Pokemon Confessions - Sylveon

I've never been into Pokemon. Not even when I was little and the craze started, and every single one of my friends owned a Charmander or Bulbasaur. Back then, I was the only boy who didn't have even a single Pokeball on his bookshelf. Now, those friends have grown up alongside me, are capturing, evolving, and battling Pokemon daily, winning championships, traveling the world. Everyone I know has at least a passing interest in them, watches the televised matches, discusses stats and movesets with coworkers, or takes care of a relatives Pokemon on occasion. The funny thing is that I don't even have a good reason; I'm not one of those who protests about animal cruelty, or who thinks of the possible damage to the environment from forced evolution of animals, or who argues about exposing children to violence, or wonders if it's possibly slavery depending on the level of sapience of the Pokemon in question.  I just don't care for them at all and never have.

If I had to choose a Pokemon I liked least, it would definitely be Sylveon. I don't like the color pink, but everyone seems to THINK I would because I'm gay. The honest suggestions from good friends about how it would make a perfect Pokemon for me (and the deriding jokes from bad friends about how we're both "fairy type") lasted for months. It was almost as painful as continuing to hear from my uncle about not getting a girlfriend, or from my mother about how she won't have grandchildren. Oh, I hated Sylveon so much for so long, even though I knew nothing about them besides what I saw in pictures.

I live in an apartment complex, alone in a single bedroom unit. The guy who lived across the hall from me was a loud, brutish oaf who obsessed over Pokemon every day of his life. I often heard him yelling at his team about their miserable skills and hammering into their little brains about attack patterns and whatnot. I tried to ignore it for several months, but one day it suddenly got worse. Apparently, one of his Eevees evolved, and he wasn't happy about which one it turned out to be, though I only caught bits and pieces because it had turned from yelling to screaming and throwing things against the wall. He screamed that it wouldn't fight, that it couldn't learn anything. There was something about a "waste of a shiny", which of course I did not understand.

A few days later, I was coming home from work like usual, and as I walked down the hall to my door, I could hear his yelling, like usual. I tried to ignore it. But just as I opened the door, I heard him clearly: "I wanted an Umbreon, not some useless girly thing! I didn't raise you to be like that!"

I stopped, staring into space, squeezing the doorknob in a death-grip. Those words were just like the last things I ever heard from my father, before he kicked me out on the street. I had friends who had gone through the same thing. No person, and no animal should ever have to be disowned because of how they were born. I couldn't look away from this any longer.

Turning around, I faced the other apartment, my teeth grinding in anger. I heard the yelling again, and then a cacophony of thumps and bangs, and then something else: a shrill wailing and crying noise that made my hair stand up on end. The door across the hall flew open, and that was the first time I saw the Sylveon.

He had somehow managed to open the door using one of his ribbons, and jumped into the hallway. I could barely get a look at him except for a flurry of white and blue fur. I had never seen a Sylveon like that before. If my door had been closed, only God knew where he might have ran, but because it was not, he scurried inside and cowered behind me. Across the hall, his owner stood at the doorway, dressed in ratty shorts and a wife beater, and holding a baseball bat over his shoulder.

He seemed uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot, and after a pause, he pointed his bat at me and said: "You best be givin' that thing back to me."

I should have been scared. I should have complied. The man was several inches taller than me and twice my weight, and looked ready to back up his threat. I'm not confrontational. The Sylveon behind me curled into a ball and wailed. He was small like a puppy, and shaking with fear. He was not a THING.

"No," I said, quietly and simply.

"What did'ja say, kid?" he snarled. "You wanna end up just like him?"

I took two steps forward, until the tip of the man's bat nearly rested against my forehead. "Do it," I said, staring him down. "Maybe people turn a blind eye to what you do to your own Pokemon, but I don't think they will if you hit me."

He almost seemed to shrink in front of me, his eyes turning away in cowardice.

"It's a little different when they fight back, isn't it?" I said.

He trembled, more in frustration than anything else, and said: "T- this ain't over! That thing is my property!" before going back into his apartment and slamming the door.

