**FS** - ToSeeYourself - 2

> You hang there in the dark, suspended in place.
> The cocoon of rope that binds you is secured tightly around your limbs and wings.
> The pressure of hanging there gifts you with a persistant ache through each of them.
> A dull strain that never stops, never lessens, only tightens over time.
> It hurts, oh Celestia, it hurts!
> You'd cry out, but the gag in your mouth blocks all attempts.
> You'd just cry, but you have no tears left to shed.
> The two way mirror infront of you saw to the last of those.
> It was originally part of another plan... one among so many... to find out Anon's fetish.
> It failed.
> They all did.
> So you used it to fix an old broken door in your bedroom.
> If only you'd thrown it out...
> The situation would have been the same, but... but at least you wouldn't have had to watch.
> That hurt more than everything else.... the bruises, your limbs, everything.
> To see somep0ny have all that you ever wanted... dreamt of... needed.
> ...and that somep0ny was you.

> The bed is still broken.
> Anon and... and... her are trying to fix it.
> You watch, hoping he'll look your way.
> Willing him to move towards you... to find you. Save you.
> She laughs with your stolen voice as he bangs his thumb with a hammer.
> Anon sucks at his reddened thumb, laughing too, but with a gentle hoof... YOUR hoof, she draws down the injured hand.
> ...and sucks slowly on the thumb, looking up at him with your teal, love filled eyes.
> His laughter fades and he places a hand upon her head, stroking down your mane.
> Then suddenly, snatches her up and throws her over his shoulder with a roar of lust.
> She squeals and pummels his shoulders with mock resistance as he strides purposefully towards the doorway.
> All the while she's smiling sweetly and staring at the mirror with those now green eyes.
> They end up somewhere downstairs.
> You don't have watch this time, but you still screw up your eyes.
> It doesn't matter.
> You can hear everything.
> You are Fluttershy...
> ...and it turns out you had some tears left after all.

-----

Eleven Days Ago

-----

> You walk the quick way back to p0nyville, despite the humiliation.
> Normally, you'd go the long route, to avoid the glares, but Anon was decortating this morning.
> You knocked on the door as usual, bright and early, smiling and shaking with anticipation.
> The nerves, the excitement... was this going to be the one? Is this what'd get him to like you? To talk to you?
> Just the same as usual.
> ...and so you asked.
"Um...A-anon? D-do you like p0ny r-rides?"
> ...and just as usual, he answered.
> Anon closed the door without a word.
> Then opened it again and threw the bucket over you.
> Wallpaper paste.
> He closed the door again.
> Then, just as you got the bucket off your head, he opened the door again.
> That was exciting.
> You really thought he'd changed his mind then.
> You realised that wasn't the case when he ripped open the goosedown pillow over your head and said flatly "Fuck off, Fluttershy."
> So that's why your going the quick way.
> If the paste dries, it'll be murder to get off.
> To make things worse, you don't think Rarity will give you a return on these jodhpurs and you lost the riding crop.

> "Oh... oh dear. It didn't go well, did it darling?"
"Uhuh..."
> You look down to the floor, a little pout of sadness forming as Rarity leans on her just opened door.
> You're covered in feathers and partially dried wallpaper paste.
> A pair of mares walk past behind you, tittering behind thier hooves at your state.
> Some distance behind you Snails is trying to revive Snips who saw you and laughed so hard he walked face first into a wall.
> "...your mane? oh your mane! your beautiful, beautiful mane... it's...it's..." Rarity dabs it with a hoof.
> A matted chunk of it clings to it as she pulls back, then detatches with a *shlrp* as she shakes it free of paste and tries to hide a disgusted wince with a forced smile.
> "...it's... n-not too bad... la de da... we'll fix it up in a jiffy..." She keeps that smile locked, despite her eyes darting around like they're looking for escape routes.
"...'kay..."
> Your head hangs and you just can't look her in the face.
> Always turning up at her door with problems...
> You're either in a mess emotionally, or in a more literal sense.
> ...and Rarity?
> Always, without question or complaint, helps you.
> When's the last time you did anything for her?
> You can't remember.
> Don't deserve her.
"I d-dont want to cause you a-any trouble... I-i'll go home now... m'srry."

