Kicked out the window, Kefka Edition

*	Ramsey teleports in holding a big bowl of spagetti.  "Hey guys."
<Darte>	"Hey.  Eatin' spaghetti in the river, eh? Classy."
<DM>	-=INSANITY OF DOOM, STARTO!=-
<DM>	*Kefka appears before you.*
<Kefka>	it grows in bunches
<DM>	*Three of him- god no. He urges you to roll your initiative.*
<Ramsey>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Ramsey: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Darte>	$init 1d11
<Navi>	Darte: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
<Kefka>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Kefka: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
<Kefka>	Wow.
<DM>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	DM: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Gurloz>	$init 1d13
<Navi>	Gurloz: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
<DM>	there we go
<DM>	$init s
<Navi>	The Battle has started! Turn Order: Gurloz (8), Darte (4), Kefka (4), Ramsey (2) and DM (2).
<Kefka>	Cukeman not everyone, I know the place
<Gurloz>	You forgot someone.
<DM>	stats - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=236&pid=505#pid505
<DM>	I did?
<Sephiroth>	$init 2d10
<Navi>	Sephiroth: You may join this battle with $init join.
<DM>	doh
<DM>	resetting the thing
<DM>	$init r
<Navi>	DM: The bot has been reset.
<Sephiroth>	$init 2d10
<Gurloz>	You forgot someone.
<Navi>	Sephiroth: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3 and 8.
<DM>	kay, reroll that, derpity
<Gurloz>	$init 1d13
<Navi>	Gurloz: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 5.
<Kefka>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Kefka: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Kefka>	win
<DM>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	DM: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
*	DM pokes Darte and Ramsey with rerolls on initiative.
<Darte>	$init 1d11
<Navi>	Darte: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 1.
<Darte>	:'<
<DM>	lol
<Darte>	navi you are broken
<Darte>	go fix yourself
<Gurloz>	lol
<DM>	good thing Navi doesn't randomly say stuff... that'd be frightening
<Ramsey>	LISTEN!
<Darte>	nawp
<Darte>	Not gonna get in a Culex fight with Navi
<Darte>	not gonna happen
<DM>	so yeah Ramsey, reroll $init, since I screwed up, lol
<Ramsey>	$init 1d10
<Kefka>	Well, sort of.
<Navi>	Ramsey: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
<DM>	$init s
<Navi>	The Battle has started! Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	how do I get one for the other servers?
<DM>	dear god, it starts with the kick
*	X_X is now known as KefkaRolls
*	KefkaRolls will be rolling the dice.
*	DM pokes Sephiroth for a kick.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed somewhere. Henceforth, you are expelled from this estimable enclave, your presence is invalid vacate, and behold forthwith! And take with you... A boot to the head. «14,413»)
<DM>	*Kefka uses Boot to the Head on DM! (Roll Coura- oh wait, you have none)*
<Kefka>	Oh.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	And the bastard kept denying it even though he has the stupid emo haircuts
<DM>	AH HAH, A REDIRECT!
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 20. Total: 20.
<Kefka>	Soundtrack is < 1GB, Compressor is < 400MB
<KefkaRolls>	$30d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 3, 10, 3, 5, 9, 9, 3, 2, 7, 10, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, 3, 10, 6, 2, 5, 9, 6, 4, 9, 7, 4, 4, 7 and 3. Total: 166. Successes: 20.
<Kefka>	cause I have boobs
<DM>	*Kefka's boobs are added to his boot to the head attack on DM. DM is scarred for life and takes 10 damage.*
<Kefka>	next to Thundercats
<DM>	90h
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
<Sephiroth>	It wasn't an ambulance.
<Sephiroth>	That was the Boot to the Head, ... after a short delay.
*	Sephiroth runs.
<DM>	well, before that, it was a random ambulance... okay, if it stacks, I'mma just override, so... boot to the head it is
*	Ramsey just eats his spagetti.
<DM>	$1d5
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 3. Total: 3.
<DM>	*Kefka uses Boot to the Head... on himself!*
<Kefka>	Raw Full!
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Raw Full means.... I have no idea what the heck that means.*
<Kefka>	WORST ACTING EVER.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 19. Total: 19.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Kefka>	I see.
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 11. Total: 11.
<Kefka>	its real
<KefkaRolls>	$29d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 29 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 2, 3, 6, 8, 3, 6, 5, 4, 2, 7, 1, 10, 3, 2, 6, 4, 6, 2, 7, 3, 2, 6, 6, 5, 8, 9, 2 and 3. Total: 138. Successes: 16.
<KefkaRolls>	$21d10
<Kefka>	how we travel at near light speed and defeat our enemies with invisible weapons
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 3, 9, 7, 8, 3, 7, 10, 10, 2, 3, 6, 1, 4, 6, 4, 3, 5, 2, 3 and 7. Total: 110. Successes: 13.
<Kefka>	no vowels.
*	KefkaRolls hits himself for 2 damage and recovers that damage..... okay, there is zero point to Kefka throwing a boot at himself.
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	wow
<Ramsey>	"Can I just say I have no clue what's going on?  The guy typing this out doesn't know either."
<DM>	*You are fighting Kefka. If you lose, well... people die if they are killed.*
<Kefka>	I don't get laid often enough in my dreams. I'm trying to change that. :(
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka is attempting to get laid. If you fail in melee combat with him, he will marry you.*
<Kefka>	;[
*	Gurloz rofls
<DM>	(so yeah Gurloz, you're up)
*	Gurloz grabs his Archangel's Blessing and beats DM upside the head with it. (Roll Courage!)
<Gurloz>	$24d10
<Navi>	Gurloz: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 6, 6, 5, 7, 5, 7, 5, 1, 2, 7, 3, 6, 6, 5, 3, 8, 5, 7, 3, 10, 10, 8 and 7. Total: 140. Successes: 21.
<DM>	ow... agony
<Gurloz>	$endturn
<Navi>	Gurloz has ended their turn. Ramsey: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	Location confirmed. Sending supplies.
<DM>	21 / 2 = 10.5 rounded = 11 damage
<DM>	79h
<KefkaRolls>	$1d5
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 3. Total: 3.
<Kefka>	*lime* looks like the letters are crashing to the ground and making little asterisk dust clouds
<DM>	*Kefka sends supplies to himself.... except he's still at full.*
<Kefka>	That sounds interesting
<Darte>	Wait, are we beating up on DM or KEfka?
<Kefka>	I believe I can reverse the polarity by attenuating my axial servo.
<DM>	both
<Darte>	o.o
<Darte>	save us all
<DM>	If Kefka fires something directly at me (as a result of $torture), I redirect it to someone randomly.
<Kefka>	I just went on an unrelated tanget
<Darte>	an overbearing madman
<Darte>	and his bot
<Darte>	:P
<DM>	outside of that, I can't do anything
<Darte>	kk
<DM>	relinking the stats - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/showthread.php?tid=236&pid=505#pid505
<Darte>	ooooh I see why you have the bot named Kefkarolls
<Darte>	hahahah
<Kefka>	.. awseome
<KefkaRolls>	hi?
