My Summer as a Goth

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

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Looks like mom
has been here...

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always with the expected.

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Seems like it was just

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the last day of third grade

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when we started
our tradition of ice cream

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and a trip to the museum.

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How crazy that it's
the last day of tenth

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and you aren't here.

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How are you?

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Kind of an unusual spot.

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Or do you spend
a lot of time in cemeteries?

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Yeah.

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Dead people don't ask you
how you're doing all the time.

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Anyway,
sounds like I'm off to Mimi

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and Papa's
for the summer.

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I would rather be anywhere else.

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I can't believe I won't be able
to visit you every day.

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Yeah, it's totally
not creepy

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that you're just sitting here
all by yourself

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staring at everyone.

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Wanna join us?

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Come on!

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Molly's
trying so hard

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to include me... and, no,

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I still have nothing in common

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with Shelley and the Karens,

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even though we've been
in school together forever.

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Hey, kids.
What's the latest?

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We were just discussing our
fabulous summer plans.

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Joey,
does your family still go

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to the San River every summer?

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Oh, my mom's
on this book tour this year,

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so we probably won't make it.

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So, you're just going to hang
out with your pops then?

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Shut up, Shelley!

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No, I'm the girl
whose dad died, remember?

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So, you're really going
to abandon me this summer?

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Marissa is the one
abandoning me

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for her stupid book tour.

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My dad's body is practically
still warm.

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- Too dark?
- A little.

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Hey, congrats
on those stellar PSAT scores!

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You'll be writing your own
ticket to college

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- if you keep that chiz up.
- Thank you, Mr. Gately.

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You guys joining the other
kids for the big tailgater?

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Yeah, I'm not really

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in the mood for date rape
tonight, so...

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Okay, well,
have a great summer.

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Thanks, Mr. Gately.
Too dark?

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So, you're going to the party
with me tonight?

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You are the worst
best friend ever.

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You're gonna
love me for it.

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Aaron's gonna be there,
and he and I are, like,

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meant to be together forever.

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I wouldn't want
to interfere with destiny.

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- See you later.
- Right. Bye.

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Like you said,
the best day of school

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is the last day of school.

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Not exactly thrilled

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to be hanging out with the old
folks this summer,

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but at least I won't be here.

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Mom?

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Marissa?

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Is there a dinner?

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Dinner? Right.
Um, Pizza?

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- Again?
- No dishes.

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I really want to come home
to a clean house.

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Great!
I'm not hungry.

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- Are you packed?
- Thinking about it.

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Anything else?

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I put a fresh bouquet
on Daddy's grave today.

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I know.

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Oh, you took
the flowers out of the vase?

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Is that a problem?

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00:07:21,264 --> 00:07:22,733
Well, they won't
last as long.

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If you wanted
them to last long,

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you wouldn't have cut them.

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Well, we're not going
to be here

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to enjoy them this summer.

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So, I thought Daddy
might like them.

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As if Daddy
can even see them.

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- What are you doing?
- Packing.

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Well, what are
you looking for?

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Sweatshirt.

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Molly and I are going
out tonight.

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When are you going
to be home?

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The question isn't when,
dear Carissa, it's if.

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Oh, my God.
He's coming over here.

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Act like I just said something
really funny.

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I know, right?

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Hi Molly,
having a good night?

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00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,146
Hi Aaron.
You know Joey, right?

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00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:11,347
Yeah.
We had chem together, right?

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00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,082
I'm surprised
you remember.

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You never said
a single word to me.

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So, who wants a drink?

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I'd love one, thanks.

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Okay.

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BRB.

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- Better stay right there.
- I promise I won't leave.

102
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Is this seat taken?

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Yeah, Molly's
coming right back.

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Are you sure about that?

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To the best summer ever.

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You know,
You're not the only one

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who doesn't like
coming at these.

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Do I fill my nose?

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Yeah,
they look miserable.

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Aaron,
this is a total no-fun zone,

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- come back to the party!
- All right.

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Sorry about your dad, Joey.

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Peace out, bitches.

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Joey, stop that.

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What will people think?

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Dad would have
thought that was funny.

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You ready?

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Thank you.

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Mom? Dad?

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You came through my vagina.
You can come through the door.

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We discovered juicing.
That's good.

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- There my girls!
- Hey Joseph!

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- Hi Papa!
- Sweetie!

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Power boost
for the road!

125
00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:20,075
Beets, kale
and pinch of psyllium husk.

126
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What? It's good for the colon.

127
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,414
I hope your seated
on the aisle.

128
00:10:24,446 --> 00:10:26,182
So you're coming
with us, Joey?

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I'm not a fan
of airport goodbyes.

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I'll check in with you
when I get to JFK, all right?

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I'm at a loss.

132
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Don't worry,
we'll take good care of her.

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She is our favorite
granddaughter after all.

134
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I'm your only
granddaughter.

135
00:10:43,099 --> 00:10:45,134
We'll see you in August
for our 40th?

136
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- That's the plan.
- Okay.

137
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,809
So, who wants to do drugs?

138
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Hot acid.

139
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A little cocaine made.

140
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Maybe I should
settle away

141
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and before you hit
the hard stuff.

142
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You're very reasonable
for a teenager.

143
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- I rule!
- Ugh.

144
00:11:35,084 --> 00:11:36,685
I don't think
I need to play another round

145
00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:39,222
of miniature golf
for quite some time.

146
00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:41,924
You're just sore
'cause I beat you.

147
00:11:41,958 --> 00:11:44,328
Yeah, miniature
golf is pretty lame.

148
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,295
No, actually,
you're quite good.

149
00:11:46,329 --> 00:11:48,764
Give your old Mimi
a run for her money.

150
00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:51,268
You should know
that your grandmother

151
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,970
is the miniature golf
champion of the family.

152
00:11:56,305 --> 00:11:59,575
You guys are cute.
Mom and Dad were just like you.

153
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:04,012
So, Joey,
you have a boyfriend?

154
00:12:04,046 --> 00:12:06,182
Well, haven't
found the right guy yet?

155
00:12:06,215 --> 00:12:08,817
Oh, Joseph,
maybe she's a lesbian.

156
00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:10,053
That's okay!

157
00:12:10,085 --> 00:12:11,687
A lot of kids are gay
these days.

158
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,656
Jesus, I'm not a lesbian.

159
00:12:15,358 --> 00:12:16,459
Let's go!

160
00:12:16,493 --> 00:12:18,829
You guys are a little too cool,
it's freaking me out.

161
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:26,935
Good afternoon, Roy.

162
00:12:26,969 --> 00:12:29,439
Hello, Joseph.
Hello, Margaret.

163
00:12:29,472 --> 00:12:30,874
You got your granddaughter?

164
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This is Joey,
stuck with us all summer.

165
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Poor sucker.

166
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Victor is back
with us again.

167
00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:38,882
Who knows how long this time?

168
00:12:38,915 --> 00:12:41,017
But why so glum?

169
00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:42,719
He's gone goth.

170
00:12:42,752 --> 00:12:44,020
Well, I don't
know what that means,

171
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,756
but it doesn't sound good.

172
00:12:45,789 --> 00:12:47,891
We'll see you for cards
tomorrow night?

173
00:12:47,924 --> 00:12:49,693
Looking forward to it.

174
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,006
Joey! Joey!

175
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,009
Grandpa and I are heading
over to the Irelands' for cards.

176
00:13:07,209 --> 00:13:09,211
Hello!

177
00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:11,047
- Hello!
- What?

178
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,648
We play late.

179
00:13:12,681 --> 00:13:14,151
So don't wait up.

180
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,019
Ugh, you crazy kids.

181
00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:18,589
What will I ever do with you?
Whoa!

182
00:13:19,388 --> 00:13:21,358
Oh, okay.
What are you doing?

183
00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:24,861
Why don't you
jump on my bike

184
00:13:24,895 --> 00:13:27,029
and tear through
the neighborhood, okay?

185
00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:28,599
Good girl.

186
00:14:09,037 --> 00:14:10,173
Shit!

187
00:14:17,213 --> 00:14:18,415
Hello, young lady.

188
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,050
- Joey?
- What are you doing here?

189
00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:21,851
Is everything OK?
Where are you going?

190
00:14:21,884 --> 00:14:22,951
Victor, honey!

191
00:14:22,985 --> 00:14:24,287
Someone's here to see you.

192
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,929
Victor, this is
our granddaughter, Joey.

193
00:14:31,961 --> 00:14:33,996
She's spending
the summer with us.

194
00:14:34,031 --> 00:14:35,765
Lucky Joey,

195
00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:39,435
You know you have the coolest
grandparents ever, right?

196
00:14:39,469 --> 00:14:42,671
And your mom's like,
that famous novelist, yeah?

197
00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:44,674
I'm sorry, I thought
I saw something.

198
00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,677
I'm leaving now.

199
00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:48,579
Nice to see you,
Joey.

200
00:14:49,978 --> 00:14:51,214
What is it all about?

201
00:14:51,247 --> 00:14:52,649
Good question.

202
00:14:56,886 --> 00:14:58,355
Hey, wait up!

203
00:15:05,094 --> 00:15:07,430
- Wait.
- Okay, I know what I saw.

204
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:08,698
Your window was open

205
00:15:08,732 --> 00:15:10,199
and pretty music
was blasting out of it,

206
00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:11,633
so It couldn't help but notice.

207
00:15:11,666 --> 00:15:12,935
Next time you attempt suicide,

208
00:15:12,969 --> 00:15:14,371
you might wanna try
turning your lights off!

209
00:15:14,403 --> 00:15:15,972
You liked my music?

210
00:15:17,406 --> 00:15:18,808
What?

211
00:15:18,842 --> 00:15:22,613
The music I was playing,
you said you liked it.

212
00:15:24,747 --> 00:15:27,818
Uh, yeah, it was sad
and beautiful.

213
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:32,154
Two great tastes
that taste great together.

214
00:15:33,222 --> 00:15:34,790
I'm sorry I scared you.

215
00:15:34,824 --> 00:15:37,359
I was just doing one
of my performance pieces.

216
00:15:37,392 --> 00:15:40,028
A performance?
For who?

217
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:42,398
For myself. Who else?

218
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:49,372
What?

219
00:15:49,405 --> 00:15:51,007
Well, I can't come in.

220
00:15:51,041 --> 00:15:52,876
And why not?

221
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:55,811
A vampire has to be
invited into a mortal's home.

222
00:15:55,844 --> 00:15:57,846
I thought everyone knew that.

223
00:15:57,881 --> 00:16:00,050
OK, whatever.
Just come on in.

224
00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:07,823
Got any beer?

225
00:16:09,257 --> 00:16:10,661
Uh... root beer?

226
00:16:13,729 --> 00:16:15,132
Adorable.

227
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:23,306
So, if you're a vampire,
shouldn't you be drinking blood?

228
00:16:24,239 --> 00:16:26,975
You know, I'm not
really a vampire.

229
00:16:27,009 --> 00:16:30,780
But don't tell my grandparents,
they're the real vampires.

230
00:16:31,748 --> 00:16:33,081
Wait, I'm not following.

231
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:36,018
You're not really a vampire,
but your grandparents are?

232
00:16:36,051 --> 00:16:37,086
Imagine
their disappointment

233
00:16:37,119 --> 00:16:39,623
when they find out
I am only a goth.

234
00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:52,334
You wanna make out?

235
00:16:52,368 --> 00:16:54,970
Err, I'm good. Thanks.

236
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:02,144
What does your room look like?

237
00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:19,095
Wow, so tidy!

238
00:17:19,129 --> 00:17:20,830
You're not a serial killer,
are you?

239
00:17:20,863 --> 00:17:22,766
Because I saw this show

240
00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:25,667
and serial killers tend
to be very clean.

241
00:17:25,701 --> 00:17:27,336
Well, I am not
a serial killer.

242
00:17:28,471 --> 00:17:34,377
Well, I guess I won't know
until it's too late.

243
00:17:37,913 --> 00:17:40,616
Nice. Firm.

244
00:17:49,025 --> 00:17:51,093
Not half bad taste in music.

245
00:17:51,126 --> 00:17:54,729
Um, you are very smug,
you know that, mister?

246
00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:57,132
If by smug
you mean awesome,

247
00:17:57,165 --> 00:17:58,834
you'd be correct, young lady.

248
00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:01,804
Got any pot?

249
00:18:01,837 --> 00:18:03,172
Yeah, right.

250
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,143
Oh, I've never done drugs.

251
00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,278
Well...

252
00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:12,783
there's a first time
for everything, isn't there?

253
00:18:19,287 --> 00:18:21,056
Do... do you mind
taking that outside?

254
00:18:21,091 --> 00:18:22,358
I just don't want
my grandparents thinking

255
00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:24,326
I'm some kind of drug addict.

256
00:18:27,162 --> 00:18:30,232
Smoking a little grass
hardly makes you a drug addict.

257
00:18:31,299 --> 00:18:32,368
Here.

258
00:18:34,336 --> 00:18:35,738
Impressive timing.

259
00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:37,206
You know, it's very impolite

260
00:18:37,239 --> 00:18:38,974
to turn down
another person's weed.

261
00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:45,681
Okay.

