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- 1
- 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:33,324
- DNA, your natural ability,
- the study of your craft,
- 2
- 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,746
- a development of
- and devotion to an aesthetic philosophy.
- 3
- 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,247
- Balls.
- 4
- 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,793
- Naked desire for fame, love, adoration,
- 5
- 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,795
- attention, women,
- 6
- 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,131
- sex, a buck.
- 7
- 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,342
- Then, if you want to take it
- all the way out to the end of the night,
- 8
- 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:54,471
- you will need a furious fire
- in your belly
- 9
- 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,639
- that just don't quit burning.
- 10
- 00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:01,478
- These are some of the elements
- that will come in handy
- 11
- 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,064
- should you come face-to-face
- 12
- 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:07,317
- with 80,000 screaming rock 'n' roll fans.
- 13
- 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:13,073
- Because these are fans who are waiting
- for you to pull something out of your hat,
- 14
- 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:16,493
- out of thin air,
- something out of this world.
- 15
- 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,954
- Something that, before the faithful
- were gathered here today,
- 16
- 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,998
- was just a song-fueled rumor.
- 17
- 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,793
- Now, I come from a boardwalk town
- 18
- 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,546
- where everything is tinged
- with just a bit of fraud.
- 19
- 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,552
- So am I.
- 20
- 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,765
- In 1972,
- I wasn't any race-car-driving rebel.
- 21
- 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,558
- I wasn't any corner street punk.
- 22
- 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,020
- I was a guitar player
- on the streets of Asbury Park.
- 23
- 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,941
- But I held four clean aces.
- 24
- 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:52,195
- I had youth, I had a decade
- of hard-core bar band experience
- 25
- 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,446
- already behind me.
- 26
- 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,907
- I had a great group of musicians
- and friends
- 27
- 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,993
- who really knew my playing style,
- and I had a magic trick.
- 28
- 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,872
- Now I'm here tonight
- to provide proof of life
- 29
- 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,501
- to that ever-elusive,
- never completely believable,
- 30
- 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,045
- particularly these days, us.
- 31
- 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,090
- That's my magic trick.
- 32
- 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,259
- And like all good magic tricks,
- 33
- 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,010
- it begins with a setup.
- 34
- 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:05,703
- Now, I've never held an honest job
- in my entire life.
- 35
- 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,457
- I've never done any hard labor.
- 36
- 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,377
- I've never worked nine to five.
- 37
- 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,339
- I've never worked five days a week
- until right now.
- 38
- 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,140
- I don't like it.
- 39
- 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:31,396
- I've never seen the inside of a factory,
- and yet, it's all I've ever written about.
- 40
- 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,732
- Standing before you is a man
- 41
- 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:38,403
- who has become wildly
- and absurdly successful
- 42
- 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,532
- writing about something
- of which he has had...
- 43
- 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,160
- absolutely no personal experience.
- 44
- 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,623
- I-- I made it all up.
- 45
- 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,918
- That's how good I am.
- 46
- 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,635
- Now, how?
- 47
- 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:07,181
- I'm sure you're wondering,
- how did this great miracle come to pass?
- 48
- 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,058
- Well...
- 49
- 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,311
- in the beginning...
- 50
- 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:15,064
- there was a great darkness
- upon the waters.
- 51
- 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:19,402
- As a child, there was Christmas,
- your birthday, summer vacation,
- 52
- 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:23,614
- but the rest of life was a lifeless,
- sucking black hole.
- 53
- 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:29,037
- A lifeless, sucking black hole
- of homework, church,
- 54
- 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,206
- school, homework, church,
- 55
- 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,752
- school, homework, church,
- 56
- 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,379
- school, green beans,
- 57
- 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:42,258
- green beans, fucking green beans.
- 58
- 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:49,515
- But then,
- in a blinding flash of sanctified light,
- 59
- 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:53,102
- a human being and just a kid,
- 60
- 00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,772
- just a kid from the southern sticks.
- 61
- 00:05:56,522 --> 00:06:01,444
- But, a... new kind of man.
- And he split the world in two.
- 62
- 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:02,945
- And suddenly...
- 63
- 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,615
- a new world existed.
- 64
- 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,453
- The one below your belt.
- 65
- 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:17,835
- And...
- 66
- 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,587
- above your heart.
- 67
- 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,799
- On a Sunday night in 1956,
- 68
- 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,344
- at 39 1/2 Institute Street,
- into a cold-water flat
- 69
- 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,763
- and into the mind of a seven-year-old kid.
- 70
- 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:32,100
- The revolution had been televised!
- 71
- 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,143
- Right under the noses
- 72
- 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,145
- of the powers that be!
- 73
- 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,774
- Who, if they'd have known
- what was actually happening
- 74
- 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:41,442
- and the great changes...
- 75
- 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,195
- the changes that were about to come,
- 76
- 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,615
- they would have shut this shit down.
- 77
- 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,036
- Or more likely signed it up real quick.
- 78
- 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:57,250
- Because we, the unwashed,
- the invisible, the powerless, the kids,
- 79
- 00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,002
- would want more.
- 80
- 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,381
- Now more life...
- 81
- 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:07,343
- more love and more sex
- and more hope...
- 82
- 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,095
- and more truth...
- 83
- 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,013
- and more power.
- 84
- 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,474
- And more soul.
- 85
- 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:17,186
- And most of all, more rock 'n' roll.
- 86
- 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:27,572
- So I sat with my mom,
- my little seven-year-old mind on fire,
- 87
- 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:31,451
- staring into a blue tube as fun happened.
- 88
- 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,620
- Fun, the real kind.
- 89
- 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,498
- The joyful, life-affirming, hip-shaking,
- 90
- 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,584
- ass-quaking, guitar-playing,
- 91
- 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:44,422
- mind- and heart-changing,
- race-challenging, soul-lifting bliss
- 92
- 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,466
- of a freer existence.
- 93
- 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:53,806
- A freer existence exploded
- into unsuspecting homes
- 94
- 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,725
- all across America.
- 95
- 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,894
- On a regular Sunday night.
- 96
- 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,565
- The world had fucking changed.
- 97
- 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,067
- In an instant.
- 98
- 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:10,364
- In a sweating, wet orgasm of fun.
- 99
- 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,118
- And all you needed to do
- 100
- 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,162
- to get a taste of it...
- 101
- 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,624
- was to risk being your true self.
- 102
- 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,255
- Because a rock 'n' roll genie
- had been let out of the bottle
- 103
- 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,716
- and he told us that if you were...
- 104
- 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:36,474
- ...my fellow citizens,
- these feelings, these freedoms,
- 105
- 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,351
- this fun...
- 106
- 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,062
- was your birthright.
- 107
- 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:45,274
- I listened, I believed,
- and I heard a mighty call
- 108
- 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,943
- to action.
- 109
- 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,780
- So I studied my new hero.
- 110
- 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:55,117
- I know today he's got the same
- two arms, two legs, two eyes that I got.
- 111
- 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:58,079
- Yes, he's a human Adonis.
- 112
- 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,373
- And I'm...
- 113
- 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,757
- ...pathetically creepy.
- 114
- 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,844
- But I'll figure that part out, all right?
- 115
- 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,180
- The one thing he had
- that I didn't have was strapped
- 116
- 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,557
- around his waist.
- 117
- 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,350
- It was the guitar!
- 118
- 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,770
- The guitar,
- or as my father had christened it,
- 119
- 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,730
- "that fucking guitar."
- 120
- 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,693
- But that fucking guitar was the key!
- 121
- 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,862
- It was the sword in the stone!
- 122
- 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,575
- It was the staff of righteousness!
- 123
- 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:39,579
- And they sell 'em
- at Western Auto downtown
- 124
- 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,998
- for 25 dollars!
- 125
- 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,544
- So I begged and I pleaded with my mother
- 126
- 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:49,338
- just to rent me,
- 'cause we couldn't afford to buy,
- 127
- 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,717
- a guitar from Mike Diehl's Music School
- on South Street.
- 128
- 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,012
- One Saturday afternoon,
- I brought it home.
- 129
- 00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:00,099
- And I sat on the living room couch,
- 130
- 00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:04,186
- and I unlatched its full alligator case,
- 131
- 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,065
- and I slowly opened it up,
- 132
- 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,862
- and up from the green velvet lining...
- 133
- 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,656
- came the sweet smell...
- 134
- 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,952
- of a cherry wood cocktail of power,
- 135
- 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,164
- pleasure, salvation,
- 136
- 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,959
- dreams, and dreams and dreams.
- 137
- 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:31,213
- So I took lessons, dedicatedly.
- 138
- 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,134
- I took lessons for two solid weeks...
- 139
- 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,681
- and I quit.
- 140
- 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,809
- It was too fucking hard.
- 141
- 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,606
- Learning the guitar,
- not only was it fucking hard,
- 142
- 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,442
- but the lessons were boring!
- 143
- 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:55,529
- Just give me the three magic chords,
- please!
- 144
- 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,531
- And let me twist...
- 145
- 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,367
- and shout!
- 146
- 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,955
- But I was a seven-year-old kid
- and my hands barely fit around the neck
- 147
- 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,834
- and I couldn't waste my mother's
- hard-earned cash week after week,
- 148
- 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:13,756
- so very shortly, I knew.
- That back it was gonna have to go.
- 149
- 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,969
- But the morning before I returned it,
- I strapped it on one more time.
- 150
- 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,225
- I took it out into the backyard
- where the neighborhood kids were,
- 151
- 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,770
- and I put on my first show.
- 152
- 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,690
- Whoo!
- 153
- 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,859
- I slapped it, I shook it, I shouted,
- 154
- 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,903
- I sang voodoo nonsense.
- 155
- 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,155
- I burned a hole in the grass,
- 156
- 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,325
- I shook my little seven-year-old ass.
- 157
- 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:48,374
- Most importantly, I posed with it!
- 158
- 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:50,876
- That's the shit!
- 159
- 00:11:55,172 --> 00:12:00,261
- I danced with it,
- I did everything but play it.
- 160
- 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,972
- I couldn't do that.
- 161
- 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,226
- I sucked so bad and the kids laughed
- and laughed and laughed
- 162
- 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:08,644
- at my silly ass.
- 163
- 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,731
- And we brought it back that afternoon.
- 164
- 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,026
- But riding back home
- with my mom in the car...
- 165
- 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,988
- I sat in the backseat and I was quiet.
- 166
- 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:20,823
- I was thinking...
- 167
- 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,578
- I was a little disappointed in myself.
- 168
- 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,415
- But somewhere inside...
- 169
- 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,586
- somewhere inside,
- I knew that for a moment,
- 170
- 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,338
- just a moment,
- 171
- 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,884
- in front of those kids in that backyard...
- 172
- 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,764
- Mm... I smelled blood.
- 173
- 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,330
- And it was bye-bye, New Jersey,
- 174
- 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:57,211
- I'm gonna be airborne!
- 175
- 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,023
- Now, everybody...
- 176
- 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,402
- everybody has a love-hate relationship
- with their hometown.
- 177
- 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,322
- It's just built into the equation
- of growing up.
- 178
- 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,283
- If you take me.
- 179
- 00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:29,994
- I'm Mr. Born to Run.
- 180
- 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,081
- I'm Mr. Thunder fucking Road.
- 181
- 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,668
- I was born...
- 182
- 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,754
- to run, not to stay.
- 183
- 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,425
- My home, New Jersey...
- 184
- 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,181
- it's a death trap.
- 185
- 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,564
- It's a suicide rap.
- 186
- 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,151
- Listen to the lyrics, all right?
- 187
- 00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:05,029
- I gotta get out, I gotta hit the highway,
- 188
- 00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:09,033
- I'm a road running man,
- I got the white line fever in my veins.
- 189
- 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,620
- I am gonna bring my girl
- and I have had enough
- 190
- 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,789
- of the shit that this place dishes out.
- 191
- 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,210
- I am gonna run, run, run, and I'm...
- 192
- 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,088
- well, I'm never coming back.
- 193
- 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,634
- I currently live ten minutes
- from my hometown.
- 194
- 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,312
- But, uh... "Born to Come Back" or, uh...
- 195
- 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:41,440
- Who would have bought that shit?
- 196
- 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:42,900
- Nobody.
- 197
- 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,402
- Nobody, nobody.
- 198
- 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,953
- In our front yard,
- only a few feet from our porch
- 199
- 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,205
- stood the grandest tree in town.
- 200
- 00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:00,292
- It was a towering,
- beautiful copper beech tree.
- 201
- 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:04,755
- And on sunny days,
- I lived under its branches.
- 202
- 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:09,760
- Its roots were a fort for my soldiers
- and a corral for my horses.
- 203
- 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,846
- And I was the first on my block
- 204
- 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,308
- to climb high into its upper reaches,
- 205
- 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,478
- leaving behind a world that...
- 206
- 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,273
- I didn't care for much already.
- 207
- 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,736
- And up near the top,
- I had the wind in my face
- 208
- 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,947
- and I had all the dreaming room
- 209
- 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,074
- that you could want.
- 210
- 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,036
- On slow summer nights,
- I'd sit beneath its arms
- 211
- 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,622
- with my pals like the cavalry at dusk,
- 212
- 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,750
- just listening and listening...
- 213
- 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:45,212
- for the evening bells
- of the ice cream man,
- 214
- 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,425
- and my grandmother's voice
- calling me in to bed.
- 215
- 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,430
- I lived on Randolph Street
- with my sister, Virginia,
- 216
- 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,057
- she was a year younger than me,
- 217
- 00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:00,602
- my parents, Adele and Douglas,
- my grandparents, Fred and Alice,
- 218
- 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,981
- and my trusty dog Saddle.
- 219
- 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:09,403
- We lived spitting distance
- from the Catholic Church,
- 220
- 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,822
- the priest's rectory, the nuns' convent,
- 221
- 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,950
- the St. Rose of Lima Grammar School,
- all of it
- 222
- 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,244
- just a football's toss away,
- 223
- 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,913
- across a field of wild grass.
- 224
- 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:24,168
- I literally grew up surrounded by God.
- 225
- 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,464
- Surrounded by God...
- 226
- 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,550
- and my relatives.
