Thread 34: Stories 16-30

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>Screwloose
“Tinsel”
_______

She took a small bite, and cringed so hard her entire body shook.

>Thish ish fucking terrible….

Another bite.

>Really. I can’t even count how many subjects I lost during trial experiments but this… this right here? This is the substance that really kills. These… donuts.

Her stomach was rumbling in protest, already compressed by the straightjacket and now being fed this corroded dough ball of sugar.

>Ugh….

“Just answer me this, Screws. Why in Celestia’s name are you eating this thing if it’s making you sick?”

She took another piece into her mouth, pausing with an upwards glance as if praying for help before slowly chewing.

>B-because… ulp… the pervert left.. he leeeeh-… l-left it behind and oh God I’m gonna be sick!

“NOT OVER MY UNIFORM!”

>You’re not even ali- BLAAAAAARGH!

“Praise Celestia… went right through me.”
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>Berry Punch
~~~~
Security guards escort Berry Punch off a ride.
>Why are you doing this? Isn't this Equestria? I'm sorry, I thought this was Equestria!

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>Idris
"Rekulk"

>Ahhh, yes, yes yes yes, here we are, well and true Hawkstead Mead. You're in for a treat you...weird fellow. This is definitely the good stuff, before long you'll be out of your mind and singing songs of your homeland!

"Aha oho, then I must drink! The songs of my homeland are wondrous indeed!"

>...are they all like your little sister's nursery rhyme?

"Most, yes, why?"

>BARKEEP! WATER AND WATER ONLY FOR MY FRIEND HERE!

"Hurrah!"
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Non-canon

>Two
“Arana”
‘Vekir’
_______

>Alright, y’all mugs-

“Mugs of what…?”

‘WE WISH TO TRADE FOR THESE MUGS! WHERE IS OURS?”

>No, thas’ just an excision!

“Oooooh, my mom- SCIDERELLA, I mean! Sh-she did excisions all the time!”

>I… I don’t think I used the right word… I just wanted to say that y’all two been musclin’ in on mah cuteness!

‘So there will be no mugs to trade for…?’

>I’m sorry, Vekky.

‘Oh…’

>But we can find some!

“Or I can knit some up!”

‘Th-then we make trades?’

>Of course! I don’t see why not! Let’s go get those mugs!

“‘Yaaaay!’”
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Non-canon sillyness
>2
"Brain"
'???'
~~~~~~~~

>Ah'm tellin' ya, we just gotta go through that building, and then we're gonna see Shiny on the other side!

"I don't knoooow, how do we know he's on the other side?"

>Trust me, ya' just gotta believe! It's like the portal to Tarnia!

"I thought that was just a closet."

>YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU CAN'T READ!

"Oh, right..."

'You are now thinking about how Cadence looks with a-'

>Wait, who's that?

"Who's wha-AHHHH! STRANGER DANGER!"

'What the hell!?'

>There's a stranger in my brain!

"I need an adult brain!"

>"AHHHHHH!"

'Aw, crap! Sorry! Sorry, looking for 42, I'm sorry, I must've taken a wrong turn somewhere, sorry!'

>Don't scare me like that! That's mean!

'I'm sorry! Jeez!'

*Door opening and closing sound*

>Rude!

"That brain ain't got no manners!"

>We gotta get Shiny to ground her!

"Yeah!"

>...What were we doing?

"Running to the left?"

>TO THE LEFT!
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Non-Canon
>2
"Brain"
'???'
~~~~~~

>Ah'm tellin' ya', I just need ta' start a fire. That always gets Shiny a commin'!

"That sounds dangerous."

>For us?

"...Yeah, I see your-"

*SLAM!*

'FREEEEDOM!'

>Shiny!

"Why's his voice all high pitched?"

'At last I'm free! Alien babes, I am here to service your needs at last!'

>...Shiny?

'Wait, hold up, you're not the one with the big... uh, you know!'

"What's wrong with him?"

>Shiny! It's me, Two! Don't ya remember!? DID THE ASPARAGUS PONIES TAKE YER BRAIN!? YA' GOTTA REMEMBER THE PAPERWORK, SHINY!

'...'

"Member!? You adopted us!"

'ADOPTED!?... I'm... I'M A DAD NOW?! NOOOOOO! NO NO NO NOOOOO! IT'S TOO LATE! IT'S! TOO! LAAAATE! I'm all boring and sad now, like Dad is! I JUST DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE!'

*Rocket sound*

>...

"...I don't think that was Shiny."

>Got mah' doubts, yeah.
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Also Non-canon
>2
"Brain"
'???'
~~~
>ohhh! Plushies!

"Wait, Two! We gots ta focus on findin' Shiny-"

'Oh, hey, Two's brain. And Two.'

>"Hi, Spike's Brain!'

"What'cha doin' here?"

