Space Funeral: The Legend of Earth Birth Text Dump

-SPACE FUNERAL: THE LEGEND OF EARTH BIRTH DIALOGUE DUMP-

This won't include database stuff, only in the actual areas. Also, Pastebin's filters are pretty heavy, so I had to censor a few swear words to get this published. Alright, I shall start now.

Got twenty-five Rubles! All right!
Eat your greens.
Your mother and I think you should leave.
Take a rest. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You feel better but not much.
HA HA HA! There is a wizard on that cliff... But it's too late for you!
I hear there's lots of BLOOD in the BLOOD CAVERN.
BLOOD CAVERN is to the NORTH. It is full of DREADFUL THINGS.
I am MUSCLE HEDONIST. Do you have what it takes to be champ?! Want to learn some combat tips? Let's go! [Yes/No] [Yes]: Don't be afraid to use STATUS CONDITIONS! "DISTRACT" enemies by juggling or singing a song to make them unable to use intellect skills. If an enemy becomes "SPOOKED" then they may become slower and have less defence . . . If you use "MORAL" skills on an enemy, they may take a temporary vow of pacifism and refuse to attack! Listen to what I have to say . . . My muscles grant me happiness!
I am WISE MUSCLE. Don't listen to that other guy! Listen to my song! [Yes/No] [Yes]: Okay! Sometimes you may find SPECIAL ITEMS which can make or break a battle! They will inflict large damage on the right type of foe. CRIMINALS are a cowardly and superstitious lot! They are weak against BIBLES! ANIMALS are easily confused! You can throw them off with MAGIC EYE PICTURES! GHOSTS are very sentimental! They are easily affected by OLD MOVIES. I've heard of a mysterious item called PURPLE DRANK. Who knows what it does? Listen to my words . . . My brain's the biggest muscle of all!
I am SECRETIVE MUSCLE! I know much but say little! The MYSTERY command can be used once per battle! It might make MYSTERIOUS THINGS happen . . .
I am the Wizard of Scum Vullage.  What? No, it's too late for you. It is said there is one PERFECT CITY. A divine construct from which derives all things in this world. All things are manifestations of this one thing. All cities are aspects of the city. But it has been corrupted! You are already doomed. WIZARD GRUM lives in the BLOOD CAVERN. He is your only hope of finding this city and restoring the world. The road to the BLOOD CAVERN is dangerous. You'd better find a weapon! There are some interesting things in the BONE SWAMP to the EAST of town . . .
It's important to obey all the rules. Think about it!
I hear the LION VILLAGE will pay a lot of rubles for OLD STEAK... But you didn't hear it from me!
Good grief! Good grief!
Bring swift DOOM upon our ENEMIES.
Your MEATY STALLION spurts BLOOD. What a lucky fellow.
The land of EARTH BIRTH depends on the PHILLIP.
It took many BLOODS and DEVILS to build this circle.
BLUMBURG is to the SOUTH. It is a pleasant little town with lots of BLOOD.
IT has worked. IT has arrived. Our SATANIC RITUALS were a SUCCESS. The PHILLIP that defeated MOON has been SUMMONED! Us BLUMBURG WIZARDS welcome the PHILLIP to the land of EARTH BIRTH. We have summoned you to go on a PERILOUS JOURNEY. Your MEATY STALLION companion is waiting for you in BLUMBURG.
What do you think you're doing, sir. You aren't leaving without HOCK STEED are you? Go to your room this instant.
They call the field ahead the PLANE OF EYES, but no one can SEE why... HE HE HE
EARTH BIRTH is a land of traditions, like HARD WORK, PERSERVERANCE, and WITCH BURNINGS.
BLUMBURG is a nice little town, but there's not enough MILK for a starving artist such as myself.
Watch out for LAB EXPERIMENTS and LIBERTARIANS in the wild!!
SCIENCE is destroying our FAMILY VALUES.
Welcome to BLUMBURG. We hope you enjoy your stay and SUFFER AN AGONIZING DEMISE.
Your face is... implausible.
Knives are fun, easy, and make great gifts for children!
GROOOOOAAAARRRRR
Our TRIBAL LEADER lives in this ANCESTRIAL BLUMBURG HUT.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . OH NO, NOT AGAIN. Preach, brother.
Good luck and bring SUFFERING on your quest!
OH! So you are the PHILLIP who the WIZARDS summoned! I have explained the situation to sir LEG HORSE. What kept you, peasant!? We must make haste! EARTH BIRTH has been corrupted by the powers of SCIENCE. Sniveling puke! I should flay you where you stand for this delay! LEG HORSE joined the team. You must head SOUTH through to the city of LIVER FAILURE and consult the ANCIENT MYSTICS on how to defeat SCIENCE.
GRAAARRR!! I, the LONE MUSCLE HEDONIST, have forged this SERENE LOCATION out of the fractured remains of my pathetic enemies! I will teach you how to MAKE WAR. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Crafting WAR is easy if you know how to exploit the weaknesses of PITIFUL WEAKLINGS. ROBOTS are pathetic. They are weak against MAGNETS. The pull of a mighty MAGNET will tear their feeble circuitry asunder! LAB EXPERIMENTS are truly wretched. Seeing their own reflection through a MIRROR is enough to send them into everlasting sorrow! And of course, LIBERTARIANS are helpless against NUMBERS for obvious reasons. [No]: Have it your way... HOPE YOU DIE.
Get in the casket. Don't keep the mourners waiting. This is what we pay you for.
Why do the young always die good?
He was an upstanding lad. So pure hearted... so sweet... so very, very sweet... he was delicious.
WUFFLE WUFFLE! Shimmied the GOLDEN RETRIEVER into your INVENTORY!
They say that LIBERTARIANS were once men before they left society to live in the wilderness. SHHHHH... it's a secret, big boy.
URP... Don't... go to LIVER FAILURE... ugh... my TUMMY hurts... Just trust me on this...
We SHADES OF DOUBT consume all who disagree with the mighty laws of SCIENCE.
It's too late for you. You for late It's. You're too late for it's. You're too late for Liver Failure. HE HE HE
You're talking to me. You're talking to me? Don't you even realize what that implies? ...It's probably not important anyway.
Got Heavy Boots! Woopie!
