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mrkillwolf666

Blitzo Lights

mrkillwolf666
Apr 15th, 2021
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  1. from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #698
  2. --------------------------------------
  3. Blitz Lights
  4. h ttps://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/626905448704114738/832476884923187230/1618537188642.png
  5. -
  6. >client giving birth
  7. But their business caters 100% to sinners who I thought Viv says can't reproduce.
  8. This is the same issue as the joke in episode 3 where a bunch of imps line up for Blitz's sale sign even though logic dictates they've never met anyone on Earth who they could wish dead.
  9. -
  10. >logic dictates they've never met anyone on Earth who they could wish dead.
  11. No one said you actually had to have a reason to put a hit on someone. They could just be pissing away some spare cash on having a complete rando murdered for funzies. Humans who buy a lottery scratcher on a whim and win a hundred bucks spend the windfall on some theater tickets or a weekend getaway, imps who have the same luck pay to have someone killed so they can laugh at them.
  12. -
  13. >complete rando murdered for funzies
  14. But that don't even get to see it and that's the fun part.
  15. -
  16. You have to pay extra for them to record it on their phones and email you the footage
  17. -
  18. For an extra sizable sum they'll track down the sinner and lock em up until the next extermination, wherein the day before it kicks off they tie him up right in the path of the exterminators.
  19. -
  20. >Exterminators have quotas to fill, and they're frankly not terribly picky about how they get their numbers to what they need them to be
  21. >After a while, some of them realize that the area around Circle 1, Sector 371 A415.219 (the street that IMP's office is on) seems to consistently have a substantial number of easy kills
  22. >Turns out there's a couple of native demons who are actually bringing sinners there, shackling them up, and leaving them out for them to kill
  23. >Well, who are they to question the motives of a demon?
  24. >Whole squads of exterminators give up on putting actual effort into their jobs and instead just hover around Imp City, waiting for Blitzo & Co to deliver them their easy prey
  25. >The evening before the clock tower hits the end of the countdown, just about every flat surface above ground level on the whole block has an exterminator perched on it
  26. >Watching
  27. >Waiting
  28. >For the next batch of helpless sinners to be dumped in their lap
  29. >Like a murder of crows waiting to snatch up the remains of a picnicker's lunch as soon as they've discarded their trash
  30. >They never make any move to harm the imps themselves, they're too smart to do anything to upset the source of their steady supply of victims
  31. >They wait patiently for the imps to deposit their targets on the ground and retreat back inside before they begin the slaughter
  32. -
  33. > Be human named Steve.
  34. > You win the lottery!
  35. > You get killed by IMP due to some random imp also winning the lottery and deciding to satisfy some more sadistic urges.
  36. > On the way down to hell you get the welcoming spiel every sinner gets of how you can still redeem yourself and go to heaven
  37. > Nice?
  38. > Pop up in hell
  39. > Get instantly nabbed by the IMP squad and thrown into a dark hole for a day
  40. > Get tied up and tossed into the path of the Exterminators
  41. > In the matter of two days go from winning the lottery to ceasing to exist, or whatever happens to sinners that get exterminated.
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