Worlds most badass poems volume 1 sept 2017

christening
by vivian
********

heres the poem scrapwork notebook, book, thing and the deal
fears and knowings, patchwork hopes, looks, and thinks, and feels
extremely epic feels... for the mother freaking win.

The world’s cool, badass poem
by vivian
********

MRS. TEETH:
im made primarily of teeth
teeth are what i am, and i am
described mostly by people who
meet me or see me in pictures
as being a sack full of only
human teeth.

BLADE LADY DONNA:
im her gf, future mrs. donna teeth
we met because we go through some
similar difficulties in life
her being a burlap sack of teeth
and me being an assortment of swords with
no sheaths.

the love guru
by vivian
********

remember the love guru? the love guru was badass, and mike myers
kindled mirth, struck profound emotional chords, stoked mighty fires
with his hilarious, heartwarming racist thing that he made
it tanked, but he, jessica alba, justin timberlake, verne troyer, john oliver, ben kingsley, daniel tosh etc still got paid.

wierd beavis poem
by vivian
********

get beaved: buy now and try later
says the prestidigitator

get beaved? sure, we assented heedlessly,
and threw our money at the unknown needlessly

he took from us great big armfuls of dollars
he said “anak-gonhar-chepanah-beavis-all-are”

he said it was safe, and he’d never deceive us
but he made every one of us all be a beavis

he said, not to worry, it was fully reversible
then he skipped to the harbor and escaped in a submersible

what sort of man, profit-seeking, cruelly beaves
and, having made countless victims, simply leaves?

yes, we’re all beavis now, bereaved and bereft
he cast an all-beavis spell and we’re all that was left

we’re normally lax, and we rarely bear grudges
but we resentfully wonder where that magic mike judge is

so that maybe he could,
if not free us from our cartoon-teenage-prison-bodies,
then maybe give us our lives and allow us our hobbies

so that at least, if nothing else,
there could be a muslim beavis
and a christian beavis, too
i could be a lesbian beavis
a gay guy beavis could be you
with prideful beavis workers,
sundry beavises who toil
clever beavis hands in factories
weathered beavis hands in soil
and countless beavis cultures
all beavis phenotypes as one
a world of warmth and dignity
for every beavis ‘neath the sun.

im a terf
by vivian
********

i am a terf. anyone who knows me can vouch for this simple fact
but acquaintanceships, i gotta navigate with much aplomb and tact
because my friends who disagree say, “lets graciously indulge her”
but if i speak honestly in public, i get defenses of rape culture
and a host of violent threats, grotesque and luridly imagined
from mostly guys who’ve yet to bother having a surgeon put a vag in
do not say rude comments about this poem. im allowed to say slightly nasty thing, and disregard the fact that SRS is still extremely expensive, requires a recovery period that very few jobs permit time off for, and carries potentialities like failure, death, or simple medical circumstance preventing its possibility in even the most extreme cases of sex dysphoria, i can say and disregard that stuff because in the context of this poem im daring to play the popularly unsympathetic character of "The Terf", and because im a transsexual with a lot of extremely complicated and often painful feelings that i need some way of working through or thinking out.

lilith
by vivian
********

of myth and secret history im sadly fairly ignorant
and as such the real face and voice of lilith elude me
its my fault for shirking study, in my laxity and indolence
and my memories of her, instead of emitting truth, exude these
vaguest of notions.

wasnt she the real mother of humans? or maybe nephilim
or something. mother of monsters, humans, same thing LOL!!!!
i vaguely recall her being magical, stronger than the best of ‘em
also taboo, like if you like her too much you might go to hell
for your devotion.

didnt she have some association with that eden garden serpent?
maybe that was a demonization of her later, by agenda-driven dudes
itd be fine if she did to me, cause my love for snakes is fervent
and i think moving away from old-faith patriarchal attitudes
is a healthy motion.

i thought she was a mother, and that she maybe like banged adam
but i swear i heard something about her being lesbian with eve
and maybe thats how it was, maybe she had her and never had him
and was exclusively homosexual and used elixir to conceive.
a like, pregnancy potion.