Got Junkyard Knife!
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. That's kind of sad.
Got Big Blood!
We were the ANCIENT MYSTICS of LIVER FAILURE, but we're gone now. We were fools... drunk on the power of SCIENCE we forgot our CHIVALRY and MOB MENTALITY. Now we rule nothing. Our ANCIENT HISTORY has been lost. If you want to destroy SCIENCE once and for all and maybe a few times after that, quest beyond the DUBSTEP FOREST. There is an object, called The 256. It is guarded by a DREADFUL MONSTER, but it is the only thing that can put an end to SCIENCE.
The RESIDENTS of LIVER FAILURE have left to become one with SCIENCE. It is too late for them.
One by one the residents of LIVER FAILURE succumbed to the SCIENCE. We tried to amputate the INFECTION by sending them to the MOONBASE. Yet they comtinue to SCIENCE and send EXPERIMENTS to EARTHBIRTH. EARTH BIRTH is done for... HAHA... a toast to its AGONIZING DEMISE. It's too late for you. Uoy rof etal oot s'it. Too late. Too lake. Lake of your own blood. Blood. Blood blood blood blood blood
GRR.... ROOOOAHHHH
YEAH!!! WOO-HOO! Turn up that sweet ass DUBSTEP!
STEP up that DUB.
How many NEON TONGUES do YOU have!?
Got Dubstep Venom!
Got NEON TONGUE!
They say that NEON TONGUES are valuable on the black market for their MYSTERIOUS PROPERTIES.
Wrong way! You will be DUBSTEP soon.
Join us. Become DUBSTEP. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Yes... hear that stutter? That's your HEART. Soon you will feel the icy claws of DUBSTEP tearing its way through your mind and soul... SLEEP, my child... the pain will all be over soon... you shall ascend the DUBSTAIRS into heaven... [No]: You can run, but the BASS will drop for you some day...
We call that one BIG MAMA FLOAT. She produces the best DUBSTEP VENOM in all of EARTH BIRTH!
Anyone who witnesses a DUBSTEP will become a DUBSTEP. It's too late for you.
WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
Drop that BASS! Drop it like it's BLOOD!
The trees of the DUBSTEP FOREST need lots of BLOOD to get their RAD COLORS. How much BLOOD are you?
Us GRINNING FACES have a rich history of DUBSTEP and MURDER.
BLURBSTEP
pugstep
SKUBSKEP
I'm hiding but you can't escape DUBSTEP.
DUBSTEP demands more BLOOD.
BLOODSTEP
Will you be BLOOD for our DUBSTEP? Pretty please?
If you could only say one thing over and over again, what would you say?
As a LAWYER, I know over 600 ways to KILL A MAN.
Got Fat Doobie!
Oh, sweet MARY JANE... uh... I'm talking about my sister.
No ILLEGAL ACTIVITY here!
We're not doing anything SUSPICIOUS! Just growing good ol' wholesome TOMATO PLANTS! Yep!
No need to FEAR of me. I am simply the REMORSELESS SPECTRE who haunts the GIANT JAMAICAN BANANAS.
HEH heEH hEh... Woahhhhhhhhh
WAKE and BAKE!!
[Hello again Dracula]: Haha! Yes! Hello friend! Velcome to my SUMMERHOME! [Nice bananas Dracula]: Yes! Fank you! My GIANT JAMAICAN BANANA collection is BLOSSOMING! I haff spent the years accumulating them! [Sure you don't mean "fangks"?]: Ha ha! Wonderful! DRACULA fangks you for this delightful play on words! [Let's toke it up Dracula]: Ha ha ha ha! Yes! I am DRACULA! DRACULA gave you a FAT DOOBIE. You LIGHT IT UP. Mmmm. Real smooth. [Wait]: Hm? [Are you the monster?]: [The one guarding The 256?]: Oh? No! I haff The 420. No 256 to be found! Frequent mistake. I do know a FELLOW who knows about fings like your 256. He is VEGETABLES and lives in GANGRENE. [Well I gotta go Dracula]: Yes! Understood! We will meet again! And remember... excitate et furniare!
We will meet again! And remember... excitate et furniare!
The DUBSTEP in the DUBSTEP FOREST is simply RADICAL!
WEED is the only thing that dulls my ENDLESS LOATHING for the world.
Got High! Feels GROOVY.
WEED really inspires the ART. Except sometimes you WEED too much and the ART never happens. Such is life for an arting starvist like myself. Got any MILK? I hear there is a plant called MILKWEED. It sounds like a dream. Ehehehe
I'm a drug addict! Got any NEON TONGUES?
We CORPSES are simple folk. That's why we obey all of our MAYOR'S COMMANDS.
My HOUSE won't let me back in.
No.
We CORPSES farm PRISMATIC MILLIPEDES for their MILK.
Welcome to FILTH! Can I take your order?
Don't touch me, I'm HOT HOT HOT!
Help.
WILD SIRLOINS roam the wilderness between FILTH and the DESPAIR DOCKS. I hear that a city called MALICE domesticated SIRLOINS into STEAKS... ridiculous!
.........................SNARL..................................
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . SCIENTISTS CANNOT BE TRUSTED. You prefer to get to know someone better before judging them, thanks.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . THERE IS A CRYPTIC MESSAGE IN THE SIRLOIN PLAINS. WHO KNOWS WHAT IT COULD MEAN? Who knows?
I am a DRUG DEALER. Suppy me with NEON TONGUES. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Don't waste my time!! [No]: Then SUFFER and DIE elsewhere!
I am a DRUG DEALER. Suppy me with NEON TONGUES. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Thank you very much, WORTHLESS SCUM! Here are your RUBLES! [No]: Then SUFFER and DIE elsewhere!
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . I WANT MY F*CKING MONEY, DENNY! How rude.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . DON'T EAT THE GOLDEN RETRIEVERS! TO THE RIGHT PERSON, THEY COULD BE WORTH A WHOLE WORLD. That's odd.
I will trade you something SPECIAL for some MILK. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You have NONE!! Get out before I flay ye!!! [No]: Then be gone!!
I will trade you something SPECIAL for some MILK. [Yes/No] [Yes]: AW YES!! MILK!! Here's your promised COOL THING. The CANCER shimmied a GOLDEN RETRIEVER into your inventory. [No]: Then be gone!!
