Fun Size (2012)

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INDOXXI
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(INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING)

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WREN: Everyone loves Halloween,

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especially in Cleveland.

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When you're known as
"The Mistake By The Lake,"

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the chance to pretend you're somebody
else for a night sounds pretty good.

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My dad grew up here, too.

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His theory was, "No matter
what happens in high school,

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"college is where you figure
out who you really are."

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Not just some pretend-for-a-night
version of yourself, but the real deal.

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He went to NYU after he graduated,
which is where I'm planning on going,

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provided I can survive
the insanity that is my family.

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I know.
Everyone thinks their family's crazy.

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- But trust me...
- (SNIFFS)

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- ...you don't have...
- Albert!

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...him.

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(SIGHS)

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Seriously?

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Albert!

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Where are my boobs?

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Mom, Albert struck again,
that is twice this week.

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Oh, hon, he wants to be close to you.

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Well, that makes one of us.

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Have you signed my application yet?

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Uh, application for what?

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Afghan citizenship. Hello? College loans.

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Oh, right. No.

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Oh, again with that jacket.

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Why couldn't you have gotten attached

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to something of your dad's
from this decade?

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Mom. Application. Focus.

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We need to talk about this, Wren.

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I understand that you want to go to NYU,

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but Ohio State
is just much less expensive.

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I know it's a lot of money
and I promise not to major in English

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so I can help pay it off.

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When my dad died,
my mom kind of lost it.

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She started dyeing her hair blonde,

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shopping at Forever 21,

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and going out with
a person named Keevin.

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Oh, Joy.

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M'lady.

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M'dawg. Yeah.

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(KEEVIN CHUCKLES)

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Apparently, dating a 26-year-old

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is one of the seven stages of grief.

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Come on, Albert! Let's go!

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So, which do you think,
sexy kitty or sexy mouse?

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Can't you be a kitty without being sexy?

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Um, no.

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Hello? Being sexy is what's gonna get us

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into Aaron Riley's party tonight.

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We're never getting into
Aaron Riley's party.

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We're not that cool.

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Huh. It's really sad
that you're a pessimist.

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Realist.

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I read a statistic that
a good Halloween costume

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can increase your chance
of popularity by 32 %. So,

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have you thought about
what you're going as yet?

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I was thinking
maybe Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

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Huh?

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We learned about her in Government.

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Feminist icon? Supreme Court justice?

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Aaron Riley is a musician.

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He is not a law-abiding citizen.

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He's not gonna know who that is.

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What if I did a rap explaining who I am?

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Stop. You're getting
your nerd juice all over me.

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- Wren. Hey!
- Speaking of nerds. Oh, God.

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- Hey, Roosevelt.
- Morning, ladies.

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Happy Halloween. Right?

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Albert, what's shaking, buddy?

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Still not talking, huh?

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Nope. Going on almost a year.

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Thanks. Hey, this monster's
got some pretty big eyeballs.

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That looks like your sweater.

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My boobs. I'll take that.

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So, what are you going as
for Halloween?

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E.O. Wilson.

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The father of sociobiology?

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Exactly.

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You two are going to costume jail for life.

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Congratulations. You found someone

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with a more obscure costume
than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

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Wait. You think it's obscure?

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Hey.

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Maybe you could do
an explaining rap, too.

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(CLEARS THROAT)

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I'm E.O. Wilson and I'm a scientist

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I study ants and stuff if you get the gist

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I'm about as cool as a guy can get

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Think Jason Bourne with a butterfly net

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- (LAUGHS) Yeah!
- Right?

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- That was good.
- It's easy.

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You could even do a stick bug dance
to really bring it home.

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- Or you couldn't do that.
- Like one of these.

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Oh, my God. What are you doing?

97
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Don't... Don't do that.

98
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- What? Don't do what?
- That.

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Maybe you'll like
praying mantis better. Ready?

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Whoo!

101
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- Can you please stop it?
- You don't like that?

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Wren, I said please.

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The turtle is one
of my personal favorites.

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Whoo!

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- Wren, please cut it out.
- (ROOSEVELT CHUCKLES)

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I'm gonna throw up.

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WREN: Maybe this will
make you feel better.

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I don't even know
what kind of bug this is.

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But what do you think about
these moves, April?

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How am I looking now?

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(HORN HONKS)

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WREN: Aaron Riley. God. Stud.

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Legend.

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Didn't know you could
move like that, Desantis.

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Uh...

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You coming to my party tonight?

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'Cause you should.

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I should?

119
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You should.

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I should.

121
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Maybe I'll play a song for you.

122
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Wren. We're going
to Aaron Riley's party.

123
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This is fully...

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Albert!

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He should not be off-leash.

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WREN: Halloween just went from
another holiday I was trying to avoid

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to possibly the greatest night of my life.

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Okay, so now I really need
to figure out my costume,

129
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because Ruth Bader Ginsburg
won't work.

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What about sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

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No, that's weird.

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April's got dibs on wildlife.

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(GROWLS SOFTLY)

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And Aaron Riley always goes
as the star of his favorite movie.

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Why not? They keep making sequels.

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(GASPS)

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No. Not a chance.

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Hey. Look, you love Spider-Man.

139
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He looks like a Mexican wrestler.

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Whatever. For once,
you're not my problem tonight.

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WREN: Thanks to some
inspiration from Pink Floyd,

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I got it. Dorothy, from The Wizard of Oz.

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Not only is she an iconic female hero,

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but she also provides a costume

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that I happen to have in my closet.

146
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Yellow brick road, here we come.

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Oh, hey, Wren. What do you think?

148
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I think people might misinterpret
what you mean by "trick or treat."

149
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That's what you're taking Albert out in?

150
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Oh, no, I forgot to tell you.

151
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You're gonna watch Albert tonight.

152
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I'm going to a party with Keevin.

153
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A party? With Keevin?

154
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Why are you saying his name like that?

155
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It's not even a name, Mom.
You're either Kevin or you're Steven.

156
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Keevin does not exist.

157
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Keevin does exist,
and he is kind and employed.

158
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No, Mom, I did not agree to this. Please?

159
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Don't do this to me.

160
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Honey, if you watch Albert tonight,

161
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I'll sign the application
for NYU tomorrow.

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And then this time next year,
you're gonna be

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trick-or-treating the West Village!

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I love you, thank you, you're welcome.

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(DOOR CLOSES)

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Happy Halloween, Spidey.
Aren't you adorable?

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You have a lot to choose from.
Pick your favorite.

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(YELLS)

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(ALL SCREAMING)

170
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(GRUNTING)

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Honey! Honey,
I think we need more candy.

172
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APRIL: This sucks.

173
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I can't believe we're missing the party.

174
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How about this?
When's Albert's bedtime?

175
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9:00.

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But if he's riding a sugar high,
sometime next week.

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(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

178
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Oh, my God, it's Aaron.
How did he get my number?

179
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A smiley face emoticon?

180
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We have to go.

181
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If we don't,
he'll move on to someone else.

182
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My mom's been married three times.

183
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Trust me, that is how love works.

184
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MAN: Whose child is this?

185
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Get over here.

186
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Hi.

187
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Does he belong to you?

188
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He cleaned me out.
The sign says, "Take one."

189
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Plus, I don't think
he needs the extra pounds.

190
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WREN: Sorry, sir.

191
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Albert, do you have any idea
what I sacrificed to be out here tonight?

192
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,062
Do we need to send you to rehab?

193
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Okay, we're going to go
through the haunted house,

194
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and then you're going to bed. Come on.

195
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(OWL HOOTING)

196
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,236
(APRIL GRUMBLES)

197
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,156
Damn! I've never seen you like that.

198
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I guess the pressure of being
a teen mom is getting to me.

199
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- Roosevelt!
- Oh, my...

200
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WREN: Hey, Peng.

201
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,457
Wren, hey.

202
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What the hell are you?

203
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I'm Aaron Burr, fool.
The dude who shot Alexander Hamilton.

204
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Check it. Period gat.

205
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,425
Don't worry, it's just an antique.

206
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I'm going to step outside.

207
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,305
So, Wren,

208
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,101
listen, I think it's really cool that you don't

209
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,561
feel the need
to dress sexy on Halloween,

210
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like some other girls.

211
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Thank you, Roosevelt.

212
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Well, I'd better catch up with my brother.

213
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So, you guys have a good night. Bye.

214
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(CHILDREN SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)

215
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(SIGHS)

216
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,625
WREN: Albert?

217
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:38,632
Albert?

218
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,304
Albert, I want to thank you.

219
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If it wasn't for you always doing stuff
like petting a dead cat,

220
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,393
I might never have found
the motivation to leave home.

221
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You're not my mommy.

222
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Bitch.

223
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Albert?

224
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Albert!

225
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,373
Albert.

226
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,042
Albert!

227
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,337
Albert! (SCREAMS)

228
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,718
(SCREAMS)

229
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:23,969
(EXCLAIMING IN SURPRISE)

230
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(ALL SCREAMING)

231
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,725
Albert!

232
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,102
- (GROANS)
- Oh!

233
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:35,939
Albert.

234
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,484
(GROWLS)

235
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:46,492
Albert!

236
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,369
Albert.

237
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,538
Oh, thank God.

238
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:55,542
Hey! I'm not doing anything wrong.

239
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This is 100 % legal.

240
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Yes, but very, very creepy.

241
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,842
Albert!

242
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My mom is going to kill me.

243
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,732
Keevin Kilpatrick.

244
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,025
My oldest chum.

245
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,944
Nathaniel Brueder.

246
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,237
You've heard all about the lovely Joy.

247
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,821
- Hi.
- Indeed I have.

248
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,032
But you were wrong
about one thing, Keevin.

249
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,201
She's twice as beautiful as Katie Couric.

250
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:33,288
Oh, thank you.
She could be my mother, but

251
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,041
I love her and I think she's so brave.

252
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,711
Please, welcome, welcome.
Casa de Brueder.

253
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,297
I brought some wine.
Do you have a wine table,

254
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,799
or should I give this
to one of the servers?

255
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,676
You are a peach. My parents love wine.

256
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,053
You can chuck it in their
wine cellar downstairs.

257
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,805
Why are they here?

258
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,891
Because, duh, they live here.

259
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,226
Oh.

260
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,811
Great people. You'll love them.

261
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,730
Come on. Everyone's down
in the Nate Cave. Race you!

262
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,315
(KEEVIN EXCLAIMS GLEEFULLY)

263
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,692
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

264
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,695
Dude, I worked, like, 13 hours this week.