<DM>	(fyi, your hearts and magic should be back at maximum prior to the start of this battle)
*	Sephiroth pokes Ramsey, you're up.
*	Ramsey passes Darte his bowl of spagetti.  "Hold this.  I find out you ate one noodle and you'll feed Mr. Slicey."
<Sephiroth>	http://www.sephiroth.ws/stuff/screens/FFXIVLauncher_2013-08-24_19-53-47.png
<Darte>	>_>
<Darte>	<_<
<Kefka>	Just gonna level Renoki up slightly.
*	Darte consumes two noodles instead.
<DM>	*Renoki has been leveled up to Level 50. ... it doesn't matter, because he's not here.*
*	DM throws a nerfbat at Renoki, dropping his level back down to whatever it was.*
<Ramsey>	"Speaking of Mr. Slicey..."  Ramsey draws his scythe.  "FEED MR. SLICEY CLOWN SHOWS!!!!!"  He charges at Kefka with the scythe.  (Roll courage)
<Kefka>	I'm now off to play Days of Ruin.
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka is attempting to play Days of Ruin during this attack. His dice when defending are reduced by 5.*
<Kefka>	Whatever. Don't care.
<Kefka>	$1d30
<Navi>	Kefka: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 12. Total: 12.
<Kefka>	yes he is.
<Ramsey>	$28d10
<Navi>	Ramsey: You rolled 28 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 1, 6, 10, 10, 10, 9, 2, 5, 7, 7, 2, 10, 2, 6, 10, 3, 3, 3, 4, 2, 4, 7, 7, 7, 9, 6 and 3. Total: 160. Successes: 22.
<KefkaRolls>	$17d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, 7, 9, 5, 10, 9, 6, 5, 8, 9, 2, 5 and 7. Total: 108. Successes: 16.
<Kefka>	Oh y ea
<DM>	*Ramsey's scythe meets Kefka head-on (APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FORHEAD), dealing 6 + 2 = 8 damage!*
<Kefka>	By the way, in case you don't know (probably because I haven't actually said anything yet)...
*	Darte hands Ramsey the bowl.  "Hope I did you proud.  I didn't eat one noodle, just like you asked."
<Kefka>	42h, 1k magic
<Darte>	OOH OOH I KNOW
*	DM totally forgot to roll affinity overload... doin' that now.
*	Ramsey begins to count each individual noodle.
<Darte>	IS IT LIGHT OF JUDGMENT TIME?
<KefkaRolls>	$1d6
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 6 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
<Kefka>	Only disadvantage to the new one is the distance from the spawn point and everybody else.
<Darte>	Do we get to join the Cult of Kefka?
<Kefka>	wouldn't y be - y
<Ramsey>	$endturn
<Navi>	Ramsey has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	um
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a puddle of horse piss! «14,414»)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	hmm, also
<Kefka>	oh
<DM>	*Kefka has Shadow Level 5!*
<Kefka>	like
<DM>	*FIELD EFFECT - You're standing in a shallow, yellow lake. This lake is quite acidic and you feel the burn. Moving around will cause you to take 2 burn damage.*
<DM>	*NOTE - Horses are dangerous. Don't piss them off.*
<Ramsey>	"HEY THERE'S TWO NOODLES MISSING!!!"  Ramsey glares at Darte.
<Darte>	"Y-you said not to eat one.  I thought you'd be proud of me if I managed more than that. :'<"
*	KefkaRolls uses $lovecalc on Ramsey and Darte! (Roll Wisdom)
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 26. Total: 26.
<Kefka>	I had to recollect stuff.
<DM>	ouch, this roll is gonna be high....
<KefkaRolls>	$lovecalc Ramsey, Darte
<Kefka>	The chance of a successful sexual relationship between Ramsey and Darte is 97%.
<Darte>	O.O
*	Ramsey swings Mr. Slicey at KefkaRolls dice roll.
*	Darte has quit (Quit: Leaving)
<KefkaRolls>	$36d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 5, 2, 10, 10, 8, 8, 10, 9, 9, 1, 6, 3, 1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 10, 4, 7, 1, 2, 5, 6, 6, 4, 2, 10, 4, 4, 10, 1, 9 and 7. Total: 207. Successes: 28.
<Kefka>	SHIT
*	Darte (~KenoguLab@c-76-28-207-252.hsd1.wa.comcast.net) has joined #zurpg
<DM>	(successes were 28)
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
<DM>	$1d5
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
*	Ramsey decides to just end the world and slices at the ZURPG game.  "I'LL TAKE IT ALL DOWN WITH ME!!!"
*	DM redirects Kefka's boot to the head to Darte! (Roll Courage)
<DM>	*The lovecalc didn't do a thing, it seems. I guess 97% is a good thing.*
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 12. Total: 12.
<Kefka>	and a life
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka's boot will give you an extra life if it hits....... what.*
<Kefka>	*yawn*
<KefkaRolls>	$22d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 3, 6, 8, 3, 3, 5, 2, 8, 3, 2, 8, 10, 9, 8, 4, 6, 7, 4, 4, 2 and 4. Total: 119. Successes: 13.
<Kefka>	OBAMANATION <3 <3
<DM>	wut
<Darte>	$39d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 39 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 5, 8, 10, 5, 4, 8, 5, 6, 6, 4, 6, 10, 6, 3, 2, 4, 7, 4, 1, 5, 9, 8, 4, 1, 1, 3, 2, 10, 2, 4, 4, 5, 1, 8, 10, 4, 5 and 4. Total: 197. Successes: 24.
<Sephiroth>	39d10? O__O'
<DM>	*The boot misses, and Darte is rewarded ice cream for the remainder of the battle. You recover 4 hearts and magic at the start of each round.*
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	lmao
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Kefka's turn. DM: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
-Navi-	To end your turn in #zurpg, use $endturn.
<Kefka>	while also balancing a seal on his nose
<Kefka>	erfect!
<DM>	$1d5
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
<DM>	$fortune Darte
<Kefka>	Darte: When you speak honestly and openly, others truly listen to you.
<DM>	*DARTE EFFECT - If you tell a lie, Navi's dice rolls for you are not valid.*
<Darte>	i have lots of courage
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended their turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	seph u on?
*	Sephiroth whacks Kefka upside the head with a homerun bat. *WHAM*
<DM>	*Team Kefka is blasting off again!*
<Kefka>	it's a big work in progress
<Darte>	ahahahaha
<Darte>	$fortune Kefka
<Kefka>	Kefka: Someone is speaking well of you.
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - The act of him blasting off again is a big work in progress. In 10 rounds, he will automatically die.*
<Kefka>	play y 6
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT 2 - Darte speaks well of you. You accept this, and you can no longer target Darte. This lasts until the start of the third round.*
<Kefka>	Know what'd be really really evil?
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
<DM>	really
<DM>	REALLY
<Kefka>	You've never seen.