I love MILK!
GOSH DARNIT! My house has got INTERNAL BLEEDING again!
They say that the only way to GANGRENE is through THE BIG RANCH... but you didn't hear it from me, sugartits.
No SOLICITORS in the morgue!
Who DOES your HAIR!?!??!
Hey!! Occupied!!
Go find your own COFFIN!
You know what makes me REALLY SICK? When people who have NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE TO SAY but talk anyway.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I died of SPONTANIOUS COMBUSTION. What's your story, kiddo?
Get out.
Got Silver Skull!
Got Feathered Hat!
Got Macaroni Art! ...Nah, better put this one back. A man's gotta have standards.
TAKE OUR CHESTS! Just spare our PITIFUL LIVES.
They say there is a mysterious place called CANNABIS FIELDS near here, but no one has ever found it... how MYSTERIOUS!
Got Mild Restorative!
Got Negative 100 Rubles! Wait, that's not a good thing.
Got Poisonous Helmet!
The MAYOR is out right now. I'm afraid you're going to have to LEAVE OR DIE. Don't TOUCH anything. Especially not anything ODD looking.
Gosh darnit. I told you not to touch anything.
There is a SWITCH inside the decapitated FISH HEAD. Press it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: Are you sure? It's probably not important. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You pressed the SWITCH. Egads! It opened a SECRET STAIRWAY! Who woulda thought?
We are finding out if CORPSES can function without a BRAIN.
We are OBSERVING SPECIMENS for SCIENCE.
Cleanup in AISLE FOUR!
Your LEGGY HORSE companion! I have never seen one like it! Can I TOUCH him? Unhand the great LEG HORSE, peasant!
I am being scientific right now. Leave me alone, plebian.
Learning is FUN! KNOWLEDGE is POWER! But POWER corrupts... does this make me evil???
PHILLIP... what is the meaning of this place!? I sense something DARK and SINISTER... almost... SCIENCY... we should tread carefully.
There are lots of NUMBERS and GLOWING THINGS when you do SCIENCE.
We are SCIENTISTS! We do SCIENCE regardless of morals!
We're testing INVISIBLE DEATH SERUM in this room, but we spilled it all over the floor... oops... One touch and bam! DEATH smothers you in her tender embrace.
Hello FRIEND! I am TRUSTWORTHY SCIENTIST! I will sell you a SERUM that TOTALLY WON'T KILL YOU! But instead, it will make you RIPPED! You will have abs that CRUSH your enemies! It's only 100 RUBLES! [Yes/No] [Yes]: Let me just INJECT IT into your FEEBLE FLESH... ah... there! Heheh! I LIED! You are now DEAD! You FOOLS! [No]: Then ASPHYXIATE and DIE!
Gasp! I knew this could only be YOUR vile work! Well, howdy pardner. It's been a while. Yes... not since THE WAR. Unfortunately for you, I have ascended to MAYOR. You cannot possibly hope to defeat me with the powers I now possess! COME AT ME! I swear by my GOLDEN MULLET that you shall perish in AGONY! Father... you have been avenged... Come on, PHILLIP. Let's go.
Aha! Inside the chest is the stairway to DESPAIR DOCKS. There is NO RETURN. Jump into the chest? [Yes/No] [Yes]: You step into the chest. It's roomier than previously thought.
I am BLIND KNIGHT! Please go on, AQUAMAN'S MINION! Your CONTACT from the BILE VOLCANO is waiting for you in GANGRENE!
Nothing good ever comes of entering caves... sigh... why even bother? It's a bad idea to look for SECRETS. They were kept from you for a reason.
Ah, you must be LORD AQUAMAN'S UNDERLING that he's sending to GANGRENE. I can take you across the river, but there will be NO RETURN. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Arr, okie dokie! Let's set sails! Shiver me tumbles!
We SHADES OF DOUBT consume all who disagree with the mighty laws of SCIENCE.
SOON...
Everyone laughs the same. Not me though, ahuahuahua.
FAITH keeps us out of GANGRENE... for now... KEHEHEHEHEHEHE...
PSST... hey there big boy, I have a SECRET for you. Would you like to HEAR? [Yes/No] [Yes]: If you EAT A BALANCED DIET you will be healthier... but keep it between us, bad boy.
GURGLE... oh... I think I got FOOD POISONING and PARASITES from eating the MEAT in the MEAT MARSH...
I'm so close to GANGRENE I can SMELL it!
Good grief! This place smells like THE ROTTING CARCASS OF A WHALE.
LIVER is full of healthy IRON your body needs. Can I consume YOURS?
I am betraying LORD VEGETABLES in favor of SCIENCE... don't tell my mama!!
We ain't buyin' any.
SCIENCE will never defeat the power of VEGETABLES. He has DARK ELDER GODS on his side!
Don't interrupt me while I am eating these TASTY LOGARITHMS.
This marsh is significantly meatier than MALICE. I am NOT PLEASED by the HUMIDITY and ROTTING FLESH.
The BEATING of the HEART TREES soothes my OLD BONES and fills me with SATANIC POWER.
GANGRENE is such a nice city. It's a shame SCIENCE has DOOMED US ALL.
GANGRENE is a fantastic city! DARK POWERS granted by ELDER GODS shield us from SCIENCE!
Don't you think that it's kind of weird that everyone YELLS IMPORTANT THINGS?
I am on a LION PILGRIMAGE. Juvenile LIONS must undergo a sacred journey to the MEAT MARSH before being able to get their DRIVER'S LISCENSE.
Everyone seems to know but you. Ehehehe.
My MIGHTY JAWS serve me well in DISMEMBERING MY ENEMIES!
Fancy that, a door-to-door salesman! Sir, would you like to hear about the LORD?
Oh... the MEAT MARSH is ahead... from there you can get to many HORRID PLACES...
I have bowel problems from eating too much PINEAPPLE.
I hear there's lots of MEAT in the MEAT MARSH. But I could be wrong.
No one's home!
PSST... I'm the DOORMAN... they call me that because secretly, I'm really a door! Would you like to hear a SECRET? [Yes/No] [Yes]: That's great little buddy, I would too! It's nice to know folks still appreciate good old fashioned SECRETS. [No]: That's a shame! Come back if you need anything!
