shitcunt big time 2

AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 9:17 AM
You left the clovis group discord chat aww
honk - Last Saturday at 11:18 AM
yeah im not comfortable speaking too much rn
(pic of neverlose talking to me)
he's been talking to me all of yday/today missing you and slurms also mentioned what's up. is neverlose aware or is he going to hurt really bad
i haven't said anything but damn this feels really bad
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:27 AM
Yeah
He's been slugging a bit but no sketchy business
honk - Last Saturday at 11:28 AM


(i put a pic here of slurms confessing, so she just tried to fucking lie to me)


:no_mouth:
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:28 AM
Yea
Gah
I'm not really sure what to say other than assure you he hasn't done any sexual stuff :x
honk - Last Saturday at 11:33 AM
I still don't think that makes it okay
I don't know what slurms considers fooling around but if airship even kissed someone I'd be damn hurt
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:35 AM
There was a lot of groping my chest and kissing, you're right, it's kinda not good ack
honk - Last Saturday at 11:35 AM
kinda not good
anime he's going to be destroyed
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:36 AM
I've been talking to him too
honk - Last Saturday at 11:36 AM
yeah he didn't sleep last night worrying
i slept at 1am and he still couldn't sleep at 6 his time worrying about you
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:37 AM
God, maybe I have seriously fucked up
I was quite drunk last night
honk - Last Saturday at 11:42 AM
idk but holy damn i am not feeling good about this
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:43 AM
Yea I'm mulling over it and I think you're right
Taking with him about it now
honk - Last Saturday at 11:43 AM
like neverlose
even if he had agreed to an open relationship anime
its his first time in one and he's not what i'd call stable enough emotionally to sustain it
also thats why open relationships have boundaries
because you're meant to ask before you play
do you really think he was gonna be okay with you and slurms of all people
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:46 AM
It's not fair to him
Neverlose that is
honk - Last Saturday at 11:46 AM
yes
as soon as slurms said something i felt sick to my stomach so i hope you're going to be honest with him
forbidden knowledge is pretty dogshit
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 11:47 AM
Yeah I have been
honk - Last Saturday at 11:47 AM
if you want slurms then by all means go for it
but please don't do it with neverlose hanging off you anymore
honk - Last Saturday at 1:37 PM
thanks for at least being honest w him, i really didnt want to be in the middle of it(edited)
AnimeCartoon - Last Saturday at 1:45 PM
Ya
That'd be bad
honk - Last Saturday at 1:46 PM
felt p shitty having forbidden info etc lol
December 3, 2017
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:11 PM
Honk I'm a monster
I'm a psychopath
honk - Last Sunday at 11:11 PM
ill look after neverlose
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:11 PM
I deserve death
honk - Last Sunday at 11:11 PM
noone does, but idk how much i can really get behind this whole thing
i think im more pissed off at slurms
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:12 PM
It takes two to tango honk
honk - Last Sunday at 11:12 PM
im aware
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:12 PM
He's too pure, too innocent for shit like me
I destroyed him
honk - Last Sunday at 11:13 PM
i think yeah he didn't deserve this at all
yep
hes at the hospital rn because his dad got sick as well, so he's not having the best time
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:13 PM
Oh christ
honk - Last Sunday at 11:13 PM
i think there was def miscommunication because he yeah
knew you'd fooled around with other people but was alright with it
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:13 PM
I want to talk to him but I'm scared
honk - Last Sunday at 11:13 PM
this kinda thing though is just yeah
pretty evil
maybe not evil but extremely selfish
i think youre best just leaving him be right now
i dont think you can contact him regardless
apart from yeah his phone
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:14 PM
He unblocked me but I dare not break the ice
honk - Last Sunday at 11:15 PM
he needs time
he wants to forgive you eventually
he's spent all of his time thinking about how this could've happened and how he wants to forgive
i think he could forgive you but frankly i dont think he should be forgiving slurms
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:17 PM
I'm fucking stupid
Honk the really scary thing
honk - Last Sunday at 11:17 PM
yeah id agree what you did was extremely stupid
men like neverlose are an extreme rarity
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:17 PM
Please don't tell this to him
honk - Last Sunday at 11:17 PM
i wont, itll prob hurt him anyway
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:18 PM
Actually nevermind
Aaah
Why am I making excuses
honk - Last Sunday at 11:18 PM
i dont mind if you're really polyamorous
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:18 PM
There are no excuses
honk - Last Sunday at 11:18 PM
