Weed jokes 041615

My father has arthritis, so I have a chance of developing it myself. I used to see this as a bummer, but now that there is a legitimate chance of medical marijuana being legalized in my home state, I’m starting to hope that I do have arthritis. I don’t want to have to go through great lengths to get a weed card. I feel like such the stereotypical ineffectual stoner sometimes, like, I was going to go to this pro legalization rally recently, but then I got high.

Every time I don’t get selected for a random drug screening at work I feel like I just wasted 3 months of my life. Think of all the drugs I could have been doing!

I have this friend who believes that she has a ghost that follows her everywhere she moves, relentlessly haunting her. Her main reasons for believing this are that she sometimes thinks she sees things in her peripheries and her stuff always disappears and turns up somewhere other than where she remembers placing it. When she told me this I got chills, because I realized I must have a ghost haunting me. This whole time I just thought I was a stoner. My ghost must be a stoner too, because she only shows up when I’m smoking out. Yes my ghost is a she; don’t be sexist.