They say OUR LEADER hides in secrecy right under our NOSES...
Don't you DARE make eyes at my BOYFRIEND, you dirty TRAMP.
I have a MIGHTY HUNGER for SCABS.
Epic wins, my good sir!
WRRrr.... ROOHHH...
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP! That makes sense.
Have you seen my LITTLE DOG? ...he's been dead for YEARS.
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . MURDER 8 IS TO THE WEST. BILE VOLCANO IS TO THE NORTH. SECRETS CAN BE FOUND TO THE SOUTH. That was pretty straightforward.
I only read LITERATURE approved by HIGH PRIEST VEGETABLES.
They say LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS, but I'm not sure what that means... do you know what it means, hot shot? *wink*
Learning is GREAT FUN!
WUFFLE WUFFLE
GOLDEN RETRIEVERS ARE SUPREME. SURRENDER YOUR RETRIEVERS TO ME. SOON I WILL HAVE ALL THE RETRIEVERS ON THIS FEEBLE PLANET. MY COLLECTION IS NEARLY COMPLETE. BRING ME THE REST OR SUFFER.
GOLDEN RETRIEVERS ARE SUPREME. SURRENDER YOUR RETRIEVERS TO ME. SOON I WILL HAVE ALL THE RETRIEVERS ON THIS FEEBLE PLANET. GIVE ME YOUR RETRIEVERS!! [Yes/No] [Yes]: YOUR TRIBUTE PLEASES ME. MY HOME SWELLS WITH RETRIEVERS. THERE ARE SO MANY. A NEW UNIVERSE WILL BE BORN. A UNIVERSE OF ONLY RETRIEVERS...
THANK YOU. THE RETRIEVERS ARE PLEASED. I TOO AM PLEASED.
Greetings. I am the ETERNAL GOLDIE. Take my hand and we will roam with retrievers. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Close thine eyes and think of dogs...
I don't see what the big deal is about CANNIBALISM.
Welcome to the BUTCHER SHOP!
I don't need anything in my home but this GREAT IDOL gifted to me by OUR LEADER... Don't disturb my WORSHIP.
No solicitors. We don't want your kind here. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pa ha ha! I was just yanking your chain, so to speak. Please. Do come in.
Greetings. I am VEGETABLES. I am the puppet master of this town. Don't you dare thwart me. I'll send ANGELS for you. Don't say a word, my good sirs. I know exactly what you seek. But before we get down to business, I require you to complete an INANE TASK. You must bring me the STILL BEATING HEART of THE BEING OF PURE EYES that dwells in MURDER 8 so that I may feast upon it. If you manage not to DIE HORRIBLY,  I will grant you that which is sought by ye. Happy trails!
CHOMP... CHOMP... CHEW... CHEW... Yes, that was VERY GOOD. Nothing's better than a HAPPY, HEALTHY HEART on a warm afternoon. *chirrrrp* SMACK... SLURP... CHEW... As for your precious 256... It lays within the WOMB OF CREATION, which is just next door, actually. Now go. Defeat SCIENCE. NIC CAGE smiles upon your quest. You can do no wrong.
NIC CAGE smiles upon your quest. You can do no wrong.
Got Zorg Cannon!
HEAD EAST TO THE BLOOD SEA... NORTHERNWARDS IS THE BILE VOLCANO... AWROOOOOOOOOO
Got Bigger Blood!
Wooooo!!! I am the ghost of this bridge!! I only let those who bear PROOF of their EDUCATION through here!! WoooOOooOOooOooo!! Stay in school!!
WoooOOoooOO! Your REPORT CARD proves your HIGHSCHOOL EDUCATION! Wooooooo! You may pass!! But next semester you might want to bring up that GEOMETRY grade, young man! And with that, I pass on, leaving no regrets on this earth! That is the way of the schooling specter... peace out and see you next fall...
This bridge has been ALWAYS BURNING since the WORLD'S BEEN TURNING.
A SLEEPY STEAK sleeps here. Better find another way around.
... Hello... I guess... I'm... a brewer of MOONSHINE... Take a look around... or not... Thanks for stopping by... I guess... I only brew with the highest quality BLOOD and MERCURY... come again... if you feel like it...
Don't touch that SKULL TOTEM. It reminds me too much of my FATHER.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT!! FAAAAAATHER!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! I TOLD THEM NOT TO DO IT! I TOLD THEM NOT TO TOUCH YOU! FATHER WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME!! FAAAAAAAAAATHERRRR!!!!
Even a KNIGHT needs some SUN AND SAND! Just watch out for vicious CORPSE SEALS!
The BLOOD SEA is actually a man-made sea! VEGETABLES dumps the HEATHENS here and their blood creates a wonderful GETAWAY for all his followers! What a swell guy!
SCRAM! I'm trying to do TAXES!
The smell of the CARCASS PILES is making me ILL.
AHH! A day spent at the BLOOD BEACH is so refreshing!
GREETING AND WELCOME TO BLOOD SEA
MURDER 8 has great SHOPPING MALLS!
BEWARE the voracious CORPSE SEALS!
Take a rest. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You feel better but a little sunburnt.
Yarr... I'm giving my THIRD MATE a traditional BURIAL AT SEA... When will the CARNGAGE end? Booobooobooo
Do you DIVE OFF the DIVING BOARD?
Every time someone goes missing, another pair of eyes blinks out of the darkness... kinda spooky huh?
Welcome to the MURDER 8 mall! It is the proud symbol of our CONSUMERIST CULTURE and MAN'S HUBRIS!
I'm a LAND PIRATE! I get SEASICK if I leave land!
Ever been SWIMMING, punk?
Welcome to MURDER 8, home of the SECRET UNDERGROUND RESISTENCE.
I am NAPPING KNIGHT! Don't f*ck with me, little man!
The RESISTANCE is corrupt! The only answer is to form a RESISTANCE to resist the RESISTANCE!
HOARDING USELESS SH*T is great fun! I just wish the mall sold more WORTHLESS GARBAGE.
RRRR
I'm being held against my will! Oh dear!
