Oct 2019

Anonymous Wed 02 Oct 2019 23:23:05 No.34374961
>You were sharing the couch with your housemate Lyra and trying your best to zone out as she went on about hands and practiced the only spell she seemed to use anymore.
>The hand spell.
>While your eyes drifted from Lyras rapidly flapping lips and the large golden hand made up of the unicorns magic you might as well have been another planet.
>Until the doorbell broke you out of your trance-like state.
"Cousin Minty Bubblegum! She's here!"
>Popping up off the couch you happily trot across the room to greet your favorite cousin.
"Now you're gonna meet a mare with real talent, she's my cousin, she's got my blood!"
>You swing the door open and sweep one of your front hooves in a welcoming motion across the open doorway.
"At last, cousin, come on in! Say something intelligent."
>However the only thing on your doorstep was a gigantic, bright pink bubble that grew ever so slightly larger despite looking ready to burst.
"Minty, get in here you old taffy puller! I want you to meet my friend Lyra, she's...unique."
>Welcoming the pink mass in you walk with your cousin over to your housemate who still seems mesmerized by her own magic.
"Lyra, say hello to a magnificent mare."
>"Hello magnificent mare."
>Her eyes not straying an inch from the disembodied appendage while the orb hiding your cousin strained to contain the air that kept getting added to it.
"Quit blowing that bubble you silly little filly!"
>Reaching out with a hoof you pierce the sticky inflating wad of gum.
>There was a loud pop before the shape of your cousin was finally visible although now covered in a layer of bubblegum although only for a second.
>The mare sucked in the gum that had plastered her face finally allowing you to get a good look at the cousin you hadn't seen since foalhood.
>Your eyes widened darting between your cousin and housemate.
>Same mane pattern, same mane style, even nearly the same color coat!

>Lyra was stifling giggles as the magic hand wiggled it's fingers by her command while Minty Bubblegum was already starting in on blowing a new bubble.
>You shake your head turning away from the both of them.
"I'll go get some refreshments. Lyra, help Minty unpack."
>"Ok!"
>Mintys horn began to glow and large suitcase appeared in the room.
>The faint glow of magic around the locks before her luggage popped open.
>Minty began digging through it before removing a large jar.
>"Ooo, what's that?"
>Lyras eyes drifting toward the jar nearly full of a lumpy pink substance.
>"It's my jar of gum! I've been saving it since I was a filly."
>A proud smile on Mintys face.
>"You saved your gum...wait here, I wanna show you something."
>Lyra dashed into the other room rummaging through her closet for a moment before quickly returning with a small table floating within her magic.
>"Look! It's my horns magic residue scrapings."
>Lyra flipping the table over before the both of them to reveal a small collection of amber colored wads of various shapes and sizes.
>"Wooah."
>Mintys eyes widening at the sight.
>"I scraped them from my horn myself!

----

Anonymous 10/07/19(Mon)13:16:11 No.34393885
>Be Anon.
>You've been in Equestria for a couple of months now.
>It'a actually not that bad.
>You've even got your own place, and it's cheaper /and/ nicer than your apartment back home.
>You've starting to get to know some ponies too.
>Ponies are a lot friendlier than anyone you knew before.
>Even so, there wasn't anypony you were on good enough terms with that you'd expect them to come barging in while you did the dishes.
>That doesn't stop Lyra
"Hey, Anon! I need your help, it's important."
>You drop the plate you're cleaning. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"
>Oh shit. Things can get pretty crazy in Ponyville. If it's something serious, you don't even know what you're going to do to help. You gotta do somthing though.
"C'mon," she says, and leads you out to your living room.
"I need you to cuddle me."
>What. Like you said, these ponies are friendly, but this is ridiculous.
>"What? Is that it? I thought there was an emergency."
"There is!" She stamps her hoof. "I need cuddles. Really badly."
>She looks completely serious. You can't see the slightest sign that she's making it up.

>"Fine," you grumble, and scoop her up in your arms.
>You sit down on the couch, holding this mare.
>She wriggles and stretches in your grasp, getting nice and comfortable.
>You still think it's silly... but it's also not bad.
>Seeing her relax there relaxes you too.
>The warm weight of her body pressed against yours actually feels pretty good.
>You idly stroke her; her fur is incredibly soft.
>She doesn't seem to mind the touch.
>You get a sudden urge to see what her mane feels like.
>You run your fingers through her locks. They're silky and smooth.
>And she looks so contented.
>Maybe needing cuddles is an emergency after all.
>You can't remember how long it's been since you cuddled someone like this, but you are sure that it's too long.
>After... some amount of time, Lyra suddenly perks up and nuzzles your chest.
>She jumps down to the floor. You feel awfully cold for a summer day.
"Thanks, Anon! I really needed that," she says in that cheerful voice of hers.
>She trots out the door without another word.
>That... happened.
>You knew her. You liked to hang out in the park (going outside was a lot easier with no internet), as did she, so you'd chatted a bit.
>Still, you considered her more of an acquaintance than an outright friend.
>At least you had.
>After that, you're really looking forward to seeing her again.
>You hope she let's you hold her more.

