Stalkyyy

5-1

Jan 18th, 2016
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  1. you fail to see the point
  2. the entirety of snow city is a test
  3. if you can't deal with it you can't handle the palace or anything on a loop
  4. the snowbots have the sanics out to make sure you know how to dodge and aim like a trained guerilla assassin straight from the death fuck piss jungle where even the snakes carry gats
  5. the gunwolves exist to make sure you understand how to use cover correctly. you need to ram your dick in balls deep into the nearest wall and never even consider removing it until an opening presents itself and when it does you pull out like a desperate man with no protection and a bank account with less than six figures and prepare to unload like your life depends on it. that, or it ensures you've played enough shmups in your life so that you can handle a shitton of bullets in every direction and know just how and when to reflect them with melee.
  6. hell, it makes sure you know to carry melee. the gun tanks exist to make sure you realize that you will not survive with a shitty gun with low dps. you should not be packing a damn peashooter bu the time 5-1 pops up on your screen. gold gun tanks help you understand that if there is a god he does not love you and that you should really take care of yourself cause absolutely nobody else on this shitting planet will.
  7.  
  8. and then lil hunter teaches you that life is not fair, you aren't entitled to a victory, and that you need to be patient and understand that from there on out the game will pull out all the stops to fuck you in the ass with a rough wooden unsanded pole leaving a billion splinters in your rectum. the palace doesn't fuck around. the lab is easy. if you can't handle the lab you got lucky in the snow city because the lab is easy. in fact it's intentionally easy, i'm absolutely sure of that. it's designed to make you get lazy because the palace is a godless death snare that's so equipped to fuck you over that that's all you think about when you enter.
  9. what i'm saying is do better
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