The Second Tower

>be me, bonky
>i'm with my horse-man pal, pickle horse-man
>we're climbing the tower of ass
>but every time we get a few stories up
>someone sticks their ass at us and farts at us
>and we fall back down to the bottom
>this is the hardest tower we've ever scaled
>and you'd think we could just hold our breath
>but they ensemble gas you
>until you can't hold it anymore
>and you have to draw a big deep breath
>and then you're worse off than if you had just accepted defeat at a far lower level and be driven away by a weak, airy toot
>but this time i have it
>pickle horse-man creates a bag
>that he puts over my head
>and there's a long tube
>and at the end of the tube
>a gas powered air pump
>i begin my climb
>i am farted at
>but my mask protects me
>i can feel greater orchestrations of farts brushing past my skin
>warm hot puff balls
>i'm determined
>something tugs at my mask
>i wave at pickle horse-man to release more slack
>he shrugs
>he shouldn't be shrugging
>when your life is in someone's hands
>you don't want them shrugging
>i look down
>oh fuck
>i see them now
>they're asses
>they aren't evil full people
>they're just legs with an ass on top
>they've taken a huge pair of scissors to my tube
>and they're inserting the tube into one of the asses
>oh fuck
>i start working double to get to the top of the tower
>i look back
>there's an enormous wad of trapped gas climbing up the tube toward me
>oh lord
>don't let me go down like this
>i'm almost to the top
>angels, i beseech ye
>quicken my ascent
>take me now
>oh!
>angels are flying me up!
>they're flying me to the top of the tower!
>i can see the whole earth open up in miles around!
>at the center is my Dad!
>he says welcome home, son!
>he looks just like me!
>this is crazy!
>i can't wait!
>we're going to have so much fun!
>I leap to join him in a great herd to end all herds!
>I wake up in a horsepital
>I fell off the tower of ass
>I permanently smell like fart because the atomic fart ball penetrated into my bones
>they say i'm more fart than horse now
>I ask what happened to my Dad
>pickle horse-man says I'm a fabricant invented by the horse logos that he's trapped with for all eternity
>i ask if he'll get me a cup of wa-wa
>he says no