265
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:08,031
I don't know about you,
but I'm ready to cut loose!

266
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,033
(CHEERING)

267
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,164
Oh.

268
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:18,959
(EXHALES)

269
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,670
Can you walk any faster?

270
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,673
APRIL: No, I can't. We need a car.

271
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,175
I should call the police again.
Or the hospital.

272
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,677
Or maybe the pound.

273
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,305
This is bad, April.
This is really, really bad.

274
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,725
Oh, come on. What's the worst
that could happen to him?

275
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,436
Okay. How about this?

276
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,021
We split up.

277
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,273
Cover more houses.

278
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:45,027
Let me guess.
So you can go to the party.

279
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,196
- It's at a house.
- Come on!

280
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,909
(CHUCKLING)
Well played, Galaxy Scout.

281
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,538
Huh.

282
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,290
Hey, there, little man.

283
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,960
Whoa, that arm looks real bad.

284
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,880
Who was it? Green Goblin
or that lunatic, Dr. Octopus?

285
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,050
Venom? You must
have been freaking out.

286
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,470
What's happening? Oh, yeah, of course.

287
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,221
You need to feed.

288
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,474
It's very full already, but still...

289
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,559
Do you chew, bro?

290
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,645
That's disgusting to say.

291
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,313
Expecting?

292
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:22,856
Utility knife.

293
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,984
I don't know why we have so
many knives and safety pins.

294
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,028
You backed up in any way or...

295
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,365
Mmm. Here we go.

296
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,034
Just mainline it, right?

297
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,410
I mean, don't really mainline it

298
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,580
because that would be intense. Hey.

299
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,084
You're that little kid
from the arcade, right?

300
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,295
Man, you are
an absolute beast at Mario Kart.

301
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,256
Wow, a living legend in my presence.
I am Fuzzy,

302
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:51,218
and you are Spidey. Of course.

303
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,761
Well, nice to meet you, Spidey.

304
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,930
Slushee's on the house.

305
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,057
Cool. Anyways...

306
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,476
Nice to meet you and everything

307
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,269
and stay in touch, man. Just don't...

308
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,438
If you see me in the arcade,

309
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,817
say, "What's up?"
and I'll spot you some quarters,

310
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,819
'cause you got mad skills.

311
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:09,986
That went weird.

312
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,490
Oh, what's up, fellows?
Making an omelet?

313
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,575
Yeah, with a side of T. P.

314
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,828
- Who you hitting?
- Whoever has got it coming.

315
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,413
Tonight's all about revenge.

316
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:22,332
First on our list is Stacy Lautner's house.

317
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,127
She said she'd be
my lab partner this year,

318
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,963
but first day of class,
she was sitting with David G.

319
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,299
Man, I feel your pain, brother.

320
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,718
Stay strong.

321
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,344
All right, man. Wish us luck.

322
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:35,971
Hey, we're sensitive guys, right?

323
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,431
Vengeance.

324
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,766
Yeah. Vengeance.

325
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,603
(SIGHS)

326
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,109
Vengeance.

327
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,531
Ow. Okay. All right.

328
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,130
What's up, Spidey?
You just chilling out here by yourself?

329
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,215
Okay.

330
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:16,136
Well, no man should ride alone tonight.

331
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:18,972
You don't have any friends or anything?

332
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,475
Look who's talking.

333
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:23,560
I tell you what.

334
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,646
I need a man for a mission.

335
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,817
One man for one mission
to avenge one broken heart.

336
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:34,154
Will it be dangerous?
Yes. Very much so.

337
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,782
In fact, I'm quite scared about it.

338
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,534
Will we make it back alive?
I don't know, to be honest.

339
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,702
I do not know.

340
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,370
But I can promise you this.

341
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,540
He who follows me
unto the breach, my dear friends,

342
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,460
will be rewarded
with unlimited free Funyuns

343
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,670
for the rest of his life.

344
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,006
So, look.

345
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,216
(SIGHS)

346
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,676
I just feel like
we could help each other out tonight.

347
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,722
So what do you say, Spidey? Are you in?

348
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:03,934
(SLURPING)

349
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,560
Take your time.

350
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:14,694
Yep. Bam. Awesome.

351
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:15,946
Great news.

352
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,031
All right, so...

353
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,576
Just get in my car
and we'll roll, man, like homeys.

354
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:25,205
Not that I'm luring a kid into my car.

355
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,708
I'm not luring a kid into my car.

356
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:32,587
Let's check in here.
Albert's nursing a major Slushee habit.

357
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,465
Okay, seriously, what is wrong with you?

358
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:38,134
Okay, I wasn't going to bring this up,
(EXHALES)

359
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,970
but it has reached crisis stage.

360
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:42,722
I put Nair on my butt this morning.

361
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,141
Oh, my God, it is chafing
something fierce.

362
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:48,311
FUZZY: Here we go, Spidey.
The adventure begins.

363
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,021
APRIL: It was an accident.

364
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,149
- You Naired your butt?
- Yeah, and it burns.

365
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,734
Why in God's name would you do that?

366
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,987
It's like fire shooting out of my ass.

367
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,031
Oh, nerd alert. Other way.

368
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,116
Shh.

369
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,494
Please do not forget that in our cross-ex.

370
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,621
Just chill, bro. It's Spring Lake.

371
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,290
Follow me.

372
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,709
Roosevelt!

373
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,336
Peng! Hey, guys, what's going on?

374
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:16,798
We were just actually
going over our strategy

375
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:17,924
for tomorrow's match.

376
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,677
- Fencing?
- PENG: Debate, actually.

377
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,679
First co-captains in school history.

378
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,223
- That's really cool.
- Um, Wren?

379
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:30,437
So, how do you get to the big match?
Is there a team bus?

380
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,023
No, I drive my car.

381
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,192
Well, it's not my car,
but I can get permission.

382
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,529
So could you get permission tonight?

383
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,616
Tonight? You want me to drive the car...

384
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:46,119
You want me to drive, tonight, with it?
You in it?

385
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,247
What he was trying
to say is we would love to drive around

386
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,707
with you girls at night with no parents.

387
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,167
Great.

388
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:55,086
So, yeah. Let's, uh...
Let's hit the road. Let's go.

389
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,380
Uh, the thing is...

390
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,800
I haven't fully completed
my trust window yet.

391
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,303
Your trust window?

392
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,473
It's like a second learner's permit,
but between me and my moms.

393
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:09,476
You know, for six months,
I can't drive with anyone

394
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,854
outside my immediate academic
and/or social circles.

395
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,731
Oh, bummer. Let's go.

396
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,232
But...

397
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,236
We're friends.

398
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,641
My Crush.

399
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,813
It's all over the floor.

400
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,606
You guys want to go?

401
00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,775
We should go.

402
00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:01,486
Prostitution.

403
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:12,497
Okay, come on in. Shoes off, slippers on.

404
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,290
And please use your inside voices,

405
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:17,002
which, if you need a barometer,
is about where I am now.

406
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:19,754
No problem. So what's our cover?

407
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,464
We're debate team cheerleaders
or something?

408
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,757
No, it's okay.

409
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,135
You're my friends, you lost your brother.

410
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:26,970
I don't ever lie to my moms.

411
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,388
One more thing.

412
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,141
Do either of you carry
any sort of unusual scents

413
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:33,393
or chemical odors?

414
00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:36,146
Really know how to smooth talk a girl.

415
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:38,940
I mean like scented lotions, perfumes.

416
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,401
Fragrances set off Tolstoy's asthma.

417
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,153
- Tolstoy?
- The cat.

418
00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,196
He's a gray tabby. He's 12.

419
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:46,322
PENG: Really?

420
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:49,451
(WHISPERING) Wait.
What about the Nair on your...

421
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,454
- You-know-what.
- Shh!

422
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:55,915
Don't talk about my you-know-what
in front of them.

423
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,376
(CLEARS THROAT) We love cats!

424
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,171
(PLAYING LIVELY
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

425
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,772
Roosevelt.

426
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:19,939
Hey, Moms.

427
00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:23,026
(WHISPERING) I thought
he was just talking like Lil Wayne.

428
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:26,362
I didn't expect you home
until Charlie Rose.

429
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,282
Moms, this is Wren Desantis.

430
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,452
- Hi.
- And April...

431
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,162
- April...
- (CAT HISSING)

432
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,040
Martin-Danzinger-Ross.

433
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,043
The only thing my mom loves
more than men is hyphens.

434
00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:41,669
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

435
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,756
So this is the Wren Desantis.

436
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:46,508
"The"?

437
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,843
I hear you're applying to NYU.

438
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:52,806
Yes, I think I mentioned that
to Roosevelt once.

439
00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:54,140
BARB: Mmm, great school.

440
00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:55,767
That's where Barb earned
her third doctorate.

441
00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:56,851
Yeah.

442
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,978
- In prenatal psychology. Yeah.
- Yeah.

443
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:01,731
I'm still in touch with the dean
through my heirloom bean club.

444
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,399
- Great guy.
- JACKIE: Oh, Earl.

445
00:24:03,526 --> 00:24:04,526
- He's a lovely person.
- Yeah, he's a good guy.

446
00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:05,944
He would write a letter in a heartbeat.

447
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:07,278
BARB: Oh, are you kidding me?

448
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,780
(SNEEZES)

449
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,281
- Yeah.
- And very knowledgeable about beans.

450
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:11,366
Mmm.

451
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,451
I'm not sure where I am on chits...

452
00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:14,869
Ba-b-b-b-b-b!

453
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:16,913
Speak the Greek language.

454
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,542
It's ancient Greek.
It's just this fun thing we...

455
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,710
I would like to use the car.

456
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,178
(WHEEZING AND MEWING)

457
00:24:35,057 --> 00:24:36,391
What's going on?

458
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:37,892
APRIL: You were right about the Nair.

459
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,645
(GASPS)

460
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,189
Oh, my God, my ass is killing this cat.

461
00:24:43,274 --> 00:24:44,274
(WHINES)

462
00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:46,818
Please?

463
00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:49,279
No way!

464
00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:51,614
Let's go!

465
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,493
WREN: It was so nice to meet you two.
PENG: Bye, Mrs. Leroux.

466
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:56,911
Bye, Mrs. Leroux.

467
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:00,874
What was that about?

468
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,333
I don't know.
We should have breastfed longer.

469
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:03,751
Oh, honey.

470
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:04,919
(WHINES)

471
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,630
(GASPS) Tolstoy! Jackie! Kitty down!

