Eng The Hangover Part II (2011)

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1
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,524
You've reached Dr. Stuart Price.

2
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:09,992
The office will be closed until the 24th.
If this is an emergency, please try...

3
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,167
Hi. This is Dr. Stu Price.

4
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,580
I'm getting married, so I'll be out
of the country for two weeks.

5
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:24,343
I'm not sure if I'll have cell service.
If this is a dental emergency, plea...

6
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:25,794
Nothing.

7
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,015
Daddy, please. You're not helping.

8
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:38,524
I looked into his eyes.
Not the eyes of a man.

9
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,026
The eyes of a coward.

10
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,781
Excuse me.

11
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,787
- Phil.
- Tracy.

12
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,702
I'm sorry.

13
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,833
Where the hell are you?

14
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,708
It happened again.

15
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,044
Don't say that.

16
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,207
Please.

17
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,468
No, this time we really fucked up.

18
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,176
Seriously, what is wrong with you three?

19
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,595
So much, Trace,
I don't even know where to begin.

20
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,726
Oh, God. How bad?

21
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,392
Like no wedding bad?

22
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,897
Yeah.

23
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,852
Little worse than that.

24
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,128
Mm-hm.

25
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,586
You really need to floss more.

26
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,881
Fuck that. That's why I come here.

27
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,469
Then you should come more than
once every two years.

28
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,978
- So you could bleed me of all my money?
- I never charge you a dime, Phil.

29
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:25,186
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?
- Uh, you don't, actually.

30
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,350
Come on. Just one hit.

31
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,317
Fillings look pretty good.
Any other problems?

32
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:35,534
Yeah, actually.
You're getting married in Thailand.

33
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:39,663
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.
That's two grand right there.

34
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,289
My mother-in-law's watching the kids.

35
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,701
Now she's got this whole new thing
to hold over my head.

36
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,869
Plus it takes five days to get there.

37
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,540
It's a 16-hour flight.
And it's beautiful when you get there.

38
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,834
- Whatever. it's a hassle.
- It is kind of far.

39
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,712
Lauren's been there a week
and she's still jet-lagged.

40
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,051
It's where her parents are from.
It means a lot.

41
00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,309
Who gives a shit about her parents?
Her dad hates you.

42
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,890
He doesn't hate me.

43
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,727
He's just never spoken to me.
I think it's a cultural thing.

44
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,938
Why can't you get married in Vegas
like last time? So much easier.

45
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,229
Why can't you just be excited for me?

46
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,568
This is my wedding.

47
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,574
You're really happy, huh?

48
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,081
I really am.

49
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:29,253
All right. I'm happy too.

50
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,540
Thank you.

51
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,924
It's gonna be fun.

52
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,927
Phil? Put the prescription pad back.

53
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,573
Thank you.
You know that's a felony, right?

54
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,278
Fuck you, man.

55
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,620
- Was this right up against your scrotum?
- Yep.

56
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,951
- Oh, my God. I just realized.
- What?

57
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869
I forgot to renew my passport.

58
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,287
Oh, no.

59
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,707
Good thing I did it last week.
It's in the kitchen drawer.

60
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,591
You're the best.

61
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,468
Hey, we're a team.

62
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:22,474
No, I mean, you are a good guy.
Like, a really good guy.

63
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,725
Thank you.

64
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,728
So I know you're not gonna get mad.

65
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,264
Mad? What...? Mad at what?

66
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,727
Alan found out that we're going to Thailand
for Stu's wedding.

67
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,940
So?

68
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,981
So he's heartbroken, Doug.
You guys are like his family.

69
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,149
No, your family is like his family.

70
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:44,079
All Alan talks about is the three of you.
And that weekend.

71
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,831
Wait. Is he the one that keeps calling
and hanging up?

72
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:51,670
He does that when he's upset. He doesn't
understand why he's not invited.

73
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,834
Could you just run it by Stu?

74
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,466
Just run it by him.

75
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,210
For me?

76
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,009
No fucking way.

77
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,515
Absolutely not.

78
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,142
Come on, Stu. it's killing him.

79
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,678
I don't care.

80
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,938
Honestly, the two of you
were barely invited.

81
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,848
- Oh.
- All right. I get it. I really do.

82
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,360
Just, you know what? Alan considers you
to be one of his best friends.

83
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,065
I consider Alan to be insane.

84
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,354
Stu, throw him a bone.

85
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,819
His dad pays
for everything he eats and breaks.

86
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,701
We should squeeze the old man
to cover the bachelor party.

87
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:24,907
That's good.

88
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:30,122
I'm glad you brought that up,
because this is the bachelor party.

89
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,956
- What?
- What are you talking about?

90
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,041
Yeah. it's my bachelor brunch.

91
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:39,506
Go crazy. Get some chocolate-chip
pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress.

92
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,176
That's bullshit. Ha, ha. You can't just
skip out of a bachelor party, Stu.

93
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,934
You see that?
That's orange juice with a napkin on top.

94
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,812
Do you know why?
So nobody roofies me.

95
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,770
Well, I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe
at a bachelor party.

96
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,026
Come on.
Don't you think you're overreacting?

97
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,278
No, I don't.

98
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,400
I'm still putting the broken pieces
of my psyche back together.

99
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,027
And you know what the glue is?

100
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,494
Lauren. And I'm not doing anything
to screw that up.

101
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,785
- You wouldn't be with her if it wasn't for us.
- Oh, this'll be good.

102
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,420
Stu, think about it.
You ended up ditching Melissa.

103
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,672
Two years later,
you met your true soul mate.

104
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,586
You take Vegas out of that equation,
you would have married a cunt.

105
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,092
It's okay. I'm allowed to say it.
It's a bachelor party.

106
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,723
Drink up, everybody.

107
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,680
Wait, there's no alcohol.
I forgot, we're at a fucking IHOP.

108
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,938
Well, it's my decision and it's final,
so how about a toast?

109
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,942
- This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
- Come on, Phil. Where you going?

110
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,569
I just don't get it.
He's getting married in Thailand.

111
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,607
That's great for him, but what about us?
You're just selfish.

112
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,741
Come on, sweetheart.

113
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,118
Shame on you.

114
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,246
Don't worry, Stu.
I will stand up for you no matter what.

115
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,705
Thank you.

116
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,792
But you gotta help me out
with this Alan thing.

117
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,376
Guys, I can't tell you
how much this means.

118
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,046
Alan's been waiting for the invite
ever since he got wind of the wedding.

119
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,259
I'm sure he has.

120
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,642
Yeah, he's been standing outside
by the mailbox every day.

121
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,474
- Wow, that's rough.
- Yeah. I, uh...

122
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:18,142
I'm not quite sure he ever left Vegas,
you know? He really needs this.

123
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,477
[KNOCKS ON Doom

124
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,815
What?

125
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,357
Sweetie, it's Pa Pa. You have visitors.

126
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,323
Go in slowly,
give him a chance to acclimate.

127
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,331
Hey, Alan.

128
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,788
Hey, guys.

129
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,457
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey, bud.

130
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,336
Uh... Uh, you guys wanna come in?

131
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,718
- Sure.
- Yeah, absolutely.

132
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,007
- Hey.
- Hey.

133
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,296
Hey.

134
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,800
- Hey, Stu.
- Okay. See you on the court in half...

135
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,929
Pretty cool room, Alan.

136
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,645
Oh, thanks, Phil. My dad pays my rent.

137
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,525
Alan, what the fuck?

138
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:04,187
We were supposed to delete these.
You made a promise.

139
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,233
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell?

140
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,277
I'm not cool with this at all.
You can't have these.

141
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,329
- Ha, ha.
- Chillax, Stu. Nobody ever comes in here.

142
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,081
Total violation of trust.

143
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,368
Mother, I'm done with my lunch.
It's just sitting here.

144
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,962
Sorry, honey. I'll be right up.

145
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,044
Can't believe you stopped by.
This is cool.

146
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,958
Wait a second. Al, is that Mr. Chow?

147
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,173
Yeah. We still keep in touch.

148
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,966
Stu.

149
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,382
- The guy that kidnapped us?
- He didn't kidnap us.

150
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,300
He kidnapped Black Doug. Remember?

151
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,060
It was a whole big misunderstanding.
He's actually quite charming.

152
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,057
- Alan, he's a criminal.
- Excuse me, boys.

153
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,941
- Hi, Linda.
- Hi, Dougie.

154
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,979
I guess we don't do dessert any more.
I didn't get that memo.

155
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,364
Well, I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.

156
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,733
Would a cupcake kill you?

157
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,996
- I don't think this was a good idea.
- Uh, Alan, we have a little surprise for you.

158
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,791
Stu would like to invite you
to his wedding.

159
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,660
Well, only if you're not busy.

160
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,627
Stu.

161
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,914
Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers
are in town.

162
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,333
No. They're in Raleigh-Durham
that weekend.

163
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,672
Mm.

164
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:12,715
Are you really being serious, Stu?
You're inviting me?

165
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,225
Yeah, why not? Could be fun, right?

166
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,104
- Phil, are you going?
- Of course.

167
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,278
Then it will be fun.

168
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,621
- Ah!
- Whoa, what the fuck are you doing, man?

169
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,541
It's my immunizations.
This is the last day I can do it.

170
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,957
That's supposed to be done
by a registered nurse.

171
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,623
I am a nurse. I'm just not registered.

172
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,758
Oh, Stu, look at this.

173
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,760
I bought this because I thought of you.

174
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,833
- Hey, there he is.
- Hey, Stu.

175
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,503
- Teddy. What's up? How are you?
- Good to see you, man.

176
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,638
- All right.
- Who's this guy, Stu?

177
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,720
This is Teddy, Lauren's little brother.

178
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,635
Goes to Stanford. Premed.
This is Phil, Alan and Doug.

179
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,432
- Hey, nice to meet you, man.
- Wow, Stanford? How old are you?

180
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,267
- I'm...
- Uh, he's 17. Kind of a genius.

181
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,901
Actually, I'm 16.

182
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,439
And I'm not a genius. My dad just had me
take the entrance exams early.

183
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,278
Because you're a genius.

184
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,202
- So, what are you, a doctor?
- No. Not yet. I'm premed.

185
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,989
Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?

186
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,409
- Yeah.
- Well, he turned out to be a gay.

187
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,294
- Alan.
- It's true. I read it in Teen People.

188
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,582
Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna grab a book
or something for the plane.

189
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,840
You guys want anything?

190
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,047
- No, thanks.
- I'm good.

191
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,882
I would actually love a Smartwater.

192
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,258
Cool.

193
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,514
Thanks.

194
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,719
- What’s the matter with you? He's 16.
- Yeah, Alan. Take it easy.

195
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,728
I'm a little confused.
Is he here just to see us off or what?

196
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,060
- How does this work?
- How does what work?

197
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,191
Is that person coming to the wedding?

198
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,905
Yes, Alan. My bride's little brother
is coming to the wedding.

199
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,315
Is that okay with you?

200
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,156
Well, it's just the first time I've heard of it.
You could have paged me.

201
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,659
Don't overreact. it's gonna be fine.

202
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,330
Hey. Mind if I sit?

203
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,672
- Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
- There's no wolf pack, Alan.

204
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,053
- Come on.
- It's no problem. I can find...

205
00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:00,886
- Don't be ridiculous. You're sitting here.
- Careful. That's a Louis...

206
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,926
That is a Louis Vuitton.

207
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,478
Thanks.

208
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,070
That's a nice neck roll.

209
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,404
Thanks. You can use it if you want.

210
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,277
Okay.

211
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,684
LAUREN;
Baby! Hi! on, my God!

212
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,443
Ah.

213
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,364
- How was your trip?
- It was long, but good.

214
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:49,954
This is so absolutely beautiful.
Thank you so much.

215
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,208
Of course.

