Daddy-o Discord 1

>Your vision becomes clear as the brightness fades from your eyes.
>You were in a fairly well furnished room, a living room, if your guess if right. For the most part, it was what is to be expected from a lifting room. It was rectangular, with a wooden floor, neatly painted jade green walls – not unlike the color of KK’s hair – and a ceiling fan.
>But there was an odd ensemble to the room. Everywhere you looked, something was off.
>The planks in the floor spiraled inward to a single circle of wood, located in the center of the room. The walls, while neatly done, had a swirling motion in them, constantly moving from darker to lighter shades of green. And the ceiling fan’s blades were contorted and misshapen with holes scattered throughout them randomly.
>There was also the furniture. Closest to you was two, extremely comfortable-looking, wood adorned chairs in either corner of the right side of the room. Both were seemingly defying gravity by sticking to the wall. On the opposite side of the room was a couch…on the ceiling. It looked just as comfortable as the chairs, but unlike them, had some kind carving in the wooden parts.
>The only normal things in the room were the door behind you, a large doorway to what seemed to be a kitchen, and a window on the wall behind you, which looked out into purple swirling nothingness.
>And, of course, on the other side of the room, directly under the couch, was Discord. He was still frozen in shock, eye twitching slightly every so often.
>Well, here you were. All alone. With a god. That you just pissed off a few minutes ago. Perfect.
>To keep calm, you start to reason with yourself. Maybe he wouldn't be that bad. Yeah, he did seem pretty bad, but that was after you pissed him off. And, now that you think of it, you've only know the guy for a few minutes. And even then, you hadn't actually talked with him during that time. So maybe you're overreacting.
>…
>You REALLY hope that you're overreacting.

>As if on queue, Discord snaps out of his little stupor, angry as hell.
>”AAAARRRGGGHHH!!”
>He screams with so much force that you actually have to try to keep your balance. Maybe that's a good sign…
>”That's just like her, to go and do that! Promising me something and NEVER delivering on it, then top of that, she dumps a little brat with me! And to think that she calls ME “predictable”!”
>Discord floats to the couch on the ceiling, laying on it facing the floor, and arms crossed. Man he's pissed.
>Well, he doesn't seem like he's going anywhere for the time being, so now was probably your time to step in. Just don't screw this up.

>Discord snaps the same giant stack of papers from before in front of him, looking it over with great concentration. He even went as far as giving himself a tiny set of glasses.
>Ok, don't mess this up. Just walk up to him.
>And so you do, slowly working your way to the…ceiling couch.
>As soon as you are in his line of sight, Discord looks over the paper currently floating in front of his face, and at you. He was not happy in the slightest.
>”Oh, look who's here. It's the no good brat that got me into this mess! If you would have just passed up the deal, I wouldn't be in this situation!”
>Wait, he’s blaming this on you?! Oh hell no!
“Hey! It's not my fault, you're the one the made that stupid deal! And you didn't really leave me with any choice!”
>”Of course I did, you could have declined if you wished.”
“I would have DIED!”
>Discord rolls his eyes and continues his scanning through the papers.
>”A temporary matter.”
>Was he fucking serious?! TEMPORARY?!
“Yeah, temporary for you maybe, but if you haven't noticed yet, I can't just explode and come back to life whenever I want!”
>”Yes, but…”
>Discord trailed off as he looked wide-eyed at the single sheet of paper in front of him. He starts to mutter under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear.
>”…upon signing you agree to take on the role of active guardian for…wait…FOR LIFE?! But I'm immortal! How is that fair at all?”
>Heh. While you didn't laugh, it was still funny to see a god so upset.
“Well, I guess we're in this together huh?”
>Discord sneers.
>”Not if I have anything to say about it.”
>He's nearly growling when he snaps his fingers, sending him away with a flash of light.
>Huh.
>That was a relief on you. You needed a minute to relax.
>Also, he may do some good in getting you out of being his son.
>But you would have to wait on the second one. For now, you relax.

