Thread 58: Stories 61-75

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 >42
"18"
~~

>Hey! Eighteen, where did you go? You missed the... birth...

When she had opened the door, 42 expected certain things.

She expected her friend, 18, of course.

She expected a desk.

She expected that desk to be filled with papers.

And she expected some papers on the wall.

However, in order, she did not expect her friend to be sitting there with dark rings under her eyes, the desk to be propped up against the wall and used as a make-shift step ladder, and for the papers flooding the room to be, of all things, restaurant locations, reviews, and vouchers, and a giant detailed map of both Canterlot and The Empire spread out across the room, with little spots dotting every inch.

>....

"...."

>...It... it was a girl, by the way.

"Oh... yay! So everything went okay?"

>Aside from her Majesty getting a bruise on her head...

"Cool, so... everything went okay! Yay! Good for them! I'll send a fruit basket."

>You.... you do that...

"..."

>...

"...YOU.... SAW... NOTHING."

>...nope.

She slammed the door, and booked it.

>Nope nope nope nope nope nope.....

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>???
“???”
____

He was no better at using the teleporter now than he had been all the other times in the past he’d traversed it.

So when he emerged on the other side, smack-dab in the glittering castle of the Crystal Empire with the tips of his ears on fire, there was no surprise.

What also remained just as obvious was pushing open the door to her office to find it highly reminiscent of a crime scene investigation, complete with a gigantic map of Equestria.

He paused for only a moment, taking in the chaos.

>Hey… hey, Eighteen.

“WAAAH! Wh-who the hell…? Oh! 56! Excellent timing!”

There was no way on not-mom’s enormous ass that his appearance could be considered close to ‘excellent timing’ in any regard.

Nevertheless, he flomped back on his hindquarters, and waited for her explanation.

“You… you’ve been all around in pursuit for the best butt, haven’t you? Yes, of course, I bet you have, everywhere from Ponyville to Canterlot to the kingdom we’re in now… so it stands to reason that you’d have followed a suitable little rear into a fine eatery, riiiiight? Can you recall any of them, any that would seem good on a first date basis type of thing?”

Her mane was frazzled, her right eye seemed to be involuntarily twitching, and it would probably boggle even Twilight’s mind how much time and effort had went into the millions of red dots signifying potential venues.

But regardless.

>Ya might wanna try the Golden Hay in Canterlot. Pretty ritzy without the condescendin’ ‘holier than thou’ atmosphere, ya know? Lots’a comfy plots there.

“…”

18’s head spun back to her map so quick that her neck cracked.

“G-Golden Hoof…? Golden Hoof, Golden Hoof, Golden Hoo- aha! Fifth quadrant, upper right, ninety degrees left of the center! …Well I’ll be damned. I’ve combed this map three times over and yet… how’d I miss this one?”

>...Eighteen? Gotta question.

Had she been paying attention, instead of hastily marking the newly discovered location, 18 would have been somewhat weary of 56’s monotone, or at least wondered why his question sounded hauntingly familiar….

“Question? Sure, sure, what is it? Now if I can just get some reviews stockpiled, see what I’m working with….”

>Why does everyone let Two go ‘round sayin’ marchmalley instead of marshmallow?

Turns out the lack of attention being paid actually allowed 18 to answer without hesitation.

“Because she couldn’t pronounce it when she first heard the word. Question answered! Now then, if you’ll excuse me, 56, I have some-”

>Okay, yeah, I get that, but then if that’s the case, why didn’t anyone like, correct her?

A pause in scribbling notes.

A pair of haggard eyes glanced up, struggling to focus, some attentiveness returning.

“Because it’s cute. It was a cute mishap that stuck. That’s basically trademark Two.”

>Yeah, so’s me an’ butts. Some find that cute, too, but I still get told off about it sometimes. I don’t think anyone’s actually sat her down, pulled out one of them dictionary things and showed her the proper way to say that word.

“Uh-”

>I know, don’t fix what ain’t broke, right? Right. But also, when I first got here and half my chitin was on fire, while I was bein’ doused I heard a few guards badmouthin’ the Canterlot guards. I get they’re from diff’rent roads and stuff but shouldn’t the combined efforts of protectin’ our home trump some’a that? Maybe we should host some friendly rally’s between the lands or somethin’? Give ‘em a reason to try harder and, I dunno, get some friendly competition goin’? Could help….