216
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,620
Between Teddy and me,
you must be pretty excited.

217
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,164
Pretty soon you'll have two doctors
in the family. Ha, ha.

218
00:15:56,539 --> 00:16:00,669
You have to realize that in my country, we
don't consider dentist to be real doctors.

219
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,087
Dad.

220
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,675
Okay.

221
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:07,593
Anyway, I have to go and talk to Teddy
about his cello performance tonight.

222
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,055
See you.

223
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,722
- Ouch.
- I'm so sorry.

224
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,270
Your dad's kind of obsessed
with your brother.

225
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,356
Teddy is my dad's prized possession.

226
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,486
It's always been that way.

227
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,782
He'll warm up. I promise. Okay?

228
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,819
If you just fax it over to me,
I'll pick it up from concierge.

229
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,408
Okay. Ha, ha. Thanks, Pa Pa.

230
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:29,572
Bye-bye.

231
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663
That was, uh, my dad.
I'm a stay-at-home son.

232
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,874
We were discussing your wedding gift.
He's sparing no expense.

233
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:39,166
Oh, that's so unnecessary.

234
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,051
I've been, uh, meaning to ask.
I noticed it's a fishing village.

235
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,212
Is there a Long John Silver's
on the island?

236
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,222
You know, no, I don't think so.
I'm so sorry.

237
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,760
But we are actually sewing
some great fresh seafood.

238
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,680
- Better than Long John's'?
- Yes.

239
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,099
I'll be the judge of that.
Enjoy your evening.

240
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,109
You too. Okay.

241
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:37,474
All right.

242
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,692
Thank you, Teddy.

243
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,117
The hands of a brilliant musician...

244
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,495
and one day, a great surgeon.

245
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,290
I admit it.

246
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,168
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.

247
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,090
He seemed unattractive.

248
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,173
He lacked intelligence and imagination.

249
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,427
He was missing that spark
you look for in a man.

250
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,812
But then I look into Stu's eyes.

251
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:19,349
He reminded me of my sweet brother,
Chaiyo.

252
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,022
For those who do not know...

253
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,188
Chaiyo is learning-disabled
and lives in a group home.

254
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,203
But Chaiyo loves chok.

255
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,034
And that's when I realized...

256
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,368
Stu is chok.

257
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,373
What's chok?

258
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,874
Chok is soft white rice
in lukewarm water.

259
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,294
It has no taste.

260
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,806
We feed it to small baby
and very old people.

261
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,727
It is nourishment
that everyone can digest.

262
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,221
The world needs chok.

263
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,482
Just as the world needs people like Stu.

264
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,822
To my sweet daughter and Stu.
Congratulations.

265
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,359
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers, guys.

266
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,739
And now I believe that Teddy
has something to say.

267
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,127
Sit down. I got this.

268
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,753
Sit down, boy.

269
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,208
That was, uh, a great speech, sir.

270
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:31,763
I like the comparisons between, uh,
Stu and rice.

271
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,684
I've also prepared a few words.

272
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,770
"Hey, everybody, here are some fun facts.

273
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,687
The population in Thailand
is 63 million people.

274
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,022
It is twice the size of Wyoming.

275
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:50,444
Its chief exports are textiles,
footwear and rice.

276
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:55,863
Each year, approximately 13,000 people
are killed in car accidents in Thailand.

277
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,871
- The climate in Thailand is..."
- Alan, uh...

278
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,580
Alan, why don't you skip
to the last card there, buddy?

279
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,536
Okay. Sorry.

280
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,459
"None of you know Stu like I do."

281
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,549
Not you. Not you.

282
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,427
Not you. Not you.

283
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,887
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.

284
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:21,771
No one.

285
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,103
"I can't even tell you
what we've been through...

286
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:28,145
because we made a pact
more important than blood.

287
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,063
What I can tell you is this:

288
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,278
This is not Stu's first marriage.

289
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,786
There was a whore in Las Vegas
a couple of years ago..."

290
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,823
All right, time's up.
You can sit down, bud. You can sit down.

291
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,543
- It was good. I did good, though.
- Oh, God, you killed it.

292
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:46,454
- Okay. Thanks, Phil.
- Sit down. Yeah.

293
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,589
In your face.

294
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,100
Well, that was exactly as painful
as I expected it to be.

295
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,139
Ha, ha. Sorry.

296
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,525
Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?

297
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:12,439
- Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Phil.
- Be nice, Phil. He's extra sensitive tonight.

298
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,701
Get over it. He's your father-in-law.
He's supposed to hate you.

299
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,032
Come have a drink with me and the guys.

300
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:23,496
You know, I'm really exhausted.
We're just gonna go upstairs and crash.

301
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,410
I spoke with the manager.
He'll let us have a beach bonfire.

302
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,329
That sounds fun.

303
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,500
Nah. I'm good.

304
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:32,712
He's tired.

305
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,754
Stu. One drink with your friends.
They came all this way.

306
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,641
- I just wanna hang out with you.
- Oh, come on, just go and do me a favor:

307
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,018
Take Teddy with you.

308
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:43,678
He never gets to have any fun.

309
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,892
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.

310
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,557
- All right. One drink.
- Perfect.

311
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:49,725
- See?
- You win.

312
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,394
- See you later.
- Have fun.

313
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,359
- Got your key?
- Uh, yep. Got it right there.

314
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,401
- I'll see you in 20 minutes.
- I love you.

315
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:03,372
My Uncle Roger said
that he once saw an albino polar bear.

316
00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,408
Really? Polar bears are white.

317
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,417
How would he know if it's an albino?

318
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,042
This one was black.

319
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,506
Did you ever think
maybe it was just a black bear?

320
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:21,757
Whatevs.

321
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,602
- Okay. Here we go.
- All right.

322
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,808
- American beer.
- Let's do it.

323
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,439
Sealed bottles.

324
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,099
Thank you. All right.

325
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,110
Um, I'm not really old enough to drink.

326
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,022
Yeah, it's illegal.
Be a shame if somebody reported you.

327
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,904
Nobody's reporting anybody.

328
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,114
It's fine, Teddy. Have a little fun.

329
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,200
- Careful.
- What? Oh.

330
00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:46,783
What is this? Roasting marshmallows?
Nice touch.

331
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:50,453
- That was Alan's idea.
- Oh. Good thinking, Alan.

332
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:55,708
You know, I gotta hand it to you, Stu.
This place is paradise.

333
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,172
Not bad, right?

334
00:22:57,334 --> 00:23:01,430
And I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm actually jealous of you.

335
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,637
I mean, Lauren is an angel.

336
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,801
Yeah, she really is amazing.

337
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,220
Wow, you guys are sweet.

338
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:12,358
Not big breasts on her,
but still, solid rack for an Asian.

339
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,984
Sorry, Teddy, but it's true.

340
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,523
That's okay.

341
00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:21,068
That is just wildly inappropriate.
And yet I'm really glad you're here.

342
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,735
All you guys.

343
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:24,153
Even you, Alan.

344
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,995
It means a lot that you made the trip.
Thank you.

345
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,500
Wouldn't miss it, buddy.

346
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:33,496
Great. Now can we have our
one fucking beer, Dad?

347
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:34,788
Mm-hm.

348
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:36,966
All right. Toast.

349
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,172
Come on, stand up, guys.

350
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:41,670
Come over here, Alan.

351
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,971
To Lauren and Stu.

352
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,226
- You did it, buddy.
- You sure did.

353
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,853
Cheers.

354
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,474
What the hell?

355
00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:49,969
What?

356
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,306
No.

357
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,330
Phil?

358
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:20,546
I think it's happened again.

359
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:23,336
Alan, what the fuck did you do?

360
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:26,343
I didn't do anything. I swear to God.

361
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,263
Your hair is gone.

362
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,391
No, no.

363
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,184
UP...

364
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:42,146
Where the fuck are we?

365
00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,153
Phil, I'm scared.

366
00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:06,883
Stu, come on, get up. We got a situation.

367
00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:17,181
Oh, holy shit.

368
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,854
Where are we?

369
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:25,394
Oh, my God, Alan. Your head.

370
00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,396
No, your head.

371
00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:29,065
He's bald.

372
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:32,030
Stu, you're gonna freak out,
but it's gonna be okay.

373
00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,320
Why? What's...? Is it my teeth?

374
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,703
- It's not your teeth.
- No.

375
00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,206
- Are you sure?
- Yep.

376
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,492
- Did you check the bottoms?
- I did.

377
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,917
Oh, my God.

378
00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:47,257
What the fuck? Ow!

379
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,424
That's good.
Why don't you try to wash it off?

380
00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:52,930
It's not coming off!

381
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:56,850
This is a real tattoo!

382
00:27:57,467 --> 00:27:59,390
Alan, what did you do?
Did you roofie me?

383
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,898
- I didn't do anything.
- Stu, he swore to God.

384
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,726
What happened?

385
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,568
- Oh, jeez!
- What is it?! What is it?!

386
00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:12,699
Help! Back there! What are you'?!

387
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,572
Did you see that jump?

388
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:17,454
- Oh, what the hell?!
- Oh, it's a monkey.

389
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,707
Look at the cute little vest.
Hi, little monkey.

390
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,618
Alan. Alan.

391
00:28:23,452 --> 00:28:24,578
Butthole.

392
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,169
- Phone.
- Hi, monkey.

393
00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:30,426
Look, Alan, Alan, go find the phone.

394
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,965
I got it.

395
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:35,635
Doug. Doug. Where the hell are you?

396
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:38,596
I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
You guys coming down or what?

397
00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:41,387
Oh, Jesus. Thank God. Doug's fine.

398
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,806
Stu, Doug's fine! He's at the resort.

399
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,645
Why aren't we at the resort?

400
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,354
What's going on? Where are you?

401
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:51,063
I don't know, man. We woke up
in some shithole room in some city.

402
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,483
Oh, God. What city?

403
00:28:53,649 --> 00:28:56,653
I don't know, Doug. Fucking Asia Town.

404
00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:59,120
I don't know. I told you.

405
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:00,997
Where are we?

406
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,079
I have no fucking idea.

407
00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:08,497
- Hey, Stu.
- What?

408
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,004
Check this out.

409
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,504
You ever seen anything like this?

410
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,854
- What is that?
- Careful!

411
00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:27,357
Might be a spider's nest.
I've tangled with those before.

412
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:32,238
I don't get it, man. I mean,
we each had one beer last night, right?

413
00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:35,320
- I mean, you too.
- Yeah, but I left early, remember?

414
00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:37,029
I don't remember shit.

415
00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,695
Tracy wasn't feeling well.
She came down to get me.

416
00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,993
Wait a second. Is Teddy with you guys?

417
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:44,328
Teddy? What?
What are you talking about?

418
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,869
They've been looking for him
all morning.

419
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:49,709
- Teddy went to Stanford, right?
- Yeah. Why?

420
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:51,547
Fuck!

421
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:54,884
I just found his finger.

422
00:29:55,502 --> 00:29:56,924
What?

423
00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:00,049
I just found his fucking finger, Doug.

424
00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,637
Phil, what is going on?

425
00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:05,228
All right. All right, all right, all right.

426
00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,061
This is what we're gonna do.
Tell the girls that we woke up early...

427
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:10,225
and went on a fishing trip.
That's where we are.

428
00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:12,486
- Right.
- All right, stay by the phone.

429
00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:15,359
Shit!

430
00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,786
All right, we got a little bit of a problem.

431
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,744
What is that?

432
00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:27,292
We don't know.

433
00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:29,995
Is it a worm?

434
00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:32,381
It's a mushroom.

435
00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:35,758
Yeah, shiitake.

436
00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:39,805
Monkey, taste it. What do you think?
Is it shiitake?

437
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,215
He can't understand you.

438
00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:43,926
He just did.

