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Kicked out the window, Kefka Edition

WindStrike Sep 17th, 2019 108 Never
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  1. *   Ramsey teleports in holding a big bowl of spagetti.  "Hey guys."
  2. <Darte> "Hey.  Eatin' spaghetti in the river, eh? Classy."
  3. <DM>    -=INSANITY OF DOOM, STARTO!=-
  4. <DM>    *Kefka appears before you.*
  5. <Kefka> it grows in bunches
  6. <DM>    *Three of him- god no. He urges you to roll your initiative.*
  7. <Ramsey>    $init 1d10
  8. <Navi>  Ramsey: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
  9. <Darte> $init 1d11
  10. <Navi>  Darte: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
  11. <Kefka> $init 1d10
  12. <Navi>  Kefka: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
  13. <Kefka> Wow.
  14. <DM>    $init 1d10
  15. <Navi>  DM: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
  16. <Gurloz>    $init 1d13
  17. <Navi>  Gurloz: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
  18. <DM>    there we go
  19. <DM>    $init s
  20. <Navi>  The Battle has started! Turn Order: Gurloz (8), Darte (4), Kefka (4), Ramsey (2) and DM (2).
  21. <Kefka> Cukeman not everyone, I know the place
  22. <Gurloz>    You forgot someone.
  23. <DM>    stats - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=236&pid=505#pid505
  24. <DM>    I did?
  25. <Sephiroth> $init 2d10
  26. <Navi>  Sephiroth: You may join this battle with $init join.
  27. <DM>    doh
  28. <DM>    resetting the thing
  29. <DM>    $init r
  30. <Navi>  DM: The bot has been reset.
  31. <Sephiroth> $init 2d10
  32. <Gurloz>    You forgot someone.
  33. <Navi>  Sephiroth: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3 and 8.
  34. <DM>    kay, reroll that, derpity
  35. <Gurloz>    $init 1d13
  36. <Navi>  Gurloz: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 5.
  37. <Kefka> $init 1d10
  38. <Navi>  Kefka: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
  39. <Kefka> win
  40. <DM>    $init 1d10
  41. <Navi>  DM: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
  42. *   DM pokes Darte and Ramsey with rerolls on initiative.
  43. <Darte> $init 1d11
  44. <Navi>  Darte: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 1.
  45. <Darte> :'<
  46. <DM>    lol
  47. <Darte> navi you are broken
  48. <Darte> go fix yourself
  49. <Gurloz>    lol
  50. <DM>    good thing Navi doesn't randomly say stuff... that'd be frightening
  51. <Ramsey>    LISTEN!
  52. <Darte> nawp
  53. <Darte> Not gonna get in a Culex fight with Navi
  54. <Darte> not gonna happen
  55. <DM>    so yeah Ramsey, reroll $init, since I screwed up, lol
  56. <Ramsey>    $init 1d10
  57. <Kefka> Well, sort of.
  58. <Navi>  Ramsey: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
  59. <DM>    $init s
  60. <Navi>  The Battle has started! Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  61. <Kefka> how do I get one for the other servers?
  62. <DM>    dear god, it starts with the kick
  63. *   X_X is now known as KefkaRolls
  64. *   KefkaRolls will be rolling the dice.
  65. *   DM pokes Sephiroth for a kick.
  66. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  67. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed somewhere. Henceforth, you are expelled from this estimable enclave, your presence is invalid vacate, and behold forthwith! And take with you... A boot to the head. «14,413»)
  68. <DM>    *Kefka uses Boot to the Head on DM! (Roll Coura- oh wait, you have none)*
  69. <Kefka> Oh.
  70. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
  71. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  72. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
  73. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  74. <Kefka> And the bastard kept denying it even though he has the stupid emo haircuts
  75. <DM>    AH HAH, A REDIRECT!
  76. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  77. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 20. Total: 20.
  78. <Kefka> Soundtrack is < 1GB, Compressor is < 400MB
  79. <KefkaRolls>    $30d10
  80. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 3, 10, 3, 5, 9, 9, 3, 2, 7, 10, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, 3, 10, 6, 2, 5, 9, 6, 4, 9, 7, 4, 4, 7 and 3. Total: 166. Successes: 20.
  81. <Kefka> cause I have boobs
  82. <DM>    *Kefka's boobs are added to his boot to the head attack on DM. DM is scarred for life and takes 10 damage.*
  83. <Kefka> next to Thundercats
  84. <DM>    90h
  85. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
  86. <Sephiroth> It wasn't an ambulance.
  87. <Sephiroth> That was the Boot to the Head, ... after a short delay.
  88. *   Sephiroth runs.
  89. <DM>    well, before that, it was a random ambulance... okay, if it stacks, I'mma just override, so... boot to the head it is
  90. *   Ramsey just eats his spagetti.
  91. <DM>    $1d5
  92. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 3. Total: 3.
  93. <DM>    *Kefka uses Boot to the Head... on himself!*
  94. <Kefka> Raw Full!
  95. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Raw Full means.... I have no idea what the heck that means.*
  96. <Kefka> WORST ACTING EVER.
  97. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  98. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 19. Total: 19.
  99. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  100. <Kefka> I see.
  101. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 11. Total: 11.
  102. <Kefka> its real
  103. <KefkaRolls>    $29d10
  104. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 29 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 2, 3, 6, 8, 3, 6, 5, 4, 2, 7, 1, 10, 3, 2, 6, 4, 6, 2, 7, 3, 2, 6, 6, 5, 8, 9, 2 and 3. Total: 138. Successes: 16.
  105. <KefkaRolls>    $21d10
  106. <Kefka> how we travel at near light speed and defeat our enemies with invisible weapons
  107. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 3, 9, 7, 8, 3, 7, 10, 10, 2, 3, 6, 1, 4, 6, 4, 3, 5, 2, 3 and 7. Total: 110. Successes: 13.
  108. <Kefka> no vowels.
  109. *   KefkaRolls hits himself for 2 damage and recovers that damage..... okay, there is zero point to Kefka throwing a boot at himself.
  110. <DM>    $turns
  111. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  112. <Kefka> wow
  113. <Ramsey>    "Can I just say I have no clue what's going on?  The guy typing this out doesn't know either."
  114. <DM>    *You are fighting Kefka. If you lose, well... people die if they are killed.*
  115. <Kefka> I don't get laid often enough in my dreams. I'm trying to change that. :(
  116. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka is attempting to get laid. If you fail in melee combat with him, he will marry you.*
  117. <Kefka> ;[
  118. *   Gurloz rofls
  119. <DM>    (so yeah Gurloz, you're up)
  120. *   Gurloz grabs his Archangel's Blessing and beats DM upside the head with it. (Roll Courage!)
  121. <Gurloz>    $24d10
  122. <Navi>  Gurloz: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 6, 6, 5, 7, 5, 7, 5, 1, 2, 7, 3, 6, 6, 5, 3, 8, 5, 7, 3, 10, 10, 8 and 7. Total: 140. Successes: 21.
  123. <DM>    ow... agony
  124. <Gurloz>    $endturn
  125. <Navi>  Gurloz has ended their turn. Ramsey: It is your turn now.
  126. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  127. <Kefka> Location confirmed. Sending supplies.
  128. <DM>    21 / 2 = 10.5 rounded = 11 damage
  129. <DM>    79h
  130. <KefkaRolls>    $1d5
  131. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 3. Total: 3.
  132. <Kefka> *lime* looks like the letters are crashing to the ground and making little asterisk dust clouds
  133. <DM>    *Kefka sends supplies to himself.... except he's still at full.*
  134. <Kefka> That sounds interesting
  135. <Darte> Wait, are we beating up on DM or KEfka?
  136. <Kefka> I believe I can reverse the polarity by attenuating my axial servo.
  137. <DM>    both
  138. <Darte> o.o
  139. <Darte> save us all
  140. <DM>    If Kefka fires something directly at me (as a result of $torture), I redirect it to someone randomly.