and she was in shin megami tensei 3: nocturne: maniax edition
featuring dante from devil may cry. and others in the series
that was a cool game where divine destruction leaves only perdition
then lucifer helps you build a demon heaven so cool and death-free
sorry, it uh, it kinda moved me to tender emotions.

her design is pretty cool. she has this perfect mullet-pompadour
and shes like, half-snake-person, part scaled, tastefully naked
high-level spells focusing on causing storms and making paramours
with cool yellow serpentine eyes and by a massive python be-snaked
i ran out of rhymes for ‘-otion’, except for ‘ocean’ and ‘lotion’ but seriously, what the hell was i going to do with those anyway

wasnt she a mesopotamian storm demon too? i keep seeing that when i
look it up, like on wikipedia. i guess theres no real version of
mythology where she’s a protagonist or whatever. its not like i
have any background in this topic, just a vague mishmash of
half-remembered ideas and whatever. and it sort of sucks because
like, if there are latter-day opportunities that cast her as
more morally favorable, then those arent really considered
proper canonical heel-face turns, everything bad written about
her before still holds weight, like im pretty sure most people
think of her as a demon, and the efforts to rehabilitate her
are small. but like, whatever, my version of her, however
half-baked is better than the original with its dumb message
about
female fallibility, and thats the one im going to cling to,
and even if the lilith fair was dumb and she probably
appears in countless dumb ways in mytho-fantastico genre
fiction im still going to like her and admire her
in the way ive specifically developed my idea of her.


poem for my little brother, who is named dogus troughbit, and for shelf head 5, who is a throwaway character from an essay steve martin did lampooning modern art in his collection of short humorous essays and stories, ‘pure drivel’
by vivian
********

knowing what i know, and inferring what i don’t
using the weathervane of my spit-wet finger
that lets me know the more or less course of all things
i can guess things are about to get a little grisly.

meaning, there’s certain things i need to do, but won’t
only in my peripheral awareness does the undone linger
usually ignored because of the pain that knowing brings,
and my weak belief: “i’ll break if i think so dismally!”

or maybe it’s because we’re all bored? with the very real
ending of the world. maybe there’s just something about
repetition that numbs you, maybe we’ve succumbed to
some pitfall in our cognition that makes all this “okay.”

i mean we all know it’s coming but to know and to feel
are two different things. and i think that probably without
being able to feel the world ending, we likely can’t come to
some heartfelt desire to make our looming species-death go away.

now, poems like this tend to place undue weight on acceptance
and try to paint our collective death as somehow desirable
because its some, like, expression of cosmic inevitability
as if death by exploitation were, like, so achingly beautiful...

and i’d like to eschew that common fetish for evanescence
i feel like preventable extinction’s not really justifiable
those appeals to “natural process” or “destiny” are pretty silly
the best thing you could say is they’re useless and untruthful

and the worst thing you could say is that they’re literal complicity in the mass murder of our species by our arrogant leadership who we must immediately depose by whatever means necessary and establish structures of governance that are predicated on socialist principles capable of vanquishing the amoral profit-seeking motive forces that drive human exploitation and heralds the imminent collapse of our environment because capitalism doesn’t let you plan for anything that isn’t accelerating their bullshit notion of “growth”. it’s probably illegal to say this but there’s pretty much no way that our current crop of world-killing capitalist oligarchs and their legions of dumbshit peons will give up power without being coerced to, and let’s not forget that they will use their monopoly on violent coercive power to prevent this, so we likely don’t have a chance in hell unless we are capable of redoing what was done in the origination of the 20th-century socialist projects, i.e. building up a popular force that is socialist in ideology and capable of winning a violent confrontation with the existing capitalist power structures and their dogged loyalists.

but its better to fight than let them peacefully destroy us.

see? it’s still a poem, i made it rhyme and stuff, please don’t tell them to put me in jail mr. nsa handler #401049. in your name i pray, amen.