- 227
- 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:35,471
- 'Cause we had cousins
- and aunts and uncles
- 228
- 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,306
- and grandmas and grandpas
- 229
- 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,683
- and great-grandmas and great-grandpas,
- 230
- 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:43,520
- all of us were jammed
- into five little houses
- 231
- 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,272
- on two adjoining streets.
- 232
- 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:49,610
- And when the church bells rang,
- the whole clan would hustle up the street
- 233
- 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:54,865
- to stand witness to every wedding
- and every funeral
- 234
- 00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:57,576
- that arrived like a state occasion
- 235
- 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,745
- in our little neighborhood.
- 236
- 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,958
- My sister and I, we'd pick up
- the thrown rice from the weddings,
- 237
- 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:09,713
- pack it away in small brown paper bags
- and take it home and save it,
- 238
- 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,717
- and run up the street and throw it
- at the next wedding...
- 239
- 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,677
- and the next wedding...
- 240
- 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,222
- and the next wedding.
- 241
- 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,601
- We also had front row seats
- to watch the townsmen
- 242
- 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:26,271
- in their Sunday suits carry out
- an endless array...
- 243
- 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,399
- of dark wooden boxes
- 244
- 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:33,779
- to be slipped into the rear
- of the Freeman's Funeral Home
- 245
- 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,949
- long black Cadillac
- 246
- 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,201
- for the short ride
- 247
- 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,913
- to St. Rose Cemetery hill
- on the edge of town.
- 248
- 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:44,623
- And there...
- 249
- 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,918
- all our Catholic neighbors,
- all the Zerillis,
- 250
- 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:51,588
- all the McNicholases,
- all the Springsteens who came before...
- 251
- 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,842
- they patiently waited for us.
- 252
- 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,386
- On Sundays,
- 253
- 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,140
- as my mom tended to our graves,
- 254
- 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,766
- my sister and I...
- 255
- 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,437
- we played hide-and-seek
- amongst the gravestones.
- 256
- 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,817
- I gotcha.
- 257
- 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,445
- Now, when it rains in Freehold...
- 258
- 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,282
- When it rains,
- 259
- 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:22,661
- the moisture in the humid air
- blankets the whole town
- 260
- 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:27,708
- with the smell of moist coffee grounds
- wafting in from the Nescafé plant
- 261
- 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,459
- on the town's eastern edge.
- 262
- 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,879
- Now, I don't like coffee,
- 263
- 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,716
- but I loved that smell.
- 264
- 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:40,888
- It was comforting. It united our town,
- 265
- 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,765
- just like our clanging rug mill,
- 266
- 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:48,020
- in a common sensory experience.
- There was a place here.
- 267
- 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:51,064
- You could hear it, you could smell it.
- 268
- 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,693
- A place where people made lives
- 269
- 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,237
- and where they worked
- and where they danced
- 270
- 00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:02,075
- and where they enjoyed small pleasures
- and played baseball and...
- 271
- 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,870
- and suffered pain.
- 272
- 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,498
- Where they had their hearts broke
- 273
- 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,376
- and where they made love,
- 274
- 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,296
- had kids...
- 275
- 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,841
- where they died...
- 276
- 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:23,931
- and drank themselves drunk
- on spring nights.
- 277
- 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:28,060
- And where they did their very best,
- 278
- 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,063
- the best that they could,
- 279
- 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:37,027
- to hold off the demons,
- outside and inside,
- 280
- 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:40,030
- that sought to destroy them...
- 281
- 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:44,910
- and their homes, their families,
- 282
- 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,164
- and their town.
- 283
- 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,386
- Here, we lived in the shadow
- of the steeple,
- 284
- 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:06,098
- crookedly blessed in God's good mercy,
- one and all.
- 285
- 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,060
- In the heart-stopping, pants-dropping,
- 286
- 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,397
- race-rioting, freak-hating,
- 287
- 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,566
- soul-shaking, redneck,
- 288
- 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,653
- love-and-fear-making,
- 289
- 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,948
- heartbreaking town...
- 290
- 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,036
- of Freehold, New Jersey.
- 291
- 00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:39,579
- My father worked
- as a 16-year-old floor boy
- 292
- 00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:40,872
- in that rug mill.
- 293
- 00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:44,376
- And then he went off to war.
- When he came home, he got married.
- 294
- 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:47,337
- They shut the rug mill down,
- and so he went to work
- 295
- 00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,548
- on the Ford Motor plant line
- in New Brunswick.
- 296
- 00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:52,384
- Then he worked at the Nescafé plant
- in Freehold,
- 297
- 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:55,095
- worked in a plastics factory in town.
- 298
- 00:25:55,178 --> 00:25:58,557
- He was a truck driver, a bus driver,
- drove a taxi.
- 299
- 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:01,518
- He lived mostly at home,
- except for his second home,
- 300
- 00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,104
- which was a little local bar
- in the center of town.
- 301
- 00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:10,860
- Now, to a child, bars in Freehold
- were these citadels of great mystery.
- 302
- 00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:14,781
- When you walked through barroom doors
- in my hometown,
- 303
- 00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:16,825
- you entered the mystical realm of men.
- 304
- 00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:20,954
- On the rare night
- that my mother would call my father home,
- 305
- 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:24,249
- we would slowly drive through town
- until we drew to a stop
- 306
- 00:26:24,332 --> 00:26:25,917
- outside of a single lit door.
- 307
- 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:28,878
- She'd look at me and say,
- "Go in and get your dad."
- 308
- 00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:33,008
- This both thrilled and terrified me.
- 309
- 00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:36,886
- Thrilled me,
- because I had been given the license
- 310
- 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:37,846
- by my mother,
- 311
- 00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,807
- the law...
- 312
- 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,934
- ...to go into the bar!
- 313
- 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,061
- I'm a kid!
- 314
- 00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:48,189
- But it terrified me,
- 315
- 00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:50,358
- because to enter the bar
- 316
- 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:56,948
- is to enter my father's privileged,
- private, and sacred space.
- 317
- 00:26:57,490 --> 00:27:02,412
- He was not to be disturbed
- when he's down at the bar.
- 318
- 00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:05,665
- Everybody knew that.
- 319
- 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,208
- So, I would walk in.
- 320
- 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:11,588
- And I was waist-high, and like a Jack
- who climbed some dark beanstalk
- 321
- 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:12,714
- into a land of giants,
- 322
- 00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:16,635
- all I remember is the men towering
- over me on their way out the door.
- 323
- 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:19,346
- Now, once you were in,
- to the left against the wall
- 324
- 00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:22,057
- was a line of red leather booths
- 325
- 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,934
- that were filled
- with husband and wife tag team drinkers.
- 326
- 00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:27,687
- Now, they were your hard-core regulars,
- 327
- 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:30,482
- there night after night
- after night, all right?
- 328
- 00:27:30,565 --> 00:27:32,651
- Now, to the right was the bar,
- 329
- 00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:37,447
- a line of stools filled by a barricade
- of broad working-class backs,
- 330
- 00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:41,618
- clinking glasses, too loud laughter,
- and very few women.
- 331
- 00:27:41,701 --> 00:27:46,081
- I would stand there lost in the noise
- and the hustle of the crowd
- 332
- 00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:50,251
- and I would drink in
- that dim smell of beer
- 333
- 00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:53,046
- and booze and aftershave.
- 334
- 00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:58,051
- That, to a kid,
- that was the scent of adulthood.
- 335
- 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:01,471
- It was the scent of manhood.
- 336
- 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:04,599
- I wanted some of that, you know?
- 337
- 00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:09,062
- Finally, somebody would notice me
- and draw me over to my pop.
- 338
- 00:28:09,145 --> 00:28:11,606
- Now, my view from the floor
- was the first thing I'd see
- 339
- 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,817
- is the chrome legs of the barstool.
- 340
- 00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:17,529
- Then I'd see his black shoes,
- white socks, dark green work trousers,
- 341
- 00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:19,072
- powerful legs and haunches.
- 342
- 00:28:19,155 --> 00:28:22,951
- My dad, till the day he died,
- had the legs and an ass of a rhinoceros.
- 343
- 00:28:24,285 --> 00:28:27,789
- And-- and his trousers always looked
- like they were stretched,
- 344
- 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:31,918
- stretched over those legs and ass somehow.
- I don't know how.
- 345
- 00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:34,921
- He was always busting out, you know?
- 346
- 00:28:35,296 --> 00:28:38,299
- Uh, then I would see
- his black Garrison work belt,
- 347
- 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:40,093
- his green work shirt, and then his face.
- 348
- 00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,679
- By the time I got there,
- his face was flushed red,
- 349
- 00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:45,849
- red as a tomato because he was Irish,
- 350
- 00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:49,227
- and whatever he drank
- went straight to his face.
- 351
- 00:28:49,936 --> 00:28:54,274
- All right? He couldn't hide a thing
- when he came home, you know? Uh...
- 352
- 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:57,736
- And not only was it red,
- but it was like...
- 353
- 00:28:57,902 --> 00:29:03,867
- ...it was, like, distorted, too,
- into some sort of booze mask, you know,
- 354
- 00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:07,120
- by... by Mr. Schlitz and-- and...
- 355
- 00:29:07,871 --> 00:29:12,500
- It was so foreign to me as a child that,
- uh...
- 356
- 00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:16,337
- He...
- 357
- 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,966
- Fuck, I don't know!
- 358
- 00:29:20,049 --> 00:29:23,887
- But it was scary, and he'd be peering
- down over his shoulder,
- 359
- 00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:27,348
- down through cigarette smoke
- and he'd be looking at me like,
- 360
- 00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:30,477
- "I've never seen you before
- in my fuckin' life."
- 361
- 00:29:36,816 --> 00:29:40,028
- I'd then uttered the immortal words
- that I was sent to deliver,
- 362
- 00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,906
- "Mom wants you to come home."
- 363
- 00:29:45,825 --> 00:29:50,121
- I'd hear, "Go outside.
- I will be right out."
- 364
- 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:54,375
- And I would follow my breadcrumb trail
- back out the barroom door,
- 365
- 00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:59,506
- I would hop into the backseat
- and I would inform my mother...
- 366
- 00:30:02,425 --> 00:30:05,470
- "Um, he'll be right out.
- He'll be right out."
- 367
- 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:35,221
- Now, those whose love we wanted
- but didn't get,
- 368
- 00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:37,473
- we emulate them.
- 369
- 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:41,769
- It's the only way we have in our power
- 370
- 00:33:43,479 --> 00:33:46,983
- to get the closeness and the love
- that we needed and desired.
- 371
- 00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,861
- So, when I was a young man
- and looking for a voice
- 372
- 00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:53,948
- to meld with mine, to sing my songs,
- and to tell my stories,
- 373
- 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:56,075
- well, I chose my father's voice.
- 374
- 00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:01,205
- Because there was something sacred
- in it to me.
- 375
- 00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:05,001
- When I went looking for something to wear,
- 376
- 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:07,879
- I put on a factory worker's clothes,
- 377
- 00:34:08,504 --> 00:34:10,590
- because they were my dad's clothes.
- 378
- 00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:17,013
- And all we know about manhood
- is what we have seen
- 379
- 00:34:17,096 --> 00:34:18,306
- and what we have learned
- 380
- 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:22,477
- from our fathers,
- and my father was my hero
- 381
- 00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:25,396
- and my greatest foe.
- 382
- 00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:31,819
- Not long after he died, I had this dream.
- 383
- 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,946
- I'm on stage,
- I'm in front of thousands of people
- 384
- 00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:37,075
- and my dad's back from the dead,
- and he's sitting in the audience.
- 385
- 00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:40,203
- And suddenly, I'm kneeling next to him
- in the aisle.
- 386
- 00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:45,166
- And for a moment,
- we both watch the man on fire on stage.
- 387
- 00:34:51,798 --> 00:34:53,174
- And then, to my dad, who for years,
- 388
- 00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:56,344
- he sat at that kitchen table, unreachable,
- 389
- 00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,555
- in what I was too young
- 390
- 00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:02,809
- and I was too stupid
- to understand was his depression.
- 391
- 00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:06,896
- Well, I kneel next to him in the aisle...
- 392
- 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,398
- and I brush his forearm...
- 393
- 00:35:11,317 --> 00:35:12,902
- and I say, "Look, Dad,
- 394
- 00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:15,363
- that guy on stage.
- 395
- 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,076
- That's how I see you."
- 396
- 00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:31,439
- Now, my mom
- was a different story altogether.
- 397
- 00:36:32,648 --> 00:36:35,776
- I'm gonna release you
- from suicide watch right now.
- 398
- 00:36:39,113 --> 00:36:40,990
- Snap out of it! Come on.
- 399
- 00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:44,577
- Because my mother was bright, happy.
- 400
- 00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:47,246
- She'd merrily make conversation
- with a broom handle.
- 401
- 00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:51,834
- She believed that there was good faith,
- good heart, good hope in all citizens.
- 402
- 00:36:52,126 --> 00:36:56,172
- She gave the world a lot more credit,
- perhaps, than it deserves,
- 403
- 00:36:56,255 --> 00:36:57,757
- but that was her way.
- 404
- 00:36:57,840 --> 00:36:59,926
- Now, on school mornings-- I hated school.
- 405
- 00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:01,886
- That's just Rock Star 101.
- 406
- 00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:07,558
- If you don't hate school in my business,
- 407
- 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:10,019
- please keep your fucking day job,
- all right?
- 408
- 00:37:11,437 --> 00:37:14,732
- Because it's a sign.
- It's a sign that, brother,
- 409
- 00:37:14,815 --> 00:37:17,860
- you're going nowhere, man. Nowhere.
- 410
- 00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:20,947
- You need to have hatred in your heart
- 411
- 00:37:21,697 --> 00:37:24,116
- to get to the top where I am, all right?
- 412
- 00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:27,411
- You've got to hate, all right? Uh...
- 413
- 00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:29,497
- So, of course I hated getting up.
- 414
- 00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:32,583
- And, uh, my mom had perfected
- this technique in the morning
- 415
- 00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:35,169
- where she'd stand over my bed
- with a glass of ice water
- 416
- 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:36,337
- and give me 30 seconds.