>While discord was gone, the stack of papers remained on the ceiling, only one paper was out of place, the one Discord was holding. It too was affected by the pull, letting it slowly float to the ceiling with the others.
>Sighing, you walk over to one of the chairs on the wall. Both were nearly touching the ground, so you were able to hop up onto one easily enough.
>Though, when you expected to land on the back, you were quickly pulled to the bottom of the seat, so that you were sitting in it properly.
>So, apparently, what you assume is Discords house, changes gravity on a whim. Not that you were complaining, it was pretty fucking awesome! But it was also pretty disorienting, with the wall becoming the floor all of a sudden. On a side note, you were right about the chair being comfortable, you didn't want to leave.
>Buuuut your curiosity calls.
>You poke your ha-hoof…out into the area off of the chair. It doesn't feel any different than on the chair, so you try stepping out onto the wall. And to your surprise, you stay there. Even if you jump, you stay on the wall. Hmm.
>Walking up to the wall that used to be the ceiling, you put your hoof onto it. It pulled your hoof onto it letting you continue walking onto the ceiling. This was really strange.
>You spend a good while entertaining yourself with the gravity. Jumping from one wall to another, sitting in the corner of the ceiling to see what happens, anything at all. That is, until you notice that you could now reach the papers on the ceiling.
>Heh, well Discord isn't the only one allowed to know what's going on.

>You walk to the ceiling and lay in front of the single sheet of paper on the ground. Luckily for you, it was face up.
>On it were a lot of big words and you knew the meaning of almost none of them. The only part that you could read with any clarity, was the section on you. It said exactly what Discord was angry about, one lifetime of responsibility for you. Below that was how you were to be treated.
>Wow! If KK actually did write this, then she set you up good! Not in a bad way, but she was very specific on how you had to be treated.
>Three meals a day, own room, transportation, education.
>Education…
>Now that interested you. You read more in depth.
>”…education for subject ‘Ano’ will be provided by the princess, Twilight Sparkle. Lessons will be arranged by myself for personal, one-on-one tutoring…”
>Holy shit! KK set you up with stuff that would be king levels back on Tetra. No one but the high-ups got any of the things that you would be getting here!
>And school…being taught…and by a princess if you read correctly. You couldn't wait! Even if Discord was a COMPLETE dick from here on out, it would be worth putting up with him for all of this.
>And speak of the devil.
>Discord pops back into the room with the signature white flash. He was in a state of disarray, even more so than before.
>His eyebrows were singed, most of his tail seemed to be bitten off, his left horn was gone, and his wings were on upside down. Unlike when he left, he seemed to be more annoyingly tired, than angry.

>It was strange to look up at the floor, but that wasn't important. You were more curious about Discord’s state of havoc.
“What happened to you?”
>”Ugh. KK happened, that's what. You question her about one of her contracts once, and she sends you to Tartarus for it. That pony does NOT take no for an answer.”
>Discord floats up to the couch and plops down onto it, crossing his legs and arms once he's seated.
“Does that mean that you can't do anything about me being your son?”
>He lets out a huff of smoke from his nostrils.
>”I'm afraid so. Now that she's made up her mind, there's no power in this multiverse that could sway her.”
>Hmph, that sucks.
>Well if you're stuck with this guy, you might as well attempt to make amends. If you don't, who knows how things will go. He might throw you into that Tartar place or whatever. Regardless, less trouble for you if you can get on his good side.
“Hmm… Well if that's the case, then I guess I'd like to say…sorry for laughing at you earlier.”
>That fucking hurt, to say that you're sorry to a douche, even if he was a god. But you suck it up just this once.
>Discord, however, looks down at you from his seat with surprise.
>He knew what you were trying to do. You were trying to cleverly wiggle your way in with apologies, just to make it easier on yourself. Possibly a result of living on the streets of a cruel world for so long. Regardless, Discord really was impressed with your quick wit, and he could appreciate it. He wouldn't let you know that, but he would at least play along.