439
00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:45,768
Why is he pulling on it?

440
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:47,554
He's probably hungry.

441
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,689
Wait a second. Is that...?

442
00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,772
Aah! What the fuck, man?!

443
00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:55,232
Tell that gay monkey
to leave my shit alone!

444
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,692
Chow'?!

445
00:30:57,439 --> 00:30:59,407
You fucking crazy.

446
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,119
Ah, so fucking light in here.

447
00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:03,449
Alan.

448
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:05,572
Grab me my sunglasses.

449
00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:10,620
- It's great to see you, Leslie.
- Mm. Nice to see you too, my little hobo.

450
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,709
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?

451
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,546
Alan called me a few days ago
and invited me to wedding.

452
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,881
- Excuse me?
- What? He's my plus one.

453
00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:21,138
You didn't have a plus one.
It's $200 a plate.

454
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:24,641
Guys, guys. Just focus, okay?
Chow, what happened?

455
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,475
You guys texted me, said you fucked up
and looking to party.

456
00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:38,731
I picked you up in my boat
and I brought you here to Bangkok.

457
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:40,865
And we had a sick night, bitches!

458
00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:44,324
Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a second, Chow.

459
00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,238
Chow, we're in Bangkok?

460
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:50,126
Holler! City of squalor!

461
00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:51,626
Do you know how I got this tattoo?

462
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:55,130
Uh, yeah. From a fucking tattoo guy.

463
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:57,791
Come on, Stewie.
Use that big Jewish brain.

464
00:31:57,958 --> 00:31:59,756
Hey, what's the monkey holding?

465
00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,051
That's a finger!

466
00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:06,433
Stu, I got some bad news.

467
00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:09,720
Teddy was with us last night.

468
00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,392
That's his finger.

469
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,978
Teddy... Teddy's dead?

470
00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:18,191
Ha, ha. Teddy not dead.
He party with us all night.

471
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:19,525
Well, then where is he?

472
00:32:19,688 --> 00:32:21,281
Don't you remember anything?

473
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,860
- No!
- No. Nothing, Chow.

474
00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:27,996
Okay, okay. I explain it all, okay?

475
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,700
Just let me do one bump,
get my head straight.

476
00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,868
Come to papa.

477
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:36,046
- Okay.
- That's a big...

478
00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:45,173
You ready for craziest fucking story of...

479
00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:56,895
Chow.

480
00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:00,737
Mr. Chow, are you okay?

481
00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:05,696
You gotta be kidding me.

482
00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:13,499
Fuck, he's dead.

483
00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,507
- Help!
- Stu.

484
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:23,009
- Help! Help!
- Stu, shut up.

485
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,340
Stu, shut up. Stu, shut up!

486
00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:27,510
- Call an ambulance!
- Shut up!

487
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,677
He's dead. Look, if someone comes and
finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine...

488
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:34,312
we'll spend the rest of our lives
in a Thai prison. Shh!

489
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,103
Alan. Alan, please stop crying.

490
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:44,281
All right. All right!
I just need a second to figure this out.

491
00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:21,647
This is the worst idea ever.
What the fuck is this place?

492
00:34:21,810 --> 00:34:25,531
"Bangkok is the capital of Thailand.
Its population is 12 million people."

493
00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:28,283
Alan, put the cards away and help.

494
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,452
Elevator.

495
00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,788
I'll get the button. I'll get the button.

496
00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:42,623
What the fuck is the deal
with this monkey?

497
00:34:42,789 --> 00:34:44,837
That monkey gets it.

498
00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:47,928
- Come on.
- Oh, fuck. No, the power's out.

499
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,464
- We gotta take the stairs.
- Ah, fuck!

500
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:52,136
Come on.

501
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,521
Here it is.

502
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:03,268
Feet first, feet first. I've done this before.

503
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,816
Alan.

504
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,862
All right. Careful. Careful.

505
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,839
- Stu.
- What?

506
00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,972
We still have to find Teddy.

507
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,058
Oh, God.

508
00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:47,896
The roof!

509
00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:49,814
- Teddy!
- Teddy!

510
00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:54,202
- Teddy! Teddy!
- Teddy! Teddy!

511
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,620
ALAN;
Teddy!

512
00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,749
- You guys see anything?
- No.

513
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:09,339
Come on. Where are you, buddy?

514
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,010
He's not here.

515
00:36:16,049 --> 00:36:19,223
I can't believe this is happening again.

516
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,938
Okay. Look, we'll handle this.
You get back there.

517
00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:29,605
You tell them that Alan and I
got drunk with him, we're still partying.

518
00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,990
- You gotta go get married.
- No, no.

519
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,776
I'm not going back without Teddy.

520
00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:37,787
It's Lauren's little brother,
he's lost, he's injured.

521
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,867
If I fuck this up...

522
00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,661
I lose everything.

523
00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:48,460
Okay.

524
00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,130
All right.

525
00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,883
Alan, check your pockets.

526
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,468
- What?
- You know the drill.

527
00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:58,804
Come on, there might be clues.

528
00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:02,267
- Check your phones. Numbers, texts.
- Oh, that's a good idea.

529
00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:04,723
- I got nothing. Fuck.
- Me neither.

530
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:06,812
- I got a text from Chow.
- What time?

531
00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,977
Uh, 10:00 last night.

532
00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,646
What's it say?

533
00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,531
"On my way, niggas."

534
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,816
Oh, niggas. Okay.

535
00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:16,280
Hip-hop.

536
00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:22,992
We are so fucked.

537
00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,332
- Hey, Phil.
- What?

538
00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:28,337
Look who's back. Hi.

539
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:33,001
We gotta get you out of the sun.
Get you a hat.

540
00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:34,966
Yeah. Yeah.

541
00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:38,799
Phil, I really think we should go
to the American Consulate.

542
00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:41,718
For what? Report a dead body
we shoved into an ice machine?

543
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:44,855
Are we gonna keep walking in circles?
That's real productive.

544
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,812
I'm trying to figure this out.
Your attitude is not helping.

545
00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:51,103
Well, I'm sorry. It's 100 degrees
and we don't have a plan.

546
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,363
And all we've done is buy him hats
and sodas.

547
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:54,864
What? it's a bag of Fanta.

548
00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:57,617
- All right, what do you wanna do, Stu?
- I don't know.

549
00:37:57,776 --> 00:38:00,370
- Then stop yelling at me like it's my fault.
- It is your fault!

550
00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:03,369
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.

551
00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:05,704
Shit. Shut up, it's Doug. Talk to me.

552
00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:09,041
Just got off the phone with Bangkok P.D.
They got him. He's okay.

553
00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:12,378
Oh. Thank God. Doug found him.

554
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,213
- What happened?
- He got arrested.

555
00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:17,219
- Arrested? For what?
- Disorderly conduct.

556
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:19,551
- Seriously?
- Yeah. He's okay, though.

557
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:23,264
They'll release him to you, no questions
asked. No one here has to know.

558
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:25,474
He's at the, uh...

559
00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:28,811
"Ratchawang Police Station."

560
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:31,226
Okay. Okay,
I'll call you when we get there.

561
00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:35,147
- Teddy's in jail, but fine. We gotta get a cab.
- Okay. All right.

562
00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:42,904
- Yes, I have his paperwork here.
- Okay.

563
00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:45,073
- He has been cleared.
- Sounds good.

564
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,038
- Of course.
- Thank you.

565
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,703
We're good, we're good.
They're processing for release.

566
00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,752
Yeah, they threw him in the drunk tank.
He's fine.

567
00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:57,052
Sixteen years old, spent a night in jail.
Can you imagine?

568
00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,092
We love to party.

569
00:39:04,217 --> 00:39:06,015
Here we go.

570
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,105
- Wait, who's this fucking guy?
- Teddy Srisai.

571
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:10,766
What...? No, no, no. I'm so...

572
00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,559
It's the wrong guy. Sir.

573
00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:14,773
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Uh, there's been a mistake.

574
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:17,610
He brought the wrong guy.
That's not Teddy.

575
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:20,616
Of course it is.
We have his IDs and everything.

576
00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,283
These were in his pockets
when we made the arrest.

577
00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:25,571
They were in his pocket?

578
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:28,787
Excuse me, sir.

579
00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,123
How did you get this stuff?

580
00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:34,080
Hello?

581
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:35,882
Teddy doesn't speak.

582
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,385
We tried English, Thai, Chinese.
Nothing.

583
00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:40,966
Let me ask you something.

584
00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:45,600
Does he look like he works out at
Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?

585
00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:49,311
Look, we arrest a lot of people.

586
00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:52,644
We cannot analyze everything. All right?

587
00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,980
Well, what do you expect us to do
with this guy?

588
00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:56,269
Not my problem.

589
00:39:57,687 --> 00:39:59,064
Hey, guys?

590
00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:01,483
I think he knows us.

591
00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:03,322
Hi. Hello.

592
00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:11,251
Do you know where our friend is?!
Teddy! He's missing!

593
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,503
Stu, forget it. The guy's worthless.

594
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:17,006
He knows something.
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.

595
00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:19,796
What if he just doesn't understand?

596
00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:23,839
Uh, I'll act it out.
Yeah, like charades. Watch.

597
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,257
- Two words.
- Is it a movie?

598
00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,185
This is not for you, Alan.

599
00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:34,349
American teenager in Asia.

600
00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,643
Karate Kid with Jaden Smith.

601
00:40:37,352 --> 00:40:39,696
It's easy because
you were talking through it.

602
00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:41,610
Stu, it's a waste of time.

603
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:43,696
Just leave this fucking guy here.

604
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,613
Oh, here's something. "There are
500,000 monks living in Thailand.

605
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:51,875
It is not uncommon for some monks
to take a vow of silence...

606
00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:55,378
at the age of 8."
- There you go.

607
00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:58,255
- Is there anything else in that envelope?
- No, it's empty.

608
00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:00,841
Whoa, hang on.

609
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,471
A drink card from White Lion Bar,
Bangkok?

610
00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:08,141
Worth a shot.

611
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:12,854
Jesus Christ. Is this the right street?

612
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:14,229
That's what it says.

613
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:23,569
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is the White Lion.

614
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,905
What the fuck happened here?

615
00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,411
Holy shit.

616
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:36,336
- Oh, okay. Just keep walking. Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah, we should probably...

617
00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:41,758
- Ah!
- All right. it's okay.

618
00:41:42,583 --> 00:41:44,256
What the fuck is going on here?

619
00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,924
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guys, check it out.

620
00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:52,678
Holy shit. Stu, look.

621
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:54,266
That's my face.

622
00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:56,181
Go, go, go.

623
00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:58,103
Nice work, Alan.

624
00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:03,021
- Hello?
- Be with you in a minute.

625
00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:08,576
Excuse me.

626
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,453
Oh, look who it is.

627
00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:13,038
So, what do you think?

628
00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,369
What? I'm sorry?

629
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,534
The tattoo? You love it?

630
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,541
Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.

631
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:21,798
No refunds. Get the fuck out.

632
00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:23,879
- Wait a second.
- Read the sign.

633
00:42:25,793 --> 00:42:28,637
We don't want a refund.
We just have a couple of questions.

634
00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:30,924
Trying to figure out
what went down last night.

635
00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:32,387
"What went down"?

636
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:35,269
Look what you did outside.
Half the neighborhood went down.

637
00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:36,475
We did that?

638
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:39,641
You don't remember getting into a bar fight
at the White Lion?

639
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:41,559
Starting a full-on fucking riot?

640
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:45,230
No, sir. We don't remember anything.

641
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:52,703
Hold this. Oh, boy.

642
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,327
Check this out.

643
00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:00,666
Holy shit.

644
00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:06,585
Fuck the police!

645
00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,503
Fuck the police!

646
00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:13,303
There's Teddy. He was with us.

647
00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:29,399
Jesus Christ.

