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May 24th, 2017
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  1. ***User "theLichKing" has entered the chat.***
  2. [theLichKing]: Hey
  3. [theLichKing]: Anyone there?
  4. [theLichKing]: *drums fingers*
  5. ***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has entered the chat.***
  6. [theLichKing]: Hey man.
  7. [Kel’Thuz4d]: my liege
  8. [theLichKing]: Listen, there's this thing I need you to do for me
  9. [Kel’Thuz4d]: anything my liege
  10. [Kel’Thuz4d]: what army must i lay to waste
  11. [Kel’Thuz4d]: whose lands shall i decimate for ur glory
  12. [theLichKing]: Um, yeah, I'm good on decimation for today. We're going to hold off on the decimation for, like, a week or so.
  13. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ok?
  14. [theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room?
  15. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ...
  16. [Kel’Thuz4d]: y?
  17. [theLichKing]: It's really really cold in here.
  18. [theLichKing]: I'm Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat.
  19. [Kel’Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne
  20. [theLichKing]: Right
  21. [theLichKing]: See that's exactly what I'm talking about. The throne is frozen. The chair that I sit on all day? Literally a block of ice.
  22. [theLichKing]: It is so very, very cold.
  23. [theLichKing]: I actually cannot over-emphasize how cold I am on a daily basis.
  24. [Kel’Thuz4d]: but its supposed to be frozen
  25. [Kel’Thuz4d]: its the source of ur power
  26. [theLichKing]: About that. Can I get my power transferred to some other source?
  27. [theLichKing]: Something that isn't made out of ice that I then have to literally sit on?
  28. [theLichKing]: Someone dropped the ball there.
  29. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ok so like what should it be then
  30. [Kel’Thuz4d]: like a ring?
  31. [theLichKing]: A ring?
  32. [theLichKing]: Seriously, a ring.
  33. [theLichKing]: Do you _read_ history?
  34. [Kel’Thuz4d]: so what then
  35. [theLichKing]: I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe an armoire.
  36. [Kel’Thuz4d]: armor?
  37. [theLichKing]: No, not armor. An armoire. The furniture.
  38. [theLichKing]: Oh but speaking of armor
  39. [theLichKing]: I have skulls on my kneecaps.
  40. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ok?
  41. [theLichKing]: No, it is _not_ okay.
  42. [theLichKing]: I have skulls.
  43. [theLichKing]: On my _kneecaps_.
  44. [Kel’Thuz4d]: well for the thermostat i think u need approval from a supervisor
  45. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ill just get kiljaeden in here and well sort it out
  46. [theLichKing]: No!
  47. [Kel’Thuz4d]: no its cool
  48. [theLichKing]: No, don't...
  49. [theLichKing]: Ugh, my old boss. I hate this guy.
  50. [theLichKing]: Ok I'll just...I'll act casual. Like old times.
  51. ***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***
  52. [Killzone’jaeden]: This had better be important.
  53. [Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah lich king here just wants a warmer throne room is all
  54. [Killzone’jaeden]: Warmer?
  55. [theLichKing]: No it's really not necessary sir
  56. [Killzone’jaeden]: You want a warmer throne room?
  57. [Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah
  58. [theLichKing]: No
  59. [Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah he does
  60. [theLichKing]: I really don't.
  61. [Killzone’jaeden]: Ok sure let me just get right on that
  62. [Killzone’jaeden]: I actually know these guys, they're really great, literally made out of fire
  63. [Killzone’jaeden]: They could heat your room right up for you
  64. [Killzone’jaeden]: They're called the Burning Legion...why don't I just invite them to Azeroth so they can come and
  65. [Killzone’jaeden]: OH WAIT
  66. [Killzone’jaeden]: Someone's too busy being Chatty Cathy to PREPARE HIS WORLD FOR AN APOCALYPSE
  67. [theLichKing]: So sorry sir
  68. [Kel’Thuz4d]: hey cmon though its not like weve just been sitting around
  69. [Kel’Thuz4d]: were spreading plague and stuff
  70. [Kel’Thuz4d]: we totally spread a lot of plague
  71. [Kel’Thuz4d]: and dont forget the spider war
  72. [theLichKing]: Actually I wouldn't mention that...