“Well, er-”

>An’ if Changelings are better received here thanks tuh’ Two, why don’t more of us come over from Canterlot to here an’ give the whole immigration thing another go? Oh, sorry, meant integration. See how I fixed myself there? It’s not cute but I think I sound lil’ better ‘cause of it. I’m just thinkin’, it’d prob’ly help our family to start out in a non-hostile place than where we are now. Not-mom practically lives over here anyway, far away from us….

“…”

All pretense of calling up the manager of Golden Hooves to note their booking procedures was summarily forgotten as 18 stared, aghast, at the little Changeling in front of her.

“Who… what is this? Wh-who are you…?”

She whispered it, still baffled to the point of horror.

>I’m 56! Applejack 56! I just… it suddenly clicked that applebutt wasn’t the only actin’ princess around here, and I felt she deserved a break so I came to you with some questions.

“OH BY THE HIVE NO! NOT HERE NOT TO ME!”

>These coffee-flavored marshmallows really are good… want some?

“NOOOOOO!”

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>Vekir
"Rekulk"
'Sebjek'

>Vekir does not see whyfor everyone is excited!

The small Morlock trots about the moonlit corridors of Canterlot Castle, nose in the air.

>All the attentions and bat-pony only produces a litter of one? Ha! Vekir could do better...later. Much much much later. Maybe not at all. That sounded painful, actually. Yes. Maybe later, maybe not at all, but certainly better than Bat Pony if Vekir decides it...yes.

'What does small Morlock talk of?'

>EEP!

Vekir froze in mid rant as she bumped face-first into the pale blue skin of the other Morlocks chest. Vekir quickly jumped back, blinking up at the curious onlooker.

>Who are you!?

'Sebjek, and you are Vekir, yes?'

>Yes, these are facts...whyfor does Sebjek come to the city of white?

"Sebjek comes because he is learning to be a trader like Rekulk, sister."

>Brother!

With a happy squeak, the small Morlock sprung in to hug the lanky morlock around the neck.

"Glk!"

>Vekir is so happy to see you again! There was much fear after the Cording Steps attacked, but Vekir knew that the head of metal would protect you all and...waiiiiit...were you looking for Vekir?

"Yes, because-"

'Head of Metal decided about you being ambassador.'

>YOU'LL NEVER TAKE VEKIR ALIVE!

The small Morlock, sensing a bad end to this conversation, tried to make a break for it-

"Sebjek!"

-and squeaked as she found herself held in place quite firmly by the apprentice trader's teeth around her tail.

"Sister, the head of metal did not say no!"

>...HURRAH! Vekir is the best at diplomessing!

"However, you are not ambassador."

>...Vekir has much urging to bite something.

"Not yet, you see Vekir...the head of metal has devised...A TEST!"

KRAKABOOM!

>"'EEK!'"

>"'...'"

'Please do not say that again, you will summon the sky rumbling.'

"Weirdness, but yes, a test, Vekir! A test to prove you are worthy of being ambassador."

>Vekir will accomplish this test! This she swears!

'Hurrah!'

>HURRAH!

The small morlock hopped happily out of her captor's grip and raced off to eagerly fulfill her quest!

"Wait-no! ...Sebjek, we didn't tell sister what it was yet! Your hurrah was premeasured!"

'Premature.'

"NOT THE TIME! ...ugh...ok, we shall just have to sleep, I am supposing, she'll realize her mistake soon...Rekulk hopes."

'Hurrah?'

"...hurrah."

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Twilight"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I use these to keep track of days. Now for our main guest...Twilight!!!
Cardboard audience applause as Twilight sits down.

"Pinkie, I didn't agree to come-"

>Yes you did.

~Flashback~
>So I need you all to sign this consent form for my show.
~Present~

"Strange. I can't believe I signed-"

>SO...You're a princess, helped saved ponies from a zombie apocalypse, and just delivered a baby. What are you going to do now?

"For starters, I'm going to-"

>That's our show! If this is on youtube right now make sure to comment, like, and subscribe!

"What?"

>Uh, Spike's eating ice cream for breakfast.

Twilight wakes up.
"Darn it Pinkie...wait...SPIIIIIIKE!"

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~
^Screw you, Twi! I do what I want!.....AHHH ICE CREAM HEADACHE! I was a fool to play God!^

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~~~~~

"MMRrrnngggmmggh!"

"You said it."