>As before, he covers up his true emotions quickly with aggravation, letting out another puff of smoke directly at you, causing you to cough.
>It smelled like blue salad.
>Why did you know that?
>”Well…I suppose that I could forgive you JUST THIS ONCE. Only because, KK would throw a fit if I didn't forgive my own ‘son’ of his trespasses.”
>You pause for a moment to think.
>Ok, he accepted. He was, once again, a douche about it, but he accepted. Now, let's see if you could push this just a little further. Time to put those fourteen years of street charisma into practice.
“Y'know, I really think that we started out on the wrong foot, with how we met and stuff, so if we're gonna be stuck together from now on, I think it may be best for the both of us to start over like nothing ever happened. So, what’ya say?”
>It was horrible compared to how you usually are, but it was probably the best you could do with what you have.
>Yet, after a few moments of staring at the ceiling and stroking his beard, Discord slowly nods his head, to your surprise.
>”As much as I hate to agree with a brat, you're right. It would save very much hassle if we forgot about the trickery and insubordination, and focused on figuring this contract out.”
>You had no idea what that big word meant, but he agreed, and that's all that mattered.
>Discord snaps, bringing the full stack of papers to him in a poof of smoke. He looks over it very quickly, before snapping it out of sight.
>”So, I suppose introductions are in order. Ahem. I am Discord, Master of Chaos and Spirit of Disharmony.”
>Once again, Discord snaps, causing a fair amount of confetti and streamers to shoot out from behind him.
>While he was in a slightly better mood, he was nowhere near happy, and the whole introduction seemed pretty half-assed to you. Whatever, it didn't matter, it was your turn.

“My name is Ano. Street name, Devo. Nice to meet you.”
>You give a small bow along with your words to feed his ego just a little more.
>Discord just rolls his eyes.
>”Yes well, I assume that you have figured out that this is my house by now, so I suppose you can make yourself at home. If you have any questions, come and see me I guess, since that appears to be my new job.”
>Discord lays longways on his couch with a yawn, and closes his eyes.
>”But do keep annoyances to a minimum. I need to rest after such an…eventful day.”
>He said his last two words with particular disgust.
>The good news is that he doesn't seem to hate you too much. Yeah, he was a passive-aggressive dick, but that could possibly be his personality. You would need further observations before saying anything for sure, but it doesn't look like he wants to ruin your life anymore. So, win in your book.

>Well, it seems that for now you would have to take his advice and explore a bit. Which, strangely, you hadn't thought to do while he was gone.
>Oh well. More for you to do now.
>You stand from your lying position and jump, making gravity flip back to its correct orientation. Twisting your body along with the pull, your hooves are moved back underneath you, and you stick the landing.
>A little trick that you picked up while Discord was away. Of course, not without a few failed attempts of landing hard on your head.
>...
>You think there's some irony in that fact, but you couldn't quite place it.
>Hmm.
>Anyways, you look back up to Discord to see what he thought of your acrobatic capabilities. And, of course, he had his eyes closed. Fuck.
>He holds up a large card with “4 1/4” written on it. THAT FUCKER! He's judging you and he wasn't even looking!
>Whatever, he's probably just jealous of your top notch skills. Yeah. That was it.
>Brushing that off, you move around to the entrance of the next room.
>Upon entering, you were greeted by a room that was pretty similar to the living room in most ways. It was roughly the same shape and size – 8 meters by 4 meters if your instincts were correct.
>There were only two outlying factors. The first was that it was a kitchen, obviously, with all of the appliances that would be expected. The other was that everything was upside down.
>There were no other doorways from there.
>Welp. That's fucking depressing. It looks like your little adventure would be cut short. Really short.
>Guess you'll have to find something else to do.

>You look up at all of the appliances on the ceiling.
>Thinking about it, you haven't seen much of this world yet, but from what you have, there seemed to be a fair lack of energy here. Except for the organic life, there was no energy to be found at all, so how were you supposed to live here? Unless your needs changed along with your species, you would need something to sustain you. Well, you could survive off of living energy if you had to, but it would be less of a struggle to use artificial energy. Hmm.
>You move to the wall and, as with the other room, you walk up to the ceiling with ease. Moving over to the counter on the left side of the room, you stand on your hind legs, supporting yourself with your front legs on the counter, so that you could see over the top of it. There was a small toaster sitting squarely against the wall. Perfect.
>Reaching up with your hoof and placing it flat against the toaster’s side, you focus on drawing energy from the base of your hoof. As usual, the energy in the toaster obeys and comes to you, but it was a very small amount. As it's drawn out, the toaster falls to the floor, resulting in a loud metallic crash that makes you flinch. You hope Discord wouldn't be angry.
>Still, it was interesting that it fell when you drained it. Maybe due to magic possibly being a type of energy, if you were to assume that magic is what was keeping it there in the first place. Things to think about later.
>Regardless, it wasn't nearly enough to fill you, so it looks like organic energy it is then. Maybe Discord could conjure up something for you. A bird would do good. Anything that could fly would help you out at this point.

