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Rapa, the rock shooter

a guest Dec 6th, 2019 138 Never
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  1. You are Rapa, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork
  2.  and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see a man
  3.  named Roldan who is looking for work. He asks you if you want to go get some
  4.  food together
  5. > join Roldan
  6.  
  7. "I'm not hungry," you say. "Let's go".
  8.  
  9. Roldan nods. "Good idea," he says. "We'll be back soon".
  10.  
  11. A few days later, you find yourself at the edge of a forest where you meet Roldan
  12.  again
  13. > look at the sky
  14.  
  15. The sun has set and it is time to leave this place. The two of you walk towards
  16.  the edge of the forest. Suddenly, Roldan stops you. "What do you think?" he
  17.  asks.
  18.  
  19. > pick up a rock
  20.  
  21. You take out your pickaxe and start bashing away at some rocks. Roldan looks
  22.  on with interest. "It's not working!" he exclaims.
  23. > bash harder
  24.  
  25. You continue to smash the rocks until they break into small pieces. Then, you
  26.  throw them all at Roldan. He catches most of them, but one lands on his head.
  27.  It hurts like ****, but he doesn't seem to mind
  28. > examine the rocks for precious metals
  29.  
  30. You keep smashing the rocks until you finally come across something that resembles
  31.  gold. You pick it up and put it in your pocket. You then turn around and run
  32.  off as fast as you can.
  33. As you're running, you hear a voice calling after you.
  34. > stop and turn around
  35.  
  36. You stop and turn around. A young man stands before you. His face is dirty and
  37.  covered in dirt. He wears rags and looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. He
  38.  holds a stick in his hand and looks very lost.
  39.  
  40. > kick his stick
  41.  
  42. You kick the young man's stick. He falls down and screams.
  43. > help him back up and offer his stick back
  44.  
  45. You help him back up and give him your stick. He takes it gratefully and thanks
  46.  you. He runs over to you and hugs you. You smile and return the hug. You tell
  47.  him to stay here and wait for you while you go get food from the nearest village
  48. > kick his stick and get him food
  49.  
  50. You kick his stick and get him food. He thanks you and runs off. You go back
  51.  to the village and eat a lot of food. After eating, you feel better and decide
  52.  to rest. When you wake up, you notice that you've gained weight
  53. > do a training montage about losing weight
  54.  
  55. You do a training montage about losing weight. You also make sure to keep up
  56.  your strength training routine. Soon, you lose weight and become more muscular
  57.  than ever.
  58. After gaining enough confidence, you decide to move on to the next step..
  59. > grow a giant beard
  60.  
  61. You grow a giant beard. You don't know why, but you just want to show everyone
  62.  how much you've changed. You spend hours every day shaving your beard and growing
  63.  it longer. Eventually, you grow it so long that you can barely see your own
  64.  hands in front of your face
  65. > hide rocks inside the beard
  66.  
  67. You hide rocks inside the beard. You keep doing this for months until eventually
  68.  you reach the size of a mountain. People begin to wonder what the **** you're
  69.  hiding. One day, you suddenly remember that you forgot to shave your beard.
  70.  You quickly rush to the bathroom and shave your beard
  71. > this time, hide a cannon inside the beard as well
  72.  
  73. You hide a cannon inside the beard. You hide it in such a way that no one will
  74.  be able to find it. You hide it in the same spot where you hid the cannon. You
  75.  hide it in such a way that nobody will be able to find it
  76. > go to the market and stealthily start shooting rocks out of the beard cannon
  77.  
  78. You sneak to the market and stealthily start shooting rocks out of the beard
  79.  cannon. You manage to shoot several rocks before someone notices. They call
  80.  out to you and you run off. You hide behind a tree and wait for someone to pass
  81.  by. Someone does and you fire the cannon
  82. > The rock hits my dear brother
  83.  
  84. You fire the cannon and hit your brother. He screams and falls to the ground.
  85.  You laugh maniacally and run off. You hide behind a tree and wait for someone
  86.  to pass by. Someone passes by and you fire the cannon again. This time, you
  87.  hit the king. He dies instantly
  88. > Apologize to the ghost of the king
  89.  
  90. You apologize to the ghost of the king. You thank him for saving your life and
  91.  promise to always remember him. You run off and hide for awhile. Finally, you
  92.  decide to go to the nearest village. You go there and ask for food
  93. > Tell the villages about the time you shot rocks out of your beard
  94.  
  95. You tell the villages about the time you shot rocks out of your beard. You explain
  96.  that you were trying to save your brother from being killed by a cannon when
  97.  you ran into the woods. You tell them that the king was actually a ghost and
  98.  that he had saved your life
  99. > Graciously accept their praise
  100.  
  101. You graciously accept their praise. You thank them for saving your life and run
  102.  off. You hide for awhile and eventually, you find a woman who looks exactly
  103.  like your sister. She tells you she wants to marry you. You agree and kiss her.
  104.  You live happily ever after that way
  105.  CONGRATS YOU WIN
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