<Darte>	$endturn
<Navi>	Darte has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	yum.
<Sephiroth>	...
<Sephiroth>	that.
<Sephiroth>	was WIN.
<Sephiroth>	... ... .....
*	You've invited Darte to #zuchat (castleheck.tx.us.lunarnet.org)
*	You've invited Ramsey to #zuchat (castleheck.tx.us.lunarnet.org)
*	DM just accepts the boot to the head. It's too evil to redirect.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 23. Total: 23.
<Kefka>	lolwut
<KefkaRolls>	$33d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 4, 4, 1, 2, 8, 9, 2, 5, 8, 5, 7, 10, 6, 10, 3, 7, 4, 8, 8, 7, 7, 8, 4, 10, 1, 4, 9, 6, 8, 3, 1 and 7. Total: 192. Successes: 24.
<Kefka>	;P
*	DM takes another 12 damage.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in front of Kefka's Ambulance. I wonder where its going? «14,415»)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	CUZ YOU'RE NOT.
<DM>	..............
*	DM redirects the ambulance...
<DM>	$1d4
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*The ambulance turns around and proceeds to run over Ramsey! (Roll Power)
<Ramsey>	I CALL HAX!!
<Ramsey>	$17d10
<Navi>	Ramsey: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 5, 7, 6, 10, 7, 2, 1, 7, 5, 6, 3, 6, 5, 8, 10 and 1. Total: 92. Successes: 14.
<DM>	67h
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 14. Total: 14.
<Kefka>	3G is really slow here, wow.
<KefkaRolls>	$24d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 9, 5, 4, 5, 8, 7, 6, 8, 6, 3, 2, 10, 2, 3, 3, 9, 4, 7, 2, 3, 5, 6 and 2. Total: 122. Successes: 14.
<Kefka>	okay
<DM>	ROLLOFF
<Ramsey>	$17d10
<KefkaRolls>	$24d10
<Navi>	Ramsey: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 7, 9, 9, 2, 4, 9, 2, 4, 3, 5, 10, 3, 5, 8, 2 and 2. Total: 93. Successes: 10.
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 7, 10, 5, 5, 6, 6, 9, 2, 1, 5, 7, 4, 4, 10, 9, 1, 5, 6, 7, 3, 1, 10 and 6. Total: 130. Successes: 19.
<Kefka>	The jar shards there are probably suitable for your tileset. They're pretty simple.
<DM>	*Kefka tries to run Ramsey over, but his 3G network is really slow, so... Kefka bumps Ramsey with his ambulance for 1 neutral damage.*
<Kefka>	Sunset Link, now with 50%
<DM>	*Gurloz time!*
*	DM is banned from using $help, since that'd allow him to use redirect infinitely.
*	Gurloz summons an orb of light into the field.
<Gurloz>	13h, 10m.
<Gurloz>	$endturn
<Navi>	Gurloz has ended their turn. Ramsey: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	i never said who would die
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Someone is going to die, but Kefka hasn't said who. Just remember folks... people die if they are killed!*
<Kefka>	I'm not talking the backwards fuck story
<Darte>	"Tommy, don't kill friends."
<Gurloz>	*FIELD EFFECT - Illuminate is active, everyone loses 3 dice when attacking.
<Darte>	Best.  Line.  Ever.
*	Ramsey Flings the Orb of Patches at the DM.
<DM>	NANIDOKEN?!?!?!
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (BOOT TO THE HEAD!)
<Ramsey>	$36d10
<Navi>	Ramsey: You rolled 36 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 8, 8, 9, 5, 1, 2, 8, 6, 3, 5, 6, 1, 5, 5, 8, 6, 5, 7, 9, 5, 1, 3, 4, 8, 4, 6, 1, 10, 7, 5, 4, 9, 8, 9 and 9. Total: 208. Successes: 27.
<DM>	(uhhh, I don't see this item in your profile, what's it do?)
<Ramsey>	(You should know, you sent me the PM with it)
<Gurloz>	(How is he rolling 36d10)?
<Darte>	DUN DUN DUN
<Ramsey>	Requires Level 10
<Ramsey>	A floating orb controlled with one hand that can be flung at a target or used to alter your stats.
<Ramsey>	Fling!:
<Ramsey>	The orb is flung at a target at high speeds in a fit of rage, throwing the target off balance.
<Ramsey>	Roll your Courage dice +4 vs. targets' Courage dice
<Ramsey>	If the attack is successful, target's next attack is nerfed and lowered by 4 dice.
<Ramsey>	(I also get an extra 3 to attack rolls cause of my armor)
<Gurloz>	$calc 29+4-3
<Kefka>	29+4-3 = 30
<Gurloz>	$calc 30+3
<Kefka>	30+3 = 33
<DM>	oh right, that was sent via PM, though you never actually acquired the item... well, since I never gave clarification of acquiring the item, I'll let this pass and say you have the orb for this battle
<Gurloz>	(Illuminate is active, everyone loses 3 dice when attacking, deduct $3d10 from that roll.)
<Ramsey>	(See this is what happens when I don't play for several sessions cause of work)
<DM>	(lol)
<Darte>	btw, name should totally be Patchwork orb
<DM>	it's actually called Orb of Patch Notes
<DM>	$3d10
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 8 and 8. Total: 19. Successes: 2.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
<DM>	42h
*	Kefka nullifies the ambulance.
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	and with the 8600 it jumped to 5.7
<Darte>	ahh
<Ramsey>	(This is the first Saturday I've had off since I start)
<Ramsey>	$endturn
<Navi>	Ramsey has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	Not what Ive heard/done
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in another window, which in turn gets you kicked out the window again. Wait... what? «14,416»)
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a cave! «14,417»)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	It hogs a lot less ram, too
<Kefka>	Do think in terms of the policemen and being adequately prepared,
<DM>	*You're all in a dark, gloomy cave. Oh wait, orb of light is illuminating things. So nothing is happening. Boring.*
*	DM requests Sephiroth for another kick.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in Hyrule! «14,418»)
*	DM face-palms.
*	DM pokes Sephiroth for yet another....... cause that one is useless, lol.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a bio containment chamber where you will be exposed to Phazon! «14,419»)
<DM>	there we go- HOLY CRAP
<DM>	*On your turn, you can choose to instead get away from the phazon. Otherwise, you will take 4 burn damage (neutral).*
<DM>	annnd forgot to roll affinities again....
<DM>	$1d5
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*Kefka has Fire 5 and Shadow 5!*
<Kefka>	I dunno, I like EXP
<DM>	*Kefka casts Feeding Darkness!*
<Kefka>	Thank you
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka thanks the DM. DM will not redirect the next attack from Kefka aimed him.*
<Kefka>	"mainstream" music is becoming a thing of the past
<DM>	CURSE YOU KEFKA FOR THANKING ME
<Kefka>	'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Kefka's turn. DM: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
-Navi-	To end your turn in #zurpg, use $endturn.
<Kefka>	Probably. :-/
<Kefka>	[19:28] <Culex> *counts*
<DM>	$1d4
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 3. Total: 3.
