Thread 4: Stories 46-60

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 >Applejack
"Shining Armor"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>WAKE UP YA' LAZY SOD!

"NNNRK! HUH-Wha-buh!? Who'zzare!?... Oh, hey Jackie."

>....Don't ya'll buckin' dare.

"Oh, what, we've got a problem with nicknames now? Tell you what, the moment 'Shiny' leaves circulation, 'Jackie' will go join it in the pile of forgotten namesakes."

>Ah' came ta' check in and see how ya'll are doin'. Didn't believe Ah'd find ya'll nappin' at two in the afternoon! Look at this place, it's a mess!

"It's mostly just paperwork."

>And what the hay is with those dust markings? Did ya' just get bored cleanin' the walls halfway?

"No, uh, those are where the papers used to be at."

>...Oh. That... that's actually pretty impressive. But ya'll are still sleepin' on the job!

"Well I'm sorry! We didn't all get a magic powerup to increase our already biologically enhanced stamina, and us mortals have to just make due with our sad, normal bodies and last for as long as we can before time takes it's toll and we collapse."

>...It ain't like that.

"Sorry, I know you weren't trying to sound all superior. Thanks for waking me up and checking in on me... and thanks for kicking me into gear."

>Really?

"Applejack, I'll be straight with you. I had no idea there was so much stuff wrong with this place. And you know what? That's wrong. It's wrong I didn't know this stuff. I'm the Prince of this Empire, they look to me for leadership. If I can't do this, then what the hell am I doing here? I shouldn't be royalty just because I happen to be the lucky stallion Cadence picked to marry. I'm better than that, or at least, I should be."

>Well... Ah' guess Ah'm glad it's gettin' better.

"Me too. Thanks again for waking me up, why don't you go visit AJ2? She loves it when you visit."

>Maybe Ah' will. Good luck...Shining Armor.

*She leaves.*

*She doesn't see his smile.*
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 >Applejack 42
"Applejack 18"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>18, report!

"...What?"

>It's this new thing I'm trying. You report what you did in the crystal empire, I write it down, and then we go over it and discuss how we could do better or worse. Neat, huh? Turns out everyone does this. Well, everyone is SUPPOSED to, but Canterlot is pretty much held together by spit and liquid stupidity, so I'm trying it!

"..."

>...well, report!

"Fine. I entered into the castle, poked Shiny awake long enough to ask if he wanted a little "Stress control", he said no. The end."

>...There's like, a solid six hour gap in there. I feel like you're leaving out a lot of detail.

"I just muddied about for that time. Just walked around the castle and had to open a can of biscuits for AJ2 and Cadence."

>...

"I know, but I have to admit, it was kind of adorable watching them hide behind the table."

>So, were you disguised as a working pony, orrrr....

"No, I looked like Cadence."

>And she didn't order you arrested?"

"Are you kidding? She gave me tips on how to look more like her."

>Huh.

"Anything else? Your report all filled out and everything?"

>I-I guess?

"Cool. I'm going to catch some shut-eye, next train leaves in six hours and I need to be on it."

>Well, at least you're devoted to the mission.

"...Yeah, let's go with that."

*She leaves*

>...Why do I feel like everything is spiraling out of my control, and I'm powerless to stop it?

*In the far, far distance*'JOIN THE CLUB!"

>...Did I just hear a spin, and a little click?
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 >AJ 42
"AJ 29"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>29, report!

"Well, your hair is a mess, your teeth are just ghastly, and you will likely die alone and a virgin."

>I MEANT YOUR MISSION!

"What mission?"

>Seduce Cadence and or Shining Armor.

"What, that's official now? I thought that was just something I was doing... or not doing, as is the unfortunate truth of the matter. Prudes, the lot of them."

>So, unsuccessful?

"And how! Actually, I don't know if I'm allowed back, Shining Armor has made several implications as to boiling oil, and not the fun kind I suggested. Really now! All I did was offer to let him watch as I satisfied his wife. Some ponies like that!"

>...They do?

"Well, none that YOU would know."

>Well, if you aren't allowed back, I suppose I could re-assign you to-

"Oh no, no no no, I'm going back. See, Changelings like you might settle for any joe-schmoe pony who gives you the time of day, and I would take whatever in your case, just saying, but I am MADE for royalty, and am not settling for ANY less. I'll wear them down, get them curious, and then BAM!"

>...Bam?

"Oh~ 42, so naive! Yes. Bam. A lot of bam. In sooooo many ways. Tata~! Have fun with your little science project or whatever!" *leaves*

>It's not a... ugh. How much of that do I really want to write down, and how much can I actually do without hurling so hard I spit up all the love I ever consumed when I was three?