- 417
- 00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:39,840
- You know, "Five, four, three, two..."
- 418
- 00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:42,260
- Boom! Niagara Falls.
- 419
- 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,138
- I would get dressed,
- I would drift downstairs to breakfast,
- 420
- 00:37:46,222 --> 00:37:51,060
- where I would feast daily
- on a huge bowl of Sugar Pops.
- 421
- 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,729
- A fine product...
- 422
- 00:37:54,981 --> 00:37:57,316
- ...with just one problem.
- 423
- 00:37:58,234 --> 00:38:00,695
- They don't put enough sugar
- in those Sugar Pops.
- 424
- 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:04,907
- So, I wasn't content
- until I snowed more sugar
- 425
- 00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:08,619
- on my Sugar Pops
- until they looked like the Himalayas.
- 426
- 00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:12,873
- - And then... Mmm!
- - "Good!"
- 427
- 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,919
- With a buzz on and a kiss from my mom,
- 428
- 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,296
- I was off
- 429
- 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:22,633
- with my sister, lumbering up the street
- with our book bags
- 430
- 00:38:23,175 --> 00:38:25,928
- as my mom's high heels clicked lightly
- in the other direction
- 431
- 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,973
- toward Lawyers Title Insurance Company
- in town center.
- 432
- 00:38:29,056 --> 00:38:30,558
- She was a legal secretary.
- 433
- 00:38:30,891 --> 00:38:33,477
- That was the job she did
- since the day she got out of high school,
- 434
- 00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:35,021
- 50 years that followed.
- 435
- 00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:38,566
- Goes to work, doesn't miss a day,
- never sick,
- 436
- 00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:41,027
- never down, never complains.
- 437
- 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:43,279
- Work doesn't appear to be a burden
- for her,
- 438
- 00:38:43,362 --> 00:38:46,282
- but it's a source of energy
- and of social pleasure.
- 439
- 00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:49,910
- Now, some evenings, I would meet my mother
- at closing time,
- 440
- 00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:52,872
- and we would be the last
- to leave the office,
- 441
- 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:55,541
- and this was always a great privilege
- to me.
- 442
- 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:59,128
- I would have my mother all to myself.
- 443
- 00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:02,006
- And with the building empty,
- her high heels would echo
- 444
- 00:39:02,089 --> 00:39:04,383
- down the long linoleum hallway.
- 445
- 00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:08,554
- And with the fluorescent lights out,
- lawyers' cubicles empty,
- 446
- 00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:12,725
- secretaries' desks empty,
- typewriters covered,
- 447
- 00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:18,481
- silent, the building was so still
- after all the noise of the day.
- 448
- 00:39:18,564 --> 00:39:22,234
- You know, it was so--
- It got so quiet, it was as if...
- 449
- 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:28,366
- It-- It was as if the building itself
- was resting
- 450
- 00:39:28,991 --> 00:39:32,578
- after a long day of service
- in the interests of our town.
- 451
- 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:35,831
- And then suddenly,
- we'd be through the front door
- 452
- 00:39:35,915 --> 00:39:37,166
- and out on Main Street
- 453
- 00:39:37,249 --> 00:39:40,586
- in the five o'clock rush hour,
- and she would stride along,
- 454
- 00:39:41,003 --> 00:39:45,549
- statuesque, and I would be running
- alongside her just...
- 455
- 00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,261
- trying to keep up and I would be,
- you know, looking up at her.
- 456
- 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:52,681
- And, uh, it's a sight
- that I've never, never forgotten.
- 457
- 00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:55,851
- My mother walking home from work.
- 458
- 00:39:56,644 --> 00:39:57,853
- It had some...
- 459
- 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,443
- just some eternal impact on me.
- 460
- 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,445
- You know? Uh...
- 461
- 00:40:07,154 --> 00:40:10,574
- She-- She always had
- these very ethnic features.
- 462
- 00:40:10,658 --> 00:40:11,575
- She had...
- 463
- 00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:15,121
- coal-black hair, Italian olive skin,
- and when she was young,
- 464
- 00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:18,082
- she wore that red lipstick
- that was very fashionable
- 465
- 00:40:18,582 --> 00:40:19,792
- in the '50s.
- 466
- 00:40:20,334 --> 00:40:23,421
- And she'd be looking down at me
- with a look that, for me,
- 467
- 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:26,966
- was like the grace of Mary, you know?
- 468
- 00:40:27,049 --> 00:40:30,928
- Made me understand,
- for the first time, how good it feels
- 469
- 00:40:31,929 --> 00:40:34,390
- to feel pride in somebody that you love,
- 470
- 00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:37,226
- and who loves you back.
- 471
- 00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:41,647
- You know, she let the town know
- that we are handsome,
- 472
- 00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:45,109
- responsible members
- of this shit-dog burgh,
- 473
- 00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,194
- pulling our own individual weight
- 474
- 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:50,489
- doing what has to be done
- day after day.
- 475
- 00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:53,659
- We have a place here that we have earned!
- 476
- 00:40:54,535 --> 00:40:58,956
- And we have a reason to open our eyes
- at the break of each day
- 477
- 00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:02,084
- and breathe in a life
- that's steady and good.
- 478
- 00:41:04,545 --> 00:41:08,549
- Now, my mom was truthfulness,
- consistency, good humor,
- 479
- 00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:13,512
- professionalism, grace,
- kindness, optimism, civility,
- 480
- 00:41:13,888 --> 00:41:16,307
- fairness, pride in yourself,
- 481
- 00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:19,810
- responsibility,
- love, faith in your family,
- 482
- 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:23,981
- commitment, joy in your work,
- and a never-say-die thirst
- 483
- 00:41:24,064 --> 00:41:27,109
- for living, for living and for life.
- 484
- 00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:31,113
- And most importantly, for dancing.
- 485
- 00:41:31,947 --> 00:41:36,744
- My mother and her two sisters
- were dancing machines, all right?
- 486
- 00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:40,456
- They grew up in the '40s
- with the big bands and the swing bands
- 487
- 00:41:40,539 --> 00:41:43,584
- and they--
- they learned to jitterbug and-- and...
- 488
- 00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:49,465
- It was in their bones, you know?
- 489
- 00:41:49,882 --> 00:41:53,552
- My mom is seven years into Alzheimer's.
- 490
- 00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:56,764
- And she's 93.
- 491
- 00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,894
- But dancing and the desire
- and need to dance is something that...
- 492
- 00:42:02,144 --> 00:42:03,771
- it hasn't left her.
- 493
- 00:42:04,855 --> 00:42:08,317
- Remains an essential,
- primal part of who she is.
- 494
- 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,987
- It's beyond language.
- It's more powerful than memory.
- 495
- 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:16,742
- And when she comes in the door,
- we make sure there's music on.
- 496
- 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,621
- She wants to dance, you know?
- 497
- 00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:24,500
- Uh, these things were the embodiment
- of my mother.
- 498
- 00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:25,793
- They were her heart.
- 499
- 00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:30,673
- She carried on and she carries on
- as if they never,
- 500
- 00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:33,551
- never deserted her.
- 501
- 00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:06,198
- There's nothing like being young
- and leaving someplace.
- 502
- 00:47:07,115 --> 00:47:09,785
- That was a feeling that, oh,
- 503
- 00:47:10,536 --> 00:47:11,578
- I loved.
- 504
- 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:14,289
- Maybe that's why I became a musician.
- 505
- 00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:16,250
- Um...
- 506
- 00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:19,378
- Sleep late, stay up late.
- 507
- 00:47:20,254 --> 00:47:22,089
- And you do an awful lot of leaving.
- 508
- 00:47:23,423 --> 00:47:25,717
- Night I left Freehold for the last time,
- 509
- 00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:29,346
- I laid back on the couch,
- it was perched high atop a load
- 510
- 00:47:29,429 --> 00:47:30,764
- of the band's junk furniture
- 511
- 00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:34,560
- in the back of an open flatbed truck
- on a beautiful summer night.
- 512
- 00:47:35,018 --> 00:47:36,937
- I was 19 years old.
- 513
- 00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:41,441
- Ooh... that felt pretty good.
- 514
- 00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:44,903
- Soft ocean breeze of the shore
- was reaching all the way inland.
- 515
- 00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:46,738
- And as we drew through town,
- 516
- 00:47:46,822 --> 00:47:48,490
- for the very last time,
- 517
- 00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:51,285
- we were stopped by the police...
- 518
- 00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:57,332
- ...who informed us that there was a law
- against moving after dark.
- 519
- 00:48:01,253 --> 00:48:05,340
- What the fuck?
- 520
- 00:48:06,049 --> 00:48:08,343
- Who the fuck would know that?
- 521
- 00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,888
- Don't move your shit after dark?
- 522
- 00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:14,892
- What are we running off with,
- Freehold's great antiquities?
- 523
- 00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:17,603
- The sun goes down,
- 524
- 00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:21,440
- they'll bust your ass in Freehold, son.
- 525
- 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:24,902
- Anyway, they, uh...
- They sent us on our way.
- 526
- 00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:27,070
- Glad to be rid of the town hippies,
- I guess.
- 527
- 00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:28,864
- And so, I lay back on my couch
- 528
- 00:48:28,947 --> 00:48:30,866
- and I was watching
- the tree branches rush above me
- 529
- 00:48:30,949 --> 00:48:34,077
- and the stars scrolling in the night sky,
- and I remember
- 530
- 00:48:34,453 --> 00:48:36,246
- I felt absolutely wonderful.
- 531
- 00:48:36,580 --> 00:48:38,665
- I had nothing, no parents.
- 532
- 00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:41,960
- They had moved away
- with my little sister Pam
- 533
- 00:48:42,544 --> 00:48:45,047
- to California in 1969.
- 534
- 00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:49,301
- My sister Virginia,
- great soul that she is,
- 535
- 00:48:49,384 --> 00:48:52,304
- she got pregnant and had a baby at 18.
- 536
- 00:48:52,387 --> 00:48:55,891
- She left high school,
- married a competitive bull rider
- 537
- 00:48:56,850 --> 00:48:59,269
- and they moved into the wilds
- of southern New Jersey,
- 538
- 00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:01,563
- because that's where the cowboys live.
- 539
- 00:49:01,647 --> 00:49:03,023
- I ain't kidding.
- 540
- 00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:05,901
- The real joke is, 50 years later,
- 541
- 00:49:05,984 --> 00:49:08,862
- they're still together
- and they still go to the rodeo.
- 542
- 00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:16,161
- Well, I had no money and no family
- and no realistic future.
- 543
- 00:49:16,244 --> 00:49:20,916
- But yet, I remember laying on that couch
- with the summer wind rushing over me
- 544
- 00:49:20,999 --> 00:49:26,463
- and, you know,
- that-- that saltwater smell in the air
- 545
- 00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:28,757
- of the shore coming on, and thinking...
- 546
- 00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,218
- I was just happy.
- 547
- 00:49:31,843 --> 00:49:33,011
- I was happy.
- 548
- 00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,474
- I got it all, you know?
- Maybe I did, you know?
- 549
- 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:41,853
- Maybe there's nothing like that moment
- in your life of being young and...
- 550
- 00:49:42,312 --> 00:49:45,023
- leaving someplace,
- all that youthful freedom.
- 551
- 00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:49,069
- You feel-- Finally being untethered
- from everything you've ever known:
- 552
- 00:49:49,152 --> 00:49:51,655
- the life you've lived, your past,
- your parents,
- 553
- 00:49:51,738 --> 00:49:54,992
- the world you've gotten used to
- and that you've loved and hated.
- 554
- 00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:58,120
- Your life laying before you
- like a blank page.
- 555
- 00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:00,664
- It's the one thing I miss
- about getting older,
- 556
- 00:50:00,747 --> 00:50:05,293
- I miss the beauty of that blank page.
- 557
- 00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:08,171
- So much life in front of you.
- 558
- 00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:12,342
- Its promise, its possibilities,
- its mysteries, its adventures.
- 559
- 00:50:13,093 --> 00:50:14,553
- That blank page...
- 560
- 00:50:16,054 --> 00:50:17,389
- just laying there.
- 561
- 00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:21,810
- Daring you to write on it.
- 562
- 00:55:51,056 --> 00:55:53,975
- So... So, I'm 20 years old
- 563
- 00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,186
- and I'm living and playing
- on the Jersey Shore
- 564
- 00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:58,021
- and I'm waiting to be discovered.
- 565
- 00:55:58,938 --> 00:56:01,483
- Now, I have some confidence.
- 566
- 00:56:02,192 --> 00:56:03,651
- I've been around a bit.
- 567
- 00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:05,862
- And without a doubt,
- 568
- 00:56:06,404 --> 00:56:08,740
- I am definitely the best thing
- that I've ever seen.
- 569
- 00:56:10,825 --> 00:56:14,079
- I've already played in front
- of every conceivable audience.
- 570
- 00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:16,664
- I have played firemen's fairs,
- 571
- 00:56:16,915 --> 00:56:20,877
- midnight madness, supermarket openings,
- drive-in movies,
- 572
- 00:56:21,169 --> 00:56:24,339
- uh, in front of the concession stand
- in between films.
- 573
- 00:56:24,756 --> 00:56:27,008
- I've played beach parties,
- officers' clubs,
- 574
- 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:28,676
- pizza parlors, coffee shops,
- 575
- 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:32,389
- bowling alleys, trailer parks,
- roller rinks, VFW halls,
- 576
- 00:56:32,514 --> 00:56:36,267
- CYO canteens, the Elks Lodge,
- YMCA gymnasiums,
- 577
- 00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:40,397
- hockey rinks, county fairs, carnivals,
- high school dances, weddings,
- 578
- 00:56:40,688 --> 00:56:43,483
- fraternity parties,
- bar mitzvahs...
- 579
- 00:56:43,566 --> 00:56:47,278
- ...soul revues, battle of the bands,
- 580
- 00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:51,783
- Sing Sing Prison,
- and Marlboro Psychiatric Hospital.
- 581
- 00:56:58,873 --> 00:57:02,794
- Send me your murderers and your maniacs
- and let me entertain them, all right?
- 582
- 00:57:03,211 --> 00:57:05,964
- That's what I do. That's all true.
