Haaaaaaaappy Canada Day Noobs! So you want to be Canadian? Maybe,
errr, hypothectically, your going to canada to visit your longlost
relative goerge.
WELL HERE IN JOLLY OL' BRI-CANADA, THINGS ARE A TAD DIFFERENT
FROM THOSE GOOD OL' PLACES LIKE BRITA- I MEAN AMERICA, JAPAN,
KOREA, CHINA(especially china NOOBS.) and uhh....uhhh...AUSTRALIA!

The first thing your going to need to know when traveling to canada is
HOW TO SPEAK FRENCH. Don't worry. It's easy. So you want to say, How
are you in french, yes? It's SIMPLE! The french version is Howette arette
youette. So obvious.
That other stuff like como ca va..bonjour..salut..THATS ALL JUNK. NOT
REAL FRENCH. GOTTA LEARN THE REAL DEAL.

The second thing your goin' to need to go to canada is OUR NATIONAL
SYMBOLS. Yeah. We, too, have lives.
The first canadian symbol is a moose..errr..caribou. Yeah. I think. MAYBE.
Trust me, Kid, It's a moose.
Maybe.
The second wonderful canadian symbol is a loon.
" WTF IS A LOON!!!11"
A loon is a goose. Geese? GOOSE.
AND THE THIRD IS A POLAR BEAR. BITEBITE.
And..I think thats it..
Wait, No. The fourth is a beaver. nomnom.

Another thing your going to need is MONEY. $$$$
Since our friends the american $^&tards have such BORING money, we,
the wonderful canadians, have made beautiful COLOURFUL money.
The 20 dollar bill is GREENNN(Colourful..) the 10 dollar bill is..uhhh..
Purple. The Five Dollar bill is blue!
THEIR THE COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW. SORTA.

Wait. We're learning about Canada. Where is Canada? Get out your
map, children.
Look at the us(its on the west side of the map. Middle of the upper large
block of green. Yeah.)
Now look at the top of the upper block of green. TADA. CANADA. All of
that luscious..green..OILY..NUCLEAR goodness.

In Canada we have have the same stores as America. Except the largest
store we have is about the size of your finger. Yeah.

LOOK AT THE GROUND. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
..
Okay. Go outside. Go to a rural forest. Go in Fall. NOW what do you
see? A maple leaf! Yes! That's our national..err..leaf of Canada. It's not
a tabacco leaf..a vanilla leaf..an orange leaf..its a maple leaf. AND IT IS
NOT A DRAWING PAD.

And now you know EVERYTHING you need to know about Canada! Congratulations.
Have fun in our beautiful native home OF OIL!