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getsu's advice

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Jan 19th, 2018
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  1. xp194 So put up with it?
  2. 7:23:57 PM xp194 Is that what you're telling us?
  3. 7:25:00 PM Ori-mob_ No.
  4. 7:25:05 PM Ori-mob_ I don't have an answer
  5. 7:26:32 PM xp194 So it is what you're telling us
  6. 7:30:35 PM Ori-mob_ I don't know
  7. 7:31:53 PM Ori-mob_ I feel like I'm stuck and made you stuck
  8. 7:32:13 PM Ori-mob_ I don't want to go, but I don't want to make your life worse
  9. 7:33:03 PM xp194 Well, you are.
  10. 7:33:21 PM xp194 Or at least
  11. 7:33:40 PM xp194 Giving us all a hassle we really do not need on top of the rest of our lives.
  12. 7:33:42 PM Ori-mob_ I'm gonna go then
  13. 7:34:00 PM Ori-mob_ I'll try and stay out of your way
  14. 7:34:03 PM Ori-mob_ has quit: Quit: Mutter: www.mutterirc.com.
  15. 7:36:19 PM xp194 rubs temples.
  16. 7:36:54 PM Nichos blinks
  17. 7:37:06 PM Nichos Expy, did you seriously just tell Ori to fuck off? :|
  18. 7:38:09 PM xp194 Not intentionally.
  19. 7:38:17 PM xp194 But
  20. 7:38:20 PM xp194 Urgh.
  21. 7:38:31 PM Nichos How is that not intentionally, you literally went "I'm sick of dealing with you, go away"
  22. 7:38:31 PM xp194 He's doing the whole "I don't /mean/ to do it!" thing
  23. 7:38:40 PM Chinatsu Well, I don't have much in a place of say here, but the way I'm looking at it, something might have to be done.
  24. 7:39:08 PM Chinatsu I don't know by who or what, in this case, but, problems have their solutions. It should be helped by everyone to find it.
  25. 7:39:21 PM xp194 The thing is.
  26. 7:39:36 PM xp194 This either requires a radical change on Ori's part.
  27. 7:39:44 PM xp194 Which we've been waiting warmly on for
  28. 7:39:50 PM xp194 Best part of a decade now?
  29. 7:40:39 PM Chinatsu Well, if you've waited that long, I can definitely see where your impatience stems from. Though, at the same time, I think it's better worth acknowledging, that something like that may not come if this is the lifestyle he's choosing for himself.
  30. 7:40:55 PM Chinatsu The whole saying goes "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" applies here.
  31. 7:41:07 PM xp194 That's what I mean
  32. 7:41:22 PM Chinatsu I think your impatience is justified. Nichos, you're an admin here, right?
  33. 7:41:31 PM Nichos Mhm
  34. 7:41:42 PM Chinatsu What's been the history here? It sounds like this has been going on the better part of a while.
  35. 7:41:54 PM Nichos In one form or another
  36. 7:42:01 PM Nichos Ori is,.... a problem child
  37. 7:42:09 PM xp194 Problem /adult/
  38. 7:42:16 PM xp194 he left problem child a long while back
  39. 7:43:09 PM Nichos You can say that, but maybe I'm just too old to think of him otherwise
  40. 7:43:28 PM Chinatsu Well, you give a baby a bottle, the baby is gonna drink. Maybe the solution here is treating him like just that.
  41. 7:43:29 PM Chinatsu An adult.
  42. 7:43:42 PM Chinatsu If he accepts it or not is irrelevant, because if he likes it or not, he is one.
  43. 7:44:08 PM Chinatsu Thusly, if he chooses to act like a child and make issues in that manner, punishing him like one will not work.
  44. 7:44:26 PM Chinatsu It's been in my experiences for this to happen, and I've got no way in a say of what to do with him and everything.
  45. 7:44:44 PM xp194 He's behaving in a child like manner about it, I will admit.
  46. 7:44:59 PM xp194 "I'm sorry. I don't mean to do it."