<DM>	$fortune Ramsey
<Kefka>	Ramsey: The person who will not stand for something will fall for anything.
<Ramsey>	"What if I won't stand for falling?"
<DM>	*RAMSEY EFFECT - Paradox occured. Currently processing existence. I have no idea what's happening right now.*
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended their turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	I have magic powers.
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Kefka's Wisdom is increased by 5 from his magic powers!*
<Kefka>	Sure, I could start it up. I may idle for bits of time at points though.
<Darte>	Stands in place and fires his clone arrows!
*	DM and Kefka took 4 burn damage from the phazon, derp.
<DM>	38h
<Darte>	$34d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 4, 2, 6, 10, 6, 5, 8, 4, 8, 10, 4, 2, 3, 3, 9, 10, 3, 6, 1, 9, 3, 10, 6, 9, 10, 9, 5, 9, 1, 10, 10, 1 and 7. Total: 207. Successes: 28.
<Darte>	(courage)
<DM>	(at who?)
<Darte>	Kefka.
<Kefka>	Jeez, how long did it take them to model that? O_o
<DM>	*KEFKA DEFENSE EFFECT - I dunno, how long did it take you to roll?8
<Kefka>	I got my DSi back today
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 15. Total: 15.
<Kefka>	and Ky's an idiot.
<KefkaRolls>	$25d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 6, 7, 5, 3, 7, 3, 7, 7, 1, 4, 9, 9, 9, 5, 7, 6, 9, 8, 3, 9, 5, 10, 7 and 7. Total: 154. Successes: 20.
<Kefka>	"i'm going to get a lawyer and take care of this the legal way because i side with JUSTICE"
<Darte>	$22d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 9, 9, 9, 8, 4, 7, 5, 6, 2, 1, 3, 9, 1, 10, 2, 3, 2, 2, 2, 3 and 4. Total: 106. Successes: 11.
<Darte>	(Wisdom)
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
<Kefka>	Agorakin is very similar to Bass, but in a "Holy Guardian" sort of way.
<KefkaRolls>	$15d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 5, 8, 2, 4, 7, 1, 6, 6, 10, 1, 6, 8, 3 and 7. Total: 78. Successes: 10.
<Kefka>	Yay new chest for my priest!! I have +40 to spell damage and +46 to healing... almost ready for the t6 raids j/k
<DM>	*Kefka takes another 8 damage.*
<Kefka>	Wow. Learn to type, DM.
*	DM has Typo Fever- WHAT?!
<DM>	HWOAGFO
<DM>	WHAT
*	Darte takes 4 burn damage.
<DM>	Keafkfwe a I heahete you
<Darte>	15h14m
<Darte>	$endturn
<Navi>	Darte has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	You can get RE5 for 19.99 if you trade in 2 games that are on either of those 3 lists.
*	Gurloz siphons 1 magic from all enemies.
*	Darte gains 4h4m
<Darte>	19h15m
<Gurloz>	13h, 11m.
<DM>	*Kefka is at 30h | 999 magic*
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a businessman! Is that your dad? «14,420»)
<Kefka>	So you have NO idea when it's coming
<Darte>	Mmm ice-cream
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	:(
<DM>	<Kefka> So you have NO idea when it's coming --> noe i dontae
<Kefka>	Oh, okay.
<DM>	*FIELD EFFECT - You can now make deals with me to gain effects. Business is good.*
<DM>	*Feeding Darkness and Illuminate simultaneously go off.... what.*
<DM>	*Illuminate first.*
<DM>	$1d4
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*Kefka has Fire 5, Nature 5, and Shadow 5.*
<Kefka>	stuffs
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
<Gurloz>	$30d10
<Navi>	Gurloz: You rolled 30 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 4, 3, 7, 7, 2, 7, 1, 10, 1, 7, 3, 6, 9, 2, 4, 8, 5, 7, 4, 10, 4, 1, 6, 1, 9, 3, 1 and 6. Total: 143. Successes: 16.
*	DM accepts the ambulance- oh god dangit.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
<Kefka>	this is why it doesn't finish itself
<KefkaRolls>	$19d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 3, 3, 10, 5, 5, 1, 10, 6, 3, 6, 9, 1, 3, 8, 10, 4, 4 and 7. Total: 101. Successes: 13.
<Kefka>	PROSPEKT. I HAVE SEEN YOUR FUTURE.
*	KefkaRolls deals 13 damage to DM with his ambulance.
<DM>	25h
<DM>	*Everyone roll Wisdom against Illuminate!*
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 14. Total: 14.
<Kefka>	I don't even think this new DVD drive
<KefkaRolls>	$24d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 9, 8, 8, 4, 7, 2, 1, 5, 6, 10, 6, 2, 7, 7, 5, 7, 7, 5, 9, 7, 10, 6 and 7. Total: 149. Successes: 21.
<Kefka>	this... thread...
<Gurloz>	Allies are healed by 4 hears.
<Gurloz>	hearts, even.
<DM>	oh
<Gurloz>	damn typoes.
<DM>	nvm that
<DM>	*Kefka dodges the ball of light. His darkness of doom retaliates at Gurloz! (Roll Wisdom)
<Kefka>	lol
*	Gurloz points at DM.
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - He's laughing out loud. ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THA- eh?
<Gurloz>	You get hit by it too..
<Kefka>	However
<DM>	oh right
*	DM takes 16 damage and drops to 9h.
<DM>	oh, damage halved
*	DM takes 8 damage and drops to 17h.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 23. Total: 23.
<Kefka>	plus sloooow moving tiles. and conveyors.
*	Gurloz defends.
<KefkaRolls>	(on top of the +5 Wisdom from earlier... holy crap)
<Gurloz>	$27d10
<Navi>	Gurloz: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 1, 10, 7, 3, 10, 10, 7, 10, 7, 10, 2, 7, 4, 3, 7, 2, 1, 9, 4, 9, 1, 6, 9, 7, 8 and 1. Total: 163. Successes: 22.
<KefkaRolls>	$38d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 38 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 8, 5, 4, 8, 5, 1, 2, 2, 9, 4, 8, 8, 5, 1, 5, 8, 8, 6, 2, 10, 5, 1, 4, 3, 2, 6, 8, 10, 9, 10, 8, 6, 4, 10, 2, 1 and 6. Total: 207. Successes: 27.
<Kefka>	.. or so my mind works.
<KefkaRolls>	+5 successes
<Darte>	No
<Darte>	your mind does not work
<DM>	KEFKA, DOES YOUR MIND WORK?
<Kefka>	Hell!
<Darte>	stop thinking so loud
<Kefka>	Line Added: stop thinking so loud
*	Gurloz takes 8 damage and drops to 5 hearts.
<DM>	*Kefka's mind works in Hell.*
<Kefka>	russ, i think selection limits the area you can change with the other tools
<Darte>	wut
<Gurloz>	5h, 11m.
