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4/10/2016, 6:10:19 PM
MahvelBaby: I MEAN
MahvelBaby: YOU'RE OKAY I GUESS
MahvelBaby: have you asked kloopz if he has poopz today
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: pcg you need to tell him
pogchampguy: tell who
MahvelBaby: kloopz
MahvelBaby: He has loo in his name.
MahvelBaby: So naturally.
MahvelBaby: You have to guide him to poo.
pogchampguy: o.o
MahvelBaby: nigga I see kloopz is whispering you
MahvelBaby: T E L L H I M
MahvelBaby: E
MahvelBaby: L
MahvelBaby: L
MahvelBaby: H
MahvelBaby: I
MahvelBaby: M
MahvelBaby: I did it. :D
MahvelBaby: okay pcg
MahvelBaby: supi is hyping up your depression in chat to have people talk to you.
pogchampguy: tell him to stop
MahvelBaby: Is this true? :c
pogchampguy: what
MahvelBaby: That your depression is bad today, lol.
MahvelBaby: 'Cause he's making a big deal out of it.
MahvelBaby: If it is, you should come to chat and meme it away. :l
pogchampguy: i left chat
MahvelBaby: pcg, x'ing out of chat is a sin
MahvelBaby: why
pogchampguy: cause chat has no point
pogchampguy: :p
MahvelBaby: I mean, technically not many things have a point.
MahvelBaby: idk why you're on twitch with that mindset, lol.
MahvelBaby: But coming back to chat will make you feel better 100%
MahvelBaby: If you're feeling down
pogchampguy: well twicth is pointless too
pogchampguy: but i have no motivation to do anything else
MahvelBaby: who will I PogChamp to with no pcg in chat :c
pogchampguy: with supi
MahvelBaby: supi sucks, he hates cardstone
MahvelBaby: :(
pogchampguy: everyone hates hs in chat Kappa
MahvelBaby: Not me, I'm a secret HS lover Kappa
MahvelBaby: pcg is it true
MahvelBaby: That you want to kill yourself. O:
MahvelBaby: It's all supi's saying in chat, lol
pogchampguy: would supi lie Kappa
MahvelBaby: Maybe, that's why I'm asking. Kappa
pogchampguy: ask supi Kappa
MahvelBaby: He'll just say "blah blah blah FeelsBadMan "
MahvelBaby: pcg, if you're serious about killing yourself.
MahvelBaby: Why would you buy a rope, lol.
MahvelBaby: Supi said you got a rope to do it.
pogchampguy: cause hanging is easiest
pogchampguy: i cant buy a gun
MahvelBaby: Technically meds or choking from gas is easier
MahvelBaby: Have you seen failed suicide attempts by hanging
pogchampguy: i looked at a guide
MahvelBaby: pcg the person who wrote the guide didn't kill themselves
MahvelBaby: master bait. :c
pogchampguy: so i should just take meds then?
MahvelBaby: You should weigh pros and cons of doing whatever.
MahvelBaby: Naturally, there are enough cons to convince you to not do it at all. PogChamp
pogchampguy: there are no cons
pogchampguy: only pros
MahvelBaby: There are only cons when living in a progressive society
MahvelBaby: If you were truly alone and nobody would miss you, then sure
MahvelBaby: You could weigh it naturally.
pogchampguy: nobody would miss me
MahvelBaby: confirmed nobody FeelsBadMan
MahvelBaby: I think suicide is okay to do if you do it the right way.
MahvelBaby: And for the right reasons.
pogchampguy: youre some random dude on the internet
MahvelBaby: And I really doubt your reasons are right.
pogchampguy: well rope is the best way i have
pogchampguy: i dont have access to meds
pogchampguy: and my reasons are right
MahvelBaby: random dude = random dude tho'.
MahvelBaby: I am a person :c
MahvelBaby: What are your reasons.
pogchampguy: life sucks
MahvelBaby: pcg are you five
MahvelBaby: PogChamp
pogchampguy: B)
MahvelBaby: People who are stable mentally think life sucks too, lol.
MahvelBaby: For someone with any kind of depression, one bad day is the equivalent to a few weeks.
MahvelBaby: Or months even.
MahvelBaby: But that goes away too, lol.
MahvelBaby: Deciding on a solution to a problem like life sucks is rly bad.
MahvelBaby: Especially if you're gonna hang yourself.
MahvelBaby: like tf
MahvelBaby: pcg, what drove you to this decision you've made today.
pogchampguy: im too stupid to be successful irl
pogchampguy: so
MahvelBaby: Like out of all the things potentially held in, what was the extra push. PogChamp
MahvelBaby: Because people with depression are just normal people.