  47. 7:45:03 PM Chinatsu This has been you guys's thing for so much longer than it has been for me, I've only got a fraction of what Ori's character is to work with, but, with that in mind.
  48. 7:45:19 PM Chinatsu If I'm able to tell that there's an issue with Ori in that regard, there's probably issues that dearly need to be fixed.
  49. 7:45:42 PM xp194 While /acknowledging/ that it's still happening but basically going "But I'm not going to stop it."
  50. 7:46:50 PM Chinatsu Well, in that case, Nichos, have you considered punishing Ori for his persisting attitude and demeanour that's been widdling down on everyone here?
  51. 7:47:10 PM xp194 We tried that. Banned him from RP for a few months
  52. 7:47:17 PM xp194 He got /super/ pissy and toxic.
  53. 7:47:56 PM Chinatsu He doesn't seem to be getting much better. In that case, if he were acting like that, why unban him? If you submit to what he wants, that's going to only make dealing with the core issue stronger.
  54. 7:48:13 PM Chinatsu Or, more difficult, rather.
  55. 7:48:49 PM xp194 He /has/ been on his Final Warning for... several warnings now.
  56. 7:49:06 PM Nichos I don't know
  57. 7:49:12 PM Nichos It
  58. 7:49:26 PM Nichos I feel like pushing him too far will make him do something I don't want to be responsible for
  59. 7:49:47 PM Chinatsu You won't be. I understand that fear, but I will promise you, you won't be. You have a decision to make here as a moderator.
  60. 7:50:08 PM Chinatsu You can't be lenient on your rules for someone like that. When that happens, it's called manipulation.
  61. 7:50:41 PM xp194 The thing is
  62. 7:50:49 PM xp194 I don't /want/ to get rid of him
  63. 7:50:59 PM xp194 He /can/ be a genuinely fun guy at his best?
  64. 7:51:05 PM xp194 I just
  65. 7:51:24 PM xp194 I'm questioning whether that's worth it or not
  66. 7:51:28 PM Chinatsu A justifiable point would be when Ori verbally said "Fuck you" to Expy here. He handled it well, but for what Expy said to Ori earlier, you seemed to hop on him a lot sooner than you seemed to with Ori, if you did at all for the latter case. And I understand what you mean, Expy.
  67. 7:51:35 PM Chinatsu He wouldn't be here if he wasn't a good person at some degree.
  68. 7:52:07 PM Chinatsu And I also understand trying to salvage that again, but I think at the way things are being approached and handled, that may not work out. I'm only speaking out because tihs may cause me to leave eventually, if it persists.
  69. 7:52:35 PM xp194 I mean
  70. 7:52:37 PM Chinatsu I've handled people like this and have delt with them, and they've been very manipulative and negative in my experiences. Call it little patience or consideration for kindness I have towards them, but I don't spare it when I see it won't get anywhere.
  71. 7:52:52 PM Chinatsu I'm only sparing just future drama in the case that I do.
  72. 7:52:55 PM xp194 Admittedly, I /am/ trying to push his buttons quite deliberately.
  73. 7:53:05 PM xp194 Or was in that case
  74. 7:53:07 PM xp194 Because
  75. 7:53:25 PM xp194 Frankly I think a change borne of that might be the only way to go
  76. 7:53:37 PM xp194 He's got a lot of self-bullshit built up around his mind.
  77. 7:53:45 PM Chinatsu Sometimes you do need to upset Ori to make him see what's wrong.
  78. 7:53:58 PM Chinatsu If that's helping or not though is another thing entirely.
  79. 7:54:33 PM xp194 It's less making him see what's wrong
  80. 7:54:41 PM xp194 It's more trying to get him to do something about it
  81. 7:54:53 PM xp194 He will quite readily admit when something's wrong.
  82. 7:55:15 PM xp194 Actively changing his behaviour though?
  83. 7:55:19 PM Chinatsu Well, in both cases, I'd return to my former point where Nichos may have some responsibility as admin here. I respect your position and think you'll do things right when you see fit.
  84. 7:55:23 PM xp194 That seems to be beyond him
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