dead2

0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:22,067
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

2
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Subtitles by explosiveskull

3
00:00:54,666 --> 00:00:57,633
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

4
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,198
LESLIE: I could
push you, if you want.

5
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,800
Jesus Fuck!

6
00:01:33,698 --> 00:01:34,531
LESLIE: You
should be careful.

7
00:01:34,533 --> 00:01:35,600
You could kill yourself.

8
00:01:37,299 --> 00:01:38,133
Can I watch?

9
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,697
You can't stop me.

10
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:41,967
LESLIE: No I wouldn't try.

11
00:01:44,532 --> 00:01:46,563
Can I ask why you're doing this?

12
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,564
I mean jumping off a bridge?

13
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:51,696
WILLIAM: Look, I
don't mean to be rude,

14
00:01:51,698 --> 00:01:53,166
but could you, you know...

15
00:01:54,299 --> 00:01:55,664
LESLIE: Oh, sure, sure.

16
00:01:55,666 --> 00:01:56,600
Yes, yes.

17
00:01:58,533 --> 00:02:01,201
(THUNDER CRASHING)

18
00:02:02,698 --> 00:02:05,666
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

19
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,499
Are you going to be long?

20
00:02:15,532 --> 00:02:16,163
Duh!

21
00:02:16,165 --> 00:02:17,564
You've ruined the mood.

22
00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:19,164
LESLIE: I'm here to help you.

23
00:02:19,166 --> 00:02:21,898
WILLIAM: You can help
me by leaving me alone.

24
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:22,831
LESLIE: Sure?

25
00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:23,699
I could make this much easier.

26
00:02:24,899 --> 00:02:25,732
No?

27
00:02:26,832 --> 00:02:29,597
Well, it's your death.

28
00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:31,201
Here, I've got a card.

29
00:02:32,866 --> 00:02:33,700
There you are.

30
00:02:35,132 --> 00:02:36,165
If you need any help.

31
00:02:36,167 --> 00:02:40,596
Look, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,

32
00:02:40,598 --> 00:02:41,233
but

33
00:02:43,699 --> 00:02:44,599
I'm past help.

34
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,600
LESLIE: Yes, well,

35
00:02:49,832 --> 00:02:50,666
good luck.

36
00:02:55,832 --> 00:02:57,966
(SIGHING)

37
00:02:59,732 --> 00:03:03,566
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

38
00:03:21,099 --> 00:03:25,466
(dramatic orchestral
music rising

39
00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:33,297
(ALL SCREAMING)

40
00:03:33,299 --> 00:03:35,664
(DISCO MUSIC)

41
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:37,900
(GROANING)

42
00:03:43,065 --> 00:03:43,900
Hell.

43
00:03:45,299 --> 00:03:48,233
(WOMAN VOCALIZING)

44
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,700
MICHAEL: And you
didn't look down?

45
00:03:55,732 --> 00:03:56,866
WILLIAM: I had my eyes shut.

46
00:03:58,066 --> 00:04:00,967
MICHAEL: In a way
you're very unlucky.

47
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,566
And what prompted this time?

48
00:04:06,065 --> 00:04:07,763
Must be something.

49
00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:08,699
You can tell me.

50
00:04:10,232 --> 00:04:11,963
Our lives are
a futile struggle

51
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:14,233
to make sense of the senseless.

52
00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:16,100
Oh William.

53
00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:19,596
You can see my predicament.

54
00:04:19,598 --> 00:04:20,731
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

55
00:04:20,733 --> 00:04:22,897
One of my lifeguards
is suicidal.

56
00:04:22,899 --> 00:04:24,467
That's hardly reassuring.

57
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,199
I'm really trying to
understand William-

58
00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:34,964
you're not the only one
with problems you know.

59
00:04:34,966 --> 00:04:37,630
Yeah, the world is shit.

60
00:04:37,632 --> 00:04:39,229
But if you stare
all day at the shit

61
00:04:39,231 --> 00:04:42,033
then there's no wonder
you can only see shit.

62
00:04:43,265 --> 00:04:44,563
The trick is to find something

63
00:04:44,565 --> 00:04:45,866
that makes it appear bearable.

64
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,196
You've got the
gun in your mouth,

65
00:04:48,198 --> 00:04:50,564
your finger on the
trigger but you think,

66
00:04:50,566 --> 00:04:51,666
"I've never eaten a Twix."

67
00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:56,563
What?

68
00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:57,497
It's about finding something

69
00:04:57,499 --> 00:04:59,466
to distract you from
the terrible reality.

70
00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:02,263
Like this job.

71
00:05:02,265 --> 00:05:03,664
I work in a leisure center.

72
00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:05,664
You're a lifeguard!

73
00:05:05,666 --> 00:05:08,596
What could be more important
than saving people's lives?

74
00:05:08,598 --> 00:05:10,531
But when did I
last save someone?

75
00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:11,163
Last year.

76
00:05:11,165 --> 00:05:12,098
Mrs Richards.

77
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:13,663
She was in the shallow end.

78
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:15,131
She was in distress.

79
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:16,596
She could put her feet down.

80
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:17,731
But she didn't.

81
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:20,233
She was panicking
and you saved her.

82
00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:23,697
(SIGHING)

83
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:24,900
That's the problem, William.

84
00:05:26,232 --> 00:05:28,133
Besides your
questionable attitude,

85
00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:31,767
you need to be here!

86
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,700
I don't think you're
suited to this profession.

87
00:05:38,532 --> 00:05:39,632
We have to let you go.

88
00:05:40,566 --> 00:05:41,296
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

89
00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:42,766
Think of this as a good thing.

90
00:05:43,832 --> 00:05:45,766
Now you can concentrate
on your writing.

91
00:06:15,099 --> 00:06:18,531
(LIGHT POP MUSIC)

92
00:06:18,533 --> 00:06:20,664
(DOOR CLOSING)

93
00:06:20,666 --> 00:06:23,566
(ENVELOPE RIPPING)

94
00:06:28,064 --> 00:06:31,797
♪ Running just as fast we can ♪

95
00:06:31,799 --> 00:06:34,931
♪ Holding onto one
another's hand ♪

96
00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:37,731
♪ Trying to get away
into the night ♪

97
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:39,897
♪ And then you put
your arms around me ♪

98
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:44,229
♪ And we tumble to the
ground and then we say ♪

99
00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:46,530
♪ I think we're alone now ♪

100
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:50,564
♪ There doesn't seem
to be anyone around ♪

101
00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,697
♪ I think we're alone now ♪

102
00:06:52,699 --> 00:06:57,700
♪ The beating of our
hearts is the only sound ♪

103
00:07:06,031 --> 00:07:08,531
♪ Look at the way ♪

104
00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:11,197
♪ We gotta hide
what we're doing ♪

105
00:07:11,199 --> 00:07:12,830
(GAS HISSING)

106
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,964
♪ What would they say ♪

107
00:07:15,966 --> 00:07:17,696
♪ If they ever knew ♪

108
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:21,930
♪ And so we're running
just as fast as we can ♪

109
00:07:21,932 --> 00:07:24,631
♪ Holding onto one
another's hand ♪

110
00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:26,530
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

111
00:07:26,532 --> 00:07:28,531
♪ Trying to get away
into the night ♪

112
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:30,831
♪ And then you put
your arms around me ♪

113
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,264
♪ And we tumble to the ground ♪

114
00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:33,696
♪ And then we say ♪

115
00:07:33,698 --> 00:07:34,830
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Thank you for calling

116
00:07:34,832 --> 00:07:37,664
NRG gas and electrical supplies.

117
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,596
If you've been disconnected
due to an unpaid bill,

118
00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:41,563
please press one.

119
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:42,197
(PHONE BEEPING)

120
00:07:42,199 --> 00:07:43,500
Yes, I was away.

121
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,699
No I was hoping it
would be permanent.

122
00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,467
No I wasn't trying...

123
00:07:52,031 --> 00:07:54,062
(SIGHING)

124
00:07:54,064 --> 00:07:57,766
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

125
00:08:06,031 --> 00:08:10,897
♪ You're cold and you're old ♪

126
00:08:10,899 --> 00:08:15,899
♪ You're older and you're down ♪

127
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:21,966
♪ Friends you have chosen ♪

128
00:08:22,866 --> 00:08:27,567
♪ And ties you have woven ♪

129
00:08:28,598 --> 00:08:32,664
♪ No longer for you ♪

130
00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:35,066
♪ I'm behind ♪

131
00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:56,564
Mr O'Neil?

132
00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:58,633
(COUGHING)

133
00:09:06,198 --> 00:09:07,697
Mr O'Neil?

134
00:09:07,699 --> 00:09:09,663
I said 11 o'clock.

135
00:09:09,665 --> 00:09:12,166
It is now seven minutes past.

136
00:09:13,998 --> 00:09:14,831
Yes.

137
00:09:14,833 --> 00:09:15,665
Sorry.

138
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,196
You said we could
discuss some options...

139
00:09:20,198 --> 00:09:22,197
I said we should meet at 11.

140
00:09:22,199 --> 00:09:25,196
I dare say it's
that casual attitude

141
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:28,065
to arrangements that has led
to your current predicament.

142
00:09:31,699 --> 00:09:32,764
Tea?

143
00:09:32,766 --> 00:09:33,596
Sorry.

144
00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:35,162
Yes, thank you.

145
00:09:35,164 --> 00:09:37,566
Sorry, you're not
what I imagined.

146
00:09:40,566 --> 00:09:41,834
Meet many assassins do you?

147
00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:46,631
It's just I never
pictured a polo neck.

148
00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:47,897
What's wrong with a polo neck?

149
00:09:47,899 --> 00:09:49,196
My wife got it for me.

150
00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:50,631
What should I be wearing?

151
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,664
I don't know.

152
00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:52,297
A cardigan?

153
00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:53,229
No!

154
00:09:53,231 --> 00:09:54,165
Hitmen don't wear cardigans!

155
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:58,632
Well I'm so sorry I'm not
living up to your expectations.

156
00:10:04,798 --> 00:10:07,532
Are you sure
you're up to this?

157
00:10:10,099 --> 00:10:11,500
Let me tell you something.

158
00:10:12,932 --> 00:10:15,664
I've killed more people
than you've had hot baths.

159
00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:17,297
I'm the angel of death.

160
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:19,597
I'm Abbadon the destroyer.

161
00:10:19,599 --> 00:10:21,530
I'm a one man euthanasia clinic.

162
00:10:21,532 --> 00:10:25,032
Only with me you don't
have to go to Switzerland.

163
00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:28,730
Ever been to Switzerland?

164
00:10:28,732 --> 00:10:29,664
No.

165
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:31,596
And now you never will.

166
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:32,930
If you're serious.

167
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:33,763
I'm serious.

168
00:10:33,765 --> 00:10:34,996
LESLIE: How serious?

169
00:10:34,998 --> 00:10:37,631
Serious enough to
phone an assassin.

170
00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:38,862
That serious enough?

171
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,663
How do I know you
are really serious

172
00:10:40,665 --> 00:10:43,263
and not just saying
you're really serious?

173
00:10:43,265 --> 00:10:47,098
When we met, on the bridge,
that wasn't my first time.

174
00:10:48,199 --> 00:10:49,597
Go on.

175
00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:51,162
That was the seventh.

176
00:10:51,164 --> 00:10:52,631
Tenth if you count
the cries for help.

177
00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:54,563
(LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC)

178
00:10:54,565 --> 00:10:55,963
I tried hanging,

179
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:58,200
(GRUNTING)

180
00:10:59,899 --> 00:11:00,897
gassing,

181
00:11:00,899 --> 00:11:03,966
(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

182
00:11:04,999 --> 00:11:08,063
(CAR STALLING)
(YELLING)

183
00:11:08,065 --> 00:11:09,533
booze and pills,

184
00:11:13,031 --> 00:11:15,730
(VOMITING)

185
00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:16,732
electrocution.

186
00:11:17,599 --> 00:11:21,063
(ELECTRICITY ZAPPING)

187
00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:23,297
Oh, and I waked
into a main road.

188
00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:24,830
LESLIE: How did
you survive that?

189
00:11:24,832 --> 00:11:26,531
WILLIAM: I was
hit by an ambulance.

190
00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:28,062
You couldn't be
in better hands.

191
00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:28,997
Great.

192
00:11:28,999 --> 00:11:30,296
(LAUGHING)

193
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,162
Oh, Jesus Christ.

194
00:11:31,164 --> 00:11:32,466
You really do need me.

195
00:11:33,832 --> 00:11:35,896
I started to worry
that I might be immortal.

196
00:11:35,898 --> 00:11:38,599
I've never met
anyone I couldn't kill.

197
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,467
Actually I wrote
a book on the topic.

198
00:11:43,532 --> 00:11:44,896
My Many Deaths.

199
00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:46,862
It's unpublished.

200
00:11:46,864 --> 00:11:49,532
Okay, so how do you
want this to happen?

201
00:11:50,733 --> 00:11:53,563
You're not going to
garotte me are you?

202
00:11:53,565 --> 00:11:55,531
I don't want to be garotted.

203
00:11:55,533 --> 00:11:56,830
What makes you think that?

204
00:11:56,832 --> 00:11:59,533
I'm getting a strong
feeling of garotting.

205
00:12:00,599 --> 00:12:01,962
Is it the polo neck?

206
00:12:01,964 --> 00:12:03,098
It's not helping.

207
00:12:04,698 --> 00:12:05,499
No garotting.

208
00:12:06,699 --> 00:12:07,533
You have my word.

209
00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:11,596
So, what are my options?

210
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:16,096
Here, look, I've
got a brochure.

211
00:12:16,098 --> 00:12:19,533
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

212
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:25,597
So, you just hang
around bridges,

213
00:12:25,599 --> 00:12:28,929
trying to find clients?

214
00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:31,096
Bridges, cliffs,
tall buildings.

215
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,896
Usual places.

216
00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:35,664
Killing yourself is a lot
harder than people think.

217
00:12:35,666 --> 00:12:36,632
Tell me about it.

218
00:12:38,065 --> 00:12:39,631
There's not much work
for a conventional hitman

219
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:40,467
these days.

220
00:12:41,764 --> 00:12:44,233
All the Eastern Europeans
taking our jobs.

221
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,830
But I had to meet
my quota somehow.

222
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,599
So, you came along just at
the right time, as it happens.

223
00:12:53,032 --> 00:12:54,597
WILLIAM: What about this one?

224
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,729
LESLIE: Ah, the hero's death.

225
00:12:56,731 --> 00:12:59,630
This would be perfect.

226
00:12:59,632 --> 00:13:04,599
Killed saving the life of
a child, a beautiful nurse

227
00:13:05,299 --> 00:13:07,533
crying over my bloodied body,

228
00:13:08,665 --> 00:13:11,296
a small crowd gathered.

229
00:13:11,298 --> 00:13:12,466
Maybe they're clapping?

230
00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:14,962
Do you know a beautiful nurse?

231
00:13:14,964 --> 00:13:15,897
No.

232
00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:18,230
Do you have access to a child?

233
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,066
No.

234
00:13:20,164 --> 00:13:21,663
Well I'm not
saying I can't do it,

235
00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:24,596
but there's a lot
of admin involved.

236
00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:25,729
And it's not cheap.

237
00:13:25,731 --> 00:13:27,696
What's your budget?

238
00:13:27,698 --> 00:13:29,062
Well, I've got
around two grand.

239
00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:30,296
Two thousand?

240
00:13:30,298 --> 00:13:34,232
I wouldn't reverse over you in
a Ford Fiesta for that money.

241
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:37,866
Well what can you do?

242
00:13:45,632 --> 00:13:47,132
LESLIE: Quick and painless.

243
00:13:49,697 --> 00:13:50,530
Right.

244
00:13:50,532 --> 00:13:52,163
And even then I'm
doing you a deal.

245
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,533
For two grand, it's
usually quick but painful.

246
00:13:56,698 --> 00:13:58,029
How?

247
00:13:58,031 --> 00:13:59,263
Well, I'd shoot you.

248
00:13:59,265 --> 00:14:00,063
From a distance.

249
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:00,996
One shot.

250
00:14:00,998 --> 00:14:01,898
You'd never see it coming.

251
00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:09,695
Okay.

252
00:14:09,697 --> 00:14:10,896
Deal.

253
00:14:10,898 --> 00:14:11,730
(CLAPPING)

254
00:14:11,732 --> 00:14:12,796
Excellent.

255
00:14:12,798 --> 00:14:14,663
Here we go.

256
00:14:14,665 --> 00:14:15,696
Standard contract.

257
00:14:15,698 --> 00:14:16,897
Name?

258
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:17,930
William Morrison.

259
00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:18,863
Address?