  73. [Killzone’jaeden]: Oh yes. The "Spider War."
  74. [Killzone’jaeden]: The "war" where you spent ten years getting rid
  75. [Killzone’jaeden]: OF SPIDERS
  76. [Killzone’jaeden]: Check it out, I had a Mosquito War last night. Mosquito lands on me, I squish it. Done. Two seconds.
  77. [Killzone’jaeden]: Didn't take me ten years
  78. [Killzone’jaeden]: BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT
  79. [theLichKing]: Yes sir
  80. [theLichKing]: Very sorry sir.
  81. [theLichKing]: I'm on it.
  82. [Killzone’jaeden]: Y'know what, you know who else might want to hear about this
  83. [Killzone’jaeden]: Maybe I shold get Sargeras in here
  84. [Kel’Thuz4d]: sure
  85. [theLichKing]: NO! That's not necessary
  86. [Killzone’jaeden]: Hold on I'll go get him.
  87. ***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***
  88. [theLichKing]: ARE YOU CRAZY
  89. [theLichKing]: "Sure"? Do you know who Sargeras actually is??
  90. [Kel’Thuz4d]: i think so hes alliance right
  91. [theLichKing]: ...
  92. [Kel’Thuz4d]: horde?
  93. [theLichKing]: *headdesk*
  94. ***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
  95. [An00b’arak]: hay guise whats goin on in dis chat
  96. [Kel’Thuz4d]: sup
  97. [An00b’arak]: sup
  98. [Kel’Thuz4d]: sup
  99. [An00b’arak]: sup
  100. [Kel’Thuz4d]: whaaaazzzzaaaaaap
  101. [An00b’arak]: what are yoooooou doing
  102. [theLichKing]: GUYS
  103. [theLichKing]: SERIOUSLY
  104. [An00b’arak]: whats his problem
  105. [Kel’Thuz4d]: hes cold
  106. [An00b’arak]: well yeah he sits on a frozen throne inside of icecrown glacier with a sword named frostmorn
  107. [An00b’arak]: the name icecrown glacier can only imply that among glaciers, which are themselves made of ice, this one is especially icy
  108. [An00b’arak]: its possible there is some coldness involved
  109. [theLichKing]: _Thank_ you!
  110. [theLichKing]: Ok, so install me a thermostat pl0x.
  111. [Kel’Thuz4d]: uh boss ixnay on asking him to install stuff
  112. [An00b’arak]: what is that supposed to mean??
  113. [Kel’Thuz4d]: uh
  114. [An00b’arak]: oh i get it
  115. [An00b’arak]: bc im an arachnid?????
  116. [An00b’arak]: and how could i possibly install a thermostat without thumbs
  117. [An00b’arak]: racist
  118. [Kel’Thuz4d]: no no no
  119. [Kel’Thuz4d]: well ok yeah how would that actually work
  120. [An00b’arak]: im sure i dont know...im just an arachnid
  121. [An00b’arak]: guess what im not ashamed of what i am
  122. [An00b’arak]: >8< spider pride
  123. ***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***
  124. [Kel’Thuz4d]: thank god
  125. ***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
  126. [Kel’Thuz4d]: oh god
  127. [An00b’arak]: im lodging a formal protest
  128. [An00b’arak]: i am going to let every1 know the scourge is not an equal opportunity employer
  129. [An00b’arak]: and i am being discriminated against due to race
  130. [An00b’arak]: and species
  131. [An00b’arak]: and phylum
  132. [theLichKing]: Ok, look, there's no need to get upset
  133. [An00b’arak]: omg
  134. [An00b’arak]: dont apologize for him arthas
  135. ***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***
  136. [Killzone’jaeden]: Sargeras is logging on now.
  137. [theLichKing]: Aw hell.
  138. [Killzone’jaeden]: Precisely.
  139. [theLichKing]: Listen, I wasn't complaining earlier, the temperature is fine...
  140. [An00b’arak]: kiljaeden??
  141. [Killzone’jaeden]: Excuse me, who is this? I'm *Lord* Jaeden to anybody that's not a Dreadlord.
  142. [An00b’arak]: listen killy there is some phylumism going down in this piece
  143. [Killzone’jaeden]: Killy? Oh you do want to die don't you.
