<FKER_Guy> I've met exactly ONE alpha-level sperglord
<FKER_Guy> Do you want to know about him?
<GMOTA_Guy> I'm not sure if I want to
<Mystical> me neither
<FKER_Guy> Well, firstly he didn't shower regularly until he was 16
<SexualSalamander> OH good lord
<FKER_Guy> And even then regularly meant once every week or so
<Ryan_Cordell> are you sure you didn't meet me in real life, fker :p
<FKER_Guy> No
<SexualSalamander> Was he obese>
<FKER_Guy> No he was crazy skinny
<Soundwave> Hungry skeleton
<Ryan_Cordell> (cuz oh god getting hygienic standards after 21 YEARS is fucking embarrassing)
<FKER_Guy> Now this was in HS, so it's been a while
<Soundwave> >hygienic standars after 21 years is fucking embarrassing
<Soundwave> Wat
<FKER_Guy> But apparently he used to shit behind the trees on the HS campus when we went out to lunch
<SexualSalamander> Are you sure he was a Sperglord and not Downs?
<FKER_Guy> He also managed to injure himself many times trying to do really dumb shit he thought he could do because he convinced himself he was some kind of superhuman
<charcola> wrong kind of superhuman
<FKER_Guy> Once he proke his arm literally trying to fly off a bridge
<FKER_Guy> broke*
<Ryan_Cordell> Soundwave, dude i don't like it either
<SexualSalamander> I read that as "broke is arm off literally"
<SexualSalamander> Either way, fucking ouch. And stupid.
<FKER_Guy> He also commonly went into the women's bathroom and pissed in the sinks
<Ryan_Cordell> o.O
<FKER_Guy> allegedly he would take his pants entirely off when he did this
<SexualSalamander> FKER are you pulling our legs?
<FKER_Guy> No
<SexualSalamander> IS this even real?
<FKER_Guy> In Canada the spergs are mixed in with the regular kids
<FKER_Guy> At least where I was
<FKER_Guy> ANYWAY
<FKER_Guy> One time he brought a replica death note to school, wrote peoples names on pages then ate them
<SexualSalamander> This TRANSCENDS Asperger's
<FKER_Guy> He would also sometimes lick his pencils from top to bottom
<SexualSalamander> Hell, it transcends Autism entirely
<SexualSalamander> IT's FULL RETARD
<FKER_Guy> Like, COVER them in saliva
<Ryan_Cordell> hahaha
<SexualSalamander> FULL
<SexualSalamander> RETARD
<FKER_Guy> There were other things like this, but to top it off was when he got caught jacking it standing in the hall outside his open locker (trying to hide his dick inside).
<FKER_Guy> Guess what he had in there?
<FKER_Guy> *take away the ?
<MasterHelpo_> a tenga v.20
<FKER_Guy> Oh no, nothing so normal
<SexualSalamander> A dakimakura?
<FKER_Guy> A sears catalogue and a dead hamster.
<SexualSalamander> WAT
<FKER_Guy> Both allegedly covered in cum
<SexualSalamander> WAT
<FKER_Guy> Now don't ask me what the FUCK he was doing with those, but god damn
<SexualSalamander> THIS IS LIES
<SexualSalamander> There is NO WAY this kid can exist
<FKER_Guy> He got expelled shortly after for going after someone with a butterknife and threatening to eat their eyes or something, I wasn't around for that
<FKER_Guy> Apparently someone really pissed him off
<SexualSalamander> There's no way this kid could function in the real world
<FKER_Guy> Now I know how fucking insane this sounds, but I tell you it was true and I saw probably about... 50% of that stuff firsthand WHILE IT HAPPENED and saw the aftermath of the rest of it, except for the cum-covered hamster/catalogue, which was onfirmed by multiple witnesses
<FKER_Guy> As in, the people in the hallway when the VP came by and asked him what the fuck he was doing
<SexualSalamander> ...do you know anything about his home life?
<FKER_Guy> Not a thing
<SexualSalamander> That could POSSIBLY explain why he's like that?
<SexualSalamander> Oh
<FKER_Guy> I think the hamster may have been his pet now that I'm drudging up old memories
<FKER_Guy> That might have just been a rumor, but then where the fuck did he get it
<MasterHelpo_> did the school have one?
<FKER_Guy> No
<MasterHelpo_> o
<SexualSalamander> Now I'm imagining this happening to one of the guinea pigs in that daycare I once worked at.
<SexualSalamander> I'm sad now
<FKER_Guy> AFAIK the hamster died of natural causes, or at least wasn't killed by his dick
<FKER_Guy> If it was people would have known and said something