260
00:14:18,865 --> 00:14:21,163
Flat three, 27 Drake St.

261
00:14:21,165 --> 00:14:22,500
Reason for wanting death?

262
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:25,862
Why do you want to die?

263
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,263
Is it terminal illness?

264
00:14:28,265 --> 00:14:30,233
Money problems?

265
00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:35,500
Do you ever wonder
what's the point?

266
00:14:37,098 --> 00:14:38,162
Frequently.

267
00:14:38,164 --> 00:14:39,632
What's the point of me?

268
00:14:40,565 --> 00:14:41,897
Why am I here?

269
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:43,795
What am I contributing?

270
00:14:43,797 --> 00:14:45,763
I think about that all the time.

271
00:14:45,765 --> 00:14:47,795
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

272
00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:49,732
Over and over and over.

273
00:14:52,131 --> 00:14:54,562
And I want to
switch my brain off,

274
00:14:54,564 --> 00:14:58,965
but it builds until
it becomes unbearable.

275
00:14:59,964 --> 00:15:02,030
It's like my brain is on fire,

276
00:15:02,032 --> 00:15:03,663
like it's burning
from the inside.

277
00:15:03,665 --> 00:15:05,599
And I want it to
stop, to feel nothing.

278
00:15:07,598 --> 00:15:09,566
I've never talked to
anyone about this.

279
00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:12,962
We're already dying.

280
00:15:12,964 --> 00:15:14,132
Just very slowly.

281
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:16,829
Life's one long terminal il...

282
00:15:16,831 --> 00:15:19,163
Yeah, yeah, look
it's a very small box.

283
00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:20,098
I'll write cancer.

284
00:15:21,565 --> 00:15:22,166
Okay.

285
00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:25,632
All right, sign here.

286
00:15:29,198 --> 00:15:30,196
Excellent.

287
00:15:30,198 --> 00:15:32,896
(LAUGHING)

288
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,595
Well, congratulations.

289
00:15:35,597 --> 00:15:37,965
You've just signed
your own death warrant.

290
00:15:39,932 --> 00:15:41,630
When will it happen?

291
00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:42,430
Oh, anytime within a week

292
00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,729
of the money
clearing our account.

293
00:15:44,731 --> 00:15:46,097
All the money up front?

294
00:15:46,099 --> 00:15:48,562
Well we can't get
it afterwards, can we?

295
00:15:48,564 --> 00:15:50,762
But how do I know
this isn't a scam?

296
00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:52,663
Do you have any references?

297
00:15:52,665 --> 00:15:55,762
I'll give you a list
of graves you can visit.

298
00:15:55,764 --> 00:15:57,663
You pay the money
into an escrow account

299
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,196
run by the British
Guild of Assassins.

300
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:02,962
The money isn't transferred
to me until after your death.

301
00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:04,997
And if you're not
dead within a week,

302
00:16:04,999 --> 00:16:06,531
you'll get your money back.

303
00:16:07,631 --> 00:16:08,897
The Guild of Assassins?

304
00:16:08,899 --> 00:16:10,563
Never heard of it.

305
00:16:10,565 --> 00:16:12,662
We don't advertise.

306
00:16:12,664 --> 00:16:15,133
And the word of
mouth is limited.

307
00:16:16,631 --> 00:16:18,595
What's it like, a union?

308
00:16:18,597 --> 00:16:20,696
We're not bus drivers.

309
00:16:20,698 --> 00:16:24,563
It's a co-operative bound
by a strict code of conduct.

310
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:27,062
An assassin is not
just a man with a gun.

311
00:16:27,064 --> 00:16:28,098
We're not murderers.

312
00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:30,065
We're professionals.

313
00:16:31,564 --> 00:16:32,531
And what do I do?

314
00:16:33,598 --> 00:16:35,596
Do what you normally do.

315
00:16:35,598 --> 00:16:37,629
Just don't hide in a
cupboard for the week.

316
00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,097
I don't mind, I'll
kill you anyway,

317
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,499
but you'll regret it.

318
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:43,532
Okay.

319
00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:45,866
Right.

320
00:16:48,265 --> 00:16:50,595
You seem like a decent man.

321
00:16:50,597 --> 00:16:52,096
I'm very happy to kill you.

322
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,631
I'm very happy to die.

323
00:16:57,764 --> 00:17:00,197
(DOOR OPENING)

324
00:17:00,199 --> 00:17:03,599
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

325
00:17:09,031 --> 00:17:11,930
(INTERCOM BUZZING)

326
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:12,862
WENDY: Hello?

327
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:13,632
LESLIE: Yes, it's Leslie.

328
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:16,996
WENDY: Hello, Les.

329
00:17:16,998 --> 00:17:18,196
Hi Wendy.

330
00:17:18,198 --> 00:17:19,698
I need to register
this contract.

331
00:17:29,565 --> 00:17:30,200
Look at that!

332
00:17:31,565 --> 00:17:32,632
Well done you!

333
00:17:33,664 --> 00:17:34,497
Just in time.

334
00:17:35,598 --> 00:17:38,062
Those assisted suicides
were a great idea.

335
00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,962
He's just needs to
transfer the money.

336
00:17:39,964 --> 00:17:41,063
He seemed keen.

337
00:17:41,065 --> 00:17:42,264
Depressed was he?

338
00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:43,696
He's another writer.

339
00:17:43,698 --> 00:17:45,062
Unpublished.

340
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,896
That's the trouble
with some people.

341
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:48,063
They think too much.

342
00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:49,563
(STAPLER CLICKING)

343
00:17:49,565 --> 00:17:50,729
Is Harvey in?

344
00:17:50,731 --> 00:17:52,929
They're all at the conference.

345
00:17:52,931 --> 00:17:55,030
Didn't you get the newsletter?

346
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,030
No.

347
00:17:56,032 --> 00:17:57,297
It's today and tomorrow.

348
00:17:57,299 --> 00:18:01,197
They're staying at
a hotel in Egham.

349
00:18:01,199 --> 00:18:02,766
Here's the schedule.

350
00:18:06,299 --> 00:18:07,563
Mmmm.

351
00:18:07,565 --> 00:18:08,829
Buffet lunch.

352
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:11,632
So have you got the
Ruger Precision?

353
00:18:13,797 --> 00:18:14,695
No, Leslie I'm sorry.

354
00:18:14,697 --> 00:18:15,965
It's out at the moment.

355
00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:18,833
We've got plenty of handguns?

356
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:21,662
Glock 17?

357
00:18:21,664 --> 00:18:23,232
Let me just get that for you.

358
00:18:25,531 --> 00:18:28,999
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

359
00:18:33,198 --> 00:18:35,030
Ammunition is in the case.

360
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,563
Can you have it
back by Thursday?

361
00:18:36,565 --> 00:18:37,466
Yeah, yeah.

362
00:18:39,797 --> 00:18:41,862
Have you still
got the Browning?

363
00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:45,062
No, no, I brought
that back last week.

364
00:18:45,064 --> 00:18:46,498
It's saying it's still out.

365
00:18:48,199 --> 00:18:49,466
Where is it then?

366
00:18:59,266 --> 00:19:00,530
Les?

367
00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:02,663
Did you get the Worcester sauce?

368
00:19:02,665 --> 00:19:03,695
(SIGHING)

369
00:19:03,697 --> 00:19:04,762
Oh, Leslie!

370
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:05,930
Well, I'll go now.

371
00:19:05,932 --> 00:19:08,264
No, no, it's not essential.

372
00:19:08,266 --> 00:19:10,030
Look, I'm sorry.

373
00:19:10,032 --> 00:19:11,566
Just be a bit bland.

374
00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:13,863
Well I will go.

375
00:19:13,865 --> 00:19:14,695
No, you're home now.

376
00:19:14,697 --> 00:19:16,130
Don't worry.

377
00:19:16,132 --> 00:19:17,166
I'll add some Bovril.

378
00:19:22,064 --> 00:19:25,230
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

379
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,066
Hello boys.

380
00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:27,966
How are you today?

381
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:30,966
What's wrong with you?

382
00:19:31,932 --> 00:19:32,766
You all right?

383
00:19:34,531 --> 00:19:36,632
I thought we could
have it on trays.

384
00:19:42,064 --> 00:19:43,829
NARRATOR: It's
hard to move quickly

385
00:19:43,831 --> 00:19:45,930
when you only eat plants

386
00:19:45,932 --> 00:19:47,630
(GRUNTING)

387
00:19:47,632 --> 00:19:49,532
It's a three-toed sloth

388
00:19:50,665 --> 00:19:52,732
The sloth hangs from
branches, eating plants

389
00:19:53,964 --> 00:19:55,529
Bland?

390
00:19:55,531 --> 00:19:56,498
Delicious.

391
00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:01,163
I don't know how I'm
going to finish this

392
00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:02,566
in time for the
Southern Counties.

393
00:20:04,765 --> 00:20:06,530
What I was thinking?

394
00:20:06,532 --> 00:20:07,599
You'll get it done.

395
00:20:09,064 --> 00:20:11,233
NARRATOR: Sloths are not
exactly enthusiastic eaters,

396
00:20:12,597 --> 00:20:17,030
but meals takes up a sizeable
proportion of the day,

397
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:18,899
it's a constant cycle.

398
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:20,965
Yep.

399
00:20:22,531 --> 00:20:23,662
Bland.

400
00:20:23,664 --> 00:20:27,098
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

401
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,898
My life was long enough

402
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:44,200
and full of distress.

403
00:20:44,998 --> 00:20:48,565
Unlike my death,

404
00:20:49,564 --> 00:20:52,565
which was quick and painless.

405
00:21:17,564 --> 00:21:18,997
RADIO ANNOUNCER:
The time is 8:19

406
00:21:18,999 --> 00:21:22,599
and now a summary of
this morning's news.

407
00:21:24,864 --> 00:21:27,596
This one goes the
whole way round.

408
00:21:27,598 --> 00:21:29,730
120 nights.

409
00:21:29,732 --> 00:21:31,630
Imagine,

410
00:21:31,632 --> 00:21:33,766
wouldn't that be incredible?

411
00:21:35,532 --> 00:21:38,162
There's places here I've
never even heard of.

412
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:39,499
Nuku'Alofa.

413
00:21:41,664 --> 00:21:42,565
Nuku'Alofa.

414
00:21:43,965 --> 00:21:45,762
It's in Tonga.

415
00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:48,129
And they've got an offer
on if you book early.

416
00:21:48,131 --> 00:21:49,962
Listen love, about that...

417
00:21:49,964 --> 00:21:53,663
Oh Les, you said this year.

418
00:21:53,665 --> 00:21:55,762
You said that you were
going to retire this year

419
00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:57,062
and we could go
'round the world.

420
00:21:57,064 --> 00:21:58,863
No, I said I'd
think about retiring

421
00:21:58,865 --> 00:22:01,696
and I have thought about
it and I've decided

422
00:22:01,698 --> 00:22:03,599
that I'm not ready.

423
00:22:05,064 --> 00:22:07,195
Don't worry, the world will
still be there next year.

424
00:22:07,197 --> 00:22:09,129
But will we, Leslie?

425
00:22:09,131 --> 00:22:10,595
You should be enjoying life,

426
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:12,662
not working yourself
into an early grave.

427
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,262
I love my work.

428
00:22:14,264 --> 00:22:15,430
And what about Harvey?

429
00:22:15,432 --> 00:22:18,529
I thought he wanted to give
more work to the youngsters?

430
00:22:18,531 --> 00:22:19,430
He can do what he likes.

431
00:22:19,432 --> 00:22:21,562
I've already fulfilled
his stupid quota.

432
00:22:21,564 --> 00:22:22,696
You have?

433
00:22:22,698 --> 00:22:23,795
Yes.

434
00:22:23,797 --> 00:22:25,465
The money just needs to be
transferred, that's all.

435
00:22:27,164 --> 00:22:29,696
At least you can
be happy for me?

436
00:22:29,698 --> 00:22:30,763
RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Budgies can fly

437
00:22:30,765 --> 00:22:33,062
at over 90 kilometers per hour,

438
00:22:33,064 --> 00:22:34,730
and cover huge territories,

439
00:22:34,732 --> 00:22:37,598
(PHONE RINGING)

440
00:22:41,297 --> 00:22:43,030
(PHONE BEEPING)

441
00:22:43,032 --> 00:22:45,262
Leslie O'Neil.

442
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:46,529
WILLIAM: Mr O'Neil?

443
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:47,563
Yeah.

444
00:22:47,565 --> 00:22:49,161
It's William Morrison.

445
00:22:49,163 --> 00:22:51,263
I've transferred the money.

446
00:22:51,265 --> 00:22:56,465
But I have a few things
I want to do first,

447
00:22:57,765 --> 00:22:59,295
so I was wondering if you
could give me a rough idea

448
00:22:59,297 --> 00:23:01,030
in terms of timescale.

449
00:23:01,032 --> 00:23:03,796
William, this
isn't a good time.

450
00:23:03,798 --> 00:23:04,997
I'm at work.

451
00:23:04,999 --> 00:23:06,196
What?

452
00:23:06,198 --> 00:23:07,662
Right now?

453
00:23:07,664 --> 00:23:09,498
What, you're going to
kill someone right now?

454
00:23:10,797 --> 00:23:12,762
Wait, it's not me, is it?

455
00:23:12,764 --> 00:23:14,796
No, it isn't you.

456
00:23:14,798 --> 00:23:15,632
Oh.

457
00:23:16,698 --> 00:23:17,929
LESLIE: Bye, William.

458
00:23:17,931 --> 00:23:20,599
(PHONE BEEPING)

459
00:23:25,064 --> 00:23:28,566
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

460
00:23:42,898 --> 00:23:44,566
Book idea.

461
00:23:46,265 --> 00:23:48,562
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

462
00:23:48,564 --> 00:23:53,566
An assassin who only kills
people who want to die.

463
00:23:55,230 --> 00:23:56,763
I was hoping it would be you.

464
00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:57,729
LESLIE: Have a nice death.

465
00:23:57,731 --> 00:24:00,061
(GUN FIRING)

466
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,596
WILLIAM VOICEOVER: He
holds death in his hand

467
00:24:02,598 --> 00:24:06,196
and delivers it with the
precision of a surgeon.

468
00:24:06,198 --> 00:24:08,096
I'm not quite dead.

469
00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:09,096
Oh my god!

470
00:24:09,098 --> 00:24:10,629
I'm so sorry, Mrs Rehmann.

471
00:24:10,631 --> 00:24:11,663
I'll have another go.

472
00:24:11,665 --> 00:24:13,899
(GUN FIRING)

473
00:24:15,097 --> 00:24:17,196
WILLIAM: Benevolently
shuffling lesser beings

474
00:24:17,198 --> 00:24:18,963
off their mortal coil.

475
00:24:18,965 --> 00:24:21,061
Oh, that's very good Penny.

476
00:24:21,063 --> 00:24:22,695
Oh, thank you, Clive.

477
00:24:22,697 --> 00:24:25,662
It will be if I
can get it right.

478
00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,663
WILLIAM: A
hard-drinking enigma.

479
00:24:27,665 --> 00:24:30,195
Single malt his only companion.

480
00:24:30,197 --> 00:24:33,998
A man of action
and unique skills.

481
00:24:35,597 --> 00:24:38,798
PENNY: Oh Les, you
didn't have anything else?

482
00:24:42,164 --> 00:24:44,763
He lies in wait,
ready to pounce.

483
00:24:44,765 --> 00:24:48,132
Stalking his prey with
a ruthless efficiency.

484
00:24:49,532 --> 00:24:50,863
A master of stealth.

485
00:24:50,865 --> 00:24:52,595
(DOOR LOCKING)

486
00:24:52,597 --> 00:24:53,529
Do you want this?

487
00:24:53,531 --> 00:24:54,995
KID: You don't want it?

488
00:24:54,997 --> 00:24:57,498
WILLIAM VOICEOVER: A
connoisseur of concealment.

489
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:03,765
Moving in the shadows, he
sees all, but is never seen.

490
00:25:04,731 --> 00:25:06,629
The grim reaper.

491
00:25:06,631 --> 00:25:08,296
Abbadon the destroyer.

492
00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:11,699
To look at him is to look
into the face of death.

493
00:25:13,864 --> 00:25:15,763
A lone wolf.

494
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:16,929
Taciturn.

495
00:25:16,931 --> 00:25:18,195
What the hell are you doing?

496
00:25:18,197 --> 00:25:19,630
I've only been gone
about five minutes.

497
00:25:19,632 --> 00:25:20,662
No, no.

498
00:25:20,664 --> 00:25:21,529
Sorry, Sir.

499
00:25:21,531 --> 00:25:23,065
It's already in the system.

