Uh-hmmm

Cold Edge Anon part 26

Dec 27th, 2016
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  1. > You end up giving Mara a tour of your mansion.
  2. > She makes appreciative noises, often commenting that it really looks much better during the day.
  3. > At the end of the tour, she turns to you and asks sweetly,
  4. "And where are the cleaning supplies?"
  5. "Cleaning supplies?"
  6. > She nods.
  7. "I can hardly expect to stay with you two for free. I'm pretty confident in my cleaning abilities, including laundry and organization."
  8. > You glance at Frozen, who just blinks.
  9. "Ah, we don't really have anything to clean."
  10. > Mara looks uneasy.
  11. "Clothes?"
  12. "I make them if I need them. Like so."
  13. > You spin a tie out of ice.
  14. > Mara frowns.
  15. "The same with personal items?"
  16. > You shrug.
  17. "I haven't been here that long, and ice does most of what I want it to."
  18. > Mara turns to Frozen.
  19. "Birds of a feather, I see."
  20. > Frozen smiles.
  21. > Mara returns her attention to you.
  22. "I am a stellar cook."
  23. > She gets nervous.
  24. "Anonymous, you do eat, right?"
  25. > It's your turn to be uncertain.
  26. "We're talking normal pony food, not actually cooking stars?"
  27. > She laughs gently behind her hoof.
  28. "Stars can't be cooked, Anon. I shall be your live-in chef, if that is acceptable."
  29. "Ah, sure?"
  30. > It's not like she'll cost much to have around, having already been fed for four months.
  31. > Just then, your stomach growls.
  32. > Mara beams.
  33. "Duty calls."
  34. > Then her face falls.
  35. "Where was the kitchen again?"
  36.  
  37. > As you enter your entrance hall, space warps and you catch a glimpse of Discord waving at you.
  38. > You wave back, and Luna appears, slightly disoriented.
  39. > She calls out in her Royal Canterlot Voice,
  40. "I HAVE TRACED THE PATH OF THE MONSTER TO THY HOME, ANONYMOUS! BEWARE LEST THOU BE PREYED UPON!"
  41. > Mara is offended.
  42. "The Monster!?"
  43. > You take a few steps forward.
  44. "A little late, Luna. But it's fine now, she's my chef."
  45. > Luna focuses on you.
  46. "Ah, Anonymous, thou art safe, we are glad. Come, let us track down the monster and bring it to justice!"
  47. > Mara looks at you pleadingly.
  48. "You don't think I'm a monster, do you?"
  49. > You pat her hoof comfortingly.
  50. "No more than I am, which is to say, slightly monstrous, but in a good way.
  51. > Luna notices her for the first time.
  52. "Thou hast yet another mare in thy herd, Anonymous? How many til thou art sated?"
  53. > Your mother-in-law looks at you with wide eyes.
  54. "I'm in your herd?"
  55. > This is all happening too fast.
  56. "I don't think so? At least, not yet."
  57. > Frozen gazes at you primly.
  58. "Not yet?"
  59. > There are too many mares.
  60. > Or not enough.
  61. "Look, you are the only confirmed member of my herd, I still haven't decided on anyone else."
  62. > Frozen becomes, if possible, more unreadable.
  63. "I do not like this uncertainty on whether or not you wish to be intimate with my mother."
  64. > Dang it, how are you supposed to take that?
  65. > Luna's nostrils flare, catching the scent of her prey.
  66. "I am yet unconfirmed, and thou art considering this monster as a mate?"
  67. > Mara hides behind you.
  68. > Frozen glares at Luna.
  69. "That is my mother, Princess."
  70. > Luna is at a temporary loss for words.
  71. > Now is your chance.
  72. "Luna, Mara here has agreed to be my personal chef. That panic in the streets was my fault, but now she won't cause another nightmare for about four months."
  73. > And breathe.
  74. > Luna is unsatisfied, but less upset.
  75. > She addresses Mara directly.
  76. "Do we have thy oath that thou shalt not trouble the dreams of mine ponies for four months?"
