Fluffy Diet

    > Adopt a fluffy pony
    > One day, comment that she's getting fat
    > Gradually ramp up the comments over the course of a week
    > Get a concave carnival mirror for her saferoom
    > Ask her why she isn't as thin as she was when you adopted her
    > Say you wouldn't have got her if you'd have known she'd turn into an ugly fat pony
    > Fluffy pony starts acting depressed, no longer asks 'Hugs?' or 'Pway?' as much
    > You notice she isn't eating as much as she used to
    > Make extra large portions of spaghetti for her
    > Leave plates of cakes and cookies out as well
    > Sometimes she forgets her diet, and eats all of them; when she does, remind her she's trying to get thin
    > When she remembers, ask her why she's being so ungrateful for her food
    > Leave copies of Fluffy Pony Owner magazine lying around, comment on how pretty the nice, thin ponies on the cover look
    > Fluffy pony soon becomes despondent, crying herself to sleep each night
    > She tries running round her safe room in circles all day to try and lose weight
    > Each day, she gets thinner and weaker
    > Keep commenting that she looks fat
    > One day, there's a documentary about bulimia on TV
    > Leave fluffy pony in the room whilst its on
    > Fluffy pony tires to make herself vomit by forcing a finger down her throat
    > Fluffy ponies don't have fingers
    > Equines can't vomit
    > Eventually she's too weak to walk
    > She lies on the floor of her safe room, asking if she's thin enough
    > Say no, she's clearly so fat she can't stand up
    > Leave her usual dinner
    > Fluffy pony starves to death in a room full of food