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- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- Not-Canon
- >Spike
- "2"
- ~~~
- Spike and 2 wander the streets of Canterlot, Spike's eyes flickering between streets and the sky while a reddish aura crackles around him, centered strongest at the black amulet at his hip
- >Where is everyone else?
- "I don't know..."
- >It's alright, 2, I wasn't asking you, just hypothetical. Maybe hoping a bit they might come out themselves.
- "Spike... When we find Shiny... Or anyone, are you gonna put that thing on again? You were really scary..."
- >I know, dear... And I'm sorry, 2, but I have to-
- "Don't!"
- 2 suddenly hugs Spike
- "Promise me, Spike, you won't put it on."
- >I can't make that promise, 2, let me go, please!
- "No! Not until you promise!"
- >I said I can't make that promise!
- "PROMISE!"
- Spike's eyes flash red and he backhands 2 away
- >Do you think I like doing this? Well here's a news flash princess: Giving yourself over to the Alicorn Amulet sucks as much as as being hit by a spell from it! But dark magic kills Cordyceps, in case your miracle recovery didn't clue you in! Shiny's love sure didn't save you before, it didn't kick in now, because guess what? SHINY'S INFECTED TOO!
- "No..."
- >Yes! Red things growing out of him and everything! No ability to-...
- Spike's eyes go back to green and his expression softens
- "Spike?"
- Spike moves closer and hugs 2
- >Oh, I'm so sorry, 2... I didn't mean to say any of that... I don't like putting the amulet on either...
- "Then why?"
- >... Sometimes, to help others... To do the right thing, we have to do things we don't like. That's part of what being an adult is about...
- "O-okay..."
- >Let's get you to Auntie Luna and Celestia, that way... That way at least you don't have to deal with me like this...
- 2 suddenly hugs Spike again
- "No... I'll stay with you..."
- >Why?
- "Because I want to help you through this... Even if it means you get mad and yell, even if you become scary and hurt me... Because sometimes the right thing isn't what we want to do."
- Slowly, Spike returns the hug and begins to cry
- >Thank you...
- (2/2)
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Twilight
- “Rainbow Dash”
- {Gwen}
- ~~~~~~
- >Thanks for seeing us on such short notice, your majesty.
- {This had better be worth my time, princess. I am a very busy royal. Not that you ponies would understand political matters.}
- “Okay, Twi? Is the intention that I start an international incident? Is that what you want me to do? I'll do it. I do not know why I am here otherwise.”
- {I too would like to know why your pitiful airforce commander is here.}
- “We have beaten you guys literally every single Equestrian Games, personal meetup, and record wise, and we're the pitiful ones? I'm sorry, how many times have YOU saved the world again? I've done it three so far.”
- {Hrmph, through your magic trinkets.}
- “We don't even have those anymore!”
- >Rainbow Dash, please!... Listen, your highness, she is needed to be here due to an incident you were a part of not very long ago.
- {Oh?}
- >Yes, when your train was derailed by that dragon.
- The Queen grew silent, and spun her chair around so that they could no longer see her face.
- {I have given a full report already, there is nothing more to be said.}
- >Actually, you haven't. You said the dragon attacked your train, you spoke with him, and then 'he left'. You refused to go into further detail.
- {There is nothing more to be said.}
- “Oh, because THAT'S not suspicious!”
- >Dash!... She's partially right, but more importantly the reason she's here is that we wish to ensure this never happens again. I realize that you might wish to keep this secret to yourself, but it would possibly prevent deaths if we can just hear what exactly you did to drive him off.
- {...And what makes you think I had anything to do with it?}
- >Well, the only listed fatality was an earth pony named Sprynkle Starr-
- “SNK!”
- >...
- “...Inappropriate.”
- >I'll say. My point is, you were the only one awake, and the only other possibility was someone who realistically had no chance of driving them off. Please, we need to know what you did.
- Talons tapped together in a slow, easy fashion.
- {...There is nothing more to say on the matter, he simply left. No order of mine or act from myself had anything to do with it, he just left on his own volition.}
- Abruptly, Twilight's eyes grew hard, so quickly that even Dash was taken back by it.
- >Why did she save you?
- The room went silent, and cold.
- And then seemed to ignite as the Queen's chair spun about so she could once again face them, her eyes narrowed in anger.
- {Get out.}
- >Why did she save you!?
- {Did you hear what I just said?}
- “Uh, Twi? Maybe this is a bad time.”
- >You are hunting her, you want her dead, there was a perfect stooge to take the blame right there, there was a million ways she could have ended you and gotten off scott free, but she didn't. She let you, and every other passenger on that train live, why!?
- Furious, sharp claws slammed on her desk, sinking deep into the wood.
- {GET OUT OR I WILL HAVE YOU CARTED OUT PIECE BY PIECE!}
- >...
- “...A-hem, um, Twi? International incident. Maybe we should-”
- >Tell me what she was after, and I'll leave.
- If she had the ability, the heat coming off from the gryphon's eyes could have melted right through her Alicorn immortality.
- {… she heard the tale of Wan-Prime Haliaetus, our god of judgement, and attempted his summoning ritual. I am alive because my presence was necessary, my soldiers are alive because she needed them to be for a requirement of said ritual, and the dragon was merely in her way. It would have worked. Unfortunately for her, he is not real.}
- “Whoa, what!? Seriously?... Oh, man.... Gilda is reaaaaaly going to regret that tattoo...”