  77. > Mara stands a little straighter.
  78. "Upon my tongue, I do swear as thou sayest."
  79. > Luna nods, and turns to you.
  80. "Thus shall I leave her under thy watch, parole officer Anonymous. Now, if thou wilt excuse us, it is past time that I retire."
  81. > She strides out of the mansion, and into the spacial disruptions that lead back to Ponyville.
  82. > Mara gazes at you timidly.
  83. "You really think I could be in your herd?"
  84. > Oh yes, this didn't stop being a thing.
  85. "Look, you're an attractive enough mare, and I can't deny you are intriguing, and Frozen, help me out here!"
  86. > Your wife watches you neutrally.
  87. "It is your choice. Far be it from me to meddle with the desires of your heart."
  88. > She pauses.
  89. "Or your libido."
  90. > You are pretty sure she's teasing you now.
  91. "So you wouldn't mind if I got intimate with your mom?"
  92. > Mara fans herself with her hooves.
  93. "Ara ara, what a bold young stallion!"
  94. > Frozen blinks.
  95. "Even if you were to do so in front of me, I would not have the right to protest."
  96. > Mara is looking at you expectantly.
  97. > No way are you going to test that.
  98. > ...
  99. > ...
  100. > Not yet, at least.
  101. "Let me think on this, and actually get to know her first."
  102. > Frozen nods.
  103. "Prudent."
  104. > Mara nuzzles your shoulder.
  105. "Thank you, Anonymous, for defending me from your jealous marefriend. You are a good colt."
  106. > What can you say?
  107. "You are welcome, Mara."
  108. > Then your stomach growls, and she giggles.
  109. "Shall we continue? I can hardly wait to make breakfast for you, when it may win me a place in your herd."
  110. "... Let's just go."
  111.  
  112. > You open the door, only to find the shadowkin liaisons.
  113. "If I didn't know better, I'd say the world is out to keep me from having breakfast!"
  114. > They are somewhat taken aback at your outburst.
  115. > Nore Ihi cautiously steps forward, leaving behind a steaming hoofprint.
  116. "Have we offended you, Lord?"
  117. > Oh yeah, you are a lord. You had honestly forgotten.
  118. "No, it's fine, but if you wish to speak with me, you will have to do so at a walk."
  119. > You set off, accidentally brushing one of the glowing rods floating around her.
  120. > It's pleasantly warm, like hot bath.
  121. > Nore blushes, in her fire horse sort of way.
  122. > Soon enough, you are trailed by five hot mares, and feeling pretty alpha.
  123. > Ngee Chi teleports to your side.
  124. "If this is part of your routine, do you wish to see the shadowkin equivalent?"
  125. > Well,
  126. "It's just breakfast, and you guys don't eat, so..."
  127. > Nore catches up.
  128. "We could perform the traditional feeding ceremony, if it pleases you."
  129. > That sounds interesting, but
  130. "Once we get to the kitchen. I'm pretty hungry."
  131. > You make it there without further incident.
  132. > As Mara goes about breakfast, the shadowkin take advantage of the lull.
  133. > You sit down at the table to watch the show
  134. > Ngee rises up on her hind legs, towering a good six feet above you.
  135. > Nore begins circling her, with precise hoofsteps in a measured rhythm.
  136. > After a few orbits, you realize that she is stepping exactly in her previous hoofprints.
  137. > Ngee sweeps her long forehooves, teasing at the current, shifting it into the visible spectrum.
  138. > The torus of magic grows higher, Ngee weaving cords into an interlocking pattern.
  139. > At last, it stands stable and twelve feet high, a shimmering cone of red and purple magic.
  140. > Ngee teleports out, and Nore steps into the center, her six glowing rods keeping the structure spinning.
  141. > As Xylalon slowly pushes into the side, the magic splinters and is pulled into the pores of her cloudflesh.
  142. > Nore slowly backs away, keeping it as stable as she can.
  143. > Finally, Xylalon floats in the center, the cone collapsing into her from above.
  144. > She grins, the ritual done.