262
00:19:03,699 --> 00:19:08,671
He looked
at the girl, aimed the pistol...

263
00:19:08,703 --> 00:19:11,307
and fired a bullet through
his right temple.

264
00:19:13,843 --> 00:19:15,745
He freaking shot himself.

265
00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:21,418
Okay wait, so he just
kills himself, and then it ends?

266
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:22,885
That is so messed up.

267
00:19:24,019 --> 00:19:26,122
We're dying from the moment
we're born, poodle.

268
00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:27,957
It's best that you accept
that now.

269
00:19:30,927 --> 00:19:32,195
Oh, my God.

270
00:19:32,228 --> 00:19:36,364
Is it really that late?
Where are my grandparents?

271
00:19:36,399 --> 00:19:38,635
I'm telling you,
there are vampires over there.

272
00:19:40,436 --> 00:19:44,307
Should we eat some more?

273
00:19:45,674 --> 00:19:47,676
I'm thinking yes.

274
00:19:49,078 --> 00:19:50,680
Great.

275
00:19:55,651 --> 00:19:57,387
Did I scare you?

276
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,792
Good!

277
00:20:30,853 --> 00:20:31,720
We were wondering

278
00:20:31,755 --> 00:20:33,389
when you were gonna
come back to life.

279
00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:34,656
What time is it?

280
00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:36,092
Almost noon.

281
00:20:36,124 --> 00:20:37,826
You kids had fun last night?

282
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,862
I should ask you
two the same thing.

283
00:20:39,895 --> 00:20:40,930
Last time I checked,

284
00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:42,865
it was 2:00AM and you still
hadn't made it home.

285
00:20:44,432 --> 00:20:47,903
Whoa.
Does he do that often?

286
00:20:47,937 --> 00:20:50,306
Do what, dear? What?

287
00:20:52,975 --> 00:20:55,178
Breakfast is served.

288
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:59,649
Of course, it's almost lunch,
but, what the hell?

289
00:20:59,681 --> 00:21:01,617
Really?
Is the nakedness necessary?

290
00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:04,286
He isn't naked, dear.
He's wearing an apron.

291
00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:10,793
So, what are you doing today?
Any plans?

292
00:21:10,826 --> 00:21:13,696
Victor and I thought that it
would be fun to hang out.

293
00:21:23,038 --> 00:21:25,040
You look really beautiful.

294
00:21:25,074 --> 00:21:26,241
I look really awkward.

295
00:21:26,276 --> 00:21:28,612
But in a really
attractive way.

296
00:21:30,145 --> 00:21:32,614
Oh!

297
00:21:32,649 --> 00:21:36,119
Think of it as an advance
on your inheritance.

298
00:21:36,151 --> 00:21:37,687
Have fun tonight!

299
00:21:37,719 --> 00:21:39,221
Thank you, Papa.

300
00:21:53,803 --> 00:21:56,672
Hi, Mr. Ireland,
uh, is Victor home?

301
00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:58,742
You know, I think
he just went to the coffee shop.

302
00:21:59,874 --> 00:22:01,209
Really?

303
00:22:01,242 --> 00:22:03,645
We were supposed
to hang out together.

304
00:22:03,679 --> 00:22:04,781
He went to get coffee.

305
00:22:04,814 --> 00:22:05,848
He went for coffee.

306
00:22:05,882 --> 00:22:07,283
Are you excited
about the fourth?

307
00:22:07,316 --> 00:22:09,651
I hadn't really thought
about it.

308
00:22:09,684 --> 00:22:11,286
You're an American,
aren't you?

309
00:22:11,319 --> 00:22:12,787
Well,
yes, I'm an American,

310
00:22:12,821 --> 00:22:15,124
but the fourth seems
a little bit far off.

311
00:22:15,157 --> 00:22:18,161
It's around the corner.
I just got back from Tijuana

312
00:22:18,193 --> 00:22:19,828
with this little baby.

313
00:22:20,997 --> 00:22:23,700
Now, if the cops come knocking,
you ain't seen nothing.

314
00:22:23,732 --> 00:22:24,899
Oh, okay.

315
00:22:24,933 --> 00:22:26,969
Well, have a good day,
Mr. and Mrs. Ireland.

316
00:22:29,037 --> 00:22:30,406
Strange girl.

317
00:22:31,373 --> 00:22:35,611
There you are.

318
00:22:35,644 --> 00:22:36,979
Can't talk now, Mom.
Gotta run.

319
00:23:11,747 --> 00:23:13,083
Victor?

320
00:23:13,115 --> 00:23:14,683
Hi, hey, there.

321
00:23:14,717 --> 00:23:16,051
Hey, everyone,
have you met

322
00:23:16,084 --> 00:23:18,254
my new friend, Joey?
Joey, this is Pen,

323
00:23:18,286 --> 00:23:19,988
and this is her boyfriend, Cobb.

324
00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:24,260
Hi. Pen and Cobb
are those nicknames

325
00:23:24,294 --> 00:23:25,227
or something?

326
00:23:25,259 --> 00:23:26,728
Pen is an adult female swan.

327
00:23:26,761 --> 00:23:28,229
Cobb is an adult male swan.

328
00:23:28,264 --> 00:23:30,700
Did you guys know
that swans mate for life?

329
00:23:30,732 --> 00:23:32,667
Course we know that,
don't we, beloved?

330
00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:34,069
Pen and Cobb
have made a blood vow

331
00:23:34,103 --> 00:23:35,371
to be together forever.

332
00:23:35,404 --> 00:23:36,905
See, they have phials
of each other's blood

333
00:23:36,939 --> 00:23:37,940
around their neck.

334
00:23:37,973 --> 00:23:39,208
Isn't that romantic?

335
00:23:40,308 --> 00:23:41,344
Sure.

336
00:23:42,878 --> 00:23:44,947
When he dies, I will take
my own life immediately

337
00:23:44,979 --> 00:23:46,781
and he will do the same for me
if I pass on

338
00:23:46,815 --> 00:23:49,219
to the next world before him.
We'll be together in this life

339
00:23:49,251 --> 00:23:50,385
and in the hereafter.

340
00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:51,621
If there is a hereafter.

341
00:23:51,653 --> 00:23:52,921
Of course,
there is a hereafter.

342
00:23:52,955 --> 00:23:54,424
Positively can't wait
for the hereafter.

343
00:23:54,457 --> 00:23:55,824
But what if we're
already dead?

344
00:23:55,857 --> 00:23:57,192
And this is the hereafter.

345
00:23:57,226 --> 00:24:00,029
I love you exquisitely
twisted mind, you know that?

346
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,232
You ditched
the grandparents this afternoon.

347
00:24:02,265 --> 00:24:05,168
A person can only
play so much canasta, really.

348
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,635
I love canasta.

349
00:24:10,105 --> 00:24:14,809
Victor, can I talk to you
in private for a second?

350
00:24:14,843 --> 00:24:16,146
Sure.

351
00:24:23,018 --> 00:24:24,086
What's up?

352
00:24:25,455 --> 00:24:27,957
It's just that I... I thought
we were gonna hang out,

353
00:24:27,990 --> 00:24:29,758
you know, together.

354
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:32,161
Jesus, Joey,
I'm really shocked.

355
00:24:32,193 --> 00:24:33,662
We didn't even have sex
last night,

356
00:24:33,696 --> 00:24:35,264
- you're already so possessive.
- No, no.

357
00:24:35,297 --> 00:24:37,032
I mean,
you stalked me all the way here,

358
00:24:37,065 --> 00:24:38,968
and now I hear you give me
a guilt trip about meeting up

359
00:24:39,001 --> 00:24:39,834
with my friends?

360
00:24:39,867 --> 00:24:41,236
I wasn't stalking you,
I just thought

361
00:24:41,269 --> 00:24:44,173
- that we were gonna hang on.
- Joey, relax.

362
00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:45,708
I'm just kidding.

363
00:24:45,740 --> 00:24:46,709
I didn't have your number
in my phone,

364
00:24:46,742 --> 00:24:49,110
so I thought you'd figure out
to meet me here.

365
00:24:49,144 --> 00:24:52,248
But you're really sweet,
you know that, right?

366
00:24:57,151 --> 00:24:58,621
What?

367
00:24:58,653 --> 00:25:02,025
It's just your outfit
is really bringing me down.

368
00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:04,960
It's time to freshen things up
a little bit,

369
00:25:04,994 --> 00:25:08,363
and by "freshen," I mean
change every single thing

370
00:25:08,396 --> 00:25:10,799
about the way you look.

371
00:25:13,436 --> 00:25:14,904
Will this help?

372
00:25:16,005 --> 00:25:18,306
Pen, Cobb,
emergency makeover.

373
00:25:26,114 --> 00:25:28,351
Back off, bitch,
Eliza Doolittle's mine.

374
00:25:33,756 --> 00:25:35,658
You'll be a new woman
once I'm done with you.

375
00:25:43,799 --> 00:25:45,300
She gets really moved
by makeovers.

376
00:26:05,421 --> 00:26:08,757
Just one last thing.

377
00:26:08,789 --> 00:26:10,125
Okay.

378
00:26:16,065 --> 00:26:17,866
Look at this pair of WOBs.

379
00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:19,768
WOBs?

380
00:26:19,802 --> 00:26:22,205
Wearers Of Black,
like you now.

381
00:26:23,337 --> 00:26:26,174
What's a great color
on you ladies! Very slimming.

382
00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:27,376
What the hell!

383
00:26:30,011 --> 00:26:31,079
How's our girl?

384
00:26:31,113 --> 00:26:32,180
We went shopping.

385
00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:34,050
This is no time
for small talk,

386
00:26:34,083 --> 00:26:35,618
your whole life
is about to change.

387
00:26:35,651 --> 00:26:36,952
Thank you.

388
00:26:39,955 --> 00:26:41,824
Should we be worried?

389
00:26:41,856 --> 00:26:44,594
They're teenagers. Yes.

390
00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:49,097
Okay.
Oh, these are nice!

391
00:26:49,131 --> 00:26:52,168
We should dye this.

392
00:26:55,270 --> 00:26:57,039
What do you think?

393
00:26:58,207 --> 00:27:00,008
Utterly lugubrious.

394
00:27:00,042 --> 00:27:01,410
The Utterly Lugubrious.

395
00:27:01,442 --> 00:27:03,145
What do you think of that
for our band name?

396
00:27:04,412 --> 00:27:05,847
Check this out.

397
00:27:11,319 --> 00:27:15,190
Oh, my God, my mom is gonna
kill me.

398
00:27:16,758 --> 00:27:18,728
It's awesome, I love it.

399
00:27:20,929 --> 00:27:22,663
Like this?

400
00:27:22,698 --> 00:27:25,935
- You can do that?
- Oh... Oh, God.

401
00:27:27,335 --> 00:27:30,305
You look like the bride
of Frankenstein.

402
00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:31,806
Hot.

403
00:27:31,841 --> 00:27:33,709
Hey. See you at 8:00?

404
00:27:33,741 --> 00:27:36,778
I don't think
I'm gonna make it tonight.

405
00:27:37,979 --> 00:27:39,848
Close your eye.

406
00:27:50,258 --> 00:27:52,795
You know, there's no going
back now, right?

407
00:28:13,114 --> 00:28:16,651
Wow!
You guys going to a funeral?

408
00:28:16,686 --> 00:28:18,221
Why? Do you happen
to know of any good ones?

409
00:28:18,254 --> 00:28:19,988
We're off
to a party, you guys.

410
00:28:20,021 --> 00:28:23,125
We'll get her home safe.
Promise.

411
00:28:26,061 --> 00:28:29,098
Did you see what
that boy did to our Joey?

412
00:28:29,131 --> 00:28:33,701
Yeah. It finally looks like
she's having some fun.

413
00:28:33,735 --> 00:28:34,737
Uh...

414
00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:38,207
Wait.

415
00:28:42,077 --> 00:28:44,713
I want you...

416
00:28:44,747 --> 00:28:46,615
...to be perfect.

417
00:28:52,853 --> 00:28:54,891
Hey, Joey, give me your phone.

418
00:28:55,857 --> 00:28:57,192
Okay.

419
00:28:59,428 --> 00:29:02,198
Now, uh, press play
when we get to the party.

420
00:29:03,231 --> 00:29:04,933
Trust us.

421
00:29:21,950 --> 00:29:25,754
I love this song.
Let's dance.

422
00:29:37,298 --> 00:29:39,401
Doesn't it seem
sort of wrong

423
00:29:39,434 --> 00:29:41,303
to be dancing
on someone's grave?

424
00:29:42,805 --> 00:29:45,673
I've got
a secret for you, kiddo:

425
00:29:45,708 --> 00:29:48,377
they're already dead,
they won't even know.

426
00:31:07,154 --> 00:31:09,624
The stars look amazing.

427
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:10,758
You look amazing.

428
00:31:10,792 --> 00:31:12,161
You are amazing.

429
00:31:14,662 --> 00:31:16,598
You need to reapply, poodle.

430
00:31:18,033 --> 00:31:21,003
Well, well,
if it isn't a Goth convention?

431
00:31:21,036 --> 00:31:22,837
Not again.

