I got the programming job!

Thanks /prog/ I couldn't have done it without you! My knowledge of Haskell, Lisp, Scheme, SICP and Jews gleaned from this board and when inverted so that I made sure never to discuss them during the interview were instrumental in landing the job offer!

I hope you enjoy ``developing'' ``killer cloud apps'' in Javashit with gay hipsters (or SCALABLE AGILE JAVA TURNKEY SOLUTIONS with indians).

I'm glad to hear it. Remember, you may never be able to use lisp, haskell, and friends on the job, but you will always be able to create really shoddy implementations of them in your enterprise tohouing complete languages used. Who needs macros when you can write code generation scripts in your scripting language of choice, xml, and json! Who needs lazy evaluation when you can implement it unoptimizably in your object oriented language of choice! Who needs tail recursion when you can trampoline! Who needs continuations when you can trampoline your continuation call backs!

Shit, /g/, this is an emergency! I've got an ENTERPRISE software procurement meeting in half an hour and I don't have a suit to wear.
Please, quick, post me some ENTERPRISE JARGON to baffle them with so I can get away with my scruffy jeans and t-shirt look.

Product X is a professional, scalable business solution based on industry-standard technologies such as Web 2.0, AJAX and XML. Its high-availability mechanism delivers five-nines availability for your mission-critical appliations, fitting your business needs. Its core runs on the J2EE or .NET platforms, and is primarily written in Java, ensuring the application of industry best-practices and design patterns that will guarantee maximum customer satisfaction. It works in an object-oriented fashion, discovering business logic in a 2-tier architecture you can easily deploy to optimize cash flows, maximize profits and lower the Total Cost of Ownership, offering an early Return On Investment by converting visitors into customers and creating synergy between your different business departments. It works with your Business Intelligence, Enterprise Resource Planning and Content Management System solutions, and it provides an industry-leading Business Process Management module to facilitate workflow management and lifecycle management. A web services interface provides an enterprise-grade facility for business-to-business interaction and seamless integration with business logic.