- 583
- 00:57:06,047 --> 00:57:08,425
- That's all before I was 23 years old.
- 584
- 00:57:08,508 --> 00:57:10,552
- I'm frustrated. I listen to the radio
- 585
- 00:57:10,635 --> 00:57:13,096
- and I think, "I'm as good as that guy.
- 586
- 00:57:13,179 --> 00:57:14,764
- I'm better than that guy.
- 587
- 00:57:15,056 --> 00:57:16,474
- So why not me?"
- 588
- 00:57:17,183 --> 00:57:23,148
- Because I live
- in the fucking boondocks, all right?
- 589
- 00:57:23,898 --> 00:57:26,943
- Let me explain this to you.
- I live in the boondocks.
- 590
- 00:57:27,026 --> 00:57:31,197
- There's nobody here,
- and no one comes down here.
- 591
- 00:57:32,365 --> 00:57:33,867
- It's a grave.
- 592
- 00:57:34,701 --> 00:57:40,290
- There was no Jersey, Jersey,
- Jersey Shore, Jersey Almighty shit.
- 593
- 00:57:44,043 --> 00:57:45,920
- I invented that.
- 594
- 00:57:55,054 --> 00:57:56,347
- Before me...
- 595
- 00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:59,559
- Jersey was Jeserkhistan.
- 596
- 00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:02,562
- Jeserkhistan!
- 597
- 00:58:03,396 --> 00:58:07,650
- One of the little -stan things
- that nobody knows a fucking thing about.
- 598
- 00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:08,776
- You know?
- 599
- 00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:13,156
- And New York was a million miles away
- 600
- 00:58:13,239 --> 00:58:16,201
- from the Jersey Shore.
- In my little town as a child,
- 601
- 00:58:16,284 --> 00:58:20,288
- we knew no one who had ever been
- to New York City.
- 602
- 00:58:22,332 --> 00:58:25,627
- Jesus Christ, it was--
- it was only an hour away!
- 603
- 00:58:27,295 --> 00:58:31,090
- But no, you might as well have said
- you're going to the fucking Moon.
- 604
- 00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:35,470
- "Hey, we're going to the Moon,
- you wanna go?" "No, no, no.
- 605
- 00:58:35,845 --> 00:58:37,931
- No, New York. No..."
- 606
- 00:58:38,014 --> 00:58:38,932
- We were provincial.
- 607
- 00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:42,644
- Everybody was afraid
- of the big city.
- 608
- 00:58:43,102 --> 00:58:45,939
- And there was no Internet,
- there was no ET, or MTV,
- 609
- 00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:48,691
- or cable TV, or satellite, or...
- 610
- 00:58:48,775 --> 00:58:52,987
- This is before anyone and everyone's
- ass crack from Anyplace, USA...
- 611
- 00:58:53,738 --> 00:58:55,573
- could be seen all over the world,
- 612
- 00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:59,577
- uh, should they choose,
- in the push of a key, in the next instant.
- 613
- 00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:02,247
- So who was gonna come
- to the Jersey Shore
- 614
- 00:59:03,081 --> 00:59:06,042
- to discover the next big thing in 1971?
- 615
- 00:59:10,046 --> 00:59:11,130
- You're correct.
- 616
- 00:59:16,261 --> 00:59:17,428
- No-fucking-body.
- 617
- 00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:21,599
- All we heard down there
- was the sound of...
- 618
- 00:59:23,017 --> 00:59:24,310
- one hand clapping.
- 619
- 00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:26,521
- Wasn't gonna happen.
- 620
- 00:59:26,604 --> 00:59:27,647
- I had one shot.
- 621
- 00:59:27,730 --> 00:59:29,774
- My girlfriend
- at the time did me a great favor.
- 622
- 00:59:29,857 --> 00:59:32,860
- Brought a guy who had
- a successful recording band
- 623
- 00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:36,614
- down to the Student Prince,
- our club in Asbury Park,
- 624
- 00:59:36,906 --> 00:59:38,408
- to discover us.
- 625
- 00:59:38,491 --> 00:59:42,245
- We got up on a little stage
- in a club that fit 150 people.
- 626
- 00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:43,746
- It was about half full.
- 627
- 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:45,623
- And we played for this guy
- 628
- 00:59:45,707 --> 00:59:48,501
- like we were at Madison Square Garden.
- 629
- 00:59:48,793 --> 00:59:51,588
- Everything we had, all night long.
- 630
- 00:59:52,547 --> 00:59:56,843
- We played five sets,
- from 9:00 p.m. till 3:00 a.m.
- 631
- 00:59:58,052 --> 01:00:00,888
- At the end of the night,
- I was soaked to my bones.
- 632
- 01:00:00,972 --> 01:00:04,017
- I got off the bandstand,
- this guy walked up to me.
- 633
- 01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:06,477
- He looked me in the eye,
- shook my hand and said,
- 634
- 01:00:06,561 --> 01:00:09,772
- "You guys are the best unsigned band
- I've ever seen."
- 635
- 01:00:11,482 --> 01:00:13,735
- Then he slept with my girlfriend
- and left town.
- 636
- 01:00:21,826 --> 01:00:23,328
- That's the end of that story.
- 637
- 01:00:26,748 --> 01:00:28,041
- It's a sad ending.
- 638
- 01:00:28,124 --> 01:00:30,710
- I mean, I don't--
- But that was enough for me.
- 639
- 01:00:32,211 --> 01:00:34,297
- I gathered together the men...
- 640
- 01:00:35,340 --> 01:00:39,010
- and I said, "Gentlemen,
- we are going to have to leave
- 641
- 01:00:39,260 --> 01:00:43,139
- the confines of the Jersey Shore
- 642
- 01:00:43,806 --> 01:00:46,434
- and venture into parts unknown...
- 643
- 01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,354
- if we want to be seen,
- 644
- 01:00:50,063 --> 01:00:53,524
- heard by anybody or discovered."
- 645
- 01:00:54,108 --> 01:00:57,654
- I found a manager, surfboard manufacturer
- from the West Coast--
- 646
- 01:00:57,737 --> 01:01:01,074
- he'd moved East-- by the name
- of Carl Virgil "Tinker" West.
- 647
- 01:01:01,532 --> 01:01:05,912
- Now, together, he,
- Mad Dog Lopez, and myself
- 648
- 01:01:05,995 --> 01:01:08,247
- we lived in the surfboard factory.
- 649
- 01:01:08,831 --> 01:01:13,086
- In the industrial wastelands
- of Wanamassa, New Jersey.
- 650
- 01:01:13,795 --> 01:01:17,465
- Tinker said he had some remaining
- rock 'n' roll contacts in San Francisco.
- 651
- 01:01:17,548 --> 01:01:21,135
- So we all got excited,
- and he said if we could get there,
- 652
- 01:01:21,594 --> 01:01:23,054
- something might happen.
- 653
- 01:01:23,137 --> 01:01:27,433
- So we saved up all our money
- until we had $100.
- 654
- 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:28,685
- All right?
- 655
- 01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:31,562
- And then me, Danny Federici,
- Mad Dog Lopez,
- 656
- 01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:33,815
- Little Vinnie Roslin, our bass player,
- 657
- 01:01:33,898 --> 01:01:36,275
- rigged out Danny's station wagon
- for the drive.
- 658
- 01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:39,445
- Put a mattress in the back
- for the drivers to spell each other
- 659
- 01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,239
- and to sleep in on the way out there.
- 660
- 01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,826
- We rigged Tinker's old '40s flatbed
- to carry our equipment
- 661
- 01:01:44,909 --> 01:01:48,246
- and we had three days
- to make it across the country
- 662
- 01:01:48,329 --> 01:01:52,375
- for a New Year's Eve gig
- in Big Sur, California.
- 663
- 01:01:52,458 --> 01:01:54,419
- Now, three days means
- 664
- 01:01:54,794 --> 01:01:57,797
- those are gonna be thousand-mile days.
- 665
- 01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:01,634
- You can make it, but you can't stop.
- 666
- 01:02:02,593 --> 01:02:05,596
- You stop for gas and for nothing else.
- 667
- 01:02:05,972 --> 01:02:11,185
- You drive, drive, drive, drive,
- 72 hours straight.
- 668
- 01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:14,522
- Somebody's driving all the time
- around the clock.
- 669
- 01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:16,858
- Now, of course, we lost Danny
- 670
- 01:02:16,941 --> 01:02:20,027
- and the entire station wagon
- full of drivers
- 671
- 01:02:20,486 --> 01:02:23,448
- in Nashville, Tennessee.
- 672
- 01:02:23,531 --> 01:02:25,658
- Now, there's no cellular phones.
- 673
- 01:02:27,326 --> 01:02:28,786
- Young people, take a moment.
- 674
- 01:02:38,713 --> 01:02:39,964
- Let's try it.
- 675
- 01:02:41,257 --> 01:02:43,634
- Imagine a world
- without the cellular phone.
- 676
- 01:02:44,802 --> 01:02:46,512
- When you lose someone
- 677
- 01:02:46,888 --> 01:02:49,265
- in that world
- without the cellular phone...
- 678
- 01:02:51,017 --> 01:02:52,643
- oh, they're fucking lost.
- 679
- 01:02:57,774 --> 01:02:59,484
- There's no device.
- 680
- 01:02:59,734 --> 01:03:02,779
- You can't get in touch with them.
- They're gone!
- 681
- 01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:04,405
- Out of your life!
- 682
- 01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:08,534
- Into the ether.
- 683
- 01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,873
- So now, it's just Tinker and me,
- Tinker's dog,
- 684
- 01:03:14,290 --> 01:03:15,917
- thousands of miles to go,
- 685
- 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:19,754
- and we got several problems.
- One is I have no license.
- 686
- 01:03:20,129 --> 01:03:23,758
- Second problem is I don't have a clue
- as to how to drive.
- 687
- 01:03:24,550 --> 01:03:26,761
- And by that, I mean the man
- 688
- 01:03:27,178 --> 01:03:30,473
- who would very, very shortly
- write "Racing in the Street"...
- 689
- 01:03:40,191 --> 01:03:41,692
- That's how good I am.
- 690
- 01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:48,241
- Because, at 21,
- I had never driven a fucking block.
- 691
- 01:03:49,951 --> 01:03:51,327
- Around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m.,
- 692
- 01:03:51,410 --> 01:03:54,539
- Tinker's eyes glass over
- and he says, "I'm fried.
- 693
- 01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:57,166
- I need to get some sleep.
- It's your turn to drive."
- 694
- 01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:59,377
- I go, "Tink, I can't drive."
- 695
- 01:03:59,794 --> 01:04:02,171
- He says, "Springsteen,
- there's nothing to it.
- 696
- 01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:05,466
- Idiots all over the world are doing it,
- all right?"
- 697
- 01:04:06,509 --> 01:04:09,262
- He pulls me into a parking lot.
- He puts me behind the wheel.
- 698
- 01:04:09,345 --> 01:04:11,389
- I start grinding gears,
- pumping the clutch,
- 699
- 01:04:11,472 --> 01:04:15,685
- jerking the truck all over the lot--
- It's a 1940s manual transmission.
- 700
- 01:04:15,768 --> 01:04:18,271
- I can't get past first gear!
- 701
- 01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:22,650
- After a moment Tinker says,
- "This isn't going to work,
- 702
- 01:04:22,733 --> 01:04:24,360
- but I got another idea."
- 703
- 01:04:24,443 --> 01:04:26,070
- He gets in the driver's seat.
- 704
- 01:04:26,153 --> 01:04:29,115
- He slips in the clutch.
- He smoothly shifts it into first.
- 705
- 01:04:29,198 --> 01:04:30,825
- He eases out on the clutch.
- 706
- 01:04:30,908 --> 01:04:33,411
- He gets that truck going
- on a sweet little roll,
- 707
- 01:04:33,661 --> 01:04:36,163
- looks at me and says,
- "Now let's switch seats."
- 708
- 01:04:37,748 --> 01:04:39,375
- And that's what we did.
- 709
- 01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:44,088
- I was fine in second, third, and fourth
- and I could keep it in between the lines
- 710
- 01:04:44,171 --> 01:04:48,092
- as long as I didn't have to stop
- or go near first gear.
- 711
- 01:04:48,926 --> 01:04:52,388
- If I've gotta do either of those things,
- I have to wake up Mr. West.
- 712
- 01:04:52,763 --> 01:04:55,933
- All right? Now, it doesn't matter
- 713
- 01:04:56,392 --> 01:04:58,185
- because he's awake anyway,
- 714
- 01:04:58,269 --> 01:05:00,897
- because the guy who can't drive
- is driving!
- 715
- 01:05:03,983 --> 01:05:06,027
- You're not gonna sleep through that!
- 716
- 01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:08,863
- So...
- 717
- 01:05:08,946 --> 01:05:12,074
- You'd be surprised how far
- you can go across this big country
- 718
- 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:14,285
- without having to stop. You know, it's...
- 719
- 01:05:14,952 --> 01:05:18,623
- it's a long ways between things out there,
- 720
- 01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:20,917
- and, man, I drove my share
- 721
- 01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:23,085
- of 2,000 miles...
- 722
- 01:05:24,253 --> 01:05:26,380
- in second, third, and fourth gear.
- 723
- 01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:31,928
- Without killing anybody.
- 724
- 01:05:34,847 --> 01:05:38,684
- Uh... And we made it on time,
- you know, but, uh...
- 725
- 01:05:39,226 --> 01:05:40,061
- that trip was...
- 726
- 01:05:42,396 --> 01:05:44,899
- ...was where I saw the United States
- at its fullest
- 727
- 01:05:44,982 --> 01:05:49,111
- and as a young man, I was overwhelmed
- by its size and its beauty, and...
- 728
- 01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:51,530
- this is a short piece
- from the book about...
- 729
- 01:05:52,823 --> 01:05:55,409
- riding across the country
- for the very first time.
- 730
- 01:05:59,997 --> 01:06:01,582
- The country was beautiful.
- 731
- 01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:06,921
- And I felt a great elation at the wheel
- as we crossed the western desert at dawn.
- 732
- 01:06:07,755 --> 01:06:11,175
- The deep blue, purple shadowed canyons.
