Rarisbian Fic - I want your girlfriend's sister [✔]

"This is the worst. Possible. Thing!"
>Inside a tastefully decorated room, a pale fashionista spreads herself across a purple fainting couch, crying her mascara into a pair of runny streaks.
>"Rarity, please," Fluttershy chides, gently petting Opalescence on her lap. "This hardly calls for the fainting couch act."
"It's mauve, darling."
>"Excuse me?"
"You were about to say "purple fainting couch.""
>Rarity resumes crying, inhaling scoop after scoop of lime-green ice cream straight from the cardboard tub.
>"Ummm, I wasn't, actually..."
"I'm merely pointing out that it is, in fact, mauve."
>Fluttershy plays with her hair, shifting her eyes.
>"Is the ice cream really necessary?"
"It's sorbet. And yes, it's precisely a nyanza sorbet kind of crisis."
>Rarity corrects her dear friend, then sniffles. She goes right back to shoveling more of the nyanji-whatever stuff into her gullet.
>There was an unspoken agreement between the Mane Six about what to do when Rarity pulls her fainti-- MAUVE fainting couch act.
>It's best to just listen, nod, and let her cry herself to exhaustion, no matter how long it took.
>But the waiting game was, like Rarity is wont to say: 'easier said than done, darling.'

>"I'm just saying," Fluttershy chides again in her motherly tone, "there are plenty of other girls out there."
"Yes, but none of them are like Applejack!"
>Rarity's mascara threatens to run again. Fluttershy ducks, her face full of regret.
"For almost a year I've been making moves on that dense ruffian. And yet, she rebuffs me at every turn!"
>She nom-noms another scoop, her cheeks puffed out in a horrifyingly unladylike manner.
>The sobbing starts again.
>Fluttershy stares at the fashionista, then slowly counts to a number normally reserved for estimating the mass of large objects.
>Then she counts again to a number normally reserved for estimating the mass of really, really large objects.
>Fluttershy has had enough.

>"Rarity," she asks quietly, "do you like Applejack?"
"Yes!"
>"Are you serious about wanting to date her?"
"Absolutely!"
>"Then maybe you should find something you both have in common, and start from there," Fluttershy states testily.
>A pause.
"...something in common?"
>Instead of answering the fashionista's question, Fluttershy gets up and straightens out her skirt.
>"My shift starts in a few minutes."
>Rarity sniffs, giving Fluttershy a blank look.
>"Rarity, I love you dearly as a friend. I really do. But *please* stop calling me over for 'modeling' if all you're going to do is vent for an hour."
>Fluttershy nuzzles Opalescence, then leaves without a goodbye.

"....Something in common with Applejack, huh?"

- -

>Sweetie Belle didn't particularly love staying at her sister's place.
>There are too many fragile things to break, too many fabrics to ruffle the wrong way, and an ungrateful cat that acted like she owned the damn place, if not the world.
"Ohh Sweetie Belle~!"
>And worst of all, she almost always ended up being hornswoggled into one of her sister's "bright and elegant" schemes.
"....Sweetie Belle, there you are! What are your feelings towards Apple Bloom?"
>Yep, bright and elegant schemes.
>"Apple Bloom? She's my best friend."
>Rarity grins. It's too wide and too toothy for Sweetie Belle's comfort.
"Why yes, of course! But how do you reeeally feel about her? Do you find her rugged looks charming?"
>"Uhh..."
"Oh oh! What about her terrible table manners? Does her uncouth behavior arouse you?"
>"Rarity, I don't see Apple Bloom the same way you see her older sister."
>Rarity's eyes dart around, her face flushed red.
"Ah. Uhm. Well, I was wondering if you'd like to... You know, go on a date with Apple Bloom."
>A pause.
>"Sis, last time I kissed a girl you raised hell about the sanctity of marriage."
"Well, I'm not asking you to marry Apple Bloom, per se."
>"You also burned my Playpony magazines in the town square--"
"I mean, those magazines were quite lewd for someone your age."
>"--Which is funny, because if the rumors are true, you're bar-none the biggest dyke in Canterlot High."
"I AM NOT!"
>"Lyra has your name tattooed on her butt. 'Rarara was here xoxoxo.' I've seen it."
"Sweetie Belle. Please."
>Rarity plants her fingers on her temple in the same manner elegant people do when they're trying not to lose their temper.
>Her eyebrow twitches.
"I need you to date Apple Bloom because I need something in common with Applejack."

>Sweetie Belle stares at her sister incredulously.
>"What, having lesbian sisters?"
"No! I mean... Yes! Maybe! You know that one animated film about a couple getting hitched because their dogs fall in love?"
>"101 Dalmatians?"
"Yes, that one!"
>"...I'm not your pet, you know."
"No no no! That's not what I meant! If you and Apple Bloom spend time together as lovers, I'll end up tagging along as a chaperone. And knowing Applejack, she'd do the same for her own sister."
>Sweetie Belle raises an eyebrow at her sister, who's practically drooling as she loses herself in her own fantasy.
"Just imagine! You two doing whatever preteens do when they're dating, and me spending time with Applejack in a romantic proxy-date!"
>Sweetie Belle buries her face in her hands. A bright and elegant plan indeed.
>"Let me guess. I'm not allowed to opt out of this stupid, convoluted plan."
"Embrace your sexuality or I'll tell our parents about your Playpony magazines."

- -

Later that week...

"--and that's why I invited Apple Bloom over for a sleepover. Tonight!"
>Fluttershy takes a deep breath.
>It's not the 'oh my, this tea smells wonderful' kind. Rather, it's the 'I cannot believe what just spewed out of your mouth, so I am going to suck in a lungful of air in response to keep myself from yelling at you' kind.
>In fact, it's the same kind of deep breath that Rainbow Dash likes to follow up with one-word phrases like "BOI."
"Ah, I take it you like the tea, darling?"
>The tea is indeed nice, Fluttershy thinks. It's a perfect blend of black tea, a minuscule trace of unfiltered leaf flecks, and a deftly administered dollop of honey by someone with the precision of a seasoned seamstress.
>But that's not why she took a deep breath.
>"I like it, but that's not it," she states as much.
"Oh? Too much honey, then?"
>"No..."
>She frowns.
>"Well, maybe. It's just that I hate to think what those bees had to go through to see their fruits of labor scraped off of their hives for our own enjoyment."
>Rarity doesn't give a damn about the bees per se, but ladies are supposed to be polite. Especially during tea time.
>She nods politely.

