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deathproofpony

Martini 22

Aug 19th, 2012
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  1. >you are Martini, a key lime green fluffy pony with a dark green mane
  2. >your job is to give special hugs to mares and then you get yummy treats
  3. >the human who takes care of you, BIG MAN, got taken away by Blue Uniform Men yesterday
  4. >Frank-who-you-never-see has been taking care of you and the other ponies instead
  5. >”Rise and shine, shitters. Time to go to work.”
  6. >Frank feeds the ponies and cleans their cages
  7. >”mistah fwank when bigman come back?”
  8. >”I don’t know. The guy who owned Cadence or whatever is supposed to be some big time lawyer.”
  9. >he pauses
  10. >”Why the fuck am I talking to a pony?”
  11. >Frank finishes cleaning cages and looks at a paper hanging on the wall
  12. >”Time to get it on, girls. Brownie, you’re first.”
  13. >Frank takes Brownie, who squirms a bit, from her cage and puts her in the Special Hugs Nest
  14. >next he takes you from your cage and puts you in the Special Hugs Nest.
  15. >”Do your thing, Martini.”
  16. >you start nuzzling the fluff around brownie’s neck, then work your way back to the fluff around her groin.
  17. >there’s a knock at the door in the other room
  18. >”You two have fun. I’ll be right back.”
  19. >Frank disappears for a minute and comes back with a basket covered in a blankie.
  20. >he leaves it on The Table
  21. >”What the hell…”
  22. >Frank leaves again - you can hear him running around outside.
  23. >”Hey! Wait! Hey!”
  24. >the blankie over the basket flips open and a silvery grey fluffy pops out. he’s an earth pony.
  25. >”hewoo! fwens?”
  26. >”new fwens!”
  27. >you momentarily forget about giving Brownie special hugs. You’re just happy to see another flufy pony.
  28. >”wha yoo name?”
  29. >”me name gwost.”
  30. >”me name mawtini and dis bwownie.”
  31. >”hey bwownie, wassup.”
  32. >”new fwen?”
  33. >”yah new fwen. move ovah, mawtini.”
  34. >Ghost pushes you off Brownie and starts mounting her himself
  35. >”ork ork ork!”
  36. >”gwost, you soun funneh when give special hugs! but dis my jawb! mawtini no wann get in twouble!”
  37. >you shove Ghost out of the way and continue with Brownie yourself
  38. >”enf enf enf”
  39. >”stupit fwuffy! wet a weal colt show you how done!”
  40. >Ghost shoves you away again.
  41. >”ORK ORK ORK!”
  42. >”what in the fuck is this shit?”
  43. >”fwank dis gwost. he twyin keep me fwom givin special huggies!”
  44. >”He is, huh.”
  45. >with one deft move, Frank grabs Ghost by the tail and flicks him across the room into the sink
  46. >*sploosh*
  47. >the sink, half-full of soapy water to give baths, cushions his landing.
  48. >”owie. huwty fanny.”
  49. >”I’ll hurt your fanny.”
  50. >Frank picks up some paper on the basket
  51. >”Mr. Breeder, take care of Ghost. He’s a nice enough pony but he’s always horny and kept raping my cats. And my guinea pig. Signed, Anon.”
  52. >”Fucking guinea pig rapist. You sick son of a bitch.”
  53. >”Frank goes over to Ghost and picks him up by the scruff of his neck
  54. >”put back in wawa. nice and wawm. gwost was weady to shoot his woad.”
  55. >”Uh huh.”
  56. >Frank throws Ghost back onto The Table
  57. >he brandishes a big cutty knife
  58. >”See… the problem is that I don’t need any more earth pony colts. And if you’re going to hump everything in the house, no one will adopt you.”
  59. >Ghost starts humping Frank’s sleeve
  60. >”ork ork ork!”
  61. >”Enough of that.”
  62. >with one swift stroke, Frank beheads Ghost and scrapes the remains into the trash can
  63. >your mouth is agape. Brownie screams.
  64. >”You two shut up and finish.”
  65. >Brownie, now crying, lets you finish. you feel the good feel and climb off her
  66. >Frank puts you both back in your cages
  67. >”You don’t like guinea pigs, do you, Martini?”
  68. >”no mista fwank mawtini no wike piggies.”
  69. >”Good boy.”
  70. >he feeds you and Brownie a jelly.
  71. >Mister Frank can be a nice man but sometimes he’s scary.
  72. >you wish BIG MAN and Frank didn’t have to be scary sometimes.
  73. >you hope BIG MAN comes back soon
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