HS - General Welfare Invincible

“See, invulnerable heroes usually have some kind of Achilles heel, you know, like… uh… That guy (Achilles)” Fumigator tells me. “If we can figure out General Welfare’s secret weakness we can take advantage. So far we’ve tried poison gas, well, obviously (he points to his gas tank), death rays, ultra mega death rays, radioactive minerals. Hammerspace dropped an anvil on him from a building. Other guys have tried acid, magic spells, bombs, undersea pressure, aphorbic bombs - you name it. It’s been done. He takes a licking.”

“Didn’t Terrortron nuke him once?” Hammerspace adds.

“Yeah, during the Uzbekistan thing. That was ugly.”

I can’t help but picture General Welfare taking an ICBM the size of a building square in his puffed out chest, smiling the whole time. The blast incinerates his costume in milliseconds but he remains, walking from the charred crater of scorched earth stark naked, his smug expression never changing. What does a person think as the air catches fire around them and everything that was ceases to be? Is it absolute terror, or is it as mundane as a drive to work? As his hair was burning off in ten million degree temperatures was he wondering what he would do for lunch? Or is his hair invincible too?

“What about the stasis field bomb idea? What happened with that?” Fumigator asks.

Hammerspace rolls his eyes. “I can’t show a two year work history and unless you get me into Fort Knox to load my coat with gold bricks, we don’t have the funds.”

- Chapter 7