"My deepest condolences."
>"Uhm, sorry. About what?"
"The bees."
>"Oh."
>Fluttershy bites her lip, looking sideways.
"What's wrong, dear? You seem terribly distracted."
>"It's, uhm...."
>Fluttershy hangs her head, looking dejectedly at the perfectly prepared tea.
>It really was the most perfect cup of tea she's ever had, minus the whole slave bee labor thing.
>"...When I said you should look for something in common with Applejack, I didn't expect something quite so--"
"Assertive? Brilliant? Elegant?"
>"--convoluted. And quite frankly, stupid and borderline depraved." she finishes meekly.
"Well, goodness me, someone's been getting even more assertive lately."
>Fluttershy ducks her head in an unspoken apology.
>Rarity clears her throat.

"Fluttershy, darling! There's nothing so convoluted -- or depraved, if you prefer -- about a lady taking the initiative every now and then!"
>"Does it *have* to involve arranging dates between minors? That part doesn't seem quite ladylike."
>Rarity raises both hands defensively.
"Darling, rest assured that I've covered the legal bases."
>Fluttershy raises an eyebrow.
>"Umm, Is that supposed to make me feel at ease? I mean, it kinda does, but not really. It still feels immoral and--"
"And depraved?"
>"--Yes."
>An uncomfortable silence falls between the two.
"Darling, I've consulted the foremost expert in the matter, and rest assured, it's all kosher. Halal. Dank. Cool. Whatever else."
>"An expert?"
>Rarity puts on a grin normally reserved for fictional drawings of wicked witches about to exploit minors for both sexual and gastronomical reasons.

 "As it turns out, Twilight -- *our* world's Twilight, mind you -- is quite the expert in the legal matters of frolicking with minors--"
 >"She's WHAT?"
"--and she assures me that there's nothing illegal about what I'm about to do!"
>The wicked witch grin disappears from Rarity's face as quickly as it appeared.
>She pouts sideways, muttering into her teacup as she prepares to take a sip.
"I mean, why would it be illegal? I'm doing it all to win Applejack's heart. If expressing love is to be made illegal, then arrest me now! I am a criminal guilty of first degree love!"
>She takes a triumphant swig from the gilded porcelain, savoring the taste of moral victory.
>Fluttershy gives her hands something to do by stirring the tea furiously.
>It's marginally healthier than reaching over the table and strangling her counterpart, she decides.
>"Rarity, you need help."
"Oh, yes I do! I was wondering if you could model this lacy frock I designed last night--"
>"Thanksforthetealoveyabye!"

- -

>Preparing for a sleepover is hard, especially so if you're a carefree pre-teen whose sister arranged the damned thing herself and left you in charge of the actual legwork.
>There are sleeping bags to be laid out, activities to be planned, snacks to be prepared--
>Something bright-colored catches Sweetie's attention.
>"What the..."
>Digging through the pile of playing cards and board game sets, she fishes out a dogeared book with frayed edges.
>The cover is full of clashing colors and tacky shapes. Clearly a product of a bygone era when chrome plating was considered fashionable.
>"[Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask]. Huh, Twilight must've lent my sister her copy."
>She sniffs the book. True to its age, it smells just like decomposing acids and mildew.
>"Eugh, it's Twilight's copy alright. It must be older than my sister and I combined."

>Sweetie plops down with the book in hand, then begins to flip through the weathered pages.
>"...'the key to the perfect make-over is to choose amongst participants whose complexion leaves much to be desired, whereupon she will opt to...' Boring!"
>She flips forward a several pages.
>"...'the losing party must upend their bloomers thence and prostrate before the winner.' What?"
>Several more pages.
>"...'the spooky-ness of the story, which henceforward will be referred to as the 'spook quotient', is a logarithmic--' Nope!"
>Yet another several pages. This one's got pictures in it.
>"...'Latex Dental Dam. Assorted fruit flavors.'"

>Something thin and lewdly packaged falls out of the book as Sweetie Belle reads from its label.
>She picks up the packet with a child's curiosity.
>Dental dams.
>Vacuum-sealed packet of them, in fact.
>Fully sanitized and flavored for pleasure, if the brief description on the labeling is to be believed.
>Sweetie Belle stares at the stack of oral fixtures for as long as her adolescent mind would allow before breaking into a million individually damaged pieces.
>"RARITY!!!"
>Had she been depicted in a rule-63 universe, her testes would be still years away from dropping out of their recesses.
>But Sweetie Belle had taken enough sex-ed classes to know precisely what these things are used for.
>Hell, her Playpony magazines (may they rest in burnt pieces) were quite explicit about their purpose, in more ways than one.
>"RAE. REE. TEE!!!" She screams again.

"I-I'm here! What's wrong??"
>"WHAT ARE THOSE???" Sweetie holds up and points at the packet of oral sex implements, not beating around the bush at all.
"Well, those are for when you want to beat around Apple Bloom's bushes--"
>"No! No no no no no no!"
"Oh, does she not have any pubes yet?"
>Sweetie Belle makes a face that highlights where all the creases would appear when she starts putting on some decades.
>"Ewww, no! Why would I even know about something like that???"
>The creases on Sweetie's face gets deeper. She shudders in absolute disgust.
>"I am NOT going down on Apple Bloom tonight!"
"Oh? Don't wanna put out after the first date? Why, that's commendable!"
>"No! That's not it at all!"
"Well, you can keep them for when you're in the mood next month."

>"Augh," grunts Sweetie Belle, because the grown-up is not listening. "Aughhhh!"
"Sweetie, there's nothing wrong with an elegant woman and a hunky woman exploring each other's lips after a romantic night together."
>"But I don't want to explore Apple Bloom's lips, I don't like her that way! Besides, I've already kissed Twist and I know what girls' lips are like!"
"Not the lips I had in mind. Twist doesn't have a hunky sister for me to lust over, anyway."
>The grown-up is really, really insisting on not listening to Sweetie Belle at all.
>"Auuuuuugggghhhh!"
>Rarity gently pats Sweetie Belle's head.
"Don't worry, darling. It's normal to get cold feet on your first night. Do keep your wits about and practice safe sex, hmm?"
>"Rarity, You're whoring me out for your own gain."
"Nonsense, I'm being a responsible adult!"
>"I want Child Protective Services to take me away forever."
"Ohhh no. Nuh-uh. Not before you get to sleep with Apple Bloom."