472
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:09,007
- We have a kitty down!
- Oh!

473
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,092
What happened?

474
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:12,427
It's my fault.

475
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:15,180
I completely blanked on
the ancient Greek for "seatbelt."

476
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:16,389
So now what do we do?

477
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:19,934
We drive really, really carefully.

478
00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:25,481
FUZZY: Okay, Spidey, I don't know
if you know about super-spy missions,

479
00:25:25,608 --> 00:25:27,817
but the key here
is the element of surprise.

480
00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:31,779
We must be very, very, very stealthy.

481
00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:37,285
There's Lara's place right up there.

482
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,788
(SIGHS) We had a lot
of good times in that apartment.

483
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:42,832
I mean, not like that.

484
00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:45,752
Well, like that, just not because of that.

485
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,465
Special. You know what I mean?

486
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,134
Do you?

487
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,136
Okay.

488
00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:58,139
All right, well, you know,
she didn't think so, because

489
00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:02,477
she started sharing intimacies
with this mixed martial arts guy.

490
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:05,396
Big, scary guy called Jörgen.

491
00:26:05,481 --> 00:26:07,815
You know,
the two rock dots over the "o"?

492
00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:12,570
He has this huge tattoo on his arm
of this dragon smoking a cigarette,

493
00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:15,782
which I personally find redundant
because I don't see why a dragon

494
00:26:15,866 --> 00:26:17,283
would smoke a cigarette.

495
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,036
It doesn't make any sense.
You know what I'm saying?

496
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,538
Dragons have smoke in their body.

497
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:24,332
It's part of being a dragon.

498
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,001
Not to mention if he's got dragon kids.

499
00:26:27,086 --> 00:26:29,212
Smoking around dragon kids?
I don't know.

500
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:32,674
Time for vengeance, Spidey. Yeah!

501
00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:36,094
Okay, man, get pumped, here we go!
Let's do this.

502
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:37,220
(GRUNTS)

503
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,099
Aw, what?

504
00:26:43,727 --> 00:26:44,852
(EXHALES)

505
00:26:46,522 --> 00:26:47,647
I'm gonna have to get a little bit closer.

506
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:49,065
You might wanna put your mask on

507
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,026
because we're about to commit
a very serious crime.

508
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:55,196
I mean, you're a minor,
still, but, you know,

509
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:57,365
these days, they execute minors.

510
00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:00,285
Okay. All right. Here we go.

511
00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:06,165
(FUZZY MUTTERING)

512
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,293
Let's play.

513
00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:12,880
(CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah!

514
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:15,300
Direct hit, Spidey!

515
00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:16,426
Yeah!

516
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:17,969
All right.

517
00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:19,429
(FIRE CRACKLING)

518
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,472
Oh, no, that's a fire.

519
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:23,516
There's a fire. It's all on fire.

520
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,144
Get the hose! Spidey, get the hose!

521
00:27:31,317 --> 00:27:32,775
(POLICE CHATTER ON RADIO)

522
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,236
Oh, no!

523
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,487
Oh, no.

524
00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:38,197
What have I done? (SOBBING)

525
00:27:43,412 --> 00:27:44,412
Fuzzy?

526
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:45,997
Lara?

527
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:47,832
MAN: What the hell?

528
00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:49,500
Who the hell are you?

529
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,085
Lara!

530
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:54,255
(CRASHING)

531
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:55,423
(FUZZY MUTTERING)

532
00:27:57,593 --> 00:27:58,885
Oh! Kill him, baby! Kill him!

533
00:27:59,762 --> 00:28:01,929
Oh, this went horribly wrong.

534
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:05,516
OFFICER: Whoa. Right there.

535
00:28:05,768 --> 00:28:07,435
FUZZY: This is a nightmare!
MAN: Come here!

536
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,604
Run, Spidey! Go! Save yourself!

537
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,690
Meet me at the car!

538
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,114
WOMAN: Get him!

539
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:21,407
MAN: You're dead.

540
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:23,034
What? Come on! No!

541
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,243
(YELLING)

542
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,916
What is going on?

543
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,889
Wait. Wait, Spidey! Spidey!

544
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,059
Spidey!

545
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:50,311
Ah.

546
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,897
He really loves that candy.

547
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:57,485
- Fuzzy?
- Lara!

548
00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,405
Oh, thank God. Please,
you gotta help me get my car back.

549
00:29:00,489 --> 00:29:03,074
Why should I give a crap what happens
to your lame car?

550
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:06,911
Because there's
an eight-year-old boy inside.

551
00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,082
That's messed up.

552
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,209
It's not what you're thinking.

553
00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:43,990
WREN: We checked the mini-mart
and the arcade.

554
00:29:44,074 --> 00:29:45,533
The comic book store is closed.

555
00:29:45,826 --> 00:29:49,162
I know. Let's go to Captain Chicken.
Albert lives for that stuff.

556
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,497
Really? Despite all the trans fat?

557
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,334
I know a place where we can ask
200 people if they've seen him.

558
00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:57,587
No, April, for the hundredth time,

559
00:29:57,713 --> 00:29:59,881
we are not going to Aaron Riley's.

560
00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:01,382
You know, to be honest,

561
00:30:01,592 --> 00:30:03,551
I don't really get all
the hype about Aaron.

562
00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:07,763
Well, A, he's gorgeous,
and B, please refer to A.

563
00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:10,057
Pump it up, bro!
Let's get some tunes going!

564
00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:11,142
- (BALLAD PLAYING)
- Hey, stop.

565
00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:13,686
Only the pilot touches the controls.

566
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:14,896
This is the most fun I've ever had.

567
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,772
PENG: Chicks dig music, bro.

568
00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:17,857
ROOSEVELT: Stop messing!

569
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:21,402
(BALLAD PLAYING LOUDLY)

570
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:24,572
Oh, fantastic! You broke the stereo!

571
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:27,200
No big deal. Just put the knob back on!

572
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,410
Yeah. Seriously,
Peng, just give me the knob!

573
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:31,370
I don't have the knob, Roosevelt!

574
00:30:31,455 --> 00:30:32,455
I think it's over here!

575
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,249
Find the knob! Do not touch my leg!

576
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,418
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where are you going?

577
00:30:38,045 --> 00:30:39,587
ROOSEVELT:
You said Captain Chicken.

578
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,881
Yeah, from a side street. Not the strip!

579
00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:42,965
I want out!

580
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:46,594
APRIL: Oh, my God!
This is where cool people hang out.

581
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,429
We are officially losers!

582
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:49,931
I want out!

583
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,433
Let me out of this nerd ship!

584
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:54,352
Rule 6C, child safety locks...

585
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:56,020
APRIL: Get us out of here, Roosevelt!

586
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:57,438
Where do you want me to go?

587
00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,106
APRIL: Oh, God!

588
00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:02,568
Oh, no! Here comes the uplifting chorus!

589
00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:27,260
ROOSEVELT: Okay, we're almost there.
Hang on, guys.

590
00:31:28,971 --> 00:31:30,221
What's happening?

591
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:31,597
(EXCLAIMS IN ANCIENT GREEK)

592
00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:32,848
What?

593
00:31:32,975 --> 00:31:34,267
It's ancient Greek for broken alternator.

594
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,393
- They tried telling me.
- (HORN HONKING)

595
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:38,312
Move the babe magnet, asswad!

596
00:31:38,647 --> 00:31:40,815
Yeah, asswad!

597
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:44,068
What's up, bitches?

598
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:45,528
Why don't you get out
of that honky-ass truck

599
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:46,988
and come at me like a man?

600
00:31:51,702 --> 00:31:54,412
Start the car, Roosevelt.
Start it! Start the car!

601
00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:56,831
I'm trying. Why must you
always be so confrontational?

602
00:31:56,999 --> 00:31:58,791
Sorry, man.
You know how jacked up I get

603
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:00,209
- the night before a debate.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

604
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,003
Oh, my God. It's my mom.

605
00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:06,007
Holy crap, that's Mike Puglio.
He's the wedgie king.

606
00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:07,300
Don't answer it!

607
00:32:07,384 --> 00:32:09,260
She's gonna think that something's up.

608
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:10,636
Something is up.

609
00:32:10,721 --> 00:32:12,388
Hulk like kitty.

610
00:32:13,181 --> 00:32:15,057
- Hey.
- Here, kitty, kitty.

611
00:32:15,225 --> 00:32:16,225
Hey, Mom.

612
00:32:16,393 --> 00:32:19,103
- Hi, hon. How's it going?
- It's going. It's going great.

613
00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:21,814
Exactly as you would
want it to go, so that's good.

614
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:24,900
Hey! Nice wig, Grandma!

615
00:32:25,027 --> 00:32:26,027
(GRUNTS)

616
00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:27,737
What was that?

617
00:32:27,863 --> 00:32:29,280
That was Albert's horror film.

618
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:30,865
Doctor's orders.

619
00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:32,533
Oh, yeah.

620
00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:34,493
Hey, Joy. Guess what?

621
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,162
- No.
- (FARTING)

622
00:32:36,246 --> 00:32:37,496
Classic Brueder!

623
00:32:37,581 --> 00:32:38,998
(LAUGHING)

624
00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:40,833
- Step out of the banana wagon!
- Sorry, Mom!

625
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:42,084
Hands full with putting Albert to bed.

626
00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:44,378
But it's all under control, though,
so you stay out!

627
00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:47,089
Stay out and have fun!
Stay out very late, okay?

628
00:32:47,382 --> 00:32:48,633
JOY: What is going on over there?

629
00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:51,969
That's a very, very good pantomime.

630
00:32:52,054 --> 00:32:53,346
JOY: Wren, can you hear me?

631
00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:54,555
Do you do theater?

632
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,140
All right, love you. (KISSES) Bye.

633
00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:57,892
- JOY: Wait, wait, wait!
- Hulk smash!

634
00:32:58,018 --> 00:32:59,518
- (GRUNTS)
- (MUSIC STARTS AGAIN)

635
00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:01,062
- Punch it! Go!
- Go!

636
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:04,607
ALL: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

637
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:08,903
MIKE: That guy
is getting a serious wedgie!

638
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:14,659
(YELLS)

639
00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:16,786
Evasive maneuvers! Hard right!

640
00:33:17,537 --> 00:33:18,537
Hard right!

641
00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:29,715
- Dude, where'd they go?
- (GRUNTS)

642
00:33:30,676 --> 00:33:32,677
WREN: Roosevelt, roll down the window.