  141. <Kefka> I just went on an unrelated tanget
  142. <Darte> an overbearing madman
  143. <Darte> and his bot
  144. <Darte> :P
  145. <DM>    outside of that, I can't do anything
  146. <Darte> kk
  147. <DM>    relinking the stats - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=236&pid=505#pid505
  148. <Darte> ooooh I see why you have the bot named Kefkarolls
  149. <Darte> hahahah
  150. <Kefka> .. awseome
  151. <KefkaRolls>    hi?
  152. <DM>    (fyi, your hearts and magic should be back at maximum prior to the start of this battle)
  153. *   Sephiroth pokes Ramsey, you're up.
  154. *   Ramsey passes Darte his bowl of spagetti.  "Hold this.  I find out you ate one noodle and you'll feed Mr. Slicey."
  155. <Sephiroth> http://www.sephiroth.ws/stuff/screens/FFXIVLauncher_2013-08-24_19-53-47.png
  156. <Darte> >_>
  157. <Darte> <_<
  158. <Kefka> Just gonna level Renoki up slightly.
  159. *   Darte consumes two noodles instead.
  160. <DM>    *Renoki has been leveled up to Level 50. ... it doesn't matter, because he's not here.*
  161. *   DM throws a nerfbat at Renoki, dropping his level back down to whatever it was.*
  162. <Ramsey>    "Speaking of Mr. Slicey..."  Ramsey draws his scythe.  "FEED MR. SLICEY CLOWN SHOWS!!!!!"  He charges at Kefka with the scythe.  (Roll courage)
  163. <Kefka> I'm now off to play Days of Ruin.
  164. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka is attempting to play Days of Ruin during this attack. His dice when defending are reduced by 5.*
  165. <Kefka> Whatever. Don't care.
  166. <Kefka> $1d30
  167. <Navi>  Kefka: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 12. Total: 12.
  168. <Kefka> yes he is.
  169. <Ramsey>    $28d10
  170. <Navi>  Ramsey: You rolled 28 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 1, 6, 10, 10, 10, 9, 2, 5, 7, 7, 2, 10, 2, 6, 10, 3, 3, 3, 4, 2, 4, 7, 7, 7, 9, 6 and 3. Total: 160. Successes: 22.
  171. <KefkaRolls>    $17d10
  172. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, 7, 9, 5, 10, 9, 6, 5, 8, 9, 2, 5 and 7. Total: 108. Successes: 16.
  173. <Kefka> Oh y ea
  174. <DM>    *Ramsey's scythe meets Kefka head-on (APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FORHEAD), dealing 6 + 2 = 8 damage!*
  175. <Kefka> By the way, in case you don't know (probably because I haven't actually said anything yet)...
  176. *   Darte hands Ramsey the bowl.  "Hope I did you proud.  I didn't eat one noodle, just like you asked."
  177. <Kefka> 42h, 1k magic
  178. <Darte> OOH OOH I KNOW
  179. *   DM totally forgot to roll affinity overload... doin' that now.
  180. *   Ramsey begins to count each individual noodle.
  181. <Darte> IS IT LIGHT OF JUDGMENT TIME?
  182. <KefkaRolls>    $1d6
  183. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 6 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
  184. <Kefka> Only disadvantage to the new one is the distance from the spawn point and everybody else.
  185. <Darte> Do we get to join the Cult of Kefka?
  186. <Kefka> wouldn't y be - y
  187. <Ramsey>    $endturn
  188. <Navi>  Ramsey has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
  189. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  190. <Kefka> um
  191. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  192. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a puddle of horse piss! «14,414»)
  193. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  194. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
  195. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  196. <Kefka> hmm, also
  197. <Kefka> oh
  198. <DM>    *Kefka has Shadow Level 5!*
  199. <Kefka> like
  200. <DM>    *FIELD EFFECT - You're standing in a shallow, yellow lake. This lake is quite acidic and you feel the burn. Moving around will cause you to take 2 burn damage.*
  201. <DM>    *NOTE - Horses are dangerous. Don't piss them off.*
  202. <Ramsey>    "HEY THERE'S TWO NOODLES MISSING!!!"  Ramsey glares at Darte.
  203. <Darte> "Y-you said not to eat one.  I thought you'd be proud of me if I managed more than that. :'<"
  204. *   KefkaRolls uses $lovecalc on Ramsey and Darte! (Roll Wisdom)
  205. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  206. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 26. Total: 26.
  207. <Kefka> I had to recollect stuff.
  208. <DM>    ouch, this roll is gonna be high....
  209. <KefkaRolls>    $lovecalc Ramsey, Darte
  210. <Kefka> The chance of a successful sexual relationship between Ramsey and Darte is 97%.
  211. <Darte> O.O
  212. *   Ramsey swings Mr. Slicey at KefkaRolls dice roll.
  213. *   Darte has quit (Quit: Leaving)
  214. <KefkaRolls>    $36d10
  215. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 5, 2, 10, 10, 8, 8, 10, 9, 9, 1, 6, 3, 1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 10, 4, 7, 1, 2, 5, 6, 6, 4, 2, 10, 4, 4, 10, 1, 9 and 7. Total: 207. Successes: 28.
  216. <Kefka> SHIT
  217. *   Darte (~KenoguLab@c-76-28-207-252.hsd1.wa.comcast.net) has joined #zurpg
  218. <DM>    (successes were 28)
  219. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
  220. <DM>    $1d5
  221. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
  222. *   Ramsey decides to just end the world and slices at the ZURPG game.  "I'LL TAKE IT ALL DOWN WITH ME!!!"
  223. *   DM redirects Kefka's boot to the head to Darte! (Roll Courage)
  224. <DM>    *The lovecalc didn't do a thing, it seems. I guess 97% is a good thing.*
  225. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  226. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 12. Total: 12.
  227. <Kefka> and a life
  228. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka's boot will give you an extra life if it hits....... what.*
  229. <Kefka> *yawn*
  230. <KefkaRolls>    $22d10
  231. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 3, 6, 8, 3, 3, 5, 2, 8, 3, 2, 8, 10, 9, 8, 4, 6, 7, 4, 4, 2 and 4. Total: 119. Successes: 13.
  232. <Kefka> OBAMANATION <3 <3
  233. <DM>    wut
  234. <Darte> $39d10
  235. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 39 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 5, 8, 10, 5, 4, 8, 5, 6, 6, 4, 6, 10, 6, 3, 2, 4, 7, 4, 1, 5, 9, 8, 4, 1, 1, 3, 2, 10, 2, 4, 4, 5, 1, 8, 10, 4, 5 and 4. Total: 197. Successes: 24.
  236. <Sephiroth> 39d10? O__O'
  237. <DM>    *The boot misses, and Darte is rewarded ice cream for the remainder of the battle. You recover 4 hearts and magic at the start of each round.*
  238. <DM>    $turns
  239. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  240. <Kefka> lmao
  241. <DM>    $endturn
  242. <Navi>  DM has ended Kefka's turn. DM: It is your turn now.
  243. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  244. -Navi-  To end your turn in #zurpg, use $endturn.
  245. <Kefka> while also balancing a seal on his nose
  246. <Kefka> erfect!
  247. <DM>    $1d5
  248. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
  249. <DM>    $fortune Darte
  250. <Kefka> Darte: When you speak honestly and openly, others truly listen to you.
  251. <DM>    *DARTE EFFECT - If you tell a lie, Navi's dice rolls for you are not valid.*
  252. <Darte> i have lots of courage
  253. <DM>    $endturn
  254. <Navi>  DM has ended their turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
  255. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  256. <Kefka> seph u on?
  257. *   Sephiroth whacks Kefka upside the head with a homerun bat. *WHAM*
  258. <DM>    *Team Kefka is blasting off again!*
  259. <Kefka> it's a big work in progress
  260. <Darte> ahahahaha
  261. <Darte> $fortune Kefka
  262. <Kefka> Kefka: Someone is speaking well of you.