MahvelBaby: Only their brains are physically incapable to handling specific things.
MahvelBaby: pcg have you seen trump
MahvelBaby: on your TV PogChamp
pogchampguy: donald?
MahvelBaby: no, valuetown trump
MahvelBaby: Yes, donald trump
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: looool
MahvelBaby: looool
MahvelBaby: I didn't mean to send it twice.
MahvelBaby: :c
MahvelBaby: People without a GED can make it in life atm.
MahvelBaby: Anywhere in the US.
pogchampguy: no they cant
MahvelBaby: What makes you think you're stupid enough to not make it.
pogchampguy: and i have a hs diploma anyways
MahvelBaby: Yeah they can, haha.
pogchampguy: no they cant
MahvelBaby: One of my ex's dropped out of school.
MahvelBaby: Got her GED eventually, but she did a lot of travelling before that.
MahvelBaby: On her own dime, on her own time.
pogchampguy: i dont want to travel
MahvelBaby: What do you want to do then?
pogchampguy: you know what i want to do lol
MahvelBaby: Besides killing yourself, lol
MahvelBaby: That's not a job. Or a career.
MahvelBaby: You can't go to school for that. :c
pogchampguy: well
pogchampguy: it kinda is a career
pogchampguy: since its going to take up the rest of my life
MahvelBaby: You don't study to be depressed.
MahvelBaby: And you don't get tested on it, lol.
MahvelBaby: Depression is like having a separate person inside of you.
MahvelBaby: And it's just a dick. PogChamp
pogchampguy: nah
MahvelBaby: pcg how do you let something like that wrestle control over you.
MahvelBaby: Everyone in the world fights every day, no matter how happy or sad they are.
MahvelBaby: Because depression is possible in everyone.
MahvelBaby: Chemical imbalances or not.
MahvelBaby: What made you want to stop fighting lately?
pogchampguy: theres no point
MahvelBaby: Why's that?
MahvelBaby: I feel the same way atm, but I'm stuck in a shitty town.
MahvelBaby: And I'll get out at some point, so whatever.
pogchampguy: cause its hopeless
MahvelBaby: Because?
pogchampguy: cause it is
MahvelBaby: Having cancer is hopeless, lol.
MahvelBaby: Alzheimers is hopeless.
MahvelBaby: And people who don't put them on par with depression are pretty stupid.
MahvelBaby: Because they're equally as serious, but depression is something you can have a lot of control over.
MahvelBaby: It's not as if people with cancer can take antidepressants and work really hard some days.
MahvelBaby: People with dementia can't go through a rough patch and climb out, lol.
MahvelBaby: And some people with depression can't do that.
MahvelBaby: But you have plenty of time to try.
MahvelBaby: So why don't you want to anymore?
pogchampguy: antidepressants dont work
MahvelBaby: How many have you tried?
pogchampguy: 3
MahvelBaby: They're crazy expensive, I don't envy people who have to buy them.
MahvelBaby: What's your classification, pcg?
pogchampguy: bipolar
MahvelBaby: That's all?
pogchampguy: yes
MahvelBaby: There's always more medicine to try, lol.
MahvelBaby: But what else have you tried?
MahvelBaby: You said you like to go to the gym, does lifting help any?
MahvelBaby: Or exercise in general, not trying to generalize. Kappa
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: What else do you like to do?
pogchampguy: nothing
MahvelBaby: So you exercise and shitpost and do nothing else? PogChamp
pogchampguy: :(
MahvelBaby: Plenty of people around the world do that too, lol.
MahvelBaby: Sometimes sans exercising.
MahvelBaby: Is there anything you're interested in?
MahvelBaby: What kind of jobs have you had? PogChamp
pogchampguy: none
MahvelBaby: What are you studying in school?
pogchampguy: cs
MahvelBaby: But you're not interested in it or anything, lol.
MahvelBaby: How long have you been in uni?
pogchampguy: 4 years
MahvelBaby: Close to graduating with a BS?
pogchampguy: yes
MahvelBaby: Why not see that out then? PogChamp
pogchampguy: no job prospects
MahvelBaby: You don't even have to stay on the path of cs.
MahvelBaby: People with a bachelor's of science don't always get their dream jobs. Kappa
MahvelBaby: That applies to any degree that isn't engineering tho'.
MahvelBaby: You're talking about killing yourself before finding a job.
MahvelBaby: Before getting a degree.