I turned back, letting out my held breath and trying to slow my pounding heartbeat, feeling like I'd just bluffed my way into the top prize at a poker table. I looked down at the little Sylveon, saying: "Whoo, boy. That was a close one. Almost didn't think that would work."

It was the first time I'd gotten a good look at him. His coat was a glistening, shining snow white, accented with a playful, boyish powder-blue, his eyes a pale and vulnerable red like an albino's. I was taken aback. Was that what it meant to be "a shiny"? I also noticed that he must have already been hit, as his muzzle was swollen and bleeding.

I gritted my teeth again, throwing a glare at the door across the hall. "That little piece of—!"

While I was looking away, one of the Sylveon's feelers, slow and hesitant, snaked up and wrapped around my wrist. The shock was immense. I couldn't move. In an instant, it was like I perceived it all. I could feel every ounce of his pain, his fear, his shame at being called a failure. But there was more: his courage, his passion, his intense spirit and will, and above all, a deep feeling of peace and forgiveness. He didn't want me to fight.

"Right," I said. "Guess you aren't very confrontational, either. Well, I should probably take you to a vet, then we can figure out a new home for you."

His ribbon squeezed my arm harder, as if asking me not to go. Kneeling down next to him, I petted him gently, and he nuzzled into my hand.

"Or, I can keep you... for a little while."

"Syl!" he said happily as he walked over and pressed into my chest.

"It'll be okay. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again." I picked him up, just then realizing that he had peed on the linoleum in the entryway and it was now getting all over my shirt. "Crap," I said with a sigh. "Well, at least you aren't pink."

I carried him inside and called up a friend of mine who did Pokemon veterinary work on the side. She could see him immediately, so I drove him over. His ribbon stayed wrapped around my wrist the whole time.


After treating the Sylveon, my friend told me that he'd been through a lot and would be stressed out if adopted to a new home so soon. It would be best if I would (at least temporarily) foster him, since he trusted me and there wasn't anyone else in his life. I agreed to do so, if somewhat reluctantly because I'd never had a pet. She assured me that if I had any questions about how to feed him or care for him, she was just a phone call away. I gave my Sylveon the name "Shin", because it means "new" and he signified a new part of my life... and totally not because it's short for "Shiny" and I'm hopeless with names.

At the time, I didn't know, but my idiot neighbor actually called the cops to report that one of his Pokemon had been stolen. While I was with the vet having Shin looked at, the police came and asked him some questions. His apartment was searched, and he was soon arrested on charges of animal cruelty. All his other Pokemon were confiscated and later adopted out to loving homes. The apartment across the hall is now home to a kindly older lady who thinks me and Shin "look so cute together!" when we come back from walks and his ribbon is around my arm.

Over the months, as Shin grew older and bigger, he continued to stay with me. It became increasingly obvious that this was going to be a permanent arrangement, and he was so needy. My friend spoke of the way Pokemon bond with their masters, and how a very affectionate one like a Sylveon will get stressed out when they are alone. I quit my job and started to work out of home so we could stay together for longer periods. I learned about how to prepare healthy meals for him, and he learned how to use a toilet like a cat (and even flush when done). Gradually, we came to be able to understand each other. He, like a well-trained service dog, could understand many words and commands; and I can understand his various vocalizations and inflections of "Sylveon" and "Shin(y)", to a degree.

It was difficult, because I often sensed a lot more intelligence in him than just another animal. It was as if he had something to say, but didn't have the ability to convey exactly what he wanted. The flood of emotions he could send to me through his ribbons were just feelings, impressions, and images. Some things would have gone a lot smoother if he could just tell me outright, but that was what we had to deal with. The connection between human and Pokemon is a strange thing, so I was told.

I still didn't want much of anything to do with the larger world of Pokemon, but I was willing to swallow this out of deference to my love for him. I would train him, battle him, learn all these silly things about fighting if that was what it would take. But Shin did not want to fight. Oh, certainly, he liked meeting other people and other Pokemon, and playing around. We both made lots of friends traveling to various meetups across the state, but there was no competition to be had. He wants nothing to do with battles; he wants nothing to do with things that aren't me.