I imported my pets from MALICE! Aren't they just DARLING? [Yes/No] [Yes]: Ohohoho! Now there's a boy who knows QUALITY PETSLAVES when he sees them! Here, have one of GRANDMA'S COOKIES. Got GOLDEN RETRIEVER! [No]: Oh, that's quite alright dear. Different people like different things, so DROP DEAD. Got NOOSE! It looks a little snug.
My pets are just daaaaaarling!!
Got Golden Skull!
Welcome to the REFUGEE PIT, home of the SECRET RESISTENCE! Enjoy your stay!
I'm mad as hell and I'm going to END IT ALL.
VEGETABLES killed my family. My SON was only a young POLTERGEIST... *sniff sniff...* Oh, the HUMANITY!
Alliance with the dark powers of SCIENCE is vital to overthrow VEGETABLES.
Why was I thrown out of GANGRENE!? All I did was make a little SCIENCE...
VEGETABLES is a scoundrel! I had a nice following going before he elbowed me out of the BLOODCULT SCENE! This is an unlawful monopoly!
VEGETABLE'S SINISTER WAYS make me SICK.
Why bother fighting it... I might as well become one with SCIENCE at this point...
Where am I and who are these people?! What happened to the MYSTERIOUS FOREST? I guess it's.... a mystery! *ba dum tish*
It's a MYSTERIOUS LETTER. Open it? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It says . . . TO FIND EYES, USE YOUR EYES TO WATCH THE EYES ON THE FIFTH FLOOR. That's cryptic.
Welcome to the MURDER 8 MALL. I hope you don't suffer too much TORMENT.
GRRR.
RUHHH.
...
RRR... RUH... RUHIIIINNGGG...
There is a SECRET DOOR. Enter?
Jump into the hole?
Push the STEAK in the hole? [Yes/No] [Yes]: You feel kinda bad but not that bad.
Welcome PITIFUL FOOLS. I am THE BEING OF PURE EYES. My name is CINDY. It is from this pit that I rule over the arcane powers of EYES and CONSUMERISM. *smirk* And what is it that you and the FAT ONE have come for, puny HORSIE? *wry smile* My gaze can pierce your LIVER and you will DIE WHERE YOU STAND. You have no HOPE. *grins* We'll see about that!! Come PHILLIP, we'll rip out this slime's STILL BEATING HEART if it's the second to last thing we do! You are UNWORTHY of my HEART! I shall TEST YOU!! *smirk* WAIT, no, I wasn't ready that time. I'll test you again! *grimace* I see you are truly WORTHY. Here. Take my precious ORGAN. *smile* Got the BEING'S STILL BEATING HEART! It's full of nutricious CHOLESTERAL and LIQUID NITROGEN! Now... I will send you back to the SURFACE... have fun boys. Good luck on your quest. If I ever see you again I will surely KILL YOU. And don't forget... If you are ever in need of PRODUCTS, comsume them at the EYE MALL. *winks and gives saucy grin*
I was once NAPPING KNIGHT! Now that I am no longer napping I have lost my identity and learned COMPASSION and HUMILITY.
I am the WIZARD AYAHUASCA. That which you seek is WITHIN YOU. I can help you if you let me EAT YOUR MEAT. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Mmm... gobble gobble... smack... rip... delicious... so tender... so well seasoned... plump and bountiful... oh, might I have a bite MORE? [Yes/No] [Yes]: *RIP* *TEAR* So well seasoned! And is that a hint of garlic and lemon I detect? Simply superb! I must have MORE! [Yes/No] [Yes]: MMm... crunch... munch... *BUUUUUUUUURP* ...Oops. [No]: Ah, well you can't blame an old man for trying. This is a journey you two must STOMACH ALONE. You must walk within your INNER DARKNESS and deal with your INNER CONFLICT and all that fruity jazz. Now... go! [No]: Ah, well you can't blame an old man for trying. This is a journey you two must STOMACH ALONE. You must walk within your INNER DARKNESS and deal with your INNER CONFLICT and all that fruity jazz. Now... go! [No]: Then BE GONE!
You have done well... KEHEHEHE... come back for a barbeque sometime... *licks lips*
There is a gaping, throbbing abyss. No bottom can be seen by your pitiful eyes.
Welcome, my PRODICAL SON. To get WHAT THOU DOTH SEEK thy must faceth thy DARKEST FEARS. Art thy ready to face thou WORST FEAR in the SCREAMING ABYSS OF ETERNAL AGONY? There is no return for the UNWORTHY.
Eat your vegetables.
MARY... how could this have happened to our SON?
JAMES... our little boy is gone...
Got Depressed! But what's new about that...
Nap with me, PHILLIP. Nap with me and never wake up. Feel the comforting embrace of slumber as all life ebs from your PATHETIC CARCASS.
You've faced RIP-THE-BLOOD and BREAK-THE-BONE... but can you handle BREAK-YOUR-HEART?
Nobody loves you.
Nobody loves me.
Like ketchup on a ham sandwich... my blood is on your hands, you WRETCHED CUR.
Got a punch in the face! Yow!
I'm sick of being ALIVE. What's taking DEATH so long?
worthless
hopeless
less.
shame
fears
tears
sad
bad
lame
Got Self-Esteem! ...But then it flittered away...
What the f*ck did you do with your life?
Question #1: How did you get to EARTH BIRTH? Question #2: What is LEG HORSE? Question #4: What is your biggest childhood trauma? Question #5: How do you want to die? Question #6: Who is always watching you? Question #6: Which kitchen appliance represents your outlook on life? Question #7: \\\\\\\\\[]sd[sl;a,/l' Question #8: How many questions have you answered? Question #9: Which thing is lonely? Question #10: Which thing can hear you breathing? Final question. Where are my organs? Time's up. I will now calculate your failures. LOADING... please allow up to 15 mintues for installation... We have calculated your GRADE. I'm pleased to say that every last one of you has achieved a perfect score! ...Except for you, PHILLIP. You have FAILED MISERABLY. For your DISGUSTING INSOLENCE, you must remain in your seat while you watch all the REAL STUDENTS ascend into HEAVEN.
There. Now don't you feel left out LITTLE MAN? All your friends went off without you. Here, now take this REPORT CARD as a mark of SHAME to bring home to your POOR MOTHER. Got SHAMEFUL REPORT CARD! You feel ashamed.
