funny potato

{
  "potato.quest.anvil_dropped.jump.0": "There, that should do it.",
  "potato.quest.anvil_dropped.jump.1": "Use that Anvil to write your thoughts on the Paper.",
  "potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.0": "Wow I can't believe you fell for that.",
  "potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.1": "Potatiesh really is the ultimate Staff.",
  "potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.2": "And now it's half-way composted into Bonemeal.",
  "potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.3": "Congratulations.",
  "potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.4": "I made a fool out of you %1$s.",
  "potato.quest.composted_staff.jump.5": "April Fools'!",
  "potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.0": "Wow nice crafting. Have you played Minecraft before?",
  "potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.1": "Now we're going to go on a little adventure.",
  "potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.2": "Throw the Potato Eye into the air.",
  "potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.3": "When I say \"throw\" I don't mean \"drop\".",
  "potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.4": "It's something to do with \"Using\" the Potato Eye with %3$s.",
  "potato.quest.crafted_eyes.jump.5": "Look into the sky and use the Potato Eye with %3$s.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.0": "At last. The Potato Dimension.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.1": "Does something smell...Starchy to you?",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.2": "I think you need to change your shampoo.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.3": "I am feeling quite greasy up here.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.4": "Let's focus on the task at hand.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.5": "...",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.6": "This place is looking rather tragic.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.7": "Have you seen the animals?",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.8": "The Minecraft Pig is looking pretty cheeky.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.9": "And so is the Cow.\nVery cheeky.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.10": "Anyhow, we should find a Potato Village.",
  "potato.quest.dimension.jump.11": "There should be a Potato Village around here somewhere...",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.0": "The Potato Eye is pointing around here.",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.1": "That means we're near the right place!",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.2": "Let's start digging until we find the structure.",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.3": "Come on, %1$s. Time to put the MINE into Minecraft.",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.4": "...",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.5": "What I'm trying to say is: Start digging.",
  "potato.quest.found_colosseum.jump.6": "Mine your way into the structure.",
  "potato.quest.found_portal.jump.0": "Is that the portal?",
  "potato.quest.found_portal.jump.1": "It seems a little...Worse for wear.",
  "potato.quest.found_portal.jump.2": "I see a Pedestal in the middle.",
  "potato.quest.found_portal.jump.3": "Have you got a spare Poisonous Potato with you?",
  "potato.quest.found_portal.jump.4": "Try using a Poisonous Potato with the Pedestal.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.0": "I've written my best Minecraft ideas in this book.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.1": "They are very original ideas.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.2": "If the Developers don't use them then I could make a mod.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.3": "Or maybe they could give me a job?",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.4": "I could start by making everyone coffee.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.5": "I'd tell jokes about drinking coffee and writing Java code.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.6": "They probably only hire Minecraft experts.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.7": "%1$s! We should become Minecraft experts!",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.8": "And I know the perfect way to do that.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.9": "Our intelligence tells us of a legendary Greatstaff: Potatiesh.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.10": "Spoiler alert: It is the ultimate item in this April Fools' Snapshot.",
  "potato.quest.got_book.jump.11": "You need to acquire Potatiesh, Greatstaff of the Peasant.",
  "potato.quest.got_paper.jump.0": "You should hopefully have some Paper on you.",
  "potato.quest.got_paper.jump.1": "Oh wait, you need an Anvil too.",
  "potato.quest.got_paper.jump.2": "",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.0": "This is Potatiesh, Greatstaff of the Peasant!",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.1": "Now I need you to follow my instructions very carefully.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.2": "Place Potatiesh into a Composter.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.3": "Trust me. I will definitely NOT betray you.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.4": "Find a Composter, and pop Potatiesh in there.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.5": "It would be super cool if you closed your eyes afterwards.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.6": "Just pop Potatiesh into a Composter, and then close your eyes.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.7": "It's a really real thing that you can definitely do.",
  "potato.quest.got_staff.jump.8": "Find a Composter, and use Potatiesh with it.",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.0": "Defend yourself. I'll watch your back!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.1": "Look out!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.2": "Try a critical hit!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.3": "Swing faster!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.4": "No, don't do that!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.5": "Is that TNT?",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.6": "If only you were wearing a Helmet.",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.7": "Go that way!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.8": "Go the other way!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.9": "Try unplugging your mouse and swinging it!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.10": "Place some blocks!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.11": "Throw a blanket over it!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.12": "Try spinning really fast!",
  "potato.quest.got_sword.jump.13": "",
  "potato.quest.in_village.0": "There should be a Bed around here that we can take.",
  "potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.0": "Woah. I think we're here.",
  "potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.1": "This looks like some kind of Colosseum.",
  "potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.2": "I think you'll need this Wooden Sword.",
  "potato.quest.inside_colosseum.jump.3": "",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.0": "Well, well, well. It looks like you found us.\n(Press [%2$s] to acknowledge)",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.1": "Woah, steady on your feet there %1$s.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.2": "You're probably thinking: \"What's the deal with this guy?\"",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.3": "I invite you to take a moment to consider my situation.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.4": "We've been planning on infiltrating Minecraft for weeks.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.5": "But all we could manage is sneaking into this April Fools' Snapshot.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.6": "And now you've discovered us.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.7": "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to write Java code?",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.8": "It's not as simple as copying samples from the internet.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.9": "There's also a lot of pasting involved.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.10": "We had to write tens of lines of code by rolling on the keys\nand hoping for the best.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.11": "And now that I have finally infiltrated Minecraft:\nYou pranced on over, picked me up, and plopped me on your head.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.12": "I must say, you have incredible balance keeping me up here.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.13": "Especially considering you're jumping so much.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.14": "Why are you jumping? Are you being startled?",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.15": "I don't see much to be startled by around here.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.16": "Then again, I have no eyes as I am a Poisonous Potato.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.17": "So really I'm not going to see much at all.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.18": "Although the little sprouts growing out of me are also called eyes.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.19": "Perhaps if I squint hard enough I can see where we're at.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.20": "Watch out! There's a block over there! Try not to be startled by it!",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.21": "Maybe you need a moment to breathe and relax.\nThis world is very startling, afterall.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.22": "If we can find a Village we could take one of those Beds and rest.",