643
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:35,846
GIRL: Welcome to Captain Chicken.

644
00:33:36,098 --> 00:33:38,599
What be your ahr-derrr?

645
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:42,520
Have any fat, one-armed
Spider-Men been through here?

646
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,869
Hey, there, little guy.
Where's your family?

647
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,913
Hey! We're gonna be late.

648
00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:02,915
Cover charge goes up in 15 minutes.

649
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,125
Okay.

650
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:06,877
Look, I got to go,
but I'm not leaving you here by yourself.

651
00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:07,962
You got ID?

652
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,548
I'm just kidding. Come on.

653
00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:15,553
I'm Galaxy Scout. You must be Spidey.

654
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,513
Do you like to dance?

655
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:21,809
(THREE LITTLE MAIDS
FROM SCHOOL PLAYING)

656
00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,228
APRIL: Oh, my God.
What are we listening to?

657
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:26,647
ROOSEVELT: That's my moms'
favorite musical.

658
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:30,067
Dad? Unlock me.

659
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:34,905
April, I need your help.
You are my best friend!

660
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,699
Which is why it's my duty

661
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:39,118
to tell you you are one more
nerd music jam away

662
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:41,495
from total social suicide!

663
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:42,663
Bye.

664
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:44,165
What? Peng!

665
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:45,416
Stop her! Grab her legs!

666
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,501
I got her! I got her!

667
00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:49,044
APRIL: Get off of me!

668
00:34:49,171 --> 00:34:50,796
Not tonight. Nothing tonight.

669
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:54,383
Okay, let me go and I'll let you
touch my boob for 10 seconds.

670
00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:56,093
- Thirty!
- Fifteen.

671
00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:58,179
Twenty and I can pick a cold day.

672
00:34:58,764 --> 00:35:00,139
- Done.
- Ha!

673
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,099
ROOSEVELT: April, come on,
get back in, seriously.

674
00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:03,768
Watch out!

675
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,937
Gotcha, perds!

676
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:09,857
Thought you ditched us,
didn't you, fartbreath?

677
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:11,358
They look so mad.

678
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,360
BULLIES: Oh!

679
00:35:14,738 --> 00:35:15,988
(LAUGHING)

680
00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:19,867
Inside voices, inside voices!

681
00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:23,120
Jump the curb.

682
00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:25,289
I have this.

683
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:35,800
I did not have it.

684
00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:37,635
(METALLIC CREAKING)

685
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:42,306
(ALL SCREAM)

686
00:35:47,395 --> 00:35:49,230
(BYSTANDERS LAUGHING)

687
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,987
WREN: Roosevelt, I'm so sorry.

688
00:35:57,989 --> 00:36:00,491
I'll tell your moms it was all my fault.

689
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,409
I made you do it!

690
00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:06,288
No, you didn't make me do anything.
I wanted to.

691
00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:07,790
APRIL: Oh, really?

692
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:09,625
You wanted to spend your Halloween

693
00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:12,586
driving all over town
in a rolling "Kick Me" sign?

694
00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:16,423
You wanted to get violated
by a giant pirate bird?

695
00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:19,927
You losers have ruined our social lives!

696
00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:21,387
(SOBBING)

697
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:29,395
Peng!

698
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:37,152
- Let's go back to the car.
- HULK: I can't breathe.

699
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:38,904
What the...

700
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:42,741
Wait. Peng.

701
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:45,870
Uh-oh! He's packing heat!

702
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,371
What's he doing?

703
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:49,123
MIKE: Hang on there,
little buddy, all right.

704
00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:51,458
You got to give me a fighting chance.

705
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,628
Let's settle this like gentlemen.

706
00:36:54,921 --> 00:36:56,297
We're not even really gentlemen.

707
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:57,756
We're barely even men.

708
00:36:57,924 --> 00:36:59,258
Hey, Peng, let's just go.

709
00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:06,515
Count us off.

710
00:37:08,143 --> 00:37:11,061
CROWD: One! Two! Three!

711
00:37:11,146 --> 00:37:13,898
Ignore him, Peng! Just walk away!

712
00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:17,234
Yeah. Losers talk, winners walk, buddy.
Let's go!

713
00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:18,652
CROWD: Ten!

714
00:37:26,202 --> 00:37:30,122
We have a situation here
involving a musket and a drumstick.

715
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,836
ROOSEVELT: That gun
doesn't even work, Peng.

716
00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:37,671
He is gonna beat the crap out of you!

717
00:37:39,466 --> 00:37:41,508
You're right, man.

718
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:43,552
(INAUDIBLE)

719
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:46,513
(ALL SCREAM)

720
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:49,224
(MIKE YELLING)

721
00:37:50,477 --> 00:37:51,477
Mike!

722
00:37:54,397 --> 00:37:55,689
(WAILING)

723
00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:00,653
Dude, dude, dude. Dude.

724
00:38:00,862 --> 00:38:01,904
(SNIFFING)

725
00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:05,199
Dude, it's chicken. Chill out, dude.
It's just chicken.

726
00:38:06,076 --> 00:38:07,409
It's just chicken, man.

727
00:38:07,702 --> 00:38:09,161
(CROWD LAUGHING)

728
00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:11,080
(SIREN WAILS)

729
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:13,499
Dude, cops. Let's split.

730
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:17,836
For the record, those were not real tears!

731
00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:21,674
Oh, and Captain Chicken,
your food sucks!

732
00:38:22,258 --> 00:38:24,259
Come on, Peng.
We still need to find Albert

733
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:26,345
and I can't do it without you.
We're a team, okay?

734
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,347
All four of us.

735
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:33,519
April?

736
00:38:34,104 --> 00:38:36,271
I thought all I wanted
was a night like this,

737
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:40,693
but we don't belong out here.

738
00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:42,152
(SIREN WAILS)

739
00:38:46,366 --> 00:38:48,033
What if we do?

740
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,952
Come on, Peng, let's go.

741
00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:51,537
WREN: Come on, Peng!

742
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:52,871
Peng!

743
00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:54,623
Hey. Hey!

744
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:03,716
Stop the car, Chicken Boy!
Stop! Police! Hey!

745
00:39:07,303 --> 00:39:09,805
- My God! Go, go, go!
- I'm going!

746
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:11,724
Come on. Come on.

747
00:39:12,392 --> 00:39:14,059
We got T. P.'ed?

748
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:15,894
What the hell?

749
00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:18,147
- Stacy Lautner's dad?
- Yeah.

750
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:19,314
She broke my heart.

751
00:39:19,566 --> 00:39:20,899
Vengeance!

752
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:23,652
Halloween.

753
00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:27,489
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

754
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:06,987
(CLUBBERS CHEERING)

755
00:40:07,322 --> 00:40:09,198
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

756
00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:24,505
Hit the road, Webster.

757
00:40:24,589 --> 00:40:27,424
I'm gonna show you how
big people get their freak on.

758
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:29,384
But leave the stash!

759
00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:31,512
I've been rippin' and tearin'
since sundown

760
00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:33,806
and I'm feeling a little snacky!

761
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:35,891
Ooh, twerk it, twerk it!

762
00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:37,935
(SCOFFS) You're a pig, Jörgen.

763
00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:39,686
(ECHOING)

764
00:40:40,814 --> 00:40:42,231
FUZZY: Big guy called Jörgen.

765
00:40:42,482 --> 00:40:46,652
He has this big tattoo on his arm
of a dragon smoking a cigarette.

766
00:40:46,903 --> 00:40:48,570
GALAXY SCOUT:
You even smell creepy.

767
00:40:49,155 --> 00:40:50,656
Come on, let's go.

768
00:40:55,161 --> 00:40:56,328
Cruddy.

769
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,413
Over-the-counter crap.

770
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:11,885
JOY: Is there a bathroom?
Do you have a bathroom?

771
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:14,847
Excuse me. Sorry.

772
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:18,559
Yo! Real Housewives of Cleveland!

773
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:23,105
No. I would never be on that show.

774
00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:25,023
Excuse me.

775
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,363
Oh, my God.

776
00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:39,580
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

777
00:41:39,706 --> 00:41:42,374
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to come in...

778
00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:44,877
How good is that book?

779
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:52,426
Can we...
Can we help you with something?

780
00:41:52,886 --> 00:41:55,888
Oh, I was just looking
for a minute by myself

781
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:59,850
without a party animal
farting in my phone.

782
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:02,060
Classic Brueder. (CHUCKLES)

783
00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:05,314
No offense.
I mean, your son seems great.

784
00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:08,066
He's an idiot.

785
00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:09,902
Hey, guys, what's up?

786
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,988
Oh, hey, you met. I love this.

787
00:42:13,406 --> 00:42:16,742
Um, quick question.
That rug in the entryway?

788
00:42:16,993 --> 00:42:18,368
How flammable is it?

789
00:42:18,453 --> 00:42:21,330
Is it like fire-retardant
or just regular retardant, or...

790
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:23,040
Don't even worry about it.

791
00:42:23,124 --> 00:42:25,334
Bee-tee-dubs,
Eddie Oshinki's about to shoot

792
00:42:25,418 --> 00:42:29,379
a ping pong ball out of his whatoosie,
and Keevin really wants you to be there.

793
00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:31,632
It's early in the relationship,
he's still trying to impress her.

794
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:33,967
Young love, right?

795
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,641
Tea? Anyone?

796
00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,769
I would love tea. Thank you.

797
00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:53,320
I'm gonna have to flee to Mexico.

798
00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:56,949
You? I lost my little brother
on Halloween.

799
00:42:57,158 --> 00:42:58,992
They're gonna lock me up for life!

800
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:00,577
I shot a man!

801
00:43:00,662 --> 00:43:02,162
Actually, you shot a man's chicken.

802
00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:05,624
It's not the same.

803
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:06,750
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

804
00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:08,085
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

805
00:43:09,629 --> 00:43:10,754
What do you want?

806
00:43:10,964 --> 00:43:12,589
- He's here!
- Where?

807
00:43:12,674 --> 00:43:16,635
At the party.
I just saw him a second ago. Hurry.

808
00:43:17,679 --> 00:43:20,514
April found Albert!
They're at Aaron Riley's!

809
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:21,598
Let's go!

810
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,065
Fuzzy. Bus stop. That way.

811
00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:32,901
So we went to the tow yard
and my car was there.

812
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:35,279
Spidey wasn't. Where could he be?

813
00:43:35,363 --> 00:43:36,738
Mind telling me
why you were hanging out

814
00:43:36,864 --> 00:43:38,573
with an eight-year-old in the first place?