The seven bodies were undoubtedly sluggish this fine morning. The glorious sun as raised by Celestia did nothing to bring them any sort of energy, as if their very life itself had been drained in the night by a bat-pony with a hungering for something red and juicy and a poor grasp on biological functions. In short, they were tired.

Very, very tired.

But Equestria waits for no mare!... Or dragon. And as such, the lavender mare at the forefront had to resign herself to slugging down far too hot coffee and just hope that today was going to be easier than a live birth with a henceforth unknown procedure.

Unfortunately, the moment she opened the door, she knew it was not.

She couldn't even pretend to stifle the groan when she spotted him, still sitting in the middle of that room, propped upright in what had to be the most uncomfortable sleeping position in history. Judging by the stiff wince and hiss he let out when he jerked awake, it was at least in the top 10.

"Ah, shoot. Fer'got all 'bout him."

"Holy guacamole dude, did you really sleep here!?"

"Isn't... isn't that bad? Wasn't he in a room with a lot of important documents?"

"It's fine, Flutters. His name's Pommel, he's a guard."

"Still..."

Twilight, ignoring her friends murmuring, let out a slow, sad breath, and gestured for everyone to take their seats.

They did so, most of them now thoroughly curious as to what could be so important that he would go to such lengths. The only other ones in the room who seemed as understanding as the lavender mare was, perhaps unsurprisingly, Applejack and Spike.

With that in mind, they all took their seats, and Twilight politely cleared her throat.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting for so long. You've been away, so I'm not sure if you're up to date on the situation, but Glimmer went into labor-yes, I realize it's early but there was a logical reason due to the recent invasion, please put your hoof down- and I was needed to help deliver the baby-. Sorry, but it's not something we could have postponed, for obvious reason."

He nodded, understanding.

"With that in mind... you may proceed."

Once more he took a deep breath, standing up on wobbly, still quite stiff legs and nodding to each of the Elements in turn.

"A-hem... for those of you who do not know me, my name is Bronze Pommel. In case you don't recognize that, you might know me by my other name, "That dumbass who got eaten by Chitania by literally falling into her mouth". Either one is aptly fit. But that wasn't the end for me. After I got upchucked on a deserted island and a raft... 'helpfully' supplied by my former, er, devourer, I got swept up in something... big."

And so he told them it all, in abridged form of course, of his battles, his near death experiences, everything of that nature. He told them how many times he came close to the edge... and how many times he just barely pulled himself back.

And they listened, to every word.

Until, at last, he returned to present day.

"...I'm going to be honest with you all, right here, and right now. I was at a level of normal, or even slightly below normal, for a guard. I am not special, and I was not capable. But I survived that, all of that, not thanks to my training here, as a guard, but by the time and effort given to me by someone I did not deserve this boon from. If I had not been so lucky as to meet Thirty Two... I would be dead."

His head lowered, suddenly feeling heavy on his shoulders.

"I owe him a lot, more than I could ever pay back. And as such... it hurt more than anything to see him locked up yet again, stuck down in a dungeon yet again, bars surrounding him... yet again."

Desperate, he looked up.

"And I don't want to keep seeing him like that."

Pleadingly, he reached out his hoof.

"So I'm coming to you, six of the most forgiving and wise mares on the planet, and I'm asking you, please, give him a chance. Don't leave him down there to die alone, and away from the light. He's done a lot of good things. He's helped the morlocks dig out of the literal dark age, he's helped me, he's devoted to helping his species. Please, if it's required I'll watch over him every day, look out for him every second, make sure he never does anything like what got him down there ever again. Please... give him a chance."

They all looked to each other. Shocked, touched, amazed, plenty of words to describe all of them.

But the one he cared most about was the look on a single mare. Princess Applejack.

The look... of heartbreak.

"We can't."

Two simple words, that's all she gave him. Nothing more followed in the long silence, nothing more said or elaborated on. "We can't," it's all she gave, and all he could take.

"You... what do you mean you can't!?"

His tone had gone from pleading to sheer, pure desperation in a heartbeat. All his words, all his speeches, they seemed pointless now, wastes of air that tasted foul in his mouth.

"Jus' like Ah' said, we can't let him out, or move him inta' another area, or even give him more freedom. We can't."

It was as if she had suddenly grown size, just like Chitania, and crushed him hard beneath her hoof.