  145. "Pretty wild, huh?"
  146. > You have to agree.
  147. "Unlike anything I have ever seen. I have to ask, how did the tradition get started?"
  148. > Xylalon nods wisely.
  149. "I'll tell you. I don't know."
  150. > Nore kicks her cloudflesh, ignoring the small cry of protest.
  151. > She turns to you.
  152. "It's a tradition. Because of our traditions, everypony knows who they are, and what roles they are expected to play."
  153. > Fair enough.
  154.  
  155. > The sound of sizzling builds slowly, and you eye the French toast cooking on the stove
  156. "Smells good, Mara."
  157. > Come to think of it, eating isn't so bad, no need to give it up if you don't have to
  158. > Maybe you'll develop photosynthesis or something when you ascend
  159. > Your mother in law smiles, a hoof going to her cheek
  160. > "Thank you, Anonymous. You are such a sweet young colt."
  161. > Frozen rolls her eyes
  162. > Seriously, does she not care about her mom flirting with you?
  163. > Although, if herding is a thing, then as long as incest doesn't happen, maybe widows normally go to their daughter's herd?
  164. > Xylalon drifts into your field of vision
  165. > "Hey, we actually have a favor to ask. While this whole snowflake layout is cool and all, heh, it would be more convenient if there were more concentric rings in the inner districts. Could you or King Sombra do that?"
  166. > You check on the layout through the citadel input
  167. > You get the sense that most beacorns don't like to go too far inward, judging by the flow of the currents
  168. > Looking at the buildings themselves, the alleys and streets are probably a bit too steeply angled for the circumspect pathing the shadowkin seem to favor
  169. > Could you reorganize the buildings and streets?
  170. > Maybe, but you may have a better idea
  171. "How about a concentric series of elevated walkways?"
  172. > Nore Ihi dips her head
  173. > "We approve of this solution, provided there are sufficient access points."
  174. > Right
  175. > You tap on the floor, seeking out Sombra
  176. > It seems he's overlooking the fields, holding hooves with Maud
  177. > Awww
  178. "I'll talk to Sombra about it later. He's a bit preoccupied right now."
  179. > Nore tilts her head, then shrugs
  180. > "We thank you, Lord, for you consideration."
  181. "Glad I can help."
  182. > Ngee Chi clears her throat
  183. > "Ah, we should be off, we have a negotiation with the draconian executive council. By your leave, Lord Anonymous."
  184. > You nod
  185. "Good luck."
  186. > The liaisons depart with a few more murmured pleasantries
  187. > ...
  188. > You may never get used to being a Lord, you think
  189. > A plate slides in front of you, three steaming slices of French toast covered in syrup
  190. > You look at Mara in surprise
  191. "That was quick, thanks."
  192. > She beams at you
  193. > "You are quite welcome, Anonymous."
  194. > Didn't you read somewhere, that using a person's name a lot when talking to them is some sort of charm tactic?
  195. > Which probably isn't too surprising, given she is actively aiming for a spot in your herd
  196. > Well, no more delays
  197. > Your magic cuts the French toast into bite size pieces, levitating one to your mouth
  198. > Feels weird not using silverware, but magic is clearly superior
  199. > You chew on the piece, the richness of the egg perfectly sealed in the bread, the sweet maple syrup offsetting the savory toast perfectly
  200. > You hum in pleasure, to Mara's obvious delight
  201. > Frozen sniffs at your food
  202. > "May I? It has been a long time since I have tasted mother's cooking."
  203. > You swallow
  204. "Feel free. It's pretty good food."
  205. > She smiles at you, then dips her head to the plate, her supple tongue deftly scooping up a piece
  206. > You suddenly feel a little hot under the collar
  207. > You want to see that again, when you dream, and put that tongue to work
  208. > Frozen just closes her eyes in contentment as she chews
  209. > Cute
  210. > Your stomach growls
  211. > Oh yeah, you're hungry
  212. > You go to town on the French toast, Frozen stealing a bite here or there
  213. > All the while, Mara fondly looks on
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