> Rarity gives you a serious look.
> It's enough to make you try to shy behind your mane, but that's currently jutting in the air where Rarity shook it off her hoof.
> "...I have a better idea. I have nothing in my schedule this afternoon. Why don't I close the store up and bring forward our... hmn."
> A small book floats out from the store in a cloud of blue as you try to back away.
> The little pen dashes and darts about it until Rarity peers over the top and, with a bright smile says "...Spa day!"
> You jump a little at the volume.
"...oh no, but I couldn't possibly..."
>...but it would be nice... and you'd get all cleaned up for tommorrow.
>...and maybe Anon would like the smell of some of the new mane oils...
> "...but nothing, deary. I have the time and you have the... ah... need. It'll be fun! We can relax... talk. Whens the last time we just talked, hmmm?"
> You don't struggle as she guides you through the streets.
> Rarity's spa days are something you've always enjoyed.
> It's always peaceful.
> Your mane is such a chore to brush alone... Angel always tugs at it.
> Also, you do like to look your best.

> The two of you lay face down on tables with holes cut out for your heads.
> You can hear the rythmic thumping of two hooves on Rarity's back
> "ooOOooOOooOOoohhh"
> She seems to be enjoying herself.
> Glancing to your right, you can just see her face with the silliest of smiles on it as she positively MELTS at the masseurs touch.
> You stifle a giggle.
> Your massage is a more gentle affair.
> The wings are sensitive and require a careful hoof not to jar or sprain.
> It is relaxing though...
*sigh*
> Your mind drifts to Anon and those strong looking hands.
> That time he grabbed you by the forelegs... such a firm grip!
> ...and those fingers? Oh, the things THEY could do.
> He'd be so good at a job like this.
> ...though, you don't like the idea of sharing him with other mares...
> "Ahem... does miss require a moment to... collect herself?"
> You raise your head and look at Rarity.
> She's leaning up on her table, one hoof supporting her head as she adds "...indeed..." with a knowing smile.
> You look back at the masseur, who's blush looks quite bright on her blue coat.
> Both of your wings are fully unfurled and spread wide, quivering at the tips.
> You blush so hot you're surprised you don't burst into flames.

> Rarity lowers herself into the hot tub with a satisfied, drawn out sigh.
> Both of you are wearing towels, towering around your manes.
> The stress of the day, the faliure, the humiliation just bleeds out of you.
> You sink lower, smiling wide and at peace while Rarity, eyes still closed asks "...so, dearest. Why don't you just talk to him?"
"um..."
> You've told her before how hard it is... How scared you are.
> If you can make him like you before you try to talk... at least he won't re...reject you.
"... s'hard..."
> Rarity opens a single eye and looks at you as you sink further into the water for cover.
> It's a stern look, softened only at the moment she talks... "...oh my dear friend... when was anything worth having ever easy?"
"gblub-blub"
> You've sunk down so far, your mouth is covered by the water.
> "It's plain to anyp0ny that you lov- sorry!, sorry..." You blushed so hard, the water began to boil..."...*sigh* that you like him..."
> "You are a sweet, kind, beautiful mare. You just aren't giving him time to see it. If only you were to..."
"Blub-bloo."

> Rarity sighs and with a glow of pale blue slowly raises your head from the water.
> You look away, uncomfortable with her line of conversation.
> She tries to advise you all the time... but she's such a confident, beautiful p0ny...
> ...what she'd do, you could never find the confidence to.
> She doesn't understand what it's like.
"I...I... just... can't we just relax today? I'm so tired."
> You are too.
> So many faliures...
> It's starting to get to you.
> There has to be something...
> Some way of making him see...
> Rarity looks at you in silence for an uncomfortable moment and then lets out a breath.
> "Very well. We won't bother with trivialities of the heart... today is for pampering and relaxing... but we will talk about this darling. Some other time."
> You smile a grateful little smile.

> Rarity had to leave early.
> You suspect she wasn't quite being truthful about not having any work to do.
> She took back the jodhpurs and outfit anyway, promising to clean them.
> You are walking through the spa, when something catches your attention.
> Two mares are chatting behind a wicker partition in the steam room part of the spa.
> "...I didn't believe it either... what p0ny would?"
> "...it can't be true though... Mr Breezy?"
> The first one is Rose... you're sure of it...
> Don't recognise the other.
> "I know" continues rose "...everyp0ny thought he was a 'stallions stallion'... but sure enough, he was there, outside her house with flowers in his mouth..."
> "...do you think that's why mrs cake has been walking funny too..."
> The two of them titter.
> You sidle up to wicker and wait quietly.
> It's not REALLY eavesdropping... is it?
> The second continues..."Well... I'm going to go and see for myself then."
> "...oh, pshaw. Why would you need to visit a love-guru?"
> "Nice of you to say... your a horrible liar Rose, but it's still nice." The two of them laugh.
> "I'll come with you...it's not far down the road but it is the EverFree..."
> Love-guru?
> Everfree forest?
> Road?
> There's only one road close to p0nyville!
> You could be there and back before sundown!
> ... and walking funny by tommorrow... oh my...
> You're not sure where that thought came from, but even a blush as bright as celestia's dawn isn't going to stop you now.