[Ding dong]
"Coming~!"
>Rarity hops over to the door, throwing it open.
"Welcome to our humble abode, Apple Bloom--"
>She finds herself gazing downward at an apple-shaped buckle, wrapped firmly around a well-worn denim skirt.
>Strange, she thinks to herself. Did Apple Bloom hit a growth spurt?
>The befuddled fashionista slowly raises her gaze upwards, finally ending up eye-to-eye with a pair of piercing, heart-stopping globes of green eyes.

>"Howdy, Rares," says Applejack, tipping her stetson politely. "Reckon y'all are ready for the sleepover?"
>"Hiiii," says Apple Bloom meekly from behind her older sister, smiling nervously.

"W-w-w-w-w-"
>"The word yer lookin' for is 'welcome,' sugarcube."
"-w-w-w-why are YOU here? I only invited Apple Bloom!"
>Applejack winks, then squeezes Apple Bloom with her well-toned arms.
>"Why, I'm my dear sister's chaperone for the night!"
"A-a-and you're staying for the night?"
>"Of course! Ah don't want nothin' lewd or unsavory happening to my precious little sister."
>Rarity's eyes dart side to side in panic.
"I-I wouldn't do such a... of course not..."
>Applejack takes off her stetson apologetically.
>"Uhh, not that I think you'd violate Apple Bloom or nothin', Rares. Didn't mean it that way."
"Y-yes! Pure as fallen snow, this lady. Hahaha. Ha. haaaa....."
>"Nice," Sweetie Belle sneers. "I guess you weren't wrong about Applejack being the chaperoning type, Rarity."

- -

>It takes a lot of forceful nudging and carefully planned seating arrangements, but the sleepover gets underway just the way Rarity had planned.
>"This isn't forceful nudging," comments Sweetie Belle as her cheek is pressed forcibly against Apple Bloom's own. "I can't phfeel my face."
>Rarity shushes her by elbowing her lovingly.
>Much to Rarity's surprise and subsequent vindication, Apple Bloom doesn't seem to mind the frequent skin contact with Sweetie Belle.
>If anything, the younger Apple goes from a reserved grin to bashful enjoyment, and then takes an expressway straight to actively participating in the physical contact.
>"Rarity, I think Apple Bloom just cupped my chest."
"Oooh! What a compliment."
>"I don't even have anything growing there yet."
"Pish posh! Think of it as her groping your future bust, darling. Time is relative, and all that."
>"I don't think that's how relativity works--"
>A pause.
>"--Wait, didn't you fail your physics class last semester?"

>Rarity ignores her sister's comment, because presently, her head is too busy spinning with excitement.
>They weren't even at the part of the itinerary where Rarity just *happens* to find her old Twister mat, and Apple Bloom is already laying her hands all over Rarity's beloved sister.
>Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
>It was all going according to plan--
>"Apple Bloom! Where are yer manners, young lady?"
>--minus the whole older-Apple-getting-in-the-way thing.
>Apple Bloom's face turns apple-red as she stammers out an excuse.
>"B-but sis, it was an accident! She was leaning into me and all, so I had to push her away--"
>"Don't you pretend like I don't know what you're doing, Apple Bloom. That ain't no way to treat your friend."
>Rarity waves a dismissive hand.
"Oh, Applejack. Let them be! The whimsy of youth should be left to flourish!"
>"I wish she'd flourish in a wholesome direction."
"Don't be so outlandish. It's okay for friends to touch each other like that once in a while..."
>Rarity bites her lip, inching towards the freckled heartthrob.
>Sweetie Belle glares at her older sister, ignoring Apple Bloom's groping hands entirely.

"...And you. You're the best friend a woman could hope to have."
>With her left hand aimed squarely at Applejack's mammaries, Rarity continues to lean in, her eyes fluttering like ribbons in the air.
>Somewhere in Rarity's mind, an orchestra plays the most beautiful motif know to man to a romantic crescendo. It sends all sorts of lewd tingles down her spine.
>"A-aww shucks, Rarity."
>Applejack rubs the back of her head, trying to appear as oblivious as possible to Rarity's advances.
>Rarity smiles, completely losing herself in the radiant green pools glittering just above Applejack's lovely freckles.
>The romantic motif inside her head hits fortississississimo with enough ssi's to make a Sacramento-based experimental rapper blush with decibel inadequacy.
>Indeed, Applejack showing up out of nowhere really complicated her plans for the night.
>Stupid, sexy Applejack....
>But dammit, a proper lady can improvise on the fly.
>This is merely a setback to be exploited to advance the timetable.
>And exploit it, she will.
>Oh heavens, yes. She was ready to exploit the hell out of--

>Suddenly, Sweetie Belle stands up, her tiny hands clenched into a pair of fists.
>"RARITY!" She blurts out.
>Rarity's concert crashes unceremoniously. The conductor commits seppuku, the lead violinist strangles herself on the g-string, and the percussionist pinches his genitals with castanets. There are no survivors.

"H-hmm? Wha? Beg your pardon?"
>Sweetie Belle's face is crumpled with rage and, if Rarity's social graces honed by years of gossiping about romantic triangles is correct, laced with barely suppressed envy.
>Apple Bloom is still clinging onto the raging junior marshmallow, her hands still planted firmly on Sweetie Belle's chest.
>"A-are these apples for sale? I'd buy these apples."
>"APPLE BLOOM!" shouts Applejack.
>"Rarity! We need to talk!" shouts Sweetie Belle, glaring at Rarity.
>"I want to flick your belle, Sweetie!" shouts Apple Bloom.
"AAAAAAAAAH!" shouts Rarity.
>Opalescence looks on, wondering just what the hell has gotten into these spindly-legged barbie knockoffs. She trots off to lick her nethers in private.

- - -

>Sweetie Belle stomps towards the staircase, dragging Rarity behind her.
"Sweetie! What--"
>"Not another word, Rarity!"
>Sweetie's voice drips with venom.
>Half-confused and half-annoyed by her little sister's apparent strength, Rarity resigns herself to getting dragged upstairs half-heartedly before putting up a pitiful protest.
"S-seriously! You can't just abscond and leave our guests to entertain themselves!"
>"Duncha worry about us, Rares," Applejack drones. "You do what you gotta do."
>The freckled farmer glares down at Apple Bloom with a look of disdain fit for an ancient Roman bust.
>"Ah gotta have a word with my own sister about her... Lewd antics."
>Sweetie Belle climbs several stairs in the blink of an eye, forcibly dragging Rarity and hurling her into the bathroom.
"Ahahaha, well, let's not judge poor Apple Bloom for her sexual prefere--"
>The door slams shut, cutting Rarity off.

