A Treatise on Kiara Glasco

A Treatise on Kiara Glasco

	Glasco... unusual name. Unusual face. Sort of like a drunken claymation experiment gone horribly wrong.
Kiara Glasco, if you were not previously aware, is an actress. A very poor one, in this author's opinion (then again, most actresses that have treatises published about them usually are). She is most infamous for two different projects, both of which she contributed nothing of value towards: BBC America's "Copper" TV series, and a Hallmark movie "Christmas Magic".
	This author will start by covering the latter. Hallmark is, first and foremost, a greeting card company, but they have been ignorant and/or stupid enough to dip their foot into the pool of showbusiness and have been making and distributing poor quality direct-to-video or cable films for years.
	"Christmas Magic", in this author's opinion, lost all its magic when Kiara Glasco was hired to star in it. She brings little to the movie other than being a typical pre-tween brat with no sense or maturity, bouncing around the screen as if she was just spoon-fed the contents of a box of Pixie Stix, or caffeine. For a first-time movie actress, how she wasn't fired within hours is beyond this author's comprehension.
	"Copper" is an excellent series, if you love cops and robbers-type drama coupled with history. However, it has one weak link, that being the aforementioned Kiara Glasco. She portrays a poor starvin' young wean who will, if someone gives her some food, offer to play their willy banjo in return (and a whole lot more). Thankfully, the first time she offers, the lead character of this series turns her down. This author does not blame them, as Kiara's character's face (and, by extension, Kiara's own face) is homely beyond belief.
	Which brings us to a small aside on Glasco's looks. If you find a photo of her around the time she starred in "Copper", you will notice that she appears to have been thrashed with the ugly stick. And by thrashed, this author means 'beaten beyond all hope of recovery'. There is nothing, repeat, NOTHING, even remotely attractive about Glasco. You would have to drink several kegs of overproof rum in order to get up the courage to date her in real life.
	As for what this wench is probably like off-screen, this author believes her entire family made a mistake by signing her with a talent agent, as Glasco is one of the worst child actresses this author has seen on-screen. -El Grande Cabron