But just because he doesn't want to fight doesn't mean he can't.

One day, we were leaving a Pokemon tournament, heading back to the airport. Even though Shin wasn't participating in any battles, the event coordinators would pay good money to have a shiny Sylveon featured. Lots of people wanted to come up and see him, marveling at his pretty and well-groomed fur. He was still nervous being around crowds, but so long as I was near, things were always okay. Even though I'd only made enough cash to cover travel expenses, it was worth it.

Somewhere, we must have taken a wrong turn. Instead of a nice and open city street, we were walking down a dark alleyway. At the end of it were standing a couple of men in nice suits and sunglasses.

"Hey," I called out, suddenly recognizing them. "You're the ones who gave the the directions to the airport. I'm afraid I got lost. Do you know how to get there from here? I'd hate to miss my flight."

One of them smiled, showing a glint from a few teeth that had been replaced with metal, and said: "That's a nice Shiny you've got there. He'd make a pretty penny if you know the right markets. Whad'dya say?" Suddenly, they didn't seem too friendly anymore.

The two of them started to walk towards us, and I could see that one of them had a crowbar, and the other flicked out a switchblade.

"W-wait!" I sputtered.

"Oh, don't worry," said the other guy. "We'll take good care of him. He'll even like it with us! We'll give him lots and lots of Eevees to breed with. Sylveon pups are a goldmine."

Shin stepped forward, and stood in front of me the way I had stood in front of him the day we met. Sometimes I forgot that he wasn't just a little guy anymore; he had grown to the size of a large dog, and even though he had retained the grace and limberness of a feline, was very strong. He brought back a couple of his ribbons to wrap around me. I couldn't help but be reassured, so overwhelming were his feelings of love for me, so powerful was his desire to protect me.

His other ribbons suddenly arced forward, and before my eyes grew to over a dozen feet long, whipping around and tearing gashes into the concrete of the street and the brick of the surrounding buildings. He let out a roar like a lion, and the two men took off running.

I plopped down onto my butt in relief. "Wow! Since when can you do that?"

Being able to grow their feelers and harden them for use like weapons was a technique that usually took a Sylveon a lot of careful training. That Shin had spontaneously gained the ability to do so, just to protect me, was heartwarming. I called him over, petted him and cuddled him. He licked my face, purring. His once-lethal ribbons had become soft like cotton against me.

"Oh, I bet you've been saving that one for just the right time," I said. "I know you!"

"Sylveon!" he said.

He continued to lick me, and I giggled and kissed his muzzle, and then something changed. The emotions I was feeling from him became confused, and then hot and extremely needy. Shin pushed his weight against me, and let out a soft growl, nuzzling at my neck and nibbling at it, almost standing over me. He growled again, and I was confused because I could feel that there wasn't any hostility in his actions.

"What are you doing?"

Shin snapped out of it. Almost looking embarrassed, he walked away a few paces, tail between his legs. One ribbon was left clinging to my arm like a leash. I remembered that he had been growing more mature as well as just growing taller. His "equipment" was hanging big and heavy between his legs as he stood, and I couldn't help but notice.

I let out a sigh and leaned against the cold brick of the nearby wall. "I guess you're growing up, is all. How long have we been together? Almost a couple years now." I could feel the accumulated affection of his memories of those times we spent together. "Maybe you really would like to go off to some place and screw a bunch of Eevee girls?"

He gave me what seemed like a dirty look, but there was something else. I couldn't tell. He was hiding something from me, keeping some feelings from getting through his ribbon.

"Maybe Eevee boys?"

"Syl...," he said quietly. That wasn't it, either; it was stupid of me to try to push my own homosexuality on him like that.

Not sure what to think, I called him over, petted him, and told him we would figure it out, together. For the moment, we had to get un-lost if we still wanted to catch that plane.

After several weeks of trying to find him an appropriate Pokemon mate (male or female), I was at my wit's end. Nothing had worked. He continued being needy and rubbing all over me and generally being a pest, but had rejected every potential mate. I'd even tried letting him court another Shiny Sylveon (having traveled five thousand miles to find one!) but it still didn't work. That Sylveon's master told me it seemed like Shin just wasn't ready to breed yet, because he was holding back his affection and closing out the other Pokemon.