----

Anonymous 10/07/19(Mon)21:12:00 No.34396082
>Be Lyra
>You're trotting around Anon's house, ears on a swivel, trying to look for any signs of life.
>The windows are uncharacteristically dirty, and seem to be covered up from the inside.
>Dust and leaves have collected on his front porch.
>Even his grass is well overgrown.
>It's only been a week!
>You've tried knocking the door and calling for Anon, but he won't answer.
>Nopony's seen him in days either.
>Scrunching your nuzzle, you stand on your hind hooves try nipping at his "door knob."
>Why can't he have a latch like normal ponies?
>Giving up you resort to magic, and sure enough it opens.
"A-anon?"
>You trot inside, his rug muffling the sound of your hooves
>You scan the room, your eyes, slowly adjusting to the darkness.
>There he is sitting on his couch.
>Almost hesitantly you trot around and make your way in front of him.
>Dead eyes look right past you, right to the ground.
"Anon are you okay?," you ask, quieter.
>Stepping forward a clatter on the floor grabs your attention.
>There lies a bottle of sleeping pills, cast to the ground, individual pills sprinkling the living floor.
>That's not good.

>You trot over to the window, and nip at the tape keeping the thin board up.
>Even with a tug of magic helping, it doesn't let up.
>What kind of tape is this?
>Turing around you jump, your rump hitting the window side table, nearly knocking over a vase of old dead flowers.
>Looks like you have his attention now.
>But you don't like that look.
>It's hungry.
>Predatory.
>Celestia knows you want to help your friend, but every part of your mind is screaming at you to run.
"Anon, I'm going to get some- HELP"
>You squeak as the human stands to his full height and charges you before you can even step back.
>Firm strong hands dig into cutie mark, lifting you up as if you were light as a pegasus.
>You weakly buck, even nipping at his shirt, trying to get away.
>But he doesn't let up.
>Turning around, he plops down on his sofa, fingers dancing through your fur, and face buried in your tuft.
>It lasts for all of a few seconds before the human pauses.
"Anon?"
>He responds with a light snoring, the human falling limp against you.
>You nudge him backwards.
>Was... was this because you asked him to snuggle you last week?
>What kind of monster did you create?

----

Anonymous 10/17/19(Thu)10:03:33 No.34461399
>Lyra isn't a unicorn supremacist but she is highly ignorant.
>The reason she moved to Ponyville in the first place is because she thinks Earthponies are "Simple" and "Move at a slower pace."
>Ponies for the most part put up with it because they know she's born and raised in Canterlot.
>She couldn't know any better.
>Bon has thicker skin than most, which is why she's the only pony in town Lyra can call a friend.
>At least, when Lyra’s old Canterlot gang don't come down to throw cider cans at the locals.
>When Anon comes into the picture, they get along like steak and eggs.
>To the wayward human, all the ponies are just cute talking beasts of burden.
>It's hard for him to think otherwise since they still make horsey sounds here and there. Not to mention, they eat flowers and graze like animals.
>And in turn, for a human, racism is as normal as the sun in the sky so everything she says to him is water off a duck.
>He even laughs when she calls him a shaved diamond dog, a dehorned Minotaur, furless, or monkey colt.
>They could write a book for all the new tribal slurs they’ve come up with together, though for some reason half of them end with a '-niggers' suffix, whatever that means.
>Bon has to talk ponies out of lynching them everytime they hang out.
>Sun and stars help them if Lyra’s Canterlot buddies come to meet Anon.

