Total Drama Chapter 4
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- Duncan: Ahoy there, princess! Courtney: Little Lulu is so pessimistic. Duncan: I voiced a lightsaber! Courtney: That's not important. _________ Lindsay: Was it bad for me to make a potato for Cody? Heather: Lindsay, nothing is bad. Lindsay: What about Soul Bossa Nova? Heather: (Cody was a total trainwreck. I threw him onto the plane that would've hit the World Trade Center. You're welcome!) ______________ Gwen: Ah, who's voicing Chester Cheetah? Trent: A romantic gust of wind. Gwen: [Is violently fucked up] Go back to Concord. Trent: Yes, OK. (Finally, I've entered Gwen's paradise!) _____________________ Margarita on the rocks, please! Chris: According to the campers... Courtney: I was a contralto at the age of four. Chris: Henry Clerval liked eating Jell-O. Courtney: (Zoey is secretly a negro.) Chris: It's not safe here after Chef gave Mandark an STD. Zoey: (Chef gave Mandark an STD?) I made a little bit of moneeey, I paid my biiills, I paid this covuhhh, I ain't finn'a stand stiiill, now I'm finn'a wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop, wop! Ezekiel: It is essential to make that bitch sober. Bridgette: Why are you dissing her like that, man? Chris: I need to sort my toy boats. DJ: Did you steal them from Fygar?
- Chris: No, that's too tedious. Jô: (I can't stand eating flan!) Heather: (It all started...when I was born.) Chef: I'm gonna dip my balls in salsa. Duncan: hahaha they're cornering the barricades. Chef: Now! Get get get get get, in line, and settle down. [My soba noodles escaped the helicopter.] Jimmy and Sarah are going to be a team on the next Ridonculous Race. Jô: Let's cut up these Skittles. Heather: Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur... Owen: You're giving me cancer. Heahter: Oh sorry. Owen: Speaking of which... [Puts a pita chip in the mouth of Courtney] Courtney: Ahhh Owen (Achoo! Owen is so elegant!) Heather: DJ and Trent got carried away by Owen and Dakota. Dakota: [Precisely bitch.] I'm gonna take photographs the next time we go to Casa Bonita. Heather: (Is Kaleb Serna a serious person?) [Numa numa, ehhh, numa numa, ehhh, numa numa, ehhh...] Dakota: AHHHHHHH __________________________ ROLAND BARRETTS Bridgette: Have you seen The Fault In Our Stars yet? Geoff: Ew no! Bridgette: But it's got a cool director! Jô: Yeah, a mummy with his hands tied up is a "cool director." Ezekiel: I receive blowjobs from my mother! Jô: [Damn, she should've just eaten him instead.] Is there a mass water object? LeShawna: No I think cosine functions better. Jô: Eyyyy, Macarena! Duncan: That song pisses me off. (Jo is being muted from the Roland Barretts group chat.) ___________________________ SKITTLES Dakota: Do we have a rooster? Lindsay: Ahh, it's important to have sauce to go with it. (This is making me get dizzier by the moment.) Dakota: (This is most illogical.) Gwen: Trent, want to bounce on the trampoline? Trent: That would be lovely. Owen: Peter Griffin is gonna help me bash your skulls in. Gwen: (Owen needs to start eating cereal.) ___________________________ ROLAND BARRETTS Bridgette: I fucked a vending machine. Geoff: I fucked Clarabelle. Duncan: DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH MY BO-DY! (Jo is stuck taking the admissions test.) Jô: (The Bridge to Teribithia is making me cringe.) Chef: I'm busy slamming my head against the counter to Steve Aoki and Linkin Park's Waiting for a Light That Never Comes. _________________________________________ SKITTLES Trent: Let's indicate that the director is Indonesian. Lindsay: Trent I can't stop smiling! [hands movie tickets to Owen] Here's tickets to Piano Grand! [Trent and DJ clutch their stomachs in pain] Dakota: I need some NOS energy drink. Chef: But ain't that cheatin'? ["No!" says Dakota.] The customer is pink! Bridgette plays the contra with Trent Zoey plays the Contra with Owen Jô plays Contra with DJ LeShawna plays contra with Heather Duncan plays contra with Courtney Geoff plays Contra with Dakota Izzy plays Contra with Gwen Ezekiel plays Contra with Lindsay Bridgette and Trent are having sex. Gwen: I have a pet boa constrictor. CHEF: Prepare your pointed fucking devices....NOW! Bridgette: [Chica, chica, 123!] Trent: [Plays the tambourine to that song.] Without drugs, these obstacles become cancer. [If it pertains to RJ from Over the Hedge, then it should pertain to you too, Trent.] Duncan: Hahahahaha (hahahaha I'm from Ontario) Bridgette: [Flexes her ass 15 times] I'm absolutely, positively, blood-curling. Trent: [Is only able to do it seven times before straining himself] Gwen: Focus Trent, get it together! Geoff: Damn Bridgette; flex that ass! Bridgette: [Continues flexing her ass] Trent: [Strains his ass again after 14 strains] Gwen: Come on Trent, just one more at least? Heather: He's too in love with the United States of America. Bridgette: [I call that the Flaming Pegasus] Chef: Bridgette wins a ceiling fan. Zoey and Owen, be prepared! Owen: [Cuts in front of Zoey and stuffs a pita chip in her mouth.] Zoey: I can't seem to repair myself. Courtney: (Sivadon is impressed.)
