My Only Friend Derpy 2 - Freaky Internet People

>Fuck fuck fuck
<Calm down, idiot. This was gonna happen anyway.
>Yeah, logic, but I left it off kinda awkward with her at lunch
<It wasn't that big a deal.
>I asked her specifically not to date Rocky, and I don't even know her name yet
<Fuck you, just go and swag it out.
>You lurch into your science room
>Rocky and that girl JUST had Writing Workshop together
>Who knows what happened between them
>You enter
>There's Rocky, in the usual spot
>It appears that this girl is officially the odd-student in this class (The 13'th), so she has no one partner to get with
>You guess she's tripling up with you and Rocky
>Teachers must hate it when that happens

>You sit down at the table for two that is usually reserved for you and Rocky, but has been renovated with an extra chair for the girl
<say something, loser.
"Hey, man."
>You say to Rocky
"Hey."
>To the mystery girl
>"Hey, Anon" says Rocky
>The girl seems a little more at ease
>"Hey. Anon?"
"Yeah, Anon. You've met Rocky."
>"Yeah."
>Rocky seems more prepared for this situation than you; he picks up his conversational game
>"Hey, if you need any help with whatever we've been doing in this class lately, ask me. I'm one of those nerdy kids who, "STUDIES"."
>She giggles
>You'd be mad if you hadn't giggled too
<Think quick.
"Yeah, if you ever need any help on how to falol asleep in this class, just check out what I'm doing."
>Everyone laughs as you pretend to sleep
>You feel good
>Popular

>It doesn't last long
>The thee of you, being awkward penguins, soon run out of things to say
>Even Rocky can't find the balls to go on one of his shitty video game rants
>For the first time, you're forced to do that which you have never wanted to do
>Pay attention in class
<Think of something to say! If you can be funny, she'll like you!
>High school humor isn't like that. Someone else needs to say something first, then I can build off of that and over-analyze it until people laugh
<Dane Cook formula
>Bingo

>The mystery girl speaks up
>You quietly scold yourself for not knowing her name yet
<maybe you can steer this conversation into it
>"So, Rocky, what are you gonna do your project on?"
>Oh, it's this again
>People around you talking about a class that you're not in
>You have absolutely nothing to contribute
>"Uh, I dunno yet. Maybe video games."
>"Really?"
>"Yeah, I'm, uh, a big fan of Xbox. Figure I'll 'write what I know'."
>"Oh yeah, right!"
>They start laughing
>"Write what you know" must be that teacher's catchphrase
<Say that!
>No
"What, is that that teacher's catchphrase?"
>Your joke falls flat on the floor, like pizza that got delivered to an orgy-house

>"Heh, yeah" she says.
>You feel like you just burst into the wrong room
>Unwanted
>Certainly not popular
>Rocky isn't as polite
>"What?"
"Seems like every teacher in this school has a catchphra-"
>Your Science teacher chimes in
>"Hey, so, lets get to work on the assignment, ok?" he says in a passive tone, like a hotel concierge you just wanna punch and choke and punch
>He walks away once all fun is decimated
>A stroke of brilliance!
"I guess that's Mr. Leimann's catchphrase"
>Everyone snickers
>You're the star again

>This goes on like hills and valleys for the entire class
>It's exhausting
>Is this the shit senior football stars have to deal with? Every day?
>This sucks
>But, you end the class on a high hill, so that's good
>you all have a conversation going about video games and how they would get novelized
>"I don't know about you, but I'd pay MONEY to read a novelization of MW3."
"Well, I wasn;t talking about, like, modern games, more like, Super Mario Bros."
>She shows her comedy balls a bit when she says, "I'd like to read 'Tetris'."
>Everyone laughs
>And you're all still laughing when you walk out the door
>All going to your next class
>The conversation doesn't stop
>This is what all the pretty people on TV do
>This is what high school is supposed to be like

>Algebra is a repeat
>Nix the interruption from the teacher- Your math teacher has given up on life and just hands you your assignments at the beginning of class
>If you do it, you do it
>Your conversation gets cool
>Rocky poses an excellent idea
>?You guys wanna come over my place this saturday?"
>It's high school: you can ask girls to come over now
"I'm into it. Better than my house, I live on a farm."
>"You want us to come over?" she asks
>"Yeah. Saturday okay?"
>It's not like you have to consult your address book
"I'm in."
>She seems more encouraged
>"Yeah, I think I can get a ride."