  263. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - The act of him blasting off again is a big work in progress. In 10 rounds, he will automatically die.*
  264. <Kefka> play y 6
  265. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT 2 - Darte speaks well of you. You accept this, and you can no longer target Darte. This lasts until the start of the third round.*
  266. <Kefka> Know what'd be really really evil?
  267. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
  268. <DM>    really
  269. <DM>    REALLY
  270. <Kefka> You've never seen.
  271. <Darte> $endturn
  272. <Navi>  Darte has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
  273. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  274. <Kefka> yum.
  275. <Sephiroth> ...
  276. <Sephiroth> that.
  277. <Sephiroth> was WIN.
  278. <Sephiroth> ... ... .....
  279. *   You've invited Darte to #zuchat (castleheck.tx.us.lunarnet.org)
  280. *   You've invited Ramsey to #zuchat (castleheck.tx.us.lunarnet.org)
  281. *   DM just accepts the boot to the head. It's too evil to redirect.
  282. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  283. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 23. Total: 23.
  284. <Kefka> lolwut
  285. <KefkaRolls>    $33d10
  286. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 4, 4, 1, 2, 8, 9, 2, 5, 8, 5, 7, 10, 6, 10, 3, 7, 4, 8, 8, 7, 7, 8, 4, 10, 1, 4, 9, 6, 8, 3, 1 and 7. Total: 192. Successes: 24.
  287. <Kefka> ;P
  288. *   DM takes another 12 damage.
  289. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  290. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in front of Kefka's Ambulance. I wonder where its going? «14,415»)
  291. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  292. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
  293. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  294. <Kefka> CUZ YOU'RE NOT.
  295. <DM>    ..............
  296. *   DM redirects the ambulance...
  297. <DM>    $1d4
  298. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  299. <DM>    *The ambulance turns around and proceeds to run over Ramsey! (Roll Power)
  300. <Ramsey>    I CALL HAX!!
  301. <Ramsey>    $17d10
  302. <Navi>  Ramsey: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 5, 7, 6, 10, 7, 2, 1, 7, 5, 6, 3, 6, 5, 8, 10 and 1. Total: 92. Successes: 14.
  303. <DM>    67h
  304. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  305. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 14. Total: 14.
  306. <Kefka> 3G is really slow here, wow.
  307. <KefkaRolls>    $24d10
  308. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 9, 5, 4, 5, 8, 7, 6, 8, 6, 3, 2, 10, 2, 3, 3, 9, 4, 7, 2, 3, 5, 6 and 2. Total: 122. Successes: 14.
  309. <Kefka> okay
  310. <DM>    ROLLOFF
  311. <Ramsey>    $17d10
  312. <KefkaRolls>    $24d10
  313. <Navi>  Ramsey: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 7, 9, 9, 2, 4, 9, 2, 4, 3, 5, 10, 3, 5, 8, 2 and 2. Total: 93. Successes: 10.
  314. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 7, 10, 5, 5, 6, 6, 9, 2, 1, 5, 7, 4, 4, 10, 9, 1, 5, 6, 7, 3, 1, 10 and 6. Total: 130. Successes: 19.
  315. <Kefka> The jar shards there are probably suitable for your tileset. They're pretty simple.
  316. <DM>    *Kefka tries to run Ramsey over, but his 3G network is really slow, so... Kefka bumps Ramsey with his ambulance for 1 neutral damage.*
  317. <Kefka> Sunset Link, now with 50%
  318. <DM>    *Gurloz time!*
  319. *   DM is banned from using $help, since that'd allow him to use redirect infinitely.
  320. *   Gurloz summons an orb of light into the field.
  321. <Gurloz>    13h, 10m.
  322. <Gurloz>    $endturn
  323. <Navi>  Gurloz has ended their turn. Ramsey: It is your turn now.
  324. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  325. <Kefka> i never said who would die
  326. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Someone is going to die, but Kefka hasn't said who. Just remember folks... people die if they are killed!*
  327. <Kefka> I'm not talking the backwards fuck story
  328. <Darte> "Tommy, don't kill friends."
  329. <Gurloz>    *FIELD EFFECT - Illuminate is active, everyone loses 3 dice when attacking.
  330. <Darte> Best.  Line.  Ever.
  331. *   Ramsey Flings the Orb of Patches at the DM.
  332. <DM>    NANIDOKEN?!?!?!
  333. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
  334. <Ramsey>    $36d10
  335. <Navi>  Ramsey: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 8, 8, 9, 5, 1, 2, 8, 6, 3, 5, 6, 1, 5, 5, 8, 6, 5, 7, 9, 5, 1, 3, 4, 8, 4, 6, 1, 10, 7, 5, 4, 9, 8, 9 and 9. Total: 208. Successes: 27.
  336. <DM>    (uhhh, I don't see this item in your profile, what's it do?)
  337. <Ramsey>    (You should know, you sent me the PM with it)
  338. <Gurloz>    (How is he rolling 36d10)?
  339. <Darte> DUN DUN DUN
  340. <Ramsey>    Requires Level 10
  341. <Ramsey>    A floating orb controlled with one hand that can be flung at a target or used to alter your stats.
  342. <Ramsey>    Fling!:
  343. <Ramsey>    The orb is flung at a target at high speeds in a fit of rage, throwing the target off balance.
  344. <Ramsey>    Roll your Courage dice +4 vs. targets' Courage dice
  345. <Ramsey>    If the attack is successful, target's next attack is nerfed and lowered by 4 dice.
  346. <Ramsey>    (I also get an extra 3 to attack rolls cause of my armor)
  347. <Gurloz>    $calc 29+4-3
  348. <Kefka> 29+4-3 = 30
  349. <Gurloz>    $calc 30+3
  350. <Kefka> 30+3 = 33
  351. <DM>    oh right, that was sent via PM, though you never actually acquired the item... well, since I never gave clarification of acquiring the item, I'll let this pass and say you have the orb for this battle
  352. <Gurloz>    (Illuminate is active, everyone loses 3 dice when attacking, deduct $3d10 from that roll.)
  353. <Ramsey>    (See this is what happens when I don't play for several sessions cause of work)
  354. <DM>    (lol)
  355. <Darte> btw, name should totally be Patchwork orb
  356. <DM>    it's actually called Orb of Patch Notes
  357. <DM>    $3d10
  358. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 8 and 8. Total: 19. Successes: 2.
  359. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
  360. <DM>    42h
  361. *   Kefka nullifies the ambulance.
  362. <DM>    $turns
  363. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  364. <Kefka> and with the 8600 it jumped to 5.7
  365. <Darte> ahh
  366. <Ramsey>    (This is the first Saturday I've had off since I start)
  367. <Ramsey>    $endturn
  368. <Navi>  Ramsey has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
  369. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  370. <Kefka> Not what Ive heard/done
  371. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  372. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in another window, which in turn gets you kicked out the window again. Wait... what? «14,416»)
  373. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a cave! «14,417»)
  374. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  375. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
  376. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  377. <Kefka> It hogs a lot less ram, too
  378. <Kefka> Do think in terms of the policemen and being adequately prepared,
  379. <DM>    *You're all in a dark, gloomy cave. Oh wait, orb of light is illuminating things. So nothing is happening. Boring.*
  380. *   DM requests Sephiroth for another kick.
  381. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  382. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in Hyrule! «14,418»)
  383. *   DM face-palms.
  384. *   DM pokes Sephiroth for yet another....... cause that one is useless, lol.
  385. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  386. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a bio containment chamber where you will be exposed to Phazon! «14,419»)
  387. <DM>    there we go- HOLY CRAP
  388. <DM>    *On your turn, you can choose to instead get away from the phazon. Otherwise, you will take 4 burn damage (neutral).*
  389. <DM>    annnd forgot to roll affinities again....
