Inheritor of Chaos - Chapter 0, beginning from zero

Jun 28th, 2016
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  1. >
  2. >Why life has to be so shitty
  3. >Your money, your car, your vieja
  4. >Everything went to hell thanks to your luck of life
  5. >You are Alberto N. Osuna Nieves, unemployed Mexican who lives in the suburbs of Oaxaca City
  6. >Your friends call you Anon
  7. >You recently got fired from your job in a good enterprise. The reason? Your boss is a dick, that’s why
  8. >Right now you are in a bar, drowning in beer and what not, with your bartender friend Arturo
  9. >”When are you going to pay, Alberto?” The bartender says as he cleans an empty glass
  10. “Tomorrow wey… you know I got fired from my job… let me be.” You say with an almost empty bottle of Tequila along with a melancholy tone
  11. >At this point only Vodka and Tequila can heal you from your wounds
  12. >A good job wouldn’t hurt too…
  13. >Or a fucking miracle. Drinking is a bad step, but is the only way you have to carry away your sorrow from today
  14. >The bartender, Arturo, took a sigh as he looks at you
  15. >”You had enough for one night. Look, if you want don’t pay for this night, I’ll even get you a taxi. Go take a rest, man” Arturo says concerned about your situation
  16. >As much as you want to drink more… he’s right. You can’t get to your apartment this drunk; there are thieves that are around your place. Worst thing you need for this night is someone stabbing you or a dog pissing in your pants
  17. >You nod at him and leave your bottle of Tequila in the table. Is a waste to leave it like that, but you had enough and need strength for whatever comes tomorrow
  18. >Arturo accompanies you to the exit of the bar, the music from the bar slowly fading from your ears. There was a taxi ready for you with an old man as the driver
  19. >”Good night toro. Take this man to his house, he’ll tell you where he lives.” Arturo gives the taxi driver 70 pesos and the old man picks the money, don’t minding it at all. Weird… usually they ask for 100 pesos. “Take care Alberto, just look forward and you have the best of the lucks, okay?”
  20. >Why do you have a compadre so nice? Damn it, almost makes you want to cry
  21. “Okay… we’ll see each other another day. K’? When I get a job to celebrate” You say as you enter the back seat of the taxi
  22. >”Sure man, take a rest”
  23. >The taxi driver begins taking you to home, although you haven’t told him where you live
  24. >Man… you need some water
  25. >”Long night, eh?” The old man speaks
  26. “Sí…” You quietly answer to him
  27. >Maybe a chat with a random old man will help you with how drunk you are
  28. >If this old man can find a job, why you can’t? You just need determination and luck!
  29. >Yeah…
  30. >”You just need some resting as your friend told you and you’ll be fresh for tomorrow”
  31. >The taxi was starting to raise the speed a bit
  32. “Yes… I just need some rest. Tomorrow will be another day”
  33. >…
  34. >You really want to chat with this old man but you don’t know what topic to talk with
  35. >Eh…
  36. “How old are you, amigo? You look like you are ready to retire. Or are you like those old man’s who never give up a job and continue earning money? Heh…”
  37. >For some reason, the speed of the taxi was increasing. Was that or you really drank too much and weren’t thinking straight
  38. >”Not really, this isn’t my taxi and neither I have a job”
  39. >Jaja, what?
  40. >The old man must be joking or your mind is making you hear things
  41. >You’ll play along with him
  42. “Right… and I am the prince of Persia.” You chuckle slightly. “Look man, I haven’t even told you where to go, you just went to a totally random route”
  43. >”I know! I like to go random directions.” The old man says as he passes a semaphore that was in red light. “Do you think I’ll win points if I ran over a policeman? Hehehe”
  44. >Okay que chingados
  45. “What the hell, dude? You can’t just joke like that! And you passed one red light! Are you insane?”
  46. >”Graduated top of my asylum! And one red light? Pfft, I already passed four red lights!”
  47. >Okay, this is going nowhere. You need to exit the damn taxi before you get involved in a random old man that firstly he isn’t a taxi driver and second… HE’S FUCKING NUTS!
  48. “Olvidalo, I’m out of here”
  49. >You say placing your hand over the taxi’s lock. Maybe you were too drunk to think, but you didn’t know how much speed the taxi was going
  50. >”I shouldn’t open the door if I was you, we are going right now at some 120 km/h and you shouldn’t think of opening that door!” The old man says with a cheeky smirk. “Only open that if you want to become a bug in someone else’s window!”
  51. >Jesus Maria Jose…
  52. “S-stop the taxi! Now!”
  53. >Words couldn’t stop him… so you tried to go to the seat next to him and try pressing the hand brake
  54. >For some reason… it didn’t work. Maybe it was going too fast to stop it or you forgot how taxis work
  55. >”I didn’t know you wanted to drive! Here, have this”
  56. >The old man removes the steering wheel from the taxi and gives it to you
  57. >How in the heavens he managed to pull the wheel out!?