815
00:43:38,658 --> 00:43:39,992
I was lonely.

816
00:43:40,076 --> 00:43:43,203
Ever since you left,
I've been roommates with my sadness.

817
00:43:43,705 --> 00:43:45,831
Hey, girl, where were you?

818
00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:47,749
Don't ask. I spent my night with Fuzz

819
00:43:47,875 --> 00:43:50,252
trying to find some
one-armed spider-midget.

820
00:43:50,336 --> 00:43:52,754
Oh, my God. We know that dude.
We were partying with him.

821
00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:54,464
- LARA: You were?
- Yeah, he's awesome.

822
00:43:54,549 --> 00:43:55,549
See, Lara?

823
00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:58,343
It's not like I hang out with
lame eight-year-olds. God!

824
00:43:58,553 --> 00:43:59,553
Where is he now?

825
00:43:59,721 --> 00:44:01,096
I don't know. We lost him.

826
00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:02,389
He was hitting the Rolos pretty hard.

827
00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:04,641
- Yeah, that's him.
- (HORN HONKS)

828
00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:06,518
Hey, ladies, need a ride?

829
00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:07,936
Ew.

830
00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:10,063
Looking good, Lara.

831
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:11,565
(GIGGLES) Thank you.

832
00:44:11,691 --> 00:44:13,692
Hey, you take that back right now.

833
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:17,070
Hey, Lara, is that the guy
who squats when he pees?

834
00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:19,656
- Why would you say that to anybody?
- LARA: You do.

835
00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:21,658
I can't believe... Ow!

836
00:44:27,582 --> 00:44:30,083
Spidey's stash can.

837
00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:34,713
Spidey.

838
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:42,596
What kind of crazy shit
are you mixed up in?

839
00:44:44,974 --> 00:44:47,267
WREN: I think this is it right here.
Make a right.

840
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:05,160
Hey.

841
00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:09,206
I heard a rumor you shot
Mike Puglio with a musket.

842
00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:10,457
Is that true?

843
00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:11,625
Yeah.

844
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,043
My man.

845
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:15,253
Come on, I want to hear all about it.

846
00:45:15,338 --> 00:45:16,797
Hey, everyone.
This is the guy who shot Puglio.

847
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:17,881
Oh, my God, at last.

848
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:20,634
I just saw him in the living room.
Come on.

849
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:22,177
Um...

850
00:45:22,804 --> 00:45:26,306
Good idea. We'll split up,
cover more ground that way.

851
00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:33,980
So?

852
00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:37,818
Are you blind? On the stage. Over there.

853
00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:40,987
Check, one, two. Check, check.

854
00:45:42,323 --> 00:45:45,659
I can't believe I actually
thought you found my brother.

855
00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:49,704
Really? Because I totally tried
to make it sound like that on purpose.

856
00:45:57,171 --> 00:45:58,505
(CHUCKLES)

857
00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:02,551
- You look so familiar.
- Oh.

858
00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:06,346
Were you standing behind me in line
for a mammogram last week?

859
00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,598
I think I was, actually.

860
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:10,851
I did get a mammogram last week, so...

861
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:13,854
Does everything come out okay?

862
00:46:14,063 --> 00:46:18,608
Oh, yes. Yes, they're...
Thank you. How are yours?

863
00:46:18,693 --> 00:46:20,235
Oh, me, too. I'm good.

864
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:21,987
Oh, good, good, good.

865
00:46:24,657 --> 00:46:26,032
How'd you meet Keevin?

866
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:28,827
Oh, I met him
at the Starbucks on Shattuck.

867
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,328
We go there.

868
00:46:30,413 --> 00:46:34,040
My son loves Caramel Macchiatos
and that's Keevin's specialty.

869
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,209
- Oh, you have a son?
- Yep.

870
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:37,878
I have a son and a daughter.

871
00:46:38,212 --> 00:46:41,006
Two children. And yet you date Keevin?

872
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,424
Larry.

873
00:46:42,675 --> 00:46:45,135
No, we... I mean, we're not all...

874
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:46,303
Where's your husband?

875
00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:47,804
Oh, for Christ's sake.

876
00:46:47,889 --> 00:46:51,224
Lawrence Reuben Brueder.
I am sorry. He's so nosey.

877
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:54,144
He's been watching a lot
of Dr. Drew lately.

878
00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,980
It's okay. He's dead, actually. He died.

879
00:46:57,190 --> 00:46:58,857
He passed away, and so, um...

880
00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,400
You miss him?

881
00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:02,319
Um...

882
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:05,113
Yeah, I miss my husband.
I miss him a lot.

883
00:47:05,198 --> 00:47:08,325
You know, he was... He was my husband

884
00:47:08,576 --> 00:47:11,578
and so I'm kind of alone.

885
00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:12,913
I have the kids there,

886
00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:16,541
but that's not really comforting
because I'm their mother

887
00:47:16,626 --> 00:47:18,502
and I kind of have to take care
of them all the time.

888
00:47:18,711 --> 00:47:21,796
And my son doesn't really
talk a lot to people.

889
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:26,635
And then my daughter is talking about
going to school in New York City

890
00:47:26,886 --> 00:47:28,386
and she wants to run across the country,

891
00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:30,096
which is really terrifying to me

892
00:47:30,181 --> 00:47:32,599
because then
she's not gonna be near me

893
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:34,851
and I don't know how quickly
this all happened

894
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:38,230
because it feels like she was just a baby
a couple of months ago.

895
00:47:38,481 --> 00:47:39,940
You know, these are things
that happen to people,

896
00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:41,399
and a lot of people
don't even understand

897
00:47:41,484 --> 00:47:42,817
what it's like to be a single mother.

898
00:47:42,902 --> 00:47:44,653
A lot of people don't even get it.

899
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:46,863
And I'm a single mother. You know?

900
00:47:46,948 --> 00:47:49,324
I'm a single mother, and I'm sitting here

901
00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:54,538
in a Britney Spears costume
at a party with a son of yours

902
00:47:55,081 --> 00:47:56,831
that lives with you.

903
00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:59,960
So, yeah, I miss my husband. I miss him.

904
00:48:06,259 --> 00:48:08,260
What is that tea? It's so good.

905
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,680
I suppose you want
to get back to the kids.

906
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:15,433
I do, actually.

907
00:48:15,977 --> 00:48:17,352
(RINGING)

908
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:28,822
Come on, Albert, pick up. Pick up.

909
00:48:36,872 --> 00:48:39,499
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC
PLAYING FROM CAR RADIO)

910
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,677
(BELCHES)

911
00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:55,056

912
00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:57,851
Yeah.

913
00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:14,451
Hey, whoa, hey!

914
00:49:14,827 --> 00:49:16,828
It's Fuzzy. What's up, man?

915
00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,663
I can't believe I found you.
What up, dawg?

916
00:49:18,748 --> 00:49:20,540
Bam. Okay, good.

917
00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:21,916
Follow-up question.

918
00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:24,919
What are you doing in the back
of Jörgen's car?

919
00:49:25,004 --> 00:49:26,755
Do you have any idea
how dangerous that is?

920
00:49:26,839 --> 00:49:28,840
Are you out of your mind?

921
00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:31,134
I like it. It shows gumption.

922
00:49:31,218 --> 00:49:33,887
You got a lot of moxie, kid,
I'll give you that. Bam.

923
00:49:34,055 --> 00:49:37,641
Stash can. Thought you might
like to see that one. Good.

924
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:42,520
This Jörgen character has taken
a dump on both of us.

925
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:45,523
But tonight,

926
00:49:45,858 --> 00:49:48,026
tonight, we dump on him.

927
00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:50,612
Guess what's in here?
It's not French fries.

928
00:49:51,030 --> 00:49:54,199
That's dog poo, professional grade.

929
00:49:55,868 --> 00:49:58,620
Come on, look, it's short notice, okay?

930
00:49:58,704 --> 00:50:00,372
Everyone has really tiny dogs these days.

931
00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:03,500
I had to go
to multiple houses just to get this.

932
00:50:03,751 --> 00:50:05,835
I mean, it doesn't even smell.

933
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:07,587
I don't know what
those people are feeding their dogs.

934
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:12,592
What do you got in there?
Fireworks! Very nice.

935
00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:14,886
(IMITATING EXPLOSION) Yeah.

936
00:50:14,970 --> 00:50:16,596
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

937
00:50:17,390 --> 00:50:18,431
(GRUNTS)

938
00:50:20,226 --> 00:50:21,226
Who's there?

939
00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:25,105
Oh, yeah.

940
00:50:25,398 --> 00:50:26,731
Oh, yeah, Spidey, come on, let's go.

941
00:50:30,611 --> 00:50:32,946
Spidey, come on.
Come on, Spidey. Spidey?

942
00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:41,454
Hot foot! You think I was born yesterday?

943
00:50:42,998 --> 00:50:44,833
You're gonna have to come
at old Jörgen with something

944
00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:46,626
a little more than a burning bag of...

945
00:50:47,002 --> 00:50:48,086
Ooh!

946
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,089
(LAUGHS)

947
00:50:52,133 --> 00:50:53,466
You!

948
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:56,302
Oh, jeez! You, come here!

949
00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:58,221
Come here! You!

950
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:00,932
You little twerp, come here! Come here!

951
00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:05,228
Come here! Stop kicking me! Jeez!

952
00:51:08,232 --> 00:51:09,816
Come on, Fuzzy. Spidey needs you.

953
00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:11,484
Why can't I move?

954
00:51:11,694 --> 00:51:13,361
Stop biting! Stop biting!

955
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:28,585
Hey.

956
00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:32,172
So...

957
00:51:32,923 --> 00:51:35,175
I was planning to wait
till first snowfall, but, uh...

958
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:39,179
I think I'd like to collect
on our deal right now.

959
00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:45,518
Go for it.

960
00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:54,277
- Seriously?
- Twenty seconds, no honking.

961
00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:07,123
You know, I think
I'm gonna come in lefty.

962
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:08,541
Oh, my God.

963
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:12,295
(WHIMPERS)

964
00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:19,803
You're an angel.

965
00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:22,472
You're a glorious angel.

966
00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:26,976
How long was that?

967
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:30,146
That was...

968
00:52:34,819 --> 00:52:35,860
Enough.

969
00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:49,582
Sir, I know I called before,

970
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:52,043
but could you please
check lock-up one more time?

971
00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,754
There's a very real chance
that he's been arrested.