500
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,565
Oh to hell with you

501
00:25:26,697 --> 00:25:29,595
and your stupid hat and
your stupid scooter!

502
00:25:29,597 --> 00:25:30,665
Unknowable.

503
00:25:32,832 --> 00:25:34,499
He hasn't chosen this life.

504
00:25:35,964 --> 00:25:37,699
It has chosen him.

505
00:25:48,063 --> 00:25:50,765
(PHONE RINGING)

506
00:25:56,631 --> 00:25:57,829
Hello?

507
00:25:57,831 --> 00:26:00,263
ELLIE: Oh, is this
William Morrison?

508
00:26:00,265 --> 00:26:01,095
Yeah.

509
00:26:01,097 --> 00:26:02,196
ELLIE: Oh, thank god.

510
00:26:02,198 --> 00:26:03,532
You're not dead.

511
00:26:04,631 --> 00:26:05,629
WILLIAM: I'm working on it.

512
00:26:05,631 --> 00:26:06,562
ELLIE: Well, that's great.

513
00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:08,529
I thought I might be too late.

514
00:26:08,531 --> 00:26:10,065
WILLIAM: Sorry, who are you?

515
00:26:12,265 --> 00:26:15,162
My name is Ellie Adams and
I work at Steeden & Sons.

516
00:26:15,164 --> 00:26:16,296
The publishers?

517
00:26:16,298 --> 00:26:19,662
ELLIE: Yeah, I want to
talk to you about your book.

518
00:26:19,664 --> 00:26:20,729
WILLIAM: What about it?

519
00:26:20,731 --> 00:26:21,731
ELLIE: I read it.

520
00:26:22,997 --> 00:26:23,830
Really?

521
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:24,663
ELLIE: Yeah.

522
00:26:24,665 --> 00:26:25,596
The whole thing?

523
00:26:25,598 --> 00:26:27,128
Yeah.

524
00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:30,196
You're pretty fucked up.

525
00:26:30,198 --> 00:26:31,196
No offense.

526
00:26:31,198 --> 00:26:32,295
WILLIAM: None taken.

527
00:26:32,297 --> 00:26:34,262
ELLIE: I want to set
up a meeting with my boss.

528
00:26:34,264 --> 00:26:35,098
How's next week?

529
00:26:37,197 --> 00:26:38,228
No!

530
00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:42,532
No, I can't, um,
anything sooner?

531
00:26:43,798 --> 00:26:45,262
ELLIE: Okay.

532
00:26:45,264 --> 00:26:47,563
Actually something just
canceled tomorrow lunchtime.

533
00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:48,795
How's that?

534
00:26:48,797 --> 00:26:50,595
Yeah.

535
00:26:50,597 --> 00:26:52,061
I should be able to make it.

536
00:26:52,063 --> 00:26:53,162
ELLIE: Perfect.

537
00:26:53,164 --> 00:26:54,996
Do you know Fantacci's?

538
00:26:54,998 --> 00:26:55,862
Yep.

539
00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:56,796
ELLIE: One o'clock?

540
00:26:56,798 --> 00:26:57,630
Okay.

541
00:26:57,632 --> 00:26:59,095
ELLIE: Great.

542
00:26:59,097 --> 00:27:00,595
Just please don't kill
yourself in the meantime.

543
00:27:00,597 --> 00:27:02,663
Or if you do, can
you let me know

544
00:27:02,665 --> 00:27:04,562
and I'll cancel the table?

545
00:27:04,564 --> 00:27:05,195
Thanks!

546
00:27:05,197 --> 00:27:08,598
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

547
00:27:14,231 --> 00:27:15,065
Morning.

548
00:27:18,565 --> 00:27:20,696
Sorry, I was
having a sandwich.

549
00:27:20,698 --> 00:27:22,698
I just wanted to ask a favor.

550
00:27:24,063 --> 00:27:25,828
You're not having
second thoughts, are you?

551
00:27:25,830 --> 00:27:27,295
No, no, not at all.

552
00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:30,763
I just wondered if
we could postpone?

553
00:27:30,765 --> 00:27:32,262
Postpone?

554
00:27:32,264 --> 00:27:33,195
Yes.

555
00:27:33,197 --> 00:27:35,563
I had a call from a publisher's

556
00:27:35,565 --> 00:27:37,129
and they're
interested in my book.

557
00:27:37,131 --> 00:27:40,896
They wanted to meet me next
week, but I said absolutely not

558
00:27:40,898 --> 00:27:45,898
So we're having lunch at
one tomorrow at Fantacci's.

559
00:27:47,632 --> 00:27:48,562
Do you know it?

560
00:27:48,564 --> 00:27:52,296
But you still want to die?

561
00:27:52,298 --> 00:27:53,229
WILLIAM: Absolutely.

562
00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:54,662
Because we have a contract.

563
00:27:54,664 --> 00:27:55,961
You can plead all you
like, lots of people do,

564
00:27:55,963 --> 00:27:58,530
but it's non-refundable.

565
00:27:58,532 --> 00:28:00,962
You did read the small print?

566
00:28:00,964 --> 00:28:04,765
You're only alive because
I haven't killed you yet.

567
00:28:05,698 --> 00:28:08,532
It will be a temporary hiatus.

568
00:28:09,598 --> 00:28:10,865
It would mean a lot to me.

569
00:28:15,230 --> 00:28:16,530
Okay.

570
00:28:16,532 --> 00:28:17,662
Sure.

571
00:28:17,664 --> 00:28:20,229
Thank you, I
really appreciate it.

572
00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:21,232
All right.

573
00:28:22,665 --> 00:28:25,898
(CHERRY WHISTLING MUSIC)

574
00:28:33,097 --> 00:28:34,196
♪ Prego prego ♪

575
00:28:34,198 --> 00:28:35,563
♪ Anywhere you may go ♪

576
00:28:35,565 --> 00:28:37,995
♪ Make each day be
a day full of fun ♪

577
00:28:37,997 --> 00:28:39,629
MAN: Hello, sir,
can I help you?

578
00:28:39,631 --> 00:28:41,695
Hello, I have a
meeting with Ellie Adams.

579
00:28:41,697 --> 00:28:45,031
The young lady
sitting right there.

580
00:28:46,997 --> 00:28:47,831
Oh.

581
00:28:51,264 --> 00:28:52,595
Ellie?

582
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:55,630
You didn't kill yourself.

583
00:28:55,632 --> 00:28:56,599
I managed not to.

584
00:28:58,164 --> 00:28:59,965
Brian is on his way.

585
00:29:01,298 --> 00:29:02,131
Tell me.

586
00:29:03,531 --> 00:29:06,829
You've thought a lot
about dying, right?

587
00:29:06,831 --> 00:29:09,262
More than most.

588
00:29:09,264 --> 00:29:12,764
Would you rather be eaten
by sharks or mauled by a bear?

589
00:29:13,831 --> 00:29:17,998
Uh, I think sharks.

590
00:29:18,964 --> 00:29:20,199
They seem more efficient.

591
00:29:21,597 --> 00:29:23,529
I wouldn't recommend lions.

592
00:29:23,531 --> 00:29:27,296
I tried jumping into the lion
enclosure at the zoo once,

593
00:29:27,298 --> 00:29:29,563
but all the lions were asleep.

594
00:29:29,565 --> 00:29:31,865
After 10 minutes I had
to climb out again.

595
00:29:34,997 --> 00:29:35,831
That's funny.

596
00:29:39,632 --> 00:29:41,529
Did you know that there are
more people killed every year

597
00:29:41,531 --> 00:29:45,562
by hippos than by lions,
sharks and bears combined.

598
00:29:45,564 --> 00:29:48,662
I mean, that's an
embarrassing way to die.

599
00:29:48,664 --> 00:29:50,762
To be killed by a hippo.

600
00:29:50,764 --> 00:29:53,595
(LAUGHING)

601
00:29:53,597 --> 00:29:55,598
My parents were
killed by a hippo.

602
00:29:56,997 --> 00:29:58,061
Oh.

603
00:29:58,063 --> 00:29:58,897
Sorry.

604
00:30:04,664 --> 00:30:05,928
I'm joking.

605
00:30:05,930 --> 00:30:07,565
My parents weren't
killed by a hippo.

606
00:30:08,897 --> 00:30:09,828
Oh, ha.

607
00:30:09,830 --> 00:30:11,563
They died in a car crash.

608
00:30:11,565 --> 00:30:13,061
So, your book.

609
00:30:13,063 --> 00:30:16,465
You're very interesting

610
00:30:19,097 --> 00:30:22,562
In a good way?

611
00:30:22,564 --> 00:30:24,096
Ah, here comes Brian.

612
00:30:24,098 --> 00:30:26,262
Well, you can tell him
from me he's a fucking moron.

613
00:30:26,264 --> 00:30:27,729
In fact worse, he's an idiot.

614
00:30:27,731 --> 00:30:29,263
A big fucking idiot.

615
00:30:29,265 --> 00:30:31,161
No, idiot is worse than moron.

616
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:32,295
Idiot is the worst.

617
00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:35,562
Officially, it's a medical term.

618
00:30:35,564 --> 00:30:37,961
Extreme mental retardation.

619
00:30:37,963 --> 00:30:42,965
Idiot, imbecile, moron,
that's the sequence.

620
00:30:43,863 --> 00:30:45,599
Do you know what's after moron?

621
00:30:47,131 --> 00:30:47,961
Cretin?

622
00:30:47,963 --> 00:30:50,095
No, cretin is different.

623
00:30:50,097 --> 00:30:51,962
Cretin is more of
a physical thing.

624
00:30:51,964 --> 00:30:55,132
Just do it will you
or you're both fired!

625
00:30:56,731 --> 00:30:58,864
(SIGHING)

626
00:31:01,863 --> 00:31:04,761
Your mum's not retarded
or anything is she?

627
00:31:04,763 --> 00:31:05,795
My mum's dead.

628
00:31:05,797 --> 00:31:07,229
Oh, thank god for that!

629
00:31:07,231 --> 00:31:08,161
That would have been awkward!

630
00:31:08,163 --> 00:31:09,829
This is Brian Bentley.

631
00:31:09,831 --> 00:31:11,096
My boss at the company.

632
00:31:11,098 --> 00:31:12,562
We love the book.

633
00:31:12,564 --> 00:31:14,262
Fucking dark.

634
00:31:14,264 --> 00:31:15,761
It's dull by the way.

635
00:31:15,763 --> 00:31:17,263
I wouldn't say that.

636
00:31:17,265 --> 00:31:18,661
Admittedly I haven't read
it, but Ellie loves it.

637
00:31:18,663 --> 00:31:19,594
Says it could be huge.

638
00:31:19,596 --> 00:31:20,829
Are you on Twitter?

639
00:31:20,831 --> 00:31:21,794
I meant after moron.

640
00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:23,795
Oh, the retards thing!

641
00:31:23,797 --> 00:31:25,529
Yeah, that's right, dull.

642
00:31:25,531 --> 00:31:27,861
(LAUGHING)

643
00:31:27,863 --> 00:31:30,196
You know, I once had a
girlfriend who was dull.

644
00:31:30,198 --> 00:31:31,595
Officially...

645
00:31:31,597 --> 00:31:32,595
We were talking
about William's book.

646
00:31:32,597 --> 00:31:33,828
Oh, yeah.

647
00:31:33,830 --> 00:31:35,296
So look, we want to
turn it into a sort of

648
00:31:35,298 --> 00:31:37,562
Idiots Guide to Suicide.

649
00:31:37,564 --> 00:31:38,962
What do you think?

650
00:31:38,964 --> 00:31:40,561
Not medical idiots obviously.

651
00:31:40,563 --> 00:31:43,229
I mean, I doubt those
guys can fucking read.

652
00:31:43,231 --> 00:31:44,232
It sounds awful.

653
00:31:45,564 --> 00:31:47,161
That's not really what, no,

654
00:31:47,163 --> 00:31:49,829
Brian meant that we
want to use the core of

655
00:31:49,831 --> 00:31:52,029
your book to give
a personal insight

656
00:31:52,031 --> 00:31:53,694
into the world of suicide.

657
00:31:53,696 --> 00:31:56,629
Have you really tried to
kill yourself seven times?

658
00:31:56,631 --> 00:31:59,228
10, if you count
cries for help.

659
00:31:59,230 --> 00:32:00,628
Jesus!

660
00:32:00,630 --> 00:32:02,162
You don't seem that disturbed.

661
00:32:02,164 --> 00:32:03,629
When Ellie told me about this
I thought you'd be trying

662
00:32:03,631 --> 00:32:05,829
to cut your wrists
with the bread knife.

663
00:32:05,831 --> 00:32:07,594
You know there's a
bravery in your writing

664
00:32:07,596 --> 00:32:09,762
to acknowledge that the world's
obsession with the banal

665
00:32:09,764 --> 00:32:12,628
is simply a distraction
from the nagging fear

666
00:32:12,630 --> 00:32:14,465
that our existence
has no meaning.

667
00:32:15,663 --> 00:32:18,662
People are discontented
and lonely.

668
00:32:18,664 --> 00:32:20,499
I think your book will
connect with them.

669
00:32:21,597 --> 00:32:23,562
Plus people love
shit that's depressing,

670
00:32:23,564 --> 00:32:25,832
makes them feel better about
their own crappy lives.

671
00:32:27,031 --> 00:32:29,561
Hey, do you really think
you will kill yourself?

672
00:32:29,563 --> 00:32:30,595
Probably.

673
00:32:30,597 --> 00:32:31,795
Great.

674
00:32:31,797 --> 00:32:33,598
Just thinking we could coincide
it with a paperback release.

675
00:32:34,730 --> 00:32:37,029
Well, if he's going
to do it anyway!

676
00:32:37,031 --> 00:32:41,694
I actually wanted to ask
about posthumous publication?

677
00:32:41,696 --> 00:32:43,695
Just hypothetically.

678
00:32:43,697 --> 00:32:46,594
We really want
to work with you.

679
00:32:46,596 --> 00:32:48,096
I'm so pleased
you like my book,

680
00:32:48,098 --> 00:32:50,961
but this guide idea,

681
00:32:50,963 --> 00:32:52,661
it sounds like a lot of work

682
00:32:52,663 --> 00:32:54,562
and I don't have much
time at the moment.

683
00:32:54,564 --> 00:32:55,928
Killing yourself
keeping you busy?

684
00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:57,662
You wouldn't have
to do it all yourself.

685
00:32:57,664 --> 00:32:58,861
Ellie would be your editor.

686
00:32:58,863 --> 00:33:00,561
If that's okay?

687
00:33:00,563 --> 00:33:03,028
This is great
opportunity, mate.

688
00:33:03,030 --> 00:33:05,132
Once in a lifetime, ironically.

689
00:33:06,297 --> 00:33:07,694
This is a chance
for you to say

690
00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:09,561
what you want and be heard.

691
00:33:09,563 --> 00:33:10,729
Yes.

692
00:33:10,731 --> 00:33:13,095
What is that exactly?

693
00:33:13,097 --> 00:33:16,096
That death is nothing to fear.

694
00:33:16,098 --> 00:33:18,628
It's what we all have in common.

695
00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:20,761
There is something
reassuring in that.

696
00:33:20,763 --> 00:33:23,630
Makes me feel less adrift.

697
00:33:29,098 --> 00:33:30,961
Jesus Christ!

698
00:33:30,963 --> 00:33:32,263
I'm not publishing your book

699
00:33:32,265 --> 00:33:35,529
just because you
need a fucking hug.

700
00:33:35,531 --> 00:33:37,595
It's got to sell.

701
00:33:37,597 --> 00:33:39,061
That's the problem these days,

702
00:33:39,063 --> 00:33:41,829
everyone feels a need
to express every detail

703
00:33:41,831 --> 00:33:43,161
of their pathetic lives

704
00:33:43,163 --> 00:33:45,228
to remind us of their existence.

705
00:33:45,230 --> 00:33:47,595
I tweet therefore I am.

706
00:33:47,597 --> 00:33:50,695
No one fucking cares!

707
00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:52,661
I'd rather shoot
myself in the head

708
00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:53,295
than have to listen to
the opinions of these...

709
00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:54,728
(GUN FIRING)

710
00:33:54,730 --> 00:33:56,862
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

711
00:33:56,864 --> 00:33:57,798
Oh balls.

712
00:34:03,031 --> 00:34:05,529
ELLIE: William, get down!

713
00:34:05,531 --> 00:34:07,828
Have a good death.

714
00:34:07,830 --> 00:34:08,795
(GUN FIRING)

715
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:10,929
ELLIE: What are you doing?

716
00:34:10,931 --> 00:34:11,765
Cock.

717
00:34:23,863 --> 00:34:25,562
I think it's stopped.

718
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,595
Aren't you going to thank me?