----

Anonymous 10/18/19(Fri)03:48:59 No.34466207
>the sun stood high in the sky on this crisp and beautiful morning
>you, Bonbon, stood in line in the marketplace for a fresh loaf of bread for the week
>along with half the town, it seemed
>as you waited and held your patience as best you could, you spotted a familiar pair
>anon and lyra
>the two were trouble
>you eyed them, watching lyra sit on a bench as anon presented her with a little cupcake
>that was actually pretty sweet
>the strange fellow did seem to make lyra smile and, in spite of his crudeness, he seemed incapable of harming a fly
>however, you still weren't going to try and talk with him, lest he start whinnying after everything you say
>again
>wait
>his stature changed
>his expression curled into a devious grin, devoid of any good intention
>his brow furrowed
>he practically began to recoil as he pressed a hand to his chest and raised his other arm
>he leveled one accusatory finger, bearing it like a musket
>you followed it
>oh no
>the nice zebra from the forest nearby was trotting along, just down the road
>your breath became choked
>your eyes were locked with disdain
>your lower lip sagged, stupefied, dumbstruck, aghast
>your heart practically seized but with each searing second you watched as that motherfucker kept on
>he took a windful and blasted away
>"ZIGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR"
>he was like a pony on the opera stage
>it wouldn't stop
>each syllable struck like pegasus thunder
>you almost expected to hear trumpets after such a battle cry
>the marketplace had cut to dead silence and, though you didn't check, you knew every single pony was staring
>lyra had rolled off the bench
>she was cackling uncontrollably, her hind legs kicking in the air
>there was cupcake frosting dotted on her nose
>you covered your eyes with both hooves
>dear celestia what the ever loving fuck
>as much as you winced, in spite of all your loathing, you couldn't help it
>you chuckled

----

Anonymous 10/20/19(Sun)05:30:02 No.34477719
>The door burst open, smashing into the wall with a loud crash
"Ooga booga, where da minty mares at"
>"Sweet Celestia Anon, don't scare me like that!"
>Gazing around the comfortable home, you couldn't discern the source of the voice
>That is, until you looked up and found a certain tri-colored candy-making mare on top of one of the bookcases
>She had an adorable little pout on her face, and her coat was trembling
>"I swear one of these days it's actually gonna be the border patrol kicking down my door, and I won't realize it until I've got a bag over my head and I'm halfway back to klugetown"
>You would feel sorry for her, except that she should have adjusted after the 3rd time, much less the 5th
>Bon Bon eyed the floor, and let out a small shudder
>"Help me get down. It's your fault I'm even up here in the first place, the least you could do is fix your mess."
>You walk past her
>"Anon?! Where are you going?! Don't just leave me up here!"
>Eyeing up the kitchen, you find a small mixing bowl filled with some partially mixed confectonary slurry
>You stick your finger in it, pulling out a small slop of the goop
>Upon closer inspection, you find tiny dark green flecks mixed in
>You smile, popping the candy mix into your mouth
>"Hey! Who said that was a free sample? Get your fingers outta that bowl mister!"
"Oh yeah? Whatchu gonna do about it?"
>Bon Bon pouts, nervously looking at the ground that was oh-so far away
>You grin
>Without breaking eye contact, you move your finger back over above the bowl
>Ever so slowly, you lower your finger further and further down
>You keep going until you press your finger against the hard marble countertop
>Looking back in confusion, you see the bowl sitting half a foot behind where you last left it
>Something thwaps against the back of your head
>You turn around to see a rolled up newspaper held in a golden-orange aura
>"Come on Anon, stop teasing Bonnie like that."

>You turn around to see a fuzzy mint-colored unicorn, her golden eyes belaying mischief
>Exactly the mare you were hoping to see
>Her horn sparkles as she thwaps you on the nose with the newspaper again
>"Go on, you know how mudponies are with heights, go help her out"
>Bon Bon mumbles under her breath, but you can't quite make out what she says
>You walk over to the bookshelf, wiping your hands on your pants along the way
>You reach up, wrapping your arms around her chest and lifting
>Knowing that you wouldn't get another opportunity like this (at least until you kicked down her door again), you gently place your fimger on her snout and press inwards
"Boop"
>Bon Bon tries to bite your finger, but unlike her, you learned from previous experiences and quickly pull your finger backwards
>She starts flailing her hooves and writhing her back, like a cat trying to squirm out of a toddler's grip
>You let her go, and she lands on the ground with a soft clop
>She turns to you
>"You're real lucky you're such good friends with Lyra, or else you'd be cut off after pulling shenanigans like that"
"You wouldn't dare. You gotta sell to someone, and you know I'm your top customer."
>Bon Bon sits, crosses her hooves, and makes that adorable little scrunch she does when she knows she's been beat
>Your finger inches towards her snout again, but a quick chomp of her teeth in the space where your finger is about to be reminds you why that's not a good idea
>You feel the newspaper smack against the back of your head
"Hey, what was that one for?"
>"That was because I wanted to, you dumb smelly ape"
>She smiles as she walks past you, heading towards the couch
>"Now, you obviously got something good. No way you'd kick our door down before Bonnie's even finished her batch if you didn't."
>Lyra wiggles her butt before jumping up, plopping herself down on the cushions
>You sit down beside her
>Lyra flashes you that smile again
>"So, spill"