but next time you need to ask before you play
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:18 PM
I am
Ya
honk - Last Sunday at 11:18 PM
straight up
if you'd asked neverlose can you mess with slurms he would've said no, so that's there really
i have to ask and don't say i asked you this
were you both going to tell him if i hadn't found out because of slurms' big mouth
that's where my mind wanders to
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:19 PM
I was absolutely going to
honk - Last Sunday at 11:19 PM
im glad then
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:19 PM
So this had happened before
I lost my virginity to a trans girl
God
Lemme go even further back
honk - Last Sunday at 11:20 PM
ill just say this, i think this scenario was extremely shit, selfish and pretty manipulative from where im coming from
but at the same time i think you're going through a fuckload right now
nor the most mentally stable (no offense)
hence i think you can be forgiven
slurms is just a gross selfish asshole
and i made it very clear how neverlose felt about you to him and how he didnt really know/think you guys were open or it was a bad idea. the fact even after i showed him something neverlose said and he planned to keep pursuing you
pretty unforgivable to me frankly
i think your remorse is genuine
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:22 PM
I uh
I cried harder than I can ever remember last night
I was soaking my clothes
honk - Last Sunday at 11:23 PM
yeah, i bet
i left airship mid year and wanted to die
idk
i have no idea how you fix this really
or how neverlose picks himself back up from this, apart from time
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:23 PM
Honk I need an honest opinion from you on something
honk - Last Sunday at 11:23 PM
whats up
if you want honesty you got it lol
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:24 PM
Neverlose's affection for me often felt like
Borderline obsession
honk - Last Sunday at 11:24 PM
are you asking if that was the case from my pov?
from what i know of him talking to you and me
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:25 PM
I talked in anonymous terms about the behavior I saw with some other friends and they told me it was probably obsession and thus the relationship was destined to fail
And
It scares me and makes me wonder just how badly he's broken
honk - Last Sunday at 11:25 PM
he wasnt obsessed with you
thats love
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:26 PM
I think it's Pretty Fucking Bad
honk - Last Sunday at 11:26 PM
i never saw any harmful signs/obsessive signs from him
he just loved you alot
you had a very fucking rare thing from him
you're gonna struggle to find someone who genuinely would put you before themselves like he has for you again
and accepts anything about you
he was talking like airship would about me
or doublestep about pet
about you
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:27 PM
Gosh I'm so fucking retarded
honk - Last Sunday at 11:27 PM
like
i found out friday night from slurms
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:27 PM
A moments of drinks, some warm hands, a broken heart
honk - Last Sunday at 11:27 PM
i knew he had his eyes on you and was trying to go for it
i warned him off it
you sobered up according to him and got heavy, i found out a bit after it happened
i went to neverlose and asked him a bit about you both to fish for information to decide wether or not you guys were truly open
he talked about wanting to get you out of the US
how he didnt like your sleep/eating and wants you to live healthier
he talked about the upcoming trip
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:29 PM
I still haven't canceled the tickets
honk - Last Sunday at 11:29 PM
he talked about wanting to do GOOD by you damnit
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:29 PM
It hurts too much
honk - Last Sunday at 11:29 PM
he literally wanted to support you because he knows how hard you work
how stressed your job makes you
he wanted to make it so you could retire early
or take breaks
thats not obsessive
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:29 PM
I'm a fucking idiot
honk - Last Sunday at 11:29 PM
thats the talk of someone who wants to build their life with you
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:30 PM
I'm garbage
honk - Last Sunday at 11:30 PM
not just suck and fuck once
thats "hey i want to settle down"
idm if that doesnt align with you
it just shouldve been clear from the start and something you both talked about
so next time you speak to him or have a new relationship please let this be a lesson to you about boundaries needing to be drawn
and the rules and needs laid out flat
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:31 PM
Yes
honk - Last Sunday at 11:31 PM
ive been in an open relationship, airship and i were poly before we settled down
i know where you're coming from
but not communicating those things is just where it all goes to shit
and playing with someone close to either of you is Bad Shit
i dunno
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:33 PM
I still want to go see him
I feel like I shouldn't though
I need to give him space
honk - Last Sunday at 11:33 PM
id say you need to bring that up but be prepared for him to possibly reject that