- 733
- 01:06:11,968 --> 01:06:13,970
- The pale yellow morning sky
- 734
- 01:06:14,845 --> 01:06:16,847
- with all of its color drawn out,
- 735
- 01:06:17,848 --> 01:06:20,184
- leaving just
- the black silhouetted mountains
- 736
- 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:23,521
- in your rearview mirror.
- 737
- 01:06:24,939 --> 01:06:27,400
- Then with the eastern sun rising
- at our backs,
- 738
- 01:06:27,483 --> 01:06:30,987
- the deep reds and the browns
- of the plains and the hills
- 739
- 01:06:31,737 --> 01:06:34,532
- came to life slowly in front of us.
- 740
- 01:06:38,452 --> 01:06:42,957
- Your palms turn salty white
- on the wheel from the aridity.
- 741
- 01:06:43,249 --> 01:06:46,502
- Morning woke the Earth
- into this muted color.
- 742
- 01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:49,255
- And then came the flat light
- of the midday sun
- 743
- 01:06:49,588 --> 01:06:52,800
- and everything stood revealed
- as pure horizon.
- 744
- 01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:57,388
- Just sky, sky, sky, and more sky.
- 745
- 01:06:57,972 --> 01:07:00,391
- Lowering onto two lanes of blacktop
- 746
- 01:07:01,684 --> 01:07:04,562
- and disappearing into nothing.
- 747
- 01:07:06,105 --> 01:07:07,648
- My favorite thing.
- 748
- 01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,653
- Then the evening
- with the sun burning red into your eyes
- 749
- 01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:15,906
- and dropping gold
- into the western hills in front of you.
- 750
- 01:07:16,615 --> 01:07:18,576
- All felt like home to me.
- 751
- 01:07:19,952 --> 01:07:23,205
- And I fell into a lasting love affair
- with the desert.
- 752
- 01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:27,408
- So, it's-- it's 1980.
- 753
- 01:11:27,533 --> 01:11:30,953
- I'm 30 years old, I'm on another
- cross-country trip with a buddy of mine
- 754
- 01:11:31,036 --> 01:11:33,497
- and we stop outside of Phoenix to gas up.
- 755
- 01:11:33,580 --> 01:11:35,874
- Go into a small-town drugstore,
- 756
- 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:38,210
- I'm rifling through a rack
- of paperback books,
- 757
- 01:11:38,294 --> 01:11:41,130
- I come across a book
- called Born on the Fourth of July
- 758
- 01:11:41,338 --> 01:11:44,174
- by a Vietnam veteran named Ron Kovic.
- 759
- 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:46,719
- Now, his book was a testimony
- of the experience
- 760
- 01:11:46,802 --> 01:11:50,055
- that he'd had as a combat infantryman
- in Southeast Asia.
- 761
- 01:11:50,556 --> 01:11:51,932
- A week or two later,
- 762
- 01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:56,854
- I'm bunked in at the fabulous
- Sunset Marquis motel in Los Angeles.
- 763
- 01:11:57,354 --> 01:12:00,774
- Uh-- For the uninformed,
- it's kind of an upscale,
- 764
- 01:12:00,858 --> 01:12:03,694
- lowlife rock star hangout, all right?
- 765
- 01:12:03,777 --> 01:12:05,529
- Uh, small world theory.
- 766
- 01:12:06,030 --> 01:12:08,324
- Small world theory proves itself
- once again.
- 767
- 01:12:08,407 --> 01:12:10,409
- I'd been seeing a young guy
- with shoulder-length hair
- 768
- 01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:13,287
- sitting in a wheelchair
- by the pool for several days.
- 769
- 01:12:13,662 --> 01:12:18,834
- So, one afternoon he rolled up to me
- and said, "Hi, I'm Ron Kovic.
- 770
- 01:12:18,917 --> 01:12:21,462
- I wrote a book
- called Born on the Fourth of July."
- 771
- 01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:26,091
- I said, "Jeez. I just-- I just read it.
- And it-- it destroyed me."
- 772
- 01:12:26,633 --> 01:12:30,846
- He spent the afternoon talking to me
- about many returned soldiers
- 773
- 01:12:30,929 --> 01:12:33,265
- who were struggling
- with a wide variety of problems,
- 774
- 01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:38,145
- and he wanted to know if I'd take a drive
- with him to the vet center in Venice...
- 775
- 01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:41,607
- meet some
- of the Southern California veterans.
- 776
- 01:12:42,066 --> 01:12:44,777
- So I said, "Sure."
- The next day, we headed out there,
- 777
- 01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:48,572
- and I'm usually pretty easy with people,
- but once we were at the center,
- 778
- 01:12:49,490 --> 01:12:53,369
- I didn't know how to respond
- to what I was seeing. Uh...
- 779
- 01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:58,040
- Talking about my own life
- to these guys seemed frivolous.
- 780
- 01:12:58,123 --> 01:12:58,957
- You know?
- 781
- 01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:02,669
- There was homelessness and drug problems
- and post-traumatic stress and...
- 782
- 01:13:03,253 --> 01:13:06,173
- young guys my age
- dealing with life-changing...
- 783
- 01:13:07,299 --> 01:13:08,675
- physical injuries.
- 784
- 01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:11,929
- And it made me think about my own friends
- from back home.
- 785
- 01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:13,847
- Walter Cichon.
- 786
- 01:13:14,473 --> 01:13:18,477
- Walter Cichon was the greatest
- rock 'n' roll front man
- 787
- 01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:21,897
- on the Jersey Shore
- in the bar band '60s.
- 788
- 01:13:22,314 --> 01:13:24,358
- He was in a group called The Motifs,
- 789
- 01:13:24,441 --> 01:13:28,946
- and he was the first real rock star
- that I ever laid my eyes on.
- 790
- 01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:32,741
- He just had it in his bones.
- He had it in his blood.
- 791
- 01:13:32,825 --> 01:13:35,327
- It was in the way that he carried himself.
- 792
- 01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:39,665
- On stage, he just was deadly.
- 793
- 01:13:39,748 --> 01:13:44,128
- He was raw and sexual and dangerous,
- 794
- 01:13:44,211 --> 01:13:48,841
- and in our little area he taught us,
- by the way that he lived,
- 795
- 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:52,344
- that you could live your life
- the way you chose.
- 796
- 01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:54,304
- You could look the way you wanted to look,
- 797
- 01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:56,432
- you could play the music
- you wanted to play,
- 798
- 01:13:56,515 --> 01:13:58,475
- you could be who you wanted to be,
- 799
- 01:13:58,559 --> 01:14:00,769
- and you could tell anyone
- who didn't like it
- 800
- 01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:02,604
- to go fuck themselves.
- 801
- 01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:04,523
- Walter had a...
- 802
- 01:14:05,607 --> 01:14:07,818
- guitar-playing brother, Raymond.
- 803
- 01:14:08,861 --> 01:14:10,112
- Raymond was...
- 804
- 01:14:10,487 --> 01:14:12,906
- tall, tall, kind of sweetly clumsy guy,
- 805
- 01:14:12,990 --> 01:14:16,827
- one of those big guys
- who just isn't comfortable with his size.
- 806
- 01:14:17,369 --> 01:14:21,039
- You know, uh, he's always, like,
- "Ooh. Ooh."
- 807
- 01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:25,294
- Knocking into shit wherever he is.
- And wherever that is,
- 808
- 01:14:25,627 --> 01:14:29,548
- there is just not enough space
- for Raymond, for some reason.
- 809
- 01:14:30,048 --> 01:14:31,133
- And, uh...
- 810
- 01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:35,095
- But the strange thing was
- he was always dressed impeccably
- 811
- 01:14:35,179 --> 01:14:40,184
- with a pastel shirt, long pointed collar,
- sharkskin pants, nylon socks,
- 812
- 01:14:40,559 --> 01:14:44,104
- spit-shined pointy-toed shoes,
- slicked-back black hair
- 813
- 01:14:44,188 --> 01:14:47,858
- with a little curl that would come down
- when he was playing the guitar.
- 814
- 01:14:47,941 --> 01:14:50,360
- Uh, Raymond was my guitar hero.
- 815
- 01:14:50,652 --> 01:14:53,071
- He was just a shoe salesman in the day.
- 816
- 01:14:53,780 --> 01:14:56,992
- And, uh, Walter, I think,
- worked construction.
- 817
- 01:14:57,075 --> 01:14:58,952
- They were only a little bit older
- than we were,
- 818
- 01:14:59,036 --> 01:15:02,539
- never had any national hit records,
- never did any big tours,
- 819
- 01:15:02,831 --> 01:15:04,500
- but they were gods to me.
- 820
- 01:15:05,584 --> 01:15:06,585
- And...
- 821
- 01:15:07,252 --> 01:15:09,755
- the hours I spent standing
- in front of their band,
- 822
- 01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:13,342
- studying, studying, studying,
- class in session.
- 823
- 01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:16,345
- Night after night,
- watching Ray's fingers fly
- 824
- 01:15:16,553 --> 01:15:18,931
- over the fretboard,
- and Walter would scare...
- 825
- 01:15:21,225 --> 01:15:23,143
- the shit out of half the crowd.
- 826
- 01:15:23,894 --> 01:15:25,103
- Oh, man.
- 827
- 01:15:26,355 --> 01:15:29,858
- They were essential to my development
- as a young musician.
- 828
- 01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:35,322
- I learned so much
- from Walter and from Ray.
- 829
- 01:15:35,739 --> 01:15:37,032
- And my dream,
- 830
- 01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:40,494
- my dream was I just wanted
- to play like Ray
- 831
- 01:15:40,577 --> 01:15:41,787
- and walk like Walter.
- 832
- 01:15:42,162 --> 01:15:43,413
- And then there was Bart Haynes.
- 833
- 01:15:43,497 --> 01:15:47,834
- Bart Haynes was the drummer
- from my first band, The Castiles.
- 834
- 01:15:48,293 --> 01:15:51,588
- He was the first real drummer
- I ever played with.
- 835
- 01:15:51,672 --> 01:15:53,549
- He was an absurdly funny kid,
- 836
- 01:15:53,632 --> 01:15:57,761
- classic class clown,
- was a good, good drummer...
- 837
- 01:15:58,178 --> 01:16:02,641
- with one strange quirk--
- couldn't play "Wipe Out" by The Surfaris.
- 838
- 01:16:04,726 --> 01:16:08,605
- This may not seem so critical to you
- right now, I understand.
- 839
- 01:16:09,690 --> 01:16:12,234
- But in those days,
- 840
- 01:16:12,818 --> 01:16:15,696
- your skills, your mettle,
- 841
- 01:16:16,029 --> 01:16:21,410
- your self-worth as a drummer
- and as a human being
- 842
- 01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:27,583
- was tested in front of your peers
- once an evening
- 843
- 01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:30,168
- by your performance of "Wipe Out."
- 844
- 01:16:30,752 --> 01:16:34,214
- Now, Bart could play
- every other fucking thing,
- 845
- 01:16:34,298 --> 01:16:36,300
- but when it came to "Wipe Out"...
- 846
- 01:16:40,679 --> 01:16:42,973
- beyond his capabilities!
- 847
- 01:16:44,474 --> 01:16:45,809
- It was tragic.
- 848
- 01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,354
- You know, uh...
- 849
- 01:16:50,355 --> 01:16:52,441
- One day he got off...
- 850
- 01:16:52,983 --> 01:16:56,278
- got up off the drum stool,
- he joined the Marines, and...
- 851
- 01:16:57,487 --> 01:16:59,990
- Walter and Bart...
- 852
- 01:17:00,073 --> 01:17:05,829
- ...they were both killed in the war
- in 1967 and '68.
- 853
- 01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:09,625
- Bart was the first young man
- from our hometown
- 854
- 01:17:10,334 --> 01:17:12,377
- to give his life in Vietnam.
- 855
- 01:17:12,753 --> 01:17:18,634
- So, I really didn't know what to say
- to the guys that I was meeting in Venice.
- 856
- 01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:22,220
- I sat there for most of the afternoon
- and I just listened.
- 857
- 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:27,267
- Then in 1982, I wrote
- and I recorded my soldier story.
- 858
- 01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,770
- It was a protest song, a GI blues.
- 859
- 01:17:30,270 --> 01:17:33,148
- The verses are just
- an accounting of events.
- 860
- 01:17:33,940 --> 01:17:38,487
- The choruses were a declaration
- of your birthplace...
- 861
- 01:17:38,987 --> 01:17:41,782
- and the right to all of the blood
- and the confusion
- 862
- 01:17:41,865 --> 01:17:45,118
- and the pride and the shame
- and the grace...
- 863
- 01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:48,955
- that comes with birthplace.
- 864
- 01:17:50,040 --> 01:17:54,461
- In 1969, Mad Dog, Little Vinnie,
- and myself,
- 865
- 01:17:55,212 --> 01:17:59,633
- we were all drafted on the exact same day.
- 866
- 01:18:00,133 --> 01:18:01,218
- All three of us.
- 867
- 01:18:01,301 --> 01:18:05,597
- We rode together early one Monday morning
- from the Selective Service Office
- 868
- 01:18:05,681 --> 01:18:10,060
- on probably the unhappiest bus
- that ever pulled out of Asbury Park,
- 869
- 01:18:10,143 --> 01:18:12,229
- because we were on our way
- 870
- 01:18:12,312 --> 01:18:16,108
- to what we were sure
- was going to be our funeral.
- 871
- 01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:20,278
- We'd seen it already, up very close.
- 872
- 01:18:22,739 --> 01:18:28,078
- When we got to the Newark Draft Board,
- we did everything we could not to go.
- 873
- 01:18:28,453 --> 01:18:31,039
- And we succeeded, all three of us.
- 874
- 01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,666
- When I go to Washington,
- 875
- 01:18:32,749 --> 01:18:35,544
- and I have the occasion
- to visit Walter and Bart,
- 876
- 01:18:35,877 --> 01:18:40,298
- I'm glad that Mad Dog's, Little Vinnie's,
- 877
- 01:18:41,216 --> 01:18:45,637
- for that matter,
- my name isn't up on... on that wall.
