12 oz Mouse script: S1E07_AdventureMouse

int. Rhoda's.  Square sits at the bar, Rhoda approaches.

RHODA: Hey, can I, uh, can I get you som'n?  Uh, partner?
SQUARE: I'm sorry, it sounded like you said "partner".
RHODA: Y'know, buddy, guy, chum-... square.
SQUARE: Let me see if I can get you something.

A weird noise plays.

RHODA: Huh.  W, w, what're ya gettin' at?

Rhoda's head is sliced in half.  A snake emerges from it, breathes fire, and slithers away.  Square calls Shark.

SQUARE (on phone): Shark, I am running a tad late, but I am super excited to be attending your little soiree.

int. Shark's study.

SHARK: Just get here.  And uh, don't hurt Rhoda.

int. Rhoda's

SQUARE: Well, I... promise I won't touch him.

Shot of corndog field, and outside of Roostre's place.

int. Roostre's.  Roostre and Peanut are tied up.  Joe is gagged.  New Guy and Skillet are Dancing.  Mouse watches.

MOUSE: Got to... do something.  But I can't.
ROOSTRE: Nobody look at him! Get outta here before the song finishes!

They all leave except Skillet and New Guy.  Mouse stops Roostre on the porch.

MOUSE: Wait.  What about Skillet?
ROOSTRE: No time, Mouse, he's a goner.
MOUSE: But he's my only friend.

ext. roof.  Peanut comes out of the chimney, coughing.

PEANUT: Dude.  We need... we need to totally like... what we need to do is...

Peanut falls off the roof.

PEANUT: Wow. (laughing) We're in trouble.

Golden Joe appears by the jetcar.

GOLDEN JOE: We gotta roll, giznites. Outta here like last year. Peep this. This is what you were tryin' to lay down, right?
PEANUT: Lay down! (Laughs)
ROOSTRE: He's right, mouse.
MOUSE: Gimme that.

Mouse steps on the rocketboard Roostre is standing on, knocking him over.

ROOSTRE: Gimme that, please?
MOUSE: Take the taxi. (Tosses Roostre the keys) And meet me in town in one hour.
ROOSTRE: What's an hour in this town.
PEANUT: (laughing) He's totally on target, man. What time?
GOLDEN JOE: Time, shime, hime, pime. Golden Joe gots to go! Like right no!
MOUSE: Get goin'.
PEANUT: Dude, gimme the keys. I think I should be driving you.
ROOSTRE: No way, fuzz.
PEANUT: But I insist! Ahhh... gimme the keys.
GOLDEN JOE: Don't let him drive, Roost! You crazy, you straight up crazy to let him drive. I, I'll drive.

Golden Joe teleports over Roostre, who smacks him to the ground.

GOLDEN JOE: Step off, man. I'm a good driver, I'll drive.
ROOSTRE: No, you ain't. No way you ain't.
GOLDEN JOE: Man, I'm a good driver, I drove my mom crazy all last year. I'm a good driver.
PEANUT: (laughing) He, he, he, he, he is, he is, I know.  Give him the keys. (Lunges at Roostre, and misses)
ROOSTRE: I'm drivin'.  Now get on in.

Mouse approaches the window, and watches Skillet and New Guy.  Mouse enters, and rolls around on the rocketboard.  He then turns it on and it flies out of his hand, destroying the record player and knocking out New Guy and himself.  Skillet takes control of the rocketboard and stops it.  Mouse gets up.

MOUSE: Oh, my head.

Skillet screeches.

MOUSE: He does?

Skillet screeches, holding a card that says "Shark Party".

MOUSE: Well, (pulls out a gun) let's go to the party.

int. Party. Annoying Woman is harassing a group of men.

ANNOYING WOMAN: This party isn't that great. I've been to better parties that have been much greater. If you think I'm having fun at this party, I am not.

The man she's talking to leaves, and she approaches another.

ANNOYING WOMAN: There are no bacon-wrapped goodies at this party. Bacon-wrapped goodies are my very favorite. I need a bacon-wrapped goody like you need plastic surgery.

Cut to shark, sipping a drink. Square approaches.

SQUARE: Hell... of a party, Shark.
SHARK: Shut up. How's Rhoda doin'.
SQUARE: She has a small head injury, but nothing too fixable.
SHARK: If you killed her, I'll-

EYE (Suddenly standing next to Square): Eye'll?

SHARK: Yeah. (Square sinks into the floor) You. Glad you came.
EYE: I'm having fun at your part-eye.
SHARK: Yeah, thanks, uh... love it over there. Away from me. In Canada. Or farther.
EYE: I... saw your slideshow.
SHARK: I know. I showed it to you. I was there, your big wet eyeball was there, we were both there. 'Member?
EYE: I do.

ext. Desert. Mouse, holding New Guy, and Skillet are riding the rocketboard. A hovervac flies by.

int. Party. Shark is still with Eye.

SHARK: Who told you about the party? 'Cause I don't have people in that often. And you're not even people. You round, wet, unblinking, horrific orb. You're gross. I really wish you would leave my party.

Annoying woman chases a man by.

ANNOYING WOMAN (pointing at his drink): Can I have this? I want this thing here. Give it to me. Did you hear me? I need this for me.

Cut to liquor approaching two men.

LIQUOR: Hey, so, what do you all do?

They say nothing.

LIQUOR: No kidding. In town, or...?

A hovervac sucks the men up.

LIQUOR: That is a treat. (Walks away) Excuse me. I've enjoyed our chat.

Spider and Clock approach.

Cut to Man/Woman looking at a bookcase full of books that say "RULES".