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:33 PM
Yea
honk - Last Sunday at 11:33 PM
he fell asleep with airship lastn ight
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:33 PM
I'm ok with that
honk - Last Sunday at 11:33 PM
he made airship sit on the phone and talk to him all night
i joined for a bit
he was cancelling a bunch of the stuff you were going to do together on the phone and broke down
so yeah it's bad
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:34 PM
Oh god
honk - Last Sunday at 11:34 PM
airship's extremely good at keeping me chill because damn
i wanted to wring your and slurms' necks myself
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:34 PM
This makes my stomach writhe and sends shivers down my spine
I'd wring my neck
honk - Last Sunday at 11:35 PM
whoever told you that his behaviour was obsessive
is fucking stupid
and never been with anyone good for them
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:35 PM
Maybe I should wring my neck
honk - Last Sunday at 11:35 PM
dont break his heart even more than it is
you know thats not going to help
you have amends to make to him in this life lol
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:36 PM
I guess so
I
honk - Last Sunday at 11:36 PM
sorry if i'm sounding cunty or too frank
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:36 PM
I'm so stupid
honk - Last Sunday at 11:36 PM
i really hate being nasty but damn am i pissed lol
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:36 PM
No I need it
I need this
honk - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
again i think you're not right in the head atm
but slurms is a piece of shit
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
I need it in my face from people I care
It has to be real
honk - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
is he still at your place
hope he knows just the damage he's done
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
Sigh
honk - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
idk if i can bring myself to speak to him again
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
He is yes, he knows
He's very guilty
honk - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
he's dead to doublestep
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:37 PM
He's drinking a lot
honk - Last Sunday at 11:38 PM
as for me idk
i knew he was selfish
but i told him straight one of the things i did love about him was that he protected his friends although sometimes irrationally
this just completely shattered that and went below the belt
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:39 PM
I think he's more shaken than he let on
honk - Last Sunday at 11:39 PM
good
he's a moron
i tried to stop this
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:39 PM
Slurms was quite drunk
But I was sober
honk - Last Sunday at 11:39 PM
see thats the thing, he was dumb enough to say you were both sober
so frankly i dont know who i believe out of the two of you
nor do i really care that much
drink or not, no excuse
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:39 PM
Ya
honk - Last Sunday at 11:41 PM
idk
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:41 PM
I wish I could put into words how guilty I feel. I'm so terrified for his well-being
I was really afraid he'd hurt himself
honk - Last Sunday at 11:41 PM
he'll be alright
no
he knows doublestep and i will fucking never forgive him for that
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:42 PM
No I mean neverlose
honk - Last Sunday at 11:42 PM
teag
yeah
we know
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:43 PM
I'll try to message him tomorrow
Maybe
Don't know
Probably not
Would am I kidding
Wymhy should he trust me
I wouldn't trust me, in his shoes
honk - Last Sunday at 11:44 PM
yeah honestly i wouldnt either but again
i think this is somewhat of a weird case hoenstly
i dont think you're of sound mind (no offense again)
you're going through alot
i think slurms thought with his dick more than his heart
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:45 PM
For now I will content myself that he's alive and eating and talking
That's barely consolation but it's enough for tonight
Please take care of him and I dearly appreciate all the work you and doublestep have put in
honk - Last Sunday at 11:46 PM
yeah no worries
i drew him an akko and talked with him some more
only times gonna help
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:47 PM
I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now so good night and thanks again
honk - Last Sunday at 11:47 PM
im not sure what the right decision is anywhere tbh
prior to this i had it in my head you were just evil frankly, but not after this
you're human
we make mistakes
and if you're showing true remorse then i think things can eventually be at peace
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:48 PM
I'm a monster honk I'm not human
honk - Last Sunday at 11:48 PM
rest easy alright
you're not a monster anime
i think you're just troubled
AnimeCartoon - Last Sunday at 11:48 PM
I'm a cheating whore
Let's not play with words
honk - Last Sunday at 11:50 PM
im not
or i wouldve been frank with you
ive been frank i think you're pretty fucked but i dont think you're a monster lol