- Owen stuffs pita chips in Zoey's mouth while she flexes her ass. Gwen: (Zoey seems unfazed by this.) Zoey: THE FLOOR IS LAVA! Ezekiel: No credit to her. Zoey: No no no, mademoiselle. Chef: Zoey gets a ceiling fan. Jô and DJ jump around. Jô: [I'm gonna launch DJ into space.] (Sarah from Ed, Edd n' Eddy is mind blown at the fact that David Reutimann likes both apple and cinnamon.) Heather: Buy me some penis and cracker jack! Lindsay: When cold on the way of time, cold I wanna be keeping you warm! Trent: Hey, easy mate! DJ: [I'm pretty sure flexing my ass is going to get me terminated with prejudice.] Duncan: (You're one dirty ass motherfucker, DJ.) Bridgette: Buy Jo some penis and cracker jack, too! Jô: [I threw my camcorder up an escalator.] Dammit I'm suffering from algor mortis! [The day I win the coveted title will be the day I wake up next to Antonio Banderas!] (The podiums are spinning too fast for me to guess which direction they're spinning in.) Chef: Jô wins a ceiling fan. Leshawna and Heather, look up how to be prepared on Wikipedia. Heather: (If you want to be a hip-hop artist, you must stuff yourself with empanadas.) Leshawna: (I threw my lipstick into an incinerator.) LeShawna and Heather set up camcorders at the starting line. Heather: That magic in your pants is making me blush! LeShawna: Damn girl! Neither of them seem bothered by flexing their asses.
- LeShawna orders a number 13 and Heather feels tired of this. Heather: Are you sick of your mother? LeShawna: Apparently, yes. Heather: I play hockey with a vacuum cleaner. [I ship Dennis Vega and Antonio Banderas.] Chef: Heather wins a ceiling fan. Duncan and Courtney must prepare me some bread. [Duncan pisses on Courtney.] Courtney: So far, that is ridiculous. Duncan: Sinistar thought that was good. Courtney: (Ahhhhhhhrrrrggggh is the sound a pirate makes.) _____The Obstacles for Whores Duncan: I muted pandas. Courtney: You should've just given into their demands and given them carrots, Duncan. Duncan: That's insulting. _________ Ass Flexing Courtney: Is voicing a lightsaber as important as you think it is? Duncan: Really, it is! Courtney: Seriously... -_- _____________ LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA! Duncan: All clear! Courtney: I want to throw another party. Chef: Courtney wins a ceiling fan, so now Geoff, Dakota, Lindsay, Gwen, Ezekiel and Izzy are being muted from their respective group chats until they write fanfictions out of themselves. Lindsay: (Chef smells like fish.) ____________My name is Q. Lowe! Izzy: Woah, is that a snake? Dakota: I guess it is. Lindsay: (My trip to Peru will determine if I starve.) ___________ Ass Flexing Ezekiel: MACHO, MACHO MAN!
- Geoff: Let's mess with Roland Barrett. ______________ LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA! Dakota: Do you know how to do that? Gwen: [Emperor Dakota is now a llama] (You'd seriously think carrying a lightsaber is legal by now.) __________________Water and Salad Gwen: Mint is fresh, Geoff. [Locks Geoff in a box] Chef: Gwen wins a ceiling fan. Zoey: Mice are safe? (AWESOME! BEING SEXY IS AWESOME!! HAHA!) ________________ Ultimate Challenge Chef: Every day a nigga tryna test me uh. _________________ Trump got deported. Geoff: CUZ YOU'RE A...HOT MESS, AND I'M FALLING FOR YOU! Bridgette: That's a bold statement, Geoff. Geoff: (I tore Justin from The Secret of Nimh's biceps.) Chef: You must prove yourself worthy enough to be able to [Geoff cums on him] cum on me... LeShawna: You serious? [Cums on Chef.] Trent: [Cums on Chef.] Duncan: I'm feeling super flyyyy. [Cums on Chef.] Courtney: DUNCAAAN Owen: [Stuffs a pita chip in the mouth of Heather] Heather: This tastes ridiculous! [Cums on Chef.] Courtney: hahahahaha Chef: Being salty is weird Courtney: HAHAHAHAHA [Cums on Chef.] Dakota: I want Ernesto Aguilar in my life. [Cums on Chef.] Bridgette: This is demanding. [Cums on Chef.] Lindsay: I'm a mannequin. DJ: Lindsay let's try not to be too aggressive. [Lindsay talks too much.] Courtney: hahahahaha Zoey: Take it...to the limit! [Cums on Chef.] Ezekiel: [Cums on Chef.] DJ: [Cums on Chef.] Chef: I'm waiting for The Fault in Our Stars 3 to come out. Trent: I can't resist Gwen. Gwen: I wrote a fanfic about a possum. Heather: Grasp it firmly Lindsay. Jô: Don't make me have to detain you, Izzy! Izzy: This is too tedious; let's eat some fruit. LeShawna: No Izzy! Fruit makes you horny! Izzy: [Eats some fruit] It's better than Digornio! [Cums on Chef.] Chef: The skittles met Vincent the bear! Well done; you're welcome into the Salty Spittoon. Bridgette: Under my advice, we should throw water balloons at Izzy. Jô: Good idea. ___________________ Duncan: (Ah, Izzy is a gentler person than Jo, who is too obsessed with Jay Chattaway.) _________________________ The sexy ceremony Chef: Before I go to solitary confinement for the night, Nissan Altimas go to: Bridgette, Ezekiel, Zoey, Geoff, Duncan, LeShawna and the last Nissan Altima is for . . . . Izzy Chef: Jô work on how to use a hammer properly. Jô: Vince LaSalle is a major idiot. Chef: Fingers and ligaments are the same thing.
- I'll slip you a fin for a tip.
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