----

Anonymous 10/20/19(Sun)11:41:55
>Tfw Lye will never try eating seafood to feel closer to her omnivore friend.
>She'll never get snibbed because she doesn't know what she's doing.
>She'll never tell you how she got that bandaged hoof because she's embarrassed she couldn't even "hunt down" a slow moving lobster.
>You'll never tickle the info out of her anyways, and let her know it was really sweet of her.
>You'll never get angry and boil a few lobsters alive for what they did.
>You'll never serve it to her with some lemon butter sauce.
>She'll never admit it wasn't too bad, but she'll stick to flowers and hay and leave that stuff to somepony who knows what he's doing.

----

Anonymous 10/26/19(Sat)09:32:49 No.34510092
>more racist lyra
Amethyst becoming the organizer of the town while being a haughty racist sounds kek worthy. She's a talented organizer and the town needs her, or is stuck with her, but she's always pestering everyone or throwing out quips.

I was curious and apparently Amethyst and Lyra have basically no fucking art together. Pic was pretty much all I found it's pretty cute. I can't say I'm too surprised, I probably noticed this ages ago, but I'm still disappointed.

Anonymous 10/26/19(Sat)10:13:30 No.34510209
>>34510092
>this is why they were so quick to replace her with Twilight.
>Twilight was the only unicorn that isn't ignorant because she has a higher degree of education and she studies directly under the princess whom has characteristics of all three tribes.

Anonymous 10/26/19(Sat)11:02:51 No.34510403
>>34510209
>Twilight wasn't racist because she sympathized with mud horses or feather brains
>Twilight just hated everyone equally

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Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)14:40:44 No.34516706
>It's Nightmare Night, baby. Horse Halloween is just as awesome as the real thing.
>It's time to spook some pones.
>You crouch outside Lyra's door, waiting for her to come out.
>She's cute when she's spooked.
>You hear hoofsteps from inside. These ponies just can't outsneak a human.
>It's hard not to start laughing already, you can't stand the tension.
>Damn, she's sure taking her time, you hear her just walking back and forth in there.
"Boo!"
>JESUS HORSEFUCKING CHRIST that came from behind you.
>You leap into the air, yelling.
>You turn around and there is the lil shid herself, rolling on the ground laughing.
>The sound is a bit muffled, she's wrapped up tight in a mummy costume, but you know that laughter.
>And honestly, you're impressed.
>She got you good. You start laughing along with her.
>She suddenly stops and shushes you.
"Shh! You hear that? Bon Bon's coming out any second now."
>You both get into position.

----

Anonymous 10/30/19(Wed)18:10:50 No.34533608
>"I bet you wouldn't win a staring contest against Lyra!"
>You had no idea who Lyra was, but whatever
>No doubt a common pony like everyone else in this colourful world
"50 bits says I totally would!"
>Little did you know that this Lyra was really into aliens and the idea of there being other worlds
>So when the time came and you finally looked into your opponent's eyes, something told you that you would be totally fucked

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Anonymous 11/10/19(Sun)21:45:52 No.34590594
>You're taking a nice trot through the park.
>With a long sigh, your feathers ruffle up as you stop to smell the roses.
>Sunny skies, the birds are frolicking, the deer are singing and all that jazz.
>It's rare you seem to catch a break around here.
>Between Rarity knocking on your door just to hear hot takes from other ponies, and some disaster plaguing the country side, it's been-
>...
>What was that?
>You whinny and your wings reflectively shoot out as whatever hit you, nails you in the face this time.
>B-bread crumbs?
"Hey, it's all over my coat!"
>You're ears turn towards foal-like laughter.
>"Do it again!"
>You turn towards the noise just in time to avoid another claw-full of crumbs.
>Ohh no.
>Lyra and her Tartarus birthed daemon.
>She herself was half laying in the humans lap, legs dangling off the bench.
>The human himself was chucking, a claw of his rustling her mane.
>Weren't these two usually asleep until noon?
>You were pretty sure.
>Most of Ponyville became morning ponies because of these two.