972
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,339
Hello?

973
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:02,762
Hey.

974
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,181
Hi.

975
00:53:05,516 --> 00:53:06,933
How's it going?

976
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:08,601
(SIGHING)

977
00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:11,813
This morning, all I wanted was
to get away from my little brother, and...

978
00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:15,066
Now that I've lost him,
I'd do anything to get him back.

979
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:17,026
You will.

980
00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,028
Are you sure?

981
00:53:20,114 --> 00:53:22,615
I mean, as E.O. Wilson says,

982
00:53:22,867 --> 00:53:25,660
"You are capable
of more than you know."

983
00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:28,538
Of course, he was talking about ants

984
00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,373
being able to carry 10 times
their body weight.

985
00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:33,835
So I'm not really sure
if it's applicable to this situation.

986
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,882
Thank you for helping me tonight.

987
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:42,051
I hope I didn't ruin your Halloween.

988
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:46,139
What? No.
I never miss an opportunity to hang out

989
00:53:46,223 --> 00:53:48,182
with a fellow fan of the Supreme Court.

990
00:53:51,061 --> 00:53:54,397
Listen, I know this year's
probably sucked for you.

991
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,317
I just wanted to say,

992
00:53:57,443 --> 00:53:59,903
the way that you've
handled everything has been

993
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:01,321
really impressive.

994
00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:03,406
Thank you.

995
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:07,493
You know, as much as I admire
Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

996
00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:11,664
I think you're just as smart and strong

997
00:54:11,999 --> 00:54:14,000
and awesome as she is.

998
00:54:14,835 --> 00:54:16,502
Not quite as sexy, but,

999
00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:20,048
you know, you're young. You'll get there.

1000
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,841
Seriously,

1001
00:54:22,343 --> 00:54:25,345
Wren, I, um... I just wanted to say...

1002
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:26,846
APRIL: There you are!

1003
00:54:28,349 --> 00:54:29,557
(SIGHS)

1004
00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:31,267
Wren...

1005
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:35,104
I'm really sorry about everything.

1006
00:54:35,689 --> 00:54:37,690
I'm sorry about losing Albert.

1007
00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:41,027
I'm sorry about leaving you
at Captain Chicken.

1008
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:44,864
Be warned, it's about
to get really girly up in here.

1009
00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,032
Okay.

1010
00:54:46,158 --> 00:54:50,036
(SIGHS) We haven't had
a super fun night in a long time, and...

1011
00:54:50,871 --> 00:54:53,539
I don't know. I just wanted it to be epic.

1012
00:54:53,874 --> 00:54:58,544
And maybe I got a little carried away.

1013
00:55:00,381 --> 00:55:03,549
You're my best friend, boo. I love you.

1014
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:06,719
I love you, too.

1015
00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:09,305
(WHISPERING) I love you, too.

1016
00:55:11,892 --> 00:55:13,059
Meow!

1017
00:55:16,063 --> 00:55:18,064
What were you two doing out here?

1018
00:55:18,399 --> 00:55:19,482
Oh.

1019
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:20,650
Nothing.

1020
00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:21,818
We were just...

1021
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:22,902
- Talking.
- APRIL: Don't care.

1022
00:55:22,987 --> 00:55:25,238
And now the best part is

1023
00:55:25,406 --> 00:55:28,157
Aaron Riley is totally
gearing up right now

1024
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:30,118
to sing a song about you.

1025
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,745
- Really?
- Yes, really.

1026
00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:36,165
Come on, lady.
You're not in Kansas anymore.

1027
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:37,583
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
SQUEALING)

1028
00:55:38,085 --> 00:55:42,422
AARON: This song goes out
to a special lady. Wren Desantis.

1029
00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:46,217
And, please, people,
no recording devices.

1030
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:48,970
I can't afford to have bootlegs out there.

1031
00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:54,767
Something about the way your hair

1032
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:56,602
Falls across your face

1033
00:55:56,937 --> 00:55:59,105
Your ears I want to nibble

1034
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,065
Your lips I want to taste

1035
00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:04,193
I only see you in homeroom

1036
00:56:04,445 --> 00:56:08,281
But I think of you all day

1037
00:56:09,950 --> 00:56:12,035
Oh

1038
00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:17,040
Homeroom lady

1039
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:20,543
WREN: I wonder what Roosevelt
was about to say?

1040
00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:24,589
He's so nice and funny and smart.

1041
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:27,884
(SINGING INAUDIBLY)

1042
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:31,804
Wait a minute.

1043
00:56:32,556 --> 00:56:33,723
It's Aaron Riley!

1044
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:36,267
Focus.

1045
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:40,229
How could someone be so hot?

1046
00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:41,981
Do you love me?

1047
00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:45,485
Do you not?

1048
00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:53,659
Do you?

1049
00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:59,248
WREN: Part of me really wanted
to believe that if I kissed Aaron Riley,

1050
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,833
I'd be somebody else.

1051
00:57:02,002 --> 00:57:05,004
Not just for a night, but forever.

1052
00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:08,508
And my family would be back to normal,

1053
00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:10,259
and everything would be perfect.

1054
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:17,183
I'm sorry.

1055
00:57:17,267 --> 00:57:18,309
What's your problem,

1056
00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:20,853
- Dora the Explorer?
- ROOSEVELT: Excuse me, sorry.

1057
00:57:20,938 --> 00:57:23,731
But then I realized, perfect is an illusion.

1058
00:57:23,816 --> 00:57:25,650
Just Iike Oz is for Dorothy.

1059
00:57:27,694 --> 00:57:28,861
I...

1060
00:57:29,530 --> 00:57:31,948
I really appreciate you
writing that song for me.

1061
00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:33,699
But

1062
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:37,620
I have to go.

1063
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:39,789
So,

1064
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:42,708
goodbye,

1065
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:45,962
Aaron Riley.

1066
00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:04,564
(SIGHS) I feel like my heart just broke.

1067
00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:06,232
GIRLS: Aww.

1068
00:58:06,984 --> 00:58:08,651
Who else wants to kiss me?

1069
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:10,027
- I do!
- Me!

1070
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:11,112
GIRL: I do!

1071
00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:14,490
Roosevelt!

1072
00:58:14,992 --> 00:58:16,826
Roosevelt! Wait!

1073
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:18,411
Wait!

1074
00:58:19,288 --> 00:58:21,080
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1075
00:58:25,919 --> 00:58:27,170

1076
00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:28,921
What? You called me. Who is this?

1077
00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:31,632
This is Jörgen. I got Spidey.

1078
00:58:33,051 --> 00:58:34,552
Oh, my God! Albert?

1079
00:58:34,678 --> 00:58:37,013
You are such a lifesaver.
Where are you?

1080
00:58:37,264 --> 00:58:39,098
Wait, it doesn't matter. I don't have a car.

1081
00:58:39,224 --> 00:58:40,850
Do you think maybe
you could drop him off?

1082
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:42,602
Maybe you don't understand.

1083
00:58:42,853 --> 00:58:44,979
See, Spidey thought it'd be a fun idea

1084
00:58:45,063 --> 00:58:47,481
to leave me a shit bomb.
You know what that is?

1085
00:58:47,566 --> 00:58:49,025
It's shit with a bomb in it!

1086
00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:50,860
Now, I got a match next week!
Do you hear me?

1087
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,195
What do you want?

1088
00:58:52,279 --> 00:58:53,279
Cash.

1089
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,032
The fight paid $200 if I Iost,
$400 if I won.

1090
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:58,201
Let's say I would have won.

1091
00:58:58,702 --> 00:59:00,661
I don't have that kind of money.

1092
00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:02,038
I only get $20 a week.

1093
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:03,122
Hey, I don't care.

1094
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:05,875
26 Grove Street.

1095
00:59:10,839 --> 00:59:12,298
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

1096
00:59:19,139 --> 00:59:21,015
(INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING)

1097
01:01:26,266 --> 01:01:27,516
You got the cash?

1098
01:01:28,352 --> 01:01:30,186
Where is he?

1099
01:01:30,604 --> 01:01:31,771
Albert, are you okay?

1100
01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:33,022
Albert!

1101
01:01:33,190 --> 01:01:34,190
Whoa.

1102
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:37,860
You know, playing pranks on
Halloween is one thing.

1103
01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:40,905
But a bomb like that, that's terrorism.

1104
01:01:41,281 --> 01:01:43,616
Tiny terrorism.

1105
01:01:45,786 --> 01:01:47,370
I'm so sorry about your foot.

1106
01:01:47,454 --> 01:01:49,747
I'm sure that he didn't mean to hurt you.

1107
01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:51,999
I've been training for months.

1108
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:54,126
Do you have any idea what a strict diet

1109
01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:56,420
of protein shakes
and Red Bull does to a man?

1110
01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:00,132
I have a yeast infection.

1111
01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:05,388
I don't have the money.

1112
01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:07,932
Well, police it is.

1113
01:02:10,394 --> 01:02:11,894
No, please!

1114
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:14,313
Please.

1115
01:02:14,815 --> 01:02:16,482
He's all I have left.

1116
01:02:18,527 --> 01:02:19,652
(DIALING)

1117
01:02:28,078 --> 01:02:29,412
Do you have Licensed To III?

1118
01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:32,248
The Beastie Boys?
Sister, I was rocking Brass Monkey

1119
01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:34,500
when you were still a tadpole
in your daddy's sack.

1120
01:02:35,168 --> 01:02:36,460
Look at the liner notes.

1121
01:02:42,259 --> 01:02:43,926
OPERATOR: 911,
what is your emergency?

1122
01:02:44,219 --> 01:02:45,928
Hello? Can you speak?

1123
01:02:46,972 --> 01:02:48,556
Please hold.

1124
01:02:48,807 --> 01:02:50,808
You're putting us on hold?

1125
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:55,896
Right there. It says "Peter Desantis."

1126
01:02:57,482 --> 01:02:58,649
That's my dad.

1127
01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:02,445
And this,

1128
01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:14,248
this is Mike D's.

1129
01:03:14,749 --> 01:03:16,375
You don't expect me
to believe that's Mike D's.

1130
01:03:16,501 --> 01:03:18,252
My dad was a sound engineer
in New York.

1131
01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:19,628
He worked on their album.

1132
01:03:19,713 --> 01:03:22,006
Mike D left his jacket
in the studio on the last day,

1133
01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:23,883
so my dad just kept it.

1134
01:03:24,593 --> 01:03:26,177
Kind of like I did.