"Why not!? You... you guys forgave Luna, you gave a second chance to Discord, you've... I walked past BLUEBLOOD on the way here! You've been forgiving to everyone who asks it! You can't just... why not him!? Is it because he's a changeling!?"

Rather than be slighted at the implied racism, Applejack just let out a tired, weary breath.

"Ya' know that ain't it."

"Then why!?"

"Cause he didn't go after us, like Luna, or Discord, or Blueblood... he went after Chrysalis."

Harshly, she looked right into his eyes.

"And he tried ta' kill her."

He knew this, of course. Everyone knew this. He'd been told many, many times.

He still hated it.

"As such, she's made it very clear she ain't gonna tolerate him runnin' around hungerin' fer' her head on a platter, and ya' can't really blame her. Guy came at her in the chaos and tried ta' take her out, and it ain't wrong of her ta' want ta' make sure he don't try it again. She wanted him dead, and iffin' Twilight hadn't stepped in she would'a made him dead. Iffin' our part of this, promisin' ta' keep him locked up, falls through, he ain't gonna last, and we ain't gonna have a reason why he should anyway."

"He... it was because of me! He wasn't thinking straight! Look, he just watched his friend die because Chrysalis kept the secret of Chitania from everyone and caused all of this, he clearly wasn't in his right mindset!"

Curtly, Twilight cut in.

"First off, it was me, not Chrysalis, who is responsible for Chitania's release. She has no fault her, and I'm not letting anyone say otherwise. I did that, it's my fault, and that's the end of it. If he wanted to go after the one responsible for your 'death', he would have gone after me."

Her demeanor shifted, growing softer, more understanding.

"And that said... Pommel, you weren't here, so you wouldn't know this, but I was assigned as his... 'psychiatrist' following the event, and after repeated talks with him I assure you he held onto this rhetoric of wishing her dead or maimed for months. No matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise, he locked in on the thought she had to die, and nothing could sway him. I have no reason to believe that he has in any way changed this line of thinking at present day, or that he ever will in the future."

"I... I can talk to him! I can make him stop!"

"Even if you somehow got him to say it, we have no reason to believe he wouldn't be lying for a chance at release. Even then, Chrysalis would simply have to point out that if he's released she is allowed to follow through on her earlier execution, and she'd be in her legal rights to do so. She decreed that before I revealed his crimes against my subjects happened first, and there's no statute of limitations on this. If he got out, then legally Chrysalis would have the right to finish what she started."

Desperation was quickly fizzling out, giving way to something... else.

"This isn't right! How is it she, of all creatures, can say something like that! She invaded us! She nearly took over our entire home! How can she have the nerve to say she deserves better treatment than this!?"

"Pommel!"

The orange hoof had smacked down, snapping him out of his rant.

"We know yer' close ta' the fella, but that's the wrong way ta' go about it."

Sadly, he knew she was right.

"...isn't there anything you can do? This isn't... this isn't fair."

That didn't make the bitterness that swelled up inside of him any easier.

"This isn't fair. Is it just because he's not powerful? If he were a king, would you look the other way? Luna, Discord, even Chrysalis herself... and Chitania. You forgave Chitania, and yet you can't find a way for him? You have to let him die?"

Applejack flinched, hard.

"Ah' pardoned Chitania, Ah' didn't forgive anythin'. And AH' am the one who did it, none of these gals have any part in this. Ah' did it ta' save mah' home, and that's it."

"So, if he had been powerful enough to stop the monsters, you would have forgiven him? Is that it? He just doesn't have superpowers? He's just not 'important enough' to save!?"

Dash was, as always, the fasted to stand up.

"Hey! That's enough!"

He disagreed.

"No! If I can't save my friend then I'm damn sure at least going to call you all out on this! Oh sure, you're all well and fine to look the other way for Luna and Blueblood, because after all, they're related to someone important! Oh sure, you'll look the other way for Discord and Chrysalis, they're powerful, they'd be more trouble to fight! Oh sure, you'll let Chitania loose! Why not!? She has something you needed, so clearly all that destruction she caused is secondary to those muscles you want to use! This is wrong! This is all wrong! It's wrong to regard the powerful as 'needed' and 'forgivable' and then to just let the 'commoners' rot in prison, because clearly they don't have what you want! You want Discord's power, so you forgive what he did to the world. You want Chrysalis's strength, so you forgive her almost taking over the kingdom. But Thirty Two? He has nothing you want. No power, no magic, nothing but the drive to help those who can't help themselves, like me, or the morlocks, and just a desire to leave a legacy! He's nothing to you because he's not 'important', and it's wrong! Everyone deserves a chance, not just the ones who 'matter'!"