- 878
- 01:18:45,721 --> 01:18:50,142
- But it was 1969, and thousands
- and thousands of young men to come
- 879
- 01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:54,479
- would be called, simply sacrificed,
- 880
- 01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:57,566
- just to save face for the powers that be
- 881
- 01:18:57,983 --> 01:18:59,860
- who, by then, already knew.
- 882
- 01:19:00,944 --> 01:19:02,821
- They knew it was a lost cause.
- 883
- 01:19:06,241 --> 01:19:08,577
- And still, thousands and thousands...
- 884
- 01:19:09,745 --> 01:19:11,329
- of more young boys.
- 885
- 01:19:13,039 --> 01:19:14,040
- So, uh...
- 886
- 01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:21,590
- So I do sometimes wonder
- who went in my place.
- 887
- 01:19:22,716 --> 01:19:24,468
- Because somebody did.
- 888
- 01:24:12,756 --> 01:24:13,673
- Now...
- 889
- 01:24:14,549 --> 01:24:19,304
- a real rock 'n' roll band
- evolves out of a common place and time.
- 890
- 01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:24,559
- Bands come out of towns,
- out of a city, out of a neighborhood.
- 891
- 01:24:25,268 --> 01:24:28,354
- And they come along
- at a particular moment, you know?
- 892
- 01:24:28,855 --> 01:24:32,150
- Bands are all about what happens
- when musicians
- 893
- 01:24:32,650 --> 01:24:34,819
- who come from the same streets,
- 894
- 01:24:35,236 --> 01:24:42,202
- with the same passions and influences,
- go in search of lightning and thunder!
- 895
- 01:24:42,285 --> 01:24:44,370
- They come together in a whole
- 896
- 01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:47,082
- that is greater than the sum
- of their parts.
- 897
- 01:24:47,165 --> 01:24:50,376
- They may not be the best players.
- That's not necessary.
- 898
- 01:24:50,460 --> 01:24:54,130
- They need to be the right players
- and when they play together,
- 899
- 01:24:54,214 --> 01:24:57,967
- there is a communion of souls
- 900
- 01:24:58,551 --> 01:25:02,597
- and a natural brotherhood
- and sisterhood manifests itself,
- 901
- 01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:05,767
- and a quest, a quest is begun.
- 902
- 01:25:05,850 --> 01:25:07,977
- You're in search of something,
- 903
- 01:25:08,269 --> 01:25:10,188
- an adventure's undertaken.
- 904
- 01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:12,607
- And you ride shotgun.
- 905
- 01:25:14,025 --> 01:25:19,656
- In a real band, the principles of math
- get stood on their head.
- 906
- 01:25:20,281 --> 01:25:22,325
- And one plus one equals three.
- 907
- 01:25:34,045 --> 01:25:37,090
- Now one plus one equals two,
- that happens every day.
- 908
- 01:25:37,382 --> 01:25:40,677
- That is not magic. That's the grind.
- 909
- 01:25:41,052 --> 01:25:42,971
- That's when you get up, one,
- 910
- 01:25:43,054 --> 01:25:46,015
- go to work, one, go to bed...
- 911
- 01:25:46,766 --> 01:25:48,852
- Two.
- 912
- 01:25:49,435 --> 01:25:52,522
- Two, geniuses, two.
- 913
- 01:25:53,690 --> 01:25:58,361
- But when one plus one equals three,
- that's when your life changes
- 914
- 01:25:58,945 --> 01:26:00,780
- and you see everything new.
- 915
- 01:26:01,614 --> 01:26:05,243
- And these are days
- when you are visited by visions...
- 916
- 01:26:06,035 --> 01:26:08,580
- when the world around you
- brings down the spirit,
- 917
- 01:26:08,663 --> 01:26:10,957
- and you feel blessed to be alive.
- 918
- 01:26:12,542 --> 01:26:15,420
- It is the essential equation of love.
- 919
- 01:26:15,503 --> 01:26:18,923
- There is no love without one plus one
- equaling three.
- 920
- 01:26:19,007 --> 01:26:21,509
- It's the essential equation of art.
- 921
- 01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:23,970
- It's the essential equation
- of rock 'n' roll.
- 922
- 01:26:24,053 --> 01:26:28,141
- It's the reason the universe
- will never be fully comprehensible.
- 923
- 01:26:28,224 --> 01:26:33,188
- It's the reason "Louie Louie"
- will never be fully comprehensible.
- 924
- 01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:38,026
- And it's the reason true rock 'n' roll
- 925
- 01:26:38,109 --> 01:26:41,988
- and true rock 'n' roll bands
- will never die.
- 926
- 01:28:18,209 --> 01:28:21,879
- Now, Gary, Danny, Little Steven,
- Mighty Max, Professor Roy,
- 927
- 01:28:21,963 --> 01:28:26,634
- Nils Lofgren, Patti Scialfa,
- that is my one plus one equals...
- 928
- 01:28:26,718 --> 01:28:30,221
- - Three!
- - Excellent, grasshopper.
- 929
- 01:28:32,098 --> 01:28:34,642
- But nobody captured
- my audience's imagination
- 930
- 01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:36,644
- or their hearts like Clarence.
- 931
- 01:28:42,066 --> 01:28:43,359
- Clarence was...
- 932
- 01:28:44,068 --> 01:28:46,988
- Clarence was a figure
- out of a rock 'n' roll storybook,
- 933
- 01:28:47,071 --> 01:28:50,325
- and together, we told a story
- that was bigger than...
- 934
- 01:28:50,950 --> 01:28:53,411
- any of the ones I'd written in my songs.
- 935
- 01:28:53,494 --> 01:28:57,040
- It was the story where,
- not only did Scooter and the Big Man
- 936
- 01:28:57,123 --> 01:28:58,708
- bust the city in half...
- 937
- 01:28:59,584 --> 01:29:01,377
- but we remade the city.
- 938
- 01:29:02,337 --> 01:29:05,048
- We remade the city,
- shaping it into the kind of place
- 939
- 01:29:05,131 --> 01:29:09,802
- where our friendship
- and our love for one another
- 940
- 01:29:11,220 --> 01:29:13,556
- wouldn't have been
- such an exceptional thing.
- 941
- 01:29:15,099 --> 01:29:18,019
- First night I saw Clarence,
- he came walking out of the shadows
- 942
- 01:29:18,102 --> 01:29:19,312
- towards the bandstand,
- 943
- 01:29:19,395 --> 01:29:24,192
- nodded to me, got up,
- stood to my right for the very first time.
- 944
- 01:29:24,442 --> 01:29:26,486
- He picked up his saxophone.
- 945
- 01:29:27,445 --> 01:29:29,072
- And when he played...
- 946
- 01:29:36,412 --> 01:29:39,665
- When he played,
- he whispered that story in my ear.
- 947
- 01:29:42,585 --> 01:29:44,962
- And then we whispered it into your ear.
- 948
- 01:29:47,548 --> 01:29:50,718
- And we carried it together for a long...
- 949
- 01:29:53,179 --> 01:29:54,931
- a long, good time.
- 950
- 01:29:57,475 --> 01:29:59,936
- The Big Man was big.
- 951
- 01:30:01,145 --> 01:30:02,897
- Everything about him.
- 952
- 01:30:03,398 --> 01:30:06,984
- His personality, his size, his laugh...
- 953
- 01:30:07,568 --> 01:30:09,779
- the sound of his saxophone.
- 954
- 01:30:10,613 --> 01:30:14,158
- When I first heard it, I thought it was
- the biggest sound I ever heard.
- 955
- 01:30:15,618 --> 01:30:16,869
- And it was.
- 956
- 01:30:18,371 --> 01:30:23,334
- His heart and his problems,
- they were big.
- 957
- 01:30:27,380 --> 01:30:29,924
- But he was elemental in my life.
- 958
- 01:30:32,218 --> 01:30:34,720
- And losing him was like losing the rain.
- 959
- 01:30:53,739 --> 01:30:55,992
- If I were a mystic...
- 960
- 01:30:56,742 --> 01:30:59,620
- If I were a mystic,
- I guess Clarence and my's friendship
- 961
- 01:30:59,704 --> 01:31:03,082
- would lead me to believe
- that we-- we stood together
- 962
- 01:31:03,166 --> 01:31:04,709
- in other older times.
- 963
- 01:31:05,918 --> 01:31:07,003
- You know, in, uh...
- 964
- 01:31:07,503 --> 01:31:08,880
- in other lives.
- 965
- 01:31:10,089 --> 01:31:11,632
- Along other rivers.
- 966
- 01:31:13,885 --> 01:31:15,678
- In other ancient cities.
- 967
- 01:31:16,804 --> 01:31:18,347
- In other fields...
- 968
- 01:31:19,390 --> 01:31:21,225
- working side by side,
- 969
- 01:31:22,643 --> 01:31:24,187
- with the sun setting,
- 970
- 01:31:25,521 --> 01:31:28,191
- doing our modest version of God's work.
- 971
- 01:31:34,572 --> 01:31:36,824
- I'll see you in the next life, Big Man.
- 972
- 01:32:30,294 --> 01:32:33,714
- Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it
- for the biggest man you ever saw.
- 973
- 01:32:36,300 --> 01:32:41,138
- Clarence "Big Man" Clemons!
- 974
- 01:32:46,185 --> 01:32:48,145
- And the legendary...
- 975
- 01:32:50,815 --> 01:32:54,527
- - E...
- - Street Band!
- 976
- 01:32:55,695 --> 01:32:56,654
- That's it!
- 977
- 01:33:18,926 --> 01:33:23,472
- All right, all right,
- she is the queen of my heart!
- 978
- 01:33:24,807 --> 01:33:27,184
- She is my flaming beauty!
- 979
- 01:33:27,560 --> 01:33:30,021
- - Patricia!
- - My Jersey girl.
- 980
- 01:33:30,396 --> 01:33:31,939
- She is a great songwriter.
- 981
- 01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:34,442
- She's one of the loveliest voices
- I've ever heard.
- 982
- 01:33:34,525 --> 01:33:37,862
- She is smart, tough... but fragile.
- 983
- 01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:40,698
- Don't forget that part.
- 984
- 01:33:40,781 --> 01:33:43,909
- If we love those in whose company's
- reflected the best of us,
- 985
- 01:33:43,993 --> 01:33:46,245
- that's the light that she shines on me.
- 986
- 01:33:46,537 --> 01:33:49,790
- In 1984 one night, I'm hanging out
- at the Stone Pony
- 987
- 01:33:49,874 --> 01:33:54,879
- and this beautiful redhead shows up,
- sits in with the Sunday night house band.
- 988
- 01:33:55,379 --> 01:33:58,549
- And that is the night
- I fell in love with Patti's voice.
- 989
- 01:33:58,633 --> 01:34:01,093
- She got on stage, this blaze of red.
- 990
- 01:34:01,177 --> 01:34:04,972
- She performed a great version
- of The Exciters' hit song "Tell Him."
- 991
- 01:34:05,348 --> 01:34:12,063
- So the first line of the first song
- I ever heard Patti sing was...
- 992
- 01:34:19,487 --> 01:34:22,531
- She does. Ladies and gentlemen,
- Patti Scialfa.
- 993
- 01:34:36,295 --> 01:34:37,380
- Thank you.
- 994
- 01:39:14,281 --> 01:39:15,783
- Yeah, trust...
- 995
- 01:39:17,076 --> 01:39:19,703
- Trust in a relationship's a fragile thing.
- 996
- 01:39:20,955 --> 01:39:23,916
- Uh... Always been a little complicated
- for me
- 997
- 01:39:23,999 --> 01:39:26,377
- because trust requires allowing others
- 998
- 01:39:27,544 --> 01:39:31,548
- to see as much of our real selves
- as we have the courage to reveal.
- 999
- 01:39:32,758 --> 01:39:34,051
- But, I mean, uh...
- 1000
- 01:39:34,885 --> 01:39:37,429
- I don't want to see my real self.
- Why would...?
- 1001
- 01:39:38,305 --> 01:39:41,809
- - Why would others want to?
- - You know? But...
- 1002
- 01:39:41,892 --> 01:39:45,646
- But it means allowing others to see
- behind our many masks,
- 1003
- 01:39:46,313 --> 01:39:49,108
- the masks we wear, overcoming that fear.
- 1004
- 01:39:49,984 --> 01:39:52,987
- Or rather, learning how to love
- and how to trust in spite of it.
- 1005
- 01:39:53,737 --> 01:39:55,447
- That takes a little courage...
- 1006
- 01:39:56,115 --> 01:39:57,908
- and a very strong partner.
- 1007
- 01:39:58,867 --> 01:40:00,953
- 'Cause in this life,
- you make your choices,
- 1008
- 01:40:01,036 --> 01:40:02,204
- you take your stand,
- 1009
- 01:40:02,287 --> 01:40:05,541
- and you awaken
- from that youthful spell of immortality
- 1010
- 01:40:05,624 --> 01:40:08,419
- where it feels like the road
- is gonna go on forever.
- 1011
- 01:40:09,837 --> 01:40:15,634
- And you walk alongside your chosen partner
- with the clock ticking.
- 1012
- 01:40:16,635 --> 01:40:21,473
- And you recognize that life is finite,
- that you've got just so much time.
- 1013
- 01:40:22,057 --> 01:40:23,475
- And so together...
- 1014
- 01:40:24,184 --> 01:40:27,771
- you name the things that will give
- your life in that time its meaning,
- 1015
- 01:40:29,064 --> 01:40:32,735
- its purpose, its fullness,
- its very reality.
- 1016
- 01:40:33,944 --> 01:40:36,947
- And this is what you build together.
- This is...
- 1017
- 01:40:38,198 --> 01:40:40,284
- what your love consists of.
- 1018
- 01:40:41,160 --> 01:40:42,911
- This is what you...
- 1019
- 01:40:44,329 --> 01:40:46,373
- This is your life, you know?
- 1020
- 01:40:47,332 --> 01:40:50,586
- And these are things
- that you can hold onto
- 1021
- 01:40:51,253 --> 01:40:52,880
- when the storms come,
- 1022
- 01:40:54,298 --> 01:40:55,466
- as they will.
- 1023
- 01:45:28,447 --> 01:45:30,198
- Patti Scialfa!