<Gurloz>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	HI WIND
<DM>	*Darte is capable of being a target of- what
<DM>	*Kefka proceeds to say hi to WindStrike, who is DM, meaning.... crap, he's sticking a fortune on me.*
<Kefka>	VILENESS - 10: For millions of people, listening to "Stuck in the Middle with You" will never be the same.
<KefkaRolls>	$fortune DM
<Kefka>	DM: Don't let friends impose on you, work calmly and silently.
<Ramsey>	"But what if they impose on you calmly and silently?"
<DM>	*DM EFFECT - Kefka, my friend, no longer imposes on me. $torture is off until I die.*
<Kefka>	lmao
<Darte>	I am untargetable until the end of this round.
<DM>	until start of 3rd round... it's the third round... or did I say end....
<DM>	$switch torture
<Kefka>	$torture: This command may not be disabled, DM.
<Darte>	I'd recorded end... :3
<DM>	.... crap.
<DM>	*DM EFFECT NOT VALID. ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION.*
*	Gurloz grabs his White Sword and charges at the DM! Roll Courage!
<Gurloz>	$25d10
<Navi>	Gurloz: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 7, 7, 7, 4, 9, 9, 8, 1, 3, 8, 5, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 4, 10, 4, 4, 3, 7 and 1. Total: 118. Successes: 11.
<Gurloz>	Damage + 1.
<DM>	KEFKA, SAVE ME!
<Kefka>	because HOW IS "THE LAND OF ENDED GAMES" NOT SELF-EXPLANATORY TO HIM
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Kefka (*Drives a random ambulance over you!*)
<Gurloz>	Electrocute:
<Gurloz>	Gives the weapon Nature affinity
<Gurloz>	When you successfully hit a target, target gets the Electrified Affliction:
<Gurloz>	Target's armor loses 1 damage reduction.
<Gurloz>	Target's armor cannot have negative damage reduction.
<Gurloz>	Electrified lasts for the remainder of the battle.
<Gurloz>	$endturn
<Navi>	Gurloz has ended their turn. Ramsey: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), DM (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	performance obviously
*	DM doesn't even need to do a death line for that.
<DM>	$removeme
<Navi>	DM has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Ramsey (4), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	lol
*	Sephiroth forces DM to do a death line for it anyways.
<DM>	screw you too, Kefka
<Kefka>	oh god
<DM>	kay
*	Ramsey swings the scythe at Kefka then moves to leave.  (Roll courage)
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 24. Total: 24.
<Kefka>	This water is strenghtening my headache :(
<Sephiroth>	$torture off
<Kefka>	$torture: No longer torturing WindStrike.
<Ramsey>	$32d10
<Navi>	Ramsey: You rolled 32 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 4, 10, 1, 7, 10, 9, 3, 8, 7, 10, 1, 9, 10, 5, 4, 2, 6, 4, 4, 8, 6, 8, 6, 8, 8, 5, 10, 7, 1, 5 and 4. Total: 193. Successes: 26.
<KefkaRolls>	$34d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 10, 7, 5, 3, 10, 1, 9, 5, 10, 7, 5, 8, 10, 10, 6, 6, 5, 6, 9, 8, 8, 9, 10, 3, 7, 7, 10, 7, 6, 4, 9 and 7. Total: 235. Successes: 36.
<Kefka>	WE GET SIGNAL!
*	KefkaRolls gets his signal for his 3G network suddenly, and with a VWOOM, he dodges out of Ramsey's way.
*	Ramsey has quit (Quit: Leaving)
*	Sephiroth is now known as Ramsey
<Ramsey>	$removeme
*	Ramsey is now known as Sephiroth
<Navi>	Ramsey has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	Oh
<DM>	*DM, in an effort to survive, calls out to Kefka to save him. Kefka proceeds to run DM over. KEESE AND CO. deny DM of enlightenment. And no one ate dinner that night.*
<Kefka>	i'm bisexual you twit
<DM>	that's disturbing....
<Sephiroth>	lol
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on the highway! «14,421»)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	"/admin"
<Kefka>	ROFL
<DM>	wut
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - He's admin status. ... oh dear.*
<Kefka>	!k
<DM>	... did Kefka just try to kick himself?
<Kefka>	great.
<Darte>	AHAHAHAH
<Darte>	He's kicking himself for not investing in Microsoft before Ballmer's announcment
<DM>	*FIELD EFFECT - You're on a highway. Oncomming traffic has been replaced by Kefka's ambulance. At the start of each turn, Kefka's ambulance will hit a random target (Roll Power to defend).*
<Kefka>	I think my mother let him in
<DM>	*Kefka's mother, Jenova, let the ambulance in. .......... wait, that's Sephiroth's mother.*
<Kefka>	Do think in terms of the policemen and being adequately prepared,
<DM>	I think I got things slightly backwards there.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on MechaHitler and his robotic Nazi Brigade! «14,422»)
<DM>	really
<Darte>	Aww, you're finishing Kefka's sentences
<Kefka>	lol
*	WindStrike is now known as MechaHitler
<MechaHitler>	$init j
<Navi>	MechaHitler: You have entered the fray!
*	X_X is now known as GrammarNazi
<GrammarNazi>	$init j
<Navi>	GrammarNazi: You have entered the fray!
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1), MechaHitler (0) and GrammarNazi (0).
<Kefka>	Sakray
<DM>	$1d5
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*Kefka is hit by his own ambulance! HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!*
<Kefka>	in BC2, I played a match and for once didn't take the game seriously like I normally do, and got a 6 kill streak!
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Kefka>	I want my headcrab hat
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<Kefka>	First time, I tried to get SADX, and when I took the box to the counter, the game wasn't in it, and they had no copy of the game whatsoever
<KefkaRolls>	$19d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 9, 1, 10, 1, 3, 9, 3, 7, 6, 9, 1, 4, 7, 7, 5, 2, 3 and 1. Total: 92. Successes: 10.
<KefkaRolls>	$12d10
<Kefka>	fake virus makes kirby song
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 5, 1, 7, 7, 8, 3, 7, 1, 1, 4 and 1. Total: 51. Successes: 6.
<Kefka>	Sioux Falls, SD: Conditions: Clear, Temperature: 71.1 F (21.7 C), Wind: From the NW at 3.0 MPH Gusting to 3.0 MPH, Humidity: 60%
<Kefka>	and I was like, "ooh, zelda. ooh, make your own games"
<DM>	*Kefka runs himself over with his own ambulance, taking 4 damage!*
<Kefka>	oh yes...
<DM>	*Kefka seems to enjoy it, too.*
<Kefka>	Arenitha needs about 100 arcanite bars.
<DM>	Kefka - 26h | Lots of magic
<Kefka>	lol skype
<DM>	$1d5
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 5 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*Kefka throws a pie at- oh wait, that's impossible...
<DM>	$1d4
<Kefka>	dfg
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 4. Total: 4.
<DM>	*Kefka throws a pie at GrammarNazi!*
<Kefka>	... Woah. I forgot to go grab it.