- >And she just left after she discovered this? No rage? No anger?
- {She took it surprisingly well, yes. And then, just like always, we were nothing but ants to her, she did not care if we lived or died. Disappeared in a wave of fire after that.}
- >...Thank you for this information. I will return the favor by notifying you immediately if we should manage to get a hold of her.
- {See that you do.}
- Nodding, at last both ponies left. Nonetheless, the queen's ire did not go with them.
- Outside, both seemed to be lost in thought... mostly.
- “Okay, Twi? You do realize I'm the... I'm the hot headed maverick, right? You're stealing my gig.”
- >Sorry, Dash. I needed you to be there to keep me from doing something stupid.
- “...Uh... Twi? We have met, right?”
- >Heh, okay, I might ALSO have wanted someone who would get my back if we got into a fight, and could put me on her back and outrun the entire gryphon army after I punched her lights out.
- “Noooow it sounds like we've met.”
- >Come on, we've got work to do.
- “What's next?”
- >Welllllll... you know how Spike keeps saying he wants to meet more dragons?
- “...Nice.”
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >42
- "Cherry Jubilee"
- ~~~~~
- >...
- "..."
- >...Y-you... can you repeat that, just, one more time?
- "Oh, dearie me, are you not the one I'm to go to for such matters?"
- >No no, I'm pretty sure I am, I just want you to repeat it.
- "Oh, okay. I would like ta' hire that fiery little boy for my workforce."
- >When you say 'fiery', could you be more specific? We can all use green fire, except for 12 or 10.
- "The one that's actually on fire."
- >...OH! Oh, you mean, ah, 55.
- "My oh my! What a strange name!"
- >My name is 42.
- "Oh dear, how embarrassing of me!"
- >Whatever, not a big deal. Look, why 55? There are a lot of Changelings who would love a job.
- "No no, just him."
- >Just him.
- "Just him."
- >...Well, have you tried asking him? I can get authorization to order him to go with you, I suppose, but I'd rather not. Just ask him.
- "Yes, well, that boy won't stop pretendin' like it ain't him doing all the saving."
- >...And you want him.
- "Oh yes."
- >...
- "...Employ wise, I mean."
- >Okay, well, ask him. If he says no, I'm not going to order him to leave a place that actually likes him. First and foremost, that's ignoring his rights. Second, it's hard enough to find a place that doesn't hate us enough, thank you.
- "I will pay a LOT of money, did ya'll know I'm rich? Practically royalty at this point. And ah'll make sure he's got the best housing! I think he lives in a shed at the moment."
- >I said no.
- "But he's so useful! No bandits go round that place no more! I do declare that I have no seen a WIT of a malcontent in that area since that sun did rise on the day he arrived!"
- >Just ask him to help you as well.
- "...I said he keeps denying-"
- >WHILE he's all 'evil demon' mode.
- "...You think he would?"
- >I'm not going to lie, I do not know the guy.
- "Well... it's worth a shot..."
- >Seriously, though, I have an entire ballroom. You want to go check them out? Lot's of potential.
- "No thank you... just him."
- >...Damn it, I'm never going to get those assholes out of that ballroom.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >SA
- "Pinkie"
- 'Luna'
- [Sombra]
- ~~~~~~
- "Sooo... Sombra? First thing you're going to do when you get your body back?"
- [I have not thought about it all that much, truly. Perhaps I shall simply savor the taste of food I've long since forgotten, take a bath to know the feeling of water on my skin, or perhaps just breath and enjoy the sensation.]
- "Ohhh... I'd get laid."
- >PINKIE!
- "What? I totally would! A thousand years? You better believe I would. Would get all up on that, ladystyle."
- >No, stop. What would your father say?
- "In this hypothetical situation, he's gone by like, two hundred years. Give or take."
- >...I think your math is a liiiiittle off.
- "Yeah, probably."
- 'Really, Pink one, what are the odds you would be in season during this occurrence?'
- "Not high, I guess?"
- 'So what is the point?'
- "What? The point is-"
- >Don't. Pinkie, do not. DO. NOT.
- "I'm just trying to say, I don't need to be in season to get fu-MMF!"
- >Pinkie?
- "MFMMMFMFMM!"
- [...How... how did a bar of soap get inside your suit?]
- 'TIS SORCERY!'
- "MFMMNMMM!"
- >You deserve that.
- "FMMFUU!"
- >You're only making it worse.
- "SMFHOHNAFIIIICH-GLK!"
- >...
- "...I-I think it went down my..."
- >...Gonna keep saying it?
- "..."
- >...thought not.
- 'We are so confused.'
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- "Cadance"
- -18-
- "18, oh 18!"
- -Cadance, I'm really busy so this had better be important.-
- "This is definitely more important than turning, um, audit reports into paper airplanes. I have good news!"
- -You've reconsidered Shinys exclusivity?-
- "Ignoring that. I want you to take the rest of the day off."
- 18 looks at Cadance, then to the mountain of paper, then back to Cadance. Then she goes back to scribbling notes and stamping papers.
- "Now I know what you're thinking, 'Cadance, I have way too much to do. There is like, totally, desaturated cyan files to go through here. At least.' But you need not worry. I had a little money set aside and I called in a couple of favors to get some temp workers to cover for you."