432
00:31:23,738 --> 00:31:26,408
Oh, hey, newbie!
Nice lipstick.

433
00:31:26,441 --> 00:31:28,809
Very fetching.

434
00:31:28,844 --> 00:31:31,080
Aww, don't you two make
a cute couple?

435
00:31:31,113 --> 00:31:32,847
Don't touch me, man!

436
00:31:32,881 --> 00:31:35,050
Victor, your girlfriend says
I stop touching her.

437
00:31:35,083 --> 00:31:36,352
I'm not his girlfriend.

438
00:31:37,452 --> 00:31:38,819
You hear that, Victor?

439
00:31:38,853 --> 00:31:39,921
She says she's not
your girlfriend.

440
00:31:39,955 --> 00:31:41,123
How does that make you feel?

441
00:31:42,324 --> 00:31:44,693
Oh, I was just
having a little fun.

442
00:31:44,727 --> 00:31:46,094
Am I making everyone
uncomfortable?

443
00:31:46,128 --> 00:31:47,129
Why don't you
just leave?

444
00:31:47,162 --> 00:31:48,863
You weren't even
going to be here.

445
00:31:50,132 --> 00:31:52,668
Hate the cemetery, nothing
but goths and dead people.

446
00:31:53,701 --> 00:31:55,103
Hey, you know
what would be really convenient?

447
00:32:02,077 --> 00:32:03,812
If I just killed all of you
and buried you here.

448
00:32:04,813 --> 00:32:06,248
Just get out of here.

449
00:32:07,848 --> 00:32:09,050
I mean...

450
00:32:11,786 --> 00:32:13,288
...you're a Goth now.

451
00:32:13,322 --> 00:32:14,689
You goths can't wait to die.

452
00:32:14,722 --> 00:32:16,224
Stop it,
you're hurting me.

453
00:32:16,257 --> 00:32:17,357
Who's gonna make me?

454
00:32:17,359 --> 00:32:19,128
Antonio, stop.

455
00:32:20,228 --> 00:32:21,764
Try me.

456
00:32:28,103 --> 00:32:30,305
Damned goths,
I should bury all of you.

457
00:32:30,338 --> 00:32:31,806
Punk bitch.

458
00:32:33,674 --> 00:32:35,076
Victor, just let him go.

459
00:32:36,344 --> 00:32:37,779
What did you just say to me?

460
00:32:45,220 --> 00:32:46,721
Antonio!

461
00:32:49,024 --> 00:32:50,293
Enough!

462
00:32:57,364 --> 00:32:58,968
Let's go!

463
00:32:59,867 --> 00:33:01,803
Why are punks
such animals?

464
00:33:03,071 --> 00:33:06,275
You okay?
That was such a buzzkill.

465
00:33:08,410 --> 00:33:11,680
Come on. I wanna show you
something.

466
00:33:37,439 --> 00:33:39,175
I like to think of this
as my summer home.

467
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,948
Let's stay here all night
and we can get up

468
00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:48,284
and watch the sunrise.

469
00:34:00,728 --> 00:34:02,396
Is everything okay?

470
00:34:02,430 --> 00:34:05,633
Um, I guess I'm just
still a little freaked

471
00:34:05,667 --> 00:34:08,103
with the whole scene
with Antonio maybe.

472
00:34:11,672 --> 00:34:13,174
You're a virgin,
aren't you?

473
00:34:13,207 --> 00:34:17,077
What?
Well, yeah, technically.

474
00:34:17,111 --> 00:34:19,748
Technically?,
yeah, you're a virgin.

475
00:34:20,915 --> 00:34:22,984
I guess I just need
to slow things down a little.

476
00:34:23,018 --> 00:34:24,853
Okay?

477
00:34:24,886 --> 00:34:26,921
Sure. I get it.

478
00:34:52,446 --> 00:34:53,815
Oh, my God, what time is it?

479
00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:57,386
My grandparents
are gonna kill me.

480
00:34:59,254 --> 00:35:02,323
- You coming?
- Curse the light.

481
00:35:08,196 --> 00:35:09,732
Are you just now getting in?

482
00:35:10,899 --> 00:35:14,069
Yeah, I was hanging out
at Victor's late last night

483
00:35:14,102 --> 00:35:16,004
and I guess we fell asleep.

484
00:35:16,038 --> 00:35:18,073
We were over there
until late last night

485
00:35:18,107 --> 00:35:21,143
and, uh,
we didn't see you there.

486
00:35:22,977 --> 00:35:25,113
Are you going
to tell us what really happened?

487
00:35:26,214 --> 00:35:27,650
Okay. Victor
and I went to a party

488
00:35:27,683 --> 00:35:29,184
at the old cemetery
and we kind of fell

489
00:35:29,218 --> 00:35:30,719
asleep together in a tomb.

490
00:35:30,752 --> 00:35:33,122
But it's cool, nothing happened,
it was totally PG.

491
00:35:34,323 --> 00:35:37,792
Was your phone
stolen while you were sleeping?

492
00:35:37,826 --> 00:35:39,227
Whatever, okay?

493
00:35:39,261 --> 00:35:42,031
I go to one lousy party
and I get interrogated.

494
00:35:42,964 --> 00:35:44,065
Ouch!

495
00:35:44,098 --> 00:35:45,167
What did you that for?

496
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,801
Because I can
legally beat the crap...

497
00:35:46,835 --> 00:35:48,938
beat any sense into you.

498
00:35:49,870 --> 00:35:51,973
Next time send a text,
young lady.

499
00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:54,142
You know how to text?

500
00:35:54,176 --> 00:35:55,244
Nah.

501
00:36:18,132 --> 00:36:20,102
Say something
and I will get back to you.

502
00:36:20,134 --> 00:36:21,837
Maybe.

503
00:36:35,082 --> 00:36:37,818
OMG!
What did you do to your hair?

504
00:36:37,852 --> 00:36:39,687
I met a boy.

505
00:36:39,721 --> 00:36:42,390
Okay, obviously,
I need the Lydia Deetz.

506
00:36:42,422 --> 00:36:43,825
What?

507
00:36:43,859 --> 00:36:45,826
Who is he? I mean he has
to be a good kisser

508
00:36:45,861 --> 00:36:47,661
to make your hair
change colour like that.

509
00:36:47,696 --> 00:36:50,199
You are really
out of control, you know that?

510
00:36:50,232 --> 00:36:51,300
I miss you.

511
00:36:51,332 --> 00:36:54,969
I'm only 45 minutes away,
I should just come over.

512
00:36:55,002 --> 00:36:58,105
I would love that,
you can meet Victor.

513
00:36:58,138 --> 00:37:00,276
Ooh!
He sounds like trouble.

514
00:37:00,308 --> 00:37:02,643
I think he might be.
We spent the night together

515
00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:05,714
- in a tomb.
- Okay, that is totally creepy,

516
00:37:05,747 --> 00:37:07,315
and I'm totally there.

517
00:37:07,348 --> 00:37:09,383
Okay, sweet.
See you soon.

518
00:37:09,417 --> 00:37:10,685
I'll check on my parentals

519
00:37:10,718 --> 00:37:12,286
and I'll get back to you.

520
00:37:12,321 --> 00:37:13,721
Later, Lydia.

521
00:37:26,335 --> 00:37:27,335
Hello there, YouTube.

522
00:37:27,368 --> 00:37:29,036
So today, I'm going
to be doing

523
00:37:29,069 --> 00:37:30,671
my everyday makeup routine.

524
00:37:30,705 --> 00:37:32,107
And I'm going
to be showing you how...

525
00:37:48,122 --> 00:37:49,156
So you can take it up

526
00:37:49,189 --> 00:37:52,760
as high as you want depending
on the kind of...

527
00:37:53,728 --> 00:37:54,562
Whenever you tease your hair,

528
00:37:54,596 --> 00:37:56,364
you're gonna take
a brush like this.

529
00:38:00,268 --> 00:38:02,870
It's time to hairspray,
the ever-living shit

530
00:38:02,904 --> 00:38:04,372
out of his hair.

531
00:38:10,946 --> 00:38:13,281
Hi, guys,
what are you doing?

532
00:38:13,314 --> 00:38:15,716
Well, the
picnic, duh.

533
00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:17,252
And your little boyfriend's
grandparents

534
00:38:17,285 --> 00:38:18,754
are itching to get going.

535
00:38:18,786 --> 00:38:20,221
He's not my boyfriend.

536
00:38:20,254 --> 00:38:22,056
Let's get to move on, people.

537
00:38:33,734 --> 00:38:36,136
Well, if it isn't
the belle of the ball...

538
00:38:36,171 --> 00:38:38,172
I didn't have my team
to put me together this morning.

539
00:38:38,205 --> 00:38:39,774
What do you think?

540
00:38:41,042 --> 00:38:45,747
It's close, but not quite.

541
00:38:45,779 --> 00:38:47,248
It's like you're holding
back or something.

542
00:38:48,450 --> 00:38:51,886
I guess I'm just new
to this whole goth thing.

543
00:38:51,919 --> 00:38:54,388
I think you're just
scared of what people

544
00:38:54,422 --> 00:38:56,959
would think if you really
went for it.

545
00:38:58,026 --> 00:38:59,627
I don't care
what people think.

546
00:38:59,660 --> 00:39:02,129
No?

547
00:39:02,163 --> 00:39:04,932
Well, if you don't care
what people think...

548
00:39:07,002 --> 00:39:08,704
why did you just ask me
what I thought?

549
00:39:33,661 --> 00:39:35,330
Huh. It's a little
early for Halloween,

550
00:39:35,364 --> 00:39:36,932
don't you think?

551
00:39:40,067 --> 00:39:42,870
Hey, Victor, try not to get
your ass kicked today, would ya?

552
00:39:42,904 --> 00:39:45,007
Would you look
at that!

553
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,642
A hot dog wrapped in bacon?

554
00:39:47,676 --> 00:39:49,210
God bless America.

555
00:39:51,044 --> 00:39:52,780
You want to get out of here?

556
00:41:52,466 --> 00:41:54,169
Happy 4th of July,
Joey.

557
00:42:22,029 --> 00:42:23,698
You want to go
to our summer place?

558
00:42:31,004 --> 00:42:33,273
Happy birthday,
America.

559
00:42:33,308 --> 00:42:34,976
I don't ever wanna
go back,

560
00:42:35,009 --> 00:42:37,279
can't we just stay
in the cemetery forever?

561
00:42:38,712 --> 00:42:40,348
Wow,

562
00:42:40,381 --> 00:42:43,317
maybe you are real goth.

563
00:43:21,022 --> 00:43:22,623
See you later?

564
00:43:22,656 --> 00:43:24,225
You know where to find me.

565
00:43:44,346 --> 00:43:46,848
Have a nice evening, Joey?

566
00:43:46,881 --> 00:43:48,649
Yeah, Thanks, Mimi.

567
00:43:48,683 --> 00:43:49,851
Want paincakes?

568
00:43:49,884 --> 00:43:51,953
No, I'm just going
to sleep for a while.

569
00:43:51,986 --> 00:43:53,854
Victor and I are gonna
hang out later.

570
00:43:54,888 --> 00:43:56,390
Didn't we agree
you would text

571
00:43:56,424 --> 00:43:58,794
the next time you were going
to stay out late?

572
00:43:58,826 --> 00:44:01,428
Yeah, I lost my phone,
but no worries, I found it.

573
00:44:01,462 --> 00:44:02,997
You're spending
an awful lot of time

574
00:44:03,031 --> 00:44:04,733
with that boy.

575
00:44:06,067 --> 00:44:09,204
Yeah, well,
I really like him, I guess.

576
00:44:09,236 --> 00:44:11,338
We don't like it
that you're staying out

577
00:44:11,372 --> 00:44:14,808
all night.
Are you being... safe?

578
00:44:14,843 --> 00:44:16,176
Okay, It's fine.
Nothing's happened.

579
00:44:16,210 --> 00:44:18,914
Your mother
called worried to death.

580
00:44:20,015 --> 00:44:21,049
If my mother
is so worried

581
00:44:21,082 --> 00:44:22,984
about my whereabouts,
so why she dumped me here

582
00:44:23,017 --> 00:44:24,152
all summer?

583
00:44:24,185 --> 00:44:25,420
Why don't you spend
some time

584
00:44:25,453 --> 00:44:26,954
with your grandparents
this summer?

585
00:44:26,988 --> 00:44:28,922
Okay. You guys, listen,
I'm sorry

586
00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:31,025
that I didn't send a text,
but I figured you guys knew

587
00:44:31,058 --> 00:44:32,127
I was with Victor.

588
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:33,627
That doesn't
make us feel any better.

589
00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:37,263
We're asking you not see Victor
for two weeks.

590
00:44:37,297 --> 00:44:38,966
Are you, like,
grounding me?

591
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,135
We're not grounding you.

592
00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:44,205
We're just limiting
your bad choices.

593
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,041
And what does
that mean exactly?

594
00:44:46,073 --> 00:44:47,308
We're grounding you.

595
00:46:04,152 --> 00:46:05,353
Hi, it's Mom.

596
00:46:07,989 --> 00:46:09,624
Hello, it's your mom.