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - He forgot to grab the pie. Therefore, this pie is being thrown by Kefka's lack of grabbing skills.*
<Kefka>	Hi
<DM>	$pie GrammarNazi
*	Kefka throws a Cream pie at GrammarNazi as requested by DM. I threw 110 pies on LunarNet.
*	GrammarNazi receives a movie-full of cream pie at his face. This is how Nazis everywhere are treated.
*	GrammarNazi returns to his homeland in shame.
*	GrammarNazi has quit (Quit: Leaving)
*	You are now known as GrammarNazi
<GrammarNazi>	$removeme
<Navi>	GrammarNazi has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1) and MechaHitler (0).
*	You are now known as DM
<Kefka>	i rly hate it wen peoples grammer and speling and puctuations ar awlays worng
<DM>	brb dying laughing
<Sephiroth>	..... ......
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Kefka's turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1) and MechaHitler (0).
<Kefka>	sicles
<Kefka>	is a sociopathic little beast.
<DM>	Kefka - 26h | Lots of magic
<Kefka>	but that's kinda lol
*	Darte faces Kefka
<DM>	*Kefka faces Darte back.*
<Kefka>	3 day weekend!!!!! Never sleeping
<Darte>	$google i want to be the guy
<Kefka>	$google: I Wanna Be The Guy: The Movie: The Game is a sardonic loveletter to the halcyon days of early American videogaming, packaged as a nail-rippingly difficult ... http://kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/
<DM>	*DARTE EFFECT - You are now The Movie: The Game. You are nail-rippingly difficult to get hit, gaining +8 dice when defending. However, if you are hit, you abide by the laws of said sadistic games and die instantly.*
<DM>	Kefka, what are your thoughts on Super Meat Boy?
<Kefka>	everything ok?
<Darte>	$endturn
<Navi>	Darte has ended their turn. MechaHitler: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2), Darte (1) and MechaHitler (0).
<Kefka>	and batteries
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - He's alright at Super Meat Boy. He beat a few levels, but that's it. Kefka is incapable of beating The Movie: The Game, though, and can only drop Darte down to 1 Heart.*
<Kefka>	expansion even
<MechaHitler>	HELLO. I AM MECHA HITLER. HEIL ME.
<DM>	MechaHitler, using your German superiority, calculate the value of pi.
<MechaHitler>	$google pi
<Kefka>	[WindStrike] STOP! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.
<Kefka>	$google: It has been represented by the Greek letter "π" since the mid-18th century, though it is also sometimes written as "pi" (/paɪ/). π is an irrational number, which ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi
<MechaHitler>	ERROR
<MechaHitler>	ERROR
<MechaHitler>	WIKIPEDIA DOES NOT KNOW PI
<MechaHitler>	I AM ERROR
<MechaHitler>	I AM IRRATIONAL
<MechaHitler>	THE CAKE IS A LIE
<Darte>	ahaaaaaaaaahahahah
*	Sephiroth blows MechaHitler up with a Creeper!
<Sephiroth>	Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
*	Sephiroth has kicked MechaHitler from #zurpg (BOOM! «14,423»)
*	MechaHitler (WindStrike@24.246.163.12) has joined #zurpg
*	MechaHitler attempts to calculate pi, but he is blown up by a creeper before he himself self-destructs.
<MechaHitler>	$removeme
<Navi>	MechaHitler has removed theirself from the battle. Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
*	MechaHitler has quit (Quit: Leaving)
<Kefka>	why in god's name did I jump from "Barbie Girl" to this?
<DM>	$1d3
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in a Windows directory, slamming into the fonts folder! Fonts go flying everywhere. «14,424»)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Gurloz: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	there's no whitelist renoki
<DM>	*Kefka has Fire 5, Nature 5, Light 5, and Shadow 5.*
<Kefka>	sorry
<DM>	*Feeding Darkness attempts to hit two targets, but some flying fonts block one of the hits.*
<DM>	$1d3
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 3 Sides. Result: 2. Total: 2.
<DM>	*Kefka once again hits himself with Feeding Darkness! (Roll Wisdom)
<Kefka>	Oh.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 19. Total: 19.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Kefka>	oh, top gear's on.
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 4. Total: 4.
<Kefka>	uh ... okay? O_o'
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - Top gear IS on.*
<Kefka>	hey , Dustminiom
<KefkaRolls>	$34d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 5, 4, 8, 8, 7, 10, 7, 10, 7, 7, 4, 6, 9, 8, 1, 10, 6, 9, 9, 3, 1, 1, 5, 5, 8, 9, 10, 5, 10, 7, 9, 1 and 7. Total: 222. Successes: 32.
<Kefka>	._.
<KefkaRolls>	$19d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 4, 3, 3, 10, 8, 5, 4, 6, 2, 10, 10, 3, 1, 4, 3, 4, 8 and 5. Total: 102. Successes: 12.
<Kefka>	it did
*	KefkaRolls painfully drops himself to 10 hearts.
<DM>	*Kefka - 10h | Lots of magic*
<Kefka>	that's probably like
<DM>	*Gurloz time!*
*	Gurloz grabs his Bloody Edge and swings at Kefka! (Roll COurage!)
<Gurloz>	$24d10
<Navi>	Gurloz: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 5, 10, 5, 9, 10, 8, 10, 2, 6, 5, 3, 8, 9, 4, 5, 4, 6, 8, 3, 10, 2, 5 and 4. Total: 146. Successes: 21.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 23. Total: 23.
<Kefka>	wow these new areas are wtf hard
<KefkaRolls>	$33d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 9, 4, 3, 1, 8, 4, 9, 10, 4, 5, 8, 7, 7, 10, 6, 3, 6, 3, 2, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 1, 10, 9, 6, 9, 6, 2 and 6. Total: 197. Successes: 25.
<Kefka>	Or random s*** punctuation
*	Gurloz hurls a reroll at Kefka.
<DM>	(which one, the 1d30 or the 33d10?
<Gurloz>	1d30
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 25. Total: 25.
<Kefka>	Sakray
<Gurloz>	....
<KefkaRolls>	$35d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 9, 9, 5, 9, 3, 1, 8, 4, 5, 5, 3, 9, 9, 4, 9, 4, 8, 7, 4, 7, 8, 9, 4, 6, 3, 10, 6, 5, 9, 4, 2, 10, 2 and 2. Total: 211. Successes: 24.
<Kefka>	at least make some unimportant guy with a bunch of eggs
*	Gurloz misses.
<Gurloz>	$endturn
<Navi>	Gurloz has ended their turn. Sephiroth: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	Know what?
<DM>	*Kefka gets a Sakray. I have no idea what that means, but it probably blocked Gurloz's strike.*
<Kefka>	I can't stop laughing, and I'm happier than ever... how on earth can this be bad?
<DM>	*KEFKA EFFECT - He's being the guy he's based off of for once. Dancing Mad starts playing.*
<Kefka>	oh dear.
<DM>	(Here's a decent version of Dancing Mad - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=525iqnY5O1c
<Kefka>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbXVNKtmWnc
<DM>	.......
