Childhood Friend

>Your parents die in a tragic Zamboni accident when you're a small child.
>You're taken in by your Elf aunt.
>She lives is a different part of the country so you don't know her very well.
>She's pretty well off too, so everything in her house is clean and expensive looking.
>You can't get comfortable, always feel like a guest.
>Your Aunt tries to make you feel welcome but she's awkward as fuck so it just makes things worse.
>School is the same.
>You've never been quick to make friends.
>You had to transfer in the middle of the year to keep from being held back a year. Everybody already knows each other so you feel like an outsider.
>Your aunt is always worried about you, more so as time goes on.
>It makes you uncomfortable so you try to pretend everything is fine.
>One day she tells you she'll be watching a friend's kid tomorrow.
>She says this while giving you that concerned look with her ears wiggling all over the place.
>Christ. You recognize the old 'my son has no friends, make your son hang out with him!' trick.
>Now you feel pathetic.
>You don't say anything of course; she's just trying to help. This is going to be torture.
>When you get home the next day your aunt is nowhere to be seen.
>There is, however, a very fidgety catgirl sitting on the couch. About the same age as you, 4th or 5th grade it looks like.
>When she sees you she jumps to her feet, trips on the carpet, and lands on her face.
>Then she bounces back up so quickly it's like she's trying to pretend she never slipped.
>Her voice comes out in an erratic half-shout, half-whisper. "Are you Anon!? I'm Janeit's NIcetomeetYOU!?"
>Damn, girl. Calm down.
>You introduce yourself and wait for her to stop hyperventilating before you ask where your aunt is.
>"L, L-Lauren said she, um, she went out. Somewhere. She said she'd be back in a few hours, or something?"
>Woooow. Aunt Lauren isn't even trying to be subtle here. Would you normally agree to 'watch' someone's kid just to leave said kid alone in your house?
>She probably doesn't even realize how obvious this is. Adults always assume kids are dumb.
>Then again, there is some good news here. This is a much less annoying variation of the 'my son has no friends' plan.
>You inspect the catgirl. She blushes and twitches nervously under your gaze. Her eyes shy away from yours and she straightens her clothes unnecessarily.
>It's the 'our kids are both losers so lets make them hang out' plan.
>You ask Jane if she wants to play Matango Madness on your X-station.
>She practically falls over herself agreeing.
>Then she literally falls over herself agreeing, and manages to bite her tongue hand enough to draw blood in the process.
>As you expected she is pretty bad a video games. You intentionally picked a game where she could have fun even without being very skilled though.
>After a while she gets into it and loosens up a bit.
>You both laugh your asses off when she manages to herd a huge group of Japanese tourists into the matango pit.
>You have a surprisingly good time, and agree without reluctance when she timidly asks if you might want to hang out again some time.

>Catgirl Jane actually turns out to be a pretty top tier bro once you get past her spastic, nervous exterior. And eccentric, neurotic interior.
>She has surprisingly great taste in everything; music, movies, TV, books, comics, even random stuff like cars and sports teams.
>She introduces you to some obscure bands and novels you've never heard of and they all turn out to be great.
>She's terrible at video games but she never complains and she learns quickly.
>Once you help her get into RPGs and MMOs she ends up as your pocket healer with you playing tank.
>The two of you spend hours making fun of the retarded dps in private chat while you run group dungeons.
>Aunt Lauren always leaves when Jane is over, so you can have fun without her hovering around. You start feeling guilty about that; it's like you're chasing her out of her own house.
>She says it's fine though - she has fun herself, and kids need time to bond.
>Jane ends up really attached to you.
>At one point you mention that she's the only friend you've made in this town.
>"Really? Me too."
>"Eh? Aren't you from here?"
>"Ah? Oh...eheheh, well...to be honest, your the first friend I've ever had."
>You kind of guessed that already, you were trying to play oblivious so she didn't have to admit it.
>"It's kind of surprising at my age, right?"
>No, with her personality, it's not surprising at all.
>"I was home-schooled so I've never been very good at that kind of thing."
>Yes, it's very clear she isn't good at that sort of thing. She has the social skills of a rock.
>What you say out loud is, "Well, you've got a friend now, right? The first one is always the hardest. I'm sure you can make more once you get used to it."
>She gives a weak laugh. "I think it might be too late for me. What about you, Anon? Have you made any friends at school?"
>You change the subject. "Oh hey, I forgot to tell you, I got the new Metal Slime game. Want to try it?"
>She gives you a flat look to let you know she isn't falling for it but she doesn't press.