597
00:46:12,093 --> 00:46:14,094
It's Carissa calling.

598
00:46:31,712 --> 00:46:32,814
Joey, dear.

599
00:46:32,846 --> 00:46:34,783
Yes, grandfather, dear.

600
00:46:34,815 --> 00:46:36,384
We thought it might be
a good idea

601
00:46:36,417 --> 00:46:40,087
if you joined us.
We have big plans.

602
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:41,989
Oh, big plans huh?

603
00:46:42,022 --> 00:46:44,858
I'm not sure I can resist
the sound of that, Papa.

604
00:46:44,892 --> 00:46:46,794
And I'm not sure
I would have taken no

605
00:46:46,828 --> 00:46:48,129
for an answer.

606
00:46:48,161 --> 00:46:51,632
Now throw on something black
and meet us downstairs.

607
00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,002
Yes!

608
00:46:58,471 --> 00:47:00,841
People actually
play bingo?

609
00:47:00,875 --> 00:47:03,210
This ain't your
grandma's bingo.

610
00:47:03,243 --> 00:47:05,912
This is like acid trip bingo.

611
00:47:05,946 --> 00:47:07,113
Now, I'm curious.

612
00:47:07,147 --> 00:47:08,248
Yeah. Come on.

613
00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:10,384
O row, 69.

614
00:47:10,417 --> 00:47:14,788
And our next number
is in the B row, B-11.

615
00:47:14,823 --> 00:47:17,391
Up next, we have...

616
00:47:17,424 --> 00:47:19,693
Oh, bingo?

617
00:47:19,727 --> 00:47:20,795
Helga!

618
00:47:20,828 --> 00:47:22,329
My goodness, you won again.

619
00:47:22,363 --> 00:47:24,065
Come on up!
Let's see,

620
00:47:24,098 --> 00:47:26,368
I have to confirm that,
'cause you win an awful lot.

621
00:47:26,401 --> 00:47:27,567
I'm suspicious.

622
00:47:27,602 --> 00:47:29,703
And everybody's so quiet,
they're not very happy for you.

623
00:47:29,738 --> 00:47:31,339
Can we get
a nice bunch of applause

624
00:47:31,372 --> 00:47:33,241
We had to be supportive
of one another.

625
00:47:33,274 --> 00:47:35,609
B-3, yes.

626
00:47:35,643 --> 00:47:37,378
B-11, yes.

627
00:47:37,410 --> 00:47:40,146
O-69, my favorite number.

628
00:47:40,181 --> 00:47:41,249
Congratulations.

629
00:47:41,281 --> 00:47:42,616
How do you always win so much?

630
00:47:42,649 --> 00:47:44,251
I'm an expert at bingo.

631
00:47:44,285 --> 00:47:45,719
You're a very expert bingo.

632
00:47:45,752 --> 00:47:46,653
Thank you so much.

633
00:47:46,687 --> 00:47:48,055
Your prize is...
Are you ready for this?

634
00:47:48,089 --> 00:47:50,024
A year's supply of soft cheese.

635
00:47:50,056 --> 00:47:52,160
Oh? I like it.

636
00:47:52,192 --> 00:47:54,194
I knew you would.
You're welcome. Congratulations.

637
00:47:54,228 --> 00:47:55,696
Very nice, supportive of Helga.

638
00:47:56,797 --> 00:47:58,299
Okay, everybody,
welcome to our newcomers

639
00:47:58,332 --> 00:47:59,732
who have just arrived
a little bit late.

640
00:47:59,767 --> 00:48:02,370
Nice to see you,
little unhappy girl, welcome.

641
00:48:02,402 --> 00:48:04,772
Okay, ready? The game you're
going through right now

642
00:48:04,806 --> 00:48:07,275
is just plain old regular
straight bingo.

643
00:48:07,308 --> 00:48:09,744
Just like me, plain, old,
regular and straight.

644
00:48:09,777 --> 00:48:12,646
You can go up and down, side
to side or diagonal, got it?

645
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,248
You only need five to win.

646
00:48:14,281 --> 00:48:17,151
How about B-4?

647
00:48:17,183 --> 00:48:20,087
Not after but B-4.

648
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,657
- I have that one.
- Oh, good.

649
00:48:23,690 --> 00:48:27,895
And our next member
is G-55.

650
00:48:27,928 --> 00:48:29,631
I can't drive 55.

651
00:48:29,663 --> 00:48:30,832
I got that one too.

652
00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:32,067
That's great!

653
00:48:34,868 --> 00:48:37,872
The last number
in the bingo board is O-75.

654
00:48:37,906 --> 00:48:39,940
How about O-7-5?

655
00:48:39,973 --> 00:48:41,109
I got it.

656
00:48:41,142 --> 00:48:42,243
And ladies
and gentlemen

657
00:48:42,276 --> 00:48:46,980
and those in between, for you,
our next number is I-27.

658
00:48:47,015 --> 00:48:48,950
My age I-2-7.

659
00:48:48,982 --> 00:48:50,218
Don't snicker over there.

660
00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:52,085
Oh, my gosh, wait,
with the free space,

661
00:48:52,118 --> 00:48:53,353
I think that I might have...

662
00:48:53,386 --> 00:48:57,892
- Shout it out! Shout!
- Bingo!

663
00:48:57,926 --> 00:48:59,360
Another winner in the family!

664
00:48:59,393 --> 00:49:01,228
Oh, wait a minute,
did you say bingo?

665
00:49:01,261 --> 00:49:02,363
Yeah!

666
00:49:02,395 --> 00:49:04,031
Oh, I couldn't hear
with all this popcorn machine.

667
00:49:04,064 --> 00:49:06,166
So, okay, zombie girl.
Come on, let's see what you got.

668
00:49:08,069 --> 00:49:09,671
The game was rigged.

669
00:49:09,703 --> 00:49:10,805
You're the new one, right?

670
00:49:10,839 --> 00:49:11,806
I haven't seen you
around here before.

671
00:49:11,839 --> 00:49:12,707
Yeah, it's my first time.

672
00:49:12,739 --> 00:49:13,975
Oh my! You haven't
played Bingo ever?

673
00:49:14,007 --> 00:49:15,176
- Hum, hum.
- Oh, my gosh.

674
00:49:15,209 --> 00:49:17,011
You've ever been this close
to a man in a dress before?

675
00:49:17,044 --> 00:49:18,011
Oh, I don't think so.

676
00:49:18,046 --> 00:49:19,212
It's the day
of firsts for you.

677
00:49:19,245 --> 00:49:20,080
- What is your name?
- Joey.

678
00:49:20,114 --> 00:49:21,816
Joey, nice to meet you.
I'm Ralph.

679
00:49:21,848 --> 00:49:24,852
Okay, so we have B-4.

680
00:49:24,886 --> 00:49:27,721
We have I-27. Okay.

681
00:49:27,754 --> 00:49:29,390
You use your free spot,
very clever.

682
00:49:29,422 --> 00:49:30,991
Sometimes cheating,
but not in this case.

683
00:49:31,024 --> 00:49:33,626
How about G-55? Yes.

684
00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:36,129
And O-75?
That's a good bingo.

685
00:49:36,163 --> 00:49:37,832
Let's get a nice round
of applause for Joey.

686
00:49:37,864 --> 00:49:39,667
Congratulations! Okay, Joey.

687
00:49:39,700 --> 00:49:40,868
So, there's no more
soft cheeses.

688
00:49:40,902 --> 00:49:43,371
But I have for you
a two-month pass

689
00:49:43,404 --> 00:49:47,175
to underwater aerobics
at the SINU center.

690
00:49:47,207 --> 00:49:49,075
Oh, we can go together!

691
00:49:49,109 --> 00:49:52,078
I know, they usually
like that kind of prize.

692
00:49:52,113 --> 00:49:53,381
Congratulations.

693
00:49:53,415 --> 00:49:55,884
Applause for Joey one more time.
Thank you so much.

694
00:49:55,917 --> 00:49:57,250
And now we're going
to clear the board.

695
00:49:57,283 --> 00:49:58,718
We're going to play again;
you guys ready?

696
00:49:58,752 --> 00:49:59,953
Let's play again!

697
00:50:01,689 --> 00:50:03,892
How's your licorice,
bingo queen?

698
00:50:05,792 --> 00:50:07,727
Even her tongue
wears black.

699
00:50:07,761 --> 00:50:11,097
You see, it's not
so bad hanging here with us?

700
00:50:11,131 --> 00:50:13,834
Yeah, you guys
are all right, I guess.

701
00:50:13,868 --> 00:50:15,804
I wonder
how your mom is doing.

702
00:50:18,372 --> 00:50:20,173
I don't.

703
00:50:20,207 --> 00:50:21,643
Whoops!

704
00:50:22,676 --> 00:50:26,213
Listen,
you can always talk to us.

705
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:28,181
Okay.

706
00:50:28,214 --> 00:50:31,051
How about we just keep not
talking about her or him?

707
00:50:31,085 --> 00:50:34,322
- Okay?
- You know what?

708
00:50:34,355 --> 00:50:36,757
I think today is the last day

709
00:50:36,790 --> 00:50:39,126
of your grounding,
zombie girl.

710
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:40,228
What do you think, mimi?

711
00:50:40,261 --> 00:50:43,397
Yeah, she satisfied
the terms of her sentencing.

712
00:50:43,430 --> 00:50:45,332
Really?
Like, you mean it?

713
00:50:45,366 --> 00:50:46,934
Mm-hmm.

714
00:50:46,966 --> 00:50:49,203
You're all cleared
for takeoff, little bird.

715
00:51:05,152 --> 00:51:06,854
Aren't you gonna
say, "Trick or treat"?

716
00:51:06,886 --> 00:51:08,256
Bye, guys, yes, I promise

717
00:51:08,288 --> 00:51:09,890
I'll text
if we're gonna be out late.

718
00:51:16,364 --> 00:51:18,833
You're sure you want
to take them camping?

719
00:51:20,368 --> 00:51:22,703
At least I know
they'll love your ghost stories.

720
00:51:25,372 --> 00:51:26,974
Thank god.

721
00:51:33,714 --> 00:51:35,181
I'm beginning to tan!

722
00:51:35,216 --> 00:51:37,886
Well, that's a cream was
with positively blood-curdling.

723
00:51:37,919 --> 00:51:39,252
That's such a turn-on.

724
00:51:39,286 --> 00:51:41,288
Let's get out of here,
I'm starting to melt.

725
00:51:41,321 --> 00:51:42,957
Wait, one last shot,
okay, guys?

726
00:51:45,692 --> 00:51:46,995
I win!

727
00:51:55,435 --> 00:51:57,171
Gonna have to use
a ton of powder tonight.

728
00:51:57,203 --> 00:51:59,906
Or we wanna like
extra dud for the party.

729
00:51:59,940 --> 00:52:01,308
What party?

730
00:52:01,341 --> 00:52:03,243
Victor didn't tell you
about the party?

731
00:52:03,277 --> 00:52:05,113
No, he didn't mention it.

732
00:52:06,647 --> 00:52:08,583
I got to take it,
I'll be right back.

733
00:52:09,450 --> 00:52:12,152
Joey. Lipstick.

734
00:52:21,661 --> 00:52:24,899
So, you guys gonna tell
me about this party or what?

735
00:52:25,866 --> 00:52:28,002
Okay, get over it.

736
00:52:29,870 --> 00:52:31,939
I think I know
what you're gonna say,

737
00:52:31,973 --> 00:52:35,176
but we kind of work together,
don't we?

738
00:52:35,209 --> 00:52:37,212
We just don't want you
to feel unwelcome, that's all.

739
00:52:38,245 --> 00:52:40,147
And why would Joey
feel unwelcome?

740
00:52:41,948 --> 00:52:43,816
- Oh, right, the party.
- What?

741
00:52:43,850 --> 00:52:46,786
Am I, like, not invited
or something?

742
00:52:46,819 --> 00:52:48,055
Well, at first,
I didn't invite you

743
00:52:48,089 --> 00:52:49,824
because you were grounded.

744
00:52:49,857 --> 00:52:52,726
But I have to admit
I am a little nervous

745
00:52:52,759 --> 00:52:54,094
you might feel uncomfortable.

746
00:52:55,696 --> 00:52:57,131
Why would I be uncomfortable?

747
00:52:58,399 --> 00:53:01,067
Because these are
real goths.

748
00:53:01,100 --> 00:53:03,036
You may feel like
kind of a poser.

749
00:53:04,172 --> 00:53:07,608
I never thought
of myself as a poser.

750
00:53:07,642 --> 00:53:08,875
You can't just
dye your hair

751
00:53:08,910 --> 00:53:10,245
and change your clothes
for the summer

752
00:53:10,277 --> 00:53:13,247
and expect everyone
to accept you as one of our own.

753
00:53:13,279 --> 00:53:15,582
It's not just a scene,
it's a way of life.

754
00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:20,955
Hey, hey, don't pout,
pretty lady.

755
00:53:22,290 --> 00:53:23,858
It'll be fun.

756
00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:27,661
I promise.

757
00:53:35,370 --> 00:53:37,004
Are you sure I'm dressed up
enough?