There. Now don't you feel left out LITTLE MAN? All your friends went off without you. Here, now take this REPORT CARD as a mark of BADNESS to bring home to your POOR MOTHER. Got BAD REPORT CARD! You feel bad.
You sicken me.
YOUNG MAN! Are those your UNDERPANTS!? Coming to CLASS without proper attire is an ABOMINATION. I should destroy you for your insolence! Alas, due to the CUT BUDGETS of our public schools I don't get paid enough to TEAR OUT YOUR SPINE, so just take a seat you pitiful SCUM. Instead, I'll just have the class LAUGH at your misery. Come on class, LAUGH at the PATHETIC SCUM who came to class in his UNDERWEAR! Ah yes, there. I believe the boy has been thoroughly SHAMED. Let us continue on to our MATH EXAM. What's that? You don't remember what kind of math the test is on? Well maybe you should have spent more time STUDYING and less time trying on your PRECIOUS UNDERGARMENTS, hmm? Now remember, this is a MULTIPLE CHOICE test. Answer honestly, for there is only ONE TRUE ANSWER to each question. Anyone caught LYING on their exam will be DRAWN AND QUARTERED. Now... BEGIN!
Urgh...... PHILLIP! You're alive!? Hmph! I don't know how a peasant survived such BRUTAL TRIALS! The smothering walls of SHAVING CREAM and WAX nearly did me in... But it would be a waste of my time to ask questions about such a WIBBLING SLIME! We're in the last leg of our journey, PHILLIP. We just need to break this last kneecap and we'll be ready to slay SCIENCE once and for all!
Wh... what is this place!? It almost looks like... home... My kingdom... I wonder what they're doing without my IRON FIST ruling their pitiful carcasses... What are you looking at!? Don't drag your feet or I'll cut them off and sell them!
Haha! I am Dracula!
Impossible...
\\\\\\\\\\\elf\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\F*CK\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\bag\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THERE. THAT'S BETTER. I FORGOT FOR A MOMENT MORTALS CANNOT UNDERSTAND MY TONGUE. Who... who are you!? I AM THE 256. WHY HAVE YOU COME TO MY DEN OF DEBAUCHERY AND \\2\\ahi5\? We seek to destroy SCIENCE. Join me or die! WISHFUL THINKING, BUT I CANNOT DIE. I AM AN INFINITE BEING OF \SD3\\\\\ AND F*CKERY. Oh... Well then, join me or suffer an AGONIZING BEATING! THAT PITCH WAS A LITTLE BETTER BUT NOT QUITE WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR. HMM... HOW ABOUT YOU PAY ME LIKE... I DUNNO... MAYBE LIKE A COUPLE RUBLES? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REALLY CARE THAT MUCH. OH, I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I WANT A BURGER AND FRIES.......Okay. It appears we have no choice. My MANSERVANT and I will get you these fries and burgermeats... IF you destroy SCIENCE! CONSIDER IT A DEAL. I WILL GRANT THOU THE POWERS TO DEFEAT THINE ENEMIES THAT IS SCIENCE. JUST KNOW THAT YOU DEAL WITH A POWER JUST AS DARK AND DEADLY AS THAT WHICH YOU SEEK TO DESTROY, SH*THEADS. PEACE OUT F*CKERRRSSS!! The party recieved the ability DISRUPT! And then they went on their merry way.
\\\\\\\\\\\elf\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\F*CK\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\bag\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THERE. THAT'S BETTER. I FORGOT FOR A MOMENT MORTALS CANNOT UNDERSTAND MY TONGUE. Who... who are you!? I AM THE 256. WHY HAVE YOU COME TO MY DEN OF DEBAUCHERY AND \\2\\ahi5\? We seek to destroy SCIENCE. Join me or die! WISHFUL THINKING, BUT I CANNOT DIE. I AM AN INFINITE BEING OF \SD3\\\\\ AND F*CKERY. Oh... Well then, join me or suffer an AGONIZING BEATING! THAT PITCH WAS A LITTLE BETTER BUT NOT QUITE WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR. HMM... HOW ABOUT YOU PAY ME LIKE... I DUNNO... MAYBE LIKE A COUPLE RUBLES? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REALLY CARE THAT MUCH. Perhaps... Dracula vill give you the weed? MEH, NO THANK YOU, I'M ON A DIET. OH, I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I WANT A BURGER AND FRIES.......Okay. It appears we have no choice. My MANSERVANTS and I will get you these fries and burgermeats... IF you destroy SCIENCE! CONSIDER IT A DEAL. I WILL GRANT THOU THE POWERS TO DEFEAT THINE ENEMIES THAT IS SCIENCE. JUST KNOW THAT YOU DEAL WITH A POWER JUST AS DARK AND DEADLY AS THAT WHICH YOU SEEK TO DESTROY, SH*THEADS. PEACE OUT F*CKERRRSSS!! The party recieved the ability DISRUPT! And then they went on their merry way.
Dip your feet into the putrid tar?
I am a RAUL MONK. Gasp! Shock! How did you find this most sacred of groves?? Did you come to wash your feet in the river? They say if you wash your feet in this river then you can BEND TIME AND SPACE. That is why it is such a well guarded secret! But only the most pure hearted DEBUTANTE is worthy enough to dip their peds into the WHIZZING WATERS... you must prove your worth. Are you WORTHY? [Yes/No] [Yes]: Yes... I sense your PURE colon and TENDER kidneys... you are a true RAULVOLUTIONARY. I would be honored if you plunged your ligaments into the glorping waves. [No]: Then begone! Meditate further on the meaning of LIFE.
Merry Christmas and God Bless. Let the light of your blessed COLON guide you in your quest to SMITE the nonbelievers.
Aha! My friends! I see you too have decided to ABANDON the LINEAR TIMELINE! Ve are currently in the DISTANT PAST, or maybe the FAR FUTURE? Haha! Who knows! I am Dracula! I vant to find the legendary OBESE DOOBIE! Legends tell, vat it vas a DOOBIE so fat, so succulent, vat it it vas hunted to extinction... Men turned to beasts, manipulating TIME ITSELF to hunt the DOOBIE to extinction in every nanosecond of the timeline... It has been my life's DREAM to undertake the ULTIMATE TOKING EXPERIENCE... If the OBESE DOOBIE vas extinct in past, present, and future, I need to look OUTSIDE OF TIME ITSELF! Vill you help me complete this QUEST? [Sure thing Dracula]: Haha! Many fangks! DRACULA joined the team.