>The town even sent a petition to Celestia herself to raise the sun an hour earlier.
>half a loaf of bread socks you in the face, pulling you from your thoughts.
>"You can thank me later bird horsie." The human grins, seeming incredibly pleased with himself.
>Ohh, filly. You're in for it.
>You're going to buck him back to wherever he came from.
>Before you can tackle them and give them a well-deserved pummeling, Bon-Bon comes a runnin'
>Ohh here we go.
>"Strawberry, Don't. I'm so sorry it's my fault. I left them alone for ten minutes."
"Don't try to defend these sun scorn ponies again, Bon-Bon."
>"I'll talk to them-"
>Your feathers ruffle again.
"Go chew a thunder cloud. There's being ignorant and there's throwing bread at pegasi at six in the morning."
>She recoils slightly at the curse but doesn't budge.
>She turns to smile at the duo before learning in with a hushed whisper, "Trust me, I don't think they're bright enough to know they're being offensive. I should have known that getting them up early to feed birds was a bad idea."
>That's... Road apples, if you argue with that you're admitting they might actually be thinking creatures.
>Bahh, you could get them later. Bon-Bon can't protect them forever.
>Storm riding Canterlot ponies.
>Feather pluckin’ Human.
"Fine, you two better watch yourselves. Also, I'm taking this " You say, picking up the half loaf of bread at your hooves, before flying off.
>You snort as the two seem to guffaw even louder.

----

 Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)19:42:53 No.34703660
>"'Non, the paint on the park bench was wet again! You're going to have to wash my rump with those weird graspers of yours again."

 Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)23:17:01 No.34704367
"They painted the bench 8 times in the same week?"

 Anonymous 12/05/19(Thu)23:53:16 No.34704516
well yeah, some pony keeps sitting on it!

 Anonymous 12/07/19(Sat)08:42:03 No.34709925
"Somepony, huhh?"
>"Uhh-huhh. Ponies can be really careless, 'Non."
>Lips pursed, you squat right in front of her and look her in the eyes.
>Sure enough the mare's ears flick this way and that, and her tail lashes like she's got flies on her ass.
>Gone were the days where she'd get scared to shit when you reached your hand out to her.
>Ever since that fateful day where you grabbed her by the hips to pull her out of a carrot barrel she'd gotten stuck in.
>Normally, ponies whinny and back up, or do that pseudo buck and trot a few meters away from you.
>And as if nothing happened, they trot back to you and continue talking.
>Ponies sure are silly.
>Lyra's snoot scrunches as you lean forward, eyes scrutinizing every whisker on her muzzle.
>She could ask you to do it like a normal person.
>As normal as asking you to scratch and pet her rump is, at least.
>Even in horse land, they seem to be content with scratching themselves against rough objects.
>If they're a fancy unicorn, they have backscritchers, patented by you.
>Earthponies will even roll in the dirt or grass and waggle around for a second.
>Still horse law-morality-whatever dictates you let her commit more property damage until she gets caught and is in bigger trouble.
>For the sake of learning some kind of virtue on honesty.
>Something like that.

>You've learned not to fight horse friendship shenanigans it at this point and do as the Romans do.
"Fine, lemmie run a bath, you smelly horse."
>Lyra beams up at you, practically jumping into your arms.
>"Thank's 'Non! I can always count on you!"
>She goes ahead an nuzzles you and licks you liberally behind your ear and upper neck, doing well to work a grimace out of you.
This horse knows you don't like that.
>The little shit.
>You plop her in the tub and run the water, letting it hit your wrist for the right-
>Ohh damn it, your arm is covered in paint.
>Did she drag her ass over the whole bench this time?
>Luckily, you've been able to streamline the process.
>You trek over to the kitchen and start mixing equal parts water and vinegar, before grabbing your spare comb while you're at it.
>Walking back in, you spot her lapping up some of the bath water.
>...
>Yep.
>Still very silly.
>Sitting at the edge of the tub, Lyra starts to look very pleased with herself as if she'd gotten away with murder.
>You pour a tiny bit of the mixture onto her flank while working it into her fur with your other hand.

>Her body posture becomes a complete flip from earlier.
>Completely relaxed with her ears lazily drifting back, a sparse nicker slipping in between light squeaks, where you really dig your fingers into her dense winter coat.
>She lets out a disappointed sigh when you stop, but you need to let it soak.
>You take the time rub some into your own arm, and clean it in the sink while hers sets in.
"You owe me some more apple cider vinegar, you know. This stuff doesn't grow on trees- Err, so to speak."
>With any luck, that alone would discourage her from... whatever mental rodeo is bouncing around in her head.
>"Sorry, I'll bring some next ti- I mean- tomorrow. I'll come by with some tomorrow."
"...Thanks, Lye."