*Across the room*"Oh please, only professionals swallow! Don't pretend!"

>......HRRRRKK
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 >AJ 42
"AJ 56"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>56, report!

"Luna's backside is AMAZING when you spill some water on it. Sooo shiny!"

>...Anything else?

"Mrs Flowerpot, while she has a very nice plot, is not worth it all things considered. I know, it saddened me too, but that booty is attached to pure crazy, and you've gotta let it go."

>...anything else?

"The crystal empire is full of LIES, giant, hard as stone LIES. Also, I'm not allowed back there without constant supervision."

>...that's plenty, thank you.

"You sure? I can go into some pretty intimate detail about Applebottoms rear."

>Please don't.

"Your loss!"*leaves*

>Yes, I think I am losing something very vital the more this goes on.
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 >AJ 42
"AJ 2"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Applejack 2, report!

"I caught a firefly today! But it got away. The holes, they make life hard sometimes."

>...Wait a minute, you're not supposed to be here! Get out you blasted rogue Changeling!

"You don't want to hear how I singlehandedly saved the world of Candyland? Spoiler, it involved a cup of water and me forgetting where I put said cup of water."

>OUT!
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 Aj17: "there he is, a gem of a man"

Aj68: "Who me?"

Aj17: "you smell sweet, I could tell your good looking from up the hallway."

Aj68: "well thats nice but what does that have to do with anything-"

Aj17: "please, just give me this one moment."

Aj 68: "what ha-"

Aj17: "applejack 2 accidently ate quite a bit of the princess's cake. Yet shining is blaming me to protect her. I had a slice and the evidence is on my face, I would use napkins or somthing if not for fear that would be traced back to me by some dumb magic on their part."
A sigh slices the air.

Aj17: "Before she kills me or banishes me to the moon I want one thing-"

Aj68: "wait wait wait. Just tell the truth."
Vivid hoof movements were used exageratedly.

Aj17: "you think she is going to belive me over her and shining?"
Cue eye roll.

Aj68: "good point. So you were saying"

Aj17: "before I face my doom, I just want a kiss, or idealy a makeout session."

Aj68: "with me I guess?"

Aj17: "yes.."

Aj68: "but.."

Aj17: "consider it a goodbye more than anything."

One closed the gap.
"Cheating bastard..."

A tender moment, shared between a soon to be dead man and a kind hearted soul.
...And weird fang filled wallrus wrestling.

Aj17: "now flee you fool, lest you take blame with me too and go down."
Aj 17 looks at 68 with tears in those big blue eyes.

Aj68: "Before I go, what number are you?"
68 stares at this mysterious bughorse, sniffing the air with care.

Aj17: "I have no number, but I used to be seventeen before the lie teller stole my spot."
A brush of his hoof and then 68 runs away upon hearing a angry scream and seeing glowing golden yellow sunlight shining from the bakery.

Aj17: "goodbye darling."

>Where is the rat of a changelong who had at my cake, To the moon with it!

"crap crap crap, where are they"
AJ17 begins to pull sunflower seeds from a nearby flower pot and eat them in mass.

The golden princess slams into the floor cracking tile and stunning Aj17 from the landing.

"Did you see a changling run therough here?"

Aj17 feigns shock and gags on a few sunflower seeds forcefully, coughing and pointing down the hallway.

The Princess left as quick as she came, a scream occoured a short while later as Aj17 left the halls to go hide umongst the mob of changlings in the ballroom.

"save yet again. Yet again."
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 >2
"Shining"
'2's Friend'

>Hi Shiny!

"Hey 2, how are you?"

>Fine, I made a new friend playing today, can he stay over for a while?

"Huh? Oh yeah, I don't see any harm in that."

>Yay, thanks, Shiny!

2 trots happily upstairs, her friend (obscured from Shining's sight) follows.

>And here's where me and Shiny play Candyland, and here's my favorite napping spot, and here's my collection of-

'Crysssstalsssssss~!'

>Yeah, aren't they great?!
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 >Applejack 42
"Shining Armor"
'Cadence'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Zzzzz... HRKZ!WHAT THE FUCK!?"

>...

"Are... are you stealing my paperwork?"

>N-no, not any you're working on, just... I need some of these forms. I'm trying to get at least ten or so Changelings as official soldiers, and I need a way to identify them. You guys are the only ones that have the little area for hoofprints.

"You're... doing paperwork?"

>Yeah. That's what a commander is supposed to do, right? Make sure everything's running right?

"...Upper left."

>What?

"The forms you want are in the upper left of the big drawer. It has a little smiley face sticker on it."

>Thanks. 2?

"She likes stickers now. It's her thing."