- -You what?-
- "Hired a few temps so you could have a couple of days off. I borrowed a couple of stallions from a local accountant to sort though the audits, a secretary was looking for some overtime so I thought I'd let her sort the reports that need to be forwarded to Canterlot and there were some students looking for part time work so i got them to check off petitions. You'll need to go over there work when you get back, but they should just need looking over."
- -Two questions. Is this legal?-
- "That doesn't sound much like a Two question, but I dunno. Probably? It's for a good cause, I had extra spa tickets and I thought you deserved one"
- -Well, I guess that answers my second question.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Twilight
- "Spike
- 'Rainbow Dash'
- [Dragon]
- ~~~~~~
- "Can I just say this is a bad idea?"
- >Yes. Yes you can say that.
- "..."
- >...Well? Go ahead, say it's a bad idea and we won't do it. I've learned my lesson about when someone says 'this is a bad idea', and I will listen to them when they say so."
- "..Okay, this might not be a 'bad' bad idea, but I am a little worried."
- >I have Rainbow Dash ready to swoop in at a moments notice.
- 'Am I just here to be the getaway vehicle for everything?'
- >No, you also provide sassy commentary.
- "..."
- '...Pft... heh, okay, that was kind of funny.'
- >Pinkie left flashcards.
- "Alright... let's get this over with...."
- Slowly, he crept up to the mouth of the cave, Charity at the ready.
- "Uh... hello?"
- That deep, bellowing roar would probably leave a ringing in his ears for many days to come, he admitted.
- "...Yo! Fellow dragon! What's up?"
- [...Is you serious driggle?]
- Annoyed, a dragon head adorned with WAY more gold and jewels than most countries had stockpiled poked out of the mouth of the cave.
- [Drig, you best not be actin' like you know. You don't even know, you nib?]
- "Nib?"
- [Nibble my dribbly little driggle. Dah spike you want?]
- "...Is 'spike' really a curse to you?"
- [You keep talkin' like that and I'll spike you up!]
- "Ah. Horrible thing to learn today... Um, yeah, I was actually looking for a bit of insider information... you, uh, 'dig'?"
- [Did this spitty really just... you best'a come out here with some oh dat shiny iffin' ya' want some thinky charms, you feel me?]
- "...Here's a very large, very rare, pearl."
- [And now we talkin' business! Das da shiny I love! What'chu need little driggin.]
- "It's about this big changeling."
- [...A what now?]
- "Black, bout as tall as a dragon..."
- [...]
- "...She looks like a pony, but has holes in her leg."
- [OHHHHH! Shit, you mean the thing that killed my homeboy! She stomped his ass flat!]
- "Wow, really?"
- [Yeah... poor buddy, never got to know what it was like to tap that...]
- "...Wow, just... I'm ignoring that so I keep my lunch. Anything you can tell me about her?"
- [I don't give a spike about her, but if I were you little driggle, don't go near them trains. Word got spread she be ON them trains, and she will beat yo ass DOWN. Lot'sa guys went lookin' ta' find her, and shiiiit, they don't come back all there you get what I'm saying? Dat fine ass got some KICK attached to it. She ain't got no gems, and she ain't steal nobodies, so you just run if ya' see her, got it? Don't even try, it ain't worth it.]
- "I'll... keep that in mind, thanks."
- [A'ight. Gimme dat pearl already, you got what ya' want.]
- "Sure, sure, thanks again."
- [Ain't nothin', get yo' purple ass gone.]
- Wearily, he handed over the pearl, and rushed back to the other mares.
- "...Okay, so, couple things-"
- >We were right here, we heard everything.
- "Ah. Well, did you get what you wanted?"
- >Not remotely.
- 'OH COME ON!'
- >We've got a lot more investigating to do, Dash... And please, restrain yourself from kicking THIS dragon in the face?
- 'ONE TIME!'
- >How many times do you have to do it before I can call it stupid?
- 'Four!'
- >...
- '...Fine, three, but no lower!'
- "...Let's just go."
- >Indeed! Next stop... AAAAAAPPLEOOSA!
- "..."
- '...Why.'
- >He made it look like fun!
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- Not-canon (if only because I think canonically 42 would just die from this, also not sure if the basis of the joke is still around)
- >42
- "Cadence"
- ~~~
- 42 finishes her formal rank and titles to a guard and salutes him off
- >Princess Cadence, what can- What's with that look, did I do something wrong?
- "Well... 42... did you really just introduce your rank as 'Praetorian Legatus'?"
- >Uhh, I suppose it is presumptious of me to assume I am a Legate to you and Prince Shining Armor-
- "No! It's not that! You're our dearest friend and always have our ear but... What have you heard about the Praetorians?"
- 42 smiles proudly
- >I read they were Princess Celestia's elite fighting force and personal guard in ancient times! Every single one of them was the best soldier in Equestria and were happy to serve Celestia in any function imaginable.
- "Uhh... Is that what auntie Celestia is putting in books?"
- >... What... What am I missing?
- "Well... Umm..."