In desperation, I took him to see my friend the veterinarian. Since they knew each other well, Shin had no problem going to the back of the office with her to be examined and get some tests done.

After a few minutes, I heard her calling: "Would you come back here for a second?"

I walked in, sat down, and Shin bounded over and cuddled with me. My friend's expression was blank, and I panicked.

"Oh, God! He's got cancer, or something, right? Right??!"

She shook her head. "Oh, it's nothing like that, you goofball. Just pet him a little bit, okay?"

I did so. As per usual, Shin wrapped his ribbons around and then after a moment nuzzled and licked at my neck.

"Yeah, it's as I suspected," she said.

"What?"

"He's not going for any other Pokemon because he already has a mate."

I couldn't have seen this coming if it were written on a bag of fertilizer and thrown in my face. I stared at the wall in shock.

She went on: "He's chosen you."

My face having gone some horrible shade of grey, I sputtered out claims of innocence like a man suddenly accused of murder. I'd learned a lot about Sylveons, and knew that despite the fact that they tended to be affectionate with their owners, this sort of thing was extremely uncommon. In all documented cases, it was because the Sylveon never had access to potential Pokemon mates, which was easily corrected.

She started to gather up her papers, saying: "Now after all this time, after all you've been through together, I can understand if Shin has these sorts of feelings for you. He's special, as you've told me yourself."

"B-but... I never intended for this to happen!"

"What you intended doesn't seem to matter," she said with a shrug. "It's about what you want. And what he wants. You don't have to act on this, but if you do..." She smiled. "I won't tell anyone."

"Sylveon!" Shin said happily.

We said our goodbyes, and I took him home. Shin climbed up on the couch next to me, trying to make me feel better. I was so confused. While I couldn't deny that my feelings for him were very strong, and even lewd at times, I'd always thought of him as the little pup I rescued in my doorway. I always tried to keep those feelings from growing, to hide them from him, because I knew he could never feel that way toward me.

"Shin?" he said, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry." I petted him and let him rub against me. "I've been treating you like a dog instead of like a, well, like YOU."

He wasn't keeping any of his feelings from leaking through his ribbons anymore. There was so much need and lust that I could practically smell it. I had been such a fool to be so blind to his needs, to what he truly wanted.

"You really are something special. I'll have to do something special for you."

I took him out to all his favorite places around town, let him play in a field until we both were exhausted, and then bought him a fancy new collar. We ate dinner by candlelight, each having steak (though his was of course uncooked as he preferred it). We watched a romantic movie, but both of us were too busy cuddling to pay much attention to it. I let my feelings out, let him understand my real desires from the way I touched him. He did the same. Our connection was strong enough that, through his ribbons, we knew each other's hearts.

I took Shin to the bedroom. Instead of going to his own bed in the corner, he came over to my own as I took off my clothes. I took his collar off, swallowing nervously, trembling. He nuzzled his head into my hand, reassuring me. He was so pretty, and yet so grown up and so mature. He could protect me like I protected him. We had grown to be equals. For the first time, his bare fur touched my bare skin, and nothing had ever felt so right.

I licked his muzzle, he licked my face. He bit my neck to signify his claiming me as his mate, and I reluctantly did the same to him. For our first time, I insisted that he be on top, and he insisted that I lay on my back on the edge of the bed so we could hold each other. His canine-like knot inside me kept us tied together for about a half-hour, but his ribbons wrapped around me kept us tied together until morning.


Our relationship really hasn't changed. We do the same things we've always done for 23 hours of each day, just the remainder we spend embracing in physical as well as emotional joy. We breed each other, loudly and like animals at times, but the most appropriate term I can come up with for this is "lovemaking". I don't understand why people find this to be taboo, because it's so pure and beautiful; our love burns the brightest when we're connected both mind and body. Maybe it's because Shin is different, or maybe it's just because he's my mate.

I've never been into Pokemon, but finally I understand why some others are.