I'm considering quitting

I haven't been active online in over a day, and it's because I'm extremely conflicted with what's going on in my life. For the 7 of you who truly care, this is going to hurt to tell you, but here goes:

I'm considering quitting speedrunning/streaming.

Speedrunning has only brought me more stress in my life, and there are millions of different factors involved. Essentially, everything pisses me off now. Every little flaw in how I play video games I magnify, and I can't stop it. It won't stop. My natural reaction to making mistakes is to bring myself down. Normally in life, if I truly care about being successful in something, I work my ass off and I get shit done. However, no matter how hard I try in speedrunning, I always come up short. I am not good at it. I can't stand it when people try to tell me "oh, you're really good, you're only 3 minutes off WR and this game is hard." This only gives me false hope, and it actually demotivates me even more. I've lost all my WR's in games I've ran, and I will never get any of them back. I'm irrelevant.

If I want to quit, I should just quit then, right? I have invested a LOT into this hobby. I've spent more money and time on making no progress in this hobby than I have trying to better my life in the long run. I've ignored friends and family to do speedrunning related activities, and I don't even want to do video game related things in my career. Other things interest me right now, but I feel like I have to stream/speedrun just because I'm expected to. I STILL feel like people only care to watch me play DKC. When I play anything else, I get at most 9 viewers. DKC? 20+. Why do I even bother anymore? However, again, I've invested way too much into this, and my room is filled to the brim with games, consoles, etc. If I quit, I have no clue what I'm gonna do with half of this crap.

Video games will always be a hobby for me. However, I want to start having fun again. I don't want a timer to dictate how I play a game. And speedrunning has exposed me for the person I am, and I honestly think the only way to improve my life is to call it quits and move on to something else. I don't know for sure yet if this is the right move for me, but I just want to let you all know what's going on.

I probably won't be very active online, however, I will read messages if you'd like to send them. Hopefully soon I can give a definite answer for all of this. Until then, I have online classes/work/yard sale going on, and I need to attend to that.

Thank you.
-Alec