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May 20th, 2019
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  1. Civil War was the first *awful* Marvel movie, where nearly every character acted out of character, and against their own interests.
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  3. An incomplete list of all the shitty things in Captain America Civil War
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  5. * Ross: "Thanks for saving the world a bunch of times, and stuff, but, fuck you and sign your life away or you're all criminals."
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  7. * The idea that 100+ countries conferred and created a 400+ page peace accord, without ever telling the Avengers.
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  9. * Giving the Avengers ONE DAY to decide and fly across the planet.
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  11. * The conversation about it like they've never before discussed collateral damage or oversight…
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  13. * That most of the Avengers immediately were like "Sure, no problem!"
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  15. * That Tony Stark, the uncontrollable, was in favor of it (Thanks lame exposition scene at the elevator.)
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  17. * Tony: "I trashed all my suits"… GFY.
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  19. * That Captain America is the only one with a brain, asking a simple question like: "Hey guys, what if they tell us to go do something we all don't agree with?"
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  21. * Without hesitation, the Avengers turn on Captain America. Not once do they ask what his angle is when he is protecting Bucky.
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  23. * Framing Bucky, the only guy who knows there are other winter soldiers, and then letting him live to explain it…
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  25. * Zemo not only discovering the code book for the winter soldier, but unexplained, being the person sent to talk to Bucky. Huge setup involved, none of it shown, because it doesn't make any sense.
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  27. * The EMP… Why did it need to be signed for and opened? Just so we could see it? Oh.
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  29. * Tony enlists a teenager as backup. A funny scene, if it were the after-credits bumper setting up a Stark-funded Spider-Man, but awful when he's recruiting a kid to the airport fight.
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  31. * The airport being completely empty.
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  33. * Ant-Man at all, and especially huge Ant-Man.
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  35. * Everything about Black Widow in this movie, not just her terrible delivery. Taking out a few soldiers with light weapons in an enclosed area, sure, but heavy armored guys with assault rifles in an open area? No, she's not Captain America, she'd be dead immediately.
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  37. * Zemo doing all of this to make them fight each other, then trying to kill himself… The motive and means to get there are just meh at best.
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  39. Civil War changed the series from a good thing into a campy comedy nightmare. Ragnarok was garbage, Black Panther was double garbage and offensive as shit. Marvel sucks.
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