NOShot 6

>A dire wind passes through your soul, a taste of sinister things to come echoes through your being causing you to stop a moment and reflect on what has brought you to this place
>You are Anon
>A man of wit and talent
>Power and prowess
>All of it bestowed upon this calm and tranquil land of Equestria due to a terrible bureaucratic mistake
>A mistake that has wrought upon you the trails of time and experience here in this land of miniature equines
>Experience which has wrought a dark and terrible secret such that even the mere thought of another soul knowing this fills with the most tremendous fear
>Throughout all of your time here in this place, one singular thing has risen above all others
>A single shining beacon of light and hope in these otherwise dreary cake filled days
>Your one burning desire to see this thing vaunted above all, paraded and praised for all to see the true worth and value that you alone seem to see
>Yes, your times here have transformed you into one who holds the most sacrosanct of ideals
>You have a p0ny waifu

>Even for yourself you were surprised, the idea that some small spark of compassion and love existed within your cholesterol enriched heart
>That it could burn ever more brightly for this mare, even when she was cold and uncaring towards you
>That you might find yourself going out of your way to try and catch glimpses of her, despite the way she makes fun of the smell of your delicious NOS
>Even now, trying to imagine yourself anywhere but at the side of that grumpy and somewhat neurotic mare is just impossible
>You had tried everything you could think of to let her know how you feel, to hear her angelic voice reciprocate your powerful declarations
>Just thinking about it made you feel, which given how you unfit all these energy drinks were making you was a miracle in of itself
>But you had tried everything; there was just no way to reach your beauteous wonder
>You had tried telling her face to face right where she worked, but you just ended up eyeing her nervously while sweating up a storm until she left, unsure of what to make of the classical approach
>Her resplendent cutie mark swaying back and forth as she trotted off was almost enough to make you spaghetti just thinking about it, but a man of NOS shall not succumb so easily
>After that you had followed her home and silently crept in after her, without other p0nies to laugh should the unthinkable happen would allow you to garner more courage

>However that too ended in the bitter taste of defeat once she realized you were hiding in her bed and had beaten your body so that you would never forget
>That angry look and the raw stench of fear as it clung in the air will stay with you always
>Broken, yet unyielding you had moved to the recourse of the unsound and had over many cans of NOS managed to produce an letter such that any reader would fall madly in love with you
>There had however been no reply from your dearest waifu, the one p0ny who stood out beyond all others; sometimes to the point that there seemed to be more than one in your eyes
>Nothing at all, no flowers, no candies, no illicit nighttime activities, not even having her drink some NOS with you
>Even charged with superhuman Alpha powers thanks to NOS you dare not explain your actions in front of the entire town and so it is with a heavy heart you settle on the lesser course of action
>You clumsily roll your wheel chair out of your house, your loyal yet rickety steed upon which you perch set on a singular yet roundabout route towards the one place you can claim the answers you need without risking your precarious health
>The objective this day; The Post Office, with the one goal of working out if your letters had arrived at their intended destination
>That your Shakespearian prose might reach the heart of another is a horror too much for your gentle and poetic soul to bear

>Roaring you set your battered body into motion, propelling yourself towards the unyielding horror that is the future
>The dank and desolate atmosphere are just how you remember it, still the vile presence of entropic death hangs heavy over the area as though the very shape of the building invites horrors from another realm
>A dark wind strikes at your very being, but just as quickly so does it vanish the cold air acting to drain all hope from your being
>Steeling yourself you push onwards, the wheels of your chair clattering quietly as you pass beyond the point of no return and into the waiting maw of this vicious place
>The still, oppressive air of this inner sanctum for postal services is punctuated by the dreary ticking of an unseen clock and the unsteady breath of the only p0ny you know works here
>Derpy Hooves; how a creature as gentle as this could survive in this place, so hugely remote from such dim memories as hope and optimism is beyond your understanding
>Quiet creaking from your chair is the only noise you make as you slowly approach the hole behind which she usually sits in wait
>The dank air filled now with the sounds of ragged breathing, the occasional squeak straining their way into your maddened ears
>You gather your scattered wits and courage, quietly questioning the almost frenzied sounds coming from somewhere beyond the reaches of your limited vision
"Derpy? Are you in here?"

>In a single moment everything stopped, the ragged and frenzied breaths stilled themselves in the instant your voice filled the air
>This pregnant moment in the history of this foul place does not last long, a sudden burst of the hurried sounds of hooves squelching on felt reaches your ears moments before a wide eyed panting Derpy stretches her head out over the counter
>Her face a deep crimson performs a valiant effort in darkening still as she struggles to focus on you, panting heavily
>She grins lazily; it was the grin of a winner, "Hey Anon! I was just thinking about you!"
>That made one of you
"I just came here to check if there had been any, uh, miss-deliveries of letters."
>One of her eyes stares thoughtfully as she brings up a wet looking hoof to her chin tapping it thoughtfully while thinking, the action leaving a slimy trail from hoof to chin
>"Hmm, nope! All the letters got to where the needed to be, Anon!” she replies cheerfully
>You just deflate, sagging back into your chair
>The worst had happened; your desired p0ny had received your feelings and not only spurned them but ignored them completely
>Derpy floats over the office barrier on ruffled wings that look almost painfully spread, taking in your total dejection with her glistening amber eyes she places  a letter on the counter covered in a vaguely familiar script

>"Do you....want some NOS to cheer you up? I've just got a fresh batch in today, I know how much you like it!" she proclaims with an almost animalistic hunger
>Thoughts of your precious waifu as well as your lurking suspicious are set aside in an instant
>Her voluptuous flank, her full bodied mane, and the way she shouts at you for scaring off her business on warm days
>She'll still be there tomorrow; you can always try again since Alphas only accept defeat on their terms but for now such concerns are meaningless
>Even the purest waifu love will come second to NOS