>Flipping to the floor, you head back into the living room. Discord was still sleeping on his couch, except he had gained a sleep mask, and returned to his normal state of disarray since you left. It surprised you that he was still sleeping at all, considering that you had dropped a metal toaster from ceiling-height just a minute ago.
>What now? You didn't want to wake him up and make him angry, but you had a few questions and a request.
>...
>Eh, what the heck. He did say that it was his job to answer your questions now, so you might as well put him to work.
“Hey Discord!”
>Discords breathing stops for a moment before he lets out a sigh.
>”Yes?”
>He says tiredly without moving from his position.
“I’ve thought of a few questions for you.”
>”Oh goodie.” He says sassily “And what, pre tell, are those?”
“Well, first of all, how is this whole new life thing gonna work out for me? I asked KK earlier, but she didn't really give me any answers. So is there anything I need to know about this world before I get into this?”
>Discord scratches his chin.
>”Well, there are a few things, but you don't need to know them right now. We won't be doing anything about your “new life” until tomorrow. In terms of how this will work, I have yet to figure out myself. I doubt that we would want everyone to know about your past, so it would probably be best for that to stay secret, but besides that I'm not really sure.”
>You had hoped for a little more informative answer, but you would take what you could get.

“Hmm. Well in that case, time for my next question. Are there others like you? Y'know, crazy magic and stuff?”
>”Yes, there have been many that have come along, but many of them are either dead or banished to the darkest corners of Tartarus. Only a few worthy of mention remain.”
>More huh? That made you curious.
“And those are?”
>Discord lets out yet another sigh. Man, this guy really likes to sigh a lot.
>”There are exactly 7 besides myself, though most are not as skilled as me.”
“Yeah, but who are they?”
>Discord lifts up his sleep mask partially so that one eye was visible.
>”Why do you care? It doesn't even matter to you.”
>Discord was actually curious as to what use you could possible have for that kind of information.
“Well, it might not matter right now, but it does seem pretty important for me to know the powerful people in this world. So who are they? Leave no details missing.”
>Truth was, you just wanted to know something, anything, about this world. Even if it was as trivial as people that you would probably never meet, it was still better than nothing.

>Discord pulls off his sleep mask completely and sits up on his couch.
>”Ugh, fine. If you must know, all of them are ponies. At least partially.”
>Hm. So that probably means that you were right about ponies being the main sentient race in this world. Wierd.
>”First are the princesses: Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. They are all alicorns, ponies with both a horn and wings, which means that they can use magic and fly.”
“But,” You interrupt him “can't anyone use magic? KK didn't have a horn OR wings but she could still use magic.”
>Blowing a small puff of smoke, Discord twirls his claw through it, causing several 9-dimensional shapes to form out of smoke.
>”KK is a…special case. Not even I know her whereabouts, and I've lived for millennia. But I'll get to her in a moment. All that you need to know for now is that only unicorns can cast magic.”
>Special case, huh? Well that sucks. You wanted to try your hand…hoof at magic at some point, but it looks like that plan is kaput. Whatever, you still had your wings. And if you heard him correctly, he said Princess Twilight, which means that your education would be with one of the most powerful beings in this world. You just hope that she won't be as much of a douche as the sentinels back on Tetra, or Discord.
———
>”As I was saying, there is also Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Changelings. And before you ask, the Changelings are a race of shapeshifting insects. Parasites, really. The only reason that their worth mentioning is because they've survived this long.”
>Shapeshifters? Cool, you might have to try meeting them one day. Though, by the way Discord was describing them, it didn't sound like they were very nice. You would need more information before proceeding.
>”And lastly, there is KK, who is a completely different subject by herself. She is, as I said, a mystery. I've followed her around for centuries, trying to find out about her origins, but she's never told me a thing. And the very few others that know of her couldn't say anything either. The only concrete fact that anyone knows about her, is that mentally, she is not one to be reckoned with by anyone. Which makes me question why even accepted her deal.”
>Discord pinches the bridge of his snout in regret of his action.
>Huh. While you didn't get that impression from meeting her, it made sense. You'd have to be pretty clever and gutsy to trick a god and then stand strong afterwards. But wait…
“What about the other two? You only said five.” As uneducated as you’re ass may be, you could still count.
>”Ah, yes. The last two. If you would like to know about them, you'll have to ask KK. She knows much more about them than I do. I'd imagine that she'd also be pretty upset if she didn't get to tell you herself.”