Greetings. The world has been watching you. Please follow the RIVER.
Doors? Only fools need doors. Kehehehehe...
Don't be deceived by ESCALATORS. They won't take you ANYWHERE.
Plot advice!
Beyond this door is the REST thou doth seek... but don't forget to brush first!
Ahead is the HAZY MAZE, MAZE OF NO RETURN.
I am the KING OF TIME. I control time. Do not cross me.
How many STOMPS does it take to crush your SKULL?
Your shoe's untied.
We're everywhere. In time. Outside of time. Outside your WINDOW. Why don't you love me baby?
You have ONE LESS day until you die.
Want some CANDY? Ehehehe.
It's TOO LATE FOR YOU. Curfew was at 7 pm.
What's the point?
I live here alone... with my GOLDEN RETRIEVER... it is a life of peaceful solitude...
...Oh... there's too much solitude in here now...
There it is... the OBESE DOOBIE Dracula has searched for all these years! Haha! Look at its fabulous GIRTH... Yes... this is vat I vanted all along... Ve must slay the DOOBIE! For the MOTHERLAND! Huff... huff... now, for the finishing blow... or should Dracula say... the finishing TOKE? Haha! OH!! OH GOD PLEASE NO!! I'M BURNING!! I'M BURNING!!!!!! *wheeze* Get up. Get up, you SNIVELING MOLLUSK! Finally you're up! Hmph! We're through with this INANE DETOUR. Strap up son, we're LEAVING!
So... this is the OBESE DOOBIE...
Dracula was not prepared for such... majesty...
Got Eldritch Blade! Wowie zowie!!
Got Steel Wool PJs!
Got Titanium Slacks!
Got Really Angry Shoes! Careful, these ones're rarin' for a fight!
Hoo-hah! I am the WITCH GREMLINTOE. I see SECRETS in the STARS... at a reasonable price! For 1 LIBERTARIAN SKULL I can TELL YOU THE SECRETS OF EARTH BIRTH. [Yes/No] [Yes]: You have none!! Don't try and pull a fast one on me, sugartits! *hissss* [No]: Then begone!!
Hoo-hah! I am the WITCH GREMLINTOE. I see SECRETS in the STARS... at a reasonable price! For 1 LIBERTARIAN SKULL I can TELL YOU THE SECRETS OF EARTH BIRTH. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Right then! Which SECRET do you wish to SEE? [Secret of the RIVER/Secret of the RETRIEVERS/Secret of the SCIENCE/Nevermind] [Secret of the RIVER]: They say if you dip your toes in the RIVER south of the MEAT MARSH then strange things occur... but you didn't hear it from me! [Secret of the RETRIEVERS]: They say if you collect all 9 GOLDEN RETRIEVERS then you will be granted POWER UNIMAGINABLE... but don't quote me on this. [Secret of the SCIENCE]: The secret of SCIENCE, you say? Well... IT IS A SECRET! Foolish MANCHILD! I would never betray SCIENCE! Who else would supply me INTERNET? [Nevermind]: Then be gone! [No]: Then begone!!
Heyyy man! You're goin' to the summit right? Can you help a bro out and like, give me a ride? [Yes/No] [Yes]: Ah, thanks. I really need this. Got Sleepy Bean Man! [No]: That's alright, dude, I understand.
Hrmph... but where do we go from here? How do we get to the MOONBASE?! Answer me, you CUR!
He was a good man...
Wait! What is it, SLEEPY BEAN MAN? This is where we part ways, I'm afraid. I... I want to be planted right here. I... I'm so sleepy... But... BEAN MAN... what about all we've been through together?! You can't leave! Not now! Do not weep for me, HORACE. It is my time. Everything must sleep some time... PHILLIP... be strong bro, alright? Things will work out. You're so brave. HORACE? Don't blame yourself. What's in the past is in the past... Those are my final words... and now I must sleep... farewell, my friends... take care... brush your teeth... do your homework... Peace out... zzzzzzzzzzz That is one serene bean...
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *snore*
I see you are not long for this world... come slumber... the LION EGGS crave tender meat such as yours... *strange yowl*
I am the ANGEL MORONI! Vicious MOON MEN have stolen my GOLDEN TABLET!
Gasp! Ye hath recovered my PRECIOUS TABLET! Oh rapturous joys!
Got the Golden Tablet! Wowie!
Science... has been waiting for you. You are here to thwart us. You will be terminated by the hands of SCIENCE. But don't get me wrong. I will not impede your progress. As men of SCIENCE, we are all about progress. The strong eat the weak and continue their GENETIC MATERIAL. That is progress in its purest form, with no additives or artificial flavors. That is life, kwaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... But know that if you continue through this door, you can NEVER RETURN. Doth thou wish for thy entry?
HAHA! You fell for my devious, SCIENTIFIC plan! Oh SCIENCE in heaven would be proud...!! *wheeze* You will now be a permanent EXPERIMENTAL SPECIMEN!! Mwahahaha!!! Think of all the SCIENCE we'll conduct on your wretched body filled with cells... HEHEHEHEEHEHE And don't even THINK of escape! Not for one second! The glass you are behind is INVULNERABLE to SHATTERING. You are trapped!! Forever!!! HEHEHEHE
Ahead is the SCIENCE EXPERIMENTING ROOM.
Ahead is the SCIENCE MORGUE & LUNCH ROOM.
Ahead is the SCIENCE SPECIMEN ROOM.
Ahead is the SCIENCE DUNGEON. The levels of SCIENCE are toxic beyond this point.
Pass the doctor headphones. Nurse, grab the bag of liquid! I need the zappy chest things, stat!
*wheeze*
I can't see the baby yet...!!
Shhh... we're making SURGERY!
Hmm? Yes? And what is your relation to the deceased?
Soon SCIENCE will dominate all. Mwahaha.
It's just like highschool all over again... *soft wibbling*
Hahaha. I love this restaurant. The atmosphere is great.
Never talk to strangers.
Hello fatty. Did you know a sock is on your head? It is?? Oh good I am so hungry.