  390. <DM>    $1d5
  391. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  392. <DM>    *Kefka has Fire 5 and Shadow 5!*
  393. <Kefka> I dunno, I like EXP
  394. <DM>    *Kefka casts Feeding Darkness!*
  395. <Kefka> Thank you
  396. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka thanks the DM. DM will not redirect the next attack from Kefka aimed him.*
  397. <Kefka> "mainstream" music is becoming a thing of the past
  398. <DM>    CURSE YOU KEFKA FOR THANKING ME
  399. <Kefka> 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
  400. <DM>    $endturn
  401. <Navi>  DM has ended Kefka's turn. DM: It is your turn now.
  402. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  403. -Navi-  To end your turn in #zurpg, use $endturn.
  404. <Kefka> Probably. :-/
  405. <Kefka> [19:28] <Culex> *counts*
  406. <DM>    $1d4
  407. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 3. Total: 3.
  408. <DM>    $fortune Ramsey
  409. <Kefka> Ramsey: The person who will not stand for something will fall for anything.
  410. <Ramsey>    "What if I won't stand for falling?"
  411. <DM>    *RAMSEY EFFECT - Paradox occured. Currently processing existence. I have no idea what's happening right now.*
  412. <DM>    $endturn
  413. <Navi>  DM has ended their turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
  414. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  415. <Kefka> I have magic powers.
  416. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka's Wisdom is increased by 5 from his magic powers!*
  417. <Kefka> Sure, I could start it up. I may idle for bits of time at points though.
  418. <Darte> Stands in place and fires his clone arrows!
  419. *   DM and Kefka took 4 burn damage from the phazon, derp.
  420. <DM>    38h
  421. <Darte> $34d10
  422. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 4, 2, 6, 10, 6, 5, 8, 4, 8, 10, 4, 2, 3, 3, 9, 10, 3, 6, 1, 9, 3, 10, 6, 9, 10, 9, 5, 9, 1, 10, 10, 1 and 7. Total: 207. Successes: 28.
  423. <Darte> (courage)
  424. <DM>    (at who?)
  425. <Darte> Kefka.
  426. <Kefka> Jeez, how long did it take them to model that? O_o
  427. <DM>    *KEFKA DEFENSE EFFECT - I dunno, how long did it take you to roll?8
  428. <Kefka> I got my DSi back today
  429. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  430. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 15. Total: 15.
  431. <Kefka> and Ky's an idiot.
  432. <KefkaRolls>    $25d10
  433. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 6, 7, 5, 3, 7, 3, 7, 7, 1, 4, 9, 9, 9, 5, 7, 6, 9, 8, 3, 9, 5, 10, 7 and 7. Total: 154. Successes: 20.
  434. <Kefka> "i'm going to get a lawyer and take care of this the legal way because i side with JUSTICE"
  435. <Darte> $22d10
  436. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 9, 9, 9, 8, 4, 7, 5, 6, 2, 1, 3, 9, 1, 10, 2, 3, 2, 2, 2, 3 and 4. Total: 106. Successes: 11.
  437. <Darte> (Wisdom)
  438. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  439. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
  440. <Kefka> Agorakin is very similar to Bass, but in a "Holy Guardian" sort of way.
  441. <KefkaRolls>    $15d10
  442. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 5, 8, 2, 4, 7, 1, 6, 6, 10, 1, 6, 8, 3 and 7. Total: 78. Successes: 10.
  443. <Kefka> Yay new chest for my priest!! I have +40 to spell damage and +46 to healing... almost ready for the t6 raids j/k
  444. <DM>    *Kefka takes another 8 damage.*
  445. <Kefka> Wow. Learn to type, DM.
  446. *   DM has Typo Fever- WHAT?!
  447. <DM>    HWOAGFO
  448. <DM>    WHAT
  449. *   Darte takes 4 burn damage.
  450. <DM>    Keafkfwe a I heahete you
  451. <Darte> 15h14m
  452. <Darte> $endturn
  453. <Navi>  Darte has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
  454. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  455. <Kefka> You can get RE5 for 19.99 if you trade in 2 games that are on either of those 3 lists.
  456. *   Gurloz siphons 1 magic from all enemies.
  457. *   Darte gains 4h4m
  458. <Darte> 19h15m
  459. <Gurloz>    13h, 11m.
  460. <DM>    *Kefka is at 30h | 999 magic*
  461. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  462. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a businessman! Is that your dad? «14,420»)
  463. <Kefka> So you have NO idea when it's coming
  464. <Darte> Mmm ice-cream
  465. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  466. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
  467. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  468. <Kefka> :(
  469. <DM>    <Kefka> So you have NO idea when it's coming --> noe i dontae
  470. <Kefka> Oh, okay.
  471. <DM>    *FIELD EFFECT - You can now make deals with me to gain effects. Business is good.*
  472. <DM>    *Feeding Darkness and Illuminate simultaneously go off.... what.*
  473. <DM>    *Illuminate first.*
  474. <DM>    $1d4
  475. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  476. <DM>    *Kefka has Fire 5, Nature 5, and Shadow 5.*
  477. <Kefka> stuffs
  478. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
  479. <Gurloz>    $30d10
  480. <Navi>  Gurloz: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 4, 3, 7, 7, 2, 7, 1, 10, 1, 7, 3, 6, 9, 2, 4, 8, 5, 7, 4, 10, 4, 1, 6, 1, 9, 3, 1 and 6. Total: 143. Successes: 16.
  481. *   DM accepts the ambulance- oh god dangit.
  482. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  483. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
  484. <Kefka> this is why it doesn't finish itself
  485. <KefkaRolls>    $19d10
  486. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 3, 3, 10, 5, 5, 1, 10, 6, 3, 6, 9, 1, 3, 8, 10, 4, 4 and 7. Total: 101. Successes: 13.
  487. <Kefka> PROSPEKT. I HAVE SEEN YOUR FUTURE.
  488. *   KefkaRolls deals 13 damage to DM with his ambulance.
  489. <DM>    25h
  490. <DM>    *Everyone roll Wisdom against Illuminate!*
  491. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  492. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 14. Total: 14.
  493. <Kefka> I don't even think this new DVD drive
  494. <KefkaRolls>    $24d10
  495. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 9, 8, 8, 4, 7, 2, 1, 5, 6, 10, 6, 2, 7, 7, 5, 7, 7, 5, 9, 7, 10, 6 and 7. Total: 149. Successes: 21.
  496. <Kefka> this... thread...
  497. <Gurloz>    Allies are healed by 4 hears.
  498. <Gurloz>    hearts, even.
  499. <DM>    oh
  500. <Gurloz>    damn typoes.
  501. <DM>    nvm that
  502. <DM>    *Kefka dodges the ball of light. His darkness of doom retaliates at Gurloz! (Roll Wisdom)
  503. <Kefka> lol
  504. *   Gurloz points at DM.
  505. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - He's laughing out loud. ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THA- eh?
  506. <Gurloz>    You get hit by it too..
  507. <Kefka> However
  508. <DM>    oh right
  509. *   DM takes 16 damage and drops to 9h.
  510. <DM>    oh, damage halved
  511. *   DM takes 8 damage and drops to 17h.
  512. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  513. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 23. Total: 23.
  514. <Kefka> plus sloooow moving tiles. and conveyors.
  515. *   Gurloz defends.
  516. <KefkaRolls>    (on top of the +5 Wisdom from earlier... holy crap)
  517. <Gurloz>    $27d10
  518. <Navi>  Gurloz: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 1, 10, 7, 3, 10, 10, 7, 10, 7, 10, 2, 7, 4, 3, 7, 2, 1, 9, 4, 9, 1, 6, 9, 7, 8 and 1. Total: 163. Successes: 22.
  519. <KefkaRolls>    $38d10
  520. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 38 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 8, 5, 4, 8, 5, 1, 2, 2, 9, 4, 8, 8, 5, 1, 5, 8, 8, 6, 2, 10, 5, 1, 4, 3, 2, 6, 8, 10, 9, 10, 8, 6, 4, 10, 2, 1 and 6. Total: 207. Successes: 27.