>*grumbling* lucky little...

"Whassat?"

>I said, I can't have anyone know this is why I came here. So I have to make this look 'Official'.

"What do you mean, offi-OH GOD!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Really now, you knew it was going to happen.'

"Thank you honey."

'...the black eye doesn't look that bad.'

"Thanks for your input, dear."

'And it's not like she tore the ear OFF or anything.'

"As always, you are the light of my life, sweetie pie."

'...Are you mad?'

"I can see why that would be hard to tell. Focus on the left half, that's the least bruised."
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 >Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Sooooo...

"What? Are you embarrassed or something? This is new."

>Well, it's a bit of a touchy subject.

"Oh joy, now I can't be more thrilled."

>It's just, well, how'd ya'll get them ta' stop bein' scared of Luna? Cause this Changeling problem is gettin' out of hand, and Ah' can't find any way to make anyone in Canterlot NOT freak out when they see them.

"I didn't."

>Well, obviously YOU wouldn't be scared, but I mean the rest of them-

"I mean, I didn't do anything to make them less afraid of Luna. I thought that would be obvious after the Nightmare Night fiasco? I just sat back and watched the chaos."

>Ah. So-

"So I have no idea how to convince anyone to be less weary of a mass of invasive, laser spitting bug monsters. You're on your own with this one."

>...

"..."

>So did ya'll really laugh when Luna was makin' a fool of herself back then?

"Simple pleasures, Appleajack. You'll learn to appreciate them soon enough."
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 >Applejack 42
"Chrysalis"
'Various Changelings'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Chrysalis stands outside the ballroom, listening to the chaos within*

'OH DEAR GOD, NO! OW!'

'It's finally, happened! She snapped-OW!'

'Please, I just wanted to keep-OW'

'Do you really have to use a stapler-OW'

'Did you at least disinfect-OW!'

"...Do I really want to see what's going on inside?"

*Slowly creaks the door open a touch*

*Applejack 42 is standing on the other side, waiting with a huge smile on her face and a slight twitch in her eye.*

>My Queen! I solved the issue of the name problem!

*She proudly holds up a stapler and a bunch of number-tags*

*In the background, several changeling pick at their new brands.*

*Very slowly, Chrysalis closes the door*

"...I'm going to go steal some of Luna's cakes."

*Without another word, she leaves.
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 >Applejack 42
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>My Queen? I had a question.

"Oh?"

>Just wondering, what was our plan when we took over Canterlot?

"...What do you mean? That's the plan. Take it over, feast on their love, we win."

>No no, I got that, it's just... then what? After we've gotten the land and a steady food supply, what were we gonna do after that?

"Not following."

>Like, did we have plans to set up an infrastructure? Were we going to reduce ponies to the proletariat, and instill ourselves as the Bourgeoisie? Did we have plans for an educational system? What about rebellion and splinter cells, how were we going to deal with that? What was our goal on the morning after we won the day, is what I'm asking.

"...I need my dictionary real quick."

>My Queen....

"Fine. Plan was, invade, suck them all dry, and then move on when there was nothing left to drain. Simple as that, no fuss, no muss, no politics."

>That seems short term.

"Which is why we're in a ballroom right now, and not eating until we explode. Anything else?"

>My Queen... are we just parasites?

"..."

*Starts flipping pages in her dictionary*

"...Yes. We're that. Anything else?"

>...No, Majesty, thank you for answering my questions.

"Good. Don't bother me again unless it's important. I've got a stack of movies and a need for some quality cinema."

>Of course, Highness, of course.
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 >Applejack 42
"Applejack 18"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm leaving again, I'll see you tomorrow-"

>No, you won't.

"-night, what?"

>Your mission is a failure, it's time to cut our losses and move on. 29 can handle it from here.

"Are you insane!? That'll never work!"

>He's made it as far as you have, and he didn't take MONTHS to do it. You're done, I'm re-assigning you to somewhere in Canterlot.

"The Queen will never stand for this!"

>I asked her. She doesn't even remember sending you on this mission, that's how long its been.

"...But-"

>We'll focus on the outer area, mostly around the railway district. If we can cut off Canterlot's supplies, we can start a... are you crying?

"...D-don't make me go there."

>What is the matter with you!?

"Don't make me go down there! Let me stay on my current job! I hate it here in Canterlot! Everyone hates me here! Everyone keeps thinking I'm going to steal something or eat their children or whatever..."

>Are- are you going rogue!?

"...are you not? Look around here. No, seriously, look around this ballroom. Does this look like where we want to be?"

>Y-you... you little...

"Don't you get it? Over there, I don't HAVE to pretend to be someone else sometimes, I GET to be someone else sometimes."