  144. [Killzone’jaeden]: Also does nobody capitalize anymore?!
  145. [Killzone’jaeden]: I didn't spend seven aeons feasting on the souls of the righteous just so I could play typing games with the functionally illiterate.
  146. [An00b’arak]: no im serious this is a real issue
  147. [Killzone’jaeden]: *What* is a real issue?
  148. [An00b’arak]: phylum
  149. [An00b’arak]: ism
  150. [Killzone’jaeden]: You best start talking some English
  151. [Killzone’jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras?
  152. [theLichKing]: Precisely.
  153. [Killzone’jaeden]: Don't get cute.
  154. [An00b’arak]: i am being discriminated against on the basis of my spinal condition
  155. [Killzone’jaeden]: What is your spinal condition?
  156. [An00b’arak]: i dont have 1
  157. [Killzone’jaeden]: What?
  158. [An00b’arak]: im an arachnid
  159. [An00b’arak]: >8< spider power
  160. [Killzone’jaeden]: Hey LK I thought you squished all of them already. You spent ten years on these morons and you didn't even finish the job?
  161. [An00b’arak]: what
  162. [theLichKing]: Yeah I reanimated him. I'm the Lich King, it's sort of what I do.
  163. [Killzone’jaeden]: So you smashed a bunch of bugs
  164. [Killzone’jaeden]: And then you were like,
  165. [Killzone’jaeden]: "Huh! I sure would like to have those bugs back again!"
  166. [Killzone’jaeden]: Is your brain frozen or what?
  167. [theLichKing]: Ok that's kind of what I was getting at before.
  168. [Killzone’jaeden]: That you're an idiot?
  169. [An00b’arak]: ur horrible
  170. [An00b’arak]: ur a phylumist
  171. [Killzone’jaeden]: Oh no, I'm horrible. Why don't you go and tell all my demon friends how horrible I am. They will be shocked.
  172. [An00b’arak]: phylumist phylumist phulymst phylimist
  173. [An00b’arak]: that gets hard to type after a while though
  174. ***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***
  175. [Kel’Thuz4d]: thank god
  176. ***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
  177. [Kel’Thuz4d]: oh god
  178. [Kel’Thuz4d]: go back to your hole
  179. [theLichKing]: Yeah get out of here
  180. [Killzone’jaeden]: Go back to your hole, spider
  181. [An00b’arak]: p
  182. [An00b’arak]: h
  183. [An00b’arak]: y
  184. [Kel’Thuz4d]: lolwut
  185. [An00b’arak]: l
  186. [An00b’arak]: u
  187. [Killzone’jaeden]: Shut. Up.
  188. [An00b’arak]: m
  189. [Killzone’jaeden]: Dude get rid of this guy.
  190. [An00b’arak]: i
  191. ***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***
  192. ***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***
  193. [An00b’arak]: sts
  194. ***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***
  195. [Killzone’jaeden]: Finally
  196. [Killzone’jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras
  197. [theLichKing]: It's really not necessary, I withdraw my request completely.
  198. [Kel’Thuz4d]: no he wants armor
  199. [theLichKing]: An *armoire.*
  200. [theLichKing]: Of power.
  201. [Killzone’jaeden]: I cannot express how much I hate both of you.
  202. [Killzone’jaeden]: And this is coming from someone whose lungs are made out of solidified hate.
  203. ***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***
  204. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: hey everyone ^_^
  205. [theLichKing]: How did you get in here?!
  206. [theLichKing]: This is a private chat!
  207. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: lol :)
  208. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: i hacked admin :)
  209. ***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "~*`Sylvanas'*~" from the chat.***
  210. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: lol lol lol
  211. [Killzone’jaeden]: TIE fighters
  212. [theLichKing]: What?
  213. [Killzone’jaeden]: Nothing. Can't you kick her out?
  214. [theLichKing]: I just tried
  215. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: admin guys lol
  216. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: :) ^___^
  217. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: oh plus i can chat under ur names check this out
  218. [theLichKing]: im a little girl and i like ponies lol
  219. [theLichKing]: What! I hate ponies!
  220. [Killzone’jaeden]: ROFLMAO
  221. [Kel’Thuz4d]: she hax0red you dude
  222. [theLichKing]: This isn't funny!