> If p0nies comment on your galloping through town, flying short distances to bypass obstructions, you aren't around long enough to hear it.
> Reaching the Everfree forest takes no time at all.
> To many p0nies this is a place of long shadows and fearful sounds.
> To you?
> It's a tranquil, peaceful haven.
> There's little in this forest that you don't know, creature or plant.
> It's not a place to be scared of.
> Perhaps, it's because here you know it's just you, nature and all her animals.
> To you, other p0nies are more scary than any forest... sometimes than anything...
> Well, maybe not dragons...
> Ahead, parked at the side of the cracked and weed strewn road, you can see a gypsie style wagon.
> It's small with a curved, sealed wooden roof and blue cloth drapes over the sides.
> Stars and moons decorate the blue cloth and a set of steps at the back lead up to an open door and into the wagon.
> It looks mysterious, but also slightly familiar...
> You approach.
> There is a small cookfire nearby with a bubbling pot on it.
> You can smell carrots and parsley from here.
> Your stomach gives an audible grumble.
"...oh my..."
> "Who dares disturb the rest of the great and...*eep*"

> The p0ny who spoke leaps back into the shadows of the wagon, and begins clattering around desperately.
"...um... excuse me?... I didn't mean to..."
> She doesn't listen... such a familiar voice though.
> The mare reappears with a wrapped turban, a viel of blue see through material and a red velvet dress draped around her...
> Draped?
> Actually, it does look like she's thrown drapes over herself now that you look closer.
> ... and the turban looks like a skirt balled up...
> You peer closer rubbing your chin with a hoof...
> What IS that veil made of...
> "P0ny whom the g-g-great, um, wanderina  has never met before! Why are you here at tr.... that is wanderina's time of rest?"
> It's a booming voice, the kind that belongs to a p0ny who brims with confidence
> ... but she really does sound nervous about something too.
"...erm... sorry... I just came here because I heard about the...um...Love-*mumble*"
> The strange mare stares down at you "...the what?"
" *mumblemumble* guru *squeak*"
> Oh, Celestia. This is so embarrassing...
> "...you want to see the love-guru? is that right, p0ny who is strange and new to wanderella."
"...wanderina..."
> "...that's what I said." She stares at you, daring another challenge.
> Best not to argue, it'd be impolite.
"...the g-guru... yes... um, please... If it's not too much troub-"
> "*ahem* you will find the great, mysterious guru in a cave over yonder that is also mysterious. It's near a waterfall. Now, go!"
"...thankyou..."
> You move swiftly.
> Time is wasting and that familiar p0ny has done you such a favor, pointing you in the right direction.

-----

> The great and powerful Wandella...
> Wanderina...
> Wanderwhateva...
> ...watches Fluttershy trot away smiling towards the forest and the waterfall.
> Trixie (for it is she!) filled her canteens there yesterday.
> It's far enough away for her to be able to pack up her things and get her wagon moving.
> If that yellow pegasus has found her, even if she was too witless to match the cunning of the ever convincing and believable Trixie...
> ... then Twilight, Tartarus take her, and the others can't be far behind...
> It was a good gig while it lasted.
> Listen to some hopeless, love smitten mares and thier pedestrain romances.
> Tell them to be more confident in 'mysterious voice number 3' and flash some lights over their head.
> If necessary, sell them a love potion made out of food colouring and leftovers.
"Oh well, Trixie, time to find yourself a new town of rubes... appleloosa sounds nice this time of year..."

-----

> The waterfall is ahead.
> You hear the thrumming beat of falling water on rock and river as you approach.
> The cave is just behind the waterfall, set in a rockface that juts up a good hundred feet.
> By the time you're close enough to see the cave, the falling water is a thunderous accompanyment to the familiar noises of the forest.
> Whether it's that, the anticipation or something else, you are feeling nervous about all of this.
> Every instinct is telling you to flick your tail at this and gallop home.
> ...but this could be the ONE.
> The one thing you've been looking for.
> Whoever this guru is, she... or he... might have the answer...
> If you ran away now... just like you always do, Fluttershy... then you'd never forgive yourself.
> You'd always wonder if this was your chance.
> Your answer.
> It's going to be hard, but...
> ...like Rarity said, nothing worth having was ever easy.
> With legs hollow and shaking you begin to gingerly walk towards the cave...