648
00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:32,489
That's when the cops arrived,
started cracking skulls.

649
00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:34,950
I took you guys
and hid you in the shop here.

650
00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:38,996
Then you decided to get a tattoo.
Cried like a little bitch.

651
00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:42,705
This kid's fucking 9 years old.
He's got balls twice your size.

652
00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:46,208
- Show him your balls, man.
- No, no, no. That's okay.

653
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,379
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy.
Have you seen him?

654
00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:52,513
Not since last night. What happened?

655
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:56,017
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister
tomorrow and we kind of lost him.

656
00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:59,728
Oh, well. Then fuck it.

657
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:01,355
What do you mean, "fuck it"?

658
00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:06,227
Bangkok has him now
and she'll never let him go.

659
00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,067
You hear that? Huh?

660
00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:10,197
- Is this what you wanted? Happy now?
- Phil.

661
00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:14,156
You're wasting your time.
These monks take their vow shit seriously.

662
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,490
Look at this.

663
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:18,702
That's the sign of the Chiang Mei
monastery just outside of town.

664
00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:21,705
Maybe somebody over there
can get him to talk.

665
00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:30,210
Can we just go over this one more time?
You got the beer from...?

666
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:32,595
The hotel bar.
They gave me a sealed case.

667
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:35,723
- Right. But who gave it to you?
- The bartender.

668
00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:37,429
Right. Okay.

669
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:39,765
And then you brought them out
and I opened them.

670
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:43,431
Yeah, and Doug had one and he was fine,
so it's not the beer.

671
00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:45,858
- So, what the hell happened?
- I have no idea.

672
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:49,021
Hey, guys. Check it out,
he's got a Chinese boner.

673
00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:51,440
Alan, come on. Cut it out.

674
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,869
The monkey is a pervert.

675
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,905
Come on, that is so wrong.

676
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:01,790
Hey, don't stop, monkey, keep doing it.

677
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:13,132
When a monkey nibbles on a penis,
it's funny in any language.

678
00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:17,469
Oh, keep doing it!

679
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:21,143
All right. Thank you.

680
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,804
We good?

681
00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:26,858
Bye, Shannon. Bye, Lil Wayne.

682
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,902
Wow.

683
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,655
So beautiful.

684
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,871
What is this, a P.F. Chang's?

685
00:45:46,327 --> 00:45:48,705
Ah, they're meditating.

686
00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:52,629
- Such a peaceful people.
- Yeah.

687
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:54,464
Knock, knock! Hello?!

688
00:45:54,627 --> 00:45:57,506
Alan, Alan, show some respect.
Don't get up, guys.

689
00:45:58,172 --> 00:46:00,425
We brought one of your guys back.

690
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:03,344
He's really funny.
He's really nice and cool.

691
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,231
Hi, how you doing?
Uh, are you the one in charge?

692
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:11,022
- Hey! Aah!
- Excuse me. Ow!

693
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,437
- Wait! Ah!
- stop in

694
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,355
Just calm down! Aah!

695
00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:15,614
Hold on! Ah!

696
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:18,151
It's because" Ow! We're talking! Ah!

697
00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:20,490
Stop talking. Goddamn it!

698
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:21,996
Don't! Stop!

699
00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:23,371
Wait! it's me!

700
00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:24,657
Stop hitting me!

701
00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:25,871
Oh, I get it.

702
00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:32,047
No talk. No talk.

703
00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:35,551
Shh. Okay. We no talk.

704
00:46:39,547 --> 00:46:40,594
Okay.

705
00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,054
- Asshole.
- I get it, I get it.

706
00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:06,325
Late last night, you climbed the walls
of our monastery...

707
00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:12,247
shouting out question about love,
marriage and the meaning of life.

708
00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:19,175
Poor Brother Han was meditating alone
in the garden and you took him.

709
00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:21,840
Oh, my God.

710
00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:24,183
We kidnapped a monk.

711
00:47:24,633 --> 00:47:26,852
Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle.

712
00:47:27,011 --> 00:47:31,938
And we are so sorry about that,
but we weren't ourselves last night.

713
00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:34,773
Yup, things kind of spun out
of control a little bit.

714
00:47:34,935 --> 00:47:38,940
But there's a boy who's missing
and hurt.

715
00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,484
Can you find out if he knows
where our friend is?

716
00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:44,905
Brother Han took a vow of silence
many years ago.

717
00:47:45,071 --> 00:47:47,073
It would be useless to try.

718
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:51,619
Well, maybe he can write down
what happened on a piece of paper.

719
00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:54,460
Actually, that would be cheating.
Right, Grand Wizard?

720
00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:57,466
- Alan.
- I'm afraid Fatty is right.

721
00:47:57,625 --> 00:47:59,627
See? What?

722
00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:03,219
None us will ever know what
Brother Han knows.

723
00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:04,633
Oh, all right.

724
00:48:04,799 --> 00:48:07,928
So much for holy people.
Bunch of bald assholes. Come on, let's go.

725
00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:11,815
Hey, you know what? FYI, you may wanna
put some signs up that say "no talking"...

726
00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:14,816
...before you unleash your dragon.
- Yeah, that was a little rough.

727
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:19,230
You're welcome for bringing him back safe.
You know, we found him in a drunk tank.

728
00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,115
We did take him in the first place.

729
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,071
Come on, guys, let's go.

730
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,323
Wait.

731
00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:27,663
The Buddha teach:

732
00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:31,625
Every memory lives somewhere
deep within.

733
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:36,505
Perhaps you should bring your question
to the garden of meditation.

734
00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:39,550
- Did you understand a word he said?
- About two-thirds.

735
00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,676
Something about the garden
of meditation?

736
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:44,760
No, he said he's farting
because of his medication.

737
00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:46,340
I get that.

738
00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:55,149
This is a waste of time.
I don't remember anything.

739
00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:57,318
Do you?

740
00:48:57,476 --> 00:49:00,104
No. I got nothing.

741
00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:02,573
Alan?

742
00:49:05,067 --> 00:49:06,284
Alan?

743
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:12,708
Every memory lives somewhere
deep within.

744
00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:14,710
- Sweetie?
- What?

745
00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,542
You have visitors.

746
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,547
- Hey, Alan.
- Hey, guys.

747
00:49:18,706 --> 00:49:20,379
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey, buddy.

748
00:49:20,541 --> 00:49:24,045
- Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
- Is this true, Stuart?

749
00:49:24,670 --> 00:49:26,468
Yeah, why not? it'll be fun.

750
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,218
- What the fuck?
- To Lauren and Stu.

751
00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:32,728
Cheers.

752
00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:37,854
- Chow?
- We had a sick night, bitches!

753
00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:40,895
- Yeah!
- Alan, what the fuck?

754
00:49:42,396 --> 00:49:44,069
Is that person coming to the wedding?

755
00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:45,608
There is no wolf pack.

756
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,448
- Alan, don't do that!
- "The population in Thailand is..."

757
00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:52,081
And we're the three best friends
That anybody could have

758
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,420
Hey!

759
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:04,085
Yeah! Fuck the police! Fuck the police!

760
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,140
I know where to go.

761
00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:22,937
What do you think, Alan?

762
00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:25,105
Uh, this is the place.

763
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:26,569
Come on, let's go.

764
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,199
I don't remember any of this.

765
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,788
Yeah, Alan,
are you sure this is the place?

766
00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,953
Yeah, pretty sure.

767
00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:48,387
Bros, finally!

768
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,220
Is he coming or what?
I've been waiting all day for him.

769
00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,642
Uh, I'm sorry. Waiting for who?

770
00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:55,394
Chow, that dick-ass fuck.

771
00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:59,310
- Why, what's wrong?
- Nothing. Nothing's wrong.

772
00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:01,271
Okay, good. Look at this.

773
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:04,312
Look what I bring for him.
Check it out, huh? Huh?

774
00:51:04,812 --> 00:51:07,486
- No, no, no.
- $6000, American.

775
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,742
Wow, it looks so real.

776
00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,079
Sorry. Ahem. Sorry.

777
00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:19,744
Alan! What the fuck?!

778
00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:23,665
It's okay! it's okay.
The gun, very sensitive. Very sensitive.

779
00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:25,674
- Everybody okay?
- Yeah, okay.

780
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:29,087
Okay? Then get the fuck back to work!

781
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,470
Come on! Music, please!

782
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,307
Who has my $6000?

783
00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:37,265
No, no, no. That's Chow's deal.
We got nothing to do with that.

784
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,180
Un-fucking-believable, man.

785
00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:43,396
This guy, if he backs out again,
this shit is gonna catch up to him, okay?

786
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,859
He's made a lot of enemies in this town
and now they're your enemies.

787
00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:48,147
That's not fair!

788
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,988
Okay, listen.
We're just looking for a little kid.

789
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,868
- Two thousand dollars.
- What?!

790
00:51:53,027 --> 00:51:55,871
I don't know. Maybe more.
How young you want this kid to be?

791
00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:59,034
No! No, no, no. Sorry.
You misunderstood.

792
00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:03,545
We're looking for our friend,
16 years old, Teddy?

793
00:52:03,704 --> 00:52:06,378
Teddy?
Yeah, he was here with you guys last night.

794
00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,463
He was?
You remember if he left with us?

795
00:52:08,626 --> 00:52:12,176
You were in the corner all night
with Kimmy. I didn't see you leave.

796
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,181
Kimmy? Kimmy? Is she here?

797
00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:17,560
Yeah, she's in the back.
She just came for her shift. Go talk to her.

798
00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,767
Listen, I'm sorry about everything
that happened.

799
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:23,102
Pay attention what
I'm gonna talk to you now.

800
00:52:23,265 --> 00:52:27,520
When you see Chow,
you tell him Samir says hello.

801
00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,654
- Okay.
- But do it like that, okay?

802
00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:31,736
Hello. Like threatening.

803
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,196
Like ironic.

804
00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:35,535
- Hello.
- Okay.

805
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:39,661
- Hello.
- Hello.

806
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:42,201
- Hello.
- More O. Hello.

807
00:52:42,368 --> 00:52:43,415
Hello.

808
00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:46,171
Go away, go away.
Fucking make me crazy.

809
00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:50,380
Of course I remember him.
He was buying shots for everyone.

810
00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:53,921
Nice kid. His parents must be so proud.

811
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:55,510
Yeah. You have no idea.

812
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,175
Okay, so do you remember
if he left with us?

813
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:02,722
Yeah, you all were leaving together,
but you almost forgot this one right here.

814
00:53:02,888 --> 00:53:05,311
- Right, superstar?
- Hmm.

815
00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:09,854
This one was following me around
like a little puppy dog all night.

816
00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:13,240
Saying how he fall in love with me
and ask me to marry him.

817
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,701
Classic Stu.

818
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:20,698
- We didn't get married, did we?
- Of course not.

819
00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,866
We just had some fun
in the Chardonnay Room.

820
00:53:23,325 --> 00:53:25,544
What, uh... What happens
in the Chardonnay Room?

821
00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,626
Let's just stay on task here.

822
00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:30,632
Oh, you know. Dance for him.
He tickle me. We had sex.

823
00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,919
- I massage his shoulders.
- Fuck!

824
00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:35,463
It's okay. You're not married yet.
It's no big deal.

825
00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:37,757
It's cheating, okay?

826
00:53:37,923 --> 00:53:42,224
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
It's a violation of my moral code.

827
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:45,060
Don't be sad. Stu, you love it.

828
00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:47,896
You were crying,
saying how special it was.

829
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,981
Wait. Ha, ha. I'm sorry, he was crying?

830
00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:51,487
What a baby. He was crying.

831
00:53:51,645 --> 00:53:55,741
You should have seen him.
He was so sexy, the way he move around.

832
00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:59,241
I had to ask him slow down
so I don't drop my load too quick.