- 1024
- 01:45:31,867 --> 01:45:33,577
- She's a badass!
- 1025
- 01:45:44,755 --> 01:45:47,132
- Gonna add this song to our set tonight.
- 1026
- 01:45:48,050 --> 01:45:52,804
- All right, this is the final days
- of Patti's first pregnancy.
- 1027
- 01:45:53,555 --> 01:45:58,477
- I receive a surprise visit
- from my father at my home in LA.
- 1028
- 01:45:58,560 --> 01:46:01,438
- You know, he had driven 500 miles,
- unannounced,
- 1029
- 01:46:02,022 --> 01:46:03,523
- to knock on my door.
- 1030
- 01:46:04,608 --> 01:46:05,859
- That's his style.
- 1031
- 01:46:06,485 --> 01:46:08,487
- So at 11:00 a.m., we sit
- 1032
- 01:46:08,570 --> 01:46:11,907
- in the sunlit dining room
- and we're nursing morning beers.
- 1033
- 01:46:13,241 --> 01:46:15,327
- That's his style.
- 1034
- 01:46:15,410 --> 01:46:17,746
- It's my father's breakfast of champions.
- 1035
- 01:46:18,789 --> 01:46:24,294
- When my dad, never a talkative man,
- right, blurted out,
- 1036
- 01:46:25,045 --> 01:46:26,630
- "You've been very good to us."
- 1037
- 01:46:27,798 --> 01:46:31,551
- And I nodded that I had, you know?
- And, uh...
- 1038
- 01:46:33,178 --> 01:46:36,098
- And then he says,
- "And I wasn't very good to you."
- 1039
- 01:46:39,059 --> 01:46:41,728
- And the room just...
- 1040
- 01:46:44,815 --> 01:46:46,942
- well, stood still...
- 1041
- 01:46:48,110 --> 01:46:52,239
- as to my shock, the unacknowledgeable
- was being acknowledged.
- 1042
- 01:46:52,322 --> 01:46:53,156
- If I...
- 1043
- 01:46:54,199 --> 01:46:57,160
- If I didn't know better,
- I would have sworn an apology...
- 1044
- 01:46:58,120 --> 01:47:00,080
- of some sort was being made.
- 1045
- 01:47:01,081 --> 01:47:02,249
- And it was.
- 1046
- 01:47:03,333 --> 01:47:06,503
- Here in the last days, before I was...
- 1047
- 01:47:07,838 --> 01:47:11,299
- to become a father,
- my own father was visiting me...
- 1048
- 01:47:12,717 --> 01:47:15,220
- to warn me of the mistakes
- that he had made,
- 1049
- 01:47:16,054 --> 01:47:19,057
- and to warn me not to make them
- with my own children.
- 1050
- 01:47:20,559 --> 01:47:24,020
- To release them
- from the chain of our sins,
- 1051
- 01:47:24,104 --> 01:47:27,399
- my father's and mine
- and our fathers' before.
- 1052
- 01:47:28,733 --> 01:47:30,444
- That they may be free...
- 1053
- 01:47:31,153 --> 01:47:34,364
- to make their own choices
- and to live their own lives.
- 1054
- 01:47:36,241 --> 01:47:41,329
- We are ghosts or we are ancestors
- in our children's lives.
- 1055
- 01:47:42,247 --> 01:47:46,084
- We either lay our mistakes,
- our burdens upon them
- 1056
- 01:47:46,543 --> 01:47:47,961
- and we haunt them.
- 1057
- 01:47:49,129 --> 01:47:52,632
- Or we assist them in laying
- those old burdens down,
- 1058
- 01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:57,554
- and we free them from the chain
- of our own flawed behavior.
- 1059
- 01:47:58,763 --> 01:48:02,559
- And as ancestors,
- we walk alongside of them,
- 1060
- 01:48:03,268 --> 01:48:06,062
- and we assist them
- in finding their own way
- 1061
- 01:48:06,688 --> 01:48:08,440
- and some transcendence.
- 1062
- 01:48:09,608 --> 01:48:11,026
- My father...
- 1063
- 01:48:12,611 --> 01:48:16,364
- on that day, was petitioning me
- 1064
- 01:48:17,240 --> 01:48:20,285
- for an ancestral role in my life
- 1065
- 01:48:20,368 --> 01:48:24,706
- after being a ghost for a long, long time.
- 1066
- 01:48:25,957 --> 01:48:30,754
- He wanted me to write
- a new end to our relationship,
- 1067
- 01:48:31,046 --> 01:48:34,841
- and he wanted me to be ready
- for the new beginning
- 1068
- 01:48:35,759 --> 01:48:37,969
- that I was about to experience.
- 1069
- 01:48:42,599 --> 01:48:45,519
- It was the greatest moment
- in my life with my dad.
- 1070
- 01:48:46,353 --> 01:48:48,188
- And it was all that I needed.
- 1071
- 01:48:56,321 --> 01:48:58,198
- Yeah.
- 1072
- 01:52:47,802 --> 01:52:48,887
- All right.
- 1073
- 01:52:49,888 --> 01:52:52,599
- I never believed that people come
- to my shows
- 1074
- 01:52:52,682 --> 01:52:55,477
- or to rock shows in general
- to be told anything.
- 1075
- 01:52:57,896 --> 01:52:58,730
- But...
- 1076
- 01:52:59,481 --> 01:53:02,108
- I do believe that they come
- to be reminded of things,
- 1077
- 01:53:02,192 --> 01:53:04,986
- to be reminded of who they are
- at their most joyous,
- 1078
- 01:53:05,069 --> 01:53:07,322
- at their deepest when life feels full.
- 1079
- 01:53:07,864 --> 01:53:10,408
- It's a good place to get in touch
- with your heart and your spirit.
- 1080
- 01:53:10,492 --> 01:53:12,285
- It's good to be amongst the crowd,
- 1081
- 01:53:12,869 --> 01:53:15,622
- be reminded of who we are
- and who we can be collectively.
- 1082
- 01:53:15,705 --> 01:53:17,916
- Music does those things pretty well.
- 1083
- 01:53:18,458 --> 01:53:21,669
- Sometimes, they can come in pretty handy.
- 1084
- 01:53:22,587 --> 01:53:24,964
- And particularly these days,
- when some reminding
- 1085
- 01:53:25,548 --> 01:53:28,426
- of who we are and who we can be
- isn't such a bad thing.
- 1086
- 01:53:28,510 --> 01:53:29,552
- You know?
- 1087
- 01:53:36,810 --> 01:53:40,730
- I-- I refer back to the weekend
- of the March for Our Lives
- 1088
- 01:53:40,814 --> 01:53:43,233
- when we saw all those young people
- in Washington,
- 1089
- 01:53:43,316 --> 01:53:45,318
- and citizens all around the country,
- 1090
- 01:53:45,401 --> 01:53:48,029
- remind us of what faith in America
- 1091
- 01:53:48,112 --> 01:53:50,698
- and what real faith in American democracy
- 1092
- 01:53:51,241 --> 01:53:53,201
- and how sacred that is.
- 1093
- 01:54:00,416 --> 01:54:01,543
- You know...
- 1094
- 01:54:02,752 --> 01:54:07,298
- that weekend, you just saw
- what it actually looked and felt like.
- 1095
- 01:54:07,882 --> 01:54:09,467
- It was just encouraging
- 1096
- 01:54:10,093 --> 01:54:12,428
- to see all those people out on the street
- 1097
- 01:54:12,512 --> 01:54:16,599
- and all that righteous passion alive
- in the service of something good.
- 1098
- 01:54:17,517 --> 01:54:19,185
- To see it's still there,
- 1099
- 01:54:20,186 --> 01:54:22,939
- at the center of the beating heart
- of our country...
- 1100
- 01:54:24,148 --> 01:54:25,233
- and...
- 1101
- 01:54:26,901 --> 01:54:29,946
- in spite of what we've been going through.
- And it was a good day, you know?
- 1102
- 01:54:30,029 --> 01:54:31,239
- It was just...
- 1103
- 01:54:31,948 --> 01:54:33,741
- it was just one good day.
- 1104
- 01:54:34,784 --> 01:54:36,744
- But it was a necessary day.
- 1105
- 01:54:37,370 --> 01:54:40,790
- Because these are times
- when we've also seen folks marching,
- 1106
- 01:54:40,874 --> 01:54:46,045
- and in the highest offices of our land,
- who want to speak to our darkest angels,
- 1107
- 01:54:46,379 --> 01:54:50,091
- who want to call up the ugliest
- and the most divisive ghosts
- 1108
- 01:54:50,174 --> 01:54:53,928
- of America's past.
- And they want to destroy the idea
- 1109
- 01:54:54,012 --> 01:54:56,764
- of an America for all.
- That's their intention.
- 1110
- 01:54:57,307 --> 01:54:59,517
- That's what we've been seeing,
- in the outrage
- 1111
- 01:54:59,601 --> 01:55:01,978
- of the broken families on the border,
- 1112
- 01:55:02,061 --> 01:55:07,191
- and in hate-filled marches
- on American streets this year.
- 1113
- 01:55:07,567 --> 01:55:13,364
- Things I never thought
- I would see again in my lifetime.
- 1114
- 01:55:13,448 --> 01:55:17,327
- Things that I thought
- were dead and gone...
- 1115
- 01:55:18,036 --> 01:55:21,331
- forever, on the ash heap of history.
- 1116
- 01:55:22,123 --> 01:55:23,249
- You know...
- 1117
- 01:55:24,626 --> 01:55:26,920
- We've come too far and worked too hard,
- 1118
- 01:55:27,003 --> 01:55:30,590
- too many good people paid
- too high a price,
- 1119
- 01:55:31,132 --> 01:55:35,678
- paid with their lives,
- to allow this to happen now.
- 1120
- 01:55:36,846 --> 01:55:38,723
- You know...
- 1121
- 01:55:39,641 --> 01:55:42,936
- There's been too much hard work done,
- 1122
- 01:55:43,853 --> 01:55:45,146
- and sacrifice.
- 1123
- 01:55:46,940 --> 01:55:48,858
- There's a beautiful quote by Dr. King
- 1124
- 01:55:48,942 --> 01:55:51,027
- that says,
- "The arc of the moral universe is long,
- 1125
- 01:55:51,110 --> 01:55:52,737
- but it bends toward justice."
- 1126
- 01:55:53,488 --> 01:55:57,533
- It is important to believe in those words
- and to carry yourself
- 1127
- 01:55:58,117 --> 01:56:01,454
- and to act accordingly,
- to live with compassion.
- 1128
- 01:56:02,455 --> 01:56:05,166
- And to have faith
- in that what we're seeing now,
- 1129
- 01:56:05,750 --> 01:56:07,627
- it's just another hard chapter...
- 1130
- 01:56:08,544 --> 01:56:11,464
- in the long, long, ongoing battle
- 1131
- 01:56:12,465 --> 01:56:14,175
- for the soul of the nation.
- 1132
- 02:05:24,934 --> 02:05:28,437
- I always--
- I always thought I was a typical American,
- 1133
- 02:05:28,521 --> 02:05:31,857
- and so I fought my whole life,
- and I studied and I played
- 1134
- 02:05:31,941 --> 02:05:33,734
- and I worked,
- 1135
- 02:05:33,817 --> 02:05:37,404
- 'cause I wanted to hear and I wanted
- to know the whole American story.
- 1136
- 02:05:38,489 --> 02:05:41,825
- I wanted to know my story
- and your story.
- 1137
- 02:05:42,743 --> 02:05:45,538
- I felt like I needed to understand
- as much of it as I could
- 1138
- 02:05:45,621 --> 02:05:47,581
- in order to understand myself.
- 1139
- 02:05:48,290 --> 02:05:50,334
- You know? Who was I? And...
- 1140
- 02:05:51,627 --> 02:05:54,046
- where I came from and what that meant.
- 1141
- 02:05:54,880 --> 02:05:58,300
- What did it mean to my family?
- Where was I going?
- 1142
- 02:05:59,426 --> 02:06:01,762
- Where were we going together
- as a people?
- 1143
- 02:06:02,346 --> 02:06:05,474
- And-- and what did it mean
- to be an American?
- 1144
- 02:06:05,975 --> 02:06:11,689
- And to be a part of that story
- in this place and in this time.
- 1145
- 02:06:12,815 --> 02:06:16,193
- I wanted to be able to celebrate
- and honor its beauty,
- 1146
- 02:06:17,570 --> 02:06:18,779
- its power.
- 1147
- 02:06:19,697 --> 02:06:21,949
- And I wanted to be able
- to be a critical voice
- 1148
- 02:06:22,032 --> 02:06:24,910
- when I thought that
- that's what the times called for.
- 1149
- 02:06:25,536 --> 02:06:26,954
- But most of all,
- 1150
- 02:06:27,037 --> 02:06:31,000
- more than anything else, I wanted
- to be able to tell that story well to you.
- 1151
- 02:06:32,418 --> 02:06:34,920
- That was my young promise to myself.
- 1152
- 02:06:35,588 --> 02:06:37,756
- And this was my young promise to you.
- 1153
- 02:06:38,215 --> 02:06:40,426
- From when I was a very young man,
- 1154
- 02:06:41,176 --> 02:06:43,262
- I took my fun very seriously.
- 1155
- 02:06:43,345 --> 02:06:45,180
- You know?
- 1156
- 02:06:45,264 --> 02:06:47,975
- And this is what I have pursued
- as my service.
- 1157
- 02:06:48,058 --> 02:06:51,937
- I still believe in it as such.
- This is what I've presented to you
- 1158
- 02:06:52,021 --> 02:06:55,524
- all these years
- as my long and noisy prayer,
- 1159
- 02:06:55,608 --> 02:06:58,986
- as my magic trick.
- 1160
- 02:07:04,950 --> 02:07:06,201
- I wanted...
- 1161
- 02:07:06,952 --> 02:07:10,414
- I wanted to rock your very soul!
- 1162
- 02:07:10,914 --> 02:07:14,960
- And have you bring it home
- and pass it on and...