"h-hello? is...um... anyp0ny there?"
> You lean into the cave, sound of crashing water behind you.
> The dark of the cave rumbles with the sound of the waterfall, like a growling beast.
> You peer around nervously as your eyes adjust to the darkness.
> ...there doesn't seem to be anyp0ny here...
> "...who?" The voice is almost a hiss..."...who comes? sspeak."
" *eep*...um... m'sorry... didn't meant to bother...wrong cave...um...I'll just see myself out."
> You begin to back away, but the voice, closer now, speaks again.
> "...I can smell it on you...love. Tell me, pegasuss. Why do you seek me out, hmm?" The voice is less hiss like now.
> This... this p0ny is creepy.
> Rose and her friend didn't mention that.
> ...but it mentioned 'love'... maybe...
> You have to know, Fluttershy.
> You have to.
"...are you the, um, guru? The other p0nies said you can help... do you..."
> You gulp.
" ...do you know about love? I...I need help... please?"
> The voice laughs...
> At first it sounds... strange, but becomes softer, kinder...
> A shape slowly steps into the light.
> A mare, deep brown with flowing black mane.
> A veil with bits threaded through a string on her brow covers her face.
> "My dear one... there is nothing in this world about 'love' that I do not know. All of it's secrets are mine to know... and share."
> She smiles beneath the viel, brown deep eyes glistening.

> You leave her a short time later and begin to trot through the woods towards home.
> The two of you talked, sat upon a log outside of the cave.
> She was still... strange in the fading light of the day.
> ...but she was nice, even if she did stare a lot.
> You told her about Anon... about how you thought about him all the time... dreamt about him... needed him.
> About how you just couldn't tell him.
> Were too scared to approach him without... something to help you out.
> Too afraid.
*rustle*
> What was that?
> You stop for a moment, looking behind you into the gloaming light, casting long shadows in the forest...
> Nothing...
> This is the EverFree forest.
> There's nothing for YOU to be afraid of in here.
> Shaking your head, you trot onwards.
> Not long to go.

> As the two of you talked, she watched intently, listened to everything...
> Told you about males... how they need to be lured.
> That chasing spooks them.
> Make them come to you.
> Make them want you.
> Then, make them NEED you.
> It sounded... so complicated.
> ...but she sounded so confident.
> ... and the stories she told...
> You blush as you think back.
> It's going to be tough, but you have a plan now.
> Leave Anon alone for a couple of days... He'll come looking for you.
> Then, wearing something alluring *heehee*...you can't help giggle at that word... you let him into YOUR home, where you have the advantage.
> ...and then... and... then.
> Oh my.
> You're blushing again.
> ...and smiling!
> You see your home, an impatient Angel is standing on top of the chicken coop, clanging his bowl with a spoon and watching you approach.
> Heading to feed your darling bunny, ducking his thrown bowl, you hum to yourself as you think about Anon.
> This is going to WORK.

-----

> Two green eyes watch Fluttershy from the treeline.
> A thin, malevolent smile widens beneath them.
> This one was so loving...
> So RIPE.
> ...but there was another.
> If it did things right, it could feed on both.
> Play them against each other.
> Feast.
> Grow strong.
> Yessss.
> Worth risking a solitary meal for a banquet.

-----

Three days later.

-----

> You run along the path back to your home.
> Tears still well in your eyes.
"oh...R-rar-*sob*"
> Rarity...
> How could she?
> She talked to Anon while you were trying the clothes...
> Afterward, she said it was just 'giving him a little nudge.'
> She told you how you 'needed to tell him the truth. "Stop the tricks, the schemes. Stop hiding from him and let him see you"
> It sounded so different to what the guru had told you... but it sounded right...
> You didn't know what to do.
> Then... then, she told you he'd gone.
> Who did you see outside?
> Of course, Anon.
> You just know she told him to run after you.
> She couldn't just... just... leave you alone.
> Had to interfere.
> You told her this time your plan would work.
> Told her that it WAS different this time.

> She didn't believe you.
> Nop0ny believes poor, little Fluttershy can do anything on her own.
> You leap and with a flurry of wingbeats glide your fence, landing near the door.
> You open the door, leaving it ajar behind you and collapse onto your couch, still sobbing.
> Because of what happened, you had to talk to Anon.
> Told him everything.
> Everything just flooded out.
> He listened.
> Then he nearly said he 'wanted to be friends.'
*snf*
> That... was the worst.
> Had to nearly beg so you didn't hear those words.
> Even unsaid, you know now.
> You love him... but he'll never love you.
> You're just Fluttershy, friend to everyp0ny, special to none.
> A knock at the door, which swings slowly open, causes you to look up and see the shadow in the doorway.
> "...Fluttershy? ...are you here... I want to talk to you. There's something I... I need to tell you."