833
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,832
Load? What load?

834
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:06,665
Oh, you know. My sperms.

835
00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:11,590
Eh, I think your English is off.
You're talking about my sperms.

836
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,297
Where would your sperm come from?

837
00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:15,837
From my balls.

838
00:54:16,003 --> 00:54:17,300
Hold on. Back up.

839
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:20,012
Wait, wait. Are you...?

840
00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,643
Hey. You in Bangkok, sweetie.

841
00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:24,849
There's a reason
they don't call it Bangcunt.

842
00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:26,605
Oh!

843
00:54:30,851 --> 00:54:32,353
Oh, my God.

844
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:34,738
Wow.

845
00:54:36,356 --> 00:54:38,950
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?

846
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:44,203
Come on, Stu. It was beautiful.
We climaxed at the same time.

847
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:46,454
How's that work?

848
00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:49,712
Shoot my load into you,
you shoot your load on the floor.

849
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:52,214
- Okay.
- You shot your load in me?

850
00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,878
In my bottom?

851
00:54:55,209 --> 00:54:57,086
Oh, God.

852
00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:07,062
Stu, it's not the end of the world.

853
00:55:07,221 --> 00:55:09,394
I'm sorry, but I am so confused.

854
00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:13,728
I made love to a man with boobies.

855
00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:17,569
Listen, I promise you no one's ever
gonna find out about this.

856
00:55:17,731 --> 00:55:19,233
But we just found out about it.

857
00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:21,697
And then we forget. That's what we do.

858
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,739
I've done so much fucked up shit,
and I just forget about it.

859
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:28,535
- You have?
- Yeah. You just forget. It goes away.

860
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:32,747
That might be harder to go away,
but in time it'll happen.

861
00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:34,756
That's what I'm gonna do.

862
00:55:35,541 --> 00:55:37,088
I'm just gonna forget about it.

863
00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:38,753
- Never happened.
- Right.

864
00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,757
Phone. Phone. Who is it? Answer.

865
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,425
Lauren's dad.

866
00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:45,888
It just reminded me.

867
00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:47,598
- Answer it.
- I can't.

868
00:55:47,761 --> 00:55:50,514
He might know something about Teddy.
We still have a shot.

869
00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:54,561
- I can't.
- Get your head back into the fucking game.

870
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,617
- Hello?
- Who takes an all-day fishing trip...

871
00:56:01,775 --> 00:56:03,573
the day before a wedding?

872
00:56:03,735 --> 00:56:07,080
Yeah, ha, ha.
I guess it was kind of stupid.

873
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:08,786
Put Teddy on the phone.

874
00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:13,871
- Uh, Teddy's seasick, actually.
- Seasick?

875
00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:16,711
Teddy's been a maritime deck cadet
since he was 9.

876
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:19,297
Well, that's weird,
because he's puking everywhere.

877
00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:22,554
I'm gonna tell you something
that you did not know.

878
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,090
I don't like you.

879
00:56:24,256 --> 00:56:26,930
- Yeah, I knew that already.
- My daughter chooses you...

880
00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:29,094
that's her problem.
- Hey, it's Phil Winnick.

881
00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:32,515
Listen, I apologize. We've been reeling in
some crazy marlin, and I just want...

882
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:36,147
- Phil!
- Phil!

883
00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:37,311
Jesus.

884
00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:39,571
- Phil? You're okay.
- Fuck me.

885
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:40,982
Give us back our monkey.

886
00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:42,775
What monkey? Get your own monkey!

887
00:56:43,191 --> 00:56:45,319
Come on, you asshole.
The fucking monkey.

888
00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:47,329
Come on.

889
00:56:47,487 --> 00:56:49,615
Any time, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us.

890
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:51,124
This is our monkey.

891
00:56:51,283 --> 00:56:54,913
Alan, no one's getting shot over
a fucking monkey. Hand him over now.

892
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:58,252
Oh, God, I never get to keep no monkeys.

893
00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:05,214
Hey, check it out.
He's got a banana on his helmet.

894
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:07,678
- These guys are the real deal.
- What's happening?

895
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:10,845
Hold on. How did this happen?
Do you know where our friend is?

896
00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:13,855
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah, 16 years old, Asian kid?

897
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:18,023
No, I don't understand what he said.

898
00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:20,612
What did he say? What did he say?!

899
00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:23,445
He said, "Fuck you and your question."

900
00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:26,694
Oh, my arm!

901
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:29,033
Poor Phil! Phil, are you okay?

902
00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:33,409
Oh, I got shot. Fuck! Fuck, guys.

903
00:57:33,575 --> 00:57:37,876
It's all right, Phil. We'll figure this all out
and get the monkey back. I promise.

904
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,006
No one gives a fuck
about the monkey, Alan!

905
00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:42,384
Oh, shit, look at my arm.

906
00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:45,386
What the fuck is going on?!

907
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:48,139
Stu, am I gonna be okay?
You're a doctor.

908
00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:51,017
I don't know. Let me look, let me look.

909
00:57:52,552 --> 00:57:54,225
What? What?

910
00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:55,890
Stu, come here. No, look at it.

911
00:57:56,056 --> 00:57:59,230
Stuart Price, get your ass back over here!

912
00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:00,815
- You got shot!
- I know!

913
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,459
- Hey.
- Yo. You all right?

914
00:58:19,621 --> 00:58:21,373
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay.

915
00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:26,137
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm.
Eight stitches.

916
00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:28,756
Only cost $6. How's that even possible?

917
00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,721
How's any of this even possible?

918
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:37,936
I mean, if I was a foot to my left,
Stu, I'd be dead.

919
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:42,440
What are we gonna do?

920
00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:50,118
I'm sorry, guys.
This wasn't part of the plan.

921
00:58:51,987 --> 00:58:53,785
What plan, Alan?

922
00:58:55,073 --> 00:58:56,700
I've said too much already.

923
00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:07,795
Alan, what plan?

924
00:59:09,421 --> 00:59:11,139
This is all Teddy's fault.

925
00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:12,800
What are you talking about, Alan?

926
00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:15,139
Why is he here?
He's not part of the wolf pack.

927
00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:18,146
Alan, what did you do?

928
00:59:18,305 --> 00:59:21,434
It's not my fault. Teddy shouldn't have
been sharing from his bag.

929
00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:24,235
What bag?

930
00:59:24,394 --> 00:59:27,489
The marshmallows.
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.

931
00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:31,151
But it was dark, it was hard to keep track,
and then you almost sat on them.

932
00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:33,662
I couldn't tell which was which.
It was mayhem.

933
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,868
What did you do to the marshmallows,
Alan?

934
00:59:36,281 --> 00:59:38,784
Alan? What did you do?

935
00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:42,705
Well, isn't it obvious?
I spiked them with muscle relaxers.

936
00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,169
And, plus, my ADHD medication.

937
00:59:45,332 --> 00:59:47,300
- What?!
- You drugged us again?!

938
00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:51,134
Not you. I just wanted to knock out Teddy
so we could enjoy the weekend.

939
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:55,972
"Enjoy the weekend"'? Alan, you told me
that you didn't do anything.

940
00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,807
Alan, you swore to God.

941
00:59:57,969 --> 01:00:00,222
I just wanted things to stay the same.

942
01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:02,561
Look at my face!

943
01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:04,351
You ruined my life!

944
01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:05,940
You're not my friend.

945
01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:08,856
Don't say that, Phil. Are you serious?
Even in America?

946
01:00:09,022 --> 01:00:12,868
- Yes!
- Oh, God. Don't say that, Phil.

947
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,369
Don't start crying, Alan.

948
01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:16,030
You're the bearded devil!

949
01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:19,325
You liked it. You smiled at me when
I held up the marshmallows.

950
01:00:19,741 --> 01:00:23,371
Because I like marshmallows,
you fucking psycho!

951
01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:27,341
Hey! Whoa, whoa, hold on! Stop!

952
01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:29,046
- Guys, guys. Enough.
- Why?!

953
01:00:29,209 --> 01:00:31,382
Why, Alan?! Why?!

954
01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:34,386
Because we're the three best friends,
remember?

955
01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:36,216
Remember?

956
01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:39,557
Stu, that's enough. That's enough.

957
01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:41,187
Fuck.

958
01:00:42,764 --> 01:00:45,563
Guys, we can't fall apart now.
We gotta stick together.

959
01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:55,532
- Alan, what's that written on your belly?
- What? Huh?

960
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:59,574
"Lebua Hotel. Saturday, 6 p.m."
Did you write that?

961
01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:01,161
No.

962
01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:04,832
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.

963
01:01:05,287 --> 01:01:07,164
What about England?
Are we friends there?

964
01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:09,583
I told you,
it was in the heat of the moment.

965
01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:12,753
We're still friends, all over the world.

966
01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:15,638
- Even Great Britain?
- Yeah. Mm-hm.

967
01:01:17,591 --> 01:01:19,514
Well, what about you, Stu?

968
01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:22,061
We'll see.

969
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,682
Gentlemen, follow me.

970
01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:29,815
All right.

971
01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:40,952
Here you go.

972
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,077
Well.

973
01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,588
It's about time. Sit down.

974
01:01:48,747 --> 01:01:50,715
- Come on, sit, sit, sit.
- Okay.

975
01:01:51,082 --> 01:01:53,210
Wow, you guys look like shit.

976
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,550
- Uh, do we know you?
- Hey.

977
01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:01,935
Take off your fucking hat.
You're in a restaurant, for chrissake.

978
01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:09,650
Okay, listen. Uh,
we have no clue what's going on here.

979
01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:13,939
You know, they sell a plum whiskey here.
It's fucking unreal.

980
01:02:14,105 --> 01:02:16,949
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up.

981
01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:21,322
Oh, I'm sorry, you guys already
got fucked up, didn't you?

982
01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:25,788
Uh, listen. I'm a little confused.
How did you...?

983
01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:28,500
Yeah, you know what?
I'm a little fucking confused.

984
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:29,663
Where's Chow?!

985
01:02:30,330 --> 01:02:35,632
Where is Chow with the fucking account
code and the fucking password?!

986
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:46,309
We don't know anything about any codes.
We're just trying to find our friend.

987
01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:52,106
- Teddy.
- Yes. Teddy.

988
01:02:52,269 --> 01:02:53,361
Have you seen him?

989
01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,356
Come here.

990
01:02:56,523 --> 01:02:59,777
Hmm. Let's see. Oh.

991
01:03:00,568 --> 01:03:01,694
There's Teddy.

992
01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:06,659
- Holy shit. it's from last night.
- Hmm.

993
01:03:07,993 --> 01:03:09,620
Who are you?

994
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,083
I'm a businessman...

995
01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:14,625
and I have invested a large chunk
of capital in your friend Chow.

996
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:19,300
And in return, he was supposed
to transfer our profits electronically...

997
01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:22,807
about five fucking minutes ago.

998
01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:27,350
So last night,
we took Teddy as insurance.

999
01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:30,686
Oh, my God. Is he okay?

1000
01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:33,397
Oh, my God. I wasn't done talking.

1001
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,487
You tell Chow...

1002
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:41,322
that we are having breakfast on the roof
of this hotel tomorrow morning at 8 a.m.

1003
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,737
Now, if he makes the transfer,
you will get Teddy.

1004
01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:47,999
If not, well, then, hey, you know?
It's Bangkok.

1005
01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:52,203
That's your cue to get the fuck
out of here.

1006
01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:00,671
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.

1007
01:04:02,589 --> 01:04:04,011
Alan, leave the hat.

1008
01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,765
Attaboy.

1009
01:04:17,604 --> 01:04:20,778
We're fucked. Chow's dead.
What do we do now?

1010
01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:25,320
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow.
This whole thing's about a bank account.