  521. <Kefka> .. or so my mind works.
  522. <KefkaRolls>    +5 successes
  523. <Darte> No
  524. <Darte> your mind does not work
  525. <DM>    KEFKA, DOES YOUR MIND WORK?
  526. <Kefka> Hell!
  527. <Darte> stop thinking so loud
  528. <Kefka> Line Added: stop thinking so loud
  529. *   Gurloz takes 8 damage and drops to 5 hearts.
  530. <DM>    *Kefka's mind works in Hell.*
  531. <Kefka> russ, i think selection limits the area you can change with the other tools
  532. <Darte> wut
  533. <Gurloz>    5h, 11m.
  534. <Gurloz>    $turns
  535. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  536. <Kefka> HI WIND
  537. <DM>    *Darte is capable of being a target of- what
  538. <DM>    *Kefka proceeds to say hi to WindStrike, who is DM, meaning.... crap, he's sticking a fortune on me.*
  539. <Kefka> VILENESS - 10: For millions of people, listening to "Stuck in the Middle with You" will never be the same.
  540. <KefkaRolls>    $fortune DM
  541. <Kefka> DM: Don't let friends impose on you, work calmly and silently.
  542. <Ramsey>    "But what if they impose on you calmly and silently?"
  543. <DM>    *DM EFFECT - Kefka, my friend, no longer imposes on me. $torture is off until I die.*
  544. <Kefka> lmao
  545. <Darte> I am untargetable until the end of this round.
  546. <DM>    until start of 3rd round... it's the third round... or did I say end....
  547. <DM>    $switch torture
  548. <Kefka> $torture: This command may not be disabled, DM.
  549. <Darte> I'd recorded end... :3
  550. <DM>    .... crap.
  551. <DM>    *DM EFFECT NOT VALID. ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION.*
  552. *   Gurloz grabs his White Sword and charges at the DM! Roll Courage!
  553. <Gurloz>    $25d10
  554. <Navi>  Gurloz: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 7, 7, 7, 4, 9, 9, 8, 1, 3, 8, 5, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 4, 10, 4, 4, 3, 7 and 1. Total: 118. Successes: 11.
  555. <Gurloz>    Damage + 1.
  556. <DM>    KEFKA, SAVE ME!
  557. <Kefka> because HOW IS "THE LAND OF ENDED GAMES" NOT SELF-EXPLANATORY TO HIM
  558. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
  559. <Gurloz>    Electrocute:
  560. <Gurloz>    Gives the weapon Nature affinity
  561. <Gurloz>    When you successfully hit a target, target gets the Electrified Affliction:
  562. <Gurloz>    Target's armor loses 1 damage reduction.
  563. <Gurloz>    Target's armor cannot have negative damage reduction.
  564. <Gurloz>    Electrified lasts for the remainder of the battle.
  565. <Gurloz>    $endturn
  566. <Navi>  Gurloz has ended their turn. Ramsey: It is your turn now.
  567. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
  568. <Kefka> performance obviously
  569. *   DM doesn't even need to do a death line for that.
  570. <DM>    $removeme
  571. <Navi>  DM has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  572. <Kefka> lol
  573. *   Sephiroth forces DM to do a death line for it anyways.
  574. <DM>    screw you too, Kefka
  575. <Kefka> oh god
  576. <DM>    kay
  577. *   Ramsey swings the scythe at Kefka then moves to leave.  (Roll courage)
  578. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  579. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 24. Total: 24.
  580. <Kefka> This water is strenghtening my headache :(
  581. <Sephiroth> $torture off
  582. <Kefka> $torture: No longer torturing WindStrike.
  583. <Ramsey>    $32d10
  584. <Navi>  Ramsey: You rolled 32 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 4, 10, 1, 7, 10, 9, 3, 8, 7, 10, 1, 9, 10, 5, 4, 2, 6, 4, 4, 8, 6, 8, 6, 8, 8, 5, 10, 7, 1, 5 and 4. Total: 193. Successes: 26.
  585. <KefkaRolls>    $34d10
  586. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 10, 7, 5, 3, 10, 1, 9, 5, 10, 7, 5, 8, 10, 10, 6, 6, 5, 6, 9, 8, 8, 9, 10, 3, 7, 7, 10, 7, 6, 4, 9 and 7. Total: 235. Successes: 36.
  587. <Kefka> WE GET SIGNAL!
  588. *   KefkaRolls gets his signal for his 3G network suddenly, and with a VWOOM, he dodges out of Ramsey's way.
  589. *   Ramsey has quit (Quit: Leaving)
  590. *   Sephiroth is now known as Ramsey
  591. <Ramsey>    $removeme
  592. *   Ramsey is now known as Sephiroth
  593. <Navi>  Ramsey has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  594. <Kefka> Oh
  595. <DM>    *DM, in an effort to survive, calls out to Kefka to save him. Kefka proceeds to run DM over. KEESE AND CO. deny DM of enlightenment. And no one ate dinner that night.*
  596. <Kefka> i'm bisexual you twit
  597. <DM>    that's disturbing....
  598. <Sephiroth> lol
  599. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  600. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on the highway! «14,421»)
  601. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  602. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
  603. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  604. <Kefka> "/admin"
  605. <Kefka> ROFL
  606. <DM>    wut
  607. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - He's admin status. ... oh dear.*
  608. <Kefka> !k
  609. <DM>    ... did Kefka just try to kick himself?
  610. <Kefka> great.
  611. <Darte> AHAHAHAH
  612. <Darte> He's kicking himself for not investing in Microsoft before Ballmer's announcment
  613. <DM>    *FIELD EFFECT - You're on a highway. Oncomming traffic has been replaced by Kefka's ambulance. At the start of each turn, Kefka's ambulance will hit a random target (Roll Power to defend).*
  614. <Kefka> I think my mother let him in
  615. <DM>    *Kefka's mother, Jenova, let the ambulance in. .......... wait, that's Sephiroth's mother.*
  616. <Kefka> Do think in terms of the policemen and being adequately prepared,
  617. <DM>    I think I got things slightly backwards there.
  618. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  619. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on MechaHitler and his robotic Nazi Brigade! «14,422»)
  620. <DM>    really
  621. <Darte> Aww, you're finishing Kefka's sentences
  622. <Kefka> lol
  623. *   WindStrike is now known as MechaHitler
  624. <MechaHitler>   $init j
  625. <Navi>  MechaHitler: You have entered the fray!
  626. *   X_X is now known as GrammarNazi
  627. <GrammarNazi>   $init j
  628. <Navi>  GrammarNazi: You have entered the fray!
  629. <DM>    $turns
  630. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1), MechaHitler (0) and GrammarNazi (0).
  631. <Kefka> Sakray
  632. <DM>    $1d5
  633. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  634. <DM>    *Kefka is hit by his own ambulance! HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!*
  635. <Kefka> in BC2, I played a match and for once didn't take the game seriously like I normally do, and got a 6 kill streak!
  636. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  637. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
  638. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  639. <Kefka> I want my headcrab hat
  640. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  641. <Kefka> First time, I tried to get SADX, and when I took the box to the counter, the game wasn't in it, and they had no copy of the game whatsoever
  642. <KefkaRolls>    $19d10
  643. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 9, 1, 10, 1, 3, 9, 3, 7, 6, 9, 1, 4, 7, 7, 5, 2, 3 and 1. Total: 92. Successes: 10.
  644. <KefkaRolls>    $12d10
  645. <Kefka> fake virus makes kirby song
  646. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 5, 1, 7, 7, 8, 3, 7, 1, 1, 4 and 1. Total: 51. Successes: 6.
  647. <Kefka> Sioux Falls, SD: Conditions: Clear, Temperature: 71.1 F (21.7 C), Wind: From the NW at 3.0 MPH Gusting to 3.0 MPH, Humidity: 60%
  648. <Kefka> and I was like, "ooh, zelda. ooh, make your own games"
  649. <DM>    *Kefka runs himself over with his own ambulance, taking 4 damage!*
  650. <Kefka> oh yes...