>Well, looks like more questions for you to save for KK.
>”So, any more questions before I continue my nap?”
>You return your focus to the situation at hand.
“Yeah actually, two.”
>Your hoof immediately shoots up to raise two fingers, but you're cut short by the lack of appendages. Though, there did seem to be muscles somewhere in the base of your hoof that reacted just like fingers would. Examining your hoof closely reveals that the muscles contract inwards. Possibly used for gripping things.
>”Ahem.”
>Your attention is drawn away from your hoof and back to an impatient Discord.
“Oh yeah, sorry.”
>You rub the back of your head, embarrassed.
“First, could you maybe poof me up an animal, like a bird or something.”
>A strange request, but Discord saw no harm in it. With a snap of his talons, a canary pops into the center of the room with a poof of smoke.
“Cool. And lastly, can I get that room promised to me in the con–”
>Before you can even complete your sentence, a crimson envelope comes into existence in front of you with a grand burst of white flames, and floats gently to the ground. There was a white wax seal on the front with a strange symbol imprinted into it. For you maybe? You look up to Discord for some type of confirmation. He just looks back and shrugs. Hm. Guess you'd open it then.
>Using the newly discovered muscles, you pick the letter up in your hoof and use your teeth to tear it open. Inside was a folded up piece of paper with the words “Ask And You Shall Receive” written beautifully in its center. Turning it over reveals set of neatly printed words, also directly in the center of the page. “Place firmly against flat surface” At the bottom, was “Put it anywhere you like. -KK” written in the same style as the words on the front of the paper.
>Well. That amazed you. You just sat on the floor, baffled.
>How the hell did she–

>Your train of thought is interrupted by a sharp hiss directly into your right ear. You tense up. Was Discord trying to mess with you? Looking up to the couch, you see Discord in the same position as you left him, and the same bland expression on his face. He sees you looking at him, and holds his hands up in a “I had nothing to do with this” kind of manner.
>Something was moving across your back and coiling down your front right leg. You stay as still as possible, not wanting to agitate whatever was on you. Your body would normally be able to easily fight off any bite that's thrown at it, but without any energy, you'd be pretty bad off. Why the fuck wasn't Discord doing anything?
>The thing finished its coiling down your leg and moved into your line of sight, and just as you suspected, it was a snake. Its main scales were a pine green, matched by the pale yellow-green scales on its stomach. All of it blended very nicely, except for its eyes. They were a vibrant orange that stood out amongst the rest of its mild body. Almost hypnotizing.
>The snake moved directly in front of you, and stood itself up slightly, looking you in the eyes. Only then did you notice that it had something in its mouth, a piece of paper. You didn't even have to move from where you were sitting to read what it said.
>Not that you would get any closer to that thing than you had to.
>It read “Don't overthink it dummy. Good things will come from that brain of yours. No need to go damaging it now. -KK” in gigantic bold letters.
>Just as you finish reading it, the snake quickly slithers off to your right, directly towards the wall. Unlike what you expected, it passes into the wall instead of hitting it, making a small part of the wall ripple like water before returning to normal.

