Prince charming is the best part of cinderella 3 probably because he looks vaguely like memes from 2012,

Castaways rescued after spelling help with leaves,
They must be from a generation that learned how to spell the old-fashioned way without the assistance of auto-correct instead of those who only know how to type or text,
Why are old people so obsessed with doing this,

Me, i am so stupid, genuinely ililterate, i am the dumbest beach alive,
Someone, you’re stupid,
Me, einstein wants what i have,

Going out tonight, l o l, no you’re not,
Come join us, loser,
Netflix has a deep understanding of its userbase,

Being an ant would fricking suck, there’s an animal called an anteater, that’s not even like a nickname,

When it’s time for your male friend to leave,

I wrote a song about a tortilla,
Actually its more of a wrap,

Today i learned that with each degree of temperature rise, violence increases by up to 20%,
Fight crime by reducing earth’s temperature to 0 degrees kelvin,
Time stops at zero kelvin,
Crime stops at zero kelvin,

My dog destroys things then acts like he doesn’t even see it,

Plot twist, you are your crush’s crush,
Unrealistic, blocked,

You ever go frick it and slap your own as,
Not in a horny way more like a cowboy slapping his horses hindquarters to jostle it along but in this scenario you are both horse and ride combined into one vaguely stressed and very fast creature,

Her baked macaroni was dry like her elbows,
The ultimate insult,

Can we agree that chris pratt is the worst of all chrises,
Chris hemsworth, nooo, he’s the best of us,
Chris evans, he’s better than all of us,
When the chrises have a meeting and declare the one true superior chris,

Food, $200,
Data, $30,
Rent, $250,
Things i buy because i’m depressed, $3,600,
Utility, $100,
Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this, my family is dying,
Buy more things because you’re depressed,
Okay,

What they say,
There is a skeleton inside you,
The truth,
You are inside your skeleton, you are a brain,
What the frick,

Your bra sucks, this m i t grad is going to fix it,
I believe in him,

Things are shaping up to be pretty,
Frick,

Wanks at you through the window,
I meant wink,

He dropped his eyes,
Put those eyeballs back in your head son,

Cool girls are everywhere but it’s such a challenge to find one guy that’s like mildly interesting to talk to,
It’s like they all have the personality of an actual adidas sandal,
Maybe you’re a beach,
I mean i definitely am but you’re still boring,

The busted nut bar and grill,
I’m gonna lose my mind,

Infinite power in this dog,

I turn down my graphics settings and make a p b and j,

Who else is an anti-stalker,
Antistalking,
Methodically learning another person’s routine in order to systematically avoid them,
Bradley is antistalking his boss today because he hates the bastard,
I actually used this, when i fled from my apartment due to psycho flatmate,

Wait a minute,
Stop it stop it,
Oh god no,
Heck of a coincidence though,

It’s good to bring older dogs to water so they can relax their arthritic joints and get a little exercise, beautiful dog, smooth dog,
That’s a fricking goat,

day/night,
Whoa,

Run and you’ll get faster, punch and you’ll get stronger, the only wasted action is one you don’t take,
Super smash bros gets deep,

Staying at someone else’s place is so perpetually uncomfortable, everything feels like an inconvenience and invasion of privacy, sitting in a chari, inconvenience, opening a cabinet to get a glass, invasion of privacy, breathing, invasion of,

Hey all you worm-haters,
Worms don’t have one mean bone in their body,
They have no bones, or limbs, only compassion and engaging personalities,

Shoutout percy jackson for being a kids book that straight up murdered the abusive step dad instead of doing some bullcrap redemption arc where they have to forgive him,

Fun fact, in the 80’s the dutch unemployed union held fridge raids to protest against poverty,
They’d find out when a politician of big boss who upheld poverty and starvation wages was speaking at some public event, then they’d carefully break into his house with a lot of people and they would eat every piece of food in his house and leave the empty dishes behind without taking anything else,
Direct action at its finest,
We should bring this back,
Time for goblins to gobble,

Harry potter is such an idiot for not getting a pet snake, you can talk, to snakes, get a god dang pet snake, idiot,