- - -

"Sweetie Belle, what has gotten into you?!"
>Rarity whines as gracefully as possible.
>Her younger counterpart stares dagger at the fashionista for a moment, not saying a word.
"....Sweetie?"
>"What the hay were you doing to Applejack back there?"
>Rarity blinks.
"Excuse me?"
>Sweetie Belle pokes her index finger at Rarity's chest. She manages to miss both of Rarity's marshmallow bags, avoiding an awkward situation desperately sought after in a less savory thread on this very board.
>"I saw what you were doing with Applejack. You thought I wouldn't notice?"

>Rarity squats, holding Sweetie Belle by her shoulders.
"Aww Sweetie, did you forget? I told you I'm madly in love with Applejack! We were getting along nicely, and one thing lead to another--"
>Sweetie Belle swats her sister's hands away.
>"I know, I know! You've got the hots for Applejack blahblahblah. But I didn't expect you to.... to..."
>She trails off, her tiny hands rolling up into fists.
>"I-I just thought you had an innocent crush! Just a phase! I didn't know you'd act like a carpet munching thirsty slag towards Applejack."
>Rarity gasps.
"Sweetie Belle! Young lady, where did you learn such foul language??"
>"Moondancer."
"W-well, you're grounded from hanging out with Moondancer."
>"Psh, she never goes outside anyway. I only talk to her over Mystable."
"Well, you're grounded from Mystable too."
>"Hmph, whatever. I'll just talk to her when you're asleep."
>Sweetie Belle scoffs, turning her head and crossing her arms.

>Rarity sighs, rubbing her temples.
"Besides, I think *I* should be the one telling you not to take your adolescent crushes too far, not the other way around."
>"Yeah, like you're the one with moral high ground to lecture me on that," grumbles Sweetie.
>Rarity grinds her teeth. She loved her sister dearly, but even sibling love has its limits.
"Sweetie, PLEASE. What does it matter to you, anyway? Does it bother you so much to see me getting a little comfortable with someone I love?"
>"A little?" Sweetie Belle raises an eyebrow. "A LITTLE? You were practically rubbing your snatch on Applejack back there!"
"SWEETIE, WHERE DID YOU LEARN SUCH--"
>"Moondancer."
"Well, you're grounded for life from talking to her!"
>Sweetie Belle stomps her foot on the tile floor.
>"Ugh! A little, a lot, whatever, Rarity! I don't care if you have feelings for Applejack, or if you want to stare at her apples all night long. just stay away from her. Physically."
>Sweetie Belle leans forward, her gaze full of fury like a woman scorned.
>"Applejack. Is. Mine."

>Rarity blinks, trying to process what she had just heard.
>She gets to the part that starts with 'Apple,' then on towards 'jack.' But as soon as she tries to process 'is mine,' her mind reels in shock. She tries again, only to reel on that same phrase. She does this several times before giving up.
"I, uh.... I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
>"I said, Applejack is MINE. I've had a crush on her long before you did."
>Rarity stares blankly.
"You just said 'Apple Bloom,' right?"
>"No, Apple JACK."
"Ah, Bloom."
>"Jack."

>Rarity smiles, then frowns, then tries to do both at the same time. It doesn't quite work out like she hoped, so she smiles in dismay instead.
"No. Nonono. Nooo. You're much, much too young for her."
>"Nuh uh. I just hit puberty."
"Applejack and I hit puberty when you were in kindergarten!"
>"So? I've had a crush on Applejack ever since you were busy tipping Coco's canoe."
"Where did you-- You are grounded for TWO lifetimes from talking to Moondancer!"
>"Whatever, you're just jealous because I have a better shot at Applejack than you do!"
"You don't even have boobies!"
>"I have the biggest tits in my class!"
>Sweetie Belle squeezes her chests inward.
>"See? Tits for days! Moonie favorites my selfies all the time and she told me she likes girls with big knockers!"
"Ooooohhh! I am SO going to have a word with her first thing tomorrow."


>("Is everything okay in there?")
>Applejack knocks at the bathroom door.
>"We're okay, Applejack!" Sweetie Belle answers with a bit too much smile and feminine inflection for Rarity's liking. "In fact, we're coming out right now."
>She shoots a hard glance at Rarity.
>"Right, Rarity?"
>Rarity coughs, hoping Applejack hadn't heard any of her uncouth outbursts.
"O-oh. Yes, of c-course..."

>The bathroom door swings open, and a blur of pale purple rushes at Applejack waiting outside.
>Sweetie Belle snuggles up on Applejack, clutching her tightly.
>"Ohhh, thanks for checking up on me. You're the best!"
>Applejack chuckles, gently patting Sweetie's head.
>"Hahaha, ohhkay little one."

>After what feels like an eternity to Rarity, Applejack gently nudges Sweetie Belle away from her.
>Sweetie Belle does a half turn-around like a model posing in front of a well-chiseled Greek statue. She casts a smug half-lidded smirk at Rarity as she gently rests a hand on Applejack's rock-solid abs.
>Rarity sweats bullets. First at the sight of the gentle bumps contouring Applejack's shirt where her tummy is, then with world-ending jealousy.
>Celestia, what she wouldn't give to be in Sweetie Belle's shoes right now.
>"Are ya listening, Rarity?"
"H-hmm? Pardon me?"
>"Ah said, we need to have a chat about Apple Bloom. Come downstairs with me."
>Sweetie Belle beams mischievously.
>"Ohh ohh! Can I get a piggy back ride down the stairs? I think I bumped my knee and it hurts."
>She makes a pouty face, her eyes glittering innocently like a pair of emeralds.
>"Pwwwease?"
>Applejack sighs, then smiles.

>"All right, all right. Just this once, okay? We'll take a look at your knee when we're done."
>Sweetie Belle flushes.
>"Y-you could kiss it better."
>Applejack lets out a hearty laugh.
>"Ahhhahahaha! You are such a little rascal, sugarcube."
>Applejack rustles up Sweetie Belle's hair playfully.
>"Ah guess she takes after her sister in being playful, right Rares?"
"Yes, of course. That witty rascal."
>Rarity mutters through clenched teeth.
>"Well, whatcha waiting for, sugarcube?"
>Applejack winks at Sweetie Belle, kneeling down slightly.
>"This piggy's about to cruise down the stairs all leisurely-like. Hop on!"
>The pale rascal jumps and clings onto Applejack's back. She buries her face inbetween the rugged farmer's shoulders, and inhales deeply.
>Applejack doesn't seem to notice.
>Sweetie Belle quietly mouths 'she is mine' at Rarity, then sticks her tongue out.