758
00:53:37,036 --> 00:53:40,707
Yes. You look fine, please.

759
00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:52,152
Relax,
they can smell your fear.

760
00:53:52,185 --> 00:53:53,687
I can't help it.

761
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:55,122
I don't want them thinking
that I'm a poser.

762
00:53:55,156 --> 00:53:58,058
Please,
you're with me,

763
00:53:58,091 --> 00:53:59,993
and practically goth royalty.

764
00:54:05,064 --> 00:54:06,733
Victor.

765
00:54:11,839 --> 00:54:13,975
You didn't tell me you
would be bringing company.

766
00:54:15,109 --> 00:54:19,013
Yes, Pandora,
this is Josephine,

767
00:54:19,046 --> 00:54:21,381
the newest addition
to our little coven.

768
00:54:21,415 --> 00:54:23,117
You can call me Joey.

769
00:54:24,417 --> 00:54:27,754
Joey, this is Pandora.
She's our host,

770
00:54:27,788 --> 00:54:31,059
and her family owns the biggest
mortuary in town.

771
00:54:31,091 --> 00:54:32,426
- Oh.
- Yes.

772
00:54:32,460 --> 00:54:34,695
Business has been
especially good lately.

773
00:54:34,727 --> 00:54:36,763
Why?
You've been killing them?

774
00:54:39,433 --> 00:54:40,901
No, I just mean that you...

775
00:54:40,935 --> 00:54:42,069
it must be really convenient,
you know,

776
00:54:42,102 --> 00:54:43,704
having your family
on the mortuary,

777
00:54:43,738 --> 00:54:46,272
you know, being like
a goth and...

778
00:54:46,306 --> 00:54:48,308
Oh, poo!

779
00:54:48,341 --> 00:54:50,910
Sad thing, empty chalices.

780
00:54:50,944 --> 00:54:52,413
Victor, do you fancy
accompanying me

781
00:54:52,446 --> 00:54:54,815
to get some punch?

782
00:54:54,848 --> 00:54:56,650
Sure!

783
00:54:56,683 --> 00:54:58,618
Come, Josephine.

784
00:54:58,652 --> 00:55:00,788
Let's all go get some punch!

785
00:55:10,464 --> 00:55:12,900
Vampires' blood, spooky.

786
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:24,277
Well,
your little friend is charming.

787
00:55:24,310 --> 00:55:26,814
Where did you find her?

788
00:55:26,846 --> 00:55:29,750
It's the neighbor girl.
But a doll, isn't she?

789
00:55:32,352 --> 00:55:33,386
I stopped playing

790
00:55:33,419 --> 00:55:35,288
with dolls a long time ago,
Victor.

791
00:55:36,455 --> 00:55:39,227
So, how about that
Marilyn Manson, right?

792
00:55:45,765 --> 00:55:47,968
Excuse me
for a moment, would you?

793
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,971
It looks as though someone's
in desperate need of rescuing.

794
00:55:53,674 --> 00:55:55,243
Come, my pet!

795
00:55:57,410 --> 00:55:58,945
New project.

796
00:56:08,189 --> 00:56:09,790
I'm gonna get a drink.

797
00:56:09,823 --> 00:56:11,190
What's that?

798
00:56:11,223 --> 00:56:13,126
Said I'm gonna kill myself.

799
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,296
I can't hear you.

800
00:56:15,328 --> 00:56:16,830
This should do.

801
00:56:20,134 --> 00:56:22,737
Ouch, peachy!

802
00:56:24,971 --> 00:56:26,239
Hey Victor, you should try...

803
00:56:28,709 --> 00:56:29,977
Sorry.

804
00:56:31,879 --> 00:56:34,647
Hey, guys!
What are you doing?

805
00:56:34,681 --> 00:56:37,418
Summoning the spirits.
How about yourself?

806
00:56:37,451 --> 00:56:39,652
I lost Victor.

807
00:56:39,687 --> 00:56:41,054
You smell pretty
fruity there.

808
00:56:41,087 --> 00:56:42,154
What's in your cup?

809
00:56:42,189 --> 00:56:43,825
It's peachy!
You wanna try?

810
00:56:45,725 --> 00:56:46,993
Well, well, well.

811
00:56:47,027 --> 00:56:49,763
If it isn't America's
next top Goth.

812
00:56:49,797 --> 00:56:51,799
What are you doing here?

813
00:56:51,832 --> 00:56:54,067
Slumming! Need a drink?

814
00:56:54,100 --> 00:56:56,169
I am all set. Thanks.

815
00:56:56,203 --> 00:56:58,706
What are you doing here?

816
00:56:58,739 --> 00:57:00,975
Well, if you really
must know, I came with Victor.

817
00:57:02,743 --> 00:57:04,645
Have you seen him, by chance?

818
00:57:04,678 --> 00:57:07,714
You know, I'm really
not that bad of a guy.

819
00:57:07,747 --> 00:57:09,349
I don't know what happened
the other night.

820
00:57:09,382 --> 00:57:11,151
You guys! I don't
mean to be rude,

821
00:57:11,185 --> 00:57:13,887
but we're trying to communicate
with the other side here.

822
00:57:13,921 --> 00:57:16,089
Yeah. Why don't you
and the Jolly Rancher

823
00:57:16,122 --> 00:57:18,058
take your conversation
over there?

824
00:57:20,294 --> 00:57:21,763
Okay.

825
00:57:38,978 --> 00:57:42,181
What should I play?
"Bela Lugosi's Dead"?

826
00:57:42,216 --> 00:57:43,683
Never heard of it.

827
00:57:45,451 --> 00:57:47,587
You're new to this whole Goth
thing, aren't you?

828
00:57:51,123 --> 00:57:52,426
Hello, new girl.

829
00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:55,763
Oh, hey, Pandora.
This is my friend, Antonio.

830
00:57:56,730 --> 00:57:58,799
Who cares?
Where's Victor?

831
00:57:58,832 --> 00:58:01,669
I am looking
for him too, actually.

832
00:58:02,868 --> 00:58:05,272
You know,
you two are so cute together.

833
00:58:06,205 --> 00:58:08,142
Me and Victor?
Thank you, Pandora.

834
00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:09,609
No, you and him.

835
00:58:12,946 --> 00:58:14,748
You wanna do shots?

836
00:58:14,781 --> 00:58:16,750
Why are you being
so nice to me?

837
00:58:22,223 --> 00:58:23,224
Where is the drink?

838
00:58:23,256 --> 00:58:24,757
What are you doing
with my cup?

839
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:28,728
Okay.

840
00:58:28,761 --> 00:58:30,964
I need a cane. Don't. Stop it!

841
00:58:30,997 --> 00:58:32,165
I wanna sing. Okay.

842
00:58:32,198 --> 00:58:33,967
From the top of the strings...

843
00:58:36,035 --> 00:58:37,137
Joey!

844
00:58:37,171 --> 00:58:38,872
Joey! Joey! Joey!

845
00:58:38,904 --> 00:58:40,975
Victor,
this is my friend, Antonio.

846
00:58:41,007 --> 00:58:42,877
Nice to meet... Oh, no.
What I'm I talking about?

847
00:58:42,910 --> 00:58:45,413
You guys have already met,
remember the graveyard?

848
00:58:45,446 --> 00:58:48,181
Yes.
Good to see you again, Antonio.

849
00:58:48,214 --> 00:58:49,415
Yeah.

850
00:58:49,448 --> 00:58:50,916
It's time to go.

851
00:58:50,951 --> 00:58:53,286
What?
I'm just starting to have fun.

852
00:58:53,321 --> 00:58:54,855
No, I am not going.

853
00:58:57,924 --> 00:58:59,326
I think I'm gonna retch...

854
00:59:00,426 --> 00:59:02,328
Okay. The fun is over.

855
00:59:02,361 --> 00:59:04,263
But wait.
No, I don't want to go.

856
00:59:04,297 --> 00:59:05,332
No, no, no, no, no.

857
00:59:05,364 --> 00:59:08,133
See, I wanna sing
with my friends and I wanna...

858
00:59:08,167 --> 00:59:10,203
Wait, where is everybody going?

859
00:59:10,236 --> 00:59:12,272
Wait!

860
00:59:12,306 --> 00:59:14,208
Okay.

861
00:59:14,241 --> 00:59:16,643
- Hey, Victor?
- Yes?

862
00:59:16,676 --> 00:59:19,579
Do you think I'm a real goth?

863
00:59:20,781 --> 00:59:23,985
No, I think
that you're real mess.

864
00:59:26,018 --> 00:59:27,254
Oh, sorry!

865
00:59:28,721 --> 00:59:29,957
Okay.

866
00:59:37,997 --> 00:59:40,100
Baby bats just can't hold
their liquor.

867
00:59:42,301 --> 00:59:43,970
What's going on?

868
00:59:51,944 --> 00:59:52,979
Hey!

869
00:59:54,314 --> 00:59:56,382
Yeah, me too.

870
00:59:56,417 --> 00:59:58,185
Listen, I can't talk right now.

871
00:59:59,986 --> 01:00:03,056
Okay, good night, beautiful.

872
01:00:11,899 --> 01:00:13,401
Antonio,
it's never gonna happen.

873
01:00:42,629 --> 01:00:44,899
Say something and I
will get back to you. Maybe.

874
01:00:45,866 --> 01:00:46,934
Hey, Victor.

875
01:00:48,368 --> 01:00:51,972
I think I might owe you
an apology or something.

876
01:00:52,973 --> 01:00:54,275
Call me, okay?

877
01:01:03,451 --> 01:01:05,986
Thought you might need a
strong cup of Joe this morning.

878
01:01:06,018 --> 01:01:08,022
Thank you, yeah.

879
01:01:18,131 --> 01:01:21,868
Oh. Oh, God, curse the light.
No, no.

880
01:01:23,036 --> 01:01:26,073
How about joining me
for a dance class later, huh?

881
01:01:26,105 --> 01:01:27,741
Might be good to sweat it out.

882
01:01:27,774 --> 01:01:31,144
Yeah, and it also might
be good to stay in bed all day.

883
01:01:32,312 --> 01:01:34,413
Maybe it's not
exercise you need,

884
01:01:34,446 --> 01:01:37,017
maybe it's an exorcism.

885
01:01:37,051 --> 01:01:40,621
- What?
- We've tried everything else.

886
01:01:41,721 --> 01:01:44,123
Maybe it is time
to call in a priest.

887
01:01:44,158 --> 01:01:45,226
Okay, very funny.

888
01:01:45,259 --> 01:01:46,961
No, I'm not joking.

889
01:01:48,828 --> 01:01:50,096
I'm pretty sure

890
01:01:50,129 --> 01:01:53,800
you're possessed
by a soul-devouring demon.

891
01:01:53,834 --> 01:01:55,167
What else would make you
stay out all night

892
01:01:55,201 --> 01:01:56,770
keeping us up with worry?

893
01:01:56,803 --> 01:01:58,771
What else would make you
get drunk?

894
01:01:58,805 --> 01:02:01,075
And do drugs in our home?

895
01:02:02,109 --> 01:02:03,109
Why?

896
01:02:03,143 --> 01:02:06,179
Oh, why are you still
chasing after that boy?

897
01:02:06,212 --> 01:02:09,114
Victor doesn't care
a flying flip about you.

898
01:02:09,149 --> 01:02:11,719
Okay,
how I feel shittier.

899
01:02:12,819 --> 01:02:14,587
That's the demon.

900
01:02:15,689 --> 01:02:17,658
You might wanna
to look into that.

901
01:03:09,743 --> 01:03:10,844
Hello, Victor?

902
01:03:10,877 --> 01:03:13,312
Oh, hey!
Finally, she answers.

903
01:03:13,346 --> 01:03:14,346
Are you alive?

904
01:03:14,381 --> 01:03:17,750
Are your grandparents
taking for care of you?

905
01:03:17,783 --> 01:03:19,385
What is it I hear about a boy?

906
01:03:19,419 --> 01:03:20,819
Are you using protection?

907
01:03:20,853 --> 01:03:22,388
- Jesus, Mom.
- What?

908
01:03:22,422 --> 01:03:24,958
I know what a summer
fling is like.

909
01:03:24,991 --> 01:03:26,360
It's not a fling. Okay?

910
01:03:27,995 --> 01:03:30,263
Oh, it's not a fling.
So, it's serious.

911
01:03:30,297 --> 01:03:31,865
What, after a month and a half?

912
01:03:31,899 --> 01:03:34,267
Was there a point
to this phone call, Mother?

913
01:03:34,301 --> 01:03:36,837
I'm just calling to tell
my daughter that I love her.

914
01:03:37,870 --> 01:03:40,373
Is that for me or for the
fans? Later, Mom.

915
01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:46,247
Ah, that is such
a nice thing to say, honey.

916
01:03:47,281 --> 01:03:48,782
Okay, well, talk
to you tomorrow.

917
01:03:50,450 --> 01:03:52,152
And who should
I make this out to?

918
01:03:56,290 --> 01:03:57,558
What is he doing?

919
01:03:58,725 --> 01:04:00,227
OMG, it totally feels like we're
detectives right now.