1135
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:28,888
After he died.

1136
01:03:32,851 --> 01:03:33,893
Look at the stitching.

1137
01:03:40,775 --> 01:03:42,318
Well, I appreciate the donation,

1138
01:03:42,444 --> 01:03:44,820
but some kids just belong in prison.
Let's go.

1139
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:46,155
What?

1140
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:47,406
- Let's go!
- No! What do you mean?

1141
01:03:47,491 --> 01:03:49,325
- I mean, let's go!
- No, you said... Albert!

1142
01:03:49,409 --> 01:03:50,743
No, stop!

1143
01:03:51,745 --> 01:03:53,412
Albert! Let go of me!

1144
01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:55,456
Yeah!

1145
01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:57,750
What the hell?

1146
01:03:57,959 --> 01:03:59,251
(FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT PLAYING)

1147
01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:02,755
(GRUNTS) Ow. Ow!

1148
01:04:07,135 --> 01:04:08,344
(LAUGHING)

1149
01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:11,847
(EXPLOSIONS)

1150
01:04:11,932 --> 01:04:13,599
Who wants some?

1151
01:04:15,602 --> 01:04:16,602
Albert!

1152
01:04:19,606 --> 01:04:20,773
(YELLS)

1153
01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:22,608
My beans!

1154
01:04:24,444 --> 01:04:25,486
Yeah!

1155
01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:29,365
OPERATOR: Sir? Still holding,
and I really need to go to the bathroom.

1156
01:04:29,449 --> 01:04:33,160
Albert!

1157
01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:37,122
Come on. Let's go.

1158
01:04:42,087 --> 01:04:43,087
No, Albert!

1159
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:44,755
Come here, boy!

1160
01:04:44,839 --> 01:04:45,839
Albert!

1161
01:04:46,132 --> 01:04:47,132
Where are you going?

1162
01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:49,677
Come on, Albert, hurry!

1163
01:04:49,761 --> 01:04:51,095
FUZZY: Come on, Spidey,
I got you covered!

1164
01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,889
Oh, hi.
Hello. I'm here to rescue you.

1165
01:04:57,644 --> 01:04:59,645
Trick or treat, bitch!

1166
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:01,689
(SHOUTING)

1167
01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:06,652
Woo-hoo!

1168
01:05:08,488 --> 01:05:09,863
(SIREN WAILING)

1169
01:05:09,948 --> 01:05:11,115
FUZZY: (CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah!

1170
01:05:13,827 --> 01:05:15,119
(SIGHS) Okay.

1171
01:05:15,662 --> 01:05:17,496
I'm... What are you doing?

1172
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:19,498
I'm saving the day.

1173
01:05:20,333 --> 01:05:21,500
I'm sorry, who are you?

1174
01:05:21,668 --> 01:05:23,544
Oh, sorry. My name's Fuzzy.

1175
01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:25,546
- Ooh. Oh. Yeah.
- Okay, this...

1176
01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:27,047
Sorry, you have bad timing.

1177
01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:29,300
- They're getting closer, you know.
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.

1178
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:31,510
Hey, Spidey.

1179
01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:35,097
When you're ready to talk,
I'm around to listen.

1180
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,433
Thanks for helping a brother out tonight.

1181
01:05:37,517 --> 01:05:38,601
Okay.

1182
01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:40,603
Bam.

1183
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:42,605
Slam dunk.

1184
01:05:44,649 --> 01:05:46,942
Hey. Whoo! Over here!

1185
01:05:47,027 --> 01:05:49,445
- Hey, coppers! I'm crazy!
- Oh.

1186
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:50,696
- It's a naked man!
- Go!

1187
01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:54,158
I'm naked! Come get me, coppers!
I'm a loon!

1188
01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:55,701
Come on. Let's go.

1189
01:05:55,869 --> 01:05:58,871
You'll never take me alive!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

1190
01:06:04,127 --> 01:06:05,669
JACKIE: It has to be
the best one we've done.

1191
01:06:05,754 --> 01:06:07,546
BARB: Oh, for sure.
JACKIE: In this series.

1192
01:06:07,631 --> 01:06:08,631
BARB: Well, you know why?

1193
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:09,715
Because our heart is in this one.

1194
01:06:09,799 --> 01:06:11,800
JACKIE: Yeah. And it's evolved.

1195
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:14,637
It's evolved, our understanding of it.

1196
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:17,139
Our understanding evolved.

1197
01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:22,728
Roosevelt?

1198
01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:26,148
- Is everything okay?
- Where have you been?

1199
01:06:26,399 --> 01:06:28,901
I messed up, Moms. I messed up bad.

1200
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:29,985
Uh, ba-b-b-b-b!

1201
01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:31,570
(SPEAKING ANCIENT GREEK)

1202
01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:33,989
ROOSEVELT: No, No, I can't.

1203
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,743
I'm not gonna say it in Greek or Aramaic
or any other pre-Christian language.

1204
01:06:37,952 --> 01:06:39,953
Okay. You know that girl, Wren?

1205
01:06:40,205 --> 01:06:41,872
(STAMMERING) I blew it.

1206
01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:44,458
I mean, we drove around all night
looking for her little brother.

1207
01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:48,295
And, oh, the Volvo, it's dead.
It's totaled. It's gone.

1208
01:06:48,505 --> 01:06:49,630
- What?
- What?

1209
01:06:49,756 --> 01:06:51,090
- It's dead.
- What did you...

1210
01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:54,009
And after everything,
she goes for this guy, Aaron,

1211
01:06:54,094 --> 01:06:56,512
who can't even play a proper C chord.

1212
01:06:56,596 --> 01:06:59,223
Roosevelt, we are
so disappointed in you.

1213
01:06:59,307 --> 01:07:01,100
I'm going to be sick. I'm going to be sick.

1214
01:07:01,184 --> 01:07:02,184
Barb?

1215
01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:04,937
I know. I'm sorry. I'll pay off every penny.

1216
01:07:05,146 --> 01:07:07,147
BARB: Yeah. Yeah, you will.

1217
01:07:07,399 --> 01:07:10,067
But I don't give a rat's patootie
about the Volvo.

1218
01:07:11,152 --> 01:07:12,319
In fact,

1219
01:07:13,321 --> 01:07:17,157
the fact that you're here
in the creamy, milky flesh

1220
01:07:17,283 --> 01:07:20,119
means the unibody
construction did its job.

1221
01:07:21,454 --> 01:07:23,455
Did we bring you up to quit?

1222
01:07:23,832 --> 01:07:25,374
Did we bring you up to run away

1223
01:07:25,458 --> 01:07:26,959
with your tail between
your legs every time

1224
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:29,294
some hot Fonzie with a guitar
woos your girl?

1225
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:33,215
Anything in this world worth
having is worth fighting for.

1226
01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:35,384
Yeah, well, not actual fighting, of course.

1227
01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:38,762
Figurative. We don't condone
violence outside of the dojo.

1228
01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:41,432
- Come on, Barb.
- Right. Of course.

1229
01:07:42,726 --> 01:07:46,603
Of course.

1230
01:07:46,855 --> 01:07:50,607
If you really care about her, honey,
you need to tell her that.

1231
01:07:51,609 --> 01:07:52,985
You want me to call her for you?

1232
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,194
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- Barb.

1233
01:07:54,279 --> 01:07:56,447
No. Thanks. That's great advice.

1234
01:07:56,531 --> 01:07:58,490
Let him do his own work.
Okay? This is his thing.

1235
01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:02,453
BARB: It's hard! He's getting old.

1236
01:08:02,537 --> 01:08:04,788
She called me. Hold on.

1237
01:08:04,998 --> 01:08:06,832
Hey, Roosevelt, it's Wren.

1238
01:08:07,041 --> 01:08:09,293
I found Albert, but unfortunately

1239
01:08:09,377 --> 01:08:11,086
my mom's going
to get home before we do.

1240
01:08:11,171 --> 01:08:15,215
Which means she'll either kill me
or I'll be grounded until I'm 93.

1241
01:08:15,967 --> 01:08:19,011
Either way, I want to thank you
for everything you did tonight.

1242
01:08:19,095 --> 01:08:23,098
And I wish things had turned
out differently, because

1243
01:08:23,183 --> 01:08:26,852
you're awesome. And... Yeah, okay.

1244
01:08:27,270 --> 01:08:28,520
Bye.

1245
01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:30,022
- What's she saying? What'd she say?
- Listen.

1246
01:08:30,190 --> 01:08:31,523
He will tell you
when he's ready to tell you.

1247
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:32,608
What did she say?

1248
01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:34,276
No, look, just she needs me. Okay?

1249
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:36,111
Can I borrow the other car?

1250
01:08:49,751 --> 01:08:51,668
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

1251
01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:14,733
WREN: My dad
was always into pulling pranks.

1252
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:17,027
That's where Albert gets it.

1253
01:09:17,529 --> 01:09:20,280
The two of them Ioved Halloween
because they had free rein

1254
01:09:20,365 --> 01:09:22,407
to get into as much trouble as possible.

1255
01:09:23,535 --> 01:09:26,537
Well, that, and they both loved candy.

1256
01:09:27,372 --> 01:09:28,789
Albert was never as happy

1257
01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:31,416
as when he was
trick-or-treating with Dad.

1258
01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:33,919
So, it seemed only right

1259
01:09:34,003 --> 01:09:36,338
that since Dad couldn't
take him this year,

1260
01:09:36,589 --> 01:09:39,591
the Ieast I could do was
bring Albert to see him.

1261
01:09:49,727 --> 01:09:50,894
Wren?

1262
01:09:57,068 --> 01:09:58,402
Yes, Albert?

1263
01:09:59,237 --> 01:10:00,571
Thanks.

1264
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:28,951
Honey, we're home.

1265
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,125
Mrs. Desantis? Stop right there.

1266
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:38,627
I cannot let you enter this house.

1267
01:11:38,711 --> 01:11:40,212
Why? Who the hell are you?

1268
01:11:40,296 --> 01:11:41,338
Roosevelt.

1269
01:11:42,048 --> 01:11:43,382
Friend of Wren's?

1270
01:11:45,176 --> 01:11:46,343
Never been mentioned, huh?

1271
01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:48,428
That's okay.
I mean, 'cause before tonight,

1272
01:11:48,554 --> 01:11:50,639
I've never really done
anything worthy of her taking notice.

1273
01:11:50,723 --> 01:11:53,725
That's a sweet story, and one that
I'm not really that interested in hearing.