>Rarity, with her face beet red with anger, only manages a silent whimper in response.
"God, I wish that were me."

 - - -

 >The staircase creaks as Applejack places one foot downward after another.
 >Her arms curled around Sweetie Belle's thighs, leaving soft dents where the rustic farmer's bulging muscles make contact with Sweetie's soft, pale flesh.
 >Sweetie seems to be enjoying it a little too much for Rarity's liking.
 >Sweetie Belle, for her part, clings onto Applejack's back, her face buried close to the nape of Applejack's neck -- a little too close for Rarity's liking.
 >"Applejack?"
 >"Yes, sugarcube?"
 >"I like it when you carry me like this."
 >Sweetie's voice carries a hint of raspiness -- the same kind of husky, moany voice shared between lovers whispering sweet-nothings.
 >It's definitely too seductive for Rarity's liking.
 >Applejack chuckles, seemingly immune to Sweetie Belle's advances.
 >"Why, I like you too, sugarcube. Y'all are like a little sister to me!"
 >Sweetie Belle deflates visibly at that.
 >Well, at least my wretched sister is having just as much difficulty as I am at getting through that ruffian, Rarity tells herself.
>Stupid, sexy ruffian...

>As the mounted couple and an increasingly ignored Rarity make their way back to the living room, Apple Bloom pokes her head out from behind the sofa.
>"There y'all are!" She shouts, setting down her bottle of apple cider on the table. "Applejack and I were wondering where--"
>Applejack frowns sternly.
>"Apple Bloom, ya remember what we just discussed."
>Apple Bloom shifts her eyes dejectedly.
>"Yeeaaaaaah, I know." She drones. "Ah'm sorry, Sweetie Belle. It was mighty rude of me to say those words to ya."
>Sweetie Belle rolls her eyes, then smiles.
>"Oh, don't worry. It's not like a few lewd words are going to break our friendship!"
>She gingerly slides off of Applejack's back, her hands lingering over Applejack's abs as she finds her footing -- much, much too long for Rarity's liking.
>Rarity grinds her teeth like millstones.
>"See? All made-up with Apple Bloom!" Sweetie Belle smiles innocently. "Aren't you proud of me, Applejack?"
>She leans into Applejack's torso, gazing up at her freckled love interest longingly.
>Applejack gently nudges Sweetie Belle towards Apple Bloom.
>"Proud like a tall apple tree! Now, go on. Play with Apple Bloom for a while, the grown-ups need to chat in private for a lil' bit."

>A sudden smirk creases up Rarity's face. Chatter with Applejack? With Sweetie Belle out of the way?
"Yes. YES. I need to have a chat with Applejack. In private."
>Applejack raises an eyebrow.
>"Uh, yeah. In private."
"In private, yes. Alone. With Applejack. Applejack and I."
>Rarity smirks down at Sweetie Belle triumphantly, her arms crossed like a masculine superhero posing for a comic book cover.
>Sweetie Belle frowns, glaring at her older sister.
>"Of course, Applejack," she answers, addressing her love interest rather than her flesh and blood nemesis. She flashes a fake smile, as though trying to reassure herself.
>"Don't take too long, Applejack," she says through clenched teeth. "I'll be waiting for you!"
>With that, she drags Apple Bloom with her to the backyard, stomping all the way out.
>Applejack stares at Sweetie, then at Rarity.
>"Rares, mind tellin' me what the hay is going on here?"
"It's nothing, darling..."
>Rarity replies, waving a dismissive hand.
"I grounded her from talking to Moondancer, and she's taking it rather poorly it seems."
>"Ah."

"Anyhow, now that the *children* are out of the way..."
>Rarity swishes her hair as seductively as she can manage, then does something with her hands that would drive anyone with a beating heart into lustful frenzy.
>She bends her right wrist inward, bending her index finger suggestively towards her dainty chin.
>Her left hand moves downward, lingering just above her pubic bone, then ends up sprawled over her upper thigh like an octopus walking upright on its tendrils. It tugs at her skirt upwards -- but not too much.
"So, what did you wanna talk about?"
>Rarity's voice comes out like that of Aphrodite expecting a climax in the near future -- husky, breathy, and every syllable sprawled out like a pair of gorgeous legs about to be wrapped around a strong, muscular waist.
>Applejack merely smiles, either choosing to ignore Rarity's advances (yet again) or being her frustratingly dense self.
>"Jus', you know, I've got a question to ask ya about Apple Bloom."
>Applejack's voice comes out like that of a store clerk stating the price of a candy bar -- nonchalant, matter-of-fact, and every syllable sprawled out like a disinterested lover laying in a sofa with a beer in her hand.
>Rarity frowns, more than a bit annoyed by her wasted efforts.
"Oh. R-right. Go ahead."
>"So, uhhm..."
>Applejack coughs, clearing her throat.

>"Are y'all trying to *groom* Apple Bloom?"


- - -

>"Uggghhh."
>Sweetie Belle lets out a groan as Apple Bloom watches with curiosity.
>The pale girl paces back and forth around a small brick firepit that ties the backyard together. It emits a comforting amber glow as pieces of firewood pop and tick with spiraling embers.
>"UGGGHHHHH."
>Sweetie Belle repeats herself, then kicks a stray rock into the fence. It bounces off with a loud thud, startling the life out of someone's dog.
>"UUUGGGGGHHHHHH."
>She crumples into a squat next to Apple Bloom, crossing her arms above the knees and planting her forehead there firmly.
>"What'cha so upset about, Sweetie?"
>Apple Bloom inches towards her, gently rubbing the pale girl's back.
>"Y'all doing okay, Bloom? What's wrong?"
>"Apple Bloom..."
>Sweetie Belle pauses. Does she dare tell Apple Bloom about her true feelings?
>"Don't ya fret none, Sweetie."
>Sweetie Belle feels the young farmgirl embracing her from behind.
>"Whatever it is, just know that Ah'm here for ya."
>A calloused hand creeps down Sweetie Belle's shirt, inching towards her bosoms.
>Yeah, okay, Sweetie thinks to herself. She really needs to tell Apple Bloom before this goes too far.