719
00:34:27,597 --> 00:34:29,229
For what?

720
00:34:29,231 --> 00:34:31,095
I just saved your life.

721
00:34:31,097 --> 00:34:33,032
I'm having mixed
feelings about that.

722
00:34:35,030 --> 00:34:35,862
Jesus.

723
00:34:35,864 --> 00:34:36,698
Poor Brian.

724
00:34:38,863 --> 00:34:40,162
Do you think he's dead?

725
00:34:40,164 --> 00:34:41,698
Half his face was missing.

726
00:34:44,198 --> 00:34:45,498
There goes my book deal.

727
00:34:48,563 --> 00:34:49,795
You smoke?

728
00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:51,565
I didn't think anyone
smoked any more.

729
00:34:54,664 --> 00:34:57,528
You know this is a
non-smoking restaurant.

730
00:34:57,530 --> 00:34:58,730
I don't think they'll care.

731
00:35:01,530 --> 00:35:04,497
(SIRENS WAILING)

732
00:35:24,931 --> 00:35:25,798
PENNY: Leslie?

733
00:35:27,298 --> 00:35:28,565
Hello, love.

734
00:35:30,631 --> 00:35:31,698
What is it?

735
00:35:33,864 --> 00:35:34,832
Oh, it's nothing.

736
00:35:35,998 --> 00:35:37,729
After 36 years of marriage

737
00:35:37,731 --> 00:35:39,765
I think I know
something when I see it.

738
00:35:42,864 --> 00:35:43,665
Well I,

739
00:35:44,831 --> 00:35:46,998
I made a terrible
mistake at work.

740
00:35:47,997 --> 00:35:49,964
Oh Les, don't worry.

741
00:35:52,098 --> 00:35:54,562
Everyone makes mistakes.

742
00:35:54,564 --> 00:35:55,961
Not me.

743
00:35:55,963 --> 00:35:56,832
Not like this.

744
00:36:01,264 --> 00:36:02,565
Harvey's going to kill me.

745
00:36:03,564 --> 00:36:06,228
Oh, I'm sure he'll understand.

746
00:36:06,230 --> 00:36:08,865
I mean, it's not like
anyone died, is it?

747
00:36:14,264 --> 00:36:16,065
I'll put the kettle on.

748
00:36:19,530 --> 00:36:20,762
You'll never guess
who else is entered

749
00:36:20,764 --> 00:36:22,561
her cushion into the
Southern Counties.

750
00:36:22,563 --> 00:36:23,895
Who?

751
00:36:23,897 --> 00:36:26,695
Only Morag effing Bleasdale.

752
00:36:26,697 --> 00:36:28,562
Who's Morag Bleasdale?

753
00:36:28,564 --> 00:36:29,965
Who's Morag Bleasdale?

754
00:36:31,531 --> 00:36:33,129
She's only the best needlecrafter
in the home counties!

755
00:36:33,131 --> 00:36:34,162
She's won everything!

756
00:36:34,164 --> 00:36:36,162
There's no way I'll beat her.

757
00:36:36,164 --> 00:36:37,065
Yes, you will.

758
00:36:38,263 --> 00:36:40,196
I knew I shouldn't
have done a cushion.

759
00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,661
I'm out of my comfort zone.

760
00:36:42,663 --> 00:36:43,594
I would have thought a cushion

761
00:36:43,596 --> 00:36:45,128
would make it more comfortable.

762
00:36:45,130 --> 00:36:47,261
This is not a joke, Leslie!

763
00:36:47,263 --> 00:36:48,995
Morag Bleasdale!

764
00:36:48,997 --> 00:36:51,628
Not to mention Sue
Simmons, and Clive!

765
00:36:51,630 --> 00:36:53,029
Don't forget Clive.

766
00:36:53,031 --> 00:36:57,061
He beat me twice last year
and that was just local,

767
00:36:57,063 --> 00:36:59,096
this is the Southern Counties.

768
00:36:59,098 --> 00:37:02,228
LESLIE: As I say,
it's not about winning.

769
00:37:02,230 --> 00:37:04,829
And like I say,
it is about winning.

770
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:06,161
(BUZZING)

771
00:37:06,163 --> 00:37:07,728
I'm not cross-stitching
a cushion

772
00:37:07,730 --> 00:37:10,098
for 30 hours to come unplaced!

773
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:15,096
You are better
than Morag Bleasdale,

774
00:37:15,098 --> 00:37:18,098
Sue Simmons and Clive.

775
00:37:19,296 --> 00:37:20,630
They're really good.

776
00:37:21,564 --> 00:37:23,864
But you are better.

777
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:26,231
Thank you.

778
00:37:31,563 --> 00:37:32,828
What are you doing?

779
00:37:32,830 --> 00:37:35,530
I'm just checking something.

780
00:37:38,297 --> 00:37:40,795
PENNY: Now tell me
what happened at work

781
00:37:40,797 --> 00:37:42,465
and what I can do to help.

782
00:37:43,730 --> 00:37:45,862
No, that's all right, love.

783
00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:46,998
I'll sort it myself.

784
00:37:51,229 --> 00:37:55,832
To miss once was unlucky,
to miss again, unthinkable.

785
00:37:59,796 --> 00:38:02,662
Since signing the contract,

786
00:38:02,664 --> 00:38:04,665
his problems hadn't
seemed so bad,

787
00:38:05,864 --> 00:38:06,964
except one.

788
00:38:08,531 --> 00:38:09,965
And that could
happen at any moment.

789
00:38:11,031 --> 00:38:13,965
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

790
00:38:30,063 --> 00:38:31,794
Hey.

791
00:38:31,796 --> 00:38:34,529
WILLIAM: How do
you know where I live?

792
00:38:34,531 --> 00:38:35,562
It was on your manuscript.

793
00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:37,128
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC)

794
00:38:37,130 --> 00:38:40,961
♪ Running into one another ♪

795
00:38:40,963 --> 00:38:44,528
♪ Outside a cafe in Paris ♪

796
00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:46,931
I thought we could
start work on your book.

797
00:38:47,797 --> 00:38:48,761
But I thought...

798
00:38:48,763 --> 00:38:50,097
I've got nothing else on.

799
00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:53,961
I'm on compassionate leave.

800
00:38:53,963 --> 00:38:56,064
You know, for the trauma.

801
00:38:58,130 --> 00:38:58,965
Can I have one?

802
00:39:02,229 --> 00:39:04,160
And are you?

803
00:39:04,162 --> 00:39:05,661
What?

804
00:39:05,663 --> 00:39:07,230
Traumatized?

805
00:39:11,097 --> 00:39:12,231
Oh yeah.

806
00:39:13,796 --> 00:39:15,127
Totally.

807
00:39:15,129 --> 00:39:18,561
Yeah, a man was shot
right in front of us.

808
00:39:18,563 --> 00:39:21,497
That's gonna, obviously it's...

809
00:39:23,163 --> 00:39:25,664
But I probably will
get promoted now, so,

810
00:39:27,197 --> 00:39:29,595
well, he was a total dick!

811
00:39:29,597 --> 00:39:31,262
And I mean, as I
said to the police,

812
00:39:31,264 --> 00:39:33,497
loads of people wanted him dead.

813
00:39:36,230 --> 00:39:38,528
Are you working
on something new?

814
00:39:38,530 --> 00:39:39,564
No, that's...

815
00:39:42,031 --> 00:39:45,528
(SIREN WAILING)

816
00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:48,194
Your know my friend does
these new writing nights.

817
00:39:48,196 --> 00:39:49,031
You should come.

818
00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:51,931
There's music, beer,

819
00:39:54,096 --> 00:39:55,564
other fuck ups.

820
00:39:59,897 --> 00:40:02,261
So how do you want this to work?

821
00:40:02,263 --> 00:40:03,262
I've had some ideas
on the structure.

822
00:40:03,264 --> 00:40:05,729
I think we should meet
every couple of days...

823
00:40:05,731 --> 00:40:08,731
That sounds great,
but I told you, I can't.

824
00:40:10,730 --> 00:40:11,595
Of course you can.

825
00:40:11,597 --> 00:40:14,128
No, I'm sorry.

826
00:40:14,130 --> 00:40:14,996
Do you really want to
be stuck in this flat

827
00:40:14,998 --> 00:40:16,762
your whole life?

828
00:40:16,764 --> 00:40:17,962
Look at it.

829
00:40:17,964 --> 00:40:19,194
It's no wonder you
want to kill yourself.

830
00:40:19,196 --> 00:40:20,294
You don't get it.

831
00:40:20,296 --> 00:40:23,695
I get that I
connected with your book

832
00:40:23,697 --> 00:40:25,798
and I think other
people will too.

833
00:40:27,597 --> 00:40:29,562
Isn't that what
you're looking for?

834
00:40:29,564 --> 00:40:33,531
Something to feel
less, what did you say?

835
00:40:34,697 --> 00:40:35,531
Adrift?

836
00:40:36,930 --> 00:40:38,928
But I...

837
00:40:38,930 --> 00:40:39,563
ELLIE: What?

838
00:40:42,062 --> 00:40:43,597
I have something to tell you.

839
00:40:45,597 --> 00:40:47,497
I employed the guy
who killed Brian.

840
00:40:53,531 --> 00:40:56,195
Why would you employ
someone to kill Brian?

841
00:40:56,197 --> 00:40:58,729
No, I employed him to kill me.

842
00:40:58,731 --> 00:41:01,231
But he missed and killed Brian.

843
00:41:03,997 --> 00:41:05,227
What?

844
00:41:05,229 --> 00:41:07,227
Well, I wasn't having
much luck on my own

845
00:41:07,229 --> 00:41:08,862
so I thought I'd outsource it.

846
00:41:08,864 --> 00:41:10,161
Outsource it?

847
00:41:10,163 --> 00:41:13,294
You outsource market research,

848
00:41:13,296 --> 00:41:14,995
you outsource website design,

849
00:41:14,997 --> 00:41:17,831
you don't outsource suicide.

850
00:41:18,830 --> 00:41:20,261
I did.

851
00:41:20,263 --> 00:41:22,564
What happens now Brian's
dead and you're not?

852
00:41:23,630 --> 00:41:24,464
I don't know.

853
00:41:25,229 --> 00:41:26,730
The contract lasts a week.

854
00:41:28,864 --> 00:41:29,928
Great!

855
00:41:29,930 --> 00:41:31,961
And what about our book?

856
00:41:31,963 --> 00:41:32,960
You know what?

857
00:41:32,962 --> 00:41:34,561
You have to postpone it.

858
00:41:34,563 --> 00:41:35,828
Post, what?

859
00:41:35,830 --> 00:41:36,794
Or call it off.

860
00:41:36,796 --> 00:41:38,227
I don't know.

861
00:41:38,229 --> 00:41:39,327
You got his number?

862
00:41:39,329 --> 00:41:41,630
You just, you call him and
tell him the deal's off.

863
00:41:43,097 --> 00:41:48,097
But I think it's a
non-refundable kind of thing.

864
00:41:48,831 --> 00:41:49,961
I signed a contract.

865
00:41:49,963 --> 00:41:51,161
Non-refundable?

866
00:41:51,163 --> 00:41:52,628
WILLIAM: Mm-hmm.

867
00:41:52,630 --> 00:41:54,628
You've agreed to be
killed by a hitman,

868
00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:56,595
I doubt that's legally binding.

869
00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:57,598
Call him.

870
00:42:07,530 --> 00:42:10,163
(PHONE RINGING)

871
00:42:15,764 --> 00:42:16,598
LESLIE: Shit.

872
00:42:21,296 --> 00:42:22,694
Fucking thing.

873
00:42:22,696 --> 00:42:25,564
(PHONE BEEPING)

874
00:42:26,797 --> 00:42:28,061
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

875
00:42:28,063 --> 00:42:30,030
Um, hello.

876
00:42:32,030 --> 00:42:32,865
Hello.

877
00:42:34,097 --> 00:42:34,931
How are you?

878
00:42:36,962 --> 00:42:38,864
Yes, I'm fine.

879
00:42:39,831 --> 00:42:40,894
You?

880
00:42:40,896 --> 00:42:42,664
Good, thank you.

881
00:42:44,630 --> 00:42:48,695
In fact, I've been
thinking and I'm thinking

882
00:42:48,697 --> 00:42:50,565
that I might want
to call it off.

883
00:42:51,230 --> 00:42:52,064
What?

884
00:42:53,130 --> 00:42:54,595
Sorry about that.

885
00:42:54,597 --> 00:42:55,561
But you signed a contract.

886
00:42:55,563 --> 00:42:59,628
Yes, I know, but look,
things have changed...

887
00:42:59,630 --> 00:43:00,928
Didn't you read
the small print?

888
00:43:00,930 --> 00:43:02,561
We've got an agreement.

889
00:43:02,563 --> 00:43:03,762
We have a contract.

890
00:43:03,764 --> 00:43:05,194
It's not legally binding!

891
00:43:05,196 --> 00:43:06,594
Oh, Jesus Christ!

892
00:43:06,596 --> 00:43:07,794
Take some responsibility!

893
00:43:07,796 --> 00:43:09,562
I'm doing the best I can.

894
00:43:09,564 --> 00:43:13,695
I'm one kill away and now
you want to call it off.

895
00:43:13,697 --> 00:43:16,531
Oh look, I tell
you what, fuck you.

896
00:43:17,630 --> 00:43:18,728
(GUN FIRING)

897
00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:19,927
(HEAVY ROCK MUSIC)

898
00:43:19,929 --> 00:43:20,765
We need to go.

899
00:43:31,696 --> 00:43:34,130
(GUN FIRING)

900
00:43:38,129 --> 00:43:39,595
Oh!

901
00:43:39,597 --> 00:43:41,562
♪ You found carousel
to ride around ♪

902
00:43:41,564 --> 00:43:42,529
♪ Take the mess
out of his specs ♪

903
00:43:42,531 --> 00:43:43,629
♪ And the size of his arm ♪

904
00:43:43,631 --> 00:43:46,561
♪ Force him to dress in black ♪

905
00:43:46,563 --> 00:43:47,795
♪ Then make him hold holster ♪

906
00:43:47,797 --> 00:43:49,194
♪ While you shoot
him in the back ♪

907
00:43:49,196 --> 00:43:51,661
♪ And you say I'm
only writing songs ♪

908
00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:54,294
♪ Son, get off your ass
and get a proper job ♪

909
00:43:54,296 --> 00:43:55,295
ELLIE: Here.

910
00:43:55,297 --> 00:43:56,131
What?

911
00:43:58,531 --> 00:43:59,794
Oi, what are you...

912
00:43:59,796 --> 00:44:02,529
No, I'm sorry but it's
already in the system.

913
00:44:02,531 --> 00:44:03,562
Oi!

914
00:44:03,564 --> 00:44:04,195
(GRUNTING)

915
00:44:04,197 --> 00:44:05,761
ELLIE: Go, go!

916
00:44:05,763 --> 00:44:06,729
Where are we going?

917
00:44:06,731 --> 00:44:07,894
ELLIE: I know somewhere!

918
00:44:07,896 --> 00:44:08,729
(GUN FIRING)

919
00:44:08,731 --> 00:44:11,661
(GRUNTING)

920
00:44:11,663 --> 00:44:13,661
♪ Just a tin tan toy ♪

921
00:44:13,663 --> 00:44:15,794
♪ A big fat boy ♪

922
00:44:15,796 --> 00:44:17,964
(MOANING)

923
00:44:20,029 --> 00:44:21,764
Oh, for God's sake.

924
00:44:22,697 --> 00:44:25,194
♪ Oh, boy ♪

925
00:44:25,196 --> 00:44:27,594
♪ Oh, boy ♪

926
00:44:27,596 --> 00:44:29,764
♪ Oh, boy ♪

927
00:44:30,795 --> 00:44:34,698
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

928
00:44:38,531 --> 00:44:43,531
♪ Ahhhh ♪

929
00:44:45,564 --> 00:44:47,561
♪ I'm just a tin pan boy ♪

930
00:44:47,563 --> 00:44:49,561
♪ Gonna take my toys ♪

931
00:44:49,563 --> 00:44:51,529
♪ Hey, you, Mr. Inheritor ♪

932
00:44:51,531 --> 00:44:54,860
♪ Hey, you, Mr. Inheritor ♪

933
00:44:54,862 --> 00:44:57,927
♪ You're just a tin pan toy ♪

934
00:44:57,929 --> 00:45:00,161
♪ A big fat boy ♪

935
00:45:00,163 --> 00:45:02,095
♪ Hey, you, Mr. Inheritor ♪

936
00:45:02,097 --> 00:45:05,694
♪ Hey, you, Mr. Inheritor ♪

937
00:45:05,696 --> 00:45:06,662
♪ Boy ♪

938
00:45:06,664 --> 00:45:09,195
♪ Oh, boy ♪

939
00:45:09,197 --> 00:45:11,761
♪ Oh, boy ♪

940
00:45:11,763 --> 00:45:14,127
♪ Boy ♪

941
00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:15,963
♪ Boy ♪

942
00:45:21,631 --> 00:45:22,662
ELLIE: I'll do wine.