MAN/WOMAN: I have read all these books, and they are good books. Out of all these books, I would say that they are all these my favorite.

Liquor approaches.

LIQUOR: Hi.

Man/Woman turns into a man.

LIQUOR: And hi to you.

Man/Woman changes back.

MAN/WOMAN: Leave us alone, we're reading.
LIQUOR: All these books are the same. They're all titled, "Rules".
MAN/WOMAN: so?
LIQUOR: So, I mean, are you reading "Rules", or "Rules"? And if you've read one, don't you already sort of know what the other one's about?
MAN/WOMAN: Selur eht era selur!
LIQUOR: I'm sorry?
MAN/WOMAN: Selur eht era selur!
LIQUOR: your mama. Okay?

ext. street outside of party. Two men stand by a car.

MAN: Hey, Buttermilk, is this your new car? This looks like your new car.
BUTTERMILK: uh-huh.

The jetcar crashes into the car, killing them both.

ROOSTRE: Dammit Joe, I'm the pilot around here, not you. I told you to let me drive, and leave these controllers alone.
GOLDEN JOE: You did?
PEANUT: Have we been driving? Driven? (Laughs) Because Jesus saves!
ROOSTRE: shut up!
PEANUT: What am I? What am I talking about?

Joe hits some controls, and turns on "F-Off".

ROOSTRE: Dammit, Joe!

Mouse rides in on the rocketboard with Skillet and New GUy.

MOUSE: Aloha.
ROOSTRE: How do I open this thing?
PEANUT: Dude, that's a mouse.
GOLDEN JOE: well rear my ear stoney, that's crazy!
ROOSTRE: Shut up! I'm tryin' to get us outta here! It takes concentration, and you two are ruinin' mine. Now Mouse, how do we get out?
MOUSE: I think it's better that you... stay in there.

A bloody body is slammed against the window of Shark's party.

ROOSTRE: Don't even think about it, Fitz.
MOUSE: What? Don't think about it, what?
ROOSTRE: Trust me, you don't wanna go in there.
MOUSE: What did you call me?
ROOSTRE: I didn't call you anything.
PEANUT: This is awesome. You're a mouse.
MOUSE: No no no, you, you called me Fitz. Liquor called me Fitz once.
ROOSTRE: 's just a name, like Butch. It don't mean nothin'.
MOUSE: Shark... called me Butch.
ROOSTRE: Butch is nothin too. 's like when you wake up and tell your son's friend, "Hey, man, you gonna sleep all day, Butch, or you gonna mow the lawn?" That's it, that's what it is, that's all it is.
MOUSE: And so much... more than that.
GOLDEN JOE: Roost!
ROOSTRE: What?
GOLDEN JOE: Man, I gotta do the trickle! You gotta open this up so I can go.
PEANUT: Me too, dude, up top!
ROOSTRE: Drivin' with you guys 's like drivin' with a buncha damn babies!

A "circle effect" centers around Roostre's head, as a cheesy tune plays.

sHARK (voice): And that's where we cut.

int Shark's control room. Shark is watching roostre on his monitors. Square and Eye are there.

sHARK (cont'd): The circle effect... is effective.
EYE: That's a good show. How does it end?
SHARK: It never ends.
EYE: But ever-eye-thing ends, somehow.
SHARK: You are becoming a real problem.
EYE: I'm... sorry.
SQUARE: Shark, I think he should prove his sorryness. With these.

A pair of bloody shears appears.

SHARK: Wow. Yeah it's, that's menacing. We gonna hire the hand next, to uh, operate those?

A weird noise plays.

SHARK: Hey! Are you listening to me?
SQUARE: Shhh. I'm making it happen.

int. Mouse's apartment. Pronto enters, fires arrows, goes to the icebox and opens it. The hand is inside.

int. Party. Mouse, Skillet and New Guy enter.

MOUSE: This party's weird. No one seems to be... partying. Oh wait, wait, hold on.

He sniffs the punch bowl, then pours liquid from a flask into it and sniffs it again.

MOUSE: That smells good.

He tips the bowl up and drinks.

MOUSE: This is some good shee. (to Skillet) Um, you want any?

Liquor approaches.

LIQUOR: Ah, Fitz. (His image triples and his voice becomes distorted) You shouldn't be here.
MOUSE: You know me.
LIQUOR: (The screen flashes black, one of his eyes slides down his head and his voice cuts out intermittently) No I don't. You're my friend.
MOUSE: (Holding his head) My head.

Skillet, drinking from the bowl, screeches.

LIQUOR: (Red clouds and spider legs appear behind his head, the image of a skull flashes, and his voice deepens) Get out while you can. Stay here forever, with us.
MOUSE: I think I need to-

Mouse falls backwards into the bookcase, which opens, and he falls down behind it. He falls through images of the shadow man and the clock. A voice says, "amputation, emulation, Lorenzini." Back in the room, Man/Woman is standing by Skillet, who is still drinking from the bowl.

MAN/WOMAN: I have read all these books, and they are good books.

The bookcase closes. Skillet looks up, screeches, jumps down and starts punching it.

SHARK (voice): Whoa!

int. Control room. Shark is watching Skillet on a monitor.

SHARK: Down, little buddy. Down. I don't wanna have to tell you again. I will, but I don't want to.

On the screen, a target centers on Skillet and a dart fires, knocking him down.

int. Party. New Guy is standing next to some men. Eye hops up, missing a leg and bleeding profusely.

EYE: I hurt! I hurt!

The hand comes in, holding the shears.

int. control room.  On the monitor, eye falls over into the pool of his blood.

EYE: I need help.

Shark laughs evilly.

end.