  223. [theLichKing]: i play with dolls
  224. [theLichKing]: and bake cookies with my mommy
  225. [theLichKing]: Untrue! I deny everything
  226. [Killzone’jaeden]: Hahaha
  227. [theLichKing]: Ok guys this is lame let's just go to a different chat room
  228. [Killzone’jaeden]: NO!
  229. [Killzone’jaeden]: We're waiting for Sargeras!
  230. [Killzone’jaeden]: It's next to impossible to get him into these things anyway
  231. [Killzone’jaeden]: I'm not going to confuse him
  232. [theLichKing]: im a little teapot short and stout
  233. [Killzone’jaeden]: Besides this is hilarious
  234. [Killzone’jaeden]: Sargeras is going to get here and you'll be singing about teapots...you'll get pwned
  235. [Killzone’jaeden]: Maybe he'll buy you a "pwny"
  236. [Killzone’jaeden]: Hahaha see what I did there
  237. [Kel’Thuz4d]: i dont get it
  238. [Kel’Thuz4d]: wait ok but thats dumb
  239. [Killzone’jaeden]: Wordplay. Look it up.
  240. [Killzone’jaeden]: i like to dress up like a girl
  241. [Killzone’jaeden]: Oh now she's doing it to me too
  242. [Killzone’jaeden]: i like to put on women's clothes
  243. [Killzone’jaeden]: and pretend im a woman
  244. ***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***
  245. [Killzone’jaeden]: and look at myself in the mirror all pretty
  246. [Killzone’jaeden]: and call myself the prettiest prettiest princess
  247. [theLichKing]: Umm she's not here anymore
  248. [theLichKing]: Are you just typing that stuff yourself?
  249. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ...
  250. [theLichKing]: ...
  251. [Killzone’jaeden]: ...
  252. [Killzone’jaeden]: WHERE THE HELL IS SARGERAS
  253. ***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***
  254. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: heeeeeee~
  255. [Kel’Thuz4d]: omg wtf this sux
  256. [Kel’Thuz4d]: i have a dungeon to run
  257. [Kel’Thuz4d]: pcs are going to be like raiding me and shiz
  258. [theLichKing]: Oh please. The expansion is called "Wrath of the Lich King." It's got my _name_ in it. You don't think a few guilds are going to be farming me as soon as I'm a fightable boss?
  259. [theLichKing]: probably not because i suck so much
  260. [theLichKing]: DAMMIT SYLVANAS
  261. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ok and now my cat is 8fwhwe8ufhffweeexvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
  262. [Kel’Thuz4d]: walking on my keyboard
  263. [Kel’Thuz4d]: hold on afk
  264. [theLichKing]: You have a cat?
  265. [theLichKing]: Seriously?
  266. [theLichKing]: You're a freaking skeleton lord. Why do you have a cat?
  267. [Killzone’jaeden]: Yeah why *do* you have a cat?
  268. [Kel’Thuz4d]: back, had to put the cat out
  269. [Kel’Thuz4d]: and ok
  270. [Kel’Thuz4d]: two things
  271. [Kel’Thuz4d]: first, cats are awesome
  272. [Kel’Thuz4d]: second, RACISM??
  273. [Kel’Thuz4d]: "freaking skeleton lord"
  274. [Killzone’jaeden]: WTF is wrong with you people?
  275. [Kel’Thuz4d]: hey! what do you mean..."you people"
  276. [Killzone’jaeden]: What do YOU mean, "you people"?
  277. [Kel’Thuz4d]: hahahaha
  278. [Killzone’jaeden]: Hahahaha...Tropic Thunder, great movie.
  279. [Killzone’jaeden]: i like to poop
  280. [theLichKing]: ...
  281. [Killzone’jaeden]: Ok that one I actually did not say, that was Sylvanas that time
  282. [theLichKing]: ...
  283. [Killzone’jaeden]: No seriously this time it was her
  284. [Kel’Thuz4d]: "this time"?
  285. [Kel’Thuz4d]: wait so u really do like to wear womens clothes
  286. [theLichKing]: You are, in fact, the prettiest prettiest princess?
  287. [Killzone’jaeden]: No, of course not
  288. [Kel’Thuz4d]: do u have a panty drawer
  289. [Killzone’jaeden]: No! I wear boxers. With thorns on them.
