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Hillary Clinton's Email Server

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Jul 25th, 2016
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  1. Hillary Clinton: Hello, it's me Secretary Clinton.
  2. Foreign Diplomat: Hello Hillary! Good to hear from you?
  3. Clinton: Just want to chat about that email that I sent?
  4. Diplomat: Email? I didn't get one.
  5. Clinton: I just sent it, please check, it's important.
  6. Diplomat: Nope. I don't have anything.
  7. Clinton: Oh, I have a home server, did you check your Spam folder?
  8.  
  9. McChrystal: But, Hillary, I told you I was going to do that Rolling Stone interview, I sent you an email about it,
  10. Clinton: Yeah, I know! I replied immediately! I told you NOT TO.
  11. McChrystal: What? I never ... Oh, I see it now. It was in my Spam folder.
  12.  
  13. Clinton: My email is being marked spam! Why?
  14. IT: It's a home server, does it have reverse DNS set up?
  15. Clinton: What? Inverse Dean's a mess?
  16. IT: OK, how about SPF?
  17. Clinton: What's that?
  18. IT: Sender Policy Framework?
  19. Clinton: POLICY? Don't you know the republicans control the house!
  20. IT: DKIM?
  21. Clinton: Look I'm not going to start anything with North Korea right now! Get out of here.
  22.  
  23. Hillary: I think the North Koreans are messing with my email, and Howard Dean's got something to do with it. I think he's working with the House Republicans. The IT guy seems to know something about it.
  24. Bill: SHHH!! I think George W. has a hidden bug placed in our bedside lamp.
  25. Hillary: Bush? Why? Wha...
  26. Bill: (whispering) Don't worry, its a Bro thing. This IT guy, can he help erase some security camera footage from my Hotel last weekend?
  27. Hillary: What? Hotel? Where you with Epstein? I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM JEFFREY EPSTEIN!
  28. Bill: What? When?
  29. Hillary: The email that I sent you?!
  30. Bill: I didn't get any email...
  31.  
  32. Hillary Clinton: Hello, your Majesty! We need to talk about your son.
  33. HRH Queen Elizabeth II: Charles?
  34. Clinton: No, Andrew. My stupid husband's been with Epstein, the story about the 15 year old is going to break. Howard Dean and the North Koreans might know. You have to get Andrew out of the Foreign Office I'm afraid, I can't have this getting any closer to me. I'll send you an email.
  35. HRH: A what? I do not want a female!
  36. Clinton: An email! EEEEE MAIL.
  37. HRH hangs up.
  38.  
  39. IT Guy: Hello Secretary Clinton, I'm here to update your server.
  40. Clinton: An Update? I'd love an update! What about the North Koreans?
  41. IT: Umm?
  42. Clinton: Howard Dean?
  43. IT: Not sure, but there's an XML Serialization exploit.
  44. Clinton: Syrialization?!
  45. IT: Yeah, you need a new lib.
  46. Clinton: A NEW LIBYA!
  47. IT: What? Umm, should I do the Update?
  48. Clinton: I've got it! Thanks for the update! Have you figured out whats going with my email?
  49. IT: Is it being deleted by Spam Assassin?
  50. Clinton: ASSASSINS? Are they Libyan or Syrian?
  51. IT: Umm, I think it's from Apache.
  52. Clinton: INDIANS!?
  53.  
  54. Obama: Hello Hillary. What's up?
  55. Clinton: Did you get my email?
  56. Obama: I checked my Spam folder, I didn't see anything.
  57. Clinton: DAMN! Those Native American Assassins must have got to it!
  58. Obama: Native American?
  59. Clinton: Just listen, we need to change course on North Korea!
  60. Obama: But you said...
  61. Clinton: Yeah, that IT guy can't be trusted, I met a guy online who likes Gucci as much as I do, he's helping me fix my email, but I didn't tell the IT guy so I got an update from him.
  62. Obama: So, what is it.
  63. Clinton: We need to go into Libya and Syria.
  64.  
  65.  
  66. @dmytri
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