920
01:04:00,259 --> 01:04:01,895
Focus!

921
01:04:03,997 --> 01:04:06,132
He's smoking.

922
01:04:06,165 --> 01:04:07,767
Ew.

923
01:04:07,801 --> 01:04:09,902
You fell for a smoker,
that doesn't seem like you.

924
01:04:09,937 --> 01:04:12,238
I wouldn't say that I'd
fallen for him exactly.

925
01:04:12,272 --> 01:04:14,408
You're stalking him
with your best friend,

926
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:16,276
you're so totally.

927
01:04:17,810 --> 01:04:20,314
Here. Let me look at him.

928
01:04:25,018 --> 01:04:27,187
He's so goth.

929
01:04:31,890 --> 01:04:33,193
I don't trust the look of him,
Joey.

930
01:04:34,426 --> 01:04:37,363
Yeah, I know what you mean.

931
01:04:37,397 --> 01:04:39,966
Who's ready
for a little fun in the forest?

932
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,735
How are the good
horror films start.

933
01:04:42,768 --> 01:04:44,671
It's him!

934
01:04:47,073 --> 01:04:48,642
He knows we're watching him.

935
01:04:49,776 --> 01:04:52,346
Girls,
we're loading the car.

936
01:04:52,379 --> 01:04:55,082
"Have you ever
done it in the woods?"

937
01:04:56,382 --> 01:04:59,118
Girls, I can hear
everything you're saying.

938
01:05:03,689 --> 01:05:04,991
- Okay.
- Okay.

939
01:05:10,230 --> 01:05:11,665
What about Victor?

940
01:05:15,301 --> 01:05:16,401
Hey there!

941
01:05:16,435 --> 01:05:18,337
I wanted you two
to finally meet.

942
01:05:18,372 --> 01:05:20,040
I'm the BFF.

943
01:05:21,709 --> 01:05:25,044
You were pretty trashed the
other night, weren't you?

944
01:05:25,078 --> 01:05:27,080
I tried calling you.

945
01:05:27,113 --> 01:05:28,881
I left my phone
at Pandora's.

946
01:05:30,450 --> 01:05:31,350
I was worried

947
01:05:31,384 --> 01:05:33,252
that I might have done
permanent damage.

948
01:05:33,286 --> 01:05:34,821
I mean, when I woke up
the next morning,

949
01:05:34,855 --> 01:05:37,123
I wasn't even sure
how I got home.

950
01:05:37,156 --> 01:05:39,292
Well, that sounds
like quite a night.

951
01:05:39,326 --> 01:05:40,761
It wasn't.

952
01:05:44,163 --> 01:05:46,932
You look like
a couple of dead honeymooners

953
01:05:46,966 --> 01:05:48,701
from one of Margaret's
ghost stories.

954
01:05:48,734 --> 01:05:50,402
Thank you.

955
01:05:50,437 --> 01:05:53,841
Joey, get your little
friends stop scaring

956
01:05:53,873 --> 01:05:56,676
the other campers
and help us set up. Okay?

957
01:05:58,178 --> 01:05:59,779
Hi, I'm Molly.

958
01:05:59,812 --> 01:06:01,281
Enchantée!

959
01:06:04,017 --> 01:06:06,654
You've got to be
kidding me, right?

960
01:06:11,189 --> 01:06:12,759
- Ready, Margaret?
- Yeah.

961
01:06:12,792 --> 01:06:15,294
Oh, we're so terrible!

962
01:06:44,757 --> 01:06:46,225
That was unexpected.

963
01:06:46,259 --> 01:06:48,261
I know, but kind of fun,
right?

964
01:06:48,294 --> 01:06:50,631
Well, he doesn't
seem to think so.

965
01:07:02,042 --> 01:07:06,379
And the beast
had recently acquired a mate.

966
01:07:06,411 --> 01:07:08,681
And she gave birth

967
01:07:08,714 --> 01:07:11,984
to a brood of little
beautiful beasties.

968
01:07:13,285 --> 01:07:16,322
And they were ravenous.

969
01:07:16,355 --> 01:07:17,390
And the beast knew

970
01:07:17,424 --> 01:07:20,794
he had to find fresh blood,

971
01:07:20,826 --> 01:07:25,866
guts and gore to feed
his little family.

972
01:07:26,866 --> 01:07:28,368
So, he put his nose
to the air...

973
01:07:29,870 --> 01:07:31,404
...and sniffed.

974
01:07:32,739 --> 01:07:34,875
and ferreted out

975
01:07:34,908 --> 01:07:38,145
a bitter venom.

976
01:07:38,178 --> 01:07:42,049
It was a mile away,
but the beast could smell him.

977
01:07:42,082 --> 01:07:44,417
So, he tracked him down,

978
01:07:44,451 --> 01:07:46,286
and charged,

979
01:07:46,319 --> 01:07:49,789
and gouged out an eyeball,
and he wanted to devour it.

980
01:07:51,757 --> 01:07:53,794
- Woo!
- Jesus, Joey!

981
01:07:55,094 --> 01:07:56,062
You scared me.

982
01:07:56,096 --> 01:07:57,096
You think that was scary?

983
01:07:57,129 --> 01:07:59,398
You should hear
one of Margaret's ghost stories.

984
01:07:59,431 --> 01:08:01,768
I think Pen's half a shade
whiter.

985
01:08:03,268 --> 01:08:05,671
You want to get out of here?

986
01:08:06,906 --> 01:08:08,408
What do you mean?

987
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:10,710
There's this club
thing happening tonight.

988
01:08:10,743 --> 01:08:12,044
I think it might be fun.

989
01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:16,016
Oh, I don't know.

990
01:08:16,049 --> 01:08:18,719
It doesn't seem right somehow.

991
01:08:19,986 --> 01:08:23,223
Does it seem... wrong?

992
01:08:24,290 --> 01:08:28,394
And then
the beast disemboweled her

993
01:08:28,428 --> 01:08:30,263
and strung up

994
01:08:30,295 --> 01:08:32,264
her freshly murdered cadaver

995
01:08:32,299 --> 01:08:35,368
with her own hands.

996
01:08:35,402 --> 01:08:38,305
Carving his name
into the earth below

997
01:08:38,337 --> 01:08:41,707
as a warning
to all future campers

998
01:08:41,741 --> 01:08:43,844
who dared to enter

999
01:08:43,876 --> 01:08:47,380
his forest home again!

1000
01:08:49,782 --> 01:08:53,252
Wooh! Wooh!

1001
01:08:54,888 --> 01:08:56,823
I'm giving you
honorary goth status

1002
01:08:56,857 --> 01:08:59,225
for that macabre
and wonderful tale, Margaret.

1003
01:09:00,426 --> 01:09:04,063
You guys feel like
hitting the club Medusa tonight?

1004
01:09:04,096 --> 01:09:06,631
Actually,
we're kinda having fun here.

1005
01:09:06,666 --> 01:09:08,635
We'll catch it next month.

1006
01:09:08,667 --> 01:09:10,136
What's club Medusa?

1007
01:09:10,170 --> 01:09:14,341
Okay, kids,
we're going to turn in.

1008
01:09:14,373 --> 01:09:16,309
Don't stay up too late!

1009
01:09:22,448 --> 01:09:24,116
Can I borrow your car?

1010
01:09:24,151 --> 01:09:25,919
Promise we'll take real
good care of it.

1011
01:09:30,023 --> 01:09:32,659
So, you're really
just going to leave everyone?

1012
01:09:33,693 --> 01:09:37,097
Um, yeah,
there's this party thing.

1013
01:09:37,130 --> 01:09:38,699
Let's go.

1014
01:09:40,332 --> 01:09:42,102
Wait!
Molly's gonna come with us.

1015
01:09:42,135 --> 01:09:44,871
She's dying
to go to club Medusa.

1016
01:09:44,903 --> 01:09:46,572
I am?

1017
01:10:01,654 --> 01:10:03,389
You look amazing tonight, Joey.

1018
01:10:04,456 --> 01:10:06,058
I wish I could be you.

1019
01:10:06,091 --> 01:10:07,727
I don't feel amazing.

1020
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:09,796
I feel like I just
ditched everyone.

1021
01:10:09,828 --> 01:10:11,831
You did just
ditch everyone.

1022
01:10:12,864 --> 01:10:16,068
You chose me over them.

1023
01:10:16,102 --> 01:10:18,136
I mean, who wouldn't?

1024
01:10:18,170 --> 01:10:19,772
Just look at me.

1025
01:10:22,142 --> 01:10:24,010
Then again...

1026
01:10:24,944 --> 01:10:26,779
...just look at you.

1027
01:10:30,983 --> 01:10:34,388
Tonight is gonna be
out of control.

1028
01:10:40,260 --> 01:10:41,762
What the hell?

1029
01:10:44,264 --> 01:10:46,666
Come on.

1030
01:10:46,700 --> 01:10:48,035
Everyone's waiting.

1031
01:10:48,068 --> 01:10:49,937
Who's everyone?

1032
01:10:52,037 --> 01:10:55,674
Are you sure you
don't want to change?

1033
01:10:55,707 --> 01:10:58,245
I bet you say that
to all the girls.

1034
01:11:22,335 --> 01:11:24,136
I'm going to dance.

1035
01:11:26,038 --> 01:11:29,943
Are you ever going to hit
the concept of reapplying?

1036
01:11:33,345 --> 01:11:34,880
Why are you still
going out with him?

1037
01:11:34,913 --> 01:11:36,683
I'm not going out with him.

1038
01:11:36,715 --> 01:11:38,184
But you're still
hanging out with him?

1039
01:11:38,218 --> 01:11:41,287
Joey, you look beautiful.
It's okay.

1040
01:11:41,321 --> 01:11:46,660
- Hey, what were you doing?
- Come on!

1041
01:11:48,728 --> 01:11:51,364
- You wanna dance?
- Okay.

1042
01:11:51,398 --> 01:11:53,666
I'm gonna find
the bathroom.

1043
01:11:53,700 --> 01:11:55,035
Okay.

1044
01:11:58,104 --> 01:12:00,841
Excuse me! Sorry! Sorry!
Excuse me! Excuse me!

1045
01:12:04,743 --> 01:12:06,246
Looking rather fetching
tonight.

1046
01:12:06,278 --> 01:12:08,348
- Are you with Victor?
- Sort of.

1047
01:12:09,815 --> 01:12:11,218
Are you okay?

1048
01:12:11,251 --> 01:12:12,786
I have no idea.

1049
01:12:15,221 --> 01:12:17,090
Oh, God! I'm...

1050
01:12:17,122 --> 01:12:19,192
Is everything okay?

1051
01:12:19,225 --> 01:12:22,728
This night has gotten
very confusing very fast, sorry.

1052
01:12:22,761 --> 01:12:23,964
Excuse me.

1053
01:12:38,711 --> 01:12:40,146
You've gotta be kidding me.

1054
01:13:05,171 --> 01:13:06,372
Nice, dude.

1055
01:13:07,305 --> 01:13:10,042
Hey, look what we've got here.

1056
01:13:10,076 --> 01:13:13,645
Oh, why are you
so sad little goth chick?

1057
01:13:13,679 --> 01:13:15,982
Did your DVD of "The Craft"
get scratched?

1058
01:13:16,014 --> 01:13:17,783
Douchebag.

1059
01:13:17,817 --> 01:13:20,219
What did you just say to me?

1060
01:13:20,252 --> 01:13:21,787
Say it again.

1061
01:13:23,156 --> 01:13:25,358
I said, I bet you love

1062
01:13:25,392 --> 01:13:27,426
giving your boyfriend's
mullet a little tug

1063
01:13:27,460 --> 01:13:28,995
every time you blow him.

1064
01:13:29,028 --> 01:13:31,363
You did not just say that you
feisty little freak!

1065
01:13:31,398 --> 01:13:33,733
- What are you doing?
- Little tailgate party.

1066
01:13:33,765 --> 01:13:35,768
You guys sure know
how to treat a lady.

1067
01:13:35,801 --> 01:13:36,935
I'm sorry, buddy.

1068
01:13:36,970 --> 01:13:38,071
I already got
myself a date.

1069
01:13:38,104 --> 01:13:39,772
With your mother
or your sister?

1070
01:13:39,805 --> 01:13:42,308
You wanna say that
to my fist?

1071
01:13:42,341 --> 01:13:44,242
Okay, once more with feeling.

1072
01:13:44,277 --> 01:13:45,578
Oh, shit, run!

1073
01:13:47,179 --> 01:13:48,748
That's what I thought.

1074
01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:51,851
Thank you.

1075
01:13:51,884 --> 01:13:54,953
Oh, come on now. Us freaks
have to stick together.

1076
01:13:54,987 --> 01:13:56,956
Oh, my God, are you okay?

1077
01:13:56,989 --> 01:13:59,192
I'll just, like,
go sit or something.

1078
01:14:07,933 --> 01:14:10,636
So, what's going on
with you and Victor?

1079
01:14:10,670 --> 01:14:13,206
So, what's going on with you
and that guy from the club?

1080
01:14:15,907 --> 01:14:17,042
So, what's going on
with your friend

1081
01:14:17,076 --> 01:14:18,377
and that guy from the future?