- Cadence leans in and whispers
- Then, from miles around an enormous font of blood could be seen geysering up from the Crystal Empire and off into space
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Chrysalis
- “2”
- ~~~~
- “...Huuuuhhh.... nobody... nobody's commin' ta' tuck me in? Do... do I gotta do it myself?... Can't be that hard... Hrm.... HRK!... Jus' gotta... rooooolll... nope, came out tha' other side now... what about... Hah-nope... shoot... uhhh... huh... might need ta' go get some help on thissun-”
- >BOOM! Like the screams of demons below mine call is- ah shoot, wrong room. Was supposed to be... what the...
- “Huh?”
- >What are you doing?
- “I'm tryin' ta' tuck myself in cause Caddy's not commin'!”
- >Yeah, she tried helping 18 with the paperwork. Grabbed the 'easy' form.... from the bottom of the pile. Needless to say, they're trying to dig her out as we speak. Could be a while.
- “Oh... and Shiny's not home.”
- >Nope.
- “...”
- >...Oh, fine. STORYTIIIIIME!
- “YAAAAAY!”
- >This is the tale of Momsie, and the Eye of the Storm.
- “Ooo!”
- >It was a happy and cheerful day as Momsie made her way to the cheery town of colts-...ington. Coltsington, yes. That was the place. As she made her way to that town, she noticed quite the crowd in front of her. All sorts of ponies and gryphons big and small were gathered together in the town square.
- “What were they lookin' at?”
- >Momsie wondered that herself, and moved her way through the crowd gently and without breaking a single tooth, I swear, and nobody's hoof got crushed in either.
- “...M'kay...”
- >When she made her way to the center, she was greeted by an exhibit they were adding to the museum. A massive, MASSIVE and beautiful gemstone, easily bigger than her head!
- “Wooow...”
- >And within that stone, named the Eye of the Storm, was dancing colors of every kind, ones that moved with the light and made them appear as if they were forever caught in a great wind. It was amazing... so, Momsie decided she had to have...
- “...”
- >...a closer look. Because it sounded like a gemstone that had been... stolen, from... from aaaa... friend of hers. Right! A friend she had met before that she was best friends with and very friendly had a gemstone stolen that looked JUST like that one, to a T!
- “Was it?”
- >Yes! Momsie discovered as she got in really close, it was her friends stolen gem and she really wanted it... to give it back, of course.
- “Right.”
- >But she couldn't just take it, nobody would believe her! So she waited until the night came, and it was safely in the museum. There, she decided she was going to break in.
- “How?”
- >Simple, she had a drone of hers knock out the security guard, another one create a distraction on the other side of town to draw the guards-
- “What distraction?”
- >....Public shadow puppets. After that she had her infiltrator climb to the roof with her, and she used his horn to cut the glass above it-
- “With magic?”
- >...Sure. Then she-
- “Repelled down like in the movies!?”
- >Ahhhh... y-yeeesss... I mean, sure, what else was she going to do? Toss the changeling at the case to break it, jump down, grab the gemstone, have her disguised drone knock out the other guards, and then set fire to the place while she casually walked away with the gemstone completely unhidden on her back, mindzapping ponies all the way? Don't be silly. That would be way way worse than... than that thing you mentioned. Which was just repelling down, getting it back with no property damage or loss of life, and getting back up and leaving without a single trace she had been there. Which is what she actually did... the latter... not the first thing. Which didn't happen.
- “Yeah... that-*YAAAAWWWNNN*... that makes sense... so she gave her friend the gemstone back and she was happy?”
- >...O-of course she did, silly! And she was so happy she uh... hid it away... in a location I should really send 42 to one of these days...
- “Hmmm?”
- >Nothing, nothing... Everyone was happy, and got what they deserved, the end.
- “Y-...yaaayy....”
- >Stop fighting it kiddo, you can't win.
- “...hey, not-mom?”
- >Mmm?
- “Can... maybe next time... c-can you and Auntie Twilight tell the story together? She tells the... the coolest stories... cept' for Momsie. Momsies...*YAAAAAAAWWWNNNNN* cooler... but I think you'd tell the bestest stories ever in the whole world if ya' told 'em... together....”
- >...maybe someday, Not-My-Kid.
- “I hope it's... soo....zzzzzzzzzzz”
- >...Maybe someday.
- Gently, green magic tucked her in, and turned out the light.
- >Maybe someday.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >32
- "High Roller"
- 'Nurse'
- "Okay? All set up?"
- >What?
- "I said are you all set up!"
- >WHAT?
- "TAKE THE PLUGS OUT!"
- >I can't hear you! The plugs are working!
- "Then take them out so we can conversate a bit more!"
- >Hang on-
- 32 takes out his new ear plugs.
- >There, now what are you rambling about?
- "You got the reading stuff too, right?"
- >Yup.
- "Bangin', speaking of which , Treetree will be down here any minute..."
- >So I'll just-Treetree? Who the hell is-
- "The Nurse? Triage is her name."
- >Triage. You ponies have absurd fucking names sometimes.
- "Says you, your species sounds like a math problem if ya congregate."
- >Fair point. Well then, allow me to remove myself from this disgusting debauchery.
- "Take 'em off in about fifteen minutes."
- >I'll do it when I so wish!
- "Whatever."
- 32 places the plugs back in, observing his material.
- >The Shackles of Love...well this sounds promising.
- High Roller slips away from the cell, moving down the block before sidestepping casually into an identical cell, vacant but for the pale yellow mare inside.
- 'So...honey?'
- "We have a window."