He just sat there, glaring at every one of them, fury over-riding his common sense, nothing but anger at the thought his friend would forever remain down in there, alone, until he withered away to nothing. Any other time, he would have thought of other things.

But now, all he saw was a friend in a cage, and that was it.

After a long, punctuated silence, Twilight placed her hooves on the desk, and rose up.

"It's wrong?"

Something about that voice cut through to him finally broke through the haze of anger overtaking him.

He didn't like it.

"You're talking a lot about Thirty Two's rights... but you seem to be forgetting that there's two sides to this story."

Her glance was ever bit as powerful as the beam of light that had destroyed the minotaur so many months ago.

"I ask you... how is it fair if we decide that he be let loose? How is it fair to not just him... but Chrysalis?"

He started to bristle.

Another glance cut him down.

"I know what you're thinking. She's strong. She's powerful. She can handle herself just fine... but you know what? I have evidence to the contrary."

Her hoof slammed down, a first point.

"The invasion of the Crystal Empire. Chitania The end of Partyland. The very event that happened not a few weeks ago. Every single event, she has found herself injured in some fashion. Prime... to be attacked. And Thirty Two has proven, without a doubt... he will be there to strike."

She pointed at him, hard.

"How is it right that we demand she live in fear of that? This... this is what society is built on. This is what you, as a guard, should understand. Our citizens and our allies should not fear being stabbed in their beds. And that is why you coming to us... was wrong."

She gestured around, wide at the others.

"Do you really think WE wouldn't forgive him, if we felt he really meant it? Name one pony in this room who hasn't forgiven an enemy, and I'll let him out right now."

Sadly, even though he didn't know them personally, he felt the jaws of a trap no matter who he pointed at.

"But it's not fair for US to decide that. I locked him up because he hurt Spike and Diamond Tiara. I can forgive that if I feel like he learned and stopped wishing them hurt. I can look the other way."

She slammed her hoof down again, harder.

"But it's wrong for me to try to force that choice on someone else! If Chrysalis fears he will be a threat to her, and he's proven as such, why is it wrong she does not wish him out? How is that her fault? He made his choices, he has to live with them."

He felt himself slumping down, lower, and lower. The weight of reality crushing down on him.

"...It's not our choice. We can forgive him for what he did to us..."

Gently, a magical grip tilted Pommel's chin, letting him look once more to the lavender princess.

"...We can't forgive him in the place of someone else."

Just like that, she let him go.

"...But if Chrysalis said she was willing to give him another chance, if she of everyone said she was willing to take the risk... we would join her. We will let him try again. But nothing less than her own choice, Pommel."

Hopelessness.

The thought there was no possible way out of this was a feeling he was familiar with. One he had faced many, many, many times.

But facing something so many times has it's benefits.

"...Alright then."

If nothing else, he knew that it was often full of lies.

Resolutely, he stood up, and saluted his princesses.

"Thank you for seeing me, and I will take your advice and speak with Queen Chrysalis as soon as possible."

They all shared a look. The same low, pitying look.

"Pommel, you shouldn't waste your time-"

"Good day, and thank you again. I will return soon."

Like the soldier he was, he spun in lock-step, and marched right out the door.

"....If nothin' else, he's got hope."

They all gave each other the same sad, defeatist look.

"...better than nothin', Ah guess..."

Pommel did not share their view.

Pommel had a mission.

And he was going to prove, beyond any doubt, that Thirty Two had indeed made...

The best in the world.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We bring you respite from drama with a heaping dose of COMEDY!
>Applejack
"Pinkie"
'Twilight'
[Dash]
{Fluttershy}
(Rarity)
~Various~
~~~~

>NEXT!

~So, I have problems with dresses.~

(Oh fantastic! I'll handle this one, darling. So, tell me, what is the issue? Fabric not up to standard? Stitching coming unraveled? Tell away!}

~It's just... I'm used to ponies not wearing anything, so... when they put them on...~

(...)

~...It gets hard to walk-~

(NEXT!)

~~~~~~

~So, I was reading this book here, chicken little.~

{Oh, I love that book!}

~Yeah, it's neat, but it brings up a good point.~

[What? It's about the sky falling! The skies not going to fall, dummy!]