1011
01:04:27,072 --> 01:04:29,450
Let's just go back to the hotel,
Search Chow's body.

1012
01:04:29,616 --> 01:04:32,369
And hopefully the password's
in his wallet or something.

1013
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:35,289
What if it isn't?
I mean, they're gonna kill Teddy.

1014
01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:40,052
Just relax. We have until 8 a.m.
tomorrow to figure it out.

1015
01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:45,348
First the monkey, now my hat.

1016
01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,226
How much worse can this day get?

1017
01:04:51,638 --> 01:04:53,811
Jesus Christ.

1018
01:05:01,022 --> 01:05:05,619
Well, we're living here in Alantown

1019
01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:11,326
And he's driven our lives into the ground

1020
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:16,208
When we woke up
We were wasted and drunk

1021
01:05:16,371 --> 01:05:18,544
Phil got shot

1022
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:22,586
We got beaten by a monk

1023
01:05:24,629 --> 01:05:28,725
I was happy, and my life was good

1024
01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:34,189
Getting married like a dentist should

1025
01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:38,318
Roasting marshmallows on a stick

1026
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:41,355
I got fucked in the ass

1027
01:05:41,521 --> 01:05:44,240
By a girl with a dick

1028
01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,903
I remember that.

1029
01:05:50,155 --> 01:05:54,456
And we 're living here in Alantown

1030
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:58,788
There's water everywhere.

1031
01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:01,963
Yeah, that's because it melted, Stu.
The fucking power's out.

1032
01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:05,129
"With an inadequate electrical grid
serving millions of people...

1033
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:08,219
Bangkok experiences
1500 power outages per year."

1034
01:06:08,381 --> 01:06:10,224
Seriously, Alan, that's enough.

1035
01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,435
Out of the way.

1036
01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:20,193
We got it.

1037
01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:24,235
Ghost! There's a ghost!

1038
01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:27,571
Motherfucker!

1039
01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:31,534
Chow, calm down! Chow, calm down!

1040
01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:34,491
- Fucking kill on me!
- No, no, no. Ah.

1041
01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,079
It's okay.

1042
01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:40,918
Relax.

1043
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:46,006
- Shh.
- Shh.

1044
01:06:49,589 --> 01:06:53,435
That's it. it's just us. Breathe.

1045
01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:55,846
- Chow so cold.
- I'm gonna warm you up.

1046
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:58,606
Chow so cold. Chow so cold.

1047
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:01,109
You did good, buddy. You did good.

1048
01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:02,519
Chow did good.

1049
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:09,697
Feeling better?

1050
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:12,070
You all right? You warm enough?

1051
01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:15,161
I don't know.
Come feel my balls and tell me.

1052
01:07:15,323 --> 01:07:18,953
I've been locked
in a fucking ice box all day.

1053
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:22,797
Hey, Alan, you want my awesome
sunglasses, you just ask Chow.

1054
01:07:22,956 --> 01:07:24,629
You don't have to kill me.

1055
01:07:24,791 --> 01:07:28,762
Chow, nobody killed you. You were
already dead. You didn't have a pulse.

1056
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:30,672
Oh, you never do blow before?

1057
01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:34,217
Sometime your heart stop, start up again.
Read a book.

1058
01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:36,644
Look, I'm sorry.
We're just having a bad day.

1059
01:07:36,803 --> 01:07:40,148
Oh, you having a bad day? Did you die?

1060
01:07:41,015 --> 01:07:42,141
I got shot.

1061
01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:43,810
But did you die?

1062
01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:48,027
Chow, some guy told us that
you've got a bank code or something...

1063
01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:52,740
and if we don't bring it to him first thing
in the morning, he's gonna kill Teddy.

1064
01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:55,826
Who, Kingsley? Pfft. He harmless.

1065
01:07:55,989 --> 01:07:59,414
Don't worry. I got the bank codes.

1066
01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:03,083
Great. All right,
we gotta meet him at 8 a.m.

1067
01:08:03,246 --> 01:08:04,964
Who is that fucking guy, anyway?

1068
01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:06,670
Invest in my business.

1069
01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:08,547
Yeah? What business is that?

1070
01:08:08,710 --> 01:08:11,884
It's called Not Your Business, okay?

1071
01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:14,181
So where's the monkey?

1072
01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:15,849
- The monkey?
- Yeah.

1073
01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:20,355
I stashed the account number
and password in his vest. Where is he?

1074
01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:25,818
- Why would you do that?
- Safekeeping, pretty boy.

1075
01:08:25,977 --> 01:08:28,025
I got a lot of heat on my ass.

1076
01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:33,284
I got FBI, Bangkok P.D.,
Interpol, MSNBC.

1077
01:08:33,901 --> 01:08:36,029
That monkey snorting coke
with me all night...

1078
01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:38,744
jerking me off while
I watch Stu fuck with ladyboy.

1079
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,326
- Ugh.
- He not going anywhere.

1080
01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:43,039
We don't have the monkey, Chow.

1081
01:08:43,202 --> 01:08:46,001
No, some Russian thugs
took him from us.

1082
01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,041
Oh, you fucking guys.

1083
01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,965
Okay, no problem.

1084
01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:53,175
We just have to get him back.

1085
01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:56,224
- From where?
- Same place we took him from.

1086
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,990
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.

1087
01:09:33,086 --> 01:09:36,431
Think of him like monkey drug mule.

1088
01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:40,389
He take coke to buyer...

1089
01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:44,392
and deliver cash to dealer.

1090
01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:47,187
He middleman.

1091
01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:50,194
Dealer never handle drug directly.

1092
01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,525
He clean.

1093
01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:54,907
That's terrible.

1094
01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:58,286
Not terrible. What you talking about?
It's fucking genius.

1095
01:09:58,444 --> 01:10:01,163
You ever see monkey go to jail?

1096
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,576
We just signal monkey for deal,
he come close...

1097
01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:07,245
we take his vest and that's that.

1098
01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:09,790
Maybe get some blow too.
You know, just bump.

1099
01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,378
No. No more bumps, Chow.

1100
01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:15,795
Okay, this is ridiculous.

1101
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,470
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle.
Signal monkey.

1102
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:35,656
- All right, here we go.
- Come on.

1103
01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:42,613
How'd we wind up with the monkey
last night?

1104
01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:46,830
Well, I needed some blow and
Alan thought he was cute, so we stole him.

1105
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,590
So stupid.

1106
01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:02,100
Stu, ready to grab vest?

1107
01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,474
I... Okay. I just grab it?

1108
01:11:05,636 --> 01:11:08,264
- Yeah, just do it, Stu. Just do it.
- Hey, monkey!

1109
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:10,149
- Alan, shh.
- Hi.

1110
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:15,692
- Fuck!
- We gotta go right now.

1111
01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:18,824
Pull that fucking monkey in!

1112
01:11:18,983 --> 01:11:20,155
I'm trying!

1113
01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:25,865
Aah! Fuck!

1114
01:11:29,702 --> 01:11:31,204
Get that monkey in here, Stu!

1115
01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:33,623
He won't let go!

1116
01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:35,671
Stu, get back in the car right now!

1117
01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:39,630
I'm trying! Slow down!

1118
01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:46,852
He's so strong!

1119
01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:52,016
Let go, you fucking monkey!

1120
01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:55,061
- Look out!
- Aah!

1121
01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:56,901
Oh, shit. Tight squeeze.

1122
01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:02,361
I got him! I got him!

1123
01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:07,206
- Where's the code, Chow?
- Check his little vest.

1124
01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:13,003
- You got it, Alan?
- Yeah, I got it, Phil.

1125
01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:16,382
- Slow down, slow down, Chow!
- Hold on, gay boys!

1126
01:12:20,253 --> 01:12:22,176
- Holy shit!
- Fuck.

1127
01:12:23,548 --> 01:12:25,266
Don't worry, I got this shit.

1128
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,307
Pig!

1129
01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:34,229
Oh, my word!

1130
01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:36,269
Ha, ha. Sorry, Stu. My bad.

1131
01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:43,283
Oh, shit.

1132
01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:45,949
Get down!

1133
01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:47,409
What the fuck?!

1134
01:12:48,865 --> 01:12:51,459
Oh, no! They shot the monkey!

1135
01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:54,294
They shot the monkey!

1136
01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,046
I'm at my wits' end!

1137
01:12:58,958 --> 01:13:00,756
He's coming back around.

1138
01:13:01,794 --> 01:13:02,841
Look out!

1139
01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,264
- Holy fuck.
- Oh, no.

1140
01:13:29,030 --> 01:13:31,249
- Everybody all right?
- Yeah.

1141
01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:35,412
Whoo! I have such an erection right now.

1142
01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,341
Are you for real?

1143
01:13:45,463 --> 01:13:46,589
Shh.

1144
01:13:46,756 --> 01:13:50,181
It's okay. it's okay. it's okay.

1145
01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:53,767
It's okay.

1146
01:13:55,514 --> 01:13:57,937
They're gonna take good care
of you here, okay?

1147
01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,400
What's that?

1148
01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,942
Oh, yeah. Of course.

1149
01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:08,861
Cigarettes, got them right here.
Here you go.

1150
01:14:13,324 --> 01:14:14,701
There you go.

1151
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:20,001
Deep breath.

1152
01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:21,882
Good. Good.

1153
01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:24,544
Smoke it in.

1154
01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:27,213
Breathe the smoke
into your tiny little lungs.

1155
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,723
There you go.

1156
01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:32,017
It's funny. I've never been
much of a smoker...

1157
01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:35,480
but, boy, does it look cool on you.

1158
01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:38,141
Alan! Come on, let's go!

1159
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,320
I'm gonna miss you, monkey.

1160
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:48,735
I wish monkeys could Skype.

1161
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,905
Maybe one day.

1162
01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:02,378
- Come on, get in.
- Scoot over.

1163
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:05,510
- Oh, we gotta go see Kingsley.
- He's gonna be fine.

1164
01:15:20,891 --> 01:15:23,861
If I could save time in a bottle

1165
01:15:24,645 --> 01:15:28,775
The first thing that I'd like to do

1166
01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:32,153
Is to save every day

1167
01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:36,036
Till eternity passes away

1168
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,117
Just to spend them with you

1169
01:15:38,325 --> 01:15:40,168
Are you guys seriously this calm?

1170
01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,080
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.

1171
01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:45,375
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.

1172
01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,919
Ever do anything that doesn't
end up in a standoff?

1173
01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:51,339
I'm an international criminal.
It always ends like this.

1174
01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,223
I met my wife at one of these things.

1175
01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:55,976
You have a wife?

1176
01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,433
Yeah. We married 15 years.

1177
01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,725
What, Chow not good-looking enough
for woman?

1178
01:16:02,391 --> 01:16:03,563
No, that's cool.

1179
01:16:05,853 --> 01:16:07,696
- Let's do this.
- Welcome to the Tower Club.

1180
01:16:07,855 --> 01:16:10,529
Blah, blah, blah. Who cares?

1181
01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:14,115
- it's okay.
- Stop. Chow crossing.

1182
01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,159
Hey, Kingsley.

1183
01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:21,578
- Well, well.
- Propecia looking nice.

1184
01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:24,497
Whew, you been hitting the gym?

1185
01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:28,171
Yes, I am, actually.
Thank you for noticing, Chow.

1186
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,712
Hey, guys, have a seat.

1187
01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:32,179
Where's Teddy?

1188
01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:35,012
He's waiting downstairs in my car.
We'll send him up...

1189
01:16:35,174 --> 01:16:37,677
...when the transfer is complete.
- Tell you what:

1190
01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:42,189
Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy.
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.

1191
01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:45,025
Oh, jeez. Chow.

1192
01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:47,278
Can we move this along?

1193
01:16:47,812 --> 01:16:50,156
Alan, account number?

1194
01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:52,241
Come On, Come On, Come On.