- Gone is the lilting tones of lazy entitlement, replaced by a blunt businesslike voice. The stallion's expression has gone from smug to neutral at a speed that could rival Rainbow Dash's, and he regards the mare with a critical eye. The mare, for her part, looks at the wall where a few cells down 32 is lying oblivious, as if she can see him through the stone, a nervous look on her face.
- 'Then should we-'
- "To talk, Ms. Triage, to talk. I am not risking our operation when the castle is still populated as it is. My first reconnaissance sweep has shown me that the target's only regular visitors-"
- 'Are Princess Sparkle, his brother, and Prince Armor's kid, I could've told you that!'
- "Calm. Down. However, less often and therefore less predictably there is a rogue's gallery of visitors I can list a mile long. Any one of those changelings-particularly numbers 42 and 18-, possibly other members of the Gun Club, and the guard/changeling couple are chief among the possible interlopers. We need a chance to eliminate them as risks before we move."
- 'You don't think we're running out of-'
- "Out of what? Time? He's not going anywhere for quite a while, Ms. Triage."
- 'But you don't think that there might be suspicion?'
- A comforting hoof is placed under Triage's chin, lifting her eyes up to meet High Roller's.
- "Suspicion? Yes. There is suspicion. Suspicion that an unrepentant bastard from Las Pegasus has swept poor little Ms. Triage off her hooves and they have debaucherous sex in a prison cell. I have presented to these people a simple and uncomplicated stallion of vice, focused on doing as little work as possible."
- 'What...what about...'
- "Ms. Triage. You wouldn't happen to be second guessing this, would you?"
- 'N-no, no of course not, no.'
- "Good. Because waiting at the end of this is a lovely little beach in Haywaii where supermodels pretend my jokes are funny and I never experience sobriety. Three little syringes, Ms. Triage. When the time comes, that's all that our friends ask of you, filled to the brim with a substance more valuable than gold. Until then you will be my sickly sweet conquest, you will not lose your nerve..."
- The hoof jerked, gently, but emphatically, and his eyes burned into hers.
- "And you will not develop a conscience. Is that clear?"
- I...'
- >ENOUGH!
- Triage's eyes go wide and her mouth opens, a shout dying as High Roller glares at her and shakes his head.
- "No. He didn't and we aren't. Return to your duties and allow me to take care of him."
- Sheepishly, she nods, leaving. High Roller storms out of the cell, his expression back to pouty annoyance as he trots up to 32.
- "Come on, man, I was SO close, the foreplay was played out and I was about to take the pluuuunge!"
- >Shut up! Shut up! What is this smut you gave me!?
- "What smut?"
- >THIS! THIS! This smut right here! Three ponies wrote this...this literary vomit!? They subject this poor hypothetical changeling to such unspeakable things, and they don't even have the decency to spell half of it correctly!
- "I get you're frustrated, ok, I get it. So how's about we just let it simmer and I'll get something more your speed next time? Okay? Okay."
- >See that you do!
- High Roller steps away, walking towards the entrance of the dungeon, looking for all the world to be as perturbed as possible.
- After all, it was always more fun to con the smart marks.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Poindexter
- "Eight Bit"
- 'Gaffer'
- ~~~
- >Well, guys, we don't normally game just the three of us, but with Shining Armor off in space and Spike all busy with doing actual exercises, I figured we could do something different. Not just any different, but... Behold! Powers and Ponies, the super hero tabletop game!
- "Sweet! So would you like me to DM so you can get in on the action, Dex?"
- >Nah! This is for you guys, I feel bad for leaving you out. You two will be the dynamic duo of this adventure!
- "Thanks, man! I won't forget this, i'll DM for you sometime if you'd like."
- >Don't sweat it. So, let's brush up on the rules and you guys make your characters.
- later...
- >Alright, so what have you got for concepts?
- "Well, I will be Awesome Stallion!"
- >Nice! Nice!
- "I fly around the world fighting crime according to my Awesome Plan!(tm) Beating up badguys and locking them in my Awesome Van!(tm) Because I am Awesome Stallion!"
- >Okay, how about you, Gaffy?
- 'Well... I think I'll be Justice Dude.'
- >Uh-huh.
- 'I make sure people get what's coming to them and see that their justice due.'
- "Such as...?"
- 'Like backstabbing former best friends who abandon everything he knows. Just because he gets ass from thirty different kinds of mares and leaving none for us! I'd start by making him watch as I butcher every one of his whores before his eyes, then I'd skin him a live and wear his coat and impersonate him! Because I'm Justice Dude.'
- >"..."
- "Dude, seriously, get the fuck over yourself."
- SMACK!
- 'H-Hey! DM! He hit me!'
- >You honestly deserve a lot worse...
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- Non-canon.
- "Custodes 1"
- 'Custodes 2'
- -Custodes 3-
- "'Celestia'"
- >"42"
- ---
- "'No!'"
- >"Why not?!"
- "'Because I can't have them!'"
- >"But... I need to know things."
- "'Know things?'"
- >"Well... you know... they uh, helped you out in... certain ways, any way, really... when you needed it... ages ago..."
- "'Ohhhhhh... 42, you sly girl. If you were wanting a bit of sexy stallion D, you should of just sa--'"
- >"N-NO!! THAT'S NOT WHAT I W-WANT!!"