***
SATURDAY ARRIVES
***

>Rocky's house is cool on the outside
>He lives south of your family's farm; in a real suburb
>You've only dreamed of living in places like these; god-forbid you grow up in a corrupt urban area
>You say goodbye to your mom and leave for your play-date, or whatever you want to call it
>Rocky greets you at the door
>"Hey man!"
"Hi. That girl already here?"
>"Diane? Yeah, she's in my room on the internet. Come on in. Want some crackers or something?"
"Nah, I'm not hungry."
>"Cool. Crank Yankers is on."
>They re-run that on Comedy central now
"Neat."
>You enter Rocky's room
>Suprise: it's all clean
>You're kinda glad
>You hate going over to the houses of people who have really messy rooms and yell for their moms to get them pizza rolls at the tops of their lungs
>Diane is sitting at a desk, using a computer.
>She turns to meet you
>"Oh, hey, Anon. Rocky, come over here."
>He obeys
>They share something on the screen
>"I can explain that."
>"Uh huh?" she asks, giggling beyond giggling
>She turns away from the computer so you can see it
>There's a cartoon playing on it
>It looks sorta like Foster's home for Imaginary Friends
<What is the big dea-
>Oh. I see. It's My Little Pony.

>Diane is obviously not a freaky internet person
>Not a 4chan regular like you, no
>She wouldn't know about the gang of freaky internet people who make funny stories and images pertaining to a show for little girls
>You, being a moderate freaky internet person, know about the whole "brony" thing, but you're definitely not metrosexual enough to be a part of it
>But apparently you attract that kind of element
>Rocky tries his hand at explaining the whole internet to her, but it only makes her laugh more
>You
>Are
>So
>Awkward
>You feel like you should assist Rocky in explaining, but you just play dumb
>At a moment, you just space out
>Snap back to reality

>"You seem quiet about all this," she says between her laughter
>You look over
>Rocky is blushing hard
<Do it
>Oh man, you're gonna have to do this
<DO IT FAGGOT
>
>
"Wow."
>"I know, right?"
"No, I mean, wow, like, I didn't think anyone else in this school liked that show too."
>You wanna grab the words as they leave your head and burn them alive
>Rocky suddenly gets less embarrassed; he's holding the majority now
>Diane is fucking dying
>"You know, you should at least watch one episode before you judge."
>She is delighted
>"Oh, indeed, I'm definitely watching an episode. I gotta see this."

>Rocky turns to you
>"Okay, you're a brony too. That's really cool man."
>You say some generic made-in-china word that resembles "yes"
>"Which episode you think we should watch?
>
>
>Shit.
>You have to improvise off of knowledge you've gathered off of the internet
"Uh,... yeah, uh... yeah."
>"Uh huh?"
"Yeah. uh, I don't remember the name of it, but it was the one with... uh... Applejack? and, uh... Rainbow?"
>You pray to god that there's one with the apple one and the rainbow one.
>"You mean Fall Weather Friends?'
>
"...yes?"

>"yeah, okay. Not my choice, but I think that would be a good choice."
>"Do you two girls even know I'm still here?"
>When she's around friends she gets cocky, eh?
>You don't know how you feel about that
>"Lets do this."
>Rocky turns around; the tables have clearly turned
>"Get ready to join the herd, SON."
"Yeah."
>"Uh huh."
>After a while of fumbling around, Rocky finally hooks up his computer to his TV and we can watch it on the big screen
>Diane has last words: "Hey, Rocky?"
>"Yeah?"
>"What's your last name?"
>"Tosh."
>"I'm just gonna call you RT from now on
"RT sounds pretty cool."
>"That's gay," he says, then turns back to his laptop to play the video file

***
ROUGHLY FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY-FOUR SECONDS PASS
***

>Diane starts freaking out at the screen

-END-

Thanks to MLPFiM Wikia for approximate time