~Oh yeah? What happens if someone accidentally flies into the bottom of a cloud house?~

[...]

{...}

~We have carts in the sky. Those would hurt if they dropped something.~

"Tell me about it..."

~What?~

~~~~~~

~My cat is dancing!~

'AWESOME!'

~....~

'Oh, wait, not supposed to do that?'

~...~

'...Fluttershy?'

{I'M SORRY!]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{Fluttershy}
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~Various~
~~~

>NEXT!

~So, is nobody else worried that dragon is going to eat something when he grows up... again?~

^I HAVE A GUN AND I WILL USE IT!^

~Oh yeah, even better! Give the giant monster WEAPONS TRAINING!~

^The only giant monster you should be afraid of is the one that draws in YOUR MOM!~

"SPIKE!"

^NO REGRETS!^

~~~~~

>No, ya' can't grow oranges-

~AH HAH! OPPRESSION!~

>...Ya' can't do it cause the soil is exactly wrong when it's on a dang mountain, ya' idgit.

~...Is the soil oppressing me?~

>NEXT!

~~~~

~Why are fireworks allowed!?~

[RIGHT!?]

'They're fun!'

~They set my house on FIRE!~

'It's for the greater good.'

[PINKIE!]

'THE. GREATER. GOOD.'

~~~~

~What do you mean, fur is illegal!?~

(IT IS!?)

{...}

(Not that *I* would use it...)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pinkie
"AJ"

>And that's why we don't have a navy anymore!

"...what?"

>Too many chapters, AJ, too fucking many.

"...Wait, we had a navy? But... we don't have any coastal towns."

>...Huh... then who's ship did I set fire to?

~~~~

[MY SHIP!]

{Warned you, Rat. Told you the world itself didn't want you to be captain, but nooooo.}

[SHUT THE FUCK UP, DOC!]


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Pennydrop
"Grunt"
~~~~

>...Gods...

She hated that word.

Hated hot it felt on her tongue, hated how it sounded, hated the inflection and even the plural that implied there was more than one. Everything about it. She hated that word. Hated, hated, hated that word.

The only thing she didn't hate about it was how she felt when she thought about it, and she had an infusion in her hoof.

Gods.

They're supposed to be special, decided by fate itself to wield immeasurable power. Beyond herself, any she knew, or anyone. The power to reshape the world.

Magic.

At the end of the day, it was just magic.

She knew magic, she lived in a world of magic. Magic clouds and magic grass. She knew magic.

She didn't know gods.

But she knew she hated that word...

Hated how small it made her feel.

Magic wings to carry you to the skies, magic horns to cast a host of spells, magic claws and magic skin. Everything about the 'gods' was magic.

But it was just magic.

It's just magic.

>...Gods...

"Madam? Chitania is on the move again. We don't know where she's going, but our agents in the field are dropping what they're doing and tailing her."

>Good.

She hated feeling small.

She hated feeling weak.

She hated gods.

...But she did not hate magic.

All it is, is magic.

"And there's another thing. Miss Pennydrop... she looks, well, weak."

>...You don't say...

"Yes Ma'am! Very, from the pictures sent."

>Keep her tailed, and don't make a move without my go ahead.

"Yes ma'am!"

>Dismissed.

No matter how powerful they grow.

No matter how big they seem.

No matter what a 'god' is.

All it is... is magic.

>Magic I will hold myself some day.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{Fluttershy}
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~Various~
~~~

>NEXT!

~Are guns legal? Can I buy one?~

>....Ah'...Ah' guess?

~Neat! So, do I have to take a class, or get a forum, or...~

>...

^I just got handed mine.^

~Isn't that wildly dangerous?... You know what, nevermind, YEEHAW!~

>...Huh....

~~~~~

"No, you cannot experiment on fillies. That's illegal."

~No no no, I asked if I can experience WITH fillies! WITH! It's a big thing!~

"..."

'That's one party even I'm not throwing.'

~~~~

~So is our airforce... alright? Are we doing okay here?~

[NEXT!]