> Your heart leaps.
> Could it be?
> Was Rarity right?
> ... you came home.
> He had to come to you...
> Where they both right?
> ...does it matter?
"...c-come in... um... please?"
> He strides into the room.
> Tall, so tall.
> ...and those eyes...
> When they look at you... Your legs feel hollow, your head feels light...
> You forget everything.
"...y-yes? A-anon?"
> He leans down to you and say's the words you've dreamt about "...Fluttershy. I need you."
> He opens his arms to embrace you,
> You leap forward into them, smiling, tears of joy falling...
> He wraps those big, safe feeling arms around you and everything in the world feels right.
> You don't see the smile, wide and full of the wrong kind of hunger.
> You don't see those eyes, so beautiful, glint with a sick green tint.

-----

Now

-----

> With a start, you awaken.
> It's dark outside.
> Your wings... feel numb.
> They don't hurt, but that can't be good.
> You legs still ache, and let their protest known as you shift.
> A whimper tries to escape your mouth, but the gag does it's work.
> Dreaming.
> You were dreaming of the day when this all started.
> You hang there, lost and broken.
> ...and then he walks into the room.
> Anon is wearing one of his nicer outfits.
> Looks like the kind that you'd go out for a meal in.
> He looks so handsome...
> Standing there, he adjusts his suit then combs his hair in the mirror, but 5 feet away from you.
> You squirm..... try to shout... weep with rage... anything!
> ...but he doesn't hear.
> Anon turns and walks for the stairs.
> Your head hangs and you sob...
> Anon peers back into the room, puzzled.
> He walks in, slowly, stealthily.
> You notice his approach, eyes widening as you see him draw closer...
> Closer!
> His hand reaches out for the doorhandle and slowly, begins to turn it.
> The door creaks open, causing him to wince, but you?
> You don't care.
"mmmf! mmmfmf!"

> "...F-fluttershy? why are you?... I told you... you don't have to do things like this anymore... Just talk to me."
> He looks worried.
> He can tell something isn't right.
"mfff mmmfffmf"
> "Fluttershy?" He asks, nervously, as he reaches for the gag... tentatively at first, then frantic as he works it free.
"bwah hah hah *gasp* o-oh Anon... *sob* th-thank Celestia..."
> ".'shy...who did this to you? who?" He cradles your head in both his strong but still gentle hands.
"... chan... *gasp* change..."
> He leans in and whispers "It's over now... Shhh."
> He kisses you.
> His lips are firm, confident and, for a brief moment, take away all the hurt in the world.
> You close your eyes, sensing nothing but his touch on you.
> Your head spins, you feel dizzy...
> He's everything you ever...
> ...he draws back suddenly.
> "Don't want to be greedy now, do I Fluttershy?"
> You open you eyes, blinking...
> ...and see the familiar tint of green in his.

"...nooo...*sob*"
> "Quiet" he say's callously, with HIS stolen voice, and punctuates the command with a slap to your face.
"NO! What have you done with him? Tell me... let me go... I'll... I'll... I'll..."
> You throw yourself around in the cocoon of rope, uncaring of the pain it causes you, fury powering your limbs.
> Releasing a yell louder than you ever have before, you try to bash into the changeling.
> Just to strike back, however futile.
> You're screaming now, letting free a rage built up over a lifetime of backing down...
> You snap a bite at his stolen hands as he tries to gag you again.
> The backhand blow this earns you doesn't hurt, at first, but the impact shakes your whole body, leaving you reeling and knocking the fight out of you..
> Something crunched worryingly in your cheek...
> A bone?
> You don't know, but your face feels like it's swelling already.
> The ball is forced into your mouth while you tremble and squirm, resisting with all you have left.
> Your rage has fled you and now, the ache becomes a dull pain, slowly worsening.
> He turns to you as he shuts the door, wiping your blood of his stolen hand "Oh, come now. did you really think it was over?"

-----

> You hang there, the rope creaking.
> Steeling yourself for the pain, you ready to swing again.
> Dust from above falls again onto your head.
> Each time you swing, a little more falls.
> It's been this way since the changeling punched you so hard... so hard.
> It looks like it doesn't know it's... no. Anons own strength.
> The weakened hook above loosens more wood.
> You look up at the joist above with a firey determination in your eyes.
> Each swing is agony.
> It's hard... but Rarity told you about that.
> Every time you're that little bit closer to freedom.
> Not long now.
> It was right about something, the changeling.
"Did you really think it was over?"