1082
01:14:23,349 --> 01:14:25,318
Come on, I'll take you two
back to the campground.

1083
01:14:31,256 --> 01:14:32,725
Let's go!

1084
01:15:18,203 --> 01:15:19,971
What is it
I hear about a boy?

1085
01:15:20,005 --> 01:15:21,774
I don't trust
his look, Joey!

1086
01:15:21,808 --> 01:15:24,978
Get drunk
and do drugs in our home!

1087
01:15:25,010 --> 01:15:26,211
Feisty little freak!

1088
01:15:26,245 --> 01:15:27,080
What are you doing?

1089
01:15:27,112 --> 01:15:28,780
Are you
ever going to get

1090
01:15:28,814 --> 01:15:31,151
the concept of reapplying?

1091
01:15:31,184 --> 01:15:34,687
Come on now, us
freaks got to stick together.

1092
01:15:34,720 --> 01:15:37,122
You two are
so cute together.

1093
01:15:37,157 --> 01:15:38,692
Why are you still
hanging out with him?

1094
01:15:38,724 --> 01:15:40,125
Just help me!

1095
01:15:51,437 --> 01:15:53,006
Sorry about your dad, Joey!

1096
01:15:58,879 --> 01:16:00,613
I bet you're excited
to finally go home.

1097
01:16:02,380 --> 01:16:04,216
Dad?

1098
01:16:05,852 --> 01:16:07,287
Go home?

1099
01:16:08,955 --> 01:16:10,857
Honey, school starts
in a few weeks.

1100
01:16:14,794 --> 01:16:16,196
Wow.

1101
01:16:17,263 --> 01:16:18,931
I don't know, I just...

1102
01:16:18,965 --> 01:16:21,735
I guess I didn't think
this summer would end so soon.

1103
01:16:22,868 --> 01:16:24,371
You're going to have
to say goodbye to summer

1104
01:16:24,403 --> 01:16:25,705
sometime, Joey.

1105
01:16:37,916 --> 01:16:39,618
Dad?

1106
01:16:57,136 --> 01:16:58,638
Bye, Molly!

1107
01:16:58,670 --> 01:17:00,739
It was nice
to having Molly over.

1108
01:17:02,440 --> 01:17:06,245
Oh, any idea what happened
to Victor?

1109
01:17:06,278 --> 01:17:07,746
No idea.

1110
01:17:09,815 --> 01:17:11,684
Oh, your mom called.

1111
01:17:11,716 --> 01:17:14,786
She's definitely gonna make it
back in time for the party.

1112
01:17:14,821 --> 01:17:17,724
Wow! Is that supposed
to make me feel better?

1113
01:17:18,925 --> 01:17:20,393
God!

1114
01:17:24,397 --> 01:17:27,033
Hey, guys!
What are you doing?

1115
01:17:27,065 --> 01:17:29,434
- Sacrificing Virgins?
- What?

1116
01:17:29,468 --> 01:17:31,171
Oh, we're just trying
to decide a band name.

1117
01:17:31,203 --> 01:17:33,773
What do you think
of Sacrificing Virgins?

1118
01:17:33,805 --> 01:17:35,040
It's a little close to home.

1119
01:17:35,075 --> 01:17:37,277
So, not exactly
a deal breaker.

1120
01:17:38,309 --> 01:17:39,678
We have
no idea where Victor is,

1121
01:17:39,711 --> 01:17:41,346
if that's what you're about
to ask us.

1122
01:17:41,380 --> 01:17:43,382
And even if we heard
a rumor that he was

1123
01:17:43,415 --> 01:17:46,319
at Pandora's,
we certainly wouldn't tell you.

1124
01:17:48,287 --> 01:17:51,123
Oh, the tragic unveiling
of misguided teenage hearts.

1125
01:17:51,157 --> 01:17:52,692
- That's it!
- What's it?

1126
01:17:52,724 --> 01:17:54,993
The Tragic Unveiling
Of Misguided Teenager Hearts.

1127
01:17:55,027 --> 01:17:55,995
That's the name of our band.

1128
01:17:56,028 --> 01:17:57,296
You're a genius.

1129
01:18:08,174 --> 01:18:09,375
Hello?

1130
01:18:09,407 --> 01:18:11,343
Victor, I know you're in here.

1131
01:18:11,376 --> 01:18:12,678
Hello?

1132
01:18:14,246 --> 01:18:17,315
Sorry! Oh, my God. Pandora,
I was just looking for Victor.

1133
01:18:17,349 --> 01:18:20,852
Yeah.
Well, obviously,

1134
01:18:20,885 --> 01:18:22,187
he is not in here.

1135
01:18:23,389 --> 01:18:25,291
But if you leave
my house this instant,

1136
01:18:25,325 --> 01:18:27,358
I promise that I won't call
the cops on you

1137
01:18:27,393 --> 01:18:28,761
for breaking and entering.

1138
01:18:29,929 --> 01:18:31,598
Okay, sorry! My mistake.

1139
01:18:34,433 --> 01:18:36,100
All right, she's gone.

1140
01:18:36,135 --> 01:18:37,971
You can come on now.

1141
01:18:40,706 --> 01:18:41,875
That was close.

1142
01:18:50,282 --> 01:18:52,017
I'm such an idiot.

1143
01:19:01,794 --> 01:19:03,028
Got it!

1144
01:19:07,966 --> 01:19:09,067
Don't tell me
you're having feelings

1145
01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:11,004
for your toys now, are you?

1146
01:19:14,072 --> 01:19:15,340
No.

1147
01:19:19,845 --> 01:19:21,147
Mimi?

1148
01:19:23,416 --> 01:19:24,951
Papa?

1149
01:19:26,452 --> 01:19:27,986
Is anybody home?

1150
01:19:33,893 --> 01:19:35,761
You've reached the
goddess Pen, whatever you say

1151
01:19:35,795 --> 01:19:37,596
after the beep shall
determine your fate.

1152
01:19:38,363 --> 01:19:41,201
Hi, Pen. Um...

1153
01:19:41,233 --> 01:19:42,434
I really need
a friend right now,

1154
01:19:42,468 --> 01:19:44,403
so call me back, okay?

1155
01:19:57,750 --> 01:19:59,419
You've reached
reached Carissa Javitts.

1156
01:19:59,452 --> 01:20:00,920
Please leave your message
after the tone.

1157
01:20:02,287 --> 01:20:03,889
Mom.

1158
01:20:05,757 --> 01:20:07,260
Listen, I know
that you're probably

1159
01:20:07,292 --> 01:20:09,194
at the airport right now,
but, um...

1160
01:20:12,031 --> 01:20:13,232
I need my mother.

1161
01:22:16,455 --> 01:22:17,855
What are you doing here?

1162
01:22:17,889 --> 01:22:19,124
You know.

1163
01:22:20,224 --> 01:22:21,928
Just looking for some trouble.

1164
01:22:23,694 --> 01:22:25,063
So, what are you doing out here
in the middle

1165
01:22:25,098 --> 01:22:26,631
of the night anyway?

1166
01:22:26,665 --> 01:22:28,401
That's a good question.

1167
01:22:28,434 --> 01:22:29,735
You were hoping
Victor would come

1168
01:22:29,768 --> 01:22:31,004
looking for you, maybe?

1169
01:22:32,270 --> 01:22:34,372
Another good question.

1170
01:22:34,407 --> 01:22:36,108
Look,
you're not the only one

1171
01:22:36,140 --> 01:22:38,809
who sat here waiting for him.

1172
01:22:38,844 --> 01:22:41,212
You weren't even gonna be here.

1173
01:22:41,246 --> 01:22:43,149
You punched me
last time I saw you.

1174
01:22:43,181 --> 01:22:46,184
No, you're not invited,
get over it!

1175
01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:50,622
I was pretty
lovesick, too.

1176
01:22:50,656 --> 01:22:52,091
I guess he didn't tell you that.

1177
01:22:53,459 --> 01:22:55,193
Come on,
tell Antonio everything.

1178
01:22:57,028 --> 01:22:58,397
Victor treated me
like I was

1179
01:22:58,430 --> 01:23:00,632
his little summer project.

1180
01:23:00,666 --> 01:23:02,935
I want you
to be perfect.

1181
01:23:05,971 --> 01:23:07,773
Did I even mean
anything to him?

1182
01:23:09,108 --> 01:23:10,142
Well, let's see!

1183
01:23:10,175 --> 01:23:11,876
You're in a graveyard
in the middle of the night

1184
01:23:11,910 --> 01:23:13,078
by yourself.

1185
01:23:13,112 --> 01:23:14,913
There's a positively
menacing punk

1186
01:23:14,947 --> 01:23:17,049
with a knife sitting
next to you.

1187
01:23:17,082 --> 01:23:19,786
And Victor's not exactly
looking for you right now.

1188
01:23:19,818 --> 01:23:21,886
Do you know what I mean?

1189
01:23:21,920 --> 01:23:23,221
Yeah! I suppose.

1190
01:23:24,389 --> 01:23:26,023
Now,
can I ask you a question?

1191
01:23:26,058 --> 01:23:27,660
You're the one
with the knife.

1192
01:23:29,228 --> 01:23:32,765
If you're not his project,
then who are you really?

1193
01:23:34,366 --> 01:23:39,272
Come on, you got this,
you're smart, you're hot.

1194
01:23:39,304 --> 01:23:41,239
Don't let some guy tell you
who you are.

1195
01:23:41,273 --> 01:23:44,143
You have to decide for yourself
who you are, you know?

1196
01:23:45,678 --> 01:23:49,113
I've learned one thing
about myself this summer,

1197
01:23:49,147 --> 01:23:51,216
I deserve better than Victor.

1198
01:23:52,684 --> 01:23:53,951
I don't think
that's the only thing

1199
01:23:53,986 --> 01:23:56,054
you learned about yourself
this summer, but, hey,

1200
01:23:56,087 --> 01:23:57,689
That's a good start!

1201
01:23:57,723 --> 01:23:59,858
Yeah.
I guess you're right.

1202
01:23:59,890 --> 01:24:02,059
How did you get to be so wise?

1203
01:24:02,094 --> 01:24:03,996
My mom buys
Oprah magazines,

1204
01:24:04,028 --> 01:24:05,598
I read 'em on the
can sometimes.

1205
01:24:06,864 --> 01:24:08,968
Wait, does that make me gay?

1206
01:24:10,169 --> 01:24:11,304
You got
to decide for yourself

1207
01:24:11,336 --> 01:24:13,004
who you are, you know?

1208
01:24:13,037 --> 01:24:14,172
Touché!

1209
01:24:20,712 --> 01:24:23,081
Get off my baby
girl! You thug!

1210
01:24:23,114 --> 01:24:25,283
You screwed with
the wrong family.

1211
01:24:25,317 --> 01:24:26,919
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine!

1212
01:24:26,952 --> 01:24:29,254
Your mom called and said you
left a strange message.

1213
01:24:29,287 --> 01:24:31,889
- We were really worried.
- I'm good now, promise,

1214
01:24:31,922 --> 01:24:34,925
no one need worry,
least of all my mother.

1215
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,362
Can we please
get out of here?

1216
01:24:36,394 --> 01:24:38,263
I'm like, way claustrophobic.

1217
01:24:38,296 --> 01:24:40,732
Great idea!
When we get to be our age,

1218
01:24:40,765 --> 01:24:44,202
the last place you want
to hang out is the cemetery.

1219
01:24:54,813 --> 01:24:56,415
Where have you guys
been?

1220
01:24:56,447 --> 01:24:58,250
Rescuing teenagers.

1221
01:24:58,283 --> 01:24:59,984
I've been here
for over an hour,

1222
01:25:00,018 --> 01:25:01,886
none of you have your phones on.

1223
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,390
Did you get anything
to eat on the plane?

1224
01:25:04,422 --> 01:25:05,992
No, I'm starving.

1225
01:25:06,024 --> 01:25:08,727
Honey,
I'm so glad you're back.

1226
01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:10,696
Aww, thanks Mom!

1227
01:25:10,729 --> 01:25:12,964
Listen,
we'll get dinner started,

1228
01:25:12,997 --> 01:25:15,268
so you two can catch up.

1229
01:25:20,872 --> 01:25:22,908
Oh, honey.
It's so good to see you.

1230
01:25:29,648 --> 01:25:30,882
Did you miss me?

1231
01:25:35,453 --> 01:25:37,790
I got your message.

1232
01:25:37,822 --> 01:25:39,224
What was that all about?

1233
01:25:40,658 --> 01:25:42,862
Jesus!
What is it with you?

1234
01:25:42,894 --> 01:25:45,730
You're annoyed if I don't call,
you're annoyed if I do.

1235
01:25:45,764 --> 01:25:47,232
Oh, Joey,
don't start with me.

1236
01:25:48,367 --> 01:25:50,136
You have no idea
how much pressure it is

1237
01:25:50,169 --> 01:25:51,937
to be on a book tour.

1238
01:25:51,970 --> 01:25:54,139
You have no idea
how much pressure it is

1239
01:25:54,171 --> 01:25:55,640
to be 16.

1240
01:25:57,876 --> 01:25:59,745
Like I've never been
a teenager.