~You didn't... you didn't answer my-~

[NEXTNEXTNEXTNEXTNEXT]

~~~~

~So why are you two Alicorn again? Is this... is this just getting handed out? Can I sign up for this? Okay, I get the student. Works for Celestia for years, got that. I even accepted that one, since she's like focused on paperwork and all that, but what about you two?~

{Um...}

(Lets just say some very powerful beings made very poorly thought out choices and here we are.)

~....~

{N-NEXT!}

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Celestia"
'Luna'
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and saving the thread from falling off is the game. Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!
Roaring applause as Celestia sits down.

"Is that cardboard figure holding up a sign that says praise the sun?"

>Just ignore it. Anyway, so have you had any sisterly bonding time with Princess Luna lately?

"I admit it's hard to spend time with her when we have different sleeping-"

>and that's it for tonight! Join us next time for an exclusive sneak peek at next week's /pa/

"/pa/? Is that some sort of reality show that-"

>Don't worry about it. I'm just being Pinkie. Now if you'll excuse me. I need to go check if my sister Maud is in the Crystal Kingdom. It's so gosh darn easy to forget family sometimes.
Celestia wakes up

'SISTER THOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THESE COLTS AND FILLIES DREAM OF NOWADAYS. Ahem, these new bands that these kids listen to are awful. We are exhausted and think we shall turn in early.'

>...Luna, could you join me in a little breakfast or your version of dinner? Just some time between sisters.

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>PD
"Marketing Exec"
'Head of Security'
-Head of R&D-

To say the atmosphere in the Fawntaine Industries board room was tense may have been a slight understatement. Two heads of the company's three main branches as well as the interim replacement for the other sat nervously across the large oak table from the mare that was doing the one thing all three of them dreaded:

Reading the newspaper.

>...how long?

"Erm..."

>How long have we been in the dark about this? Why did I have to wait until the Bug Monster Daily Journal could tell it to me? Please, someone enlighten me.

The head of security, a dusty brown pegasus by the name of Sidewinder, cleared his throat.

'We believe that the Bullsheviks engaged some kind of covert purge of informants in the country, both public and private. I haven't heard from any of my boys we had posing as mercs, and you'll note that this Trenderhoof dickhead seemed to be a target of interest by the bots-

Pennydrop glared at the pegasus.

'Er, droids that the Bullsheviks turned on the populace.'

>These...stupid motherfuckers...these STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU!

Pennydrop glared at the Marketing Executive, who wilted under her gaze.

>Where the fuck is Eddie?

"E-Eddie?"

>Eddie Burneighs, your superior, the guy we sent to that third world hell hole to make sure this exact FUCKING thing didn't happen!

"We're uhm-well, we're-"

'We're putting out what feelers we can right now, ma'am. Our problem is that the Bullshevik regime is proving...less than cooperative.'

>Of course they're not cooperating, they just used our Faustdamn droids to perpetrate a massacre!

'If I may, ma'am, I believe you'll notice a certain an event of interest in the article. Apparently when the Hooviets move in to counterattack and retake the city, there's mention of them using element-based attacks to subdue the droids, particularly lighting emanating from the hoof.'

>Infusions.

'And, if Mr. Bottomline here would be so kind as to bring up the shipping manifest I had him dig up-'

With a nudge from Sidewinder, the nervous marketing exec did as told, sliding the manifest towards the pegasus.

'I'm noticing several crates worth of our top of the line combat infusions being sent to Stalliongrad a few weeks after Mr. Burneighs arrival, on Mr. Buneighs' order. Coupled with what's in the article, I believe our dear head of Marketing was attempting to put an end to our Bullshevik headache on the sly by having the Hooviets sucker punch them with the infusions. I don't think he was counting on them having to be used so soon.'

PD steepled her hooves, her eyes narrowing.

>No bullshit, is he dead?

'Not necessarily, it's possible the Bullsheviks will hang onto him as a bargaining chip to keep us from striking against them...provided he IS worth that much.'

PD's face was grim, her teeth gritted together. Finally she sighed and placed her hooves on the table. She spoke in turn...

>You, Bottomline, get to work reopening Stalliongrad as a market, make it clear that Burneighs was acting on his own and that we are willing to begin selling them our top of the line droids in exchange for letting nobody know of his indiscretions. Sidewinder, I want you to start putting together a team. I can't explain for what just yet, but I need the best from our own specialists and anyone working freelance out there-

'With the new influx of unemployed guards, that shouldn't be too hard.'

>-and you...

Pennydrop's look turned to the elderly earth pony that had been keeping silent for the entirety of the meeting.

>Redouble your work on the...what did you call it?

-Ogre, we call it the Ogre.-

>I want it before the month is out, with all the bells and whistles.

-May I ask why the sudden interest?-

>We'll be needing a gift of good faith with our new friends, and I intend for them to see what our friendship can bring.

KRAKABOOM!

>...Faust damn it.

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>29
"???"
~~~~

You'd think that, of anyone, the lazy changeling known as 29 would be fairly far from being a 'morning person'. And normally, he was.