Sniffs, it’s a red, california, excellent year, it’s a late harvest, subtle expression of, dare i say, peach, exquisite aroma,
Now i shall cleanse my palate by knocking this glass off the table,

Today i learned that on his death bed in 1936, king george’s doctor issued the final notice,
The king’s life is moving peacefully towards its close, and then proceeded to inject him with 750 milligrams of morphine and 1000 milligrams of coaine, enough to kill him twice over,
Absolutely lost in the sauce,

I’ll take this slightly awkward opportunity to tell you your final grade, b,
I matched with my professor right after our final, this is what he messaged me,

A train station in denmark,
No this is obviously a horror movie poster promoting a movie about haunted killer trains seeking revenge,

Constantly torn between, i can’t ask for help because then i’m annoying and everyone will be mad, and i must ask for help at every possible stage because i might do it wrong and then everyone will be mad, ya feel,

At any given moment there is shark behind you, it might be a thousand miles away, but there is a shark behind you,
And that shark is totally behind you, it is supporting you in whatever you do and wants you to succeed,

Imagine trying hard all your life and doing crazy crap just to be second strongest to some orange dude l m a o,
Wow,
All valid but y’all not gonna disrespect vegeta like that,

Ed edd n eddy waterboarding scene,
You will pee,
It’s not waterboarding it’s chinese water torture look it up,
Sorry i wasn’t invested enough in this joke to fact check what war crime eddy was committing,

I d k what vsco girl means but i assume it’s yet another criticism on teenage girls for existing and liking things,

Screw cosplays i’m just gonna cut armholes in an anime body pillow,
When you an anime girl and you tired of everybody saying you’re their wiafu so you gon beat the crap outta em,
I’m screeching,

Two people who hate each other in real life are unaware that they are best friends online,
There has to be a disney channel original movie that has some this already,

May you always have enough for rent,
And enough left over for food and transportation,
And your bills,
Amen,
And some just for yourself and personal needs,

Being a college student is so primal, like a wolf roaming the tundra, my only thought is of my next meal, unlike a wolf roaming the tundra, i have an analytical essay due next week,

When your in a really bad mood and one mildly inconvenient thing happens,
Made this post because i accidentally pulled my earbud out of my ear right before my favorite part of bohemian rhapsody and i cried about it,

There is a moth in my room and it’s not me,
That’s a mirror,
Lightly bumping into the mirror, let him out, let him out,

People forget that first thing yoda did when he met luke was go through his crap and immediately start eating a hot dog from luke’s lunchbox,
Star wars, homophobia t w, yoda not o p,
Hello,

Someone, stop exaggerating the height differences between characters in your ships,
Me,

End,
You have unlocked the microwave’s good ending,

I am decayed, my lungs are full of thorns and mildew, my bones are held together by vines, i am fragile, be gentle with my corpse,
Get out of bed you’re going to school whether you like it or not,
I refuse,

Do you guys microwave your butter knives or do you heat em up in the toaster,
Stick mine in the plug socket it’s like speedrunning,
You grab them right off of the stove top so they’re fresh,
I always use the microwave because i never feel like going all the way to the bathroom to get the toaster,

No more child actors, children don’t deserve to be exposed to hollywood, from now on all children will be portrayed by adults walking on their knees,
Mother, sara it’s 10 o’clock bedtime sweetie,
Hugh jackman in a blonde wig with pig tails, but moooom,

I wish you could vape in minecraft and blow smoke at a enderman,
I wish you could vape in minecraft and blow smoke at a enderman,
Submitted by anonymous,
Can the person who submitted this come out of hiding real quick i just wanna chat,

Is it gay to kiss your bros goodnight,
Only if the balls touch,
Not if y’all pray next to each other too,
Is kissing your homies dong goodnight gay if you pray while doing it,
Let me consult the bible on this one chief,

People also shared,
None pizza with left beef necklace,
You’re kidding me,

The two panera bread cashiers that watched me order a single cup of soup before falling asleep in a booth for an hour,
He did it again huh,

I don’t know who needs to see this today, but you suck so much it’s unreal,
Thanks, i really needed this today,