  58. >”There you go! Have fun!” He opens the driver’s door and… jumps out, his last words being ‘Arrivederchi’
  60. >Oh god… oh god! You are going to die…!
  61. >You are going to be one more to join the newspaper from México accidents and deaths… and be forgotten because nobody gives a shit about the newspaper of México!
  62. >All by the cause of that madman
  63. >The taxi goes directly to a build, you can’t quite see if it’s a house or not… but the case is… you are going to crash and horribly die
  64. >This is it…
  65. “Not like this… not like thiiisssss!”
  66. >You close your eyes and wait for the impact
  67. >You hear the crash but you don’t feel anything
  68. “Aa-ayy!”
  69. >And you fall from your… bed? Was it… a dream?
  70. >You look with fear at the date in your cellphone, it was the next day of the previous day…
  71. >That wasn’t a dream? Or was it? Dios.... Only Arturo can answer your doubts to this
  72. >You were about to call him but someone sent you a message to your cellphone. The message said “Check under your pillow”
  73. >You do check your pillow out of curiosity and find… a lamp. What the hell was this? Aladin’s magic lamp? It looks really similar…
  74. >Okay you have no idea what the fuck is going on. First you were at the bar, took a taxi, old man driving was insane and… you woke up on your bed. Or on the floor because of… how startled you were at almost crashing to a build
  75. >This must be some kind of joke or maybe someone is cursing you
  76. >Must be Lupita… that bitch
  77. >Fuck it, let’s play along and see what happens
  78. >You rub the lamp three times, just like in the movie and wait for something
  79. >Nothing happens
  80. >You rub more and faster… …and some pink with brown liquid comes out of the lamp
  81. “Ewww… I knew it was a joke!” You say, throwing the lamp to the floor. “Where are the cameras? Okay, this isn’t funny anymore!”
  82. >You try searching for any hidden cameras, but you don’t find anything. You even throw a book into the window out of frustration. Then you look at the floor where the lamp was, and it… started to shake
  83. >From inside it a big large weird ass snake starts to come out
  84. >You take a step back and look in horror as the long snake stretch his… arms? What are those?
  85. >Wait…
  86. >It can’t be… you’ve seen this snake before…
  87. >”Greetings, human!” The snake says looking at you with a grin. “I am-“
  88. "¿¡Quetzalcoatl!? You say in surprise, cutting out his presentation
  89. >”…Who?”
  90. >Wasn’t this snake Quetzalcoaltl? Is his cousin? Or maybe just a… hallucination? It looks too real for you
  91. “What… are you?”
  92. >”Well… if you let me finish.” The creature snaps his talons and a cloud of smoke covers him, then reveals him wearing a crown and a cape. The words ‘King & God of chaos’ were in top of him as a shiny sign. “My name is Discord, actual king /and/ god of chaos. No need to bow, don’t worry human”
  93. >A god? In your apartment?
  94. >What the fuck did you smoke last night?
  95. >”I know you might be wondering, what I am, what I’m doing here and stuff… let’s just jump to the important, ehem.” A long list appears in front of him along with tiny glasses. “Your name is Alberto, nickname is Anon. You worked in cruises but now you are unemployed. Your life has gone down that your only enjoyment is videogames and beer.” The list disappears from his claws. “Although you have a very nice persistence, am I right?”
  96. >Is this guy like… that story of the ghost of Christmas? Because you don’t know where he is going
  97. “I don’t remember giving my curriculum to a god of chaos, eh…” You take a sit on your bed. “What’s your point, what you want, eh… Disnuts?”
  98. >”Discord.” He corrects you. “I’m here to give you a deal you won’t reject. You don’t have a job, right?”
  99. “Nope, I’m looking for one tho”
  100. >Discord chuckled slightly
  101. >”Alright… I’m looking for someone to follow me to my world, place where I’m the king. Someone to become the second most important habitant of there and get to experience with… stuff you’ve never seen in your whole human life. You are the lucky human to get this position, interested?”
  102. >That seems… tempting
  103. “Hmm… Where’s the trick? I win something but you win something too, don’t you? This doesn’t look like a job at all, more like a deal”
  104. >This makes Discord chuckle more. It was starting to concern you slightly
  105. >”I only win my fun. You get your fun, I get mine. You could even learn a few tricks from your god and king of chaos”
  106. >Even if he’s a king or god you never hear of...
  107. “Let me tell you first, I bow to no one. Even if I’m the “second” in your command, I won’t ever bow to you. I have my pride, you know?” You say with your arms crossed to your chest, looking straight at his weird yellow eyes
  108. >Discord disappeared right in front of you with a “poof”. Then a tiny version of him appeared right in your shoulder
  109. >”Oh come on, I won’t ask you to bow. Just be there, close to me… as a, hmmm…. Son?”
  110. >¿Qué?
  111. “You want me as… your son?”
  112. >”Yes. Prince Anon doesn’t sound amazing? You won’t bow, but everyone will!”