>"Hey, Apple Bloom? You can, uh, stop doing *that* whenever. I'm doing fine."
>Apple Bloom ignores her please, digging her hand deeper down Sweetie's shirt.
>"Heavens, Sweetie. You are so soft..."
>And your hands are full of callouses-- Hey, watch the bra!"
>"Mmmf... Lord have mercy, you really do have the largest knockers in the entire class."
>"Apple Bloom, PLEASE. I'm trying to be serious!"
>The girl with the largest knockers in the entire class pushes Apple Bloom away.
>"Look, you're a good friend and all--"
>"Are ya putting me in the friend zone?"
>"No! But that's not the point--"
>"Nice," says the girl who doesn't have the largest knockers in the entire class, licking her lips. "Friends with benefits?"
>"Will you listen for a second, Apple Bloom??"
>Sweetie Belle grunts unladylike, her nostrils flaring with frustration.
>"I don't like you in that way. Not now, not ever! Because..."
>Apple Bloom's expression crumbles.
>Sweetie Belle squeezes her eyes shut.
>"B-because I'm in love with your sister!"

- - -

"E-excuse me?"
>Rarity raises an eyebrow so high that it tears a new set of crow's feet around her eyes. She reminds herself to visit the spa for a facial as soon as possible.
>Applejack, too, raises an eyebrow, but far more accusingly.
>"Grooming Apple Bloom," she intones flatly, crossing her arms. Rarity's heart sinks at how good Applejack was at pulling off that look.
"I-I'm afraid I haven't got the slighest clue what you're talking about."
>"Oh, really? Herding yer sister to sit as close to Apple Bloom as possible? Forceful nudgin'? Tryin' to distract me with your fanciful scent and lingering hands?"
>Applejack jabs a finger at Rarity's chest, not giving a hoot where it lands.
>It sinks squarely into one of Rarity's enviably large mammaries. The fashionista blushes heavily.

>"I know how Apple Bloom swings, and I was kinda glad she got to filly-fondlin' with a nice gal like your sister. Heck, even I feel like giving Sweetie's bum a squeeze sometimes."
>Rarity's cheeks puff up with unspeakable jealousy.
>"At first, I didn't think much of the whole shenanigans. But then I remembered y'all trying to court me over and over again for months on end--"
"YOU RUFFIAN! So you *did* notice my advances!"
>"--It's not like they were subtle or nothin'. Now, lemme finish."
>Applejack clears her throat.
>"I know you feel hurt, it's not easy being rejected by your crush. But that doesn't mean you get to go off and... You know. *Settle* with the second closest thing. That's just wrong."
>Silence.

"Are you... Are you accusing me of SETTLING? With Apple Bloom?"
>"Well, I wouldn't say I'm accusing ya, per se..."
"How... You would dare say such... Augh! Unbelievable!"
>Rarity stoms her foot as daintily as possible.
"How dare you accuse me of SETTLING??!"
>"Ain't that what you've been trying to do all along?"
"No! I was just trying to get inside your--"
>Rarity chokes mid-sentence, catching herself inadvertently revealing her plans.
>"Rares, not even you can get what you want, whenever you want it. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."
"Oh, please. I'll have you know that I have *plenty* of sex appeal and can seduce anyone I want, thankyouverymuch!"
>In a well-rehearsed motion, Rarity twirls, then strikes a pose as to prove a point.
>Her hair whips around in a fan of infinite purple strands, curving and wrapping around her porcelain face like a series of sine waves gone mad with love.
>Just below that madness, her torso bends slightly, changing slopes and curvatures of her impressive breasts, proving that yes, they're very real and you can play with them once you Ask Rarity into Your Heart.
>Further south, her hips swing around as though guided by a masterful pen stroke of an artist, drawing a perfect half of a perfect circle, and playfully flaring out her skirt.
>For a brief moment, a pair of legs stretching out into the great beyond reveal themselves to anyone who dares to stare, all the while concealing just enough to drive one's imagination absolutely bananas.
>Across time and space, angels wailed with blissful climax. The chastest of saints felt their loins grow turgid. The dinosaurs, realizing that they'd never possess such sexual prowess, summoned meteors upon themselves rather than face reality. Countless poets lived and died trying in vain to put such outworldly beauty to mortal words.

>In the present, Applejack replies simply with one word: "Okay."
"You know what? I'm going to "groom and settle" for your sister just to spite you."
>"Oh don't you dare, Rares."

- - -

>Four figures, arranged strategically in a circle, are sitting quietly on the kitchen floor.
>They exchange glances, each trying not to be the first to blink in the most intense Mexican Stareoff in recorded history.
>After several minutes, the pale fashionista slices through the thick silence with a gentle crease around her pouty lips.
"So, it has come to this, then."
>Across her, a rustic farmgirl narrows her emerald green eyes.
>"So it has, Rares."
>Her hand twitches, calloused knuckles heaving and flexing as her digits curl up into a series of loose hooks.
>Slowly, she reaches behind her. Her bicep lurches into a rigid lump as she firmly grasps something hard.
>Rarity resists an urge to faint as Applejack's rolled-up sleeve bulges outward in an outrageous display of physical fitness.
>In one smooth motion, Applejack whips out an elongated brown object, its smooth surface reflecting a dizzying array of glints from the fluorescent lamp overhead.
>With a loud clack, Applejack firmly places the object in the center of the Mexican Stareoff, pointing the business end directly at Rarity.
>A crimson strand rolls down the fashionista's nostril, her heart pounding at the anticipation.
>Goodness, of all the things to do during a sleepover...
>Was she really ready for this?
>"What's the matter, Rarity?" Sweetie Belle smirks, shooting a smug gaze at her older sister. "Is this too lewd for you?"
>Rarity stammers.
"N-not at all! I'm j-just... Taken aback, I suppose."
>Applejack grins.
>"Hah! You'll be taking it in the back, alright. Too prissy for this sort of thing, miss fashioneeeesta?"
>Rarity gulps, staring at the brown object pointed at her.
>The tapered end of the thing was still glistering with Applejack's saliva from when she downed the whole... thing.
>'To prepare it nice and good for the game,' the farmgirl had said.
>A viscous drop forms on the tip as the object lays on its side untouched, emanating a hint of sweet apple scent as it droops further down suggestively.
>Rarity inhales sharply, realizing that she had forgotten to breathe. She wipes the trail of noseblood with a handkerchief.
>"I don't get it," says Apple Bloom, crossing her arms. "It's just an empty cider bottle."