943
00:45:22,664 --> 00:45:23,598
You do fire.

944
00:45:30,929 --> 00:45:31,763
Hello, Les.

945
00:45:34,029 --> 00:45:34,863
Harvey.

946
00:45:36,930 --> 00:45:39,261
So, we're in a
bit of shit here.

947
00:45:39,263 --> 00:45:40,628
Harvey...

948
00:45:40,630 --> 00:45:41,227
You are the
source of that shit.

949
00:45:41,229 --> 00:45:42,561
You're a shit factory.

950
00:45:42,563 --> 00:45:44,793
An incontinent shit factory.

951
00:45:44,795 --> 00:45:46,227
But, I'm fixing it.

952
00:45:46,229 --> 00:45:47,529
How are you doing that?

953
00:45:47,531 --> 00:45:49,628
By shooting a traffic warden?

954
00:45:49,630 --> 00:45:51,161
That was an accident.

955
00:45:51,163 --> 00:45:52,629
You're a real black spot
at the moment, aren't you?

956
00:45:52,631 --> 00:45:54,661
Worse than the fucking A14.

957
00:45:54,663 --> 00:45:56,861
The problem, Leslie,
is that our business

958
00:45:56,863 --> 00:45:59,927
is life and death and we can't
afford to have accidents,

959
00:45:59,929 --> 00:46:01,860
understand?

960
00:46:01,862 --> 00:46:03,661
We're professionals.

961
00:46:03,663 --> 00:46:05,693
We don't miss.

962
00:46:05,695 --> 00:46:08,030
Whoever heard of an
assassin with a shaky hand?

963
00:46:09,530 --> 00:46:10,860
You don't see Michael
J Fox running around

964
00:46:10,862 --> 00:46:12,629
shooting people, do you?

965
00:46:12,631 --> 00:46:13,495
And why not?

966
00:46:13,497 --> 00:46:15,160
Because he'd be
fucking terrible at it.

967
00:46:15,162 --> 00:46:18,995
No, Michael J Fox sticks to
raising money for his charity.

968
00:46:18,997 --> 00:46:21,060
He doesn't even do
much acting anymore,

969
00:46:21,062 --> 00:46:25,928
which is a shame because I'm
a big fan of Michael J Fox.

970
00:46:25,930 --> 00:46:28,860
Back to the Future,
Secret of my Success...

971
00:46:28,862 --> 00:46:29,830
Stuart Little.

972
00:46:32,829 --> 00:46:33,661
Why mention that?

973
00:46:33,663 --> 00:46:34,861
Why bring that up?

974
00:46:34,863 --> 00:46:36,061
He's in it.

975
00:46:36,063 --> 00:46:38,262
Only the voice, only
the fucking voice.

976
00:46:38,264 --> 00:46:40,960
Now, if you'd said Doc
Hollywood, I'd agree with you.

977
00:46:40,962 --> 00:46:41,794
Teen Wolf.

978
00:46:41,796 --> 00:46:43,594
Teen Wolf, exactly.

979
00:46:43,596 --> 00:46:46,194
But he doesn't do films anymore

980
00:46:46,196 --> 00:46:47,128
because he knows
he's not up to it.

981
00:46:47,130 --> 00:46:49,228
Do you see what I'm saying?

982
00:46:49,230 --> 00:46:50,594
Not really.

983
00:46:50,596 --> 00:46:51,996
Let me explain.

984
00:46:53,130 --> 00:46:53,964
You're done.

985
00:46:56,962 --> 00:46:58,595
What do you mean?

986
00:46:58,597 --> 00:47:00,262
Okay,

987
00:47:00,264 --> 00:47:03,660
no there's no clearer
way I can say this.

988
00:47:03,662 --> 00:47:04,763
You are done.

989
00:47:06,531 --> 00:47:07,660
You can't fire me.

990
00:47:07,662 --> 00:47:09,595
You haven't made your quota.

991
00:47:09,597 --> 00:47:11,160
But I'm only one hit away.

992
00:47:11,162 --> 00:47:12,861
Listen Shakin' Stevens.

993
00:47:12,863 --> 00:47:15,060
You missed, twice.

994
00:47:15,062 --> 00:47:16,061
You've had a good run.

995
00:47:16,063 --> 00:47:17,198
But as of now...

996
00:47:21,829 --> 00:47:24,693
(DRAWER OPENING)

997
00:47:24,695 --> 00:47:26,095
(CLOCK TICKING)

998
00:47:26,097 --> 00:47:27,597
We even got you a present.

999
00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:29,964
Look at that.

1000
00:47:31,130 --> 00:47:32,565
Fucking lovely.

1001
00:47:36,063 --> 00:47:38,627
Wha, for shooting
a traffic warden?

1002
00:47:38,629 --> 00:47:39,563
Come on!

1003
00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:40,461
No one gives a fuck
about traffic wardens.

1004
00:47:40,463 --> 00:47:43,161
No, you shot the womble
in the restaurant.

1005
00:47:43,163 --> 00:47:45,861
This is the reason
the guild was set up

1006
00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:47,895
and you've jeopardized
the entire thing.

1007
00:47:47,897 --> 00:47:51,160
Rules, regulations, contracts,

1008
00:47:51,162 --> 00:47:54,195
without those you're
just a tit with a gun.

1009
00:47:54,197 --> 00:47:56,728
But the target ducked
when I took a shot at him.

1010
00:47:56,730 --> 00:47:58,095
It could happen to anyone.

1011
00:47:58,097 --> 00:47:59,660
To be honest it
could've been worse.

1012
00:47:59,662 --> 00:48:02,465
There was a contract out
on the guy you shot anyway.

1013
00:48:03,197 --> 00:48:04,028
Oh, Jesus.

1014
00:48:04,030 --> 00:48:04,961
What are the chances?

1015
00:48:04,963 --> 00:48:06,194
The universe works in ways

1016
00:48:06,196 --> 00:48:08,529
that people like us
will never understand.

1017
00:48:08,531 --> 00:48:11,261
(CLOCK TICKING)

1018
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,465
Brian Bentley.

1019
00:48:14,696 --> 00:48:16,498
Here, you can read all about it.

1020
00:48:25,962 --> 00:48:26,831
So, um,

1021
00:48:27,962 --> 00:48:30,560
if I completed the contract...

1022
00:48:29,596 --> 00:48:30,462
Don't get cheeky.

1023
00:48:30,464 --> 00:48:32,529
Pavel was furious
when he found out.

1024
00:48:32,531 --> 00:48:34,696
He'd just put a
deposit on a new car.

1025
00:48:38,030 --> 00:48:40,497
So, what happens now?

1026
00:48:41,863 --> 00:48:43,128
You take your zimmer frame

1027
00:48:43,130 --> 00:48:45,527
and fuck off into the
sunset of retirement.

1028
00:48:45,529 --> 00:48:47,694
Just don't take up golf.

1029
00:48:47,696 --> 00:48:48,764
Golf is for cunts.

1030
00:48:50,096 --> 00:48:52,560
But if I finish this
contract I can make my quota.

1031
00:48:52,562 --> 00:48:53,697
It's been reassigned.

1032
00:48:57,196 --> 00:48:58,227
Who to?

1033
00:48:58,229 --> 00:48:59,063
Ivan.

1034
00:49:00,762 --> 00:49:01,629
Look at him.

1035
00:49:02,795 --> 00:49:04,763
Like a fucking
bear with alopecia.

1036
00:49:07,529 --> 00:49:09,231
They're hardcore,
these Russians.

1037
00:49:10,264 --> 00:49:11,129
It's a different game now, Les.

1038
00:49:11,131 --> 00:49:13,194
You're getting out
at the best time.

1039
00:49:13,196 --> 00:49:14,262
But this is what I do.

1040
00:49:14,264 --> 00:49:15,693
Not any more.

1041
00:49:15,695 --> 00:49:16,627
This job means
everything to me.

1042
00:49:16,629 --> 00:49:19,627
Killing people gives
me a reason to live!

1043
00:49:19,629 --> 00:49:21,295
It's a terrible
thing, getting old.

1044
00:49:21,297 --> 00:49:22,628
Please, Harvey.

1045
00:49:22,630 --> 00:49:23,627
I'm begging you.

1046
00:49:23,629 --> 00:49:24,561
It's so close.

1047
00:49:24,563 --> 00:49:25,994
This is no way for me to go out.

1048
00:49:25,996 --> 00:49:29,095
You can't fucking go around
fucking shooting people!

1049
00:49:29,097 --> 00:49:30,895
It's not what we fucking do!

1050
00:49:30,897 --> 00:49:33,961
What happened to you, Mr.
One-foot-in-the-fucking-grave?

1051
00:49:33,963 --> 00:49:36,061
You were the best
and now look at you!

1052
00:49:36,063 --> 00:49:37,261
Hanging around Beachy Head,

1053
00:49:37,263 --> 00:49:39,995
handing out your
fucking business cards.

1054
00:49:39,997 --> 00:49:41,465
It's desperate.

1055
00:49:42,929 --> 00:49:46,194
(OMINOUS ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC)

1056
00:49:46,196 --> 00:49:48,863
(CLOCK TICKING)

1057
00:49:53,263 --> 00:49:54,095
(SIGHING)

1058
00:49:54,097 --> 00:49:55,161
There's no shame in it.

1059
00:49:55,163 --> 00:49:55,964
We all get old.

1060
00:49:57,197 --> 00:49:59,597
Now take the fucking clock.

1061
00:50:03,862 --> 00:50:05,231
I'm not taking the clock.

1062
00:50:07,596 --> 00:50:08,761
Take the fucking
clock, Leslie.

1063
00:50:08,763 --> 00:50:11,897
Or you will find things getting
a whole lot fucking worse.

1064
00:50:14,097 --> 00:50:14,931
No.

1065
00:50:35,696 --> 00:50:37,231
HARVEY: He's
become a liability.

1066
00:50:38,663 --> 00:50:40,863
Someone should shoot
him in the fucking head.

1067
00:50:51,129 --> 00:50:51,930
Here.

1068
00:50:54,596 --> 00:50:55,997
WILLIAM: Did you try again?

1069
00:50:57,595 --> 00:50:58,563
It passed.

1070
00:51:01,795 --> 00:51:03,527
I failed to kill
myself so many times

1071
00:51:03,529 --> 00:51:05,629
I began to think I
might be immortal.

1072
00:51:06,863 --> 00:51:08,529
I guarantee
you're not immortal.

1073
00:51:10,030 --> 00:51:12,198
You're just terrible at dying.

1074
00:51:14,062 --> 00:51:16,596
(CHUCKLING)

1075
00:51:20,695 --> 00:51:21,629
Whose house is this?

1076
00:51:23,996 --> 00:51:25,463
Ummm, no idea.

1077
00:51:26,796 --> 00:51:28,295
What?

1078
00:51:28,297 --> 00:51:30,560
I just really hope they
don't come home tonight.

1079
00:51:30,562 --> 00:51:31,198
What?

1080
00:51:32,596 --> 00:51:33,828
You can't go breaking
into people's houses!

1081
00:51:33,830 --> 00:51:36,095
Yeah, and you can't go employing
an assassin to kill you,

1082
00:51:36,097 --> 00:51:37,728
but shit happens.

1083
00:51:37,730 --> 00:51:39,960
I'm sorry, okay?

1084
00:51:39,962 --> 00:51:44,763
I thought it was the answer,
but it was a mistake.

1085
00:51:46,796 --> 00:51:47,963
Relax, it's my house.

1086
00:51:48,962 --> 00:51:49,863
I grew up here.

1087
00:51:51,063 --> 00:51:54,464
It was my parents'
but now it's mine.

1088
00:51:57,130 --> 00:51:58,497
How did they die?

1089
00:51:59,696 --> 00:52:00,497
I told you.

1090
00:52:01,197 --> 00:52:01,996
Car crash.

1091
00:52:04,629 --> 00:52:05,231
God.

1092
00:52:06,596 --> 00:52:07,597
I was dead too.

1093
00:52:08,795 --> 00:52:10,864
For 10 seconds.

1094
00:52:12,030 --> 00:52:12,864
Really?

1095
00:52:13,963 --> 00:52:15,794
What was it like?

1096
00:52:15,796 --> 00:52:17,063
It was only 10 seconds.

1097
00:52:18,297 --> 00:52:21,697
Yes, but what
did it feel like?

1098
00:52:24,629 --> 00:52:25,596
It felt like nothing.

1099
00:52:26,663 --> 00:52:28,160
Literally nothing.

1100
00:52:28,162 --> 00:52:29,697
A total empty void.

1101
00:52:31,197 --> 00:52:32,031
Oh.

1102
00:52:33,562 --> 00:52:34,596
My parents are dead too.

1103
00:52:36,929 --> 00:52:38,660
Well, look at us.

1104
00:52:38,662 --> 00:52:39,696
Two scarred orphans.

1105
00:52:41,295 --> 00:52:42,497
They were crushed.

1106
00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:47,664
Crushed?

1107
00:52:49,930 --> 00:52:51,161
We went for ice cream.

1108
00:52:51,163 --> 00:52:52,961
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1109
00:52:52,963 --> 00:52:54,597
My parents were arm in arm,

1110
00:52:56,963 --> 00:52:59,628
taking licks of each
other's ice creams,

1111
00:52:59,630 --> 00:53:01,793
(LAUGHING)

1112
00:53:01,795 --> 00:53:02,563
laughing.

1113
00:53:05,296 --> 00:53:06,630
So much in love.

1114
00:53:10,229 --> 00:53:11,863
They didn't see the piano fall

1115
00:53:15,596 --> 00:53:17,694
(PIANO CRASHING)

1116
00:53:17,696 --> 00:53:19,864
(GASPING)

1117
00:53:22,197 --> 00:53:24,464
Mum was splattered
all over the pavement.

1118
00:53:26,830 --> 00:53:27,964
Dad was still alive.

1119
00:53:29,562 --> 00:53:30,198
Dad, dad!

1120
00:53:33,030 --> 00:53:36,864
He looked so surprised.

1121
00:53:41,029 --> 00:53:41,864
Hold on, Dad!

1122
00:53:43,262 --> 00:53:44,895
Come here, son.

1123
00:53:44,897 --> 00:53:48,597
And I thought, "Oh
my god, this is it.

1124
00:53:52,530 --> 00:53:56,629
"At this moment, on
the very edge of life,

1125
00:53:57,596 --> 00:54:00,197
"he's about to give
me its great secret."

1126
00:54:03,530 --> 00:54:05,760
(GASPING)

1127
00:54:05,762 --> 00:54:08,063
But he just died.

1128
00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:11,661
That's...

1129
00:54:11,663 --> 00:54:12,894
That's life's great trick,

1130
00:54:12,896 --> 00:54:15,895
to make you think
it'll last forever,

1131
00:54:15,897 --> 00:54:18,597
that you might be the exception.

1132
00:54:19,862 --> 00:54:23,563
That's what's so
unbearable, when you realize

1133
00:54:25,695 --> 00:54:26,529
that you're not.

1134
00:54:30,062 --> 00:54:30,896
Let's do it.

1135
00:54:32,262 --> 00:54:33,793
What?

1136
00:54:33,795 --> 00:54:34,627
Kill ourselves.

1137
00:54:34,629 --> 00:54:35,464
What, now?

1138
00:54:36,662 --> 00:54:38,163
Yeah, why not?

1139
00:54:40,663 --> 00:54:42,828
Why are we struggling on?

1140
00:54:42,830 --> 00:54:44,860
I mean, for what purpose?

1141
00:54:44,862 --> 00:54:49,063
Best to just kill ourselves
now and get it over with.

1142
00:54:52,062 --> 00:54:53,159
Up!

1143
00:54:53,161 --> 00:54:53,996
Come on!

1144
00:54:58,662 --> 00:55:01,561
Though if there
are reasons to live

1145
00:55:01,563 --> 00:55:04,661
I'm not sure we'll find
them by killing ourselves.

1146
00:55:04,663 --> 00:55:06,496
Seems counter-intuitive.

1147
00:55:07,729 --> 00:55:10,561
I would think we would have
a better chance by living.

1148
00:55:10,563 --> 00:55:13,060
Living as much as possible.

1149
00:55:13,062 --> 00:55:14,863
Doing as much as possible.

1150
00:55:15,962 --> 00:55:17,930
Before a piano
falls on our heads.