1241
01:26:03,415 --> 01:26:07,952
So, what's with all the black?

1242
01:26:07,986 --> 01:26:09,421
I wear black
on the outside,

1243
01:26:09,453 --> 01:26:11,357
because black is how
I feel on the inside.

1244
01:26:12,724 --> 01:26:15,961
That's very dramatic.

1245
01:26:15,995 --> 01:26:17,629
What's his name?

1246
01:26:17,662 --> 01:26:20,398
His name is Victor,
and he broke my heart.

1247
01:26:20,433 --> 01:26:21,966
Thank you very much.

1248
01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:24,035
Oh, honey!

1249
01:26:24,068 --> 01:26:27,138
You look like you just came
from a funeral.

1250
01:26:27,171 --> 01:26:28,840
A funeral?

1251
01:26:28,873 --> 01:26:30,175
I kind of just did, Mom!

1252
01:26:30,207 --> 01:26:31,978
You were there too, remember?

1253
01:26:33,112 --> 01:26:36,614
You think
I don't miss him?

1254
01:26:36,648 --> 01:26:39,351
I miss him every single day,

1255
01:26:39,385 --> 01:26:43,188
and I really don't appreciate
you throwing that in my face.

1256
01:26:43,220 --> 01:26:45,924
And I'm sure
your throng of adoring fans

1257
01:26:45,957 --> 01:26:48,227
has helped you through
this grieving process.

1258
01:26:48,260 --> 01:26:50,896
That throng
of adoring fans pays

1259
01:26:50,929 --> 01:26:52,998
for your entire life.

1260
01:26:53,031 --> 01:26:54,265
You know,
it wouldn't kill you to show

1261
01:26:54,300 --> 01:26:56,302
just a little bit of gratitude.

1262
01:26:58,903 --> 01:27:00,171
And I'm sorry I wasn't here
to help you

1263
01:27:00,205 --> 01:27:01,940
- with your boy troubles.
- No, no, no, no.

1264
01:27:01,974 --> 01:27:04,076
Let's talk about gratitude
a little bit,

1265
01:27:04,108 --> 01:27:06,946
because you know
what I'm grateful for?

1266
01:27:06,979 --> 01:27:08,847
I'm grateful
that I didn't have to spend

1267
01:27:08,880 --> 01:27:12,017
my summer listening
to your saccharine bullshit.

1268
01:27:12,050 --> 01:27:13,685
You know, I feel sorry
for the shallow idiots

1269
01:27:13,719 --> 01:27:15,688
who read your shitty novels.

1270
01:27:25,831 --> 01:27:27,632
Want dinner?

1271
01:27:30,202 --> 01:27:31,804
I'm not hungry.

1272
01:27:33,237 --> 01:27:34,706
Yeah.

1273
01:27:51,156 --> 01:27:52,658
I hope she wasn't
a total handful

1274
01:27:52,690 --> 01:27:54,827
this summer, Mom.

1275
01:27:54,859 --> 01:27:58,697
I'm probably at least partly
to blame for that.

1276
01:27:58,730 --> 01:28:02,001
Sometimes
we push people away

1277
01:28:02,033 --> 01:28:04,737
and we really should be
pulling them in close.

1278
01:28:06,104 --> 01:28:07,238
- Boo!
- Oh!

1279
01:28:07,273 --> 01:28:10,676
Jesus! Dad!

1280
01:28:10,709 --> 01:28:12,376
What am I going to do
about this new phase, you guys?

1281
01:28:12,411 --> 01:28:15,047
Accept her
for who she is,

1282
01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:17,649
and hope for the best.

1283
01:28:17,683 --> 01:28:18,984
That's what we did

1284
01:28:19,017 --> 01:28:22,421
when you were a Madonna wannabe.

1285
01:28:22,453 --> 01:28:24,755
Look how cool you turned out.

1286
01:28:24,790 --> 01:28:26,056
Come in!

1287
01:28:26,090 --> 01:28:28,893
This way
for the punch and brownies.

1288
01:28:38,269 --> 01:28:41,639
Can you watch the door
for a minute, please?

1289
01:28:41,674 --> 01:28:43,975
We need to get
this party moving, huh.

1290
01:28:48,813 --> 01:28:51,182
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ireland,
come on in!

1291
01:28:51,215 --> 01:28:54,185
Watch out for the brownies,
there have been rumours.

1292
01:28:54,219 --> 01:28:55,888
Why do you think
we are here, dear?

1293
01:28:58,857 --> 01:29:02,160
I see they'll
let any old vampire in here.

1294
01:29:02,193 --> 01:29:03,728
Hold that thought.

1295
01:29:05,296 --> 01:29:07,031
Surprise!

1296
01:29:07,064 --> 01:29:08,433
What are you
guys doing here?

1297
01:29:08,466 --> 01:29:11,103
Oh, I heard about the party
from these freaks.

1298
01:29:11,135 --> 01:29:12,370
Come on, Tony-Boy,
let's get some punch

1299
01:29:12,403 --> 01:29:13,839
and frighten the old people.

1300
01:29:20,045 --> 01:29:24,149
So, where did you
disappear to the other night?

1301
01:29:24,183 --> 01:29:25,651
Is that a joke?

1302
01:29:25,684 --> 01:29:28,887
I left you like
a dozen voicemails.

1303
01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:30,055
I missed you too, my pet.

1304
01:29:30,087 --> 01:29:31,857
I did not say
that I missed you.

1305
01:29:33,224 --> 01:29:35,093
No, I cannot believe
that I fell for you.

1306
01:29:35,126 --> 01:29:37,361
I mean, what a total waste
of a summer.

1307
01:29:37,395 --> 01:29:41,300
I turned you into something
almost borderline interesting.

1308
01:29:41,332 --> 01:29:43,100
- You should be thanking me.
- Really?

1309
01:29:43,135 --> 01:29:46,672
- Hey! Are you Victor?
- Mom, not now!

1310
01:29:46,705 --> 01:29:50,175
Oh, this is your mother,
the famous novelist.

1311
01:29:50,209 --> 01:29:53,711
Mrs. Javitts, it's an honour,
I am a huge fan.

1312
01:29:53,745 --> 01:29:54,913
So, you read my book?

1313
01:29:54,947 --> 01:29:56,248
Absolutely! Every one.

1314
01:29:56,281 --> 01:29:58,384
Well,
that makes complete sense then!

1315
01:30:00,019 --> 01:30:01,120
How's that?

1316
01:30:01,153 --> 01:30:03,622
Because my daughter says
that my books are written

1317
01:30:03,656 --> 01:30:05,123
for shallow idiots.

1318
01:30:08,359 --> 01:30:11,697
I'm sorry, did you just call
me a shallow idiot?

1319
01:30:11,729 --> 01:30:13,064
I'm just saying
that my daughter

1320
01:30:13,099 --> 01:30:15,267
is right more often
than I would like to admit.

1321
01:30:16,768 --> 01:30:17,736
In fact, you know,

1322
01:30:17,769 --> 01:30:19,304
I think I can do better
than shallow idiot.

1323
01:30:19,337 --> 01:30:21,040
If I were to describe you
in one of my novels,

1324
01:30:21,072 --> 01:30:24,108
I think I'd call you
a vainglorious egomaniacal

1325
01:30:24,142 --> 01:30:25,777
narcissist.

1326
01:30:25,810 --> 01:30:28,714
You are but a phase,
my dear boy.

1327
01:30:28,746 --> 01:30:31,048
A mere case
of temporary proctalgia,

1328
01:30:31,082 --> 01:30:33,818
cleared up by a tube
of drugstore haemorrhoid cream.

1329
01:30:33,852 --> 01:30:35,621
Ooh!

1330
01:30:35,653 --> 01:30:37,855
So, I think you better go.

1331
01:30:37,889 --> 01:30:40,893
Oh, and Victor.
Time to reapply!

1332
01:30:45,362 --> 01:30:46,698
Where did that come from?

1333
01:30:48,466 --> 01:30:49,801
A wise woman once told me

1334
01:30:49,835 --> 01:30:51,303
that sometimes
we push people away

1335
01:30:51,336 --> 01:30:54,773
when we got
to bring them closer.

1336
01:30:54,806 --> 01:30:57,041
I just want you to know
that I'm always on your side.

1337
01:30:59,176 --> 01:31:01,912
By the way, proctalgia?

1338
01:31:01,947 --> 01:31:04,783
Just another medical term
for pain in the ass.

1339
01:31:04,815 --> 01:31:07,952
It's another thing
your grandmother taught me.

1340
01:31:07,986 --> 01:31:11,689
So, you guys, the big news is,

1341
01:31:11,723 --> 01:31:14,193
that I'm gonna cancel
the second half of my book tour.

1342
01:31:14,225 --> 01:31:16,126
Really, dear?
Is that wise?

1343
01:31:16,161 --> 01:31:19,264
You don't have
to do that for me, Mom.

1344
01:31:19,297 --> 01:31:21,099
Yeah, I do.

1345
01:31:23,068 --> 01:31:25,371
Are you guys ready
to get this party started?

1346
01:31:27,773 --> 01:31:29,708
This thing on? Hi!

1347
01:31:29,741 --> 01:31:32,077
I would just like to welcome
everyone and to congratulate

1348
01:31:32,109 --> 01:31:34,813
my amazing grandparents,
Joseph and Margaret,

1349
01:31:34,845 --> 01:31:36,747
on 40 years of marriage.

1350
01:31:38,215 --> 01:31:40,419
Now, without further ado,
I am proud to introduce

1351
01:31:40,452 --> 01:31:43,222
my new favourite band, ah...

1352
01:31:43,255 --> 01:31:45,991
The Tragic Unveiling
of Misguided Teenage Hearts.

1353
01:31:46,023 --> 01:31:50,094
Congrats, you crazy kids!
This song is for you.

1354
01:31:52,429 --> 01:31:53,831
One, two, three.

1355
01:32:05,144 --> 01:32:07,112
I remember
how excited I was

1356
01:32:07,144 --> 01:32:10,114
for my fifth birthday party.

1357
01:32:10,148 --> 01:32:13,151
Then when the kids showed up,
I hid in my room,

1358
01:32:13,184 --> 01:32:15,320
wouldn't come out.

1359
01:32:15,353 --> 01:32:18,924
You held my hands
and said, "Joey,

1360
01:32:18,956 --> 01:32:22,627
"you will meet many people
in this astonishing

1361
01:32:22,661 --> 01:32:25,797
"and wonderful life of yours,
and you'll know

1362
01:32:25,831 --> 01:32:27,867
when your true friends appear."

1363
01:32:29,835 --> 01:32:32,104
This is how I will
always remember

1364
01:32:32,136 --> 01:32:36,140
my summer as a goth,
dancing with my mom

1365
01:32:36,174 --> 01:32:39,711
and my grandparents
and a group of new friends

1366
01:32:39,745 --> 01:32:42,081
that actually get me.

1367
01:32:42,113 --> 01:32:45,384
Astonishing and wonderful,
indeed.

1368
01:32:45,416 --> 01:32:46,884
Who would have guessed?

1369
01:32:50,087 --> 01:32:51,756
Hey!

1370
01:32:57,395 --> 01:33:01,300
So, you're a goth now?

1371
01:33:01,332 --> 01:33:04,102
I didn't even know
goths still existed.

1372
01:33:04,135 --> 01:33:06,238
I don't know what I am.

1373
01:33:06,270 --> 01:33:10,608
Hey Aaron!
You've been replaced.

1374
01:33:10,642 --> 01:33:13,111
Your new boyfriend
looks kind of gay.

1375
01:33:13,144 --> 01:33:14,947
Oh, shut up, Shelley!

1376
01:33:43,640 --> 01:33:47,011
Hey, Dad. I have some
friends I want you to meet.

1377
01:34:49,675 --> 01:34:51,076
Standing
someone up for those

1378
01:34:51,108 --> 01:34:53,411
or similar reasons
is inexcusable.

1379
01:34:53,444 --> 01:34:56,113
Mind you, no one
is owed a date ever.

1380
01:34:56,148 --> 01:34:57,950
The only reason
you should accept a date

1381
01:34:57,983 --> 01:35:00,319
or whatever you want
to call romantic social activity

1382
01:35:00,352 --> 01:35:02,854
between two people,
is because you are interested

1383
01:35:02,888 --> 01:35:04,154
in spending time together.

1384
01:35:04,188 --> 01:35:06,023
You don't have to go out
with someone just

1385
01:35:06,058 --> 01:35:08,694
because he or she is nice,
pays attention to you

1386
01:35:08,727 --> 01:35:10,028
or seems to expect it.

1387
01:35:10,060 --> 01:35:12,130
Nor should you feel obliged
to go out with someone,

1388
01:35:12,163 --> 01:35:15,099
because you are single goths
who know each other,

1389
01:35:15,132 --> 01:35:16,734
you may scoff, snarklings,

1390
01:35:16,768 --> 01:35:19,638
but the Lady of the Manners has
seen that exact thing happened

1391
01:35:19,670 --> 01:35:21,172
with alarming regularity.

1392
01:35:32,379 --> 01:35:37,379
Subtitles by explosiveskull