  651. <DM>    *Kefka seems to enjoy it, too.*
  652. <Kefka> Arenitha needs about 100 arcanite bars.
  653. <DM>    Kefka - 26h | Lots of magic
  654. <Kefka> lol skype
  655. <DM>    $1d5
  656. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  657. <DM>    *Kefka throws a pie at- oh wait, that's impossible...
  658. <DM>    $1d4
  659. <Kefka> dfg
  660. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 4. Total: 4.
  661. <DM>    *Kefka throws a pie at GrammarNazi!*
  662. <Kefka> ... Woah. I forgot to go grab it.
  663. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - He forgot to grab the pie. Therefore, this pie is being thrown by Kefka's lack of grabbing skills.*
  664. <Kefka> Hi
  665. <DM>    $pie GrammarNazi
  666. *   Kefka throws a Cream pie at GrammarNazi as requested by DM. I threw 110 pies on LunarNet.
  667. *   GrammarNazi receives a movie-full of cream pie at his face. This is how Nazis everywhere are treated.
  668. *   GrammarNazi returns to his homeland in shame.
  669. *   GrammarNazi has quit (Quit: Leaving)
  670. *   You are now known as GrammarNazi
  671. <GrammarNazi>   $removeme
  672. <Navi>  GrammarNazi has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1) and MechaHitler (0).
  673. *   You are now known as DM
  674. <Kefka> i rly hate it wen peoples grammer and speling and puctuations ar awlays worng
  675. <DM>    brb dying laughing
  676. <Sephiroth> ..... ......
  677. <DM>    $endturn
  678. <Navi>  DM has ended Kefka's turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
  679. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1) and MechaHitler (0).
  680. <Kefka> sicles
  681. <Kefka> is a sociopathic little beast.
  682. <DM>    Kefka - 26h | Lots of magic
  683. <Kefka> but that's kinda lol
  684. *   Darte faces Kefka
  685. <DM>    *Kefka faces Darte back.*
  686. <Kefka> 3 day weekend!!!!! Never sleeping
  687. <Darte> $google i want to be the guy
  688. <Kefka> $google: I Wanna Be The Guy: The Movie: The Game is a sardonic loveletter to the halcyon days of early American videogaming, packaged as a nail-rippingly difficult ... http://kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/
  689. <DM>    *DARTE EFFECT - You are now The Movie: The Game. You are nail-rippingly difficult to get hit, gaining +8 dice when defending. However, if you are hit, you abide by the laws of said sadistic games and die instantly.*
  690. <DM>    Kefka, what are your thoughts on Super Meat Boy?
  691. <Kefka> everything ok?
  692. <Darte> $endturn
  693. <Navi>  Darte has ended their turn. MechaHitler: It is your turn now.
  694. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1) and MechaHitler (0).
  695. <Kefka> and batteries
  696. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - He's alright at Super Meat Boy. He beat a few levels, but that's it. Kefka is incapable of beating The Movie: The Game, though, and can only drop Darte down to 1 Heart.*
  697. <Kefka> expansion even
  698. <MechaHitler>   HELLO. I AM MECHA HITLER. HEIL ME.
  699. <DM>    MechaHitler, using your German superiority, calculate the value of pi.
  700. <MechaHitler>   $google pi
  701. <Kefka> [WindStrike] STOP! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.
  702. <Kefka> $google: It has been represented by the Greek letter "π" since the mid-18th century, though it is also sometimes written as "pi" (/paɪ/). π is an irrational number, which ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi
  703. <MechaHitler>   ERROR
  704. <MechaHitler>   ERROR
  705. <MechaHitler>   WIKIPEDIA DOES NOT KNOW PI
  706. <MechaHitler>   I AM ERROR
  707. <MechaHitler>   I AM IRRATIONAL
  708. <MechaHitler>   THE CAKE IS A LIE
  709. <Darte> ahaaaaaaaaahahahah
  710. *   Sephiroth blows MechaHitler up with a Creeper!
  711. <Sephiroth> Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
  712. *   Sephiroth has kicked MechaHitler from #zurpg (BOOM! «14,423»)
  713. *   MechaHitler (WindStrike@24.246.163.12) has joined #zurpg
  714. *   MechaHitler attempts to calculate pi, but he is blown up by a creeper before he himself self-destructs.
  715. <MechaHitler>   $removeme
  716. <Navi>  MechaHitler has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  717. *   MechaHitler has quit (Quit: Leaving)
  718. <Kefka> why in god's name did I jump from "Barbie Girl" to this?
  719. <DM>    $1d3
  720. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  721. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  722. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a Windows directory, slamming into the fonts folder! Fonts go flying everywhere. «14,424»)
  723. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  724. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
  725. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  726. <Kefka> there's no whitelist renoki
  727. <DM>    *Kefka has Fire 5, Nature 5, Light 5, and Shadow 5.*
  728. <Kefka> sorry
  729. <DM>    *Feeding Darkness attempts to hit two targets, but some flying fonts block one of the hits.*
  730. <DM>    $1d3
  731. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
  732. <DM>    *Kefka once again hits himself with Feeding Darkness! (Roll Wisdom)
  733. <Kefka> Oh.
  734. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  735. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 19. Total: 19.
  736. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  737. <Kefka> oh, top gear's on.
  738. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 4. Total: 4.
  739. <Kefka> uh ... okay? O_o'
  740. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - Top gear IS on.*
  741. <Kefka> hey , Dustminiom
  742. <KefkaRolls>    $34d10
  743. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 5, 4, 8, 8, 7, 10, 7, 10, 7, 7, 4, 6, 9, 8, 1, 10, 6, 9, 9, 3, 1, 1, 5, 5, 8, 9, 10, 5, 10, 7, 9, 1 and 7. Total: 222. Successes: 32.
  744. <Kefka> ._.
  745. <KefkaRolls>    $19d10
  746. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 4, 3, 3, 10, 8, 5, 4, 6, 2, 10, 10, 3, 1, 4, 3, 4, 8 and 5. Total: 102. Successes: 12.
  747. <Kefka> it did
  748. *   KefkaRolls painfully drops himself to 10 hearts.
  749. <DM>    *Kefka - 10h | Lots of magic*
  750. <Kefka> that's probably like
  751. <DM>    *Gurloz time!*
  752. *   Gurloz grabs his Bloody Edge and swings at Kefka! (Roll COurage!)
  753. <Gurloz>    $24d10
  754. <Navi>  Gurloz: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 5, 10, 5, 9, 10, 8, 10, 2, 6, 5, 3, 8, 9, 4, 5, 4, 6, 8, 3, 10, 2, 5 and 4. Total: 146. Successes: 21.
  755. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  756. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 23. Total: 23.
  757. <Kefka> wow these new areas are wtf hard
  758. <KefkaRolls>    $33d10
  759. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 9, 4, 3, 1, 8, 4, 9, 10, 4, 5, 8, 7, 7, 10, 6, 3, 6, 3, 2, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 1, 10, 9, 6, 9, 6, 2 and 6. Total: 197. Successes: 25.
  760. <Kefka> Or random s*** punctuation
  761. *   Gurloz hurls a reroll at Kefka.
  762. <DM>    (which one, the 1d30 or the 33d10?
  763. <Gurloz>    1d30
  764. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  765. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 25. Total: 25.
  766. <Kefka> Sakray
  767. <Gurloz>    ....
  768. <KefkaRolls>    $35d10
  769. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 9, 9, 5, 9, 3, 1, 8, 4, 5, 5, 3, 9, 9, 4, 9, 4, 8, 7, 4, 7, 8, 9, 4, 6, 3, 10, 6, 5, 9, 4, 2, 10, 2 and 2. Total: 211. Successes: 24.
  770. <Kefka> at least make some unimportant guy with a bunch of eggs
  771. *   Gurloz misses.