  113. >Hmmm… this is starting to sound very good or too obvious. Being a prince is like being the vice-president… although you weren’t never good with politics
  114. “Yeah, sure. Make me a prince, why not. What’s next? Your word is full of magic all of the sudden too?”
  115. >Discord disappeared from your shoulder and appeared in front of you with a magician outfit, grabbing a top hat with his claw
  116. >”Of course!” He then pulls a bunny, how original. “But really, the world is full of magic. If you want I could teach you to do magic /or/ fly. Even both! Your choice if you accept”
  117. >Being a prince, flying, doing magic… theeeere’s gotta be something else missing…
  118. >Discord was holding a list in front of you, titled “Inheritor of Chaos”
  119. >”Just sign here… here and there… and we’ll be on our way to my world. You get various stuff by free and I get my fun. What do you say, deal?”
  120. >Discord wasn’t holding a pen or quill to make you sign; he only was showing his open claw to you
  121. >So this is what people call a “Deal with the devil”?
  122. >You are having your doubts… but what’s there to lose? You might be back in a week from that world
  123. >”Come on Anon, I got not the time for waiting… I got a huge schedule back in my world. What do you say? Yes? No?”
  124. >Discord was showing a smile that was almost showing his teeth
  125. >Something is off…
  126. >But…
  127. >You really want to try it
  128. “…Deal”
  129. >You hold his claw, shaking it and closing the deal
  130. >The list that Discord was holding with his other… paw? Suddenly got three signatures. It was your signature…
  131. >”Haha! Let’s go then. To Equestria!” Discord snaps his talons, making the list disappear and making two space suits appear in both of you. The one who he was wearing was blue and the one you were wearing was red with a big “D” on it
  132. >For some damn reason you feel… light… why?
  133. “Space… suits?” You ask to Discord, he just nods at you
  134. >”Yes. Also, you might get dizzy by this method, I recommend you to close your eyes or hold tight to something. I’ve never tried this before!”
  135. >…Why?
  136. >Discord turned the computer of your room and a blue screen was showing some binary numbers on it
  137. >
  138. >”This is the TEC. System 42.1000. Initiating ignition in 10.5 seconds.” A voice on your room started to say. Was it your computer? W-What?
  139. >Wait a fucking second, how the fuck… you hear the voice but you also see some blue dialogue below you
  140. “Ignition? What the heck does that mean?”
  141. >Your voice sounds funny… why?
  142. >You look at your hand and… it… is flat!?
  144. >”Launch in 3. . .”
  145. >AY AVE MARIA
  146. >”Hold on tight, boyo!”
  147. >”Launch in 2. . .”
  148. >You slip under your bed and grab whatever the hell you can with your now light and flat hands
  149. >”Launch in 1. . .”
  150. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Hey, I just discovered that this is a Paper Mario reference…”
  151. >Then everything went dark. You could hear the voice of Discord out in the distance saying something about you discovering that reference
  152. >. . .
  153. >. . .
  154. >”…Non”
  155. >. . .
  156. >”Anon, wake up”
  157. >. . .
  158. >”ALBERTO”
  159. >…!
  160. “W-Wha?”
  161. >You look around you. You were in some black room with two chairs and a desk, one chair which was being used by you and the other… you don’t know but you can guess who is sitting there
  162. “D-Discord?”
  163. >The chair turns around, revealing him indeed. He was larger for some reason or were you on your knees?
  164. “Ugh… my head spins… where I am?”
  165. >”Welcome to your new home, Anon!” He says, greeting you. “Now this is the part where you freak out, son”
  166. >Freak out? Why would you freak out? For how the room looks? It didn’t look that scary, your last boss’s room /was/ scary
  167. “Why?”
  168. >”I don’t know, son… let me see… wanna play rock paper scissors?”
  169. >A child’s game? Pfft, whatever. You would prefer to play something more casual, but okay, you’ll play along
  170. “Game on then” You shrug and prepare to play
  171. >Discord does the movement with his claw, starting the game. You move your hand over the desk so he could see-
  172. >…
  173. >Wait…
  174. >What…?
  175. >Where…?
  176. >”Rock, paper or scissors!” Discord places his open claw on your… your… y-y-your… l-limb…..? “Ah, paper beats rock! I win!”
  177. “Ahhfgg… ahdf… m-my…” You look at where your hand was, you were starting to get pale at the sight of… whatever the hell you were seeing. “W-Where… q…que chin… ah…”
  178. >Discord starts to look at himself in a hand mirror, showing some grins and smiles at it
  179. >”Ah… I look really great today. Wouldn’t you say the same to yourself, Anon? Hope you get used to hooves”
  180. >You stop looking at your… hooves? And look with all the fright to the hand mirror Discord was holding for you
  181. >In there a green colorful… cartoon horse was looking at you
  182. >You touch your cheeks; the reflection in the mirror does the same
  183. >You move one hoof in front of the mirror; the reflection does the same…
  184. >You keep looking at your new hoof and form for a while
  185. “Jeje.. jaja… jajaja! Ahh…”
  186. >And you faint on your seat, falling straight to the floor
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