Hospital Blues

>You are Anonymous, and you are currently sitting  in a waiting room in the local hospital
>Saint Mary's, if you remembered correctly
>You tap your thumbs together nervously, engaging them in a personal thumb war
>You were waiting to be called in to be put under for surgery
>The doctors had been rather adamant about you needing a new heart
>Luckily, a donor had popped up relatively quick, and so you were here
>Just waiting, tapping your thumbs together
>The tick tocking of the clock on the wall is nearly deafening in the otherwise silent waiting room
>The only other sound being the clerk at the desk scribbling on papers and occasionally stapling them, maybe even using the copying machine every once in a while
>None of the distractions around you offered much comfort in what you would very shortly be going through
>Something about being put to sleep unnerved you
>Anything could happen in that time
>Hell, you could even not wake up at all and stand before the great white pearly gates if something went wrong
>Point is, you would be helpless
>"Um... Anonymous? Anonymous McProxy?"
>The clerk calls out your name
>It's time
>Silently, you stand up and walk towards the desk
"Yes?"
>The clerk looked up, her old and wrinkly face seemingly scanning over every inch of your body
>Her similarly wrinkled finger tapped on a paper before her, her acrylic fingernail clacking against the desk
>"They're ready for you, please go to room 2113 , it's down the hall and to the right, look for a sign that says 'Operating Theater'"
>And so you went, and before you knew it, you were already falling asleep underneath the harsh glow of hospital lamps and masked doctors standing above you, looking down as your vision faded
>You were dreaming
>Unlike other dreams however, this one wasn't a very interesting one
>It was just a waiting room, except it was colorless, as if color never even existed
>There was only one chair in the room... and you were its sole occupant
>A woman with a large hairdo sat at an old and seemingly ready to collapse desk, filing away at her nails like nobody's business
>You tried to get up, but found that no matter how hard you tried to stand, your feet were stuck to the floor, and your legs to the chair
>Hell, even your arms were stuck the arms of the chair
>You couldn't even move your back!
>You couldn't move at all!
>It was a dream, so you tried to not let yourself get too upset
>But it was your dream!
>You tried to shout 'What is the meaning of this?', but all that came out was the bark of a dog
>The lady looked up at you, an obviously unimpressed look smeared across her face, and  she seemed to file her nails more voraciously than before, more loud
>A pile of fingernail dust collected on the dusk, its growth was slow, but it was steadily accumulating
>Her nails weren't getting any more short or sharpened, and at a closer glance they seemed to be quite gnarly, the yellow nails chipped and curling at the ends
>You began to grow more fearful of this place
>Attempting to repeat the same sentence in the same manner resulted in yet another dog bark escaping your mouth
>"Watch your tone."
>Her voice was grating, and made you wince, it sounded as if a jigsaw was trying to cut through sheet metal, or even worse than that
>"What's happening?"
>You didn't try to yell this time
>The lady looked at you and spoke in that same grating voice
>"You're in purgatory boy, now wait for the good lord to see you."
>Purgatory?
>Good lord?
>What the fuck was this place?
>Just as you were about to ask more questions, a tall figure bursted into the room
>Two large wooden doors that weren't there before slammed open next to the corrupted looking woman at the desk, who smiled at the... thing
>"Why hello Lord Discord, the patient is just over there."
>Patient?
>Suddenly it clicked
>You died in the hospital
>You were right, you never did wake up, but you weren't standing at the gates of heaven like you thought you were going to be
>No, you were standing at the gates of fear as the monster strode ever closer
>One donkey hoof clopping against the hardwood floor and another paw plodding to greet you
>He stood before you before you could blink an eye
>"Why hello there Anonymous McProxy! My name is Discord and I will be servicing you today!"
>He winked at you with a large yellow and red eye
>Those gigantic poofy caterpillars that you dared to call eyebrows literally danced, the demonic amalgamation of animals before you seemed nonplussed about it however
>He pulled a chair from behind himself and sat on it, backwards, 'arms' casually resting on the back of the chair as he leaned ever closer
>"Now... It seems to me that there might be a complication..."
>You dared not to speak, not wanting to anger WHAT this thing was
>His eyes scanned a clipboard with a MASSIVE stack of papers on it
>He pulled out a microscope and carefully looked at the topmost paper
>"Ah yes, it seems to me that you died!"
>The cat's out of the bag now!
>"Before your time!"
>Guess you were just going to ro- Wait what?
>You peered at it cautiously
"Before my time? So you mean that I wasn't supposed to die?"
>He shook his head
>"Certainly not! We had everything perfectly planned out for you, and some fellow or another messed things up a bit."
>You perked up at that
>Maybe you could go home?
"Does that mean I get to go... back?"
>The creature, Discord, looked at you with the blankest expression you had ever seen
>He literally had no face
>Suddenly, he had a face again, and boy was he laughing
>He was... laughing.
>Ah bollocks
>"Most definitely not! Two of you can't exist at once!"
>So you were staying dead then
>"However! We have a contigency plan for this very situation."
>The chair is gone, and he suddenly has a green soldier's helmet upon his head
>He stood before a projection, although there was no projector, and he pointed at a single black word on the wall that somehow flickered in eight millimeter film grain with a stick
>'Equestria'
>That was it
>"You will live a new life here! In Equestria!"
>You have no idea what Equestria is
>"There will only be a few changes, as per the rules, as much as I detest rules, even I cannot cheat this system."
>He seemed sad, though it wasn't surprising considering that he struck you as someone who wouldn't follow rules
>"The first condition is that you cannot be the same gender you were."
>WHAT?!
"But my dick!"
>He nodded solemnly, but the lady farther back scoffed at your statement
>"I know I know, those are the rules. The second condition is that you can't be the same species."
>He pulled out an absolutely ginormous spinning wheel, with an intimidating amount of words on it
>Some of the names were things you'd never heard of
>Others were names you heard in greek mythology
>Unicorn, Pegasus, Hydra, Minotaur...
>There were so many species
>He motioned at the wheel, and when you lifted your arm up you were somehow not surprised to find that you could move it
>You stood up and reached as much as you can, grabbing one of the spokes of the wheel with the name 'Parasprite' next to it
>You'd never even heard of that
>With one great tug, you pull the wheel down with all your might
>It pinged every time one of the spokes crossed a red arrow, which you assume was where the selection occured
>The wheel began slowing down, both you and Discord watching with anticipation
>You were nervous now
>The names went by ever so slowly
>Eventually it came to a stop, and the choice is...
>Alicorn?
>Discord whistled the kind of whistle you'd hear when someone caught a huge fish
>Usually, the words after that whistle would be 'Look atcher! Ya caught a big 'un!'
>Discord clapped his claw and paw together and wiped a tear from his eye
>"Look atcher! Ya caught a big 'un!"\
>This being was officially the scariest thing you had ever seen
"What does that mean, Alicorn? Is that good?"
>It sounded like a unicorn, but not exactly
>"You hit the jackpot Mister Anonymous McProxy! You get to be a princess!"
>A WHAT?!