Maeda's suffering

Hikikomori no Uta / The Shut-in's Song
Lyrics/Composition/Singing: Maeda Jun
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S3qRAJ8-KM

There are a couple of lines that sound unclear and may be off, and are indicated with a (?).

部屋に閉じこもって下手なギター弾いてたよ
Secluded in my room, awkwardly playing my guitar,
ステージに立つ姿を思い浮かべ笑ってんだ
I imagine myself on the stage and smile.
指が震えてるのは緊張してる　そのせいだろう
My fingers are shaking because I'm nervous. That must be why.

前に外に出たのはいつだったけか？もう忘れた
When was the last time I went outside? I can't remember.
積み上げた通販の箱が雪崩を起こしてた
The pile of old cardboard boxes toppled like an avalanche.

だけどつまみ回せば何もかもを吹き飛ばせる気がした
But when I turn the knob, I feel like nothing can take me down.

そん時だけは無敵で
I was invincible back then.
何もしらないガキで
I was just a kid who knew nothing,
世界をあっと言わせる気がしてんだ
And thought I could take the world by storm.
でも現実は過酷で
But reality is harsh.
出来ないことわかってて
I know what I can't do,
それでもギターを夢中でかき鳴らした
And yet I'm still immersed in strumming my guitar.

それはとても歪んで響いて
My sound is jarring and rough.
雑音と変わらないけど
You could mistake it for static,
ちゃんと歌詞も付けてあげるよ
But I'll still give it lyrics.
無能な僕が最初に紡いだ
Those words that I incompetently first spun.

ゲームは最近してないよ　攻略本見るのが面倒で
I haven't been playing games lately. Reading walkthroughs is a pain.
アニメは見てるだけでいいな　それだけが気に入ってるよ
I'm fine just watching anime. That's all I enjoy.

夢はもう見飽きたけど　終わりにしない　それだけを決めてる
I'm sick of my dreams already. But I won't let them end. That, at least, I've decided.

どんな夢でも最低
Having dreams is worthless.
食っていけることが大事で (?)
All that matters is making a living.
そこにジレンマを抱えて暮らしてんだ
That's the dilemma I've been living with.
でも現実は過酷で
But reality is harsh.
無差別に才能与え
We don't get to choose our talents.
誰かが代わりに褒めちぎられてるんだ
Someone else is being applauded instead of me.

こんな暮らしやめて
I should stop living like this.
結婚なんてしてみて
Maybe I'll try getting married.
薬の量ばっか増えてく
My medications are all that's increasing.
中に何入ってんだろ
What's even in them?

子供んときは無敵で
I was invincible as a kid.
何も知らない笑みで
I just smiled in ignorance,
誰をもあっと言わせる気がしてた
And thought I could take the world by storm.
でも現実は孤独で
But in reality, I'm alone.
何も出来ません僕で
I can't do anything.
神も宗教も信じず生きてますが
And I live, without believing in God or religion.

最近あなたはどうで
How have you been lately?
誰かと笑ったりもして
Are you smiling with someone?
それなりに上手くやっているでしょうか
I trust that you're doing well.
今の僕はそれなりで
Right now,
生きてくことは苦痛で
I find it hard to keep living.
神と宗教にすがりたくなるような
And I almost want to turn to God or religion.

リアルの中に生きているよ
I'm living in the real world.
それは歪みきったリアルで
This real, warped world.
歪んでる音は飽和してるんで (?)
Saturated with warped sounds.
だからこそこの音が出るんで
That's why I can make this sound now.
時にはすごく美しくて
Sometimes, it's beautiful.
瞬間だけど美しくて
Just for a moment, it's beautiful.
その一瞬を知ってほしくて
I want you to know that moment.
どこにいたって知ってほしくて
Wherever you go, I want you to know.

鳴らす
Shout!