1151
00:55:19,262 --> 00:55:20,828
But I'm sure you're right.

1152
00:55:20,830 --> 00:55:22,797
You have thought
about it more than me.

1153
00:55:27,629 --> 00:55:28,529
On three?

1154
00:55:29,730 --> 00:55:32,693
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1155
00:55:32,695 --> 00:55:33,529
One,

1156
00:55:36,562 --> 00:55:37,197
two,

1157
00:55:39,229 --> 00:55:40,061
three.

1158
00:55:40,063 --> 00:55:42,464
(ROCK MUSIC)

1159
00:56:00,295 --> 00:56:02,496
Your feet are so cold!

1160
00:56:08,563 --> 00:56:10,629
What've you got that for?

1161
00:56:14,595 --> 00:56:15,763
I'm gonna book the cruise.

1162
00:56:18,129 --> 00:56:20,628
I don't want to talk about it.

1163
00:56:20,630 --> 00:56:24,226
I know you're upset,
but it's exciting.

1164
00:56:24,228 --> 00:56:26,827
The start of the
rest of our lives.

1165
00:56:26,829 --> 00:56:28,561
The start of the
end of our lives.

1166
00:56:28,563 --> 00:56:29,393
Oh, Les, that's a bit...

1167
00:56:29,395 --> 00:56:30,961
I just don't want
to talk about it.

1168
00:56:30,963 --> 00:56:32,928
It's retirement, that's all.

1169
00:56:32,930 --> 00:56:34,564
But it means I'm useless.

1170
00:56:36,129 --> 00:56:39,528
Think of all the new
experiences waiting for you.

1171
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:40,828
You should learn to play golf.

1172
00:56:40,830 --> 00:56:41,660
Ugghh!

1173
00:56:41,662 --> 00:56:42,463
Golf is for...

1174
00:56:44,595 --> 00:56:45,426
I mean, look at this!

1175
00:56:45,428 --> 00:56:46,827
Look at this, do
you remember this?

1176
00:56:46,829 --> 00:56:50,528
You gave this to
me, Christmas, 1997.

1177
00:56:50,530 --> 00:56:53,661
Look, I was a the
top of my game.

1178
00:56:53,663 --> 00:56:57,660
I had dominion
over death itself.

1179
00:56:57,662 --> 00:56:58,496
And now?

1180
00:56:59,296 --> 00:57:01,464
I'm just waiting to die.

1181
00:57:02,663 --> 00:57:05,127
If I don't work, who am I?

1182
00:57:05,129 --> 00:57:05,964
What am I?

1183
00:57:07,295 --> 00:57:09,693
I mean, you must look at
me sometimes and think,

1184
00:57:09,695 --> 00:57:11,760
"Where's the man I married?"

1185
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:12,895
You're right.

1186
00:57:12,897 --> 00:57:15,126
You're not the man I married.

1187
00:57:15,128 --> 00:57:18,094
The man I married didn't
wallow in self-pity.

1188
00:57:18,096 --> 00:57:20,860
He did things on his own terms.

1189
00:57:20,862 --> 00:57:22,661
I don't want to retire.

1190
00:57:22,663 --> 00:57:24,660
Not yet, I'm not ready.

1191
00:57:24,662 --> 00:57:25,694
Oh for god's sake!

1192
00:57:25,696 --> 00:57:26,530
Then don't.

1193
00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:30,528
I thought you wanted me to.

1194
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:31,427
I do.

1195
00:57:31,429 --> 00:57:33,760
But not if you're
going to be miserable.

1196
00:57:33,762 --> 00:57:35,727
I want you to want it too.

1197
00:57:35,729 --> 00:57:38,261
Yeah, but I can't, Harvey is...

1198
00:57:38,263 --> 00:57:39,761
You've got to show him.

1199
00:57:39,763 --> 00:57:43,159
Finish the contract
and make your quota.

1200
00:57:43,161 --> 00:57:46,597
Show him you've still
got the killer instinct.

1201
00:57:49,563 --> 00:57:50,163
Done!

1202
00:57:51,695 --> 00:57:54,897
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1203
00:58:09,896 --> 00:58:13,059
ELLIE: Could you choose
how to you wanted to die?

1204
00:58:13,061 --> 00:58:14,694
With Leslie?

1205
00:58:14,696 --> 00:58:15,827
Yeah.

1206
00:58:15,829 --> 00:58:16,959
Yes.

1207
00:58:16,961 --> 00:58:18,894
There were lots of options.

1208
00:58:18,896 --> 00:58:20,561
He had a brochure.

1209
00:58:20,563 --> 00:58:22,593
A brochure?

1210
00:58:22,595 --> 00:58:23,230
Yeah.

1211
00:58:24,595 --> 00:58:25,995
What did you choose?

1212
00:58:26,896 --> 00:58:29,193
Quick and painless.

1213
00:58:29,195 --> 00:58:32,094
I didn't want that, but
it's all I could afford.

1214
00:58:32,096 --> 00:58:33,561
What did you want?

1215
00:58:33,563 --> 00:58:35,593
I wanted to be hit by a truck

1216
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:37,629
after pushing a
child out of the way.

1217
00:58:40,563 --> 00:58:42,160
What's wrong with that?

1218
00:58:42,162 --> 00:58:43,630
It's a bit extravagant.

1219
00:58:44,729 --> 00:58:46,528
I thought it was heroic.

1220
00:58:46,530 --> 00:58:47,329
It would mean something.

1221
00:58:48,729 --> 00:58:50,560
But it wouldn't
be real, would it?

1222
00:58:50,562 --> 00:58:51,461
Well...

1223
00:58:51,463 --> 00:58:52,993
And what if you hadn't
got there in time?

1224
00:58:52,995 --> 00:58:54,226
What do you mean?

1225
00:58:54,228 --> 00:58:55,361
If you hadn't
got there in time.

1226
00:58:55,363 --> 00:58:57,593
If you misjudged the speed
of the truck or something,

1227
00:58:57,595 --> 00:58:59,261
you'd put a child in danger

1228
00:58:59,263 --> 00:59:01,464
just so you could
have your dream death?

1229
00:59:02,595 --> 00:59:05,293
Well, uh, I guess
the child wouldn't be

1230
00:59:05,295 --> 00:59:06,361
in any real danger.

1231
00:59:06,363 --> 00:59:08,627
How could the child
not be in any real danger

1232
00:59:08,629 --> 00:59:10,596
if it's about to
be hit by a truck?

1233
00:59:13,262 --> 00:59:15,294
I don't know the details.

1234
00:59:15,296 --> 00:59:17,527
I guess the truck would
be going quite slowly.

1235
00:59:17,529 --> 00:59:18,827
So you'd be saving a child

1236
00:59:18,829 --> 00:59:20,593
that's not really in any danger

1237
00:59:20,595 --> 00:59:22,563
from a truck going quite slowly.

1238
00:59:24,129 --> 00:59:26,627
On a scale of things that
could be considered heroic,

1239
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,029
I doubt that would
score very highly.

1240
00:59:31,195 --> 00:59:32,694
Hmmmm, I dunno.

1241
00:59:32,696 --> 00:59:34,661
What were the other options?

1242
00:59:34,663 --> 00:59:36,463
Oh, you know.

1243
00:59:37,629 --> 00:59:40,729
Shot in the head,
strangled, poisoned.

1244
00:59:41,961 --> 00:59:43,563
Anything more interesting?

1245
00:59:44,896 --> 00:59:46,896
Stung by a scorpion?

1246
00:59:48,096 --> 00:59:49,727
Melted in acid?

1247
00:59:49,729 --> 00:59:52,059
Drowned in slurry?

1248
00:59:52,061 --> 00:59:54,529
(LAUGHING)

1249
00:59:56,096 --> 00:59:57,763
I've never met
anyone like you.

1250
00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:02,127
Now, see what you
could've missed out on?

1251
01:00:02,129 --> 01:00:03,831
And it only gets
better from here.

1252
01:00:10,062 --> 01:00:11,994
Did you take your pills?

1253
01:00:11,996 --> 01:00:13,093
You know what the doctor said.

1254
01:00:13,095 --> 01:00:14,661
I don't want you
getting excited.

1255
01:00:14,663 --> 01:00:16,528
Yes love, don't worry.

1256
01:00:16,530 --> 01:00:17,860
What time is Clive coming?

1257
01:00:17,862 --> 01:00:18,794
He should've been here by now.

1258
01:00:18,796 --> 01:00:21,126
We have to register by 10.

1259
01:00:21,128 --> 01:00:24,694
You really think it's up to
Southern Counties standard?

1260
01:00:24,696 --> 01:00:26,160
I'm not embarrassing myself?

1261
01:00:26,162 --> 01:00:27,794
Of course not.

1262
01:00:27,796 --> 01:00:30,527
I think it's up to
national standard!

1263
01:00:30,529 --> 01:00:31,660
I wish you were coming.

1264
01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:33,261
I've made you some sandwiches.

1265
01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:34,728
And a flask of tea.

1266
01:00:34,730 --> 01:00:36,226
And I thought, well,

1267
01:00:36,228 --> 01:00:38,629
I thought this
might come in handy.

1268
01:00:43,563 --> 01:00:45,660
Penelope O'Neil,

1269
01:00:45,662 --> 01:00:48,894
I don't think it is possible
to love you any more than I do

1270
01:00:48,896 --> 01:00:49,860
right now.

1271
01:00:49,862 --> 01:00:51,761
And you'll be back tomorrow?

1272
01:00:51,763 --> 01:00:52,993
Yeah.

1273
01:00:52,995 --> 01:00:54,293
I'll do lamb
cutlets for dinner.

1274
01:00:54,295 --> 01:00:56,193
Ahhh, my favorite!

1275
01:00:56,195 --> 01:00:57,661
Where are you going?

1276
01:00:57,663 --> 01:00:58,294
(DOORBELL CHIMING)

1277
01:00:58,296 --> 01:00:59,497
That'll be Clive.

1278
01:01:00,662 --> 01:01:01,693
Wish me luck!

1279
01:01:01,695 --> 01:01:02,664
Good luck.

1280
01:01:13,996 --> 01:01:16,093
(CAR STARTING)

1281
01:01:16,095 --> 01:01:19,663
(OMINOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1282
01:02:06,228 --> 01:02:07,728
See you tomorrow, boys

1283
01:02:18,595 --> 01:02:21,196
(DOOR CLOSING)

1284
01:02:44,663 --> 01:02:47,597
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

1285
01:02:58,062 --> 01:02:59,661
RADIO ANNOUNCER:
World's strongest man

1286
01:02:59,663 --> 01:03:02,060
and celebrity budgie
fancier Geoff Capes

1287
01:03:02,062 --> 01:03:05,129
in the studio to
discuss his recessive...

1288
01:03:09,529 --> 01:03:12,197
(GROUP CHATTERING)

1289
01:03:32,195 --> 01:03:35,193
Now this, number three,
has a lovely kaleidoscope.

1290
01:03:35,195 --> 01:03:38,129
(GROUP CHATTERING)

1291
01:03:47,695 --> 01:03:48,696
Hello, is it on?

1292
01:03:50,262 --> 01:03:51,563
Hello, yes, that's better.

1293
01:04:07,296 --> 01:04:12,463
And in third place,
number 14, Sue Simmons.

1294
01:04:12,996 --> 01:04:14,626
Well done, Sue!

1295
01:04:14,628 --> 01:04:17,563
(GROUP APPLAUDING)

1296
01:04:33,961 --> 01:04:35,792
And in second place,

1297
01:04:35,794 --> 01:04:40,293
not quite up to her usual
all-conquering standard,

1298
01:04:40,295 --> 01:04:42,527
Morag Bleasdale!

1299
01:04:42,529 --> 01:04:44,593
So sorry, Morag.

1300
01:04:44,595 --> 01:04:45,959
Well done, Morag!

1301
01:04:45,961 --> 01:04:46,792
Beautiful work.

1302
01:04:46,794 --> 01:04:49,695
(GROUP APPLAUDING)

1303
01:04:50,862 --> 01:04:53,627
But as we all know its
not the taking part,

1304
01:04:53,629 --> 01:04:55,560
it's the winning that counts.

1305
01:04:55,562 --> 01:04:57,830
(LAUGHING)

1306
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:01,994
So the winner of this
year's Southern Counties

1307
01:05:01,996 --> 01:05:04,859
Binnual Needlework and
Embroidery competition,

1308
01:05:04,861 --> 01:05:08,862
cushion category is,
drum roll please.

1309
01:05:18,196 --> 01:05:19,463
LESLIE: Hello, William.

1310
01:05:21,095 --> 01:05:23,693
(LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1311
01:05:23,695 --> 01:05:24,926
How did you...

1312
01:05:24,928 --> 01:05:26,895
LESLIE: I told you
I was up to the job.

1313
01:05:28,061 --> 01:05:29,593
WILLIAM: But
everything has changed!

1314
01:05:29,595 --> 01:05:30,497
I don't want to die.

1315
01:05:31,995 --> 01:05:33,926
(LAUGHING)

1316
01:05:33,928 --> 01:05:36,496
The irony is not lost on me.

1317
01:05:37,629 --> 01:05:38,629
Who are you talking...

1318
01:05:39,594 --> 01:05:40,627
Oh.

1319
01:05:40,629 --> 01:05:41,559
Oh, great!

1320
01:05:41,561 --> 01:05:43,294
Now I have to kill you both.

1321
01:05:43,296 --> 01:05:44,227
No!

1322
01:05:44,229 --> 01:05:45,827
Please, she won't say anything.

1323
01:05:45,829 --> 01:05:46,659
Will you?

1324
01:05:46,661 --> 01:05:47,496
She won't.

1325
01:05:48,561 --> 01:05:49,159
I might.

1326
01:05:49,161 --> 01:05:51,859
No, you won't!

1327
01:05:51,861 --> 01:05:55,860
Okay, well, ummm,
you're definitely dying,

1328
01:05:55,862 --> 01:05:57,527
so let's get that
out of the way first,

1329
01:05:57,529 --> 01:06:00,560
and then I can work out
what to do with you.

1330
01:06:00,562 --> 01:06:03,528
So, um, have a good death.

1331
01:06:06,561 --> 01:06:07,194
(PHONE RINGING)

1332
01:06:07,196 --> 01:06:08,592
Oh!

1333
01:06:08,594 --> 01:06:09,463
Sorry.

1334
01:06:13,095 --> 01:06:15,763
(PHONE BEEPING)

1335
01:06:18,562 --> 01:06:20,159
(PHONE RINGING)

1336
01:06:20,161 --> 01:06:20,794
Oh.

1337
01:06:21,961 --> 01:06:23,660
Jesus, can't you turn it off?

1338
01:06:23,662 --> 01:06:25,060
Yes, I really
have to take this.

1339
01:06:25,062 --> 01:06:25,859
Sure.

1340
01:06:25,861 --> 01:06:27,094
Go ahead.

1341
01:06:27,096 --> 01:06:29,293
It's only my life that
we're dealing with here.

1342
01:06:29,295 --> 01:06:30,526
(PHONE BEEPING)

1343
01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:33,093
Hello, sweetheart?

1344
01:06:33,095 --> 01:06:35,626
Yes, uh, I'm sort of in
the middle of something.

1345
01:06:35,628 --> 01:06:37,060
Oh, Les!

1346
01:06:37,062 --> 01:06:37,927
Something terrible's happened.

1347
01:06:37,929 --> 01:06:39,194
What?

1348
01:06:39,196 --> 01:06:40,462
Is this about the
Southern Counties?

1349
01:06:43,096 --> 01:06:45,560
We've had a break in, Les.

1350
01:06:45,562 --> 01:06:47,563
There's papers everywhere.

1351
01:06:49,262 --> 01:06:52,528
And, Les, they've
killed the budgies.

1352
01:06:53,195 --> 01:06:54,560
What?

1353
01:06:54,562 --> 01:06:55,629
Is everything okay?

1354
01:06:57,196 --> 01:07:00,527
They look like
they've been crushed.

1355
01:07:00,529 --> 01:07:02,893
Ah, ah, all
right, I have to go.

1356
01:07:02,895 --> 01:07:04,860
PENNY: Oh Les,
who would do this?

1357
01:07:04,862 --> 01:07:08,463
I'll work it out,
but ah, I have to go.

1358
01:07:09,861 --> 01:07:12,528
(PHONE BEEPING)

1359
01:07:13,629 --> 01:07:15,462
Someone killed my budgies.

1360
01:07:18,629 --> 01:07:19,463
Budgies?

1361
01:07:20,694 --> 01:07:21,792
Mm-hmm

1362
01:07:21,794 --> 01:07:22,629
I'm sorry.