>You shakily look up at Discord, who was casually filing his claws.
“W-what was that?”
>”Oh, that was KK’s little friend Adder. She runs errands for KK on the rare occasion that she's busy.”
>Discord looks down at you with a cheeky grin.
>”Why? You're not scared by her, are you?”
“What? Me? Nononononono. I-I was just surprised from her popping onto my back from nowhere. Anyone would have reacted that way.”
>Seriously though, this was just a whole lot for you to process.
>Discord chuckles slightly.
>”Ok, ok. Whatever you ssssssay.”
>He sticks out a snake like tounge along with his drawn out “s” which unnerved you slightly. You could easily withstand a snake bite, but that doesn't change the fact that snakes are scary. Blegh.
>Discord has himself another titter, in a slightly better mood than before.
>”So, will that be all?”
“Y-Yeah, I guess I'm good for now.”
>Discord nods and returns to lying on his couch.
>Truthfully, you would like to ask how KK knew what to put in those letters without being able to hear you, but you would drop it for now, since Discord seemed to be in a good mood, and you didn't want that to change. You'll just assume that KK probably knows everything and leave it at that. In an attempt to get that out of your head, you try to focus on other things.
>You decide that you would start off with a refuel on your energy since you hadn't eaten in weeks. You turn to the bird, who was curiously exploring a corner of the room. Perfect.

>Walking up to the bird and sitting down next to it, you lightly pat it on its head. When it's comfortable with your presence, you scoop it up into your forearms as carefully as you can and hold it firmly against your chest. Willing your body to draw in energy, the small bird is absorbed into you as if your body were gelatin. It tries to escape by flying, but only succeeds in prolonging the process. As soon as the bird is completely consumed, you receive a burst of energy and information.
>Tasty, filling, and better yet, it let you survive, and that was all that mattered to you. But besides that, you got some information from it as well. It wasn't much though. Very basic things about this world, and little to nothing about your wings. It seemed that the animals sapience would make it easier for you to learn about this world, but it would also make learning anything else nearly impossible. That was ok though, you've worked with less before.
>You look up to Discord to see if he had noticed your little display there. And sure enough, he laid there, cringing at your action.
>That reaction was expected, you just needed to know how acceptable it was in this world to kill other living things. And no better way to get that answer than by seeing a straightforward reaction from someone who lives there. And by what you saw, it was probably as unacceptable as when the humans were around.
>It’s probably best to play dumb, in case he would become offended for some reason, so you cock your head to the side and give him a confused look.
“What?”
>”I know I said that you wouldn't need to know anything until tomorrow, but you probably won't want to do that in public… Whatever that was.”
“Why not?”
>You were actually curious why. What was the reason for them to protect animal life in this world?

>”Let's just say that you eating little animals alive won't leave a very good first impression with plant eating ponies.”
>Ah. That made sense. You were just stupid. Horses were plant eaters, so it's only natural for them to look down upon killing animals since they don't need to do it. Whatever, you didn't plan on doing it in public anyways. Plus you could use this to make sure he always gives you food.
“Well, I guess I can keep it in private, but I'll still need animals to absorb in order to survive here.”
>”Yes, that's fine. I can get you as many animals as you want, but just don't do it in public. You'll end up making BOTH of us look bad with that little show.”
>Cool. Now that that was taken care of– wait… You didn't even have to do that, he was already required to feed you thanks to the contract. You mentally facepalm yourself. You really need to get that out of that mindset. Whatever. You just focus on what you were truly curious about. The letter.
>Moving over to the piece of paper on the floor, you pick it up with your hoof.
>Place firmly against flat surface.
>Ok, but before you do, you're just gonna take a second to accept the fact that whatever happens will make no sense and that you should just expect anything and everything at this point.
>Aaaaaannnndddd……. Done!
>Alright, ready now.
>You go to the wall with the two chairs on it and press the paper against it. After a few seconds, the edges of the paper become fluent with the wall, keeping it stuck in that position.
>Taking your hoof off, the paper starts to grow in size, making contact with the floor and forming a rectangular shape on the wall. When it's done, the wall starts to grow outwards slightly around the edges, forming a border around the shape. Then, from the center outwards, the paper changes to wood, giving the shape the clear definition of a door. It was nothing spectacular, just a standard, unpainted, wooden door.

>Just when you wondered how you were going to open the thing, a small silver serpent pops out of the spot that a handle should be. Jumping back from the startle, you are relieved to see that it's not in pursuit of you, just stuck to the door. Hissing at you once, it curls itself into a disc shape, protruding slightly from the door, before freezing completely.
>Oh. She made your handle a snake. Great...
>With great hesitance, you move to the door, twist the handle, and push.