<DM>	how
<DM>	how did
<DM>	how did that happen
<DM>	oh, you manually said it, I was gonna say, that... shouldn't have been possible
<DM>	*Kefka is now dancing madly. He now rolls $1d35 instead of $1d30.*
<Kefka>	I know... That just doesnt seem to be the addon it talks about or I am dumb.. oh well :P
<Darte>	wait a second
<Darte>	Kefka
<Kefka>	I'm getting a headache
<Darte>	is based on Sephiroth
<Darte>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xsbTlrpkg4
<DM>	heck yes to that one
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	Sioux Falls, SD: Conditions: Clear, Temperature: 71.1 F (21.7 C), Wind: From the NW at 3.0 MPH Gusting to 3.0 MPH, Humidity: 60%
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on the side-walk! «14,425»)
<Sephiroth>	$endturn
<Navi>	Sephiroth has ended their turn. Kefka: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	Voice recognition in Olympus Burning!
<Kefka>	The fate of the universe is at stake!!
<DM>	*UNIVERSE EFFECT - Dancing Mad is affecting the state of the universe. If Kefka is not defeated, the universe will explode.*
<Kefka>	or IN
<DM>	also Sephiroth, kick me again, need something less boring
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in front of Kefka's Ambulance. I wonder where its going? «14,426»)
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a flagpole? O_o «14,427»)
<Darte>	or experiences mild rae
<Darte>	*rape
<Sephiroth>	LOL
<DM>	... Sephiroth, rape me with your kicks again... mildly.
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed under a bridge! «14,428»)
<DM>	just keep kicking till we find a good one
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on an overturned trash can! «14,429»)
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in Windows Vista! «14,430»)
<DM>	oooooh
<DM>	nvm, I can't come up with anything
<DM>	it's just that bad
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed in the pants! «14,431»)
<Darte>	ahahaa
<Darte>	AHAHAH.
<DM>	oh my
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	And she was just in the 2nd, possibly the third, but she wasn't the main chick
<DM>	$1d4
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 1. Total: 1.
<DM>	*You have all landed in Sephiroth's pants!*
<DM>	*Sephiroth will now choose the field effect. After all, it's his pants.*
*	DM gets the ice cream out while Sephiroth attempts to figure out what's going on inside his pants.
<Sephiroth>	*FIELD EFFECT - You are in the pants! Roll courage against the pants to escape, lest you want to be raped and take $1d15 damage!
<KefkaRolls>	$1d30
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 30 Sides. Result: 6. Total: 6.
<Kefka>	Lawl
<KefkaRolls>	oh crap
<KefkaRolls>	$16d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 7, 8, 6, 5, 7, 9, 1, 5, 4, 1, 8, 2, 4, 5 and 3. Total: 76. Successes: 9.
<Kefka>	$recall
<DM>	wut
<DM>	hang on, what did Kefka just try to $recall?
<Kefka>	I dunno. Golden Sun 2 is pretty awesome.
<Sephiroth>	$25d10
<Navi>	Sephiroth: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 9, 3, 6, 9, 3, 5, 2, 3, 8, 4, 5, 1, 4, 7, 6, 1, 3, 1, 3, 7, 3, 1, 10 and 6. Total: 114. Successes: 12.
<Darte>	$47d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 47 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 10, 1, 6, 2, 5, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 6, 3, 7, 3, 4, 4, 7, 2, 7, 2, 7, 6, 5, 2, 6, 6, 9, 9, 9, 7, 4, 1, 6, 7, 9, 10, 1, 7, 3, 10, 9 and 7. Total: 243. Successes: 30.
<DM>	*Darte gets to counterattack Sephiroth's pants!*
<KefkaRolls>	$1d15
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 15 Sides. Result: 5. Total: 5.
<Kefka>	Charter High-Speed is the second-worst-rated cable ISP on dslreports.com [20], and Consumer Reports indicated in their February 2008 issue that Charter's television/Internet/telephone bundle collectively is the worst of all major national carriers.
*	KefkaRolls takes 5 damage and drops to 5h.
<DM>	*Kefka was unable to dance madly in Sephiroth's pants. He was then raped by said pants. This caused Kefka to go back to dancing madly. Insert eye bleach now.*
<Kefka>	WORST ACTING EVER.
*	Darte fires a Waterlance at Kefka's pants.
<Darte>	er
<Darte>	Sephiroth's pants.
<Darte>	Kefkiroth
<Darte>	bah
*	Sephiroth kicks Darte out the window.
*	Sephiroth has kicked Darte from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on a sword! «14,432»)
<DM>	*Sephiroth's pants' raping skills have horrible acting skills.*
<Darte>	oO.Oo
<Darte>	$22d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 22 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 10, 5, 9, 6, 7, 5, 2, 2, 4, 10, 3, 2, 6, 2, 1, 7, 10, 6, 1, 7 and 4. Total: 115. Successes: 16.
<DM>	*Waterlance ignores damage reduction. Do Sephiroth's pants have the wisdom to defend against such an attack?!*
*	Sephiroth kicks DM out the window.
*	You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on an overturned trash can! «14,433»)
*	DM hath been trashed by thy trash can. He suddenly knows how Yosuke feels.
*	DM does the trash can dance while listening to Johnny's Got That Funk! - http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m96h2lwubA1rq6wf0.gif
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	So
<KefkaRolls>	$lovecalc Sephiroth, Darte
<Kefka>	The chance of a successful sexual relationship between Sephiroth and Darte is 100%.
<DM>	so, how lovecalc works... if it hits both of the targets that it's used on
<Sephiroth>	....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
<Sephiroth>	.............................................................................................................
<DM>	their hearts' percentage is set the percentage that $lovecalc spits out
<Darte>	o.o
<Darte>	rounded up of course
<DM>	simultaneously though, Darte is supposed to die if he gets hit, but drops to 1 heart instead if Kefka hits him, so.......
<Kefka>	http/ironfish.exaltedlegion.com/ZC/music/ST.6.MIDI
<Darte>	too bad I'm already healthy
*	DM cancels $lovecalc and forces Kefka to roll a fortune instead before we cause another paradox.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d2
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Heads (1). Results: 1 Head (1) - 0 Tails (2).
<Kefka>	[Lithium] <Nate> I have a very large hunger for peaness
<KefkaRolls>	$fortune Gurloz
<Kefka>	Gurloz: Don't forget to do good deeds as you accumulate wealth.
<Darte>	O.O
<DM>	*GURLOZ EFFECT - When you accumulate wealth, do a good deed. Something good will happen.*
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Kefka's turn. Darte: It is your turn now.
<Navi>	Turn Order: Sephiroth (8), Gurloz (5), Sephiroth (3), Kefka (2) and Darte (1).
<Kefka>	BUT THEY'LL LET ME TAKE MY DAD'S OLD WINDOWS 95 LAPPY.
