Pegasi Courting Ritual (RGRE)

Sep 29th, 2016
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  1. >”So this is our ancient tradition of mares trying to attract colts.”
  2. >Before you was… well to be frank it was a ridiculously sized inflatable pool.
  3. ”I don’t get it.” You scratched your head, hoping the act would somehow instill the understanding to make sense of the scene before you.
  4. >”It’s very simple really, since princesses are part Pegasi, they will enter the pool with the others and perform demonstrations of superiority in an effort to attract a mate.”
  5. >Sure enough there were many Pegasi already in the pool, some just floating around and chatting with their friends.
  6. >And right in the center were Luna and Celestia, both looking nervous but otherwise simply floating in the water.
  7. >You could even see that they had their legs tucked in.
  8. >This was just odd.
  9. “I still don’t really get it, but continue.”
  10. >”As I was saying, when the time comes stallions will start coming here and the mares in the pool will attempt to draw their attention and favor.”
  11. “And they do this how?”
  12. >Twilight looked a bit sheepish at the question.
  13. >Was it really that bad?
  14. >”Well long ago they used to fight for dominance, but now it’s mostly about appearing bigger and having better plumage.”
  15. “Wait a tick, they fought?”
  16. >”Those were dark times in our history. Sometimes mares would have o go to the hospital for being dunked under water.”
  17. >That doesn’t sound too bad.
  18. >”Mom used to tell me stories of how some even got water in their nostrils and they cried because of how bad it felt.”
  19. >”Ladies and Gentlecolts. May I have your attention please.” A mare was began speaking with an air of authority.
  20. >Every head turned to her, ready to listen.
  21. >”We will now begin the annual Pegasus Courtship Festival. You have all been read the rules and I highly suggest you follow them. Good luck to all and may fortune favor you today.”
  22. >Your head snapped back towards the giant pool. Ready to bear witness.
  23. >Words could not describe the scene that began playing out in front of you.
  24. >Several mares began to splash each other using their wings.
  25. >Some got scared and took off into the air, at which promptly a whistle was blown by another pony in a referee shirt with a call of “You’re out!”.
  26. >But it was the royal sisters that concerned you the most.
  27. >They circled… errr floated around each other, hissing and yelling “Honk!!!” at the top of their lungs.
  28. >”This is amazing!”
  29. >Twilight viciously scribbled notes down, her gaze going back and forth between the carnage and her notepad.
  30. “What is?”
  31. >”The princesses, they’re going all out. And this early too.”
  32. “You don’t say.”
  33. >If going all out meant Celestia sticking out her tongue at Luna and her responding with some choice comments about the size of Celestia’s rump, you may have to re-evaluate a few things here.
  34. “Twilight I thought you said that they were supposed to show off for stallions?”
  35. >”They do, but this is a necessary step to weed out any who are just too ill prepared for the whole competition.”
  36. >Okay she is making this shit up as she goes along.
  37. >That’s right, you’re calling bullshit on the little horse.
  38. “Well I’m going to see this for myself then.”
  39. >Despite Twilights pleading for you to get back, you marched forward, towards the pool.
  40. >You barely got with twenty feet before you realized something was terribly wrong.
  41. >Everything went quiet, the type of quiet you see in the movies where you know someone’s about to get fucked.
  42. >And not in a good way.
  43. >It was then that you noticed that all the movement had stopped within the pool.
  44. >Every mares attention was solely on you.
  45. >Yeah this wasn’t going to end well, you could already tell.
  46. “Ahhh yeah, sorry thought I saw a penny on the ground. I’m just going to head back up to where it’s safe.”
  47. >Silentretreat.exe
  48. >Command Failed
  49. >”Contestant we have our first stallion, please line up and wait for you turn.”
  50. “No nononono, I’m not a part of this.”
  51. >Before you could react, you were placed front and center in a chair which was way too small for your size.
  52. >The pleading look which you sent Twilight only garnered a mute response of “This is the fate you chose asshat.”
  53. >E tu Twilight? E tu?
  54. >”The first contestant will be none other than the Princess of the Night, Luna.” The announcer wasn’t wasting any time with her shtick.
  55. >”It pleases us to see you again Anonymous. We thank you for giving us the opportunity to court you in the proper way.”
  56. “Don’t mention it.”
  57. >You were almost knocked backwards by the gust of wind that got sent your way when Luna unfurled her wings and flapped them suddenly.
  58. >Holy shit that almost gave you a heart attack.
  59. >”HOOOOONK!!! Honk Honk Honk!!”
  60. >They can’t be serious with this.
  61. >”Thank you princess Luna for that fine display.”
  62. >These niggers are serious with this.
  63. >”Next up we have Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts and leading champion of the Cloudsdale five hundred.”
  64. >An orange and yellow Pegasi, one you distinctly recall from the air shows that Rainbow dragged you too floated forward.
  65. >”Why hi there, you’re an odd one. But don’t worry if you pick me, I’ll show you just how fast I can really go.”
  66. >Was that supposed to be a pickup line? It sounded like a pickup line.
  67. >A bad one.
  68. >Much like Luna before her, Spitfire spread out her wings, minus the gust of air.
  69. >The big difference was she chirped.
  70. >Like a bird.
  71. >But with words. Which birds most definitely did not do, except those big fuckers with the claws.
  72. >Okay this shit was going from plain ridiculous to downright autism inducing.
  73. >Twilight get your purple ass over here and get me out of this shit!
  74. >Looking back for your little chaperone, you only saw a vacant space which she formerly occupied.
  75. >Where the fuck did purple nurple scamper off to? You needed her fuzzy ass to bail you out here.
  76. >”Next up we have”
  77. >The whole thing continued like that for several more mares.
  78. >Each feeding you a cheesy pickup line and some odd display conjoined with a bird sound.
  79. >Some tried honking, quacking, chirping.
  80. >One mare tried to preen herself, which got her tackled and immediately disqualified for indecent behavior.
  81. >This shit was more confusing that arithmetic.
  82. >Please just let this be over.
  83. >”And our last contestant, Princess Celestia herself.”
  84. >God, why have you forsaken me?
  85. >”Why hello Anonymous, it’s a pleasure seeing you again. I was quite surprised when I saw that you were the first to take part in this.”
  86. “Yeah.”
  87. >Celestia smiled that all knowing smile of hers again.
  88. >Twilight I swear if you don’t get your pony ass here soon you’ll… you’ll fuck with her organization schedule.
  89. >”Well I won’t keep you waiting any longer then.”
  90. >With that you saw the Princess which controlled the sun raise her head high and unfurl her wings.
  91. >Holy shit were did she have a massive wingspan.
  92. >And why the fuck was that the first thought that ran into your head?
  93. >This place was seriously starting to mess with your head.
  94. >Then taking you really by surprise was the single loudest “HONK!” from her mouth.
  95. >You had to cover your ears from that one, holy shit.
  96. >Giving you one last smile Celestia floated back over to her place beside her sister.
  97. >”Thank you very much Princess for that fine display. Now I have just been informed of a late entry into this year’s competition.”
  98. >Seriously fuck your life.
  99. >”Allow me to introduce the Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle.”
  100. >I’m going to burn all your books Twilight and then let Spike have ice cream for breakfast.
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