  772. <Gurloz>    $endturn
  773. <Navi>  Gurloz has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
  774. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  775. <Kefka> Know what?
  776. <DM>    *Kefka gets a Sakray. I have no idea what that means, but it probably blocked Gurloz's strike.*
  777. <Kefka> I can't stop laughing, and I'm happier than ever... how on earth can this be bad?
  778. <DM>    *KEFKA EFFECT - He's being the guy he's based off of for once. Dancing Mad starts playing.*
  779. <Kefka> oh dear.
  780. <DM>    (Here's a decent version of Dancing Mad - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=525iqnY5O1c
  781. <Kefka> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbXVNKtmWnc
  782. <DM>    .......
  783. <DM>    how
  784. <DM>    how did
  785. <DM>    how did that happen
  786. <DM>    oh, you manually said it, I was gonna say, that... shouldn't have been possible
  787. <DM>    *Kefka is now dancing madly. He now rolls $1d35 instead of $1d30.*
  788. <Kefka> I know... That just doesnt seem to be the addon it talks about or I am dumb.. oh well :P
  789. <Darte> wait a second
  790. <Darte> Kefka
  791. <Kefka> I'm getting a headache
  792. <Darte> is based on Sephiroth
  793. <Darte> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xsbTlrpkg4
  794. <DM>    heck yes to that one
  795. <DM>    $turns
  796. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  797. <Kefka> Sioux Falls, SD: Conditions: Clear, Temperature: 71.1 F (21.7 C), Wind: From the NW at 3.0 MPH Gusting to 3.0 MPH, Humidity: 60%
  798. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  799. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on the side-walk! «14,425»)
  800. <Sephiroth> $endturn
  801. <Navi>  Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
  802. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  803. <Kefka> Voice recognition in Olympus Burning!
  804. <Kefka> The fate of the universe is at stake!!
  805. <DM>    *UNIVERSE EFFECT - Dancing Mad is affecting the state of the universe. If Kefka is not defeated, the universe will explode.*
  806. <Kefka> or IN
  807. <DM>    also Sephiroth, kick me again, need something less boring
  808. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  809. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in front of Kefka's Ambulance. I wonder where its going? «14,426»)
  810. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a flagpole? O_o «14,427»)
  811. <Darte> or experiences mild rae
  812. <Darte> *rape
  813. <Sephiroth> LOL
  814. <DM>    ... Sephiroth, rape me with your kicks again... mildly.
  815. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  816. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed under a bridge! «14,428»)
  817. <DM>    just keep kicking till we find a good one
  818. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  819. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on an overturned trash can! «14,429»)
  820. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  821. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in Windows Vista! «14,430»)
  822. <DM>    oooooh
  823. <DM>    nvm, I can't come up with anything
  824. <DM>    it's just that bad
  825. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  826. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in the pants! «14,431»)
  827. <Darte> ahahaa
  828. <Darte> AHAHAH.
  829. <DM>    oh my
  830. <DM>    $turns
  831. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  832. <Kefka> And she was just in the 2nd, possibly the third, but she wasn't the main chick
  833. <DM>    $1d4
  834. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 1. Total: 1.
  835. <DM>    *You have all landed in Sephiroth's pants!*
  836. <DM>    *Sephiroth will now choose the field effect. After all, it's his pants.*
  837. *   DM gets the ice cream out while Sephiroth attempts to figure out what's going on inside his pants.
  838. <Sephiroth> *FIELD EFFECT - You are in the pants! Roll courage against the pants to escape, lest you want to be raped and take $1d15 damage!
  839. <KefkaRolls>    $1d30
  840. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 6. Total: 6.
  841. <Kefka> Lawl
  842. <KefkaRolls>    oh crap
  843. <KefkaRolls>    $16d10
  844. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 7, 8, 6, 5, 7, 9, 1, 5, 4, 1, 8, 2, 4, 5 and 3. Total: 76. Successes: 9.
  845. <Kefka> $recall
  846. <DM>    wut
  847. <DM>    hang on, what did Kefka just try to $recall?
  848. <Kefka> I dunno. Golden Sun 2 is pretty awesome.
  849. <Sephiroth> $25d10
  850. <Navi>  Sephiroth: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 9, 3, 6, 9, 3, 5, 2, 3, 8, 4, 5, 1, 4, 7, 6, 1, 3, 1, 3, 7, 3, 1, 10 and 6. Total: 114. Successes: 12.
  851. <Darte> $47d10
  852. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 47 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 10, 1, 6, 2, 5, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 6, 3, 7, 3, 4, 4, 7, 2, 7, 2, 7, 6, 5, 2, 6, 6, 9, 9, 9, 7, 4, 1, 6, 7, 9, 10, 1, 7, 3, 10, 9 and 7. Total: 243. Successes: 30.
  853. <DM>    *Darte gets to counterattack Sephiroth's pants!*
  854. <KefkaRolls>    $1d15
  855. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 15 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
  856. <Kefka> Charter High-Speed is the second-worst-rated cable ISP on dslreports.com [20], and Consumer Reports indicated in their February 2008 issue that Charter's television/Internet/telephone bundle collectively is the worst of all major national carriers.
  857. *   KefkaRolls takes 5 damage and drops to 5h.
  858. <DM>    *Kefka was unable to dance madly in Sephiroth's pants. He was then raped by said pants. This caused Kefka to go back to dancing madly. Insert eye bleach now.*
  859. <Kefka> WORST ACTING EVER.
  860. *   Darte fires a Waterlance at Kefka's pants.
  861. <Darte> er
  862. <Darte> Sephiroth's pants.
  863. <Darte> Kefkiroth
  864. <Darte> bah
  865. *   Sephiroth kicks Darte out the window.
  866. *   Sephiroth has kicked Darte from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a sword! «14,432»)
  867. <DM>    *Sephiroth's pants' raping skills have horrible acting skills.*
  868. <Darte> oO.Oo
  869. <Darte> $22d10
  870. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 10, 5, 9, 6, 7, 5, 2, 2, 4, 10, 3, 2, 6, 2, 1, 7, 10, 6, 1, 7 and 4. Total: 115. Successes: 16.
  871. <DM>    *Waterlance ignores damage reduction. Do Sephiroth's pants have the wisdom to defend against such an attack?!*
  872. *   Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
  873. *   You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on an overturned trash can! «14,433»)
  874. *   DM hath been trashed by thy trash can. He suddenly knows how Yosuke feels.
  875. *   DM does the trash can dance while listening to Johnny's Got That Funk! - http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m96h2lwubA1rq6wf0.gif
  876. <DM>    $turns
  877. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  878. <Kefka> So
  879. <KefkaRolls>    $lovecalc Sephiroth, Darte
  880. <Kefka> The chance of a successful sexual relationship between Sephiroth and Darte is 100%.
  881. <DM>    so, how lovecalc works... if it hits both of the targets that it's used on
  882. <Sephiroth> ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
  883. <Sephiroth> .............................................................................................................
  884. <DM>    their hearts' percentage is set the percentage that $lovecalc spits out
  885. <Darte> o.o
  886. <Darte> rounded up of course
  887. <DM>    simultaneously though, Darte is supposed to die if he gets hit, but drops to 1 heart instead if Kefka hits him, so.......
  888. <Kefka> http/ironfish.exaltedlegion.com/ZC/music/ST.6.MIDI
  889. <Darte> too bad I'm already healthy
  890. *   DM cancels $lovecalc and forces Kefka to roll a fortune instead before we cause another paradox.
  891. <KefkaRolls>    $1d2
  892. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Heads (1). Results: 1 Head (1) - 0 Tails (2).
  893. <Kefka> [Lithium] <Nate> I have a very large hunger for peaness
  894. <KefkaRolls>    $fortune Gurloz
  895. <Kefka> Gurloz: Don't forget to do good deeds as you accumulate wealth.