1274
01:11:53,893 --> 01:11:55,978
I've been up all night
and I really need to get some sleep.

1275
01:11:56,062 --> 01:11:57,396
I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

1276
01:11:57,522 --> 01:12:01,066
(SIGHS) I'm a single mother.
It's 5:30 in the morning.

1277
01:12:01,401 --> 01:12:03,276
And you really don't
wanna mess with me.

1278
01:12:03,403 --> 01:12:05,737
Someone is counting on me,
and I'm not letting her down,

1279
01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:07,280
so maybe you don't
wanna mess with me.

1280
01:12:07,407 --> 01:12:09,074
- Oh, is that right?
- Yeah.

1281
01:12:10,410 --> 01:12:11,410
(SNIFFS)

1282
01:12:12,078 --> 01:12:13,245
(GRUNTS IN PAIN)

1283
01:12:13,579 --> 01:12:15,914
You can inflict whatever
physical pain you want,

1284
01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:18,166
which is considerable,

1285
01:12:18,251 --> 01:12:20,168
as is your knowledge of pressure points.

1286
01:12:20,503 --> 01:12:22,671
But I'm not going anywhere.

1287
01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:25,007
Mrs. Desantis, tonight was
the best night of my life.

1288
01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:27,676
I lied to my moms for the first time ever.

1289
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,302
I trashed our Volvo.

1290
01:12:29,429 --> 01:12:31,471
My best friend shot
another man's drumstick.

1291
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:34,099
The cops are probably after us.

1292
01:12:34,225 --> 01:12:35,517
And I'm gonna have to get a part-time job

1293
01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:37,602
at Captain Chicken just
to pay off the damage I caused.

1294
01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:42,607
But I wouldn't trade a minute of it,
'cause I got to spend it with Wren.

1295
01:12:47,238 --> 01:12:48,447
And I love her.

1296
01:12:49,782 --> 01:12:51,450
I'm in love with your daughter.

1297
01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:59,374
- I take it you know this kid?
- WREN: Yes.

1298
01:13:00,126 --> 01:13:02,127
Yes. I do.

1299
01:13:02,545 --> 01:13:04,546
Wren. Is that you?

1300
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:08,467
Hello, Wren. Don't worry.

1301
01:13:08,593 --> 01:13:10,802
As you can see,
I have the situation in hand.

1302
01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:12,637
Your mother has not entered the house.

1303
01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:13,889
Put your head back down.

1304
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:15,390
Why does this kid not want to let me in?

1305
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:17,225
I'll explain later.

1306
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,895
Okay. Well, he is kind of cute.

1307
01:13:19,979 --> 01:13:21,813
It was nice to meet you, Roosevelt.

1308
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:24,107
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Desantis.

1309
01:13:24,192 --> 01:13:25,609
JOY: Come on, Albert.

1310
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:29,029
It was awkward, but memorable.

1311
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:37,412
Are you okay?

1312
01:13:37,497 --> 01:13:38,997
Yeah, I'm good.

1313
01:13:39,999 --> 01:13:43,418
But more importantly,
I mean, you found Albert.

1314
01:13:43,836 --> 01:13:45,587
- And your mom.
- Yeah.

1315
01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:48,924
Yeah, we sort of bumped
into her on the way home.

1316
01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:50,050
Sorry.

1317
01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:54,679
Don't be. I'm glad I'm here.

1318
01:13:56,516 --> 01:13:57,557
You are?

1319
01:13:59,310 --> 01:14:00,352
Mmm-hmm.

1320
01:14:01,187 --> 01:14:02,854
'Cause now I can do this.

1321
01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:04,439
(INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING)

1322
01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:37,430
Oh.

1323
01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:48,942
(PENG GROWLS)

1324
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:58,451
(CHATTING INDISCERNIBLY)

1325
01:15:06,586 --> 01:15:07,919
Oh, hey, Fuzz.

1326
01:15:08,421 --> 01:15:10,172
Denise, hey.

1327
01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:11,506
Big night last night?

1328
01:15:11,591 --> 01:15:13,717
Oh, huge night, actually.

1329
01:15:13,801 --> 01:15:17,679
I finally opened my eyes and realized
that Lara and I are not meant to be.

1330
01:15:17,930 --> 01:15:22,100
At all. Which is just a big
one for me to take, 'cause...

1331
01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:25,604
No, I meant, did you ever find
that little Spider-dude?

1332
01:15:25,688 --> 01:15:28,064
Oh, yeah, Spidey. Yeah, totally.

1333
01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:30,525
Saved his life. No big deal.

1334
01:15:30,610 --> 01:15:32,485
It happens. Kind of how I roll.

1335
01:15:33,487 --> 01:15:34,738
Wait, is that the new issue?

1336
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:36,448
Uh...

1337
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,366
It's sold out everywhere.

1338
01:15:38,784 --> 01:15:40,785
Yeah, I'll tell you what.

1339
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:42,746
It's on the house.

1340
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,289
- Really?
- Yeah.

1341
01:15:44,457 --> 01:15:46,875
A fellow fan of Galaxy Scout.

1342
01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:49,252
- Wow, thanks, Fuzz.
- No problem.

1343
01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:51,796
See you around?

1344
01:15:52,798 --> 01:15:53,965
See ya.

1345
01:15:54,467 --> 01:15:55,634
Hey, Denise?

1346
01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:58,887
What do you think about maybe

1347
01:15:58,971 --> 01:16:02,015
you, me and Spidey
hanging out whatever?

1348
01:16:02,475 --> 01:16:05,310
Sure. Maybe just you and me?

1349
01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:09,648
Yeah, yeah, of course.

1350
01:16:09,982 --> 01:16:11,983
Just the two of us.

1351
01:16:12,985 --> 01:16:14,986
Nice. Okay.

1352
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:17,781
I have nothing to read now.

1353
01:16:45,184 --> 01:16:47,519
We're sure gonna miss her. Huh, Albert?

1354
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:56,820
Candy pancakes with a side
of AirHead bacon.

1355
01:16:57,488 --> 01:16:59,489
Yeah. Most people
do leftovers on Thanksgiving.

1356
01:16:59,782 --> 01:17:00,949
Our family does Halloween.

1357
01:17:02,201 --> 01:17:04,703
Amazing! Albert made these?

1358
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,039
My compliments to the chef.

1359
01:17:09,375 --> 01:17:10,792
Where is the little guy?

1360
01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,544
I don't know.
He was just here a second ago.

1361
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,715
(HEROIC INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)

1362
01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:36,568
Maybe you could do
an explaining rap, too.

1363
01:18:03,387 --> 01:18:04,471
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

1364
01:18:11,479 --> 01:18:12,479
Oh, my God.

1365
01:18:12,772 --> 01:18:14,856
- He did not.
- I told you so!

1366
01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:17,108
I mean, maybe sometimes
April knows something.

1367
01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:20,278
Everything we worked for
last night is ruined.

1368
01:18:20,821 --> 01:18:23,323
Maybe you could do
an explaining rap, too.

1369
01:18:23,574 --> 01:18:24,657
APRIL: Wren?

1370
01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:26,201
(WITH AUTO-TUNED VOICES)

1371
01:18:26,285 --> 01:18:28,620
I'm E.O. Wilson and I'm a scientist

1372
01:18:28,913 --> 01:18:31,373
I study ants and stuff if you get the gist

1373
01:18:31,457 --> 01:18:33,625
I'm about as cool as a guy can get

1374
01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:36,336
Think Jason Bourne with a butterfly net

1375
01:18:36,796 --> 01:18:39,130
Praying mantis Praying mantis

1376
01:18:39,423 --> 01:18:41,549
The turtle, the turtle

1377
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:42,717
Don't do that

1378
01:18:42,802 --> 01:18:43,843
What?

1379
01:18:46,305 --> 01:18:47,389
(FARTING)

1380
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,224
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ew!

1381
01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:52,310
WREN: Albert!

1382
01:18:56,982 --> 01:18:58,608
Everyone thinks I don't talk.

1383
01:18:58,692 --> 01:18:59,776
But actually,

1384
01:18:59,860 --> 01:19:02,946
I've been pranking my mom
for the past six months.

1385
01:19:03,155 --> 01:19:04,155
JOY: Hello?

1386
01:19:04,281 --> 01:19:06,408
(IN A LOW VOICE)
This is Verizon calling.

1387
01:19:06,492 --> 01:19:08,701
Your phone has been reported faulty

1388
01:19:08,786 --> 01:19:11,830
and needs to be tested by
our voice recognition system.

1389
01:19:12,081 --> 01:19:14,499
Could you please repeat a few phrases?

1390
01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:15,667
Okay.

1391
01:19:15,835 --> 01:19:17,502
I like cheese.

1392
01:19:17,837 --> 01:19:19,671
I Iike cheese?

1393
01:19:20,005 --> 01:19:22,173
My poops are big and hearty.

1394
01:19:22,466 --> 01:19:24,342
My poops... Wait, who is this?

1395
01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:27,887
This is your great-uncle Vindaloo
from Czechoslovakia.

1396
01:19:28,013 --> 01:19:29,055
My who?

1397
01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:32,225
Great-uncle Vindaloo.
Vindaloo. Vindaloo!

1398
01:19:32,643 --> 01:19:35,562
I have moved to Cleveland
and am on my way to your house

1399
01:19:35,688 --> 01:19:37,355
so I can live in the basement.

1400
01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:38,982
I think you have the wrong number.

1401
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:43,361
Joy Desantis?
I'm staring at a photo of you as a baby.

1402
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:44,988
Okay, this is just weird.

1403
01:19:45,698 --> 01:19:46,865
Hello.

1404
01:19:47,533 --> 01:19:48,533
Hello?

1405
01:19:49,827 --> 01:19:50,994
(IN A HIGH VOICE) Hello, dear,

1406
01:19:51,078 --> 01:19:53,705
this is the brassiere
department at Marshalls calling.

1407
01:19:54,206 --> 01:19:56,207
The bras you ordered are here.

1408
01:19:56,542 --> 01:20:00,920
However, they're so small,
we can't seem to find them anywhere.

1409
01:20:01,005 --> 01:20:02,630
You must have very tiny boobs.

1410
01:20:02,715 --> 01:20:04,382
Albert! Is this you?

1411
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:07,218
- (CHUCKLES)
- (FARTS)

1412
01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:09,637
(INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING)

1413
01:21:52,199 --> 01:21:53,658
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

1414
01:25:33,796 --> 01:25:35,546
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)