- 1163
- 02:07:15,544 --> 02:07:20,549
- I wanted it to be sung and altered by you
- and your folks and your children,
- 1164
- 02:07:20,633 --> 02:07:21,967
- should they be interested.
- 1165
- 02:07:22,885 --> 02:07:25,429
- I wanted it to be something
- that you could call on
- 1166
- 02:07:25,512 --> 02:07:27,181
- when things were good.
- 1167
- 02:07:28,140 --> 02:07:29,016
- And, uh...
- 1168
- 02:07:29,975 --> 02:07:31,894
- and when things were not so good.
- 1169
- 02:07:32,811 --> 02:07:36,523
- You know, that it might strengthen,
- help make sense of...
- 1170
- 02:07:37,149 --> 02:07:40,569
- your story and your life the way
- that you strengthen me and help me
- 1171
- 02:07:40,653 --> 02:07:43,614
- make sense of my life.
- You've provided me with purpose,
- 1172
- 02:07:44,239 --> 02:07:47,868
- with meaning and with a great,
- great amount of joy.
- 1173
- 02:07:48,369 --> 02:07:49,828
- I hope I've done that for you
- 1174
- 02:07:49,912 --> 02:07:52,373
- and that I've been
- a good traveling companion.
- 1175
- 02:07:56,960 --> 02:08:01,548
- Remember that the future
- is not yet written.
- 1176
- 02:08:02,049 --> 02:08:07,680
- So when things look dark,
- do as my mighty mom would insist,
- 1177
- 02:08:08,097 --> 02:08:11,975
- lace up your dancing shoes
- and get to work.
- 1178
- 02:10:12,763 --> 02:10:14,640
- There's a joke here somewhere.
- 1179
- 02:10:15,849 --> 02:10:17,935
- When I figure it out, I'll let you know.
- 1180
- 02:15:48,849 --> 02:15:50,142
- Whoo!
- 1181
- 02:16:12,789 --> 02:16:14,082
- Thank you.
- 1182
- 02:16:14,416 --> 02:16:15,667
- Please...
- 1183
- 02:16:16,251 --> 02:16:19,045
- be seated.
- 1184
- 02:16:19,713 --> 02:16:23,592
- It was a beautiful fall November evening.
- It was during the writing of my book.
- 1185
- 02:16:23,967 --> 02:16:26,678
- I drove back to my neighborhood
- where I grew up,
- 1186
- 02:16:27,554 --> 02:16:28,889
- looking for, uh...
- 1187
- 02:16:31,850 --> 02:16:33,560
- I still don't have a fucking clue.
- 1188
- 02:16:33,643 --> 02:16:35,353
- All right?
- 1189
- 02:16:35,437 --> 02:16:36,771
- But, uh...
- 1190
- 02:16:37,689 --> 02:16:39,774
- All I know is the streets were dead empty
- 1191
- 02:16:39,858 --> 02:16:44,529
- and the whole place looked
- like it had been locked down since 1955.
- 1192
- 02:16:45,447 --> 02:16:47,782
- My corner church was silent and unchanged,
- 1193
- 02:16:47,866 --> 02:16:50,118
- no weddings, no funerals. I...
- 1194
- 02:16:50,577 --> 02:16:53,455
- rolled slowly another 50 yards up my block
- 1195
- 02:16:53,538 --> 02:16:56,208
- to visit my great tree, and it was gone.
- 1196
- 02:16:57,584 --> 02:17:02,005
- It had been cut to the street
- since the last time I had drove through.
- 1197
- 02:17:02,797 --> 02:17:06,176
- So I got out of the car
- and I looked down and there was a...
- 1198
- 02:17:06,927 --> 02:17:11,097
- square of musty earth that held
- the remaining snakes of its roots
- 1199
- 02:17:11,181 --> 02:17:13,058
- on the edge of a parking lot.
- 1200
- 02:17:13,516 --> 02:17:16,728
- So I reached down and I picked up
- a handful of dirt
- 1201
- 02:17:17,103 --> 02:17:19,522
- and I just kind of ran it
- through my hands.
- 1202
- 02:17:20,774 --> 02:17:23,151
- And my heart sank like...
- 1203
- 02:17:24,110 --> 02:17:26,947
- like a kid who had suffered
- some irretrievable loss.
- 1204
- 02:17:27,030 --> 02:17:28,448
- You know, like some...
- 1205
- 02:17:29,824 --> 02:17:32,827
- some piece of me was gone.
- 1206
- 02:17:34,913 --> 02:17:36,206
- Um...
- 1207
- 02:17:38,416 --> 02:17:40,835
- I don't know. I guess I...
- 1208
- 02:17:43,338 --> 02:17:46,091
- It was just it had been there
- long before I was.
- 1209
- 02:17:46,174 --> 02:17:49,177
- I assumed it would be there
- long after I was gone.
- 1210
- 02:17:49,261 --> 02:17:51,054
- And I liked that.
- 1211
- 02:17:51,846 --> 02:17:53,723
- It-- It felt eternal.
- 1212
- 02:17:54,307 --> 02:17:58,687
- It was at the center of our street
- and it had rooted
- 1213
- 02:17:59,854 --> 02:18:03,817
- our neighborhood for so long.
- 1214
- 02:18:04,734 --> 02:18:07,821
- So I sat there for a while
- just cursing the county.
- 1215
- 02:18:08,655 --> 02:18:11,157
- And listening to the sounds
- of the evening come on,
- 1216
- 02:18:11,241 --> 02:18:14,244
- and I looked again
- and I realized it was gone, but some...
- 1217
- 02:18:15,245 --> 02:18:17,497
- some essential piece of it
- was still there,
- 1218
- 02:18:17,580 --> 02:18:20,166
- the air and the space above its roots.
- 1219
- 02:18:20,792 --> 02:18:25,005
- I could still feel the life
- and the soul and the light
- 1220
- 02:18:25,964 --> 02:18:28,174
- of my childhood friend there.
- 1221
- 02:18:29,467 --> 02:18:32,429
- It's just that its leaves, its branches
- and its massive trunk
- 1222
- 02:18:32,512 --> 02:18:36,599
- were now outlined, shot through,
- 1223
- 02:18:37,392 --> 02:18:40,103
- by evening stars and sky.
- 1224
- 02:18:41,271 --> 02:18:45,483
- But my great tree's life couldn't be ended
- or erased so easily
- 1225
- 02:18:46,234 --> 02:18:48,361
- from this place, because it's history,
- 1226
- 02:18:49,154 --> 02:18:50,488
- and history matters.
- 1227
- 02:18:51,531 --> 02:18:53,450
- Its imprint was too great.
- 1228
- 02:18:53,533 --> 02:18:57,495
- It was too old and it was too strong,
- and it had been there too long...
- 1229
- 02:18:58,413 --> 02:19:00,415
- to be done away with so easily.
- 1230
- 02:19:00,498 --> 02:19:02,125
- It had stood witness
- 1231
- 02:19:02,959 --> 02:19:07,881
- to everything that had happened
- on these small streets beneath its arms.
- 1232
- 02:19:08,590 --> 02:19:09,883
- All the joy...
- 1233
- 02:19:11,134 --> 02:19:12,677
- and all the heartbreak.
- 1234
- 02:19:14,304 --> 02:19:15,764
- And all the life.
- 1235
- 02:19:18,308 --> 02:19:23,396
- And we live amongst ghosts,
- always trying to reach us...
- 1236
- 02:19:25,732 --> 02:19:27,400
- from that shadow world.
- 1237
- 02:19:28,360 --> 02:19:30,570
- They're with us every step of the way.
- 1238
- 02:19:31,780 --> 02:19:34,282
- You know,
- my dead father's still with me every day.
- 1239
- 02:19:34,366 --> 02:19:36,785
- I miss him, and if I had a wish...
- 1240
- 02:19:38,286 --> 02:19:39,746
- Oh, man...
- 1241
- 02:19:41,748 --> 02:19:44,167
- I wish he could have been here
- to see this.
- 1242
- 02:19:47,962 --> 02:19:50,882
- But I visit with him every night.
- 1243
- 02:19:52,050 --> 02:19:55,011
- A little bit. That's a grace-filled thing.
- 1244
- 02:19:55,095 --> 02:19:56,930
- And Clarence, I get to...
- 1245
- 02:19:57,931 --> 02:20:01,226
- I get to see and be with Clarence
- a little bit every night.
- 1246
- 02:20:02,602 --> 02:20:03,895
- And Danny...
- 1247
- 02:20:04,562 --> 02:20:05,605
- Walter,
- 1248
- 02:20:06,731 --> 02:20:07,774
- and Bart.
- 1249
- 02:20:07,857 --> 02:20:10,568
- My own family, so many of them gone...
- 1250
- 02:20:11,361 --> 02:20:15,240
- from these houses that are now filled
- by strangers, but the soul...
- 1251
- 02:20:15,907 --> 02:20:17,742
- the soul is a stubborn thing.
- 1252
- 02:20:18,993 --> 02:20:21,204
- It doesn't dissipate so quickly.
- 1253
- 02:20:21,287 --> 02:20:22,956
- Souls remain.
- 1254
- 02:20:24,040 --> 02:20:26,042
- They remain here in the air,
- 1255
- 02:20:26,668 --> 02:20:28,211
- in empty space,
- 1256
- 02:20:28,920 --> 02:20:30,296
- dusty roots,
- 1257
- 02:20:31,089 --> 02:20:33,675
- in sidewalks
- that I knew every single inch of
- 1258
- 02:20:33,758 --> 02:20:35,635
- like I knew my own body
- 1259
- 02:20:36,261 --> 02:20:37,429
- as a child...
- 1260
- 02:20:39,514 --> 02:20:41,766
- and in the songs that we sing.
- 1261
- 02:20:44,853 --> 02:20:47,772
- You know... That is why we sing.
- 1262
- 02:20:49,566 --> 02:20:52,527
- We sing for our blood and for our people.
- 1263
- 02:20:54,404 --> 02:20:57,532
- Because that's all we have
- at the end of the day.
- 1264
- 02:21:01,703 --> 02:21:03,121
- Each other, and...
- 1265
- 02:21:03,746 --> 02:21:06,207
- maybe that's what I'm looking for
- when I go down there.
- 1266
- 02:21:06,291 --> 02:21:08,042
- I just want to commune...
- 1267
- 02:21:09,043 --> 02:21:10,628
- with the old spirits,
- 1268
- 02:21:11,713 --> 02:21:13,465
- stand in their presence,
- 1269
- 02:21:14,007 --> 02:21:15,925
- feel their hands on me...
- 1270
- 02:21:23,516 --> 02:21:24,893
- one more time.
- 1271
- 02:21:28,646 --> 02:21:32,233
- Anyway, once again, I stood in the shadow
- of my old church, you know?
- 1272
- 02:21:32,317 --> 02:21:34,611
- You know what they say about Catholics?
- 1273
- 02:21:35,778 --> 02:21:38,865
- Yeah, there's no getting out.
- 1274
- 02:21:38,948 --> 02:21:42,577
- No, no. You know,
- once they got you, they got you.
- 1275
- 02:21:42,660 --> 02:21:45,497
- The bastards got you
- when the gettin' was good.
- 1276
- 02:21:46,080 --> 02:21:49,042
- They did their work hard
- and they did it well.
- 1277
- 02:21:50,835 --> 02:21:54,839
- 'Cause the words of a very strange
- but all too familiar benediction
- 1278
- 02:21:54,923 --> 02:21:57,800
- came back to me that evening.
- 1279
- 02:21:58,468 --> 02:22:01,095
- And I want to tell you,
- these were words that as a kid,
- 1280
- 02:22:01,179 --> 02:22:04,599
- I mumbled these things,
- I singsonged them,
- 1281
- 02:22:04,682 --> 02:22:08,895
- I... chanted them,
- bored out of my fucking mind
- 1282
- 02:22:08,978 --> 02:22:11,898
- in an endless drone before class
- 1283
- 02:22:11,981 --> 02:22:15,568
- every fucking day.
- 1284
- 02:22:15,652 --> 02:22:19,489
- Every day, the green blazer,
- the green tie, the green trousers,
- 1285
- 02:22:19,572 --> 02:22:23,993
- the green socks of all
- of St. Rose's unwilling disciples.
- 1286
- 02:22:28,081 --> 02:22:29,165
- You know?
- 1287
- 02:22:29,666 --> 02:22:31,626
- But for some damn reason
- 1288
- 02:22:32,669 --> 02:22:35,880
- as I sat there on my street that night,
- 1289
- 02:22:37,465 --> 02:22:41,177
- you know, mourning, mourning my old tree,
- 1290
- 02:22:42,136 --> 02:22:44,889
- and once again surrounded by God,
- 1291
- 02:22:46,516 --> 02:22:49,894
- those were the words that came back
- to me and they flowed differently.
- 1292
- 02:22:52,939 --> 02:22:56,442
- It was "Our Father, who art in Heaven,
- hallowed be thy name,
- 1293
- 02:22:56,776 --> 02:22:58,319
- thy kingdom come,
- 1294
- 02:22:59,612 --> 02:23:01,823
- thy will be done on this Earth
- 1295
- 02:23:02,574 --> 02:23:04,033
- as it is in Heaven.
- 1296
- 02:23:05,243 --> 02:23:07,161
- Give us this day.
- 1297
- 02:23:07,996 --> 02:23:10,582
- Just give us this day, and forgive us
- 1298
- 02:23:11,583 --> 02:23:14,127
- our sins, our trespasses,
- 1299
- 02:23:14,210 --> 02:23:17,547
- as we may forgive those
- who trespass against us.
- 1300
- 02:23:17,964 --> 02:23:21,676
- Lead us not into temptation
- but deliver us from evil,
- 1301
- 02:23:22,093 --> 02:23:23,386
- all of us,
- 1302
- 02:23:24,804 --> 02:23:26,806
- forever and ever. Amen."
- 1303
- 02:23:35,315 --> 02:23:40,111
- May God bless you, your family,
- and all those that you love.
- 1304
- 02:23:40,737 --> 02:23:42,739
- And thanks for coming out tonight.
- 1305
- 02:27:56,868 --> 02:27:59,871
- Bruce!
- 1306
- 02:28:01,747 --> 02:28:02,623
- Thank you.
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