1363
01:07:25,761 --> 01:07:27,660
So, where were we?

1364
01:07:27,662 --> 01:07:28,959
Ah, yes!

1365
01:07:28,961 --> 01:07:29,792
(GUN FIRING)

1366
01:07:29,794 --> 01:07:31,960
(GASPING)

1367
01:07:31,962 --> 01:07:35,863
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1368
01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:47,159
Who the fuck are you?

1369
01:07:47,161 --> 01:07:48,593
Well, thanks.

1370
01:07:48,595 --> 01:07:50,529
That guy was going to kill us!

1371
01:07:52,695 --> 01:07:53,529
Oh.

1372
01:07:55,996 --> 01:07:56,830
What?

1373
01:08:00,629 --> 01:08:03,163
Now, you shoot yourself.

1374
01:08:04,561 --> 01:08:05,692
What?

1375
01:08:05,694 --> 01:08:07,159
Why would I want to do that?

1376
01:08:07,161 --> 01:08:08,559
Or I shoot her.

1377
01:08:08,561 --> 01:08:10,626
Don't bring me into this.

1378
01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:11,627
Okay, okay.

1379
01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:13,160
Let's not...

1380
01:08:13,162 --> 01:08:16,692
Wait, why do I have
to shoot myself?

1381
01:08:16,694 --> 01:08:17,728
Why can't you do it?

1382
01:08:31,695 --> 01:08:32,562
For suicide.

1383
01:08:35,562 --> 01:08:37,027
You shot him

1384
01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:37,963
then you shot you.

1385
01:08:39,661 --> 01:08:40,529
I was never here.

1386
01:08:41,729 --> 01:08:43,563
Ah yeah, makes sense.

1387
01:08:44,528 --> 01:08:45,529
And you'll let her go?

1388
01:08:46,662 --> 01:08:49,026
Well then I have no incentive.

1389
01:08:49,028 --> 01:08:50,226
If you're going to
kill her anyway,

1390
01:08:50,228 --> 01:08:51,163
okay, okay.

1391
01:08:53,263 --> 01:08:54,527
Wait a minute.

1392
01:08:54,529 --> 01:08:55,893
You shot him with that gun

1393
01:08:55,895 --> 01:08:58,229
so he can't shoot
himself with this gun.

1394
01:09:01,694 --> 01:09:03,529
Yeah, she's got a point.

1395
01:09:06,528 --> 01:09:07,626
I don't understand.

1396
01:09:07,628 --> 01:09:10,628
You take this gun and
then you give me that one.

1397
01:09:20,529 --> 01:09:22,260
Okay, now shoot.

1398
01:09:22,262 --> 01:09:23,093
Okay, Jesus!

1399
01:09:23,095 --> 01:09:24,595
Just let me,

1400
01:09:26,628 --> 01:09:27,759
oh God.

1401
01:09:27,761 --> 01:09:29,127
Will, what are you doing?

1402
01:09:29,129 --> 01:09:30,660
Five.

1403
01:09:30,662 --> 01:09:32,959
I just want you to know...

1404
01:09:32,961 --> 01:09:34,693
Four.

1405
01:09:34,695 --> 01:09:35,960
I just want you to know
that ever since I met you

1406
01:09:35,962 --> 01:09:38,527
I haven't thought about
killing myself once.

1407
01:09:38,529 --> 01:09:39,893
Three.

1408
01:09:39,895 --> 01:09:41,592
Thank you.

1409
01:09:41,594 --> 01:09:42,229
Two.

1410
01:09:43,794 --> 01:09:44,692
One.

1411
01:09:44,694 --> 01:09:48,559
(KNIFE STABBING)
(GRUNTING)

1412
01:09:48,561 --> 01:09:50,830
(GRUNTING)

1413
01:09:53,694 --> 01:09:56,628
(HEAVY PUNCHING)

1414
01:09:57,794 --> 01:09:59,629
You killed my budgies.

1415
01:10:10,962 --> 01:10:12,462
I think he's dead.

1416
01:10:13,562 --> 01:10:14,596
Yeah.

1417
01:10:15,828 --> 01:10:16,795
Are you okay?

1418
01:10:18,262 --> 01:10:21,130
Oh, it's only a,
it's a flesh wound.

1419
01:10:24,628 --> 01:10:27,659
Well, I suppose we'd
better get on with this!

1420
01:10:27,661 --> 01:10:28,960
Oh fuck.

1421
01:10:28,962 --> 01:10:30,726
What, but you just saved him!

1422
01:10:30,728 --> 01:10:31,659
So I can kill him.

1423
01:10:31,661 --> 01:10:32,592
It's my contract!

1424
01:10:32,594 --> 01:10:34,692
It's not legally binding!

1425
01:10:34,694 --> 01:10:36,693
Oh, you're not
going to shoot me.

1426
01:10:36,695 --> 01:10:37,995
You can't even shoot yourself!

1427
01:10:40,227 --> 01:10:41,592
Oh, give it here.

1428
01:10:41,594 --> 01:10:42,660
Oh, this is
getting ridiculous.

1429
01:10:42,662 --> 01:10:43,759
Put the gun down.

1430
01:10:43,761 --> 01:10:46,159
You will not shoot that gun.

1431
01:10:46,161 --> 01:10:47,027
(GUN FIRING)

1432
01:10:47,029 --> 01:10:47,829
Whoa, careful!

1433
01:10:51,195 --> 01:10:52,995
Put the gun down.

1434
01:10:55,595 --> 01:10:56,692
You put the gun down.

1435
01:10:56,694 --> 01:10:57,659
I'm not putting the gun down.

1436
01:10:57,661 --> 01:10:58,493
Why would I put the gun down?

1437
01:10:58,495 --> 01:10:59,859
If you're not
putting your gun down

1438
01:10:59,861 --> 01:11:01,593
there's no way I'm
gonna put this gun down.

1439
01:11:01,595 --> 01:11:03,896
Then let's just stand here
until you bleed to death.

1440
01:11:05,228 --> 01:11:08,027
Leslie, I really
appreciate all your efforts,

1441
01:11:08,029 --> 01:11:10,192
but could we just call this off?

1442
01:11:10,194 --> 01:11:11,526
If it's about the money, then...

1443
01:11:11,528 --> 01:11:13,027
It's not about the money.

1444
01:11:13,029 --> 01:11:13,928
Then what is it?

1445
01:11:15,095 --> 01:11:16,760
I understand that you
have certain principles.

1446
01:11:16,762 --> 01:11:18,793
If I don't complete this
contract by next week,

1447
01:11:18,795 --> 01:11:22,559
I won't make my quota.

1448
01:11:22,561 --> 01:11:23,795
And then I'll have to retire.

1449
01:11:26,529 --> 01:11:27,463
Yeah well, umm,

1450
01:11:28,996 --> 01:11:32,560
uh, no, the only way
out of this is to, uh,

1451
01:11:32,562 --> 01:11:35,158
is to kill you both and
then say I never saw him.

1452
01:11:35,160 --> 01:11:38,029
Maybe then I'll be
able to keep my job.

1453
01:11:39,561 --> 01:11:44,562
If she puts her gun down,
will you promise to let her go?

1454
01:11:46,795 --> 01:11:48,229
My contract is with you.

1455
01:11:56,829 --> 01:12:00,026
I wanted to die because
I had nothing to live for.

1456
01:12:00,028 --> 01:12:01,862
And that's what I
was trying to find.

1457
01:12:02,995 --> 01:12:03,895
And now I found it.

1458
01:12:07,561 --> 01:12:09,196
And that's got to
be worth dying for.

1459
01:12:14,294 --> 01:12:16,059
You really think too much.

1460
01:12:16,061 --> 01:12:18,959
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1461
01:12:18,961 --> 01:12:20,462
I want to thank you, Leslie.

1462
01:12:21,895 --> 01:12:24,626
You were there for me when
I really needed someone,

1463
01:12:24,628 --> 01:12:27,195
even though you were trying
to kill me at the time.

1464
01:12:28,227 --> 01:12:29,729
Yes, you're welcome,

1465
01:12:31,228 --> 01:12:33,760
but I still have to kill you.

1466
01:12:33,762 --> 01:12:35,026
Okay.

1467
01:12:35,028 --> 01:12:35,860
Wait!

1468
01:12:35,862 --> 01:12:36,894
Oh, Jesus Christ!

1469
01:12:36,896 --> 01:12:38,125
What?

1470
01:12:38,127 --> 01:12:39,593
What if we take
out a contract?

1471
01:12:39,595 --> 01:12:40,226
What?

1472
01:12:40,228 --> 01:12:41,063
On who?

1473
01:12:42,628 --> 01:12:43,626
You mean on whom?

1474
01:12:43,628 --> 01:12:44,462
On whom?

1475
01:12:48,562 --> 01:12:50,693
Retrospectively?

1476
01:12:50,695 --> 01:12:51,495
Obviously.

1477
01:12:54,528 --> 01:12:58,560
Well, this is, uhh,
utterly irregular.

1478
01:12:58,562 --> 01:12:59,960
Who's to know?

1479
01:12:59,962 --> 01:13:02,463
Then you'll have your
contract and make your quota.

1480
01:13:03,629 --> 01:13:04,796
What about the money?

1481
01:13:06,029 --> 01:13:08,193
I've got 2,000 pounds
in an escrow account

1482
01:13:08,195 --> 01:13:09,062
you could have.

1483
01:13:17,995 --> 01:13:19,996
Do you have any paper?

1484
01:13:21,562 --> 01:13:22,626
Yes!

1485
01:13:22,628 --> 01:13:24,029
Yes I do, I...

1486
01:13:33,028 --> 01:13:34,562
I don't need it.

1487
01:13:41,761 --> 01:13:43,463
We should take a
look at that ear.

1488
01:13:44,628 --> 01:13:46,595
I've probably got
some Savlon somewhere.

1489
01:13:55,127 --> 01:13:56,693
(GRUNTING)

1490
01:13:56,695 --> 01:14:00,563
(DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1491
01:14:11,695 --> 01:14:14,159
Wait, one thing I
don't understand,

1492
01:14:14,161 --> 01:14:15,830
how did you know where we were?

1493
01:14:17,028 --> 01:14:19,760
Well, uh, there was a
background check on you.

1494
01:14:19,762 --> 01:14:20,596
On?

1495
01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,126
There isn't a...

1496
01:14:23,128 --> 01:14:26,125
No, no, it wasn't you,
it was for your boss.

1497
01:14:26,127 --> 01:14:28,829
Apparently he was
very unpopular.

1498
01:14:30,194 --> 01:14:32,659
So he didn't
die because of me?

1499
01:14:32,661 --> 01:14:33,760
Oh, yes he did.

1500
01:14:33,762 --> 01:14:36,162
But someone would have got
to him sooner or later.

1501
01:14:37,562 --> 01:14:38,995
What are you going to do now?

1502
01:14:40,528 --> 01:14:42,596
I have an idea for a new book.

1503
01:14:43,694 --> 01:14:45,061
The main character at least.

1504
01:14:46,794 --> 01:14:48,462
You're a good man, William.

1505
01:14:49,629 --> 01:14:50,962
I'm glad I didn't kill you.

1506
01:14:52,060 --> 01:14:53,560
Thanks, Leslie.

1507
01:14:53,562 --> 01:14:55,193
I'm glad I didn't die.

1508
01:14:55,195 --> 01:14:58,196
(LIGHT PIANO MUSIC)

1509
01:15:04,561 --> 01:15:05,628
Hello, what's this?

1510
01:15:08,594 --> 01:15:10,058
I was worried.

1511
01:15:10,060 --> 01:15:11,526
What happened?

1512
01:15:11,528 --> 01:15:13,529
Oh, you should
see the other guy!

1513
01:15:15,261 --> 01:15:16,560
So?

1514
01:15:16,562 --> 01:15:17,992
So?

1515
01:15:17,994 --> 01:15:19,195
The Southern Counties?

1516
01:15:23,662 --> 01:15:24,860
Ah, first place!

1517
01:15:24,862 --> 01:15:25,926
You got first place?

1518
01:15:25,928 --> 01:15:26,925
Yep.

1519
01:15:26,927 --> 01:15:28,692
And Morag Bleasdale?

1520
01:15:28,694 --> 01:15:29,629
Second.

1521
01:15:30,562 --> 01:15:31,763
LESLIE: That's fantastic.

1522
01:15:33,662 --> 01:15:35,560
It's just the
Southern Counties.

1523
01:15:35,562 --> 01:15:38,563
Ahhh, so now it's just
the Southern Counties!

1524
01:15:39,695 --> 01:15:41,195
Oh, I am so proud of you.

1525
01:15:45,695 --> 01:15:48,596
(DOORBELL RINGING)

1526
01:15:58,695 --> 01:16:00,696
HARVEY: Hello
Penny, is Leslie home?

1527
01:16:03,261 --> 01:16:05,928
(CLOCK TICKING)

1528
01:16:19,895 --> 01:16:23,760
Penny, could you give me
and Harvey a minute, please?

1529
01:16:23,762 --> 01:16:24,693
You sure?

1530
01:16:24,695 --> 01:16:25,929
LESLIE: Yes.

1531
01:16:28,562 --> 01:16:30,593
Midsomer Murders
is on in a minute.

1532
01:16:30,595 --> 01:16:32,830
(LAUGHING)

1533
01:16:37,829 --> 01:16:39,796
So, why are you here, Harvey?

1534
01:16:41,795 --> 01:16:42,629
You know.

1535
01:16:44,060 --> 01:16:44,894
No, I don't.

1536
01:16:45,861 --> 01:16:46,992
You know.

1537
01:16:46,994 --> 01:16:48,662
And I know you know.

1538
01:16:49,861 --> 01:16:50,763
I don't know.

1539
01:16:52,794 --> 01:16:55,225
Mr. Morrison is still alive.

1540
01:16:55,227 --> 01:16:56,061
Really?

1541
01:16:57,194 --> 01:16:59,159
And no one's heard from
Ivan the terrible hitman.

1542
01:16:59,161 --> 01:17:03,592
Well, you can't trust
these foreign kids, can you?

1543
01:17:03,594 --> 01:17:05,660
You should have asked
me to do the job.

1544
01:17:05,662 --> 01:17:07,593
What do you take me for?

1545
01:17:07,595 --> 01:17:10,925
I'm not one of your senior
fucking Alzheimer friends.

1546
01:17:10,927 --> 01:17:13,659
I'm actually a
little bit impressed.

1547
01:17:13,661 --> 01:17:15,229
I didn't think
you were up to it.

1548
01:17:16,228 --> 01:17:17,659
I told you.

1549
01:17:17,661 --> 01:17:19,527
Yeah, you did.

1550
01:17:19,529 --> 01:17:21,663
And I told you to take
the fucking clock.

1551
01:17:25,694 --> 01:17:27,094
You don't have to do this.

1552
01:17:28,261 --> 01:17:30,125
Have a bit of
fucking pride, eh?

1553
01:17:30,127 --> 01:17:31,663
No, I mean, um,

1554
01:17:35,227 --> 01:17:36,061
I mean this.

1555
01:17:37,662 --> 01:17:38,926
What is it?

1556
01:17:38,928 --> 01:17:40,592
It's a contract.

1557
01:17:40,594 --> 01:17:41,559
HARVEY: What?

1558
01:17:41,561 --> 01:17:42,159
LESLIE: On Ivan.

1559
01:17:42,161 --> 01:17:43,862
You must be fucking...

1560
01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:50,992
All right.

1561
01:17:50,994 --> 01:17:52,692
Where's the money?

1562
01:17:52,694 --> 01:17:54,959
I think you'll find two
grand of Mr. Morrison's

1563
01:17:54,961 --> 01:17:56,627
in the escrow account.

1564
01:17:56,629 --> 01:17:57,826
But that was...

1565
01:17:57,828 --> 01:17:59,628
No, he's still alive
so it's his money.

1566
01:18:00,794 --> 01:18:02,526
No, you can't take
on new contracts!

1567
01:18:02,528 --> 01:18:03,660
You're retired.

1568
01:18:03,662 --> 01:18:05,093
I hadn't made my quota!

1569
01:18:05,095 --> 01:18:06,059
Now I have.

1570
01:18:06,061 --> 01:18:07,959
You're taking the piss.

1571
01:18:07,961 --> 01:18:11,992
Why can't you just retire
like a normal fucking person?

1572
01:18:11,994 --> 01:18:13,195
I am an assassin.

1573
01:18:14,629 --> 01:18:17,862
That's what I do,
and that's who I am.

1574
01:18:19,228 --> 01:18:20,929
You're a fucking dead man.

1575
01:18:22,228 --> 01:18:24,659
(GUN CLICKING)

1576
01:18:24,661 --> 01:18:26,626
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1577
01:18:26,628 --> 01:18:27,995
Ah, like that is it?

