Transcript Michael All of Us Safe Schools Coalition Minus18

MICHAEL	I'm Michael and I'm 19 years old and I grew up in the country. I'm currently studying science and engineering. And other than hanging out with friends and playing sport, I also happen to be gay - and this is my story. So the first person I came out to... It's a bit of a funny story. It was one afternoon in my room with my RA sitting there. My RA was someone who identified as bisexual and they were open about it and I knew this. I was interrogating her about being bisexual. She asked me why I had all these questions. And I said, "Because I actually think that I might be too. I might even be gay." And she was really excited for me, actually. And she asked if I'd told anybody. And I said no, she was the first person I'd told. And it just so happened that just outside of the bathroom were about 10 of my friends who were also there having their own little party. And I said, "Would it be weird if I just called out to them now, saying that I'm gay?" And she said, "No, no. It'd be fine." So she called them all into my room and I said, "Guys, I've got something to say. I'm gay." And they were like, "Oh, yeah, that's cool," and went back to doing their party. But I think it was definitely a big step for me. I think that young people think that a gay person is going to crack onto them just through not really understanding what changes in someone's life when they come out. I mean, to be honest, nothing changes except that they're just being themselves now. And that doesn't mean that all of a sudden, because your best friend has come out to you, that this whole time he's had a crush on you or that he really wants you or something like that now. So I think it's just a terrible idea that we are just attracted to whatever we can get. It's a ridiculous thing to think and it's definitely not true. Your best friend has come out to you not because he's attracted to you but because he trusts you and still wants you to be his best friend. I think what my friends could have done to make my schooling life a lot more positive for me and to make me feel a lot more comfortable about coming out is not using terms like "That's so gay," which I subconsciously assume is them hating everything that's gay. And so that sort of made me worried about coming out. But also not worrying about what other people think of them, whether they want to dance or whether they want to sing. Some of my friends were quite worried that that would make them look gay. I don't know - I wish everybody in the school didn't worry about looking gay or thinking that being gay would be uncool, because that just sort of confirmed in my head that I didn't really want to come out and be uncool. You might not realise it yourselves, but when you do use terms such as "That's so gay," you are actually hurting your friend. And you may not see it, because they might be in the closet, but it is confirming to them that, you know... They don't think that you're going to be too supportive if you did come out, and that you may not be their friend if they did come out to you. During high school, I actually had three girlfriends. And I think the reason that I had them was because I just thought that was the way it was. And a lot of my friends were getting girlfriends and things like that, and so I thought, "Oh, OK. You get the girlfriend and then you become attracted to them." I wish now that I had come out in high school and I wish that I had taken guys to debs or formals or had danced with them. That's something that I definitely missed out on in high school from not being out - just being able to be myself around my friends and with other people like me. And also just missing out on the high school relationships. I mean, there's pictures on my parents' wall at home of me with my deb date. And that's not really a true depiction of me. I mean, if it was, there should be a guy instead of the girl there. I was particularly worried about telling my siblings. The reason I was worried about telling my siblings is that there might be times when you're just chilling around the house and, I don't know, they might see two guys kiss on TV or they might see a gay article in the newspaper or something like that and they just might sort of, you know, laugh at it or they might be, like, "Eww" or something like that. And while they may not realise that they're doing it, it is still affecting me. They're the people you're living with, they're the people you seek support from and they're the people that are going to be in your lives for the rest of your life. So it is quite daunting to think that they might actually react badly and stuff that whole dynamic up. I think to be a good brother or a good sister is just... If you even think that your brother or sister might be gay, just to support them. Don't try and weasel it out of them or anything like that. Just let them know that you'll be there to support them no matter what. When I told my sister, she started to cry. And at first I wasn't sure if this was a positive or negative reaction. And I jumped straight to the negative and started thinking, "Oh, my God, what have I done? She doesn't love me anymore. She's crying - this is not good. What do I do?" And then she started saying how happy she was for me and she was crying in shock because she just didn't expect it, but that she still loved me and that she thought it was great that I could tell her. She said that she was also crying because the fact that I had told her sort of meant that I still loved her and wanted that relationship with her. I think, when I came out to them, it made our relationship a lot stronger. I was able to be myself around them which was something that I really enjoyed. And I was able to talk about everything in my life with them and not have to hide anything. Since I've come out, the three of us have become a lot closer and we really enjoy the time that we have together. I hope that from listening to my story, you can see that there really is no difference between a heterosexual lifestyle and a homosexual lifestyle and that any queer or gender-queer student is just the same as yourselves - they still have the same friends, the same work ethic, the same social life. The only thing that's different is who they're attracted to. I think it's also really important that you guys remember that it's the small things that can make a huge difference in your friends' lives. It's the little things that you say that can make them feel really good or can make them feel really afraid to come out. By making these changes, you're going to make schools a much safer place for LGBT students all across Australia, which is something that I wish I really had.