Rapa, the rock shooter

You are Rapa, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork
 and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see a man
 named Roldan who is looking for work. He asks you if you want to go get some
 food together
> join Roldan

"I'm not hungry," you say. "Let's go".

Roldan nods. "Good idea," he says. "We'll be back soon".

A few days later, you find yourself at the edge of a forest where you meet Roldan
 again
> look at the sky

The sun has set and it is time to leave this place. The two of you walk towards
 the edge of the forest. Suddenly, Roldan stops you. "What do you think?" he
 asks.

> pick up a rock

You take out your pickaxe and start bashing away at some rocks. Roldan looks
 on with interest. "It's not working!" he exclaims.
> bash harder

You continue to smash the rocks until they break into small pieces. Then, you
 throw them all at Roldan. He catches most of them, but one lands on his head.
 It hurts like ****, but he doesn't seem to mind
> examine the rocks for precious metals

You keep smashing the rocks until you finally come across something that resembles
 gold. You pick it up and put it in your pocket. You then turn around and run
 off as fast as you can.
As you're running, you hear a voice calling after you.
> stop and turn around

You stop and turn around. A young man stands before you. His face is dirty and
 covered in dirt. He wears rags and looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. He
 holds a stick in his hand and looks very lost.

> kick his stick

You kick the young man's stick. He falls down and screams.
> help him back up and offer his stick back

You help him back up and give him your stick. He takes it gratefully and thanks
 you. He runs over to you and hugs you. You smile and return the hug. You tell
 him to stay here and wait for you while you go get food from the nearest village
> kick his stick and get him food

You kick his stick and get him food. He thanks you and runs off. You go back
 to the village and eat a lot of food. After eating, you feel better and decide
 to rest. When you wake up, you notice that you've gained weight
> do a training montage about losing weight

You do a training montage about losing weight. You also make sure to keep up
 your strength training routine. Soon, you lose weight and become more muscular
 than ever.
After gaining enough confidence, you decide to move on to the next step..
> grow a giant beard

You grow a giant beard. You don't know why, but you just want to show everyone
 how much you've changed. You spend hours every day shaving your beard and growing
 it longer. Eventually, you grow it so long that you can barely see your own
 hands in front of your face
> hide rocks inside the beard

You hide rocks inside the beard. You keep doing this for months until eventually
 you reach the size of a mountain. People begin to wonder what the **** you're
 hiding. One day, you suddenly remember that you forgot to shave your beard.
 You quickly rush to the bathroom and shave your beard
> this time, hide a cannon inside the beard as well

You hide a cannon inside the beard. You hide it in such a way that no one will
 be able to find it. You hide it in the same spot where you hid the cannon. You
 hide it in such a way that nobody will be able to find it
> go to the market and stealthily start shooting rocks out of the beard cannon

You sneak to the market and stealthily start shooting rocks out of the beard
 cannon. You manage to shoot several rocks before someone notices. They call
 out to you and you run off. You hide behind a tree and wait for someone to pass
 by. Someone does and you fire the cannon
> The rock hits my dear brother

You fire the cannon and hit your brother. He screams and falls to the ground.
 You laugh maniacally and run off. You hide behind a tree and wait for someone
 to pass by. Someone passes by and you fire the cannon again. This time, you
 hit the king. He dies instantly
> Apologize to the ghost of the king

You apologize to the ghost of the king. You thank him for saving your life and
 promise to always remember him. You run off and hide for awhile. Finally, you
 decide to go to the nearest village. You go there and ask for food
> Tell the villages about the time you shot rocks out of your beard

You tell the villages about the time you shot rocks out of your beard. You explain
 that you were trying to save your brother from being killed by a cannon when
 you ran into the woods. You tell them that the king was actually a ghost and
 that he had saved your life
> Graciously accept their praise

You graciously accept their praise. You thank them for saving your life and run
 off. You hide for awhile and eventually, you find a woman who looks exactly
 like your sister. She tells you she wants to marry you. You agree and kiss her.
 You live happily ever after that way
 CONGRATS YOU WIN