All the LUNCHES here are synthetically synthesized from inorganic material. It's more SCIENCEY this way.
Go away.
I just wanna hang out, ya know? Yeah man, woo!
HONK HONK welcome to SPACEBURGER enjoy your BURGERS
Sorry son, we're all out of SYNTHETIC GIBLETS.
The MOME BEAST experiment is going well!
I’m not sure what purpose it would serve, but the important thing is that there would be a body fermenting in a basement full of apple juice.
help me, I'm begging you
Here we eject LAB EXPERIMENTS into the planet's ATMOSPHERE every Christmas.
Please call me Uncle Beef. I am new here.
Scrub off all the filth. All the skin and meat and fingernails. Perfection is a very clean skeleton. Ladies love a clean skeleton. You'd do well to remember this, boy!
I just can’t stand it when facts get in the way of my opinions.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRG
Get your gross MEATBODY away from me, you cowering blubber grape.
Inside my muscles are tinier muscles, and in those muscles are micromuscles, continuing beyond until they are so divorced from your understanding of MUSCLES that it could not be percieved by mortals.
What? No, I'm sorry. I can't breed in captivity. *mrowr*
Every single one of you is the ugliest person I have ever seen.
Check! One two three! Check! Yep, everything looks good!
Shoving glass underneath your nails is great fun! funfunfunfun
Mrs Fishpile never forgets a friend. You are not a friend.
Happy Halloween. It will be your last.
Woooahhahhhhhh. I am too high for this shit my brother.
............It's too late for you.
...
This is outrageous! I am OUTRAGED.
I am the WIZARD HINGLEBURG. You are not. I'll see you in court.
I love making COMPUTER SCIENCE!
Kehehehehehe...
Mmmm... Your BLOOD smells like HAM... *swoon* Be my boyfriend!
SCIENCE SPIDER drinks the BLOOD of failed experiments!! Awwww!!! So precious!!!
From hereon out, the SCIENCE LEVELS are toxic to mortals. It is said only the DESTINED can defy its alluring alure... I read that in a bathroom stall once.
The party was fully healed! How nice!
So... we finally meet, SCIENCE. Yes. It is I, SCIENCE. I am surprised you have made it this far. No matter. It was only an error in my calculations. You'll be dead soon enough. Son, what do you know of the scientific method? Did you know that sperm can live over a day after the body dies? It is a scientific fact. This is also a fact: I will kill you in the most rational way possible. Your body will burn to cinders when you are struck by my lasers. Speaking of which, it can take up to two hours to fully incinerate a body at a temprature of 1000 degrees celsius. Curious, isn't it? Haha. S-shut up!! We won't take any of your tricks! The 256 will slay you! Your vile ways end here! Do you honestly think your delusions and feelings can defeat me? I am logic. I am technology. I am the foundation of the entire universe. The 256 is nothing more than a glitch in the system. Without me you'll cease to exist, much like the extinct penguins of aeons past. I bet you didn't know that some prehistoric species of predatory penguin attained enormous sizes, becoming as tall as a man. Come, my deluded friends. Let us do battle. Words will not resolve this conflict. A fight to the death is the only logical solution....And there is only one logical answer. *pant* *pant* *hissss* I've... underestimated you, my adversaries... I see now the true power of blind faith. Or should I say, the power of herd stupidity. You and your precious wizards have doomed this world, and many others. Herd... herds... a mule is the offspring of a female horse and a male donkey... but a male horse and a female donkey produces a hinny... *cough* It is too late for me... Do not mourn your fates, for you brought them upon yourself... It's finally over... EARTH BIRTH is safe. We emerge triumphant once more!! Let's get back to BLUMBURG and---
SPACE FUNERAL: EARTH BIRTH a fangame composed by duckstapler original epic by thecatamites WRITTEN WITH SUGGESTIONS FROM skittycat uveggetis GUEST STARRING Pyramid Head, belonging to Konami Aquaman, belonging to DC Comics Raul Suntasig, belonging to himself Nic Cage (except not rly), belonging to himself The Dogscape, belonging to the weirdos who wrote it ALSO STARRING kwillow as THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER LORD skittycat's Tawni as WEED SMOKING RAT BOY duckstapler's Dylan as DOPE TOKING OCTOPUS skittycat's Jen as SCIENCE SPIDER & VEGETABLES was inspired by uveggetis SOUND CREDITS (holy moly it's long) Meat Flavored Factor - Skinny Puppy Leakage - Noisia The Deathless Horsie - Frank Zappa The Jezebel Spirit - Brian Eno and David Byrne Puppy Gristle - Skinny Puppy Ain't No Rest For The Wicked - Cage the Elephant Deep Blooper Sea - Nintendo Things We Never Had - Coil Killing Smile - PzychoBitch Flight of the Zinger - Nintendo Rainbow Resort - Nintendo Ra - Kindzadza Blue Serge - Skinny Puppy Sonic CD Boss Theme - SEGA Dead on Arrival - Throbbing Gristle Build up - Kindzadza Dogstep - Structured Noise A Strange Device - Emilie Autumn Plus some music featured in the orignal 'FUNERAL....and an evil giggle sound effect plucked from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. SPECIAL THANKS steamycafe, for existing the #space funeral tag on tumblr, for inspiring me darkchibishadow, for making Space Funeral 2 and yeah that's pretty much it you can go home now there's nothing else to see thanks for playing this rambling fan sequel stay groovy bros
You desire returning to EARTH BIRTH. [Yes/No] [Yes]: Then let us vamoose.
Got Fetal Puppyfruit!
Got Goodbad Nipple Pasties! Now the party can REALLY start!
Got Puppy PJs!
Got Canid Fang!
Got Lupine Lounge Robe!
Got Dogblood Wine Glass!
Got Fluffy Dog Pants!
Got Doggy Socks!
Haha! Yes! This is good! Haha! [How are you doing Dracula]: High as a kite! Aha! All fangks to you, friend! Dracula will now accompany you on your QUEST! [That's swell]: DRACULA joined the team.
HEAD EAST TO THE BLOOD SEA AND MURDER 8 BEYOND... NORTHERNWARDS IS THE BILE VOLCANO... AWROOOOOOOOOO