1195
01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:56,654
Uh, eight-one-four...

1196
01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:59,407
K, as in "knife"...

1197
01:16:59,573 --> 01:17:02,292
two-three-nine-eight.

1198
01:17:03,702 --> 01:17:04,874
Password?

1199
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,380
"Baloney1

1200
01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:08,420
Your password is "baloney1"?

1201
01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:11,506
It used to be just "baloney."
Now they make you add number.

1202
01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:15,381
Really fucking annoying. Okay.

1203
01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:26,809
- And it's that easy.
- Ta-da.

1204
01:17:28,185 --> 01:17:29,812
Oh, look, you sunk my battleship.

1205
01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:33,362
Great. Now can we please have Teddy?

1206
01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:37,032
Uh, yeah. Bring him up.

1207
01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:38,742
Good to go.

1208
01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:42,909
Ha, ha. See? We go to your
wedding, we have fun, I bust a nut.

1209
01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:46,079
We did it, Stu. it's over.

1210
01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,556
This is Bangkok Police.
Everybody down.

1211
01:18:00,926 --> 01:18:03,930
No! Kingsley, you're fucking 5-0?

1212
01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:05,602
Gotcha, Leslie.

1213
01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:06,936
Get him out of here.

1214
01:18:07,099 --> 01:18:08,521
Go. Good, good! We're good!

1215
01:18:13,772 --> 01:18:15,695
How the fuck...?!

1216
01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,451
Samir?

1217
01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,782
You fucked me over 6 grand?
You camel jockey.

1218
01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:24,033
You spit to me?

1219
01:18:24,366 --> 01:18:25,959
You spit to me?

1220
01:18:26,118 --> 01:18:28,291
Hey, 6 grand this time, 8 grand last time.

1221
01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:30,582
It's not the money, man.
It's the principle.

1222
01:18:30,748 --> 01:18:33,627
Principle? Nigga, please.
We both dead inside.

1223
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:35,794
You call me nigga?
Huh? Don't call me nigga.

1224
01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:39,135
- Toodleoo, motherfucker!
- Called me nigga. Racist asshole, man.

1225
01:18:40,799 --> 01:18:43,268
- You guys okay?
- What the fuck's going on?

1226
01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:45,304
Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.

1227
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:47,144
- You're a cop?
- Yes.

1228
01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:49,729
This sting operation's been in place
for weeks.

1229
01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:53,112
When Samir told us
that your friend was lost...

1230
01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,106
we took advantage of that information.

1231
01:18:55,564 --> 01:18:58,158
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no.

1232
01:18:58,317 --> 01:19:02,117
- So can Teddy come out of the car now?
- No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fucking car.

1233
01:19:02,279 --> 01:19:04,782
They don't have him.
They never had him.

1234
01:19:04,949 --> 01:19:07,168
They just needed us to bring them Chow.

1235
01:19:07,534 --> 01:19:09,252
They used Teddy as bait.

1236
01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:12,123
Do you have any leads at all?

1237
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,010
No. We've checked everywhere,
no one has seen him. I'm sorry.

1238
01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:19,179
If you haven't found him by now...

1239
01:19:19,546 --> 01:19:22,095
I'm afraid Bangkok has him.

1240
01:19:26,387 --> 01:19:29,266
Why do people keep saying that?

1241
01:19:31,308 --> 01:19:32,810
Stu...

1242
01:19:33,686 --> 01:19:35,404
it's time.

1243
01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:41,653
Phil.

1244
01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:43,658
I'm sorry.

1245
01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:47,158
Don't say that. Please.

1246
01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:49,418
No, this time we really fucked up.

1247
01:19:49,576 --> 01:19:51,499
Oh, God. How bad?

1248
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:53,539
Like no wedding bad?

1249
01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:55,208
Yeah.

1250
01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,927
Little worse than that.

1251
01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:04,179
I don't know what to tell you.

1252
01:20:24,028 --> 01:20:25,746
Okay, how about this?

1253
01:20:25,904 --> 01:20:27,872
He fell off the fishing boat and drowned.

1254
01:20:29,533 --> 01:20:30,659
No.

1255
01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:33,579
Okay, I got it.

1256
01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,874
Teddy was hit by a truck.

1257
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:39,051
- Alan.
- Not a good time, Phil. Kind of busy.

1258
01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,052
How many people get run over here?

1259
01:20:41,211 --> 01:20:43,509
Ugh. Over 1200 a year, Phil.

1260
01:20:43,672 --> 01:20:46,767
Perfect.
His body was too mangled to recover.

1261
01:20:46,925 --> 01:20:48,051
Case closed.

1262
01:20:49,803 --> 01:20:51,430
Can I have more ice, please?

1263
01:20:52,598 --> 01:20:54,066
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.

1264
01:20:54,224 --> 01:20:57,398
Stu, do you want this or not?

1265
01:20:57,728 --> 01:21:00,231
Look at what I've done, Phil.

1266
01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:02,658
What I do.

1267
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:07,788
I have a weakness for prostitutes.

1268
01:21:08,155 --> 01:21:09,873
All kinds, apparently.

1269
01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:17,214
I have a demon in me.

1270
01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:19,754
So what?

1271
01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:25,724
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
I'll just let her live her life without me.

1272
01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:26,928
Stu.

1273
01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:30,391
I want you to call Doug and tell him
I'm never coming back.

1274
01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:33,267
I'm getting off the hamster wheel.

1275
01:21:34,306 --> 01:21:36,559
I'm gonna stay here in Bangkok.

1276
01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:38,853
I think I belong here.

1277
01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:41,693
Open up a little dentist office.

1278
01:21:42,564 --> 01:21:44,566
Teeth cleanings with a happy ending.

1279
01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:50,785
You sure about this?

1280
01:21:57,955 --> 01:22:00,253
Hey! What the crud?

1281
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,009
Power's out, Alan.

1282
01:22:07,631 --> 01:22:09,258
- Phil.
- Doug.

1283
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,677
I need answers, man.

1284
01:22:10,843 --> 01:22:13,346
- I know, um...
- Doug, who are you talking to?

1285
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,640
- Give me the phone.
- No, that's a private...

1286
01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:17,524
- Who is this?
- Lauren?

1287
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:20,357
Phil? Tell me what's going on right now.

1288
01:22:21,019 --> 01:22:22,612
We lost your little brother.

1289
01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:24,110
What?

1290
01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:26,696
Bangkok has him now.

1291
01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:35,538
We gotta take the stairs.

1292
01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:37,169
You're in Bangkok?

1293
01:22:40,956 --> 01:22:44,381
Ew! That's a finger!

1294
01:22:44,543 --> 01:22:45,886
Put Stu on the phone.

1295
01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:50,349
"Bangkok experiences
1500 power outages per year."

1296
01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:52,601
Stu really just doesn't wanna
talk to anybody.

1297
01:22:53,427 --> 01:22:54,644
- Water.
- Power's out.

1298
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:57,727
Come on, Stewie.
Use that big Jewish brain.

1299
01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:00,143
He's just not up for it...

1300
01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,732
- Phil? Phil. Phil, give me the phone.
- it's Lauren.

1301
01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:06,991
- I know. I need to talk to her.
- I'm handling this. I'll handle this, Stu!

1302
01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:09,868
- You're gonna break her heart!
- Hey, sweetheart, it's me.

1303
01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:11,074
I'm so sorry!

1304
01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:14,831
Stu? What the hell is going on?
What does he mean, you lost Teddy?

1305
01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:17,038
What? Is that what Phil said?

1306
01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:19,829
No, no, no. We misplaced Teddy.

1307
01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:23,295
But we're all good now. We're headed back
to the resort. See you soon.

1308
01:23:24,249 --> 01:23:25,751
I love you so much.

1309
01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:29,843
And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye.

1310
01:23:32,424 --> 01:23:33,926
Stu!

1311
01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:38,225
- Stu...!
- Ah!

1312
01:23:39,932 --> 01:23:42,355
Taxi! Taxi!

1313
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:45,943
Come on! Come on, Alan! Come on!

1314
01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:49,484
- Hey, you mind filling us in?
- Okay.

1315
01:23:49,650 --> 01:23:51,903
- Now, when we woke up, the power was out.
- Yeah.

1316
01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:53,946
And you found Teddy's finger in what?

1317
01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:57,787
- In a bowl of water.
- But it didn't start out as water.

1318
01:23:57,950 --> 01:24:00,544
- It was ice.
- Exactly. Teddy got ice from the machine...

1319
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:03,501
came back to the room,
put his finger on ice, fell asleep.

1320
01:24:03,664 --> 01:24:07,043
What do you do if you wake up
and your finger's in a bowl of melted ice?

1321
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:10,964
I'd get more ice, Stu,
on the 15th fucking floor!

1322
01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:14,224
Yes!
Teddy goes up, the power goes out...

1323
01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:17,512
Holy shit. Of course.

1324
01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,430
Of course, he's in the ice machine.

1325
01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:21,644
Alan, no!

1326
01:24:25,102 --> 01:24:26,570
It's on 10!

1327
01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:27,980
Sir, is the elevator stuck?

1328
01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:31,988
- Come on.
- Go. Go, go, go.

1329
01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,492
Ten! This is it! Teddy!

1330
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:37,907
Teddy! Teddy!

1331
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,996
Look out, look out.

1332
01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:50,844
- Oh, my God! Teddy!
- He's okay! He's okay!

1333
01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:52,346
Hey, you okay?

1334
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,681
You okay, man?

1335
01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:55,841
Where am I?

1336
01:24:56,008 --> 01:24:58,181
You're in an elevator in the middle
of Bangkok.

1337
01:24:58,343 --> 01:25:00,687
But we're gonna get you out of here.
It's gonna be fine.

1338
01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:02,268
Hey, Stu...

1339
01:25:02,514 --> 01:25:04,312
nice tattoo.

1340
01:25:06,143 --> 01:25:08,316
- Thanks, man.
- All right, let's do this.

1341
01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:09,946
Come on. Come on, come on.

1342
01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:12,858
Doug, we found him. Yeah!

1343
01:25:13,025 --> 01:25:16,700
I know, I know, but we're on our way.
Okay, bye.

1344
01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:20,207
All right, guests are arriving,
people are starting to ask questions...

1345
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,367
but we can still pull this off.

1346
01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,787
- How?
- I don't know. Like, a taxi?

1347
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,626
- Chow's speedboat.
- What?

1348
01:25:26,788 --> 01:25:29,337
Last thing I remember was getting
off Chow's speedboat.

1349
01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,297
Chow has a speedboat?

1350
01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,428
The Perfect Life.

1351
01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:35,051
Come on.

1352
01:25:38,925 --> 01:25:41,144
Stu, get that back line.

1353
01:25:42,763 --> 01:25:44,606
Good jump, Phil!

1354
01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:48,519
- You all right?
- Yeah.

1355
01:25:48,894 --> 01:25:50,487
You sure you know how
to drive this thing?

1356
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,278
Please. I was raised in yacht clubs.
I know what I'm doing.

1357
01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:19,591
You know where we're going?

1358
01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:22,101
Please address me as "captain."

1359
01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:24,763
Oh, fuck you, Alan.

1360
01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:29,568
Do you know where We're going,
captain?

1361
01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:35,066
Affirmative, cadet. We're going south,
through the Gulf of Thailand. Ha, ha.

1362
01:26:35,232 --> 01:26:36,404
Good.

1363
01:26:57,671 --> 01:27:00,971
Hey. You okay?

1364
01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:04,136
- Feeling a little better.
- All right.

1365
01:27:05,637 --> 01:27:10,108
Listen, Teddy, I'm really sorry.
We didn't mean for any of this to happen.

1366
01:27:11,143 --> 01:27:15,023
It's funny. I can't remember anything...

1367
01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:18,317
but when I woke up...