  896. <Darte> O.O
  897. <DM>    *GURLOZ EFFECT - When you accumulate wealth, do a good deed. Something good will happen.*
  898. <DM>    $endturn
  899. <Navi>  DM has ended Kefka's turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
  900. <Navi>  Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
  901. <Kefka> BUT THEY'LL LET ME TAKE MY DAD'S OLD WINDOWS 95 LAPPY.
  902. <Kefka> Stop bugging me about it >:(
  903. <DM>    *Kefka gets his dad's 95 lappy. It dances madly with Kefka as well. Kefka gains 3 damage reduction by using his windows 95 laptop as a shield!*
  904. <Kefka> what is the gold rate on your server
  905. <Darte> Hhhehehe.  Have fun with your PS/2 mouse and blue screens.
  906. *   Darte swings at Kefka with his Zora Blades.
  907. <DM>    *Darte's comment causes Kefka to immediately throw away his windows 95 laptop. It lands in DM's trashcan, which he's still dancing with.*
  908. <Kefka> I think Lithium and I tipped him over the edge
  909. <Darte> LOL.
  910. <Darte> $34d10
  911. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 1, 3, 6, 5, 10, 4, 8, 5, 9, 2, 9, 6, 3, 8, 1, 5, 8, 6, 6, 7, 3, 7, 9, 5, 2, 5, 9, 3, 4, 10, 10, 6 and 5. Total: 193. Successes: 26.
  912. <Darte> (courage)
  913. <DM>    *Kefka and Lithium appeared to have tipped DM over the edge. He has fallen out of his outpost in heaven.*
  914. <Kefka> I just went on an unrelated tanget
  915. *   KefkaRolls is back to dancing mad, fyi.
  916. <KefkaRolls>    $1d35
  917. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 35 Sides. Result: 33. Total: 33.
  918. <Kefka> LOL
  919. <DM>    hooooly crap
  920. <KefkaRolls>    $43d10
  921. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 43 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 1, 8, 8, 9, 2, 3, 3, 10, 6, 8, 3, 2, 10, 6, 8, 2, 5, 9, 7, 9, 1, 9, 4, 4, 10, 7, 3, 2, 7, 2, 3, 6, 1, 2, 10, 8, 5, 5, 10, 3, 7 and 5. Total: 243. Successes: 32.
  922. <Kefka> also
  923. <Darte> $34d10
  924. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 9, 9, 10, 1, 7, 1, 6, 1, 9, 4, 9, 8, 1, 9, 1, 8, 7, 9, 5, 8, 1, 4, 10, 6, 10, 8, 10, 1, 9, 1, 10 and 6. Total: 203. Successes: 27.
  925. <KefkaRolls>    $1d35
  926. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 35 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
  927. <Kefka> I mean, if you drastically cut down their height, they'd look better.
  928. <KefkaRolls>    $19d10
  929. <Navi>  KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 4, 10, 7, 7, 4, 6, 6, 7, 6, 2, 6, 10, 2, 5, 6, 5, 5 and 10. Total: 116. Successes: 18.
  930. <Kefka> aight.
  931. <Darte> +1
  932. <DM>    Hey Kefka, why don't you try calling for mommy?
  933. <Kefka> Well
  934. <DM>    OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A MOMMY KEFKA, HAHAHAHAHAHAH
  935. <Darte> He seems... reluctant
  936. <Kefka> one spell summons a specific mount
  937. <Kefka> TS is just that awesome.
  938. <Kefka> ... Because mommy is in Heaven where she belongs.
  939. <Darte> Serphiroth's the one with a mommy, silly.
  940. <Darte> *mommy issues
  941. <DM>    *TS is not awesome. Culex is. Get it right, Kefka.*
  942. <Kefka> I am always purring.
  943. *   Sephiroth kicks Darte out the window.
  944. *   Sephiroth has kicked Darte from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed near two bears mating! This could get ugly! «14,434»)
  945. <DM>    *Darte, roll Power to defend!*
  946. <Darte> O.O
  947. <Darte> you've killed me, you know that
  948. <Darte> $23d10
  949. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 23 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 4, 4, 7, 4, 2, 6, 4, 8, 6, 9, 7, 2, 1, 8, 1, 5, 7, 4, 10, 9, 2 and 7. Total: 123. Successes: 14.
  950. <DM>    hey, that's what you get for equipping zora blades
  951. <Darte> Oh goodness
  952. <Darte> wait
  953. <Darte> d'oh
  954. <Darte> That's 5 too many
  955. <DM>    *With a flurry of slashes, Darte slices, dices, and dances on Kefka's corpse madly.*
  956. <Kefka> IT'S FAST AND FREE
  957. <DM>    *Freely, too.*
  958. <Darte> $18d10
  959. <Navi>  Darte: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 5, 1, 5, 9, 2, 8, 1, 3, 9, 2, 9, 1, 7, 7, 7 and 5. Total: 86. Successes: 10.
  960. <Darte> :'(
  961. <Bear1> $40d10
  962. <Navi>  Bear1: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 10, 4, 3, 9, 10, 1, 8, 6, 8, 5, 2, 1, 10, 1, 1, 5, 1, 9, 1, 3, 9, 2, 10, 4, 7, 5, 2, 9, 2, 6, 7, 4, 1, 3, 6, 2, 2, 4 and 6. Total: 199. Successes: 25.
  963. <Bear2> $40d10
  964. <Navi>  Bear2: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 5, 7, 7, 9, 3, 10, 2, 1, 6, 6, 9, 8, 8, 6, 3, 10, 6, 10, 8, 10, 3, 7, 4, 7, 10, 1, 4, 1, 2, 5, 7, 6, 8, 6, 7, 3, 8, 10 and 6. Total: 249. Successes: 36.
  965. <Darte> oh goodness
  966. <Darte> le death
  967. <DM>    *Darte's cries for help are negated by the sounds of two bears mating in a rather thrilling, gruelling, and censored scene.*
  968. <DM>    $init r
  969. <Navi>  DM: The bot has been reset.
  970. <Darte> Straaight out of the Oatmeal. :'(
  971. <DM>    Okay, so that battle was pretty much Kefka killing himself the entire time, good god.
  972. <Kefka> So you are a sophomore?
  973. <Darte> $die
  974. <DM>    +80 EXP to Gurloz, Darte, and Ramsey
  975. <DM>    +400 Rupees to them as well
  976. *   Darte grovels.
  977. <Sephiroth> $calc 57+80
  978. <Kefka> 57+80 = 137
  979. <Darte> Th-thank you master
  980. <DM>    (Fyi, if it had actually reached round 6, at which point Kefka would've had all 6 affinities.... he has a move called Taste the Rainbow.*
  981. <Kefka> :(
  982. <Sephiroth> $calc 137-75
  983. <Kefka> 137-75 = 62
  984. <Darte> Ahahahaha
  985. <Darte> That reaction
  986. <DM>    annnd random item drops from Kefka' death
  987. <Kefka> i thought drinking enough coffee would make anything go faster
  988. <DM>    *Kefka's coffee drinking caused his demise to go faster.*
  989. <Kefka> are there seriously valentine's day apps
  990. <DM>    $google Valentine's Day Apps
  991. <Kefka> $google: App developers are cashing in on the business of love. Download these apps just in time for Valentine's Day. http://www.inc.com/ss/kc-ifeanyi/5-must-have-valentines-day-apps
  992. <DM>    Yes, Kefka. There are.
  993. <Kefka> and endless stream
  994. <DM>    yep
  995. <Darte> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwe9Qxo3_Cs
  996. <DM>    let's go with..... d14, cause all the #3 scrolls are added
  997. <DM>    $3d14
  998. <Navi>  DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 14 Sides. Result: 7, 10 and 5. Total: 22.
  999. <Darte> why does Ctrl-W work on zuchat. O.o
  1000. <Darte> $recall
  1001. <DM>    lol
  1002. <DM>    -=KEFKA IS FINISHED=-
  1003. <Kefka> im awful at tetris
  1004. *   DM pwns Kefka in Tetris.
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