<Kefka>	Stop bugging me about it >:(
<DM>	*Kefka gets his dad's 95 lappy. It dances madly with Kefka as well. Kefka gains 3 damage reduction by using his windows 95 laptop as a shield!*
<Kefka>	what is the gold rate on your server
<Darte>	Hhhehehe.  Have fun with your PS/2 mouse and blue screens.
*	Darte swings at Kefka with his Zora Blades.
<DM>	*Darte's comment causes Kefka to immediately throw away his windows 95 laptop. It lands in DM's trashcan, which he's still dancing with.*
<Kefka>	I think Lithium and I tipped him over the edge
<Darte>	LOL.
<Darte>	$34d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 1, 3, 6, 5, 10, 4, 8, 5, 9, 2, 9, 6, 3, 8, 1, 5, 8, 6, 6, 7, 3, 7, 9, 5, 2, 5, 9, 3, 4, 10, 10, 6 and 5. Total: 193. Successes: 26.
<Darte>	(courage)
<DM>	*Kefka and Lithium appeared to have tipped DM over the edge. He has fallen out of his outpost in heaven.*
<Kefka>	I just went on an unrelated tanget
*	KefkaRolls is back to dancing mad, fyi.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d35
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 35 Sides. Result: 33. Total: 33.
<Kefka>	LOL
<DM>	hooooly crap
<KefkaRolls>	$43d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 43 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 1, 8, 8, 9, 2, 3, 3, 10, 6, 8, 3, 2, 10, 6, 8, 2, 5, 9, 7, 9, 1, 9, 4, 4, 10, 7, 3, 2, 7, 2, 3, 6, 1, 2, 10, 8, 5, 5, 10, 3, 7 and 5. Total: 243. Successes: 32.
<Kefka>	also
<Darte>	$34d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 9, 9, 10, 1, 7, 1, 6, 1, 9, 4, 9, 8, 1, 9, 1, 8, 7, 9, 5, 8, 1, 4, 10, 6, 10, 8, 10, 1, 9, 1, 10 and 6. Total: 203. Successes: 27.
<KefkaRolls>	$1d35
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 1 Die with 35 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
<Kefka>	I mean, if you drastically cut down their height, they'd look better.
<KefkaRolls>	$19d10
<Navi>	KefkaRolls: You rolled 19 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 4, 10, 7, 7, 4, 6, 6, 7, 6, 2, 6, 10, 2, 5, 6, 5, 5 and 10. Total: 116. Successes: 18.
<Kefka>	aight.
<Darte>	+1
<DM>	Hey Kefka, why don't you try calling for mommy?
<Kefka>	Well
<DM>	OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A MOMMY KEFKA, HAHAHAHAHAHAH
<Darte>	He seems... reluctant
<Kefka>	one spell summons a specific mount
<Kefka>	TS is just that awesome.
<Kefka>	... Because mommy is in Heaven where she belongs.
<Darte>	Serphiroth's the one with a mommy, silly.
<Darte>	*mommy issues
<DM>	*TS is not awesome. Culex is. Get it right, Kefka.*
<Kefka>	I am always purring.
*	Sephiroth kicks Darte out the window.
*	Sephiroth has kicked Darte from #zurpg (You have been kicked out the window and you landed near two bears mating! This could get ugly! «14,434»)
<DM>	*Darte, roll Power to defend!*
<Darte>	O.O
<Darte>	you've killed me, you know that
<Darte>	$23d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 23 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 4, 4, 7, 4, 2, 6, 4, 8, 6, 9, 7, 2, 1, 8, 1, 5, 7, 4, 10, 9, 2 and 7. Total: 123. Successes: 14.
<DM>	hey, that's what you get for equipping zora blades
<Darte>	Oh goodness
<Darte>	wait
<Darte>	d'oh
<Darte>	That's 5 too many
<DM>	*With a flurry of slashes, Darte slices, dices, and dances on Kefka's corpse madly.*
<Kefka>	IT'S FAST AND FREE
<DM>	*Freely, too.*
<Darte>	$18d10
<Navi>	Darte: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 5, 1, 5, 9, 2, 8, 1, 3, 9, 2, 9, 1, 7, 7, 7 and 5. Total: 86. Successes: 10.
<Darte>	:'(
<Bear1>	$40d10
<Navi>	Bear1: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 10, 4, 3, 9, 10, 1, 8, 6, 8, 5, 2, 1, 10, 1, 1, 5, 1, 9, 1, 3, 9, 2, 10, 4, 7, 5, 2, 9, 2, 6, 7, 4, 1, 3, 6, 2, 2, 4 and 6. Total: 199. Successes: 25.
<Bear2>	$40d10
<Navi>	Bear2: You rolled 40 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 5, 7, 7, 9, 3, 10, 2, 1, 6, 6, 9, 8, 8, 6, 3, 10, 6, 10, 8, 10, 3, 7, 4, 7, 10, 1, 4, 1, 2, 5, 7, 6, 8, 6, 7, 3, 8, 10 and 6. Total: 249. Successes: 36.
<Darte>	oh goodness
<Darte>	le death
<DM>	*Darte's cries for help are negated by the sounds of two bears mating in a rather thrilling, gruelling, and censored scene.*
<DM>	$init r
<Navi>	DM: The bot has been reset.
<Darte>	Straaight out of the Oatmeal. :'(
<DM>	Okay, so that battle was pretty much Kefka killing himself the entire time, good god.
<Kefka>	So you are a sophomore?
<Darte>	$die
<DM>	+80 EXP to Gurloz, Darte, and Ramsey
<DM>	+400 Rupees to them as well
*	Darte grovels.
<Sephiroth>	$calc 57+80
<Kefka>	57+80 = 137
<Darte>	Th-thank you master
<DM>	(Fyi, if it had actually reached round 6, at which point Kefka would've had all 6 affinities.... he has a move called Taste the Rainbow.*
<Kefka>	:(
<Sephiroth>	$calc 137-75
<Kefka>	137-75 = 62
<Darte>	Ahahahaha
<Darte>	That reaction
<DM>	annnd random item drops from Kefka' death
<Kefka>	i thought drinking enough coffee would make anything go faster
<DM>	*Kefka's coffee drinking caused his demise to go faster.*
<Kefka>	are there seriously valentine's day apps
<DM>	$google Valentine's Day Apps
<Kefka>	$google: App developers are cashing in on the business of love. Download these apps just in time for Valentine's Day. http://www.inc.com/ss/kc-ifeanyi/5-must-have-valentines-day-apps
<DM>	Yes, Kefka. There are.
<Kefka>	and endless stream
<DM>	yep
<Darte>	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwe9Qxo3_Cs
<DM>	let's go with..... d14, cause all the #3 scrolls are added
<DM>	$3d14
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 14 Sides. Result: 7, 10 and 5. Total: 22.
<Darte>	why does Ctrl-W work on zuchat. O.o
<Darte>	$recall
<DM>	lol
<DM>	-=KEFKA IS FINISHED=-
<Kefka>	im awful at tetris
*	DM pwns Kefka in Tetris.