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Normal_Norman

Boxer & Socks with Leg Warmers (unf)

Jun 20th, 2013
378
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  1. By RnR66
  2.  
  3. Dude, how long till we get there?"
  4. >"Well, we just gotta drive through Deadman's Way and Jumper's bridge to get to the concert."
  5. "Man, those are some scary names."
  6. >Brad chuckles and takes a sip from his soda.
  7. >"What can you expect, this route is very dangerous. This mountain just has bad luck with racers, dangerous curves, idiot truck drivers, and-"
  8. >You finish the sentence for him as you see whats causing a rumble.
  9. "Mud slide!"
  10. >Dirt, boulders, and trees crash into Brad's van sending it off the cliff edge. You both hold onto each other as you both fall to your deaths.
  11. "Aaaaaahhhhhh! I never got to be with Aryan Beauty!"
  12. >"Aaaaaahhhhh! I never got to bang a thousand chicks!"
  13. >The van hits the water and rocks.
  14.  
  15. >You feel like you just woke up from a deep sleep. You see nothing but white, you get up and see Brad is on the floor waking up as well.
  16. >He is only wearing his boxers. You are wondering his clothes went.
  17. "Hey, dude. Where are your clothes? Where are we?"
  18. >Brad isn't paying attention to you. He keeps looking at you but not at your face.
  19. >"Well, now. Lil Norman isn't that little."
  20. "What are you-Oh come on!"
  21. >You cover up your private area with your hands. The only thing you have on is your socks.
  22. "Where the hell are my clothes?"
  23. >Brad rubs his chin in thought.
  24.  
  25. >"What I want to know is how are we alive? Last I remember we were about to die and now we're naked in a white room..."
  26. >A piece of paper lazily falls in front of you and Brad. You both grab a side of it and read it together.
  27. "Mission?"
  28. >"Mission?"
  29. >You both look at each other confused.
  30. "What mission?"
  31. >"Dude, I think we're in Heaven."
  32. "But that means we're dead."
  33. >"So... We're angels?"
  34. >Out of no where you both get struck with lighting.
  35.  
  36. >Again you feel you just had a deep sleep. You stretch and yawn as you see you're in Brad's van.
  37. >Brad is outside but this time with clothes on. He is looking at the building in front of you.
  38. >You get out and walk up to him.
  39. "Hey, I just had the strangest dream."
  40. >"We're dead."
  41. "W-What?"
  42. >He turns around and gives you a serious look. He has some blood on his face, but he looks fine.
  43. "What happened?"
  44.  
  45. >"I woke up and I had to pee. I went behind a tree to pee, there was some growling behind me and when I turned around there was a bear. I took off my pants and threw it at the bear hoping it would distract it like that bear in Back to the Future Part Three. Well instead of eating my pants, it chased me still. I threw my shoes, my coat, and my shirt. Well the bear finally got to me. He tore my arm off and my leg. I have never knew what pain was until that moment. Well I was waiting for death but it didn't happen. I kept growing new arms while the old ones would turn to sand. I got really mad, so I took off my underwear and I was going to shove it into his mouth. Well, surprise surpirse. It turned into a gun so I shot the bear in the face. It didn't kill it but that scared it away. So now I am here with my clothes on and with my limbs fully grown back back."
  46. >You coouldn't believe it, he's gone nuts.
  47. "Okay, dude. I think you need to lie down."
  48. >"You don't belive me?"
  49. "Uh of course I do."
  50. >He just looks at you and starts taking his pants off.
  51. "Uh what are you doing?"
  52.  
  53. >His belt buckle cling and clangs as his pants fall to the ground. He kicks it off along with his sneakers.
  54. "Dude, put your pants back on!"
  55. >He pulls off his underwear.
  56. "Oh come on!"
  57. > You cover your eyes.
  58. "I'm not looking until you put everythng back on."
  59. >You feel something poking your chest.
  60. >"Open your eyes."
  61. "No."
  62. >"Open them."
  63. "No. Not until you have your pants back on."
  64. >"Fine."
  65. >BANG!
  66. >You feel like something hit you. You're on the ground barely breathing with blood coming out.
  67. >Brad stands in front of you with a bright gun in his hand. The pain slowly goes away and you can breath properly again. You cough out some blood and get up.
  68. "What the hell! Where did you even get a gun from?"
  69. >"It's my boxers. It goes from being a gun to being a pair of boxers."
  70. >The gun in front of your eyes change into a pair of oxers
  71. "..."
  72. >He puts back on his clothing and goes back into thought. You can't even believe this.
  73.  
  74. >Brad turns around and looks you dead in the eye.
  75. >"Do you rememeber it?"
  76. "The dream?"
  77. >"No, that wasn't a dream... That is how we died."
  78. >You feel cold, everything is just getting too much. Some voice breaks your thoughts.
  79. >"There you guys are! "
  80. >You both look where its coming from and see its Purple.
  81. >Brad: "Twily!"
  82. >His expression changes from serious to happy. He runs up to Purple and gives her a hug with a squueze and a squeeze of her ass.
  83. >Purple: "Where have you guys been? Your parents have been looking for you guys all day yesterday."
  84. >A search party?
  85. >Brad: "We died."
  86. >Twilight looks at him confused.
  87. >Purple: "What?"
  88. >Brad retells her his bear story along with the car accident and the white room.
  89. >She is deep in thought when suddenly she snaps her fingers. She yells her dog's name.
  90. >Purple: "Spike!"
  91. >The purple dog runs over to you guys from the old building and salutes. Purple orders him to get a book.
  92. >Purple: "Spike, I need that book about a God, ghosts, angels, demons, and the Great Mission."
  93. >He nods and runs back over to the abdned buiding.
  94.  
  95. "Hey, do you know what that building is?"
  96. >Brad answers your question.
  97. >"That's the old church. Our Priest died and no one replaced him. It was left alone since."
  98. >Purple: "I'm living there right now. It has its own library in the basement. I've been reading the Reliogius books. Pretty intersting suff in there, I found some hidden rooms and inventions."
  99. "Wait why aren't you're living with your parents?"
  100. >Purple starts to sweat.
  101. >"Uh because... Oh there you are Spike."
  102. >She grabs a book from Spike's mouth. And starts to skim it.
  103. >Purple: "Lets see... In this book I read that God every now and then selects some angels to work for him. He has them fight ghosts, spirts that come from negative or repressed feelings. These angels can either help the spirts out or send them to purgatory. Hmmm they wield Holy Garamets to be used agaisnt any threating ghosts or demons."
  104. "You can not be serious... Holy underwear..."
  105. >Purple: "It says to go to heaven you must defeat or help ghosts to get heaven coins. With the coins you can go to Heaven to rest in peace."
  106. "Say what?"
  107. >Brad: "But I don't want to go to Heaven."
  108. "Yeah, fuck that. Lets go home."
  109. >You both start to walk away when sudden;y lighting strikes Spike.
  110. >The purple dog is singed and spits out a letter. All three of you look at it and read it.
  111. >Letter from God: "Do it."
  112. >Purple: "Oh wow! Looks like Spike can recieve messages from God."
  113. >The purple dog gets up and starts yelling.
  114. >Spike: "He shocked me! Who uses lightening as a way of communicating? Why mot fire like the Princess!"
  115. >Both of you and Brad are shocked.
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