>...Fine, remain on assignment. I will deal with this personally later. But if I find you impeding my work-

"You won't. You can keep this jerkoff city, I'm just fine miles away thank you."

>...Fine. Go on.

"T-thanks, 42. Thanks for being my friend. Just think about where you want to be, okay?" *leaves*

>...where I want to be...
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 >2
"2's Friend"
'Various Crystal Ponies'
[Shining]

>So this is the library, there's a lot of neat books in here, but I like the ones where the pictures pop up!

"Crystalsssssssss..."

>Not now, later, I dunno why you like them so much, they taste icky, and they stink if you're using them as building blocks, and-

The disembodied head of the Empire's Ex-Ruler floats into the library, ignoring the changeling.

'SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!'

'SOMBRA HAS RETURNED! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!'

'CALL THE EMPRESS!'

The stairs of the library are soon a flood of bodies, fleeing the spectre of their oppressor. 2 trots in, humming a tune to herself.

>Huh, a lot of ponies must have had somewhere else to be, huh?

"Slaaaavessssss..."

>I don't think their jobs are THAT bad. So, you're name's Sombra, huh? I think I'll call you Somby!

"...gwar?"

>C'mon, Somby, I'll show you the pop-up books!

Several hours later, on the steps of the steps of the library.

[So you say the patrons saw Sombra?]

'Yes, sir, they say his head just floated into the library like some kind of ghost.'

[Very well, you all stay back, I'll investigate.]

'They also said they saw a changeling walk in after him.'

[WHAT!?]

'It could have been hysteria, sir, 2 couldn't be that naive, could she?'

Shining is already running inside.

[2!? 2! WHERE ARE YOU!?]

>OVER HERE, SHINY! WHY ARE WE YELLING!?

Shining gallops to where 2's voice came from to find her in a bean bag chair, enjoying a pop-up book.

[Oh thank god, are you okay, 2?]

>Oh we're not shouting anymore? Yeah, I'm great, Shiny, why?

[They said you came in here after some kind of floating head...]

>Oh Somby? Yeah, he's over there in the how-to section.

[What!?]

>Are we back to shouting now?

Sombra is sat at a table, peering over a copy of Resurrection Rituals for Dummies.

[You!]

"Gwar? Hsssssssss!"

[Time for me to make sure you never come back, tyrant!]

>Wait, Shiny, no! Somby's nice, he wouldn't hurt a fly!

[2 stand back, you have no clue what he's capable of!]

>Uh...let me try that again, he COULDN'T hurt a fly, he's...kind of a shrimp. Sorry, Somby.

"Grr..."

>I don't know what he did before, but he's harmless now! He can't even eat anything, it just falls out of the black misty stuff where his neck should be.

[2...]

>C'mon, I'll keep an eye on him, and go straight to you if he does anything bad, honest!

[I can't just...]

2 fixes Shining with a pair of puppy dog eyes Yes, I do mean literally

[Gahh...alright.]

"Gwar!"

[But ONE sign of him doing anything evil, you come straight to me, got it?]

>Promise!

Sombra looks pleased with himself, until Shining levitates his book back onto the shelf.

[And he doesn't come within five steps of this library again.]

>Deal! C'mon, Somby, the park is more fun anyway!

Sombra looks ready to protest, but grumbles and follows.
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 >AJ2
"Sombra"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"GRAAAAAAAAH!"

>Don''t be such a grouch, it isn't that bad!

"ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

>Will you quit! Ponies are afraid of big black clouds, so all we have to do is make you not a big black cloud, and everything's alright! White is a much nicer color! I mean, Shiny's white, and nobodies afraid of him! See? It all makes sense.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

>Whoops, out of another can of spraypaint. It's fine, though, I think your eyes are pretty much covered. Time to move onto the mouth!

"AAAAARRRGGLBBLBLBLBLBLG!"

>I like this plan, this is a good plan.

"GLRBL!"
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 >Sombra
"AJ2"
'Cadence'

Thud.

>Grr...

Thud.

>Grr!

THUD!

>GRRR!

"Hey don't get growly at me, how was I supposed to know you wouldn't be able to see if I painted over your eyes."

>Rrrgh...

"If it makes you feel better I could try and tie us together with a string, I could be your seeing eye changeling!"

>Grgrgrhl!

"Okay, bad idea, jeez. You need to work on your vocabulary, you're worse than the Queen."

'2, dear, what is that?'

>GRGRGRH!?

"Oh this is Somby, he's my new friend, I painted over him so people will be less afraid."

'You...painted over the monsterous tyrant that once ruled this empire with an iron hoof?'

"Yes."

'Good girl.'

>NRRGHRGH!

THUD!
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