- ~Blood rapidly falls from her nose~
- "'Why else then?'"
- >"I was hoping they'd... teach me things. T-TOTALLY NON-SEXUAL THINGS!!"
- "'Uh-huh...'"
- >"Please?"
- "'Ugh... I suppose. AHEM!'"
- ~Celestia strikes a regal pose and begins to swoon, or something like that~
- "'OH MY EYES! I REQUIRE MINE CUSTODES, MINE LOVELIEST OF ALL WARRIORS, PLEASE!'"
- >"..."
- "'Give it a momen-'"
- ~AYAYAYAYA!! DADADA!~
- "Most noble Princess!!"
- 'Thou hath summoned us once again!!'
- -Oh mine pleasure at such a call in such a fashion. MINE LOINS ACHE FOR THOU.-
- "Tell us, oh splendid one, what do you require of us, something special perhaps?"
- 'Indeed, we haven't cared for you in, sooo long.'
- "'I agree, but no, not right now my warriors. I need you to help this one.'"
- "...Thou jest, surely?"
- '"'Did I stutter?'"
- "N-no, most radiant one!"
- 'Indeed, we shall help the... holed creature.'
- >"Oi! I'm a changeling. And it's not anything bad, I just need pointers."
- -Very well, changeling.-
- "I would much rather be tending to your needs, oh glorious one."
- "'I know. I wish the same. But no yet. Later.'"
- -So commanding!-
- >"Right so... basically... Um, Celestia? You mind, maybe... leaving for a moment?"
- "'Oh... OH! Sure, 42. I don't mind~'"
- >"H-HEY! NOTHING WEIRD IS GOING TO HAPPEN!"
- "'Mine ears are sealed, say no more. I'll just be ravishing some cake.'"
- "And we shall ravish thou later."
- 'Yeeeesss.'
- >"...Riiight. So, guys. Basically... I-I... was maybe thinking you'd give me some tips?"
- "Tips?"
- >"Y-yeah... um... on how to be...um, seductive?"
- 'Such allour comes with time!'
- -Thou cannot become as seductive and oiled as we!-
- >"Celestia did tell you to help me."
- "..."
- '...'
- -...-
- "Fine. Your training begins now."
- ---
- "'Oh yes, you look so tasty! I'm just gonna nom you right u-'"
- >"OH SWEET YOU, NO!"
- "'Awha?'"
- ~42 slams the door behind herself, she's covered in blood, likely from her own body~
- >"WHAT W-WERE THEY DOING??"
- "'I thought they were helping you?'"
- >"N-NOT THE WAY THEY WERE DOING!!"
- "'Oh my... do tell.'"
- >"N-NO!!"
- "'But you liked what they tried to do?'"
- >"OF COURSE N-NOT!!"
- "'...'"
- >"...A little. BUT STILL IT WAS WEIRD."
- "'Ah, still as virile and eager as the day I made them. Think I'll go see them now.'"
- >"They left."
- "'Hm?'"
- >"When they... started... they immediately poofed into thin air."
- "'...Dammit, mother.'"
- >"What?"
- "'Nothing. Just... broken dreams.'"
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >SA
- “Sombra”
- 'Pinkie Pie'
- +Luna+
- ~~~~~
- +We have reached the floor that my chambers reside in.+
- 'What!? B-but there's so much stuff' we haven't seen yet! There's like a hundred more floors to the place, why isn't it at the very top of the tower!?'
- +I added on as time went by, I just didn't want to move my chambers every few decades when I added more floors to the tower.+
- 'Aww... That's kind of a let down.'
- +If I ever decide to bring Twilight up here, I promise I'll bring you along as well.+
- 'For cereal? Really!? YES!'
- >So there are Moon Opals in your room?
- +... Yes... A very large amount if we remember correctly... a few day's worth...”
- “...Day's worth?”
- She shrugged of his question and stepped forward towards the doors of her chamber.
- +What you desire is behind this door Sombra, take what you need and we shall leave.+
- She pushed the door open and blinked in surprise. The room was nearly empty save for a bed and some furniture.
- +W-we do not understand... There should have been piles of them here.+
- >Could you have been robbed?
- +N-no, only we can open the doors of this Tower.+
- -Yes... only we...-
- Luna froze in place her eyes widening.
- +I-It can not be...+
- The shadows within the room began to converge and bleed into each other as a dark shape manifested itself into the very familiar form of a wisp.
- -Hello little Lulu...-
- >Nightmare...
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >SA
- “Sombra”
- 'Pinkie Pie'
- +Luna+
- -Nightmare-
- ~~~~~
- The foreboding face of the Nightmare stared at them with it's slitted eyes.
- -You know, I was slightly worried when you arrived... I saw the Pink one and thought maybe you and her friends had somehow discovered me and had come to finish me off... Apparently not.-
- >This isn't possible... you were destroyed!
- 'Yeah! Me and the girls kicked your butt!'
- -Yes... I was destroyed... but so was he.-
- Sombra stared wide eyes at the creature before him.
- “It was you I felt! You are the evil tainting these halls!”
- +Very impressive Sombra... Oh yes I remember you... You were a big part in my creation, so in a way you are the father of Lulu's darkness. Hello, Daddy.+
- “Be silent spawn of evil!”
- - Evil is such a simplistic and common word... I think I would prefer malignant... rancorous... and maybe baleful, like the moon at night.