  "potato.quest.intro.jump.23": "Let's find a Minecraft Village.",
  "potato.quest.leaving_village.jump.0": "Woah, woah, woah. You need to rest your tired feet, remember?",
  "potato.quest.leaving_village.jump.1": "Let's go back to that Village and take a Bed.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.0": "By the way-",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.1": "What do you think of this year's April Fools' joke?",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.2": "I preferred the one where you could only pick up a single Block.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.3": "But this year I think they nailed it.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.4": "Potatoes!",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.5": "Hilarious.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.6": "Anyways. I am genuinely interested in your thoughts.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.7": "...",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.8": "I'm trying to read your thoughts,\nbut I don't think we are communicating with telepathy.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.9": "At least, two-way telepathy. This feels rather unidirectional.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.10": "And then you jump every now and then.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.11": "I am only assuming that jumping is a sign of acknowledgement.",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.12": "Perhaps I can modify your inventory...",
  "potato.quest.meta_one.jump.13": "",
  "potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.0": "Just as I thought. A portal.",
  "potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.1": "I think you know what happens next.",
  "potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.2": "You're going to waltz on in there, find a Dragon,\nand destroy some Potato themed crystals.",
  "potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.3": "This Snapshot is dripping with creativity.",
  "potato.quest.portal_opened.jump.4": "Lucky that I am here to provide commentary and context.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.0": "Awesome, you're in a Potato Village.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.1": "This will be our base of operations from here on out.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.2": "Familiarize yourself with the Villagers.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.3": "Steal their loot, etc. The usual Minecraft stuff.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.4": "There's some neat stuff around here.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.5": "Most of it is Potato themed.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.6": "But as long as you think Potatoes are neat.\nYou'll be right at home.",
  "potato.quest.potato_village.jump.7": "Once you're ready:\nThrow another one of those Potato Eyes.",
  "potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.0": "I'm pretty sure I said TAKE a Bed.",
  "potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.1": "Sleeping in a Bed is not the same as taking a Bed.",
  "potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.2": "If I had meant that, I would have said:\n\"Hey %1$s. You should TAKE a nap\".",
  "potato.quest.slept_in_bed.jump.3": "",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.0": "On the road, once again.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.1": "This time we're looking for a dangerous place.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.2": "It'll be a battle against the ultimate Potato.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.3": "That's all the information I have.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.4": "If I were to guess: It's probably a Maris Piper.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.5": "Known to be the most versatile of the Potatoes.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.6": "It's worth going in with the right tools.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.7": "Sharpen up some swords, boil up some potions.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.8": "Don't forget to also cook up some potatoes.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye_part_two.jump.9": "We're certainly not lacking for potatoes here.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.0": "Excellent.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.1": "It looks like a developer copy-pasted the Ender Eye code for this.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.2": "That means there's a chance these Potato Eyes could break.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.3": "Remember to craft more if you lose a Potato Eye.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.4": "Wow a Minecraft adventure. This is exciting.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.5": "I wonder what the deal is with the Potatoes?",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.6": "Perhaps the Developers REALLY like Potatoes.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.7": "At least, the Poisonous ones.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.8": "Poisonous Potatoes, that is.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.9": "Not Poisonous Developers.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.10": "Do you think the Developers are hiding somewhere in this Snapshot?",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.11": "Maybe we will meet one!",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.12": "You should take my Minecraft ideas to show them.",
  "potato.quest.thrown_eye.jump.13": "",
  "potato.quest.took_bed.jump.0": "Did I say take a Bed? I think I meant to say \"Take a nap\".",
  "potato.quest.took_bed.jump.1": "",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.0": "I don't think I can read this Paper.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.1": "My Potato eyes aren't suitable for reading.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.2": "Remember what I said about not being able to see?",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.3": "Nothing has changed in that department.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.4": "I will assume that you are VERY enthusiastic about the Snapshot.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.5": "It will be on page 1 of my report.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.6": "\"%1$s really likes the Poisonous Potato themed jokes.\"",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.7": "There. It's in my report.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.8": "Actually I might need that Paper back.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.9": "I tore it from the back of my report.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.10": "And I think that page was the appendix.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.11": "The first item in the appendix will be your take on this Snapshot.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.12": "You must be wondering what this report is about.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.13": "It pertains as to why I am here in Minecraft.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.14": "And that information is CLASSIFIED.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.15": "But I will hint that it involves the Poisonous Potato.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.16": "We believe there is some significance to the Poisonous Potato.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.17": "And from analysis of the Minecraft code...",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.18": "We believe you should try cutting out the eyes.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.19": "Or more accurately: Craft out the Potato Eyes.",
  "potato.quest.wrote_thoughts.jump.20": "Go on %1$s.\nCraft Potato Eyes from a Poisonous Potato."
}