1578
01:18:29,828 --> 01:18:31,226
(LAUGHING)

1579
01:18:31,228 --> 01:18:32,462
Under the table?

1580
01:18:33,927 --> 01:18:35,559
Right now?

1581
01:18:35,561 --> 01:18:37,228
Right now under the table?

1582
01:18:38,761 --> 01:18:39,596
Take a look.

1583
01:18:51,594 --> 01:18:52,628
Fuck.

1584
01:18:53,595 --> 01:18:56,496
Now, wait a sec, all right?

1585
01:19:07,995 --> 01:19:08,825
Leslie!

1586
01:19:08,827 --> 01:19:10,093
Please, Penny.

1587
01:19:10,095 --> 01:19:11,125
Hasn't Midsomer
Murders started yet?

1588
01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:13,627
It was a bit grisly.

1589
01:19:13,629 --> 01:19:15,596
And I wanted to show
Harvey my cushion.

1590
01:19:17,161 --> 01:19:22,162
I won first prize in the
Southern Counties Biannual

1591
01:19:23,594 --> 01:19:26,792
Needlecraft and Embroidery
competition, cushion class.

1592
01:19:26,794 --> 01:19:27,791
Oh yeah.

1593
01:19:27,793 --> 01:19:30,058
What are they supposed to be?

1594
01:19:30,060 --> 01:19:33,992
They're turtle
doves, a mating pair.

1595
01:19:33,994 --> 01:19:38,192
Interesting thing about turtle
doves is they mate for life.

1596
01:19:38,194 --> 01:19:41,759
They stay together, grow old
together and when one dies,

1597
01:19:41,761 --> 01:19:45,062
the other one tends
to die soon after.

1598
01:19:46,095 --> 01:19:48,528
They absolutely need each other.

1599
01:19:49,629 --> 01:19:50,563
Sweet really.

1600
01:19:52,827 --> 01:19:53,661
Huh.

1601
01:19:58,094 --> 01:20:01,560
Is that for Les?

1602
01:20:01,562 --> 01:20:02,958
Look at that!

1603
01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:03,895
Oh!

1604
01:20:04,927 --> 01:20:07,992
Isn't that something!

1605
01:20:07,994 --> 01:20:09,061
Les?

1606
01:20:09,894 --> 01:20:12,025
Isn't that something?

1607
01:20:12,027 --> 01:20:14,758
I think he's a bit
scared of retirement.

1608
01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:17,593
But I said to him,
it's exciting.

1609
01:20:17,595 --> 01:20:19,726
Time to enjoy himself,
didn't I, Les?

1610
01:20:19,728 --> 01:20:22,058
The start of the
rest of our lives.

1611
01:20:22,060 --> 01:20:23,495
Isn't that right, Les?

1612
01:20:24,861 --> 01:20:27,758
Is that right, Leslie?

1613
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:31,661
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1614
01:20:34,262 --> 01:20:36,058
Did I tell you?

1615
01:20:36,060 --> 01:20:37,691
We're going on a cruise!

1616
01:20:37,693 --> 01:20:38,826
'Round the whole world!

1617
01:20:38,828 --> 01:20:40,862
Cape Town, Sydney,

1618
01:20:41,794 --> 01:20:43,560
Nuku'Alofa.

1619
01:20:43,562 --> 01:20:44,196
Hmmm?

1620
01:20:45,060 --> 01:20:45,926
It's in Tonga.

1621
01:20:45,928 --> 01:20:47,626
Ah.

1622
01:20:47,628 --> 01:20:50,825
It's a trip of a lifetime,
that's what they say.

1623
01:20:50,827 --> 01:20:53,929
Awww, thank you
for this, Harvey.

1624
01:20:55,127 --> 01:20:57,092
It'll look perfect
on the mantelpiece.

1625
01:20:57,094 --> 01:20:59,995
Isn't that kind of Harvey, Les?

1626
01:21:03,295 --> 01:21:07,162
(SUSPENSEFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1627
01:21:13,861 --> 01:21:15,529
Thank you, Harvey.

1628
01:21:24,529 --> 01:21:25,562
Anyway,

1629
01:21:28,593 --> 01:21:30,659
I'd best be off.

1630
01:21:30,661 --> 01:21:32,062
Leave you to your evening.

1631
01:21:33,227 --> 01:21:34,659
You not stopping
for tea, Harvey?

1632
01:21:34,661 --> 01:21:35,892
We've got herbal.

1633
01:21:35,894 --> 01:21:37,595
No, no, you're all right.

1634
01:21:40,694 --> 01:21:42,029
Enjoy your retirement, Leslie.

1635
01:21:44,561 --> 01:21:45,762
We're sorry to lose you.

1636
01:21:48,693 --> 01:21:50,658
Send our love to Sandra.

1637
01:21:50,660 --> 01:21:51,495
Mmm.

1638
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:00,093
(DOOR CLOSING)

1639
01:22:00,095 --> 01:22:02,229
(SIGHING)

1640
01:22:04,027 --> 01:22:05,859
I'm not sorry.

1641
01:22:05,861 --> 01:22:09,627
I know you loved your job,
but it's not all you are.

1642
01:22:10,560 --> 01:22:12,692
At least not to me.

1643
01:22:12,694 --> 01:22:15,259
(LIGHT PIANO MUSIC)

1644
01:22:15,261 --> 01:22:17,161
What would I do without you?

1645
01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:22,093
I'm just pleased I
didn't have to stick him.

1646
01:22:22,095 --> 01:22:24,562
(LAUGHING)

1647
01:22:38,060 --> 01:22:39,895
WILLIAM: So, uh,
did they like it?

1648
01:22:40,927 --> 01:22:42,293
Seemed to.

1649
01:22:42,295 --> 01:22:44,725
They love the
assassin character.

1650
01:22:44,727 --> 01:22:46,527
And they want to
meet you next week.

1651
01:22:47,660 --> 01:22:48,494
That's great.

1652
01:22:49,227 --> 01:22:50,825
You can make that?

1653
01:22:50,827 --> 01:22:53,627
Yes, I think I can make that.

1654
01:22:55,693 --> 01:22:58,694
ELLIE: So this living thing's
really not that bad, is it?

1655
01:23:01,160 --> 01:23:02,158
Well, you never
know when a piano

1656
01:23:02,160 --> 01:23:03,627
is going to fall on your head.

1657
01:23:14,228 --> 01:23:15,692
(CAR HORN HONKING)

1658
01:23:15,694 --> 01:23:16,528
William!

1659
01:23:17,194 --> 01:23:19,561
(GASPING)

1660
01:23:23,593 --> 01:23:24,625
(GRUNTING)

1661
01:23:24,627 --> 01:23:25,461
William!

1662
01:23:29,528 --> 01:23:33,193
Call an ambulance,
call an ambulance!

1663
01:23:33,195 --> 01:23:34,029
William!

1664
01:23:34,994 --> 01:23:36,161
Is, is he...

1665
01:23:38,694 --> 01:23:41,525
What, yes, yes,
he's fine, he's fine.

1666
01:23:41,527 --> 01:23:42,962
You saved him.

1667
01:23:44,261 --> 01:23:44,894
What about you?

1668
01:23:46,561 --> 01:23:48,129
I've definitely felt better.

1669
01:23:49,660 --> 01:23:51,461
Here, lie down with me.

1670
01:23:57,661 --> 01:24:00,628
(GROUP CLAPPING)

1671
01:24:01,261 --> 01:24:02,461
Are they clapping?

1672
01:24:06,527 --> 01:24:08,627
Yeah, they're clapping.

1673
01:24:14,195 --> 01:24:15,029
Perfect.

1674
01:24:20,728 --> 01:24:22,925
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1675
01:24:22,927 --> 01:24:25,658
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1676
01:24:25,660 --> 01:24:27,893
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1677
01:24:27,895 --> 01:24:29,659
♪ Come on through ♪

1678
01:24:29,661 --> 01:24:32,225
♪ Well, I fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1679
01:24:32,227 --> 01:24:34,559
♪ Home to you ♪

1680
01:24:34,561 --> 01:24:37,293
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC)

1681
01:24:37,295 --> 01:24:39,226
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1682
01:24:39,228 --> 01:24:42,259
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1683
01:24:42,261 --> 01:24:44,260
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1684
01:24:44,262 --> 01:24:45,425
♪ Come on through ♪

1685
01:24:45,427 --> 01:24:48,626
♪ Well, I fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1686
01:24:48,628 --> 01:24:53,628
♪ Home to you ♪

1687
01:24:54,828 --> 01:24:56,092
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1688
01:24:56,094 --> 01:24:58,826
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1689
01:24:58,828 --> 01:25:00,926
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1690
01:25:00,928 --> 01:25:02,692
♪ Come on through ♪

1691
01:25:02,694 --> 01:25:05,591
♪ Well, I fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1692
01:25:05,593 --> 01:25:07,894
♪ Home to you ♪

1693
01:25:15,184 --> 01:25:20,184
Subtitles by explosiveskull

1694
01:25:28,694 --> 01:25:30,791
♪ With the taste of
dark between my teeth ♪

1695
01:25:30,793 --> 01:25:34,026
♪ And the crashing of
waves underneath my feet ♪

1696
01:25:34,028 --> 01:25:36,691
♪ Gonna give myself
to the endless gloom ♪

1697
01:25:36,693 --> 01:25:40,026
♪ Fly through the night
to get home to you ♪

1698
01:25:40,028 --> 01:25:45,029
♪ Home to you ♪

1699
01:25:46,228 --> 01:25:47,692
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1700
01:25:47,694 --> 01:25:50,159
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1701
01:25:50,161 --> 01:25:52,558
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1702
01:25:52,560 --> 01:25:53,726
♪ Come on through ♪

1703
01:25:53,728 --> 01:25:56,858
♪ Well, I fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1704
01:25:56,860 --> 01:26:00,725
♪ Home to you ♪

1705
01:26:00,727 --> 01:26:02,659
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1706
01:26:02,661 --> 01:26:05,558
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1707
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:07,659
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1708
01:26:07,661 --> 01:26:09,059
♪ Come on through ♪

1709
01:26:09,061 --> 01:26:12,025
♪ Well, I'd fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1710
01:26:12,027 --> 01:26:17,028
♪ Home to you ♪

1711
01:26:18,593 --> 01:26:21,626
♪ I fly through the night ♪

1712
01:26:21,628 --> 01:26:24,959
♪ To get home to you ♪

1713
01:26:24,961 --> 01:26:29,962
♪ The angels sing
and come on through ♪

1714
01:26:30,861 --> 01:26:32,893
♪ I fly through the night ♪

1715
01:26:32,895 --> 01:26:36,025
♪ To get home to you ♪

1716
01:26:36,027 --> 01:26:39,125
♪ To get home to you ♪

1717
01:26:39,127 --> 01:26:41,291
♪ So come on through ♪

1718
01:26:41,293 --> 01:26:42,292
♪ To be back by your side ♪

1719
01:26:42,294 --> 01:26:47,461
♪ I'd do anything to
be back by your side ♪

1720
01:26:51,594 --> 01:26:53,925
♪ Curtain's call,
but I just can't go ♪

1721
01:26:53,927 --> 01:26:55,558
♪ 'Cause you came and you saw ♪

1722
01:26:55,560 --> 01:26:58,692
♪ Pinned my soul to
the gray oh gray ♪

1723
01:26:58,694 --> 01:27:00,125
♪ And it won't be long ♪

1724
01:27:00,127 --> 01:27:03,291
♪ So I fly and fly
to get back home ♪

1725
01:27:03,293 --> 01:27:06,658
♪ To get home to you ♪

1726
01:27:06,660 --> 01:27:09,525
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1727
01:27:09,527 --> 01:27:12,126
♪ And I'd do anything
just hold your hand ♪

1728
01:27:12,128 --> 01:27:14,258
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1729
01:27:14,260 --> 01:27:15,426
♪ Come on through ♪

1730
01:27:15,428 --> 01:27:18,726
♪ Well, I'd fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1731
01:27:18,728 --> 01:27:21,893
♪ Home to you ♪

1732
01:27:21,895 --> 01:27:24,626
♪ Curtain's call,
but I just can't go ♪

1733
01:27:24,628 --> 01:27:25,992
♪ 'Cause you came and you saw ♪

1734
01:27:25,994 --> 01:27:28,859
♪ Pinned my soul to
the gray, oh gray ♪

1735
01:27:28,861 --> 01:27:30,625
♪ Of the world we know ♪

1736
01:27:30,627 --> 01:27:33,591
♪ So I fly and I fly
to get back home ♪

1737
01:27:33,593 --> 01:27:36,993
♪ To get home to you ♪

1738
01:27:36,995 --> 01:27:39,526
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1739
01:27:39,528 --> 01:27:42,525
♪ And I'd do anything
just hold your hand ♪

1740
01:27:42,527 --> 01:27:44,558
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1741
01:27:44,560 --> 01:27:46,092
♪ Come on through ♪

1742
01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:48,925
♪ And I fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1743
01:27:48,927 --> 01:27:51,628
♪ Home to you ♪

1744
01:28:07,827 --> 01:28:09,826
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1745
01:28:09,828 --> 01:28:12,859
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1746
01:28:12,861 --> 01:28:14,791
♪ When the angels sing a song ♪

1747
01:28:14,793 --> 01:28:16,525
♪ Come on through ♪

1748
01:28:16,527 --> 01:28:19,192
♪ And I fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1749
01:28:19,194 --> 01:28:22,559
♪ Home to you ♪

1750
01:28:22,561 --> 01:28:24,825
♪ Curtain's call,
but I just can't go ♪

1751
01:28:24,827 --> 01:28:26,626
♪ 'Cause you came and you saw ♪

1752
01:28:26,628 --> 01:28:29,625
♪ Pinned my soul to
the gray, oh gray ♪

1753
01:28:29,627 --> 01:28:31,025
♪ Of the world we know ♪

1754
01:28:31,027 --> 01:28:34,525
♪ So I fly and I fly
to get back home ♪

1755
01:28:34,527 --> 01:28:37,759
♪ To get home to you ♪

1756
01:28:37,761 --> 01:28:40,025
♪ I fly through the night ♪

1757
01:28:40,027 --> 01:28:43,124
♪ To get home to you ♪

1758
01:28:43,126 --> 01:28:46,026
♪ The angels sing ♪

1759
01:28:46,028 --> 01:28:49,658
♪ And come on through ♪

1760
01:28:49,660 --> 01:28:51,892
♪ I fly through the night ♪

1761
01:28:51,894 --> 01:28:55,026
♪ To get home to you ♪

1762
01:28:55,028 --> 01:28:58,525
♪ To get home to you ♪

1763
01:28:58,527 --> 01:28:59,791
♪ So come on through ♪

1764
01:28:59,793 --> 01:29:01,659
♪ I'd do anything to
be back by your side ♪

1765
01:29:01,661 --> 01:29:04,526
♪ I'd do anything to
be back by your side ♪

1766
01:29:04,528 --> 01:29:07,224
♪ The angels sing ♪

1767
01:29:07,226 --> 01:29:10,659
♪ And come on through ♪

1768
01:29:10,661 --> 01:29:13,558
♪ The angels sing ♪

1769
01:29:13,560 --> 01:29:16,591
♪ And come on through ♪

1770
01:29:16,593 --> 01:29:19,092
♪ I fly through the night ♪

1771
01:29:19,094 --> 01:29:22,659
♪ To get home to you ♪

1772
01:29:22,661 --> 01:29:25,692
♪ To get home to you ♪

1773
01:29:25,694 --> 01:29:28,691
♪ To get home to you ♪

1774
01:29:28,693 --> 01:29:33,494
♪ So come on through ♪

1775
01:29:35,528 --> 01:29:37,525
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1776
01:29:37,527 --> 01:29:40,659
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1777
01:29:40,661 --> 01:29:42,958
♪ When the angels sing a song ♪

1778
01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:44,125
♪ Come on through ♪

1779
01:29:44,127 --> 01:29:47,192
♪ And I'd fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1780
01:29:47,194 --> 01:29:50,158
♪ Home to you ♪

1781
01:29:50,160 --> 01:29:52,925
♪ Darkness falls
across the land ♪

1782
01:29:52,927 --> 01:29:55,726
♪ And I'd do anything
just to hold your hand ♪

1783
01:29:55,728 --> 01:29:57,759
♪ Where the angels sing a song ♪

1784
01:29:57,761 --> 01:29:59,525
♪ Come on through ♪

1785
01:29:59,527 --> 01:30:02,192
♪ And I'd fly through the
night to get home to you ♪

1786
01:30:02,194 --> 01:30:04,695
♪ Home to you ♪