- +My moon is not baleful you monster!+
- -Oh Lulu, you flatter me so.-
- >How did you even survive?
- The Nightmare gave them a treacherous smile and began to float around the chambers.
- +Well it all started the day before we were to be released. I could feel our reluctant little helpers on their way, four little stars never to shine again... but any price is worth freedom. But I feared our beloved sister would be waiting for us. So we left a small empowered fragment of ourself here, so If we were once again banished, we would return far sooner that expected and attack with complete surprise.+
- She paused floating above the bed.
- +But imagine our surprise when we took out our sister with no fight at all... we were free to do as we pleased... until the pink one and her little friends defeated us. We under estimated them and I was destroyed. We became you and I... but I did not die. I eventually reformed here within this chamber. I was even ready to get right out and take your body again Lulu, but there was one little detail we had not foreseen. The Door. I could not open it, because it demands a physical presence as well as a magical one. I was trapped within, with no way out. Starswirl's gift was also a prison... I suspect he might have known while he was creating it... Such a cleaver old stallion.-
- Nightmare then floated towards them.
- -But now you are here... and I will have a body once more!-
- Luna snarled at her, horn glowing bright with power.
- +I will not allow that to happen again!+
- The lance of magic cut through the air hitting Nightmare where she floated.
- -AAAAAAAHHH...HAHAHAHA!-
- The Nightmare's eyes started to glow brighter as the magic was absorbed within her.
- -Oh Lulu... you can not harm me. I am you after all. Your anger, your power... It fuels mine!-
- >Then maybe I should take a crack at it!
- Shining's horn glowed from within his helmet only for it to fizzle out.
- [Sorry Shiny, high amounts of magic could short out the suit. Hope this isn't a bother, love you!]
- 'Uh-oh.'
- >Ah crap.
- -Would you look at that... a little knight in Shining Armor... Your lack of power amuses me... Let me show you what MY power can do!-
- Shining suddenly found himself and Pinkie Pie lifted by a sickly purple glow, the Nightmare's eyes glowing bright. She launched them out the open door before slamming them shut and sealing them.
- “Shining, Pinkie!”
- +How can you be using such strong magic? You should be nearly powerless!+
- -Once again it is thanks to you little Lulu... I have been trapped here for almost three years... But I have not been idle. I have been gaining strength... Enough to over power my foes... and its all thanks to these little beauties.-
- A small, almost clear object floated into view, a halo of white shining around it. Almost like the ring of light around a full moon.
- “...A Moon Opal.”
- -That is one name for them... but I prefer their real name... A Luna's Tear.-
- Sombra blinked in surprise before turning to Luna who was quivering in rage.
- -There were piles, and piles of them in this room. Tiny little bits of Luna's power and anguish.-
- The glowing stone was snuffed out as it was consumed and the Nightmare's eyes glowed a little brighter.
- -And now they all belong to me.-
- +... You fiend.+
- -Nothing can stop me now Lulu... I will take your body again... And the night will last forever.-
- The Nightmare suddenly rushed forward and latched onto the Princess of the Moon.
- -And when I'm done with you... I shall destroy the pink one and the little knight... and after them I shall destroy all their loved ones and everypony else who thinks they can challenge me!-
- +N-no I will not submit to you again!+
- -It's to late Lulu... sleep now and it will all be over soon.-
- “No...”
- The Nightmare turned to the fellow wisp and nearly reeled back in surprise. Sombra's eyes were glowing with dark power, his horn shining bright red.
- “NO!”
- The blast that followed the shout sent the malevolent wisp flying across the room and away from the moon princess.
- “You shall not take her, not again!”
- The nightmare's eyes narrowed, glowing bright once more.
- -You dare defy me!-
- Sombra's horn shined brighter and humbed with power.
- “I dare!”
- The two wisp danced around each other shooting off lances of magic at each other.
- -This is my domain now, here my power is infinite!-
- “This realm belongs to the Princess! You are nothing but a shade of her!”
- The two fired at eachother their magic's clashing. Luna wearily rose to her hooves and watched wide eyed as two wisp fought.
- -Why do you fight me Sombra! Together we could reclaim our bodies and rule this world.-
- “I will not allow you to harm Luna and those I have come to love!”
- -Love? Love!? You are incapable of love Sombra... Or should I remind you of precious Orange Blossom's fate?-
- Sombra snarled in rage.
- “Do not speak of her monster!”
- -Yes Sombra, I am a monster, but so are you! You know deep in your heart that you and I are the same!-
- Sombra's horn cracked and splinterd as his power flared and his black mane seemed to stretch out engulf the room in darkness.
- “I am nothing like you!”
- The Nightmare's eyes widened as her magic began to fail her.
- -N-no! T-this is impossible! I am the Night!-
- “And I am the King of Shadow!”
- Nightmares form began to flicker and fade here eyes wide in terror.
- “You are nothing but bad dream... and you will be forgotten just like one... BEGONE!”
- -NOOOOOOOOOO!!!-
- There was an explosion of magic and the world went white.
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >Celestia
- "Chrysalis"
- ~~~~
- >You know what I just noticed?
- "The tiny rocks that have been pulled into your asses gravity and are floating?"
- >NOT AG-... ha ha, very funny.
- "The fact you looked scares me."