MahvelBaby: Do you live in the dorms of your uni? PogChamp
MahvelBaby: Or an apartment complex?
pogchampguy: apartment
MahvelBaby: Single?
MahvelBaby: Or shared?
pogchampguy: shared
MahvelBaby: No independent living yet?
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: There's a ton of stuff you've yet to experience, and you're ready to cut it short.
pogchampguy: nah
MahvelBaby: What kind of bad day did you have to set that off? PogChamp
MahvelBaby: Or rather.
pogchampguy: you talking to me set it off Kappa
MahvelBaby: How long has this been weighing on you.
pogchampguy: forever
MahvelBaby: pcg that is a lie, supi said you felt like that before Kappa
MahvelBaby: Don't ruse me fam Kappa
MahvelBaby: When did you get diagnosed?
pogchampguy: 5 months ago
MahvelBaby: And how long were you dealing with this before then?
pogchampguy: forever
MahvelBaby: So you've lasted literally forever. PogChamp
pogchampguy: dank
MahvelBaby: You were depressed when Jesus fucked off, now 5 months after being diagnosed. Kappa
MahvelBaby: You wanna do this. Kappa
pogchampguy: memes
MahvelBaby: What changed?
pogchampguy: nothing
MahvelBaby: Memes will change your life, guaranteeeeeeed
pogchampguy: nope
MahvelBaby: So you've always felt like, "Today may be the [insert choice of suicidal method] day"?
pogchampguy: o.o
MahvelBaby: You've dealt with it all this time, what made you want to get the rope recently?
pogchampguy: time
MahvelBaby: What do you mean, lol.
pogchampguy: huh?
MahvelBaby: What's time got to do with the decision making? O:
pogchampguy: cause eventually you get tired of feeling a certain way
MahvelBaby: Yeah, I get you. But this method though, to fix it?
MahvelBaby: This way?
pogchampguy: its the only way
MahvelBaby: You're not gonna feel that certain way forever.
pogchampguy: yes i am
MahvelBaby: You'll have good days and bad days. More bad than good, probably.
MahvelBaby: Depends. :D
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: Yeah yooo.
MahvelBaby: When's the last time you had a good day?
pogchampguy: never
MahvelBaby: I'm not gonna say you're exaggerating, 'cause depression can definitely make you feel like that.
MahvelBaby: But I'm pretty sure you've had a good day before. Kapa
MahvelBaby: Kappa *
MahvelBaby: You have to live to get a job. To work, and see how working feels with your depression.
MahvelBaby: You have to live to get your B.S and see what you want to do after.
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: You have to live in case you have actually never had a good day, lol.
MahvelBaby: Why would you want to end it all without having a good day. PogChamp
MahvelBaby: I do believe you've had one, but.
MahvelBaby: Don't you wonder how that feels?
MahvelBaby: To have your depression be at bay for a while?
MahvelBaby: And feel normal?
pogchampguy: no
MahvelBaby: Then what do you feel, pcg.
MahvelBaby: From what I gather, you're a sad fiesta atm
MahvelBaby: And you're trying your hardest to not go back on your decision to kill yourself fairly soon, lol.
MahvelBaby: But you will always have time to.
MahvelBaby: There are people in their 50's and 60's with bipolar depression.
MahvelBaby: I would personally want to do it around my 50's.
MahvelBaby: I'm not saying your decision is wrong.
MahvelBaby: But there are plenty of better decisions for you to make right now.
pogchampguy: no
New Whispers
MahvelBaby: You haven't even been in uni for that long.
MahvelBaby: Are you in debt?
MahvelBaby: I can't tell if you're still here or not. BabyRage
MahvelBaby: If you are and don't feel like talking, that's okay too.
MahvelBaby: I'm not gonna say you can talk to me about anything, 'cause I dunno about all that. Kappa
MahvelBaby: But people do care about you. I do, and I don't even know you. PogChamp
MahvelBaby: Depression can warp and lie to you, so it can feel like nobody cares.
MahvelBaby: But someone always does.
MahvelBaby: So if you ever feel like talking, I can listen.
MahvelBaby: And definitely don't kill yourself today. Or with a rope, looool
MahvelBaby: Talk to me tomorrow too. Come up with some better ways. And I'll tell you how they suck too. Kappa
MahvelBaby: Times like this make me wish I could have stayed in uni longer to pursue my master's in social work
MahvelBaby: To be able to properly help you, but I can help you as a friend just fine if you let me.
MahvelBaby: Anyway, talk to you later. Or tomorrow. If I can't talk to you tomorrow, I'm gonna be really pissed. PogChamp