However, this one? He practically danced in the castle room, filled with a waft of energy from what he learned of last nights events, events that had unfolded long after he had gone to bed.

>Oh joyous day, oh pious morn that shines upon this life! A new birth unto this world has arrived, a life from on high brought unto this plain by a union of twixt souls wrapped in twain. Rejoice! To the birds and beasts of the lands, rejoice! Sing with me unto this sound, the cry of a newborn life in the grasp of this mortal realm! To you I say, rejoice! To he I say, rejoice! To she and they and all between, rejoice! Let loose the cheer in thine heart!

"YAY!"

>...GAHHHHHHHHH!

"But you said to cheer!"

The posh changeling paid no mind to her almost hurt tone.

Instead, he chose to bolt right to the door, and began pulling on it with everything he had.

The Spider-ling hanging from the ceiling despondently rubbed her hooves, saddened.

"I'm sorry for spooking you! I'm sorry! I like it when you talk like that, really! Momma used to loooove plays where they talked like that, even!"

>I'M AWARE!

She paused her despondent rubbing, eyes flickering up filled with a curious glint.

"You... you are?"

>YES! I KNOW SHE LIKED NIEGHSPEAR AND LISTENING TO BEETHOOVEN!

"...Really!? Wait, who's-"

>THE SYMPHONY WITH THE CRESCENDO IN ACT THREE!

"...What?"

>Ugh... the one that was mostly piano!

"OH! I remember that one! That one had the ponies with a fiddle, right?"

>IT IS CALLED A VIOLIN!

"I like fiddle. It sounds funny to say.... fiddle... fiddlededoo, fiddledodeee! Fiddle fiddle fiddle fiddle!"

>STOP IT!

"Okay."

She watched as he continued to pull, jerk, and at several points gnaw on the doorknob to no avail.

"....Sooooo... did you and momma ever meet?"

>YES! AND THINE NIGHTMARES STILL HAUNT ME TO THIS DAY!

"She probably wasn't that bad!"

He froze. Outright froze, and slowly turned to her.

"...Okay, maybe a LITTLE."

He gave naught but a glare, and returned to pulling.

"I'm serious! You're alive, right? So it couldn't be all that bad!"

>...

"I'm serious!"

>DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME!

She stopped mid-skitter, freezing atop the ceiling as he pointed horrified at her, hoof still jerking on the doorknob.

>I have seen the depravity in thine mothers soul, the very core of the beast known as Sciderella! She held a mind quite quick, tis true, but above that mind was pure EEEEVVVILLL! EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL! THOU CANNOT BE ANY DIFFERENT!

"...why not?"

He did not know why this gave him pause. It was a simple question, really, no matter how quietly spoken and gentle it seemed.

"Why do I have to be like her?"

>Because... because... thou art her spawn! The next in line to a most twisted of legacies! How could thou have not been trained in thine dark and twisted ways!

"I mean... she tried to show me it, but I kept throwing up. I tried not to, cause I know it made her upset when she saw it, but I did... I just kept throwing up, and she would get mad, and then she'd run off and not come back till she calmed down. But she never... she wasn't that bad."

He paused, the rattling slowing just a bit.

"I dunno what you saw or what she did, but... I didn't do it. Why're you mad at me?"

A little more, and a little more.

"I didn't do it..."

Finally, he stopped. The two sat in silence, long and cold, after that.

"...Y-you're supposed to push it."

A brief bout of confusion followed her words.

Followed, eventually, by a realization, and a door being pushed open.

>Oh... oh...

He remained there briefly, unmoving and untwitching.

>...Thanks.

With that, he left.

He did not run, he did not race, he simply left.

Even though he walked away from her, little Arana did not feel bad.

"...It's a start!"

A small step it may be, but it was a step all the same.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Chrysalis is out in front of 10 going

>"I NEED YOU TO DO AN ARTICLE ON CADENCE SAYING IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BONE SHINY!"

{I feel like that would discredit my journalistic integrity...}

>"FUCK YOU! NEXT TIME I'M SETTING FIRE TO YOUR ASS!"

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