>"So," says Applejack, clasping her hands together. "Who wants to go first?"
>"Me!"
>Before anyone could respond, Sweetie Belle reaches over to give the bottle a spin.
>[clickclackclickclackclickclackclick clack clack click.... clack]
>The bottle points at Applejack. Rarity's left eye twitches.
>"I-I dare you to..."
>Sweetie Belle fidgets before blurting out, "k-kiss me on the cheek!"
>"You little rascal," chuckles Applejack, before leaning in to peck the little girl's cheek.
>Sweetie Belle smiles blissfully.
"You know, I don't think 'spin the bottle' involves dares and whatnot."
>"First of all, that's incredibly lewd," Applejack intones firmly. "Second, Ah don't wanna see you smoochin' up my darling little sister, so Ah changed the rules a bit."
"For the second time, I am NOT trying to groom Apple Bloom!"
>"Ya'll sure don't act like it, sugarcube. Now shush, it's my turn to spin the thing."
"Hmph!"
>[clickclackclickclackclickclackclick clack clack click.... clack]
>"Ah, Rarity! Truth or dare?"
"Truth, I suppose."
>"Are ya trying to groom Apple Bloom?"
"No!"
>Applejack frowns, staring at Rarity for a very, very long second.
>"....Fine, Ah believe you. But if I see you tryin' to do something funny--"
"Oh PLEASE. Just give me the dreadful bottle."

>Frustrated, Rarity takes out her anger on the bottle.
>[CLICKCLACKCLICKCLACKCLICKCLACK...]
>"Why, somebody's still upset about having no game at all."
"Sweetie Belle, you really must stop associating with Moondancer."
>[CLICKCLACKclickclackclickclack...]
>"Sis, what the hay is 'no game'?"
>"It means a grown up gal who can't get her rocks off without robbin' a cradle."
>"Robbin' a cradle?"
"My 'game' is fabulous, thank you very much."
>[clickclackclickclackclickclackclick clack clack click.... clack]
"Apple Bloom! Ohhh darling, hahahahahaha..."
>Rarity laughs maniacally, tugging at her own cheeks. The rest of the players exchange nervous glances.
"I dare you to play 7 minutes in heaven with me!"
>"Now hold on a second," Applejack stands up, her nostrils flaring with rage.
>"Nonono, Applejack, please," Sweetie Belle clings at the angry farmgirl. "Just... Let her have this. Seven minutes is long enough."
>Long enough?
>Sweetie Belle glances smugly at Rarity. The latter responds by grinding her teeth.
>Applejack thinks for a moment.
>"Fine," she says finally. "Seven minutes. No more, no less. And if Ah find you doing somethin' unsavory to my sister..."
"Yes, yes, wrath of god, special place in hell, et cetera. Ta ta~"
>"Oof!"
>Rarity drags the younger apple behind her to the closet, closing the door firmly shut.
>"Finally," Sweetie Belle mutters to herself, grinning menacingly. "Alone with Applejack..."

- - -

"Finally, alone with Apple Bloom..."
>A pale, dainty hand pulls a cord from the ceiling.
>Apple Bloom winces as she finds herself bathed in spotlight.
>The closet is, to no one's surprise, massive. The walls are lined with clothes, shoes, handbags, and enough dapper hats to make a fedora tipper burn with jealousy.
>In the middle of it all stands a rather uncomfortable chair, whose sole occupant just happens to be Apple Bloom herself.
>Rarity slowly approaches the circle of light.
>Her torso, wrapped tightly in a meticulously tailored blazer, is eclipsed partially by a pair of shadows cast by the contours of her breasts.
>"Uhm," says Apple Bloom nervously, her gaze trailing down towards the fashionista-turned-Shadow-Spade's hips.
>There, she found a smart business skirt gently hugging Rarity's hips, ending an inch or so too shy to be considered entirely professional.
>A scandalous slit ran down from the bottom of her rear, presumably to make it easier to walk in -- and easy on the eyes of whomever might be staring.
>"Ah've seen this on an episode of The Equus-Files," states Apple Bloom, trying not to stare too much. "Am I being interrogated?"
"Of sorts, of sorts..."
>Rarity walks closer to Apple Bloom, swinging her hips far more than necessary.

>The gentle clacks of her stilettos grow louder and louder until it stops abruptly, mere fractions of an inch away from the younger apple.
>Two more clacks as Rarity slowly spreads her legs apart, almost straddling Apple Bloom's knees.
>"I... I think I need an adult."
>The tight fabric swishes and creaks as Rarity bends over, gripping the armrest and bringing her cleavage dangerously close to spilling out of the plunging neckline.
"I *am* an adult, darling."
>Rarity intones slowly in a breathy, husky voice.
"Now, tell me. Do you like girls?"
>Beads of nervous sweat runs down Apple Bloom's forehead.
>"I, uhm. Yes?"
"Good~"
>Rarity coos, shifting her weight from one leg to another. Her rear swings in and out of Apple Bloom's line of sight.
"You know, I think you and Sweetie Belle would make a wonderful couple."
>"Me too," Apple Bloom deflates a little. "But she doesn't like me."
"Oh I know, I know. Got the hots for Applejack and all that."
>Rarity grimaces.
"That stupid girl. Thinking Applejack would even consider going out with an inferior version of myself--"
>"Ah'm sorry?"
"Nothing, nothing. Anyway..."
>Rarity gently boops Apple Bloom's nose with a well-manicured finger.

"Darling, you've got this! Sweetie Belle is still young! Little girls are easily manipulated--"
>"You know I'm a little girl too, right?"
"--You just have to keep at it! Oh oh oh, do you know what 'Stockholm Syndrome' means? Why, you could even trick them into--"
>"Just like what you're doing right now?"
"--excuse me?"
>"Are y'all trying to stetson syndrom me?"
"Stockholm, darling."
>Apple Bloom fidgets, darting her eyes between her toes and Rarity's cleavage.
>"Ah mean, if you're trying to get me to like you instead of Sweetie Belle..."
>Rarity blinks.
"No. Nonono. Please, I think you're mistaken."
>"Well, you're her sister and all, so Ah suppose I could settle for you."
"Settle??? I'll have you know that I am *far* more attractive than that little vulgar rascal! I refuse to be anyone's second-best choice!"
>"Oh, really now?"
>Apple Bloom leans in, brushing her adolescent lips against the base of the fashionista's neck. She takes a gentle whiff.
>"W-wow... You smell just like her."
>Rarity recoils, standing upright, her cheeks tinted redder than a ripened apple.
"You... You're mistaken. I am *not* trying to--"
>Ignoring the detective wannabe's pleas, the adolescent apple hugs her.
>In her current position, Apple Bloom ends up wrapping her arms around Rarity's hips rather than a more wholesome place such as, say, her waist.
>Apple bloom grabs a handful of Rarity's pinup-worthy rear, her face presses up against Rarity's pubic mound, nose first.
>"You're soft just like her, too," she says straight into Rarity's no-no zone, where inner thighs come together to end their curvaceous journey.
"S-stop... You can't..."