- >My point is... your aunt, Chitania, couldn't she help with the current population problem you are currently facing? You queens can have more than one child at a time, can you not?
- "...Uh, shit, guess I never told you that part."
- >What part?
- "Okay, prepare yourself, you're about to laugh. Chitania? Big ol' aunt Chitty? She's defective."
- >I'm... sorry?
- "She only had, I swear on my mother's grave, she only had ONE kid!"
- >What?
- "I know, right!? Pfffthaahahah! I still laugh just thinking about it! CHTIANIA! All that power and she's outright defective! HAHAHAHAHAH!"
- >Does it bother her?
- "Oh, like you would not BELIEVE! AHAHAHHAHA!"
- >...That sounds horrible.
- "Ahahh.. haha.... I guess it's a changeling thing. Queens... yeah, queens having ONE kid is... pffthahahah... it's funny..."
- >You know, the universe has a terrible sense of irony.
- "...Don't you fucking joke about that."
- >Why? You don't want kids.
- "No, but I also, you know, don't want to be fucking defective. That's just... uuugh... funny when it happens to someone else, you know? Like getting run over by a speeding cart."
- >That doesn't sound very funny.
- "Meh, had to be there."
- >...so, if you were like that-
- "NOPE! Stop right there! NOPE NOPE NOPE! Do not go there, do not chart a map there, you eat a nice long dick good madam and you choke on it."
- >Alright, alright already...
- "..."
- >...Shiny seems like the type to want a bunch of kids.
- "Fine, tell Cadence to get off the pill and stop being so stingy."
- >She's not on any pill, they just don't do it enough for that to be a risk.
- "...But they have, haven't they?"
- >...
- "...Snk...."
- >Do not laugh at that.
- "...PFFTAHAHAHAHAHA"
- >You're a bitch.
- "QUEEN BITCH! And don't you forget it!"
- ~~
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- >SA
- “Sombra”
- 'Pinkie Pie'
- +Luna+
- ~~~~~
- The sound of banging could began to grow louder as the blinding light began to fade. The doors of the chamber finally burst open as Shining and Pinkie entered the room.
- >Princess, Sombra!?”
- The Princess blinked her eyes as the world came back into focus. +I-I am fine.+
- 'Well that's a relief... Where's the meanie?'
- As the princess looked about the destroyed room her eyes settled on a familiar black feather. It was being burned away by dark flames and a faint scream could be heard in her mind as it slowly turned to ash.
- +The Nightmare... is no more...+
- 'Somby, where are ya?'
- >Sombra?
- Shining looked around the room before his eyes settled on a cracked and broken red object nearby.
- >... Please no...
- He slowly approached the and splintered remains and began to tremble. They were red was dull and lifeless.
- >...Y-your not supposed to be able to die. That's what the book said... That's what all the books said! There is no known way to kill a wisp...
- Luna wearily made her way over with Pinkie by her side.
- '...Somby?'
- +...He fought to save me... +
- >... I... I don't understand... unless... only a wisp can kill anther wisp...
- +'…'+
- “Then... we're going to have to update the books.”
- The three whirled around to see Sombra slowly floating towards them.
- “I am really going to have to repair that thing... It's saved my life more than once now.”
- Shining eyes flickered towards the object on the floor than back at Sombra's slightly smaller horn.
- >Ha... Ha ha... HAHAHAHAHA!
- 'Somby your alive!... Well Sort of.'
- +...+
- “I will never again doubt my choice in making that thing...”
- >... I am so glad I didn't talk you out of wearing it... The Moon Opals?
- Sombra looked saidly around the empty room.
- “Gone... devoured by the Nightmare.”
- +... No... There is one left.+
- Sombra turned to see the Princess holding up a slightly larger and brighter glowing Moon Opal than the one Nightmare had consumed. The two stared at each other for a moment before smiling at one other.
- “... Thank you...”
- +It is... the least I can do. Thank you.+
- >Well! Now that that's over... I think I want to go home and rest. I think I've had enough of an adventure today.
- +I could not agree more.+
- “Indeed.”
- 'Well then, Ms. Moons, beam us down!'
- +…+
- '…Please?'
- +Of course, Captain Pie... but we will have to go back down and out the front door.+
- >We have to go all the way back down? Really?
- +The entire tower is enchanted to block teleporting, all the way up to the edge of the crater.+
- >... Alright, come on Pinkie.
- 'I'm already half way there- halt way there- half way there-'
- >... Where did she keep that phonograph?... you know what, nevermind. Wait, oh no... PINKIE IF A SINGLE PAINTING IS OFF THAT WALL!
- As Shining left the Princess and wisp behind, Luna turned to Sombra.
- +I was wrong.+
- “What?”
- +I was wrong... You have changed... and I can see it as clear as day now.+
- “Thank you... for everything.”
- +You are most welcome... Don't tell a soul about my tears, or I will have you gilded when you have your body back... Mother knows my sister would exploit me for cake funds.+
- “I promise.”
- +Good, now let us make haste. I would rather not have to explain to everyone why Pinkie returned with a number of questionable paintings.+
- “You go on ahead I almost forgot something.”
- As she left Sombra began to collect the shattered piece of his horn extender. As he picked up the last piece however he winced and began to fade slightly. After a moment he stabilized back to normal.
- “That... was not a good sign.”
- _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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