December 4, 2017
honk - Yesterday at 1:13 AM
i still think give neverlose space for now but time heals all. hope you can manage to get past this and learn from this as well. Going to bed, gn
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:41 AM
I'm so scared
I'm so worried about him
And I feel powerless to help
My actions we're what hurt him, like an ogre trying to pick up a butterfly
honk - Yesterday at 8:42 AM
well yeah
you just need to leave him alone now lol
nothing you can do
literally nothing any of us can do
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:43 AM
I hate myself more than anything in the world
Fuuuuck
honk - Yesterday at 8:47 AM
idk
only thing that's gonna do everyone any good in this case is time
and space
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:49 AM
I'm fucked in the head
honk - Yesterday at 8:49 AM
literally anything you say to him right now will drive him frantic
and not for his sake but yours
literal opposite thing anyone wants is you both not talking in a rational state
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:50 AM
I'm a steaming pile of sociopathic shit
honk - Yesterday at 8:51 AM
Don't think you're a sociopath but definitely not smart this time
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:51 AM
I thought on your words overnight
He really was one in a million
honk - Yesterday at 8:52 AM
yeah
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:52 AM
Didn't sleep well
honk - Yesterday at 8:52 AM
that kind of love and acceptance is something you weren't gonna ever get out of slurms
or maybe you would, dunno
as a person who turned slurms down due to his selfishness I can tell you I'm definitely not regretting that rn
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:55 AM
What a catastrophe
God
honk - Yesterday at 8:55 AM
yeah idk what y'all were thinking
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:56 AM
There were kisses and hands down my shirt and my brain decided this was a fair exchange for real, tangible love
And I was gonna visit him in 8 days
honk - Yesterday at 8:57 AM
yeah
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:57 AM
Turning him from Internet lover to real
Why am I so unspeakably retarded
honk - Yesterday at 8:57 AM
Well, you certainly did with one lol
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 8:58 AM
I fucked it all up
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 9:00 AM
I'm sure you're talking to him by now and I'm probably stealing your attention from him, taking it away from a broken soul to feed the little lump of coal that is my heart
honk - Yesterday at 9:19 AM
no
im showering and going out irl
neverlose finally got to sleep so not gonna wake him lol
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 9:50 AM
I'm so mad at myself
What a heartless asshole I am
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 9:56 PM
I want to send a message to him about plane tickets but I'm blocked
U-um.... I wanted to let you know I decided not to cancel the plane tickets to Toronto and will still be heading there Saturday (unless you really want me to stay way the fuck away from you). If you are so inclined, we could find a day to talk together--if things go south you could just as easily disassociate. You have absolutely no obligation to pick me up or meet me or even respond to this message if you don't want to, and I totally understand. I figure at the very least I ought to take the chance to talk to En about how I'm a stupid fucking moron
I guess it serves me right
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 10:01 PM
This hurts my chest, I really want to talk
But I deserve it
honk - Yesterday at 10:20 PM
sorry i dont think i can in good conscience send this
AnimeCartoon - Yesterday at 10:22 PM
Ya, sorry, I didn't mean to imply you should, if was more of an airing of grievances
I'm trash
honk - Yesterday at 10:28 PM
yea idk, im not gonna send him anything thats gonna harm him
also dont go to toronto
bad idea
honk - Yesterday at 11:59 PM
neverlose - Today at 11:56 PM
it hit me pretty hard and I could barely believe it
And I kinda just
Well I forgot actually.  But in any case I can't see her
I really want her to cancel the tickets
December 5, 2017
honk - Today at 12:00 AM
he already apparently had someone tell him
neverlose - Yesterday at 11:59 PM
I want her to know asap honestly
that she needs to cancel them
I would take it badly
neverlose - Today at 12:01 AM
just tell her the same things you guys tell me, right
Just leave me alone and I'll leave her alone
NEW MESSAGES
neverlose - Today at 12:02 AM
Try to get better
And when I'm ready
she can contact me
please respect this
AnimeCartoon - Today at 5:26 AM
I understand
honk - Today at 2:34 PM
are you around, he wants to talk
AnimeCartoon - Today at 3:30 PM
I'm in bad shape now. Trying to get the will to cancel the tickets. Been unable to focus on work and trying to forget it all
I don't think it'd be good
honk - Today at 3:31 PM
sec
hes making up his mind
he said he's going home first but he'd like to
but only if you want to, he's not going to force it
honk - Today at 7:51 PM
he's going to doxx you
yeah as the fuck if, you actual psycho cunt
keep playing the fucking victim in your own fucked up little mind, you're actually fucking nuts