'Oh, you know how it is when I'm by myself. my mind tends to wander!'
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Extra-super non-canon
>2
"Brain"
[???]
~~~~~~

>...Hrm... ya' think I can wibble at reality?

"Yer' playin' with dangerous powers, me!"

[Alright, buddy! This battle is going to be the hardest of your life... kind of. Not really since it's all a dream, but so long as you remember what I said you can get your body back!]

>But I like my body!

[...OH CRAP! How the heck did I end up here!? SCREW YOU, HIVEMIND THAT MAKES NO SENSE!]

>...

[...IGNOOOORRREEE ME!]

>Kay.

"Can we try going right?"

>MADNESS! LEFT I SAY!
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NC
>42's Brain
"Shiny's 14YO self"
'Spike's Brain'
~~~
>so, wait, then how did you two do it?

"My foul will is contagious! Bow before me hot alien babe and prepare your an-"

MIND PUNCH!

>You know, it's still weirdly hot to think that Shiny overcame this to become what he is. Still, what about you, kiddo?

'all dragons have limit psychic powers.'

>Really?

'No. I have no idea how I'm doing this. I just know Spike wanted me gone for a bit so he can deliberately humiliate himself in such a way it attracts his friends.'

>That's... kind of a dumb idea,

'He listened to mental pinkie pie.'

>That explains everything.
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>"My foul will is contagious! Bow before me hot alien babe and prepare your an-"
>Shiny's teenager brain talks like a zebra.
>Implications

------

>That unfortunate gangster stage

>Somewhere, hidden in their parents house, is a "music video" he made.

>He has a loaded gun ready and waiting in case anyone should ever stumble across it.

>He's not sure who is going to die, but someone is.

------

>He did it with Spike
>it was something like...
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkUvmDQ3HY

-------

>Also did it with Cadence.
---------
>....These lyics seem mean, and weird.
"This is the newest couple thing right now, dont worry about it!
>Alright, i do want to be hip and "with it".
"That's the spirit! But nobody says that anymore."
>Oh be quiet and lets do this before i change my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN9MLa9q2Gc
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>Chrysalis
"18"
'???'
~~~~~

>...

"Okay, you're getting creepy now."

>I'm perfectly calm, 18. Perfectly. Calm.

"Is that why you are glowing?"

>That is the glow of calm. Don't you just feel the serenity coming off of me?

"I feel the cancer coming off of you, actually."

>You can't feel cancer.

"...I'm pretty sure that's not true."

>We'll have to ask what's his face when I find them.

"You can't... can you actually give someone cancer? Is that a power you have?"

>Maybe.

"...I don't like the answer to-"

'GAH!'

>...

"...Cadence, what the heck are you doing?"

'YOU DIDN'T SEE ME!'

>Oh, okay. Hey, invisible Cadence, get the hell out of my way.

'I'M NOT EVEN HERE! IGNORE ME!'

>If you insist.

'I do-'

*CRUNCH!*

'OWOWOWOWOW! MY HOOF!'

>My, what an oddly invisible bump in my way, wouldn't you say, 18?

"You brought that on yourself."

>18, please, stop talking to yourself. We have work to do, do we not?

'OW! OWWWWWWW!... eeeee... why is my hoof glowing?'

"..."

>Come along, 18.

"Moment my hair starts falling out, I'm bailing. I swear."

>If you say so.

'...Am I going to die?'

>I don't know why, but I suddenly have the urge to say "Probably!", isn't that weird, 18?
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NON-CANON
>???
"???"
~~~~~~

>...I sense it.

"What?"

>A... a need. Souls calling out for a hero!

"...Are those ponies glowing?"

>Souls that cry out in pain yet to come. I sense the lives to be lost, the time and suffering that will soon consume them all! I feel their need, THEY HUNGER FOR A HERO!

"...Twilight, what are you-"

>THEY HUNGER FOR MY... CANCER PUNCH!

"...So does that GIVE ponies cancer, or-"

>AAAAAAATATATATATATATATTATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA
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NC

>So, shiny, how'd you get that scar under your left eye anyway?

"Uh..."

~~~~~~~

"What's up, my zigga!?"

~~~~~~~~~

"...Training accident."

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>Bonbon
"Lyra"
~~~~~~~

>...Soooo...

"...."

>...You think we're missing anything important?

"Probably not."

>Wanna... do those funny things we do?

"Like you switching voices or me talking about my human stuff?"

>Yeah.

"...Neh, not feeling it."

>Not really all that interesting, is it?

"..."

>...

"...Are we gay?"

>I have no idea.
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>Cheese Sandwich
"Octavia"
'???'
~~~
>So, we really think Party Land's World's Fair could benefit from your music. You know, part of Canterlot's high society cultural thing.

"Ugh... Themepark jobs, I feel like I'm scrapping the bottom of the barrel..."

>Here's your advanced payment.

"And I find the bottom contains gold. Where do I sign?"

>Right here, I need to bring in the next girl for her interview.

"Go right ahead-"

Vinyl Scratch walks in and locks eyes with Octavia

"YOU?!"

'We meet again, motherfucker.'
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