>You only have one problem in your friendship with Jane; she's never tried to rape you.
>That should be a good thing.
>You don't really think anything of it at first.
>But around the time you start high school it occurs to you that it's odd she's never gone for the D.
>That's kind of what monstergirls do, right? That might not be a very politically correct statement, but it's true.
>You start to worry that she might already have a boyfriend.
>Then you realize that's unlikely to the point of absurdity,
>She probably values your friendship too much to risk losing it like that.
>That's nice, but also a little annoying since you're a horny teenager and you would kind of like to fuck your catgirl childhood friend.
>Of course, you can't let her know that, since she'll think your a pervert and start avoiding you.
>You could just ask her to date you, but if she says no shit will get really awkward and you still don't have any other friends so that would suck.
>Really, this whole situation would be resolved if she would just fucking jump you already.
>What is up with this new generation? What are we coming to when a guy has to walk around without a shirt on when it's really fucking cold out just to encourage his childhood friend to snag his sausage, and then she doesn't even bite the bait!?
>Eventually you get tired of waiting and steel your resolve. You're just going to have to sit her down, and in the most indirect, beta way possible, ask her out.
>When she comes over one afternoon, you spring your trap; a Bioware RPG with romance options!
>You use a discussion of follower romance to probe and drop hint after hint.
>All of which she magnificently misses.
>You decide to be a little more bold.
>"So...what about you? Who would you go after?"
>"Um, Alistair I guess?"
>"No no, we already went over that. I mean like in real life."
>"Oh...uh...ahaha, I never really thoUGHT about it!?"
>Uwah~
>"You've never thought about it at all? Not even a little bit?"
>"Eh, well..I don't really know about things like that..." she mutters. Suddenly her eyes focus sharply on you and she asks intently, "What about you, Anon? Are you dating anyone? Are you seeing any of the girls as school? Not all girls are as nice as they seem, you know? You've gotta be careful."
>"Nah. You gotta be social to get a date, right?"
>"Hmm..." You expected her to be relieved or something but instead she just frowns off into space like she's thinking about something.
>You decide it's time for your final gambit; 'ask her out in a way you can play off as a joke or idle chatter if it doesn't seem like she'll say yes'!
>"So...you ever think about dating me? You must have at least once or twice, right? I might let you if you ask nicely, you know?" You try to put that last bit in a boastful tone and laugh a little at the end. The ball is in her court now.
>She snaps out of her pondering and stares at you.
>For an uncomfortably long time she stares at you with absolutely no expression, then a tiny noise escapes from her mouth. "Eh?"
>Her face immediately flushes the deepest possible shade of crimson. She's so red it looks like she's about to catch on fire.
>"You..y-y-y-yoU WANTTODATEME!?"
>She tries to stand up at the end of that and kicks the foot of your bed full force with her bare feet.
>She falls on her ass, grabbing her badly stubbed toes but staring at you, still red as a lobster, now with tears of pain in her eyes,
>Her mouth opens and closes like a goldfish and muted little huffs of half-formed words come out.
>"..H..!" "...ts...uuu.." "...!"
>"Hey, calm down, you're turning purple..."
>"....!!..!"
>"Jane?"

>It takes about 15 minutes for her to fully recover from her blackout.
>She's sitting on the edge of your bed, breathing into a paper bag.
>You thought about saying it was just a joke to calm her down, but after her reaction you aren't sure that's a good idea.
>Once Jane's breathing returns to normal she holds the bag in front of her face so it covers most of it, and peeks over it while talking to you.
>"Um, I thought about it and I suppose it would be alright for me to date you, t-to make sure you don't fall in with the wrong sort of women."
>"Okay. So, you're my girlfriend now?"
>The bag starts puffing in and out again with Jane's breath. "Just for reference," she says though the paper, "what exactly does dating include?"
>"Well...pretty much the same stuff we do now, now that I think about it. Just with romance stuff added in."
>"Romance stuff?"
>"You know...like, kissing, or hugging, or..sexing...Jane, breathe. Breathe normally, in and out."
>"...TH...!"

>Dating does not go as you expect.
>That's an understatement.
>For about a week nothing changes. Jane says she's doing research and asks you to be patient.
>Then you come home on Friday.
>Your aunt is nowhere to be seen, as usual.
>When you walk into the living room you find Jane kneeling in a comically stuff and formal posture, wearing nothing but the necklace she always wears, and the most lewd, frilly underwear you've ever seen.
>In front of her stretches a huge foam mattress covered in silk sheets.
>On the floor around it is piled a huge collection of sex paraphernalia, some of which you can't even guess the purpose of.
>"A-Anon," Jane's face is red and her eyes are swirling. "The things I read said proper, healthy s-sexual relations are important to the development and well-being of young men your age. I, um, I will fulfill your needs in...you...w-wouldyou liketo takea showerfirst? O-or-"
>The beast is unleashed and rational thought fails you.
>You spend the better part of the next seven hours thoroughly inseminating every hole you can get your dick into.
>At the end of it you collapse exhausted.
>Jane is lying snuggled against your side, rambling incoherently under her breath. You're fairly certain she's giving a word for word recitation of the contents of a technical manual for an air conditioning unit.
>You have no idea why. She probably saw one in your aunt's office, she designs the things.
>"Hey, Jane, your necklace is caught in your hair."
>She babbles on and you sigh.
>You reach down and start untangling it for her.
>She suddenly comes back to her senses. "Anon? Wait, Anon!? Dont-!"
>As soon as you get the clasp undone the hair in your hands lightens by a shade and gains volume.
>The soft curves pressed into your body also gain a bit of volume.
>You look down.
>"Aunt Lauren?"