  290. [Killzone’jaeden]: And skulls.
  291. [theLichKing]: Ok were the skulls on the kneecaps YOUR idea then??
  292. [Killzone’jaeden]: Wait what?
  293. [Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah dont change the subject
  294. ***User "SARGERAS" has entered the chat.***
  295. [SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUME ALL HTE WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  296. [SARGERAS]: I AM INVINICBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  297. [SARGERAS]: I AM HTE DARK TITAN!!!111111!1!
  298. [Killzone’jaeden]: oh god
  299. [SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUM ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!1!!!!!!
  300. [theLichKing]: You actually said that already
  301. [Killzone’jaeden]: He spelled it different though.
  302. [Killzone’jaeden]: Dark Lord, there is an issue we need you to resolve
  303. [SARGERAS]: NOTHING CAN DEFET ME BECUASE I AM DEFEAT EVERONE!!!!!!!!!!
  304. [SARGERAS]: I AM SARGERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  305. [SARGERAS]: TEH DARK TIT AN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  306. [Killzone’jaeden]: Right
  307. [Killzone’jaeden]: But what we're going for is
  308. [theLichKing]: Yeah I'm confident he'll be able to resolve this
  309. [Killzone’jaeden]: The Lich King has this complaint...
  310. [SARGERAS]: I AM DESTORYING ALL WORLDS RIGT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  311. [SARGERAS]: i wear little pink girly panties
  312. [Kel’Thuz4d]: omg
  313. [SARGERAS]: WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  314. [theLichKing]: hahahahaha
  315. [Kel’Thuz4d]: pwned
  316. [SARGERAS]: I DID NTO SAY THAT!11111111111111111111
  317. [Kel’Thuz4d]: i dunno about you guys but im kinda turned on right now
  318. [theLichKing]: Rule 34
  319. [SARGERAS]: yeah, you like that, there's more where that came from
  320. [SARGERAS]: *twirls hair seductively*
  321. [SARGERAS]: I DID NOT SYA THAT EITHERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  322. [SARGERAS]: I WILL DESTROY ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  323. [SARGERAS]: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  324. [SARGERAS]: !
  325. [Kel’Thuz4d]: *dies laughing*
  326. [Killzone’jaeden]: Ok I'm done
  327. [Killzone’jaeden]: F this
  328. [Killzone’jaeden]: I'm outta here
  329. [Killzone’jaeden]: I hate Azeroth
  330. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: aw dont go :)
  331. ***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***
  332. [~*`Sylvanas’*~]: byeee~
  333. [SARGERAS]: I USE SUPER ULTIMATE ATTACK FOR EIGHT MILLION POINS!!!!11
  334. [theLichKing]: Hey I think he spelled all the words right in that one
  335. [Kel’Thuz4d]: missed a t
  336. [theLichKing]: Aw, yeah
  337. [theLichKing]: So close
  338. ***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***
  339. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ok im out too
  340. [theLichKing]: Ugh fine
  341. [theLichKing]: TTYL
  342. [Kel’Thuz4d]: ttyl
  343. ***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has left the chat.***
  344. [SARGERAS]: GAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
  345. [theLichKing]: This is the worst chat ever.
  346. [theLichKing]: The worst.
  347. [theLichKing]: The worst.
  348. [theLichKing]: Whatevs, titan dude. I'm done.
  349. [theLichKing]: Still freezing my ass off though.
  350. [theLichKing]: *wrath*
  351. ***User "theLichKing" has left the chat.***
  352. [SARGERAS]: *looks around*
  353. [SARGERAS]: Chat empty?
  354. [SARGERAS]: ...
  355. [SARGERAS]: I have eaten
  356. [SARGERAS]: the plums
  357. [SARGERAS]: that were in
  358. [SARGERAS]: the icebox
  359. [SARGERAS]: and which
  360. [SARGERAS]: you were probably
  361. [SARGERAS]: saving
  362. [SARGERAS]: for breakfast
  363. [SARGERAS]: Forgive me
  364. [SARGERAS]: they were delicious
  365. [SARGERAS]: so sweet
  366. [SARGERAS]: and so cold
  367. [SARGERAS]: ;-)
  368. ***User "SARGERAS" has left the chat.***
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