1368
01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,407
I was kind of happy.

1369
01:27:21,278 --> 01:27:22,450
Yeah!

1370
01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:27,660
By the way, you have any idea
where my finger is?

1371
01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:31,171
Yeah, we gave it
to a drug-dealing monkey.

1372
01:27:34,166 --> 01:27:35,543
Bangkok.

1373
01:27:36,001 --> 01:27:37,844
Yeah, right?

1374
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,801
Fucking Bangkok.

1375
01:27:46,970 --> 01:27:50,019
He's on his way, I'm telling you.
Dad's always doing this.

1376
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,021
No, it's just...

1377
01:27:53,810 --> 01:27:55,562
I apologize! There will be no wedding!

1378
01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:58,152
No, he is on his way. He will be here.

1379
01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,943
Please, if you will all move to the bar.

1380
01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:03,362
We are going to clear this area. Please.

1381
01:28:04,863 --> 01:28:06,661
Daddy, how can you do this?

1382
01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,785
I'm telling you, I spoke to him.
He's coming.

1383
01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:13,546
You don't understand.

1384
01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:16,174
Look. There they are.

1385
01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:21,801
Stu!

1386
01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,179
Alan, there's no dock.

1387
01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:30,393
Just hang on.

1388
01:28:30,555 --> 01:28:32,808
- Alan, it's not funny. Turn the boat.
- Hang on.

1389
01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:34,647
Is that Alan driving the boat?

1390
01:28:34,810 --> 01:28:36,403
What? Uh...

1391
01:28:36,561 --> 01:28:39,815
We should probably move back a little bit.
Come on.

1392
01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:41,358
- Alan, slow down!
- Please!

1393
01:28:41,525 --> 01:28:44,324
Turn the boat! Turn the boat, Alan!
Turn the fucking boat!

1394
01:28:44,486 --> 01:28:46,159
Everyone, back up a little bit here.

1395
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:49,666
Sir, it's gonna get worse
before it gets better. Come on, sir.

1396
01:28:49,825 --> 01:28:50,917
Hold on! Hold on!

1397
01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,753
Fuck!

1398
01:29:05,465 --> 01:29:06,512
Hi.

1399
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,518
Hi, everybody.

1400
01:29:10,011 --> 01:29:12,264
We came in a little hotter
than we planned.

1401
01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:14,607
And sorry we trenched the lawn here.

1402
01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:17,611
Totally fixable. A bit of sod, we'll be fine.

1403
01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:19,112
- Baby!
- Oh, my God.

1404
01:29:19,271 --> 01:29:22,366
- Hi.
- Ah, I'm so happy to see you.

1405
01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:24,777
Teddy.

1406
01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:26,699
Teddy, here.

1407
01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:28,956
- Hi, Dad.
- Oh, Teddy.

1408
01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:32,209
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

1409
01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:33,869
No! Your hand!

1410
01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,961
I know. We had an accident. I'm okay.

1411
01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:41,589
- This is your fault.
- No, Dad.

1412
01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,628
He's right. Mr. Srisai, Lauren.

1413
01:29:43,795 --> 01:29:46,048
- I haven't been completely honest with you.
- Stu?

1414
01:29:46,214 --> 01:29:47,261
- Yeah?
- Don't do this.

1415
01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:49,722
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.

1416
01:29:50,260 --> 01:29:52,558
You said I'm chok.

1417
01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:55,099
Well, I'm not.

1418
01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:59,987
I'm not some weird milky, ricey,
watery goop...

1419
01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:02,773
that you feed to infants
and old people, okay?

1420
01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:06,409
Maybe I would be
if you added some cayenne pepper.

1421
01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:13,371
I wish I was a boring dentist
who had a boring life and boring friends...

1422
01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:16,002
but I don't, I'm not.

1423
01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:18,622
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.

1424
01:30:18,788 --> 01:30:22,258
Hey, it's not weird. it's pretty cool, actually.
No membership fee...

1425
01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,670
I have heard enough of this.
You come here.

1426
01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,383
Whoa.

1427
01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:29,015
Here's the deal, man.

1428
01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:32,097
I got a dark side.

1429
01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,973
There's a demon in me.

1430
01:30:36,473 --> 01:30:38,020
It's true, he has semen in him.

1431
01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:40,982
I said "demon."

1432
01:30:41,144 --> 01:30:43,021
But you also have semen in you.
Remember?

1433
01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,941
That's not relevant, but thank you, Alan.

1434
01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:48,656
Point is...

1435
01:30:48,818 --> 01:30:53,369
this demon takes me
to some pretty weird places.

1436
01:30:53,531 --> 01:30:56,785
And we lost Teddy
for two days in Bangkok.

1437
01:30:57,369 --> 01:31:01,215
But that same demon took us to hell
and back to find him.

1438
01:31:01,373 --> 01:31:03,876
We took on Bangkok and we won.

1439
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:08,388
And that's pretty fucking cool
if you ask me. Right?

1440
01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:15,430
I love your daughter
and I'm gonna marry her...

1441
01:31:15,595 --> 01:31:17,689
unless you have any problem with that.

1442
01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:19,144
- I'm good.
- All right.

1443
01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:22,815
But all that said...

1444
01:31:22,978 --> 01:31:25,777
it would actually mean a great deal
to both of us...

1445
01:31:25,939 --> 01:31:29,318
if we could just get
your motherfucking blessing.

1446
01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:47,215
Hey, Alan.

1447
01:31:48,211 --> 01:31:49,884
Your head looks pretty cool shaved.

1448
01:31:51,006 --> 01:31:52,178
Thanks, Phil.

1449
01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:54,434
You should shave your head too.

1450
01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:56,140
Why would I do that?

1451
01:31:56,302 --> 01:31:58,930
Well, that way,
we would look exactly alike.

1452
01:32:10,066 --> 01:32:11,693
Take good care of my daughter, Stu.

1453
01:32:12,277 --> 01:32:15,326
- I will.
- Thank you.

1454
01:32:21,786 --> 01:32:24,289
I'm sorry we almost
killed everyone with the boat.

1455
01:32:24,456 --> 01:32:26,550
Just happy you're here.

1456
01:32:29,127 --> 01:32:32,882
Don't worry about the tattoo. I'll have it
lasered as soon as we're home in L.A.

1457
01:32:33,048 --> 01:32:34,641
It's okay. I can get used to it.

1458
01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,473
Really?

1459
01:32:40,221 --> 01:32:43,395
- But for now, let's switch sides?
- Yeah, okay.

1460
01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:45,310
Thank you.

1461
01:32:46,144 --> 01:32:47,771
Much better.

1462
01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:51,491
Dear family and friends...

1463
01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,322
on behalf of Stu and Lauren...

1464
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:57,160
I welcome all of you
for this marriage celebration.

1465
01:32:57,655 --> 01:33:01,455
We are here today to encourage,
celebrate...

1466
01:33:36,736 --> 01:33:37,988
I walk along the avenue

1467
01:33:39,197 --> 01:33:43,168
I never thought I'd meet a girl like you

1468
01:33:43,785 --> 01:33:46,129
Meet a girl like you

1469
01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:53,011
And I ran
Iran so far away

1470
01:33:53,586 --> 01:33:55,680
I couldn't get away

1471
01:33:56,214 --> 01:33:58,717
Thanks, buddy.
Can you hold on for a second?

1472
01:33:58,883 --> 01:34:00,305
Thank you. Ahem.

1473
01:34:08,017 --> 01:34:10,896
Hello? Hi, everyone.

1474
01:34:11,896 --> 01:34:14,240
I'm, uh... My name's Alan Garner.

1475
01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:20,702
Um, I want to thank the Asiatic
people for allowing us in your land.

1476
01:34:22,407 --> 01:34:26,537
I wanted to, um, say that, um,
I'm really happy to be here...

1477
01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:30,753
and I have a wedding gift
to present to Lauren and Stu.

1478
01:34:31,124 --> 01:34:35,220
Um, and a lot of thought have gone
into this...

1479
01:34:35,378 --> 01:34:39,554
and I hope that you appreciate it
as much I di... Are going to.

1480
01:34:39,716 --> 01:34:40,763
Okay. Guys.

1481
01:34:55,106 --> 01:34:57,825
Bangkok, Oriental setting, and the city
Don't know what the city is getting

1482
01:34:58,026 --> 01:34:59,619
Oh, fuck!

1483
01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:02,368
In a show with everything
But Yul Brynner, ya know?

1484
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:09,080
One night in Bangkok
And the world's your oyster

1485
01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:12,958
The bars are temples
But the pearls, they ain't free

1486
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:17,800
You'll find a god in every golden cloister

1487
01:35:18,463 --> 01:35:21,558
And if you're lucky, then the god's a she

1488
01:35:21,799 --> 01:35:23,016
Alan!

1489
01:35:23,176 --> 01:35:25,429
I can feel the devil walking next to me

1490
01:35:25,595 --> 01:35:27,563
What the fuck, man?

1491
01:35:27,722 --> 01:35:30,601
- So, what do you think?
- It's insane! How did you do that?

1492
01:35:30,767 --> 01:35:33,691
My dad had to make a lot of calls,
and then I told Mike, I said:

1493
01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:36,151
"You gotta do it.
It's for my third best friend."

1494
01:35:36,898 --> 01:35:39,742
Alan, it's amazing. I love it.

1495
01:35:39,901 --> 01:35:40,948
Thank you so much.

1496
01:35:41,110 --> 01:35:44,740
We only have him for the night.
We don't own him permanently.

1497
01:35:45,531 --> 01:35:47,408
Understood.

1498
01:35:47,951 --> 01:35:52,001
One night in Bangkok
Makes the hard man humble

1499
01:35:52,538 --> 01:35:55,917
Not much between despair and ecstasy

1500
01:35:56,668 --> 01:36:00,343
I can feel the devil walking next to me

1501
01:36:03,091 --> 01:36:04,968
You do a lot of public speaking, Alan?

1502
01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:09,393
Mike, you were great.

1503
01:36:09,555 --> 01:36:11,774
It's true, that was incredible.

1504
01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:15,187
Thanks, guys. Thank you.
That means a lot. Really, it does.

1505
01:36:15,353 --> 01:36:18,482
By the way, you really need to remove
that fucking tattoo from your face.

1506
01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:20,650
Yep. On it.

1507
01:36:23,069 --> 01:36:25,197
Sorry about the last-minute
performance change.

1508
01:36:25,363 --> 01:36:27,286
- Don't worry.
- What are you talking about?

1509
01:36:27,448 --> 01:36:30,543
Well, he was supposed to sing
"Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...

1510
01:36:30,702 --> 01:36:33,046
but then I remembered
you don't like indie rock.

1511
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,377
Hey, guys. You're not gonna believe this.

1512
01:36:35,540 --> 01:36:37,918
- Is that your phone?
- Yeah.

1513
01:36:38,084 --> 01:36:40,007
How come you never tried calling us?

1514
01:36:40,169 --> 01:36:41,762
It's been dead for two days.

1515
01:36:41,921 --> 01:36:44,219
But I recharged it
and found all these photos.

1516
01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:45,975
- What?
- Oh, shit.

1517
01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:47,727
Some of it's pretty messed up.

1518
01:36:47,885 --> 01:36:50,889
- Awesome. Let's check them out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1519
01:36:51,055 --> 01:36:52,557
No one needs to see this stuff.

1520
01:36:52,724 --> 01:36:55,147
Come on, man. I'm Mike Tyson.
I've seen everything.

1521
01:36:55,727 --> 01:36:57,855
- It'll be fine.
- What...?

1522
01:36:59,397 --> 01:37:01,024
All right. But we look at it once...

1523
01:37:01,190 --> 01:37:04,410
And then we delete them.
It's gonna be okay.

1524
01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,829
Motherfucker.