>"[What the hay is taking so long in there?]"
>Before Rarity can respond, Applejack flings the closet door open.
>"Ah told you not to stay here longer than--"
>The farmgirl's eyes grow wide open like a pair of mirrors.
>"Hey sis," greets Apple Bloom, her hands creeping up Rarity's skirt.
"Yeah, okay. Darling, I actually can't explain this."

- - -

>*tap taptaptap tap taptap*
>Rarity lets out a groan.
>*taptap tap tap tap*
>"That's right, get a piece of that cock you dirty slut."
>*tap taptap*
"Mmmmm...."
>Blinding light floods into Rarity's view as she opens up her eyes in thin slits.
"Where... Where Am I?"
>"Oh, hello," greets the yellow-pink blob. "You're still at your place."
>*taptaptap tap tap*
"...Fluttershy?"
>Rarity rubs her eyes, standing upright. The leather couch creaks beneath her.
>She finds herself lit in sections by strips of sunlight piercing through the blinds. Her makeup clings to her face like a layer of molten chocolate.
"Why... Why are you here?"
>"You drunk-dialed me and begged me to come. Said you'd kill yourself."
"Oh."
>"Yep."
>Splitting headache.
"I must've passed out drunk."
>"Yep."
>Fluttershy taps furiously at her laptop.
"What are you doing?"
>"Playing The Shims."
"Ah."
>Pounding headache.
"Sunset's been making quite a name for herself with those video games, hasn't she?"
>"Yep."
"....You're angry at me."
>"Definitely."
>Fluttershy bites her lip as she forces two Shims to do something unimaginatively lewd in bed together.
>"Oh god," she lets out a breathy moan. "You're a filthy little hen, Mrs. Spaghetti.."
>Rarity fidgets uncomfortably.
"F-Fluttershy, darling, where are the others?"
>"Upstairs, sleeping."
"I'll go check on them right now. And uh, there's a box of tissues under the coffee table."

- - -

*knock knock*
>Sweetie's bedroom door creaks open slightly. A pair of sleepy green eyes stares back at Rarity.
>"Oh, it's you."
"Good morning, Applejack."
>"Mornin'."

>Silence.

"Is... Is Sweetie Belle in there?"
>"Eeyup. She's asleep."

>Silence.

"What... What happened last night?"
>Applejack sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.
>"Well sugarcube, we had a mighty big argument about groomin' my sister, you started cryin', drank all the wine, Ah felt bad, and then y'all drunk-dialed Fluttershy and guilt-tripped her into showin' up."
"Oh."
>Rarity chews on her lip.
"I didn't do anything impulsive, did I?"
>"No."
"Good."

>Silence.

"For the record, I wasn't grooming Apple Bloom."
>Applejack cocks up an eyebrow, giving Rarity the 'are you serious' look.
>"[God yesss, Mr. Spaghetti...]"
>"....What the hay is going on downstairs?"
"It's Fluttershy. I think she's stress-gaming."
>"Oh. Ah hope you gave her a box of tissues for when she's... Uh, "finished.""
"I did."
>"Good. Discharge and leather don't go together so good."

>Silence.

>Rarity sighs.
"Darling, regardless of whether you believe me or not about Apple Bloom, I believe I do owe you an apology."
>"No, no," Applejack holds up her hands. "Y'all explained plenty enough last night. No harm, no foul."
>She rubs the back of her neck.
>"Well, if we're gonna talk apologies, Ah believe Ah owe *you* an apology..."
>Rarity tilts her head.
"Beg your pardon?"
>Applejack sucks in a deep breath.
>"You see, I... Phew, how do I put this?"
>Rarity reaches over, gently clasping the embarrassed farmer's hand in her own.
"It's okay, darling. Whatever you have to apologize for, I'm sure it's nothing compared to what I've done to you or your sister."
>"It's.... Not like that."
>Applejack flashes an apologetic smile.
>"You see, Rares, Sweetie and I have been a thing for quite some time."
>Rarity stands expressionless.

>"Ah got really fussy with ya last night because... Well, I feared you had somehow found out and was trying to take revenge on me with my sister."

>Rarity's head spins like a meticulously engineered flywheel.
>Suddenly, everything fell into place like pieces of a puzzle, completing an obscene picture, and replaying all the infuriating moments of last night in her head, infused with a whole new context.
>'(I like it when you carry me like this--)'
>'(Why, I like you too, sugarcube--)'
>"Ah mean, hoo-wee! Could you imagine what kind of revenge a prissy gal like you take on me if she found out Ah had been peggin' her sister six way from Sunday?"
>'(I-I dare you to... k-kiss me on the cheek--)
>'(What's the matter, Rarity? Is this too lewd for you?)'
>'(I know you feel hurt--)'
>"Ah gotta give it to ya, though. If you can screw and moan like your little sister, yer gonna make some gal real happy one day."
>'(Let her have this. Seven minutes is long enough--)'
>'(Finally, alone with Applejack--)'

"--AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
>Curiously, Rarity hears herself screaming in the distance.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
>It goes on, and on, and on, and--
>"Applejack, babe, What's going on? Is that my sister?"
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
>"[Umm.... Rarity? I couldn't find the box of tissues, I'm really sorry--]"
>Rarity sprints towards her own room, kicking the door open.
>"Shit!!" Apple Bloom yelps, slamming Rarity's pantry drawer shut and pocketing a handful of lacy stuff.
"APPLE BLOOM--"
>"Look, Ah was totally not--"
"GET. IN. MY. BED."
>Reaching for her bosom, Rarity tears her own blouse open, sending buttons flying everywhere. Her chest heaves up and down as she breathes raggedly.
"I am going to settle for you SO HARD that you'll walk funny for a week!"
>Apple Bloom stares in stunned silence.
